My Stepsister is My Ex-Girlfriend - Volume 8 - Chapter 5

Show Me Your Serious Self

Love Can Be a Curse with a Single Word

Yume Irido

“Wahhh!” Aso-senpai wailed while rubbing Asuhain-san’s breasts in the bath. “He said no! Hic. Wh-Why?!”

I really wanted to ask her “why” in regards to her current actions, but she was crying so hard that it didn’t feel right. Asuhain-san must’ve felt bad for her because she remained in Aso-senpai’s arms without fighting. But she did occasionally softly squeal and moan as if she was being tickled.

“I thought I had it in the bag! Senpai, you stupidhead!”

Despite how much she was crying now, she hadn’t shed a single tear the entire way back here. I was sure she’d held back not only because of the other people around but also because Hoshibe-senpai had been there. But as soon as she fled into the bath, she broke down.

It’d been a while since I’d seen anyone cry this much. I couldn’t help but wonder just how Isana Higashira managed not to fall into this state when she’d been turned down. A broken heart is usually painful, like it was for Aso-senpai. The more serious you are about someone, the deeper the wound inflicted on you is when they turn you down. The life you had just a day ago starts to feel like a distant memory. Unlike Aso-senpai, I’d had a lot of time to prepare for my broken heart, so seeing her like this didn’t change how I felt about her, but...seeing my usually dependable upperclassman with tears streaming down her face—albeit while fondling someone else’s breasts—really tugged at my heartstrings.

“How strange...” President Kurenai said slightly sadly while narrowing her eyes. “Despite acting that friendly with you, he had no intentions of taking you as his girlfriend? The hearts of men are quite enigmatic. Just what about you was he unsatisfied with?”

“I don’t knooow! Hic. I-I asked him to be my boyfriend and then he said, ‘Sorry, I can’t be your boyfriend.’ Wahhh!”

“Eek! S-Senpai, don’t be so rough!” Asuhain-san let out a moan as Aso-senpai’s fondling became more intense.

It seemed that the only thing that could soothe Aso-senpai was the sensation of her underclassman’s boobs which she loved so much.

President Kurenai furrowed her brows, slightly peeved. “He said that, huh? If he had no intention of dating you in the first place, he should’ve made that clearer from his behavior.”

“I mean, Aso-senpai’s been coming onto him, so...”

“I know, I’m so lame! A-After acting like a femme fatale, I can’t even...”

I completely understood that her shame made her want to bury her head in the sand. If I were in her position, there was no chance I’d ever be able to look Hoshibe-senpai in the face again.

President Kurenai splashed through the water as she moved towards Aso-senpai and then lightly gripped her shoulders. “You’re gonna get dehydrated if you keep bawling like that. I’ll listen to you vent, so try lightening up on the crying.”

“Wahh... Hic.”

“Agh! H-Hey! Don’t rub my breasts too!”

I wryly smiled at the scene of Aso-senpai with the breasts of two different people in each of her hands. I had to be sure to keep my distance or else I’d become her prey too.

“This development feels familiar...” Higashira-san said softly next to me. “It’s best not to believe that there is or isn’t some kind of mutual romantic feeling... Otherwise, when you reveal that you thought they felt something for you, you end up being humiliated because they don’t...”

“Higashira-san...”

Despite seeming perfectly unbothered the day after she’d had her heart broken, she’d most likely cried like this the day Mizuto turned her down. It was hard for me to comfort her the same way that President Kurenai had done for Aso-senpai. After all, I’d been the reason Mizuto had rejected Higashira-san.

“I’m really sorry that I irresponsibly pushed you into asking him out.”

“There’s no need to apologize. Ultimately, I was the one who thought that I had a chance. There’s no way to know what’s inside for sure until you open the lid. But that’s precisely what’s so frightening—the unknown...”

I got what I wanted when I opened the lid, but both Higashira-san and Aso-senpai didn’t. What separated my attempt from theirs? What could I do to ensure that I didn’t get turned down this time? I don’t know. Not knowing made it all the scarier. It was so frightening that it almost made me not want to ever open that lid.

“Hic, hic!” Aso-senpai wailed. “I-I can’t... Senpaiii, I still love you even though you rejected me!”

Despite knowing that he didn’t want to date her, she couldn’t help but love him. It was almost like she was cursed.

How much heartbreak could a person endure? How much could two people endure living under the same roof? Would I end up hating Mizuto again like when we first started living together?

Argh. Even though this is all just pure speculation and purely hypothetical, I seriously envy Higashira-san. I almost feared how easily she’d been able to bounce back to how she used to act around Mizuto after he rejected her. All we could do was say stereotypical words to comfort Aso-senpai.

I did notice, however, that Akatsuki-san was simply watching us, a pained look in her eyes.

Boys and Girls

Kogure Kawanami

Akatsuki☆: aso-senpai got shot down

I couldn’t believe my eyes at the message Akatsuki had sent me. Aso-senpai got rejected by Hoshibe-san?!

K_KOGURE: fr?

Akatsuki☆: frfr. we’re all tryin’ to console her

Looks like it’s confirmed then. Akatsuki has more than a few screws loose, but she’s not the type to lie about something like this. I looked up from my phone to survey the room.

“Whoa! You’re not too bad, Haba!”

“I play ranked.”

“Gah! Hey, stop! Get away from the ledge!”

Hoshibe-san was playing against Haba-senpai in a fighting game that I’d brought. He didn’t seem any different from usual. If Akatsuki hadn’t said anything, there’s no way I would’ve guessed he’d just turned someone down. It didn’t seem that either Haba-senpai or Irido had any clue of what had transpired either. The former was focused on his match with Hoshibe-senpai while the latter was reading a book by the wall.

Had turning Aso-senpai down not been a big deal for him? Nah. There’s no way. They actually know each other. His underclassman who he’s been hanging around for over a year asked him out. I don’t think he’s so cold-blooded that turning her down isn’t weighing on his mind.

Akatsuki☆: Can you come out for a bit?

In the midst of my thoughts, Akatsuki messaged me. I only wanted to see joyous romance. I derived no pleasure from witnessing rejection. At any rate, I doubted that Akatsuki would explain the entirety of the events to me, but being with her was a lot better than having to be in this room and pretend like I didn’t know what’d happened.

“I’m gonna grab somethin’ to drink,” I called out.

“Got it,” Hoshibe-san shortly replied before I left the room.

I walked down the hallway and to the stairs. Akatsuki was waiting there. As soon as she saw me, she said, “Let’s go downstairs,” and began leading me downwards.

I followed her without saying a word. We slowly got farther and farther away from the front desk and salon where most of the guests were before, finally, Akatsuki stopped and rested her back against the wall in a deserted hallway. Her eyes fell towards the now darkened Japanese-style garden, but it felt as if she was actually looking at something else.

I leaned back against the wall right next to her, and looked in the same direction as her. After a while, Akatsuki finally spoke.

“Aso-senpai cried...a lot.”

“Uh-huh.”

“She’s always so cheerful, so it was a bit of a shock. Although the way she cried was kinda fun, I guess.” Akatsuki weakly chuckled. “Not gonna ask why she got turned down?”

“What’s the point? From what I can tell, there’s nothing I can do. I only really met her yesterday anyway.”

“True. Then again, I don’t really know why anyway. Seriously, there are a lotta weird guys out there like Irido-kun. Every girl I cheer for gets rejected.”

Though I’d been kept out of the picture, I knew that she’d tried to help Higashira ask Irido out. But it hadn’t worked out. Irido took her carefully laid plans and threw them back in her face by saying no to Higashira. Does she feel responsible for that?

“Am I a bad luck charm or something? All the girls around me are gettin’ shot down...and I doubt you’re ever gonna get into a relationship. I feel kinda down, to be honest...”

“Don’t be so superstitious. It’s not your fault things turned out that way.”

“Yeah, I know...but I had a certain thought as I watched Aso-senpai cry. All the girls that fall for you are gonna cry like that too...”

I couldn’t say anything. As long as my body was like this, there was no way I could say yes to anyone asking me out. Worst-case scenario, I might barf right in front of them, and that would be horrendous.

I had a feeling Akatsuki was blaming herself for my inability to date anyone. I know you are, aren’t you?

