Chapter 7 - White Day
Amane was always diligent with his studies and serious about his lessons, so he completed his final exams without any particular difficulty.
Going over his tests with Mahiru, he found that he’d gotten the same grades as usual. He always did well enough at school and never had to worry about being held back a grade or anything like that.
Itsuki also got fairly good scores, and even Chitose had apparently done well enough to avoid a failing mark, so the people Amane was closest to were in no danger of repeating a year, either.
All that was left was the graduation ceremony to send off the third-year students, which didn’t have much to do with them, and after that, to wait for the closing ceremony. Between the two ceremonies, however, was one very important date.
“…What do I give her?”
The day was fast approaching for all those who had prevailed on Valentine’s Day to repay their gifts. Both Mahiru and Chitose had given Amane chocolates, so naturally he was planning to give them each something in return. The only problem was that he had no idea what to give Mahiru.
Chitose’s gift was easy enough—he planned to combine a White Day cake from the store where she had purchased their Christmas cake with a sundry of merchandise based on the characters she liked.
He was sure that someone like Chitose, who was more interested in sweets than sweethearts, would appreciate that. It was an obvious choice.
But Mahiru remained a dilemma.
Amane was sure that Mahiru would graciously accept anything he got her—the thought mattered more to her than the actual gift. But he wanted to pick out something that would make her really happy. The trouble was that he honestly didn’t know much about the kinds of things she liked. He knew she had a taste for sweets and liked cute stuff like most other girls, but beyond that, he was lost. Mahiru was not an easy person to shop for.
Amane remembered her telling him that she wanted a new whetstone, but that didn’t seem like a particularly charming gift, and he couldn’t really afford something like that anyway. And for this occasion, it seemed more appropriate to give her something she would enjoy, rather than something practical.
Amane started his search by looking over the White Day display at a nearby department store, but he couldn’t picture Mahiru being truly happy with any of the things there. Amane was hoping for a reaction like he’d gotten when he’d given her the stuffed bear.
Of course, it would be boring to give her a stuffed animal a second time.
There were many adorable stuffed animals on display, but Amane decided that a repeat gift lacked originality.
On the other hand, when he tried to imagine what would impress her, Amane’s poor imagination could only come up with cosmetics or fashion accessories.
But he knew less than nothing about cosmetics, and he wasn’t sure whether they had the kind of relationship where he could confidently pick out fashionable things for her. He didn’t think she would interpret it as anything strange, but he wasn’t sure it would really impress her, either.
Amane thought that their relationship was pretty good, and if he were Itsuki and she were Chitose, an accessory would be an obvious choice, but Amane just didn’t think it was the right move here.
Racked with worry, Amane lingered restlessly by the gifts corner. He imagined that he must look awfully suspicious. Even though he had taken the precaution of dressing up to go out, he thought that a single guy hanging around the cute goods had to seem shady.
He was grumbling to himself about his options, when from behind him a voice asked, “Are you looking for anything in particular?”
When Amane turned around, there was a young woman in a store apron standing there smiling. She had probably noticed his distress as he helplessly wandered the aisles.
“Ah, um… I’m not sure what to get for a White Day present.”
“So nothing in the display jumps out at you? Well, there are some things in our regular stock that are also popular White Day gifts. Let me show you.”
“Ah, no, that’s not exactly it… You see, our relationship is rather hard to define, and I’m not sure what I can get her that won’t be…too much.”
“Meaning what?”
“Well, she’s not my girlfriend, but we are pretty close, so…this is just an example, but I’m wondering whether she would be happy to get an accessory or something from a guy she doesn’t like…that way.”
As Amane explained his predicament, the store clerk let a little giggle slip out. She seemed to find his dilemma quite charming.
“I’ve seen a lot of gentlemen come through here with the same sort of worries.”
“So what did they end up doing?”
“They were all worried, too, but most of them decided to buy something. If you’re close to this girl, she’ll probably appreciate anything you give her.”
Amane felt relieved to hear someone else say that, though of course the prospect of picking an accessory for Mahiru was still fairly daunting.
She was very particular about her attire, and the bits and pieces he had seen her wearing before had all been quite elegant. Amane had no confidence that he could select something that would meet the standards of such a sophisticated young woman.
