Chapter 10 - The Angel's Gaze and Amane's Struggle
“Amane, pass it here!”
“But you’ve got terrible control!”
The school Sports Day was coming up next month, and the students were leisurely enjoying gym class.
Remembering the previous Sports Day, Amane knew once the teams were announced sometime next week, the whole school would start preparing for it, but for now, they were still having regular gym classes.
Listening to the echo of the basketball club’s squeaking shoes, Amane glared at Itsuki, who had thrown the ball sloppily into the wall as a joke, and chased after the ball as it rolled away.
They were playing basketball that day, and soon it would be time to practice their shots. It sounded like they were going to have a game during the second half of class. Amane wasn’t particularly good at basketball, but he didn’t mind tossing the ball into the hoop a bit.
As Amane chased the old, brown basketball rolling slowly away from the wall, he shot a quick glance across the net dividing the gym in two. On the other side, the girls’ class was playing badminton. The girls were supposed to have been outside, but due to a sudden downpour, everyone was having gym inside the divided gymnasium.
The girls also seemed to be playing leisurely, and from time to time, Amane would catch sight of one of them lightly batting the shuttlecock with their racket. He grabbed the ball and jogged back.
He was careful not to even look in Mahiru’s direction. He wanted to avoid any chance of anybody noticing and accusing him of having a crush on the angel.
He did like her, but he knew it would be troubling for her to hear those sorts of rumors. He also didn’t want to let any unfamiliar classmates know about it, so he kept it a secret.
“Stop throwing the ball off in weird directions,” Amane said. “It’ll be awkward if I have to go get it from the girls’ side.”
Itsuki grinned foolishly. “Come on, don’t be so sensitive.”
Amane threw the ball with a little force at his friend’s stomach, and Itsuki, who wasn’t particularly bad at sports, caught it without breaking his grin. With a long sigh, Amane got a new ball from the ball hamper.
The members of the sports clubs were always in high spirits during these sorts of gym classes. This time, it was the basketball club that was in their element, and they were especially lively.
Amane didn’t really like basketball, but he was surprisingly fond of shooting practice, so he had been throwing the ball at the basket all class, to show the gym teacher that he was taking it seriously.
He threw another ball. It arced through the air, rebounded off the backboard, and fell through the center of the basket. Amane retrieved it with a slight feeling of satisfaction.
“You’re good at this kind of thing,” Itsuki observed. “Though whenever a game starts up, you lose all your motivation, and then you’re useless. You should try harder.”
“Be quiet. You can’t expect someone who’s a natural-born introverted member of the ‘go-home club’ to put in a ton of effort in a basketball game. Obviously, the guys in the sports clubs are going to be the ones actually playing.”
“I guess so. Hey, I was just thinking, you ought to show that special someone how cool you can be from time to time.”
Amane knew exactly who Itsuki was referring to, but he wasn’t going to just nod obediently.
“I don’t need you to worry about that,” he said. “She already knows that I’m no good at sports and that I’m very uncool.”
“Why do you always have to turn it around like that?”
“You have to know by now that telling me to make an effort here is a losing proposition, right?”
Amane looked at Itsuki, who seemed disinterested in the outcome, with a sour expression, and was confronted with more cackling laughter.
“Come on now, this is your chance,” Itsuki urged.
“It is not. Why don’t you give it a try then, see how it goes?”
“Huh? No way, man. I’m not that good.”
“Well then, where do you get off telling me what to do?”
Amane grabbed Itsuki under the chin and squeezed his cheeks with his fingers, warning him not to casually demand things that he couldn’t do himself.
“Sorry, sorry!” As he was laughing it off, Itsuki looked over to the other side of the net. “But she is looking over here, though.”
“Huh?”
Amane followed Itsuki’s gaze and saw Mahiru, waiting her turn to play badminton, looking in his direction. Staring, to be more accurate. She was definitely staring at Amane.
She was probably just killing time by looking around, but Amane suddenly started feeling uncomfortable, now that he knew he was being watched. He pursed his lips awkwardly.