“It’d be nice if they only got mad at me when you say no, but there’s no way that any of them are gonna know that I’m the reason they’re getting turned down. With how popular you probably are, there’re gonna be a lotta girls who ask you out. That also means that there’s gonna be a lotta girls you make cry. That’s why I... I...” Akatsuki almost sounded like she was pleading. “I don’t want to make you into someone who everyone thinks is horrible!”

So that’s why you’re so desperate to cure me? You wanna force a cure on me for random people who might not even ask me out?

“I—”

“Come with me,” she commanded, grabbing me by the arm. “There’s somewhere I wanna go. Did you know there’s an outdoor bath with semimixed bathing?”

From what I could tell from the changing room, we’d come at the perfect time. It didn’t seem like there was anyone inside. As I entered the bath, I was taken aback by its shape, which stretched out straight like a narrow hallway.

I splashed through the water, making my way to the back. As I did, the water gradually got deeper and deeper. By the time the murky, brown bathwater covered the majority of my body, I could see outside.

Though this was advertised as an outdoor bath, in reality, you could only see the outside through the window, so it was more of a semioutdoor bath. But the thing I was more concerned with was there was another bath on the other side of me. It was separated by stones that were stacked higher than the level of the water.

“Oh, there you are.”

Akatsuki was on the other side. She was acting like her usual self and was leaning both her arms on the stone divider while looking over to me. Though the men’s and women’s baths converged here, the brown water was opaque, so it was impossible to see any submerged body parts—thus, it was considered a “semimixed” bath. “Heh heh... Doesn’t it kinda feel weird that we can’t see each other’s bodies even though we’re both naked?”

“Yeah...”

I was the only one on my side, and it seemed she was alone too. I wasn’t sure if we’d come here too early or late. Perhaps people just didn’t come here at this time.

“Hey, stop looking for other girls,” she said, glaring at me. “Even if there were any, it’s not like you could see them naked anyway.”

“Shaddup. Even if I can’t see, I’m still curious.”

“Y’know, it’s amazing how dirty your mind is despite the fact that you barf the instant a girl shows any affection for you. So unfair.”

And who exactly do you think is to blame for that? I kept myself from saying this out loud. She was more aware than anyone who exactly was to blame.

Akatsuki rested her face in her hands and smiled teasingly. “When was the last time we took a bath together? Oh, I guess it wasn’t too long ago. You know, at your place.”

“That was you barging in. The last time we consensually took a bath together was...”

...When we were still together. I stopped myself before I could dredge up those memories. There was no way I could stay calm if I went any further.

“Bathing together was so normal for us when we were in elementary school.”

“That’s just how kids are, isn’t it?” I said, shrugging.

“How old were you again when you asked where girls pee from?”

“Stop! Don’t air out my embarrassing past!”

“Aha ha ha! I was so shocked, I bawled. Your parents got pissed at you!”

I was ignorant about a lot of things back then, especially when it came to differences between guys and girls. I didn’t know about romance either or what would happen with us.

“Why did we stop taking baths together again? Was it because you touched my boobs?”

“Don’t make shit up! There wasn’t any one event that started it off. We just got older and naturally stopped taking baths together.”

Yeah, there wasn’t any reason. It just happened. Everything just kinda happened. We stopped taking baths together, we stopped going to school together, we stopped talking to each other in the classroom, and then we just so happened to start dating.

There wasn’t any sense of determination, responsibility, or anything else involved. Middle school boys are just like that. When a girl comes on to them, they pounce. Seriously, they’re as dumb as monkeys. But then when things end up going differently than expected, they start complaining. I’m still getting my just deserts for that.

“Hey, are you turned on?” Akatsuki asked with a devilish smile. “Tell me what you’re feeling now that you’re bathing with me as a high school girl.”

“Hmph,” I snorted. “We just took a little walk down memory lane. Are you really so stupid that you think I’d get hot from taking a bath with you now?”

I was no longer as ignorant as I had been back then. I was painfully aware about guys and girls, about romance, determination, regret, and tact. Romance wasn’t meant to be experienced—but observed. My answer hadn’t changed.

“Uh-huh...” Akatsuki nodded, but there was something strange about her intonation.

As soon as I realized that she was going to do something, she waded towards the window between us. Then she put her hands on the stone formation connected to it, and...

“Oof.” There was a splash of water and out of the brown, cloudy bath emerged the pale back of a girl, and then her waist, and then her butt.

I stared, dumbfounded as Akatsuki turned to face me. Completely naked. She sat on the edge of the bath with the darkened window against her back. Her body sparkled from the droplets of water. She smiled as she did so.

She tilted her head and repeated herself. “Are you sure you’re not turned on?”

Her small frame hadn’t changed too much from when she was in middle school. But it seemed that the parts of her that her clothes usually kept hidden had grown a decent amount. The lines around her hips and butt had begun to curve. Overall, the lines of her body had become much more distinctly womanly than before.

While her body was immature and her face was innocent, she was absolutely captivating. Or at least I thought so.

“Why...” I groaned, feeling myself break out into hives and a sense of nausea. “Why are you going so far?” I wasn’t sure if I was genuinely asking or pleading with her to stop. My fried lizard brain couldn’t keep this question inside me. “I would’ve been fine with how things are... We got back to a good point as friends... We were able to go back to being like-minded childhood friends... I was okay with that!” Though I didn’t mean to, I nearly cried that out, almost like a kid breaking down into tears. “So why are you trying to throw that all away?!”

It’s ending. This comfortable time that we had is ending. Thinking about that made me sad, angry, and my head a mess.

Akatsuki lowered her eyebrows a bit as if she wasn’t sure what to do. “Am I throwing it all away?”

“You are! Of course you are! Because if you do this...” If you show me your naked body... “I can’t see you as just my friend anymore. I’ll see you as a girl!”

Inside my head it felt like sparks were flying. They began scorching the insides of my brain, burning away any shreds of self-control I had. All that was left were the animalistic instincts that they’d covered. I hate this. I’m so done! I absolutely hate retreading old territory! I feel sick. So, so, so sick! Why can’t you just let me believe that guys, girls, and humans aren’t such dirty beings?! Just let me think that they’re precious, cute, beautiful, pure beings! Let me keep this impression I had as a kid!

“I’m sorry, Ko-kun.” This is ruthless. “Hearing you say that makes me so...so happy.”

Seeing her sheepish smile made me cover my mouth. I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t even raise my head. All I could do was splash away in the bath to get back to the entrance.

“Dammit...” Even after leaving, I couldn’t get it out of my head. The image of A-chan’s naked body had been seared into it. “God dammit! Shit!”

It felt like my head had become my heart with how hard it was beating. My throat felt uncomfortably dry, and I couldn’t catch my breath at all.

I didn’t want to get like this. I wanted to stay innocent like a child. I wanted us to stay as just childhood friends. But it won’t go away. It’s stuck there clear as day. Her slightly flushed skin. The gentle slopes on her chest. Her tight thighs, and then the gap in between them where I could get a glance of her...

“God dammit!!!”

I’ve remembered. I can’t help but remember. This was proof that we couldn’t go back to how we used to be anymore.

Reward for Being Serious

Yume Irido

I watched Aso-senpai as she slept, buried in her futon. I could hear her soft breathing.

“She tired herself out crying.”

“She screamed, made a lot of noise, ate a lot, and then slept. She’s like a kid,” Asuhain-san said, unimpressed.

Aso-senpai did look cute while she slept, and that made her seem younger.

“No, she’s like a baby, especially with how obsessed with boobs she is.”

“At the end of it she was screaming like a baby too...”

“Romance really makes people like this, huh?”

I glanced at Asuhain-san as she muttered this. “Hard to believe?” I asked.

“Well...I suppose at the very least, I didn’t think it was something to get so worked up over.”

“You won’t find many people who get as worked up over things as Aso-senpai...” I wryly smiled.

You also wouldn’t find as many people who could wolf down an entire dinner. Source: the dinner we had after our bath.

“However...I’m surprised that I’m slightly...angry.”

“At whom?”

“Hoshibe-senpai. What possible reason could he have had to turn down Aso-senpai and make her cry like that?”

“I see...”