“Sir, would you like me to show you some of the items in the corner over there that are popular with our female customers?”
“…Yes, please,” Amane said gratefully, straightening up a little.
“And so you bought something?”
When Amane told Itsuki about his shopping trip, his friend looked at him and laughed pretty much the same way the clerk had the day before.
The two of them were eating lunch together in the cafeteria, and when the topic of White Day came up, Amane had spilled the beans.
“Geez, keep it down!” Amane insisted. “Anyway, I was worried that giving her an accessory might weird her out, since we’re not dating.”
“You’re such a coward! A man should have more nerve, more spirit! And anyway, I have a feeling that she’ll be happy with anything as long as it comes from you, ya know?”
“…I guess so, but…”
Mahiru was the kind of girl who would graciously accept any gift, but Amane wanted to give her a present that she would genuinely enjoy and want to use, so he had been stressing out trying to choose something good.
“So what did you end up buying?”
“…A rose-gold bracelet with a flower pattern.”
He had thought that the soft warmth of the rose gold would suit her better than cool-looking silver or extravagant yellow gold. Of course, he was just in high school, so he couldn’t afford real precious metals, so it was only gold-plated, but he had been careful to select a design that seemed to suit Mahiru’s style.
“Really? That seems like exactly the kind of thing she’ll like, man.”
“…She won’t be weirded out?”
“No way; you’re worrying too much. Why are you always so negative about this stuff…?”
“She’s the only girl I’ve ever seriously thought about giving a present to.”
His mother didn’t count, and he wasn’t thinking of Chitose, either. And anyway, he’d only gotten Chitose a confection that he already knew she liked, so that present felt like it was on a different level.
“You really don’t have any confidence with this stuff, huh…?”
“And why should I? I mean…it’s Mahiru!”
“She was happy with the teddy bear, right?”
“Well, that’s true, but—”
“Amane, it’s all about feeling, man, feeling. You’ve already spent the cash and chosen the gift, so all that’s left now is to put some emotion behind it.” Itsuki made it sound so simple.
“If it was that easy,” Amane grumbled, “I wouldn’t have any problem.” He pressed a hand to his forehead.
It seemed he would be plagued with doubt over his decision until White Day.
When the fateful day arrived, Amane was waiting for Mahiru in his apartment, wearing an unusually nervous expression. The mood at school had reminded him of Valentine’s Day. The boys who had come out on top a month earlier were anxious about giving their return gifts, and the girls were waiting with barely contained anticipation.
Incidentally, Yuuta had faithfully returned each and every gift, repaying each one with an identical box of sweets. Amane’s eyes glazed over when he considered that even doing the very minimum must have cost Yuuta tens of thousands of yen.
In any case, there was no way that Amane would have given Mahiru his present at school, so now he waited for her to arrive at his apartment.
He had rushed home from school to compose himself, but try as he might, he was just not used to giving gifts. His nerves were threatening to get the better of him.
Just this once, he wasn’t wearing his usual sweatpants and T-shirt, but rather a layered outfit with a gray V-neck sweater over a white shirt, paired with chino pants. He’d tried to look a little less sloppy than usual, but he wasn’t entirely sure how his new look would be received.
Amane was still struggling to get ahold of himself when he heard the sound of the front door unlocking. He sat bolt upright, startled.
It was Mahiru, using her duplicate key, as usual. When she came into the living room, she looked at Amane and froze.
“Ah, wh-why is your hair like that?”
“Well, uh, it is White Day, ya know, and I wanted to dress up a little, so I thought I had better try to clean up my act today… If you don’t like it, I can go fix it, though.”
He’d obviously succeeded in surprising Mahiru, and she didn’t seem to be taking it too well—but when he stood up, she waved a hand in front of her face.
“Th-that’s not what I meant. I was just surprised, is all.”
“I see.”
Amane could tell that something was up with Mahiru. He was starting to think he should have stuck to his usual getup.
Mahiru was fidgeting as she took a seat beside him.
“…You still look uncomfortable. Should I go change?”
“N-no, it’s fine, it’s just… It’s a lot.”
“What do you mean?”
