Chapter 4 - Change of Circumstance Change of Attitude
“Say, Itsuki?”
“What is it, my friend?”
“…Would you say Mahiru has somehow gotten even more popular since we started dating?”
Amane muttered these words as he watched his girlfriend cheerfully talk with a cluster of classmates who had surrounded her in their classroom.
“Sure would,” Itsuki affirmed.
Several days had passed since Amane and Mahiru had started dating, and Mahiru’s popularity showed no signs of declining. It actually seemed to be increasing.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say Mahiru had always been the most popular person in their class, but now there were even more people hovering around her.
Amane was grateful that there seemed to be more girls than boys in the crowd, although he did have mixed feelings about the passionate looks the boys were giving her.
“Well, it’s pretty obvious why she’s more popular than ever,” Itsuki added.
“And why is that?”
“How do I put this…? Up to now, it was like she existed on the other side of a glass showcase, but now she seems more approachable somehow. I think it’s because their idol, the unattainable Miss Shiina, has shown that she’s actually just an ordinary girl by being with a guy like you, Amane.”
Sure enough, the nature of Mahiru’s smile had changed since she started dating Amane. Of course, she still had her angelic smile, but she had started to show her true face as well; she was frequently showing the innocent face of a girl her age.
It was happening gradually, but she was behaving less like the angel and showing more of her real self. That made Amane happy to see, but at the same time, he felt a little bit uneasy about having to share another secret.
He had asked her to do it, to show everyone that she was an ordinary girl, but now that it was happening, he felt depressed to see it and hated himself for his own inconsistency.
“How can I explain it? I really feel conflicted,” Amane said, “seeing her true self in public when it used to be something private and special. I know I ought to be happy about it, but somehow, I feel depressed. I think I’m being petty, even for me.”
“That’s your possessiveness materializing… But look, it’s not like the face she has on now is everything, right? I’m sure she has plenty of faces that she only shows to you.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
The look of embarrassment mixed with happiness that she made when he touched her, the discontented expression with both cheeks puffed out like little balloons when she was pouting, the soft, sweet smile she put on whenever he pampered her, like a sponge that had soaked up a load of honey—all these were faces she showed only to Amane.
“Besides, you’re the one who changed her. That smile exists because of you, so don’t lose your nerve now. ‘Look at how cute my Mahiru is!’—that’s how you should be acting.”
“…I can’t exactly call her ‘my Mahiru,’ but I’ll try not to get jealous.”
“What do you mean, you can’t say that she’s yours? After flirting like that in front of everyone?”
“Well, that was… We didn’t do it on purpose.”
“It would have been pretty bold if you had! And even if it wasn’t on purpose, it still shows just how much you like each other. Enough to make waves. Look around you, man!” Itsuki poked Amane in the forehead, and Amane pressed his lips together into a tight line.
Recently, for some reason, some of their classmates had taken to blushing or looking around restlessly whenever Amane and Mahiru were nearby. Even when they weren’t touching very much or talking about anything important, their presence made them blush. Amane did not understand.
He did receive a fair number of looks of jealousy, but more and more, the stares he was getting were lukewarm.
According to one male classmate, who had previously turned on him in jealousy, the fact that he and Mahiru were so close was making other people feel hopeless.
It was embarrassing to hear, even from outsiders, that Mahiru only had eyes for him, but it also made him a little happy.
“Well, I guess she’s also showing off that she’s her own person and not obsessed with you.”
“I’m not worth obsessing over. I don’t stand out as much as Mahiru, and I don’t want people to pay attention to me. I don’t know what to do when that happens.”
“…Well, you might not stand out, but you’re still a solid guy. I don’t need to talk about your academics, and you are a little sarcastic, but fundamentally, you’re a gentleman and the kind of honest guy who doesn’t turn his back on people. From the perspective of a girl who’s looking for some stability, I bet you look like a good catch.”
“It’s kinda…weird hearing you talk about me like that…”
“Okay, that’s a fifty-point penalty for bad-mouthing me. Now then, you never say what you’re thinking, so people assume you’re unsociable, but that’s just perception, and personality-wise, you are surprisingly straightforward.”
“A sure sign that I’m screwed up.”
Even though Amane had been sulking less and less, he was still convinced that he had a bad personality.
He felt like the compliments about being sincere and a good person would be better directed toward a straightforward, agreeable young man like Yuuta, rather than a guy like himself, who had a warped view of the world.