President Kurenai’s reaction had been the same. Maybe that was the normal thing to do if you were close to Aso-senpai. Maybe it was because I’d been brokenhearted myself, but I couldn’t help but think that Hoshibe-senpai had his reasons.

“It’s really strange...” Asuhain-san said, looking down at Aso-senpai, who was sleeping like a kid. “I thought that romance was pointless, but now that I’ve seen someone cry that much over it, I feel kind of moved. I’ve started wondering if romance is as desperately important to her as studying is to me.”

“I get where you’re coming from. When you see someone desperately trying to give it their all—being serious—you can’t help but want to support them.”

“Serious...” Asuhain-san repeated that word under her breath as if to confirm it’d been said. “How serious was Hoshibe-senpai being?”

“Huh?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him take anything seriously. I’m sure he’s an exceptional individual given that he served as the student council president, but...”

“Well...”

I knew about Hoshibe-senpai’s shoulder. I didn’t know the details about what’d happened, but he had likely gotten injured and was forced to give up basketball.

“Aso-senpai kept asking ‘why’ too.” Like a mother to their child, Asuhain-san gently rubbed the face of the upperclassman that’d brought her onto the student council. “Did he not tell her? How couldn’t he when Aso-senpai was this serious?”

“Why?” Aso-senpai had cried over and over. He’d told her that he couldn’t be her boyfriend, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about him explaining why he couldn’t. Was it possible that he hadn’t told anyone—not even Aso-senpai—why he was turning her down?

“I might...be a little pissed too now.”

If Mizuto hadn’t given a reason to Higashira-san when he’d turned her down, I would’ve gotten extremely mad at him, even if I’d been the reason he’d said no. Sure, one might think that it was the rejectee’s choice to fall in love and then ask them out—it might not make sense to the person being asked out at the moment—but it wouldn’t hurt for them to take a little bit of responsibility. If they wanted the other person to shut down those feelings that they’d had all this time, then they at least owed them an explanation. Isn’t it only natural to return someone’s seriousness with seriousness of your own?

“You two,” President Kurenai suddenly spoke up. “Before you get pitchforks, let me just say that you shouldn’t press Hoshibe-senpai on this. It’ll just cause Aisa more anguish.”

“I...know that.”

“This is strictly between them. It’s wrong for any outsiders to butt their heads in.”

She was right. President Kurenai—the person who was closest to Aso-senpai and probably the angriest person in the room about this situation—was coolheaded. But then, what could we do?

“If it’s their problem, wouldn’t it be best to have them talk it out?” a voice suddenly said. However, it didn’t belong to me, Asuhain-san, or President Kurenai. It was Higashira-san. “Just because he turned her down, it doesn’t mean that they can’t associate with each other anymore,” Higashira-san elaborated. “Fortunately, there’s still one more day of this trip, so it may be perfect timing...perhaps. Heh heh...” she chuckled embarrassedly. “At least from my experience, asking someone out gets easier after you do it once.”

Though Higashira-san should’ve been the one most removed from the situation, she had the most convincing argument. Seriously, I can’t win with her. It feels like a distant memory when she came to me for advice.

“I see... Heh heh... I see...” President Kurenai began to shake with laughter, amused. “You’re right. There’s no reason to give up just yet. Besides, this is Aisa we’re talking about. She’s the in-your-face type who doesn’t get discouraged even if you treat her like she’s an annoyance. Heh heh... Ha ha ha! That’s true!”

She must’ve found this very funny, because she was now practically dying of laughter.

“Um...are you sure?” Asuhain-san asked, shooting a confused look at President Kurenai, then Higashira-san, and then me.

“Yeah...why not?”

Just as persistent guys were hated, persistent girls might’ve been hated as well. Although, in Aso-senpai’s case, she already was, by default, a lot to deal with.

“Okay, now that we have that decided, let’s have a strategy meeting,” President Kurenai said, sitting cross-legged on her futon.

“We’re going to have Aisa ask him out one more time when we’re at Mount Rokko tomorrow. We’re gonna drag his true feelings right out of that blockhead loser’s mouth.”

“You’re a lot more pissed off than I thought, President Kurenai...”

And that’s how the night in the girls’ room ended.

The Status of the Last Day

Joji Haba

The next morning, we awoke to our trip’s third and final day. After finishing checking out of the inn, we sent our belongings back ahead of us, and then started heading towards the station. Well, it was called a station, but it was actually a ropeway.

There was a ropeway that connected Arima Hot Springs to the peak of Mount Rokko. Our plan was to take it to do some sightseeing there, then take a different cable car down the mountain, and then go to a nearby train station and return to Kyoto.

“I really wanted to take you guys to the Takeda Castle ruins, but it’s a fair distance from here. It’ll be at least half an hour of climbing a mountain, so I decided to hold off this time since we’re a large group,” the organizer of this trip, Kurenai-san, explained. Then she covertly added, “Would you like to take a trip there, just the two of us, next time?”

“Sure, as long as I’m just carrying the bags,” I replied.

If I wasn’t careful with how I turned her down, all I would accomplish was, conversely, invigorating her.

We looked down at Mount Rokko from the sky. It’d turned a shade of crimson from the fall season. I almost felt like it was worth the effort for the experience of practically walking through the almost burning-looking mountainside.

Normally, this would’ve been around the time that Aso-san would cling to Hoshibe-senpai and begin fussing. But in reality, the two of them were looking down at the mountain separately from different windows. She wasn’t her usual boisterous self. She was just silently nodding along to whatever Irido-san and Minami-san were talking about.

I didn’t have to have great observation skills to know what was going on. In Aso-san’s mind, this should’ve been the day that they’d have their first date as a couple. It must’ve hurt more because of how beautiful the scenery was. She couldn’t enjoy this at all.

On the other hand, I was more interested in a different pair. Kawanami-kun was speaking with Hoshibe-senpai while Minami-san was speaking with Aso-san. The two of them had not exchanged a single word today, though it felt more like Kawanami-kun was avoiding Minami-san.

I held back a sigh. I hadn’t thought this would be a leisurely trip, but this was not within my expectations. Girls and guys really shouldn’t go on trips together.

What I Want to Touch Can’t Be That

Yume Irido

Aso-senpai was wholeheartedly fluffing the wool of a sheep. After arriving at the peak of Mount Rokko, we first looked around at the scenery, looked at the gift shops, and looked out from the terraces with good views.

I bought gifts for Sakamizu-san and Nasuka-san as well as mom and Mineaki-ojisan. I was satisfied with having been able to do that, but I could tell that Aso-senpai was still down in the dumps.

After looking at the scenery from the terrace, she’d suddenly said, “I wanna go to a farm.”

There was a farm on Mount Rokko. It was a little closer than twenty minutes away on a rickety bus. After arriving, we were met by a farm that almost resembled a theme park with various fenced enclosures where sheep, goats, cows, and other animals roamed free.

I’d heard once that when animals sense that a human is distressed, they’ll go up to them and try to cheer them up. Aso-senpai, seeing a sheep after wandering around, staggered over to it and began petting it.

“Heh heh... You’re so soft. Not like me, who’s all broken and jagged.”

Uh, isn’t this supposed to help you feel better? She was smiling, but it was in a creepy way. She didn’t stop at petting the sheep. Next, she found a Holstein cow and crouched next to it.

“Heh heh... You got big tits... Maybe if I’d been more like you, things would’ve worked out.”

Then she found cute bunnies and she stared at them through thin eyes. “Heh heh... Maybe if I’d been cute like you guys...”

I couldn’t watch this anymore. There was no way that the combination of a high school girl and animals should’ve been this painful. Aso-senpai creepily laughed while petting the round Angora rabbits. “Oh... So soft. So warm... I wanna have a pet... Maybe I’ll ask my mom if I can have a cat or something.”

“No!” Akatsuki-san, President Kurenai, and I screamed out in unison.

I’ve heard of this! Once someone gets a pet, they’ll never get married! She didn’t seem to have heard us and just continued to creepily laugh while petting the rabbits. She’s really hurting...

“Aisa...” President Kurenai put her hand on Aso-senpai’s shoulder like a manager telling someone they’re gonna be fired. “We talked among ourselves and came up with an idea. Want to hear it?”

“Huh? What?”