“W-well, you’re always so low-key. I feel like I can relax around you. But…when you’re all done up like that, it makes it hard to stay calm.”
“In that case, I’ll take it off.”
Mahiru grasped his sleeve tightly. “…I said it’s fine.”
When she looked up at him with dewy eyes and flushed cheeks, Amane felt his heart leap in his chest. He knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose, but she was really making it hard for him to maintain his composure. It didn’t help that she was close enough that he could smell her sweet perfume.
Amane was incredibly aware of the way she was fidgeting restlessly and how tightly she was holding on to him. Now both of them were blushing, and it made the situation even more uncomfortable.
Amane’s eyes darted restlessly around the room. “Well, uh, okay,” he stammered. Then, in an effort to move past the awkward moment, he gracelessly thrust a paper bag toward Mahiru. “Here. It’s your gift. Don’t expect too much.”
“…Thank you. May I open it?”
“Okay.”
It would be embarrassing for her to open it right in front of him, but he wasn’t going to say no. Amane had purchased a small box lined with velvet to hold the bracelet, but now he worried that it was too much for the gift he’d chosen.
Mahiru’s slender white fingers gently opened the dark-blue box. Inside was the rose gold bracelet he had purchased the other day, as well as some folded paper he had included as a bonus.
Mahiru didn’t seem to be into gaudy accessories, so he had emphasized elegance and simplicity when choosing the flower bracelet.
Here and there it was decorated with sparkling glass crystals that caught the light and glittered. The design was both cute and refined.
Mahiru’s caramel-colored eyes gazed for a long time at the brilliance of the rose-gold bracelet in the box.
“You don’t like it…?”
“No, I think it’s lovely.”
“That’s a relief. I picked that because I thought it would look good on you.”
“…Thank you very much.”
Mahiru’s eyes were downcast, as though she was embarrassed by what he had said. Watching her, Amane felt his breath catch in his throat.
“…And this is?” Mahiru asked, noticing the paper he had included in the box.
Amane wanted to look away, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Mahiru.
“Ah, that?” Amane scratched his cheek in embarrassment. “Well, um, I kinda thought the bracelet wasn’t enough somehow, so… You’re always taking care of me, and um, I want to be able to grant any requests you might have, so…”
The paper he had put in the box as a bonus gift was a booklet of I’ll do anything you say tickets, like the kind a small child might make. The bunch of tickets was good for three uses and featured a hand-drawn illustration of a bear. Amane thought it had turned out rather well, given his skills anyway.
Since Mahiru was always looking after him, he wanted to do what he could to help her out whenever she might need it.
That was the idea behind the coupons anyway, but Mahiru seemed more focused on the illustrated bear. Her shoulders trembled with laughter.
“Pfft-ha-ha, did you draw this yourself, Amane?”
“Oh hush,” Amane said sullenly. “I’m no artist. So what?”
“No, I think it’s great. You chose it for a reason.” Mahiru’s innocent smile made it obvious that she hadn’t really meant to criticize. “…So can I use them right away?”
“On what?”
Amane hadn’t expected her to want to exercise her privilege so suddenly, but if Mahiru had a favor that she wanted to ask of him, he intended to grant her request to the very best of his ability.
Mahiru gently turned the box containing the bracelet around to face him. “…Amane, please help me put this on.”
“Oh, come on, you don’t need a ticket to ask me that,” he said with a troubled smile as he listened to her modest request. “Now, if the lady would allow me to assist…”
Mahiru held out the box, and his expression softened when he saw how cute she looked. After he took the box from her, he set it down on his knees and removed the bracelet, noting the smooth sound of the delicate chain sliding across the velvet. Gingerly, he opened the clasp and gently wound the chain around her wrist. Finally, he carefully fastened it back together. The warm rose gold sparkled on Mahiru’s delicate wrist.
I was right, this color does suit Mahiru’s light skin.
Since hers was a refined sort of beauty, Amane had guessed that something conservative and elegant would suit her better than something flashy, and he felt a surge of pride when he realized that he had made the correct selection.
“Yeah, that looks good.”
“…Thank you.”
Thinking it wouldn’t do to hold on to her for too long, he let go of her hand, and Mahiru brought the arm bearing the bracelet up to her chest, holding it gently, and smiled softly.
