CHAPTER 3
THE TAYGETA ARCHIVE
1
“Still, this is really too much,” Meili murmured as she looked around the bookshelves while playing with her braided hair.
Subaru turned away from the shelf he had been looking at.
“Why? Now that we figured out the trick, has it piqued your interest?”
“Hard to say…but the more dead people you know, the more books you can read, right? That might be a pretty good fit for me.”
“ ”
Subaru’s hand stopped at Meili’s casual remark. She looked almost confused by his response, but that idea troubled him.
Meili had killed many by her own hand, so she knew many dead people. Subaru had no idea what he should say to the girl who had been trained as a killer from a young age.
“Sympathy is a one-sided way of looking at it, too…”
As an outsider, was it even right for him to pity her or feel bad for her? If nothing else, seeing how she didn’t even consider it a problem made Subaru sad.
After finally unlocking the Taygeta archive, their party was currently facing off against the vast wealth of books through trial and error.
It was a library that allowed readers to experience the memories of the deceased and learn things they could never have known. From just that description, it might have seemed like the possibilities were endless, but…
“If the scarf lady is correct, then everyone who has died has a book here, right? But is it everyone who’s ever lived, or just those who’ve been around since this tower was made?”
“No clue. Even if it was just since the tower was built, that would mean around four hundred years’ worth of records…of books of the dead. There’s no way we can get through all of them.”
Even just skimming the titles would take a massive amount of time.
Ever since Subaru and Julius both found hits, the group had yet to pull any more. It was a testament to the sheer scale of four hundred years of history.
“I don’t necessarily mind not having to go through that again…”
“Don’t complain so much. Beatrice and Big Sister will worry if they hear you. And what will that half naked lady think?”
“Don’t make it sound like I’ve got a ton of love interests… I mean, I can’t completely deny it, either, but just for appearance’s sake, I’m going to. And about Shaula…”
Subaru shrugged before glancing over at Shaula. A little ways away, Julius and Anastasia were interrogating her. The moment she noticed Subaru’s gaze, her eyes gleamed, and she blew him a kiss. He went out of his way to brush it aside.
“Heh-heh… You’re a bad man, mister.”
“For some reason, hearing that from you hurts even more than hearing it from Ram or Anastasia.”
Having a little girl thinking the worst of him hit home a teeny bit harder. Feeling a dull ache in his chest, Subaru scratched his head.
“Hey, the timing is a bit strange, but can I ask you about something?”
“Ehhh? …Don’t you have enough girls already, mister?”
“You’ve got it all wrong! It’s not like that!”
“Just kidding… If you want to ask something, then just go ahead and ask.”
Cocking her head, Meili’s eyes narrowed coquettishly. There was an air about her that was almost alluring.
“If you say so, then here goes nothing… When did you become a killer?”
“—Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“Eh?! What?! Why are you laughing at that?”
He had tried to ask it with as much solemnity as he could muster, but the way she burst out laughing left Subaru bewildered. Meili wiped the tears from her eyes before she answered.
“Sorry, it just seemed like a question you maybe should have asked sooner. I mean, I’ve been at your mansion for like a year now, right? How did you not care about that until after we came to this sandy tower?”
“I guess when you put it that way… So I shouldn’t have just been giving you plushies?”
“You know, it’s because you gave me presents that I like you, mister. Hee-hee.”
Putting her hand to her mouth, Meili’s eyes were playful as she looked at Subaru.
She had a point. It was terribly late to be wondering that now. The only reason Subaru had thought of it then was because they were in an archive filled with the memories of the dead.
Because the feeling of death is undeniably all around us here…
“I just forgot about it until we started poking around in a place like this…”
“You forgot?”
“For the past year, you’ve been in the girl-playing-with-dolls category, is all. I don’t think I’m the only one who sees you that way, either.”
“ ”
Of course, he wasn’t so easygoing that he totally forgot how dangerous Meili could be. In fact, right after they had caught her and locked her away in the mansion, they had been extremely on guard. But she never tried to escape or make any attempts to harm anyone at the mansion, and so over time, they relaxed around her.
“It was complicated, but you got along with Petra pretty well, too, right?”
“Haaah… You know Petra was really, really stubborn, right?”
“She was?”
“Mm-hmm. She said she didn’t know if I was a friend or foe, so I could do whatever I wanted to her. I couldn’t betray her after that.”