“The plan right now is to go back to the station, have lunch, and then take a cable car back down the mountain and go right back to Kyoto. But I’m thinking of adding one thing into the mix.”

It would’ve hurt Aso-senpai more if we interfered with her. The best we could do was give her time.

“I was looking around, but there’s a garden terrace not too far from here with a small tower. There’s an observation deck where you can look at the scenery from, but it’s not very large and can’t fit that many people on it.”

“Uh... So?”

“Go there with Hoshibe-senpai.”

“Huh?!” she practically squeaked. Her eyes turned to dots.

“Leave convincing Hoshibe-senpai to me. The important thing is for you to go to the tower and then talk to him.”

“What do you mean? I already asked him out, and I got my answer!” She yelled so loudly that the rabbits ran away. “I can’t even look at him right now. How am I supposed to talk to him? There’s nothing I want to say!”

“You kept asking ‘why’ yesterday, didn’t you?” Asuhain-san interjected. “Don’t you want to know why Hoshibe-senpai doesn’t think he can be in a relationship with you?”

“W-Well...”

Even if she couldn’t date him, knowing what’s on his mind would at least help her come to terms with things.

“Don’t be scared, Aso Aisa. Not now,” President Kurenai said, grabbing Aso-senpai strongly by the shoulders. “If he was going to hate you over something as trivial as this, then he would’ve hated you a while ago. Am I wrong?”

“No, but...”

“The guy you fell in love with isn’t the type of scumbag who wouldn’t at least tell the girl he rejected why. Am I wrong?”

“No, but...”

“Well, even if we’re both wrong about that,” President Kurenai said, laughing as usual, “we’ll be there to pick up the pieces. Ran-kun will let you fondle her as much as you like.”

“What?! President Kurenai?!” Asuhain-san yelped.

We all laughed. She’s right. A broken heart doesn’t mean death. I know that there are some people who can smile even after having their heart broken.

Aso-senpai groaned a little, tears beginning to fill her eyes. “I-Is it really okay? Can I really keep fighting?”

“Don’t be stupid. Don’t you remember?” President Kurenai lightly poked Aso-senpai in the cheek. “There’s nobody who would willingly stay with your annoying antics.”

That’s why she shouldn’t have cared so much. She shouldn’t have been scared. She already had the courage to press on inside her.

Something Precious

Kogure Kawanami

“Phew...”

Despite the air being so clean and pure up here, it was hard for me to breathe. Irido flashed me a glance but kept walking without a word.

“Come on, Irido, say something!”

“Like what?”

“You’ve noticed, haven’t you? You can tell how much of a funk I’m in, right? Aren’t you worried about me at all as my friend?!”

“Nope. Not really.”

“Have a heart!”

Sheesh, it’s really hard to be his friend sometimes. How can he act like this towards me, but be so overprotective of Higashira? Then again, even if he’d asked what was going on with me, I wouldn’t have really given him an answer. At best, I would’ve answered with “nothing.” If someone was acting like something was bothering them and reacted like that, I’d get pissed. It’s like, act normal if you don’t want somebody to ask you if you’re okay.

At any rate, the problem I had wasn’t something I could ask for advice on. How was I supposed to get someone to sympathize with me when my problem was hating myself for seeing my childhood friend as a girl? Plus, recounting what had happened would just make it sound like I was bragging about my own romantic success. With that said, if someone were to try and give me fake sympathy, I’d be pissed.

Irido probably had been able to sense that and decided not to say anything. Or at least, that’s what I wanted to believe. But also, when was the last time I ever asked somebody for advice? Though I gave advice to others, I’d never received it. Was that because I didn’t let anyone in? Was it because even though I acted friendly, I drew a line between me and other people?

Akatsuki might’ve been the same in that regard. I had never seen her seek advice from anyone. As proof, no one else knew about my condition. If anything, we were more like siblings than childhood friends. Thinking about it like that, the conflicted feelings inside of me were completely justified. Of course I felt disgusted by the fact that I was horny for my sister.

The only caveat was that there was a time when we weren’t siblings—a time when it was normal for her to turn me on. Even if I wanted to forget this happened, there was a time when I’d even brutally rejected her.

“Senpai, you got a second?” the student council president called out to Hoshibe-san.

Why is she on her own? Shouldn’t she be with the girls? I thought it was strange, but then I found out why she was here from the next thing she said. “I’m here with a message from Aisa.” Oh, she hasn’t given up? “She says she’ll be waiting at the Lookout Tower, and you should definitely go there.”

“Definitely”? How much determination did she have to add that one word to her request? It might’ve been a little impudent of me to guess the inner workings of a woman’s heart, but I was sure that she hadn’t said that word lightly. She hadn’t been wishy-washy with her phrasing so that she had a fallback. It would be easy to make it seem that it wasn’t that big of a deal to her. That’d be the easiest way to go about things.

Finish what’s in front of you right now and then take a break to cool off, and then put off the almost wall-like task, and slip past it later. It should’ve been possible. They could’ve kept talking to each other tomorrow, the day after, and so on while pretending nothing had happened. At the very least, on the surface, you could return to the life you had before you asked them out. But that cheap temptation didn’t exist in Aso-senpai’s world. She’d kicked that option to the curb. Instead, she’d chosen to keep fighting and tackle the wall in front of her. She could do that, whereas last night, I just ran away.

Romance isn’t meant to be experienced. All you get out of romance is pain and annoyance. It’s full of uncertainty, confusion, and self-hatred, and in the end, nothing turns out right. That’s why watching romance is so, so much more fun. That’s exactly why I found people who actually fought to experience romance were precious.

“Oh...” Hoshibe-san looked away. “Sorry, but...can you tell her no for me? There’s nothin’ left for me to say,” he said, trying to brush past this.

No. No, that’s not right. I know this is wrong. It can’t be right. It has to be wrong. You’re not supposed to say that.

“President Kurenai...” It was at this moment that I stopped being on the sidelines as a ROM expert. “Don’t worry. I will definitely get Hoshibe-san there.” Before I knew it, I was behind Hoshibe-san, grabbing him by the arm.

“Wait, Kawanami. What’re you sayin’?”

“Sorry, but I’m the type of person who can’t accept anything other than a happy ending.”

“Huh?”

“Hoshibe-san, when someone’s being serious with you, you should be serious with them too.”

Like I’m one to talk. Boldly, brazenly, shamelessly, calmly. Why must I make other people do the things I can’t? How many boomerangs do I have to throw until I’m satisfied? I...

“Hoshibe-san, didn’t you say that you really admired the courage of that girl who asked you out in middle school?”

“Well...”

“What’s more admirable in your mind: someone who has no relationship with you asking you out or someone who has to consider whether they’re willing to lose their current relationship with you by asking you out? Who has more courage?”

She had to have a lot of courage. She’d risked ten years of being childhood friends in order to try and become part of a couple.

“If you really admire that courage, you should listen to her as many times as necessary.” Don’t be scared. Don’t run. Don’t stay complacent. “Show us how it’s done, Senpai!” Turning your back on a girl being serious with you is honestly the most uncool thing out there.

President Kurenai, who’d been silently listening, chuckled and looked up at Hoshibe-san. “You should set an example for your underclassmen, President Hoshibe.”

“I’m not the president anymore...” he said in a low voice. “Argh. Dammit. Fine! I’ll go. Happy?! I’m not such a wuss that I’ll run away now after you said all that. Shit. Why are my underclassmen such busybodies?!”

“Don’t you think they learned it from watching their upperclassmen?” President Kurenai giggled.

It’s true. Hoshibe-san is just as much of a busybody. Then he deeply exhaled and looked at our group.

“Well, there you guys have it. I’ll be back later. Haba, as the oldest, make sure you watch over the first-years.”

“Huh? Wait, President Hoshibe—”

“Ugh. I’m not the president anymore. Remember that,” he said, not allowing for any responses as he walked off towards the bus station with his long legs.

For some reason his back seemed slightly bigger than it usually did.

“Aren’t you a ROM expert?” Irido asked, unimpressed.

I shrugged. “Something came over me.”

Romance isn’t meant to be experienced. But once you do...there’s no helping it.

Seriousness

Tohdo Hoshibe

My shoulder throbbed in pain. Usually I didn’t need to pay too much attention to it. After all, it was my left shoulder, not my dominant one. I could live my life without any real complications. If anything, getting shots bothered me more than the pain I felt in my shoulder.

Even so, it’d throb with pain sometimes, and when it did, my attempted layup always flashed through my mind. I could see myself reaching out to the hoop, with it getting farther and farther away. I envisioned my upperclassmen who were forced out of the tournament. I was like one of Pavlov’s dogs—every time I felt the pain, an extremely deep sense of helplessness was sure to follow. It was as if I was being reminded that no matter what I’d done, the outcome wouldn’t have changed.

Everyone has limits. If someone believes they can do something beyond their means and pushes themselves too far, they’ll end up in a world of hurt, unless they’re some sort of prodigy like Kurenai.

That’s why it’s important to always leave yourself some leeway. No matter what happens, you have to make some space for yourself so that you can back out if things get dangerous. You need to give yourself leeway, maintain it, and keep as much of it for yourself as possible. I mean, taking things seriously will just blow up in your face.

“Hey...” I hesitantly called out.

She was waiting at the end of the narrow spiral staircase. Unlike yesterday, she was wearing a thin, long skirt that fluttered in the wind—her usual frilly, childish style. That being said, the usual cringey aspect was nowhere to be seen. Maybe it was because she didn’t have any accessories on, but I got the feeling that she wasn’t dressing in a way that had the objective of attracting attention.

Aso turned around, gently holding her hair down so it didn’t get messed up by the wind. Behind her, I could see Kobe. It was so small it looked like a grain of sand. I was sure that after sunset, it would look like a beautiful sea of lights, just like the scenery we’d seen last night on the Ferris wheel.

It was just the two of us. No one else was around, perhaps because it was lunchtime. If we weren’t alone, I was certain Aso would’ve waited until we were. Her expression told me just how determined she was.

“You really came, Senpai.”

“Yeah, well, I was practically threatened by Kurenai and one other person.”

Kawanami’s words replayed in my head. I hadn’t been able to respond to him. It was as if I’d accepted how lame I was. What’s wrong with being lame, though? But maybe I was just pretending it didn’t bother me—putting on airs, as I usually did.

“Let me just say this first,” I started, my heavy feelings pushing me to talk. “My answer won’t change no matter how many times you ask me out.”

Aso weakly smiled at me. “That’s okay. I don’t think you’re the type of person who changes his mind so easily. I mean, now that I think about it, you’ve practically been rejecting me this entire time, so this isn’t all that different.”

“Up until now, you’ve only jokingly asked me out.”

“That’s true... I guess I was serious this time.” Serious, huh? “Senpai, you’ve stuck by me no matter how annoying I’ve been.”

“If I hadn’t, you’d have found an even more annoying way to stick around me.”

“So then, I want you to answer this: why won’t you date me? Do you really hate the idea of being my...boyfriend that much?”

I exhaled. Even though we were so high up above Kobe, the blue autumn sky was still so far away.

“I don’t...hate the idea...” I couldn’t come up with excuses anymore. “I don’t hate how annoying you are. I don’t get exhausted from bein’ around you either. That’s how it feels when I hang with you. Of course...there are fun times too.”

“But still...your answer’s no?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is.” As soon as I said these words, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth. “It’s not you. Honestly...there’s probably something wrong with me. Even if someone I got along with even more than you asked me out, I bet I’d reject them too. I...can’t date anyone. I’m not trying to say that you don’t match up to me or somethin’ like that. I’m sayin’ that I’m incapable of being in a relationship.” I can’t date you because I’m not capable of it. I’m incapable of being a boyfriend. “A relationship is way beyond me. It’s more than I can handle. Even if we did go out, I’d never be the kinda boyfriend you want.” Things’ll end up just like they did with that girl in middle school. We’d date and then you’d realize that I’m not the guy you thought I was. “That’s why I can’t date anyone—especially you. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you. So that’s why before I do, I figured that I should say all this.”

I was a little surprised by what’d come out of my mouth. “Especially you”? This underclassman of mine was more important to me than I’d thought. I couldn’t believe I was only realizing this now. But it didn’t change anything. No matter who asked me out, I was incapable of dating them.

Suddenly I heard her mumble something under her breath.

“Hm?” What did she say? I tilted my ear towards her to catch what she’d said as it was blown away by the mountain wind.

“Are you freaking kidding me?!”

She’d screamed this so loudly, her words echoed in the mountains. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she caused a landslide. Startled, I recoiled, nearly falling off the tower. As I clutched my ringing ears, still a little shaken, my underclassman stood there, shoulders heaving, panting angrily.

“Wh-What’d you do that for?! That’s dangerous!”

“I don’t give a crap! Maybe you should just fall off since you’re such a wuss, Senpai!” she yelled, getting so close that she could poke me with her nails. “I was wondering what kinda reason you had, but it’s because you’re ‘incapable’ of being in a relationship?!” She glared at me. “Did you say that you’ll never be the kind of boyfriend I want?! Do you have crap for brains? How the hell did you misunderstand it that badly, you virgin?!”

“Huh?!”

“I don’t want you to become my boyfriend! I want my boyfriend to be you!”

“Uh...huh?” What’s the difference?

I didn’t even have the time to stay confused, though, because she immediately let out an exasperated sigh.

“Listen, Senpai, even if we dated, I wouldn’t want you to act any differently than you have been. We’ll talk, play games, and sometimes I’ll make you food. It’ll be exactly the same as it has been.”

“Y-Yeah, I guess...”

“I like who you are normally! I like how even when I’m all in your face, you still stick around and genuinely talk with me. I like that ‘oh crap’ face you make when we’re playing games together. I like how you’re blunt about my cooking, but still eat all of it anyway. I like all of that about you!”

“O-Oh... How can you say all of that without being embarrassed?”

“All my cards are on the table! That’s my new strategy, now that things have come to this! Like hell am I gonna play the femme fatale right now!” Oh, so it really is just an act of yours. “Do you understand now?! I’m hopelessly in love with you, not the idea of you being my boyfriend! I want you as my boyfriend! I want you right by my side—a special seat that’s closer to me than any other!”

She doesn’t want a boyfriend, she wants...me. “That makes me happy, but...”

“Is that it?”

“Do you need more?”

“Yeah. I want to hear what you really think. I want to hear your serious thoughts.” My serious...thoughts, huh? “Senpai,” Aso put her hand against her chest and looked into my eyes. “How much do you like me?”

I fixed my gaze onto hers. That’s all I could do. It was as though my eyes had been captured by hers, now locked into place.

“You sure I like you?”

“You did just say that you don’t hate me.”

“There are more ways to feel than liking and hating someone, y’know.”

“Well, it’s not like you feel indifferent, right?”

“I guess not...”

“At the very least, there have to be a few things you like about me. Can you tell me what those are? List them out like I just did.”

I couldn’t run away. I was surrounded by mountains. The only route of escape was the sky, but I couldn’t fly.

“Maybe...like how you’re surprisingly good at taking care of your underclassmen?”

“What else?”

“Uh...you make good food.”

“What else?”

“Y-You got a cute face.”

“What else?!”

“Huh? Uh...you can be a pretty hard worker when you put your mind to it.”

After squeezing this out of me, Aso grinned. “That’s four things. That’s one more than I said, Senpai.”

“You’re the one who forced me to keep going!”

“Either way, I guess there are parts of me that you like, aren’t there?” Yeah...true. None of these ever occurred to me before. “I bet there are about the same number of things you hate about me, though. But all I have to do is fix them as we go. After all, I’m serious about you, and I’m more than ready to change myself to become your ideal girlfriend.”

“So, what? If I said I liked gyarus, you’d become a gyaru?”

“With ease.”

“What if I’m possessive?”

“I’ll delete all the contacts in my phone except for yours.”

“What if I like guys?”

“I’ll get surgery and become a guy.”

You’re joking...right? But the fact that I couldn’t really count her out on doing that was just a testament to the force of nature that Aso was.

Aso slightly tilted her head. “Still no?”

I had to think. I had to think about things I’d never thought about before. I had to go past who I was as a person—I had to go deeper.