That sweet, unabashed smile, the soft shape of Mahiru’s lips, the slight flush on her innocent cheeks… It was both childish and womanly, guileless and refined. Amane found he couldn’t turn away from her, no matter how hard he tried.
…This is too much…
Knowing that he was the reason for Mahiru’s smile was almost more than he could stand. Amane tried to tear his eyes away and bring his soaring heart back down to earth, but in the end, he kept staring at her until she noticed and hid her face in a cushion.
“So how was White Day?”
The following day Itsuki asked him for a report. Amane did his best to give him a humorless scowl.
Itsuki had been considerate enough not to ask while they were in school, but on the way home, they stopped at a fast-food joint, and the moment they sat down, he began digging for details with a grin.
Amane had only come to eat some fries because he was craving something salty.
Now he thought it probably would have been better not to come if he was going to have to put up with this kind of questioning.
“What’s there to tell…? I just gave her the bracelet like normal.”
“And was she happy to get it?”
“…More or less,” Amane answered in the calmest voice he could muster.
True, he hadn’t gotten quite the reaction he’d been expecting, but judging by her earnest smile, he was sure she’d been happy with the gift.
Amane felt a little uncomfortable just recalling that sweet, beautiful smile. He tried to suppress the warmth creeping onto his face.
“Sure, sure.” Itsuki folded his arms and nodded knowingly. “I can tell from your reaction that it went over really well. She was definitely happy to get the gift, and she smiled at you really cute-like, right?”
“I mean—” Amane bit his lip.
“Look, man. You’re building a solid connection, right?”
Rather than teasing him, Itsuki was speaking earnestly and in a serious tone. Itsuki never intruded in certain areas that, as Amane’s best friend, he knew better than to touch. But aside from those topics, he had an uncanny knack for pointing out the truth, so much that it was sometimes uncomfortable. Amane had no recourse—Itsuki’s relationship was too well established to make good conversation material at this point, so changing the subject was near impossible.
Amane choked on his words, and Itsuki smiled at him calmly. The somewhat warm look in his eyes irritated Amane.
Seeing there was no use fighting back, Amane snatched a french fry and stubbornly looked away.
Itsuki smiled teasingly at his friend. “I’m happy for you, man. Finally, my little Amane is starting the springtime of his youth!”
“That’s not what’s happening.”
“But you don’t know for sure how she feels about it, right?”
“…Even so, I’m sure it’s not like that.”
Certainly, he knew from firsthand experience that Mahiru trusted him deeply. He wanted to be the person she trusted the most, in fact, and out of everyone she knew in school, he believed that she was the most honest with him.
But that didn’t mean they were in love or anything.
Sure, sometimes when they touched, it felt a little…intense. But that wasn’t uncommon with opposite-sex friendships. And okay, Mahiru did do a lot for him, but he was sure that didn’t mean she had romantic feelings for him.
And yes, recently Amane had been spending a little more effort on his appearance. But he was still the same hopeless loser he’d always been. There was no way that a girl like Mahiru would fall for a guy like him.
“You know, Amane, you can be pretty pathetic sometimes. Seriously, you’re the kind of guy who acts like nobody will ever love him.”
“You really think that all it takes for a guy like me to get an amazing girlfriend is a little hard work? I’d have better luck waiting on a miracle…”
“If all the beautiful girls were snapped up by only the most handsome, charming young men of the world, the guys who missed out might go down a violent path, you know.”
Amane wasn’t sure Itsuki had a right to comment, as a member of the former group.
Itsuki continued, “Anyway, if you insist, we’ll leave it at that for now… More importantly, it’s time for me to make a prediction as your best friend.”
“About what?”
“Sooner or later, you’re gonna change. I can already see the telltale signs. All that’s left is for you to take the first steps toward your new future.”
“…Don’t talk like some kind of know-it-all guru,” Amane said with a scowl.
“Ha-ha-ha! How long have we been friends?”
“It hasn’t even been a year,” Amane quipped coolly.
“Oh yeah, that’s right!” Itsuki roared with laughter.
The two of them had only known each other since the start of high school, but Itsuki understood Amane much better than the guys he’d known in elementary and middle school back home. He was glad that the two of them got along so easily.