Itsuki mumbled, “Better try your best,” like he was glad it wasn’t his problem, and pulled Amane along with him after the gym teacher’s whistle sounded.
For the practice game in the second half, the class was divided into two teams, to play against two different teams from another class.
Amane and Itsuki were playing in the second round, so to avoid getting in the way of the rest of the players, they climbed up onto the stage at the end of the gym and took a seat.
The two of them were watching the imposing figure of Yuuta, who was on the team playing the first game. He was putting on a good show.
“How is Kadowaki keeping up against the actual basketball club…?”
Some of the players on the opposing team were in the basketball club, but Yuuta played well enough to put them on equal footing. Even though Yuuta was an experienced athlete, at the end of the day, he could not match them point for point. If it had just been a matter of speed, the track star might have had an advantage, but when it came to agility and handling, not to mention the coordination required to shoot the ball, the members of the basketball club were able to show off their specialized skills.
Amane had expected the basketball club would have an advantage and that his classmates would be entirely shut out, but Yuuta quickly disproved that prediction by continuing to score points.
“Well, Yuuta’s the product of an athletic family, after all,” Itsuki said. “He just chose the track club because he likes running, but he can play just about any sport at a high level.”
“How is he so strong?”
“Apparently, his mother was a sports trainer or something like that. I think he told me that his older sisters are going into related occupations, too.”
“So he’s the result of a gifted education.”
“Whoa! Watch Kadowaki, guys!”
“Block him, block him!”
“Don’t let him get anywhere!”
“Are we sure he doesn’t have some awful grudge against us?”
“If he finds a good opening, this is really gonna look bad for the basketball club!”
Amane was half-listening to the cries of the opposing team. He could also hear the girls cheering Yuuta on from across the partition.
They seemed to have started their own tournament of badminton on the other side of the gym, and the girls who weren’t actively playing had come up to the net to watch the game.
The other boys, as well, were understandably enthusiastic about Yuuta’s performance. Murmurs of admiration swept the crowd. For some reason, Itsuki slapped Amane on the back.
In the end, their class was victorious in the first game. Amane jumped down from the stage, marveling at his amazing friend.
Throwing on the team jersey he had been given, Amane stepped onto the court, not bothering to hide his expression of irritation, and accidentally made eye contact with Mahiru on the other side of the net.
She was wearing a faint smile, different from her usual gentle, angelic type. It was Mahiru’s real smile, the mellow one that she always showed him at home.
There was a tenderness to her gaze, as she waved her hand slightly and slowly mouthed “Do your best!” at him.
She didn’t say it out loud, but Amane imagined he could hear it, and it was too much for him. He couldn’t stand to look at her and turned away.
His mistake was turning to face Itsuki.
“Feeling fired up now?”
“Shut up,” Amane snapped back desperately. He felt completely transparent when he heard Itsuki laughing in an apparent effort to break the tension.
“…I’m gonna die…” Amane groaned, squatting down to catch his breath. He was playing basketball seriously for the first time in a long time and pouring all his energy into it.
His heart was pounding violently.
Even though he had recently started to exercise a little more, he hadn’t yet fully exerted himself like this and hadn’t ever done such a strenuous workout. Coupled with the match, Amane was extremely exhausted.
Amane coughed and slowly tried to get his breath back, but his heart was pounding away and showed no signs of calming down.
During the match, he had accidentally taken a dramatic fall, so his battered body ached and his breathing was ragged. He was having a really hard time.
Even though he had tried not to overdo it, clearly, he’d gotten carried away.
I feel like I looked really pathetic out there.
He’d fallen right in front of Mahiru. He felt depressed thinking about seeing her afterward in the classroom. Far from showing her how cool he could be, the only thing he’d shown off was how much of a loser he was.
“Amaneee, you okay?” Itsuki asked, crouching down next to his friend to take a look at him. He must have seen Amane squatting off to the side while the teams shook hands.