“Wow, that’s amazing. Petra’s a little devil…”
Hearing that Petra had been working so hard behind the scenes, Subaru was surprised. He had no idea that Petra and Meili’s heart-warming friendship had that kind of backstory.
“I didn’t think I was making anyone besides Otto or Roswaal work that hard…”
“I think everyone is doing their best to make sure you and Big Sister…especially her…can stay how you are.”
Subaru nodded at Meili’s analysis as she hugged her legs and rested her chin on her knees.
Acting to protect Emilia. That was Subaru’s duty as her knight, but everyone in their camp shared that feeling in their heart in some form.
Subaru had intended to pay better attention to that, but with these sorts of things, he was always a step behind the more perceptive people in the group. He wouldn’t have guessed that included Petra, too.
Let Emilia be Emilia. While they weren’t overprotective about it, that was what everyone in their group wanted.
“…I started working five or six years ago.”
“…You’re willing to talk about it?”
“I was the one who said just ask if you wanted to know something. It’s not like I’m dead set on hiding it.”
Meili titled her head, her blue hair slipping from her shoulders as she looked a little bit exasperated. The way her braid swayed caught Subaru’s eyes as she started to elaborate matter-of-factly.
“Like I said before, in my case it was more like obeying Mama than doing a job. She was really, really scary if you didn’t do as she said.”
“Mama, huh?”
Subaru understood that Meili didn’t mean her actual mother. In one sense, she was a bit like a foster mother maybe, but as far as Subaru was concerned, she was the mother of the distortions in Meili’s character and didn’t deserve any amount of respect.
Using terror to force a young girl like her to carry out orders and mold her into a killer…
“She knew from the start that I could make demon beasts listen to me, so that part wasn’t an issue. That was why she picked me up in the first place.”
“Wait a sec. Picked you up? So then…”
“—? Ah, yeah, I was abandoned. I was thrown away in a forest before I could remember anything and raised by demon beasts.”
She was talking like it wasn’t worth noting, but it was quite the shocking story. Being raised by demon beasts as a baby…
“It’s not really the time to be commenting about actually getting raised by wolves. Also, can demon beasts even raise a baby?”
“It would be impossible for a normal kid. But I had the ability to get along with demon beasts from birth… That was why I was apparently saved.”
Meili stopped there for a moment as Subaru looked speechless.
“Well, anyway, this blessing is probably why I was abandoned, too… So it’s hard to say if it was good or bad. Heh-heh.”
“Meili…”
“Hmm? Was that not funny? I thought that would get a laugh.”
Meili feigned looking hurt as Subaru struggled with what to even say to her. Should he stick to the sorrowful look or was it the moment for a little black humor?
In any event, Subaru’s heart wasn’t armored enough to choose the latter.
“Don’t look like that, mister. It doesn’t bother me at all.”
“It doesn’t…?”
“Lots of people born with blessings suffer. Mister advisor and the fanged mister, too… I’m sure they would understand.”
She brought up Otto and Garfiel as two examples of the hardships that were unavoidable for people born with blessings.
Otto had said something similar before, too. Even blessings that might seem convenient at a glance caused untold difficulties that could only be understood by those who actually had to deal with them.
“I was abandoned because of my blessing, then picked up because of it. I did the work I did, and that’s how I ended up here with all of you… It’s funny how things work.”
“…That’s certainly an eventful life…”
“If you ask me, ending up not killing would have seemed a lot more unnatural.”
“That debate is already over, though. Don’t do it again. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve done it before. Nothing’s changed… Anyway, just as a hypothetical…”
“What?”
Meili cocked her head and looked up at Subaru as he pointed to the shelves. There were countless books. If they really were the traces of everyone who had lived in this world…
“If your parents’ books are somewhere in the stacks here…would you want to read them?”
“My parents? Not Mama, but my actual parents?”
Subaru nodded as Meili looked surprised.
It wasn’t impossible. Meili said that her parents had abandoned her as a baby, but she had no way of knowing that. It was entirely possible there was some sort of extenuating circumstance that forced their hand, and the answer to that question might be in their books.
“I don’t care at all, though?”
She responded with a puzzled look.
It wasn’t acting tough or putting on a brave face. Those were her honest feelings on the matter. She didn’t even feel any hatred or hostility. It was just plain and simple apathy.
“I see…”
“Don’t misunderstand, