Chapter 126: The Shape of Man
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In the empty and quiet music classroom, Kaworu Nagisa sat relaxed with his back against the piano. Ade moved a chair to sit opposite him, and C.C. stood beside him in nervous silence. A certain state of mind called curiosity made him anxious to talk to the other party.
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"Don't you realize how contradictory your consciousness is?" Kaworu Nagisa looked at Ade compassionately, "You obviously awakened as a NewType, eager to break the wall of the mind, yet inside you stubbornly reject everything, wanting to maintain absolute physical and spiritual independence. This incestuous, half-assed obsession is like—"
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"It's as if my existence itself." Ade replied calmly, "Neither Lilin nor an alien, but something in between, something like a Paramecium."
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C.C. couldn't help but reach out a hand to hold his shoulders. Ade looked up to give her a reassuring smile.
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"So you're self-aware, and not caught in the logical trap of self-awareness." Kaworu Nagisa smiled self-deprecatingly, "Slightly envious of you, I don't understand what I really count as for now. I thought we would be similar, but it seems that's not the case."
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"We're not enemies?" Ade asked curiously.
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"My destiny is to continue living until I find Adam. Perhaps the human race will perish, but that is only their destiny." Kaworu Nagisa looked at Ade with pleasure, "Even if a second impact occurs, it will have no effect on you and the fake around you. I don't see the need for us to become enemies, which is probably your destiny."
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Hearing the word "fake", C.C.'s fingers clenched so hard that they caused a vague pain in Ade's shoulders. He helplessly relaxed his body and gently patted the white and slender hand on his shoulder.
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"My fate stems from my choices." Ade shook his head with a firm gaze, "Not from some destiny."
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"Free will and emotion are among the most important themes of expression in classical music, which is why I love them so much." On a whim, Kaworu Nagisa held out his hand to Ade in an inviting gesture, "Want to learn to play the piano?"
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C.C. pressed Ade hard to keep him from standing up, as if he would run away if she did not do it. He looked up and smiled at C.C., gesturing for her not to be nervous, "I quite wanted to learn when I was in school, but that was only because I thought it was cool. When I think about it, I still prefer listening and have little interest in playing."
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"So that's how it is." Kaworu Nagisa withdrew his outstretched hand and nodded slightly as if he understood something, "Both eager to communicate with others and reluctant to express yourself, so it's obvious that you're a NewType, yet you have such a Geass."
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Ade had an uncomfortable feeling of being seen through all over his body.
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"You are really like…" Kaworu Nagisa frowned as if trying to find a suitable metaphor to describe him, and only after a long time did he spit out this word, "A human. "
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Such an eerie atmosphere made Ade uncomfortable all over. He tried to change the subject, "Did you come out too early? I heard that angels should debut one by one in order?"
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"I'm the first angel, what's wrong with being the first to appear?" Kaworu Nagisa smiled lightly, "Besides, my birth itself is some kind of banter arrangement, even if I appear early, it's for the sake of better show effect."
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Ade pricked up his ears and listened carefully, afraid to miss a key word. But the other party did not continue, which made him hesitate whether to pursue what your birth is exactly.
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"Wait, show effect?" He keenly noted a keyword, "Is anyone watching?"
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"The audience is supposed to be part of the show, and the actors are just audience members standing on the stage. Does it matter who is watching?" Kaworu Nagisa lifted his head to look out the window. His gaze cast through the thick clouds to the infinite universe, "What matters is that none of us are free, have no means to be free, and have no hope of being free."
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"You know?!" Ade felt the spirit in his consciousness that resembled NT and did not resemble NT. He could not help but stretch out a finger and point to the sky, "Then there is still a need to fight with humans to the death?"
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"This is my destiny, perhaps it will also be yours." Kaworu smiled derisively at him, "Where else would you get so much pressure to be dissipated by huge sexual desires?"
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Ade was furious, "Bullshit!"
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Kaworu Nagisa smiled indifferently, stood up and walked over to Ade, reached down to hold his other shoulder, leaned down, and whispered softly in his ear, "Anyway, I'm glad to see you, and may you find your way to freedom."
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After saying this, he gently patted Ade's shoulder, and without looking back, he got up and walked towards the door. After a short while, only Ade and C.C. were left in the empty music classroom.
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C.C. felt like she was in a cold sweat and desperately needed a shower and a change of clothes. She settled down and asked, in a slight trance, "What the hell is he doing here?"
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"To see me." Ade replied affirmatively, "Because he himself doesn't know what he's up to."
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"I didn't understand what he was saying." C.C. looked at him suspiciously, "Did you understand?"
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Ade took a deep breath and nodded solemnly, "In a sense, his existence itself is probably a lot like mine, which is why he came to me for answers. Unfortunately, my answer is only mine and there is no way to give it to him."
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C.C. still didn't understand, but instead of continuing to dwell on the question, she thought of something more important, "As you heard, I am a fake."
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"A fake of what?" Ade gently took her hand and gestured for her to sit on his lap, "Angel's?"
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"Hmm." C.C. obediently sat down with a little upset on her face, "I don't have all the memories from before, and Lilith would never talk to me about the details, only occasionally calling me Crystal, like you did before. Maybe I probably wasn't human, maybe I was some kind of artificial, or natural monster, or something."
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"And what does that have to do with it?" Ade wrapped his arms around her, "You are what you are."
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"Doesn't that make you sick?" C.C. lowered her eyes in pain, "It's this unknown thing that's skin to skin with you, maybe it's not even organic."
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"I don't mind. After all, you're so cute!"
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"You…" C.C. hesitated for a while, finally laughed, and shook her head, followed by a wary expression, "He said you and I make love all to relieve stress? Then what am I to you? A toy?"
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