“Anyway—,” Itsuki continued.
“Hmm?”
“You keep going on and on about how you’re not worthy of her, but your attitude and the way you talk about her just proves that you actually do like her.”
“I will stick this french fry right up your nose,” Amane threatened.
“Sorry,” Itsuki instantly apologized.
Amane came very close to actually being impressed by what his friend had to say only for Itsuki to ruin it right at the end with a ridiculous comment.
“You’re late today.”
When Amane returned home about an hour later than usual, Mahiru came out to greet him in her apron. After his earlier conversation with Itsuki, Amane couldn’t help but think that she looked like a newlywed. He told himself that he didn’t feel that way about her, so it wasn’t fair to indulge in that delusion, and he drove the thought from his mind in a bit of a panic.
“Mm, I had fries with Itsuki.”
“…Right before dinner?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll finish my plate.”
He had a second stomach for Mahiru’s cooking, and he had been conservative and only had a small order of fries anyway, so he had plenty of room for his meal, even if Mahiru dished up his usual serving size.
“For a second, I worried about you gaining weight…,” Mahiru mused. “But you’re so slim that you could probably stand to put on a little bit more meat.”
“You’re one to talk. I’m always worried you might snap in half one day.”
“I’m not that fragile, you know.”
“Oh really? Look at how thin you are.”
Mahiru had a very slender and feminine physique. Of course, she did quite a few sports, so she wasn’t just thin, she was also toned and flexible. Still, she had a delicate look to her for some reason, and just as a test, he reached out and grabbed her wrist, easily wrapping his fingers all the way around. He remembered his father warning him to always treat a lady gently and with care.
She seemed so dainty and thin, he thought, as he moved his fingers along hers, feeling the delicate bones beneath her skin.
Mahiru squirmed uncomfortably. He saw she was staring at her hand in his, her cheeks slightly flushed, and realized much too late that he had been touching her without her permission.
In a panic, Amane released Mahiru’s hand.
“Sorry. I should’ve known you wouldn’t like that.”
“It’s… Well… I don’t hate it when you touch me.”
Amane stared at Mahiru in shock. He could barely believe his own ears. Mahiru also seemed to realize what exactly she had said and looked up suddenly, cheeks redder than he had ever seen them, eyes beginning to fill with tears. Amane felt like he couldn’t possibly bear the embarrassment a moment longer.
“Th-that doesn’t mean that I’m asking you to touch me or anything, all right?” Mahiru explained. “Just that I hate it when other guys touch me. You understand?”
“Y-yeah,” Amane said meekly.
However, his heart was still pounding wildly. The very particular phrasing she had used left an awful lot open to interpretation. He felt like he needed to change the subject.
“…Oh, um, I noticed…,” he mumbled, “you’re not wearing the bracelet I gave you yesterday. I mean, obviously you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want…”
Mahiru looked down at her wrist and with one finger softly traced the place where Amane had grasped her.
“…If I wear it when I’m doing housework, it gets in the way, and it’ll get damaged sooner… I want to keep it nice, so I’ll wear it on my days off.”
“…I see.”
Amane could not imagine a more perfect answer. She had told him both that she was going to treasure the gift and that she was intending to wear it regularly. His legs threatened to give out on the spot, and his chest felt like it might burst with all the feelings bubbling up inside him, and in the heat of the moment, he was sure there wasn’t a man alive who would have felt any different.
Somewhere in this dizzy state of mind, Amane realized how loudly his heart was thumping. He took several long, slow breaths to try to calm down.
“…As long as you like it, I’m happy.”
“I do, and I’m going to take good care of it. Like I do with all of them—the teddy bear, the key holder, and the bracelet. I’m going to use the hand cream without reservation, though.” Mahiru smiled slightly, looking embarrassed.
Amane could not take it a moment longer. He quickly kicked off his shoes and darted down the hallway.
“…I’m going to change clothes.”
“O-okay. See you when you get back, Amane.”
Even though he had come home to his own single apartment, Amane felt like he was being sent off by his new wife. His heart began to pound violently again, and he rushed into his bedroom and promptly collapsed on the floor.
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