“In my opinion, you’re super easy to read and have an honest personality. Chi says the same thing, that you’re easy to understand.”
“You guys—”
“You go on and on about being screwed up or whatever, but you’re a straight shooter and a considerate guy, I think. You’re a little sarcastic, though.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
Amane turned away peevishly, and Itsuki laughed out loud and slapped his shoulder. Amane jabbed him back gently with his elbow and mumbled quietly, “Thanks, man.”
“You’ve gotten easier to talk to since you started dating Shiina, Fujimiya.”
It seemed Mahiru wasn’t the only one experiencing a change in her social life. Amane’s environment was changing, too.
Before getting together with Mahiru, Amane had rarely spoken to anyone other than his closest friends. Besides simple greetings or when it was required for schoolwork, not many people had ever gone out of their way to speak to him, either. But since he and Mahiru had started dating, people had begun to speak to him more frequently.
“…I have?”
Amane was helping out a female classmate who had gotten stuck with cleaning the classroom because the boy who was originally supposed to do it was absent. She was worried about being late to her part-time job.
He wasn’t sure how to reply to her sudden assertion, so he shrugged in response.
Mahiru had meant to help as well, but another girl had approached her to ask for some advice, and they were chatting in a corner of the classroom.
Mahiru was very caring that way, as she had always been, and as her boyfriend, he found it very charming, but he also thought it looked like a difficult thing to do.
As she smoothly wrote down the day’s events in the class log, the girl on duty for the day glanced over at Amane’s face while he finished tidying up the classroom and cleaning the blackboard, and she smiled.
“You’ve really changed, you know? Actually, before you had your makeover, you were difficult to approach. You gave off an aura that said ‘Don’t talk to me.’ I wondered if you might have some kind of social anxiety.”
“Sorry about that.”
“Ah-ha-ha, I don’t know what to do with that apology. It’s just part of your personality, so I wasn’t trying to criticize you, all right? I just figured that you’re the type to keep your friend circle small but tight-knit. That’s why I thought it was interesting you got along with Kadowaki. And now you’ve gone through an image change, and a few days have passed. You’re the same guy you’ve always been, but I can tell you’re just starting to become more social.”
“…You’re very observant, Kido.”
“Well, it’s just one of my hobbies, so…”
Amane was surprised that she had been paying quite a bit of attention to him. He didn’t know her that well, though she seemed a lot like Chitose, a person who was often at the center of things, lifting the mood with her bright smile. She was popular in a different way from Mahiru—and that summed up what he knew about this girl, Ayaka Kido.
Amane had never interacted with her before, so his impressions of her were based purely on observation, but apparently she had been watching him carefully, even though she had never directly talked with him until now.
“…Well, you noticed an awful lot, even though I kept myself shut away.”
“For Shiina’s sake?”
“No, not for her sake, but for my own.”
Mahiru had never wished for him to change, and he wasn’t going to claim she was responsible for his new behavior. The desire to change had come from Amane himself.
“It was thanks to Mahiru that I decided to change, but it wasn’t for her,” he explained. “I wanted to be by her side, so I stopped closing myself off; that’s all. I did everything for my own sake.”
Amane was confident that Mahiru would have liked him just the same even before he plucked up the courage to take these steps, but even so, he wanted to feel proud that he had made the decision to change for himself.
He felt that he wanted to put in the effort to better himself so he would be suitable enough to walk by Mahiru’s side. To put it into words, it was nothing more than his own self-satisfaction. It was Amane’s decision; it had not been something Mahiru had asked for. Amane asserted he had done it for himself.
Ayaka, who looked to have finished writing her log entry, was smiling happily. “Shiina sure is lucky, huh?”
“…How did we get on this topic?”
“Oh-hoh-hoh, it’s just what we were talking about!”
Amane felt like his cheek was about to start twitching. Ayaka was grinning cheerfully, but there wasn’t so much as a hint of teasing in her eyes, so he couldn’t get mad at her.
“Well, just from that, I can tell you’re devoted, mister. If you didn’t care for her, you wouldn’t try to change. I think it’s amazing you would work so hard for the person you love… Oh, you don’t like it worded that way, do you? That you would work hard to match her. That’s love, real love.”
“…It’s not a bad thing…right?”