“Yeah.” Ultimately, I still came to the same conclusion. “No matter how you match yourself to fit what I want, I won’t know what to do. Even if you don’t want anything from me, I’m incapable of wanting anything from you.”

What was I supposed to want? Her body? Her approval? Nothing felt right. If I couldn’t think of anything, then what made it different from our current relationship?

“What do you want, Senpai?”

Good question. “No clue. I haven’t known for a long time...”

“Oh, really? I think I do, though.” Aso walked around me and lined up beside me, leisurely looking out at the mountain peak. “I played the heroine in my elementary school’s play and ended up learning how great it was to have everyone’s eyes on me. After that, I wanted someone to look at me. That’s how I’ve lived my life this entire time.”

“If it’s that ingrained inside you, couldn’t you try becoming an actress or something?”

“Yeah, seriously. I had the same thought back then. But...I could never get serious about becoming one.” She softly giggled, as if laughing at herself. “It’s fun having people watch you, but not to the point that I want to devote my entire life to it. It’s something I want—but not something I have enough passion or talent for. Though, it is a little sad that I wrote myself off like that when I was that young. It’s a kid’s job to dream.” Aso looked up at the clear blue sky. “I’ve always wanted something I could get serious about—something that didn’t involve my desire to have someone looking at me.”

Suddenly, bright memories flashed through my head, in which I’d just single-mindedly chased the ball and aimed for the hoop.

“Senpai, I’ve said this a lot of times already: I’ve found what I’ve been looking for.” Aso’s told me a lot of times how serious she is. “Shouldn’t you get serious too?”

The autumn sky was blue. So, so blue. There wasn’t a single cloud. You’re amazing, Aso. You haven’t broken or given up at all. You haven’t made any excuses or tried to hide behind something. You brought me out this far, being as straightforward as a layup and as powerful as a dunk. You’re amazing. Seriously. You’re amazing. How am I your upperclassman?

I slowly lifted my left hand and stretched it out before raising it. I felt a throbbing pain, but my arm’s movement wasn’t dulled at all. I’d known for a while that the pain wasn’t real. It came from my memories. It couldn’t hold me back.

I stretched out my hand as far as I could to the sky—above the mountain and above the tower. The sky felt so close, but it was so out of reach. Oh, right. Compared to the sky, the basketball hoop is a lot closer.

“Ha ha...” The phantom pain disappeared. It’s so close, but so far...

“Senpai?” Aso said, rife with curiosity.

I closed my hand as if to catch her words. “I can’t keep acting this pathetic.” I brought my fist down to my chest and opened it. Of course, there was nothing there, but I felt like there was something I could grab almost immediately after.

“Aso...thanks.”

“Huh?”

“Thanks to you, my eyes are open.” I knew exactly what I wanted to grab. I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her into my arms.

“H-Huh?!”

“You told me I should get serious too, right?” As I felt the warmth from her slender, soft body, I whispered into her ear. “Listen close, okay? Otherwise the wind might drown me out. I’m...pretty into you.”

“Wh-What?!”

Looking at her like this, I could easily tell that I didn’t feel that way because she’d saved me. I’d thought I needed to watch over her to make sure she didn’t trip over her own two feet, but she was actually quite strong. I really admired that about her, but I was a lazy slacker who never looked at anyone besides myself. But then, before I knew it, I was only looking at her.

That’s why I knew my answer from the start. “I won’t look at anyone else but you for the rest of my life.”

But honestly, “for the rest of my life” is kinda heavy. There’s no wiggle room. There’s no break. There’s no escape. It didn’t matter, though. I wanted to say that to her. I was so enthralled by her that I couldn’t help but be straightforward.

“H-Huh?” Aso’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. Her mouth quivered as she looked up at me. “D-Did you just—”

“What? Be happy. You stole victory from the jaws of defeat.” I was serious now, so there was no need to be roundabout with my words and hide how I really felt. I’ll say this once more for you. “I’ll be your boyfriend. So...be my girlfriend.”

Aso started trembling. “Hyaaaaaah!” Her cheer echoed and then faded into the mountains.

Your Actions Reveal Your True Feelings

Yume Irido

Out of the blue I heard a mysterious scream from the top of the tower. Then a few minutes later, Aso-senpai and Hoshibe-senpai came down. For some reason, she was using his shoulder as a crutch, her legs unsteady.

“A-Are you okay, Senpai?” I called out, worried that she might’ve hurt herself.

Aso-senpai clung harder to his shoulder. “M-My legs gave out...”

“Huh? Why?”

“Apparently, when humans are confronted with something extremely surprising, they get like this.”

Hoshibe-senpai snickered. His expression was much softer than before. Actually, it seemed like he was looking at Aso-senpai much more endearingly than usual too. Wait. Are they possibly—?!

“Aisa... Did you...?” President Kurenai nervously started.

A wide smile spread across Aso-senpai’s face. “Eheh heh heh heh!”

“Cut the gross laugh and give it to me straight!”

“Aw, fine. I can tell you’re just dying to hear what happened. Okay, okay, calm down. I get it.” Aso-senpai finally stood on her own two feet. Then, she squeezed Hoshibe-senpai’s hand and lifted it high in the air as if she was a referee. “Allow me to introduce you. This is Tohdo Hoshibe-senpai, Aso Aisa’s boyfriend!”

“What kinda introduction is that?” Hoshibe-senpai sounded annoyed, but...he didn’t deny it.

She’d pulled off a complete reversal. One could say that this had been her last chance. She’d shot her shot in our last hour here and came back victorious. But also, there was something else that both President Kurenai and I were surprised by.

“President Hoshibe...”

“Is your shoulder...okay?”

Despite Aso-senpai lifting Hoshibe-senpai’s left arm above his head, he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Huh? Was it the other shoulder?

“Oh, right.” Hoshibe-senpai said, looking at his shoulder. “Well yeah, you know, this and that happened. So yeah, this is kinda how it is.”

“Huh? What’s that about your shoulder, Senpai?” Aso-senpai asked, curious.

President Kurenai and I were both stunned by her response. “Wait. Aisa, you don’t know about his shoulder?”

“Huh? What about it? I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hoshibe-senpai’s shoulder’s injured and he can’t raise it above his head!”

“Huh?!” Aso-senpai’s eyes widened and she frantically let go of his hand. “Wait, wait. You’re kidding right?! Really?! So it hurts? But back then...”

Hoshibe-senpai looked right into Aso-senpai’s eyes and lightly touched his shoulder. “You’ve already helped it heal.”

“Huh? What?”

Then, in her confusion, Hoshibe-senpai took Aso-senpai’s hand back in his and began walking with her. “Let’s get lunch. I’m starvin’.”

“Oh, now that you mention it. Me too...”

“‘Me’?” Hoshibe-senpai said, surprised. “Hey, Ms. Femme Fatale, what happened to your little act of using ‘Aisa’ when speaking?”

“D-Don’t tease me like that! I don’t have to say my name anymore because...you remember it, right?”

“That’s true, Aisa.”

Aso-senpai squealed. “P-Please don’t use my first name out of the blue like that!”

They were now a couple and brazenly flirting with each other. We looked back at them as they did. Aso-senpai was the only one who didn’t know about his shoulder? Does that mean...?

“I guess he didn’t want to show any weakness around the girl he liked,” President Kurenai muttered.

Hearing her say that made me smile. Aso-senpai and Hoshibe-senpai really are a perfect match.

Courage

Kogure Kawanami

You did it. You really showed me how it’s done, Senpai. Now, as the underclassman who egged you on, it’s my turn to follow your example.

“Hey,” Akatsuki said, casually waving her hand at me, sitting on the steps. “Whatcha doin’ here all by yourself?” she asked, skipping up the short stairs, curved like an amphitheater’s.

Seriously, I’m always the one running away. Last night in the hot spring, when I broke up with her in my hospital room, even when I’d collapsed from the ulcer—it was all because I kept everything bottled up inside.

“I’m just watching over the conclusion of things. Look, you can see the top of the tower from here, right?” Then, I turned around to the white brick tower where Hoshibe-senpai and Aso-senpai had just been. From here, I’d been able to get a slight peek of what had transpired.

“Wow, you’re not kidding,” she said, slightly standing on her tippy-toes while looking at the tower. “How do you even find places like this? You’re basically a stalker.”