“…I’m fine, but I’m definitely gonna be sore tomorrow.”
“Ha-ha, that’s because you got a late start on exercising!”
Amane felt a quiet gratitude toward Itsuki, who was rubbing his sore back even as he teased him. He took several deep breaths, and his heart started to calm down.
His body was burning hot, and it hurt where he had hit the floor, but Amane didn’t regret playing this hard. He figured that pushing himself from time to time was a good thing, even if it wasn’t in his nature.
Amane sucked in one more big breath and decided to go cool off for a bit.
After gym class was over, Amane changed clothes and washed his face in the locker room.
Lunch period was next, and everyone else headed out as soon as they finished changing, complaining about being hungry, so Amane was left with a moment of silence.
He had planned to meet Itsuki and the others in the cafeteria, but he felt awkward about facing Mahiru at the moment, so he spent a long time trying to cool his face off with the water. He may have gotten carried away, soaking himself all the way up to his hair, but he was all damp with sweat anyway, and that was probably exactly what he needed to rinse it away.
I can’t believe I fell right in front of her.
Of all the places he could have fallen, he had done it dramatically, right where Mahiru was standing—he remembered her expression when it happened.
Amane was scowling when he heard quiet footsteps approach from behind.
“Are you all right?”
It was a familiar voice, but one he would rather not have heard now. Amane slowly stopped splashing his face and looked up.
He didn’t want her to see his pitiful expression, so he bit his lip and took a deep breath. Somehow resisting the urge to run away in shame, Amane combed back his wet, clinging hair and turned around.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, pretending to be calm. “You’re still hanging around here? Not eating lunch?”
He could see that for some reason, Mahiru seemed agitated.
“Oh, no, it’s just…you fell, so I was worried if you were okay… Akazawa told me you were here, so—”
“That Itsuki… You really don’t need to worry; I just banged myself up a little bit, that’s all.”
Mahiru was avoiding making eye contact as she spoke to him, and Amane got the feeling that her angel mask was about to peel off, though he wasn’t sure why. It was perplexing.
She had appeared upset when he’d taken his fall in front of her, but this seemed to be a different sort of agitation.
He tilted his head quizzically. “Shiina?”
“…No, it’s nothing, so don’t worry about it. Also, Fujimiya, that sort of behavior is against the rules, so please don’t do it again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Anyway, it’s not allowed.”
Once in a while, Mahiru would say something that Amane just didn’t understand, and this time, he was especially puzzled. Mahiru cleared her throat without answering his question, pulled herself together, and stared straight at Amane.
“…Earlier, you were protecting us, weren’t you?”
“You just happened to be standing there, that’s all. I would have taken the hit even if it hadn’t been you that was there.”
Earlier, in gym class, the girls had been poking their heads through the net that roughly divided the gymnasium, so that they could better cheer on the boys. A stray ball had flown perilously close to where the girls had been standing.
Amane had only fallen because he had just barely managed to block the ball that was flying toward the opening in the net.
Be that as it may, he wanted absolutely no thanks for it, and he would have been grateful, though bruised, if she had just let it go.
“It was nobody’s fault but my own, so you can laugh at me if you want.”
“That would be entirely impossible. I’m really grateful. But…that said, I wish you wouldn’t do such rash things.”
“I couldn’t help it.”
Amane looked away as he dried his face with a towel. When he finished, Mahiru was looking up at him with an exasperated expression.
“…You looked cool out there, but once we get home, let me take a good look at where you fell, okay Amane?”
She spoke in a quiet voice that only Amane, standing at this distance, could have heard. She sounded insistent, like she wasn’t going to let him get away without an examination. In response, Amane averted his eyes without agreeing and grumbled, “I’ll do no such thing.”
Despite his attempts at protesting, when they got home, Mahiru forcibly removed his shirt to tend to his injuries.
After she was done, Amane realized that Mahiru had coerced him into getting half naked. He blushed bright red and wasn’t able to make eye contact with her for a while.
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