“Oh no, it’s good, it’s good! I’m sure Shiina can also tell that you care about her a lot. Actually, she’s looking over here right now.”
When Amane glanced at the corner of the classroom at Ayaka’s urging, he saw Mahiru waiting there quietly, alone, apparently finished with her conversation. She was wearing a slightly anxious expression, probably because he was having a heartfelt talk with another girl.
“She’s looking right at you, huh?”
“She sure is.”
“Make sure she doesn’t misunderstand this, okay? I’ve got my own boyfriend, so I wasn’t trying to make her jealous or anything.”
Ayaka laughed, and at the same moment, almost as if it had been timed, a guy’s voice called for her from outside the classroom.
“Ayaka, you done yet? You’ll be late for work.”
“Sou? Wait up, I’ll just go turn this in!”
That reminded Amane that she had a part-time job to rush to, yet she hadn’t seemed to be in too much of a hurry. Not enough to prevent her from hanging around having a leisurely chat with the boy anyway.
He made eye contact with Ayaka, and she responded with a playful wink.
“Thanks for helping me out, Fujimiya. Um, as thanks…this is all I have, sorry. See ya!”
In one very swift motion, Ayaka pulled something out of her bag, placed it in the palm of Amane’s hand, turned, and trotted out of the classroom.
Thinking that the girl was like a passing storm, Amane looked down at the thing she’d handed him and saw it was a chocolate bar packed with protein puffs—the kind that Yuuta had suggested he ought to eat after working out.
“She didn’t need to thank me… And why did she choose this?”
Amane stared at the door that Ayaka had left through, wondering why she’d been carrying the bar around in the first place, and whether by offering it to him she’d meant to say that he was too thin and needed to put on more muscle. Meanwhile, Mahiru approached him.
She didn’t look upset, exactly, but she was making an expression like she had something to say.
“…You look like you really want to say something.”
“D-don’t take this to mean I don’t trust you, okay? But you looked like you were enjoying your conversation, so I was wondering what you were talking about…”
As one might expect, Mahiru seemed to be uneasy about her boyfriend talking to another girl.
Amane never had the intention of making Mahiru feel that way and had figured she would have recognized that it was just small talk even from the other side of the room, but if she had been worried about it, he thought he ought to apologize.
“Sorry for worrying you. She was just telling me how much I’ve changed. Even from Kido’s perspective, I must look really different.”
Naturally, Amane was embarrassed to tell her that he and Kido had discussed matters regarding love, so he intentionally omitted that from his explanation, but he was able to tell Mahiru the main thrust of their conversation.
He stroked her hair as he spoke slowly, and she seemed to calm down a little. Her troubled frown slowly softened into a smile. Recently, Amane had figured out that Mahiru liked it when they touched.
“Well, she’s right. When it comes to appearance, you’ve turned into a handsome young man. It’s a very clear difference from before.”
“I did come off as gloomy, so I guess it’s a big difference.”
“Sure, because the previous Amane was a quiet guy with an almost impenetrable reserve. Your old look made you seem completely unapproachable… But if she said you’ve changed, she probably meant something personality-wise, huh?”
“Well, she said I was easier to talk to now.”
“Heh-heh. That’s just because you’ve never been very assertive. You never have trouble when someone else starts the conversation. So when you announced that you were dating me, it was a signal for everyone to come talk to you. And now that you’ve talked with others more, they’ve realized you’re easy to get along with. That’s what I think, at least. Also, you’ve mellowed out, compared to before.”
Mahiru poked at Amane’s cheek with her fingertip, getting back at him for tussling her hair. It tickled, and he felt humiliated by it, so he grabbed her hand and pushed it away from his face.
Instead, he squeezed her hand, then entwined his fingers with hers and tapped the tips of his fingers against the back of her hand, satisfying her craving for physical contact.
Mahiru, who was wearing a more comfortable smile than before, leaned in and whispered, “Amane, you’ve also been smiling more lately.”
In his embarrassment, Amane averted his gaze from Mahiru.
“…I think that changed because I’ve been spending time with you. Also, if you’re going to say that, I should mention that you seem easier to talk to than before, too.”
“If that’s true, it’s because I’ve been spending time with you.”
“…Oh really, now?”
“That’s right.”
He could tell she was smiling happily without even looking at her. Keeping his face turned away, Amane kneaded her hand energetically, as if in payback—and to distract from his obvious bashfulness.
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login