“That hurts, coming from you of all people. Anyway, I was just wandering around and happened to stumble upon this spot.”

I hadn’t heard the exact words exchanged by Aso-senpai and Hoshibe-senpai, but every now and then, I’d heard her scream out. From that, I got a rough idea of how things had gone. It’d been more than enough. They’d had a serious talk and hashed things out. Heh, a serious talk... Sheesh. After seeing that, I couldn’t help but think about having one myself.

Was I really okay with how things were? Was I okay living the rest of my life in fear and terror—turning a blind eye to my love allergy and to the scars of the past? Akatsuki had taken the initiative and resolved to face our past. Was it okay for me to brush things off and make a safe space I could run away to?

Don’t think about anything extra. What’s wrong with running away? What’s wrong with brushing things off? Only kids think that’s not okay. But look at me now. I hadn’t changed a bit since I failed to speak up for myself and tell Akatsuki how much pain she was causing me, and ended up in the hospital.

If she was trying to move forward, then I had to be right there with her. After all, this was a pain that we both shared. It wasn’t her cross to bear alone.

“Hey, lemme ask you somethin’ again,” I said. A-chan looked straight at me. There was no difference between our heights with her standing on the step below me, and me sitting on one above her. “Why are you...trying to cure me?”

It was a serious question that I asked in a serious voice. I hadn’t been sure how difficult it would be to ask such a question. If I knew, I was sure that I wouldn’t be able to go back to how things were. Once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop.

I decided to take a step into A-chan’s intentions, her heart, her territory. There was no turning back. I couldn’t play the fool anymore. I’d chosen the option where we were now on the same page. More than anything, my allergy wasn’t something I could control. The wounds on my heart were screaming that they were frightened.

A-chan might make me do something again. She might make me her pet again. I might end up hating her again. I needed serious determination to overcome the fear, terror, anxiety, and rejection inside me. I most likely needed serious determination to overcome all that and press on anyway. That determination was most likely called courage.

“Mm...” A-chan began playing with her ponytail, looking away as if conflicted, possibly affected by the courage I’d squeezed out. “Well, I already told you that if I leave you like this, you’re gonna make a lotta girls cry, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, and I told you that it’s my responsibility to ensure that doesn’t happen, didn’t I?”

“Yeah...I guess there’s one more thing—just one more.” A-chan observed me as my heart tightened with anxiety. “Actually wait, do you have a barf bag on you?”

“Huh? No...I don’t get motion sickness or anything.”

“Got it. Well, I brought one just in case.” A-chan rummaged around in her bag and brought out a barf bag. “Here. Open it and hold it tight. You know how to use it, right?”

I couldn’t even get a word in before she’d made me open the bag and hold it under my face. What’s going on? We’re not in a car or anything...

“So, the other thing is...” A-chan’s face turned so red that it could’ve melted ice. “I want one more chance to boldly say that I like you, Ko-kun.”

Boldly. One more time? “Urp.” I felt a strong wave of nausea from the bottom of my stomach.

I inadvertently arched my back and shoved my face into the bag. Hives erupted across my body., like a fire had been lit. My brain had abandoned logical thought and resorted to spreading all sorts of unpleasant feelings across my body. But...even so...

“Rrgh... Agh!” I raised my head from the bag, holding back my vomit. I gritted my teeth, stuffing the nausea back down. I cleared my head, trying to fight off the unpleasant feeling across my body.

A-chan looked at me, surprised. “Did you...swallow it?”

“We shoulda...done this before lunch. Heh heh...”

The back of my throat felt a little acidic, but that was it. I’d beaten my stupid allergy. Heh, so I can do it.

“Oh yeah, it’s really hitting me now.” I thrust the bag back at Akatsuki and forced a smile. “It’s pretty hard to deal with this condition of mine as is. You keep getting the leg up on me.”

“That’s it? You know I technically just confessed to you, right?”

“Old news. If being an extremely clingy girl with lingering feelings was a sport, you’d take home gold.”

Akatsuki frowned, seemingly dissatisfied. “What, you don’t have lingering feelings? Can you really say that after getting all hot and bothered seeing me in the bath last night?”

“Yeah, I’ll admit it. Your body is surprisingly sexy!”

“I...can’t believe it...”

Romance wasn’t always pure and innocent. It often was intertwined with desires and instincts. In order to overcome this condition of mine, I had to be able to at least control those instincts. I couldn’t let myself drown in desire or lose to my instincts. I needed to take in the good with the bad and face this head-on—courageously.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have run off. Next time you do that, I’ll look at every nook and cranny of yours, don’t worry.”

“Don’t go on the offensive, you loser! Don’t forget that I’m the one with the upper hand here!”

“Yeah, I’m apologizing! Gimme a break! I can’t hold on much longer.”

I’m gonna barf. I’m definitely gonna barf. It’s gonna spew everywhere.

“Hmm.” Akatsuki lightly grinned. Just as I was starting to get a bad feeling, Akatsuki went up one more step and looked down at me like a king. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna be careless and make you feel worse. Relax, okay?”

“Th-Thanks... Then why are you getting closer to me?”

“By the way,” Akatsuki said, bending over to look right in my eyes. The collar of her shirt hung down, allowing me to catch a glimpse of her modest cleavage. “Judging from the results of this experiment, it seems that you’re able to handle having feelings for me.” Akatsuki shot me a devilish grin. “Am I right about that?”

Rrgh, why’s she gotta be so annoying? I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, but I didn’t feel the usual nausea or hives.

A Nice Dream

Joji Haba

Contrary to my prediction, it seemed that we were going back home without any drama. After going down the mountain in the cable car, we were now heading to a nearby bus station. Aso-senpai, who’d accomplished the underdog victory in asking Hoshibe-senpai out, was now clinging to him more than a cat would cling to you when it was in a good mood.

Hoshibe-senpai usually would brush her off, but he was now simply teasing her for her femme fatale act. Perhaps not being used to being on the receiving end, Aso-san seemed unsure what to do.

Kawanami-kun and Minami-san were also now talking to each other like nothing had happened despite having avoided each other not too long ago. Though they weren’t as blatant with their flirting as Aso-san and Hoshibe-senpai, the way they were talking to each other and rubbing against one another was obviously much less reserved than they’d been before.

It seemed that there were no problems between Irido-san, Higashira-san, and Mizuto Irido either. As Higashira-san and Mizuto Irido chatted with each other, Irido-san was trying to put on a brave face and join their conversation. I wasn’t sure what happened, but although she still seemed a little hesitant, Irido-san had brushed off whatever had been hanging over her.

I watched all of them from my spot at the very back of the group. Over the past three days, they’d each had their own drama. I hadn’t involved myself in any of it, though. I didn’t think I had any need to. I was fine simply watching them from the background.

I think that’s my role. That’s the job that was bestowed upon me by a higher power. Being in the background wasn’t frightening. I truly felt that it was comfortable.

“Joe.” Despite that, the person who the spotlight shone on the most—the main character—called out to me in the background. “Thoughts on the trip?”

“Not bad. It more or less ended peacefully.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Aisa and President Hoshibe finally got together too.”

Kurenai-san smiled with satisfaction as she lined up next to me. After all, she’d been the one to support Aso-san the most.

“There’s finally a couple in my student council. It’s a strange feeling. Having someone with a boyfriend so close to me is great, but also enviable.”

“Wait. You’re envious?”

“Of course.” Kurenai-san looked up at me and began giggling cryptically. “I’d love to have a cute boyfriend in the very near future.”

“Are you imitating Aso-san? That femme fatale act doesn’t suit you, you know?”

“Are you not envious at all?”

“I...haven’t thought about wanting a girlfriend at all.”

If someone chose me, it’d mean that I wouldn’t be a background character anymore. I wasn’t like Aso-san—if anything, I was the exact opposite. I didn’t want anyone looking at me. I wanted to stay as the person who watched, not one that was watched. I was okay staying as an observer, a rubbernecker, someone who lacked individuality.

“I want to stay in the background,” I continued.

It was there that I could truly be useful to others. Push all the annoying things onto me. Leave all the trifling miscellaneous tasks to me. That way, everyone could focus on the things that only they could do. They should just use me like a stagehand who disappears into the shadows on the stage. That’s the only value I had to everyone.

“I see.” She smiled, saying those two words, understanding everything I was trying to say. She’s perceptive as usual. “Then, how about this...?” Suddenly, something soft touched my cheek.

“Huh?”

As soon as I turned around, Kurenai-san retracted her hand. Then she put her finger in front of her pink lips.

“Shh,” she whispered, grinning. “If you refuse to leave the background, then I’ll just have to come back here with you.”

I stood there, stunned, as she left me with those words before moving back to the front of the stage where everyone was. I continued lightly touching my cheek where the sensation she’d left still lingered, continuing to look at her back from the background.

That’s... That’s not... You’re a person who shines more than anyone, so why? You’re the person I want to watch the most, so why? I fell silent. Urgh, dammit. For a split second, that made me happy. I began sinking into a creepy, improper fantasy in which the actress, who had the spotlight on her, smiled at the stagehand in the dark.

Seriously. Stop. You can become anyone you want to. Don’t become a nobody just for my sake. Don’t show me such a nice dream.

Life Goal

Mizuto Irido

On the train ride home, Isana’s eyes were glued to her tablet. I wasn’t sure if the stylus was too annoying for her to use or not, but she was using her finger to select different paint tools and draw. I tried not to look at what she was working on since it was kinda rude, but my curiosity got the better of me, and I watched for the moment her hands stopped moving to talk to her.

“What’re you drawing?”

“Just a rough sketch.”

Isana rotated the tablet and tilted her head before using her fingers to edit something.

“Getting the hang of drawing backgrounds?”

“Oh, I’m not working on a background.”

“You’re not?”

Didn’t I bring you on this trip because you said you wanted to get better at drawing backgrounds?

“I took a fair number of pictures, so I can practice backgrounds as much as I want whenever I feel so inclined to. However, right now, there’s something else I want to draw...”

“What is it?”

“Would you like to see? I’m more or less done with it.”

“If you’re really okay, then yeah. I’m interested.”

She offered the tablet to me. I wondered what could’ve been so inspiring that she didn’t want to work on backgrounds. As soon as I laid eyes on her drawing, I immediately regretted not being more excited to see it. A chill ran up my spine.

I wasn’t an expert on art, especially sketches. I had no clue what made them good or bad...or at least in most cases. It was clear as day that she’d gotten better. No, it wasn’t that she’d gotten better—her style had changed. It was as if her entire approach to drawing had changed. This drawing had a soul.

This had nothing to do with spiritualism or a gut feeling. I was being realistic. Though this was just a rough sketch of some beautiful girl, she felt alive. It really felt like behind this thin screen, she existed. Comparing this to Isana’s past drawings made it clear what separated this one from the rest. It was the expression.

Up until now, she’d typically drawn stereotypical smiles for each of the beautiful girl characters she depicted. There’d been no soul to any of them. It’d been as if she’d simply put a smile on them because she thought it was cute. That’d been the entirety of the thought behind her decision. But the expression in this sketch was different.

The area around the girl’s eyes seemed sunken and contorted with frustration. Her eyes welled with tears, and her fist was clenched—but she was still forcing a smile. The sketch was a side profile. Her clothes fluttered in the wind. The tips of her hair were messy from being blown around. Nothing about this picture had to be explained. It spoke to me. This was a scene in which her heart had been broken.

“Th-This...” I stammered.

“After watching Aso-senpai cry her heart out, this popped into my head! I began thinking about how nice this might be to draw as well! What do you think? Does it not tug at your heartstrings?”

She hadn’t merely leveled up her skills. After reading a lot of light novels, I could confidently say that I’d rarely ever seen any illustrations with drawings as expressive as this. All she needed was to watch someone have their heart broken to have this pop into her head? That’s all it took for her to realize where her talents lie?

I couldn’t help but shiver, not just physically, but mentally as well. This shook me to my core. I’d experienced something similar in the past. It was when I first read The Siberian Dancer Girl in my great-grandfather’s study.

Through his words, it’d felt as if I’d physically experienced his life. What I was feeling now was the same as that—no, I felt even more moved. Somehow, Isana Higashira made me incredibly emotional.

Yeah, I can’t lie to myself anymore. I could feel that I wanted to know more about her life. I wanted to be closer to her than anyone and be the first person in the world to read the book titled Isana Higashira.

It felt like my future with all its vast possibilities had been narrowed down. Once someone is moved by another’s talent, they naturally want to help nurture it. I honestly felt like I wouldn’t mind devoting my entire life to doing that.

A Little Bit of Courage and a Lot of Desire

Yume Irido

“Well then, everyone, thanks for the awesome trip! See you all back at school!” Aso-senpai said, grinning from ear to ear as she waved at us while walking away with Hoshibe-senpai.

I’m seriously so happy for her. I wasn’t sure why I felt this way now, but my chest felt tight as I watched her. She’d made up her mind, mustered up all her courage, and kept going even though she’d been turned down once. So...what about me? Could I do the same thing as Aso-senpai? Could I face my fears and tell him how I felt?

To be honest, I thought it might be okay if things didn’t change. After all, we weren’t just a guy and a girl. We lived together. We were stepsiblings. I couldn’t be so reckless and confess to him. We weren’t like our other normal classmates. Even if we got back together, we might break up again. And if we did, it wouldn’t be pretty.

I couldn’t stay ignorant. I couldn’t be reckless either. I needed to be realistic. If we’d just been stepsiblings, then maybe we would’ve let our emotions control us. Our middle school past had grounded me in reality, whether I wanted it to or not.

Couples break up sooner or later. The only people who don’t need to think about what happens after they break up are those who started off as strangers.

I didn’t have enough determination to do anything about these accelerated feelings of mine, so all I could do was ignore them. I didn’t have to force myself to try and date him. If anything, our current relationship was best. In fact, it was completely possible that we could keep going on as just siblings with nothing changed between us.

I knew that a thought like that had been somewhere in my head. Even so, I couldn’t help but think about how the crush I’d been yearning for might bear fruit. How all these years of feelings would be rewarded. I couldn’t lie to myself. I found myself thinking about how happy I’d be walking side by side with the person I loved, just like Aso-senpai.

I was envious. I wanted to be like her too. Everything was definitely in place for me to do that. Aso-senpai had ended up teaching me that if I was serious, I’d get seriousness in return. As long as I was courageous, there was happiness to be gained.

I felt like a fire had been lit within me, which spread like wildfire across me. The fire’s name was courage, and the wildfire’s was desire. My small courage reached out towards my huge desires.

“We’re home!” I opened our front door and directed my voice towards the living room.

Since the light was on, I was sure that mom and Mineaki-ojisan were there. I wonder if they were able to spend these three days like a proper married couple without us around. Though Mizuto had come home at the same time, he hadn’t said anything, and instead went right upstairs. You’ve been gone for three days, you know? What a cold guy. I made a mental reminder to give him a stern talking-to.

That being said, I’d make sure not to be too naggy about it. I wouldn’t want things to be awkward when I asked him out. Oh, right. My mind’s made up. I’m asking him out. I even gave myself a time limit—I had until the end of the year.

Until then, I’d use every method at my disposal to make him fall in love with me. If by doing that he ended up asking me out instead, that’d be perfect. Once next year started, we’d return to being in a relationship.

If we didn’t, then I’d take a page out of Higashira-san’s book and go back to being plain old stepsiblings. Of course, I didn’t want to imagine that future, but I needed a plan just in case it did come about. In this last one month and change of the year, I needed to figure out how I was going to ask him out, and—

“Welcome back, Yume.” Mom came out of the living room to greet me.

But for some reason, she seemed a little down or...conflicted?

“What’s wrong, mom? Did...Good Couple’s Day not work out?”

“No, it was great. Thanks, Yume. I really appreciate your consideration towards us. It’s just that...I got a call today.”

“A call?”

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell you or not, but...after confiding with Mine-kun, he told me I should. He’s such a softie,” she lightly smiled.

I was slightly distracted by how lovey-dovey she was getting but not enough to deviate from the call that she’d brought up. What kind of call could she have gotten that would have anything to do with me?

“So,” mom reluctantly started, “your dad wants to meet you...and Mizuto-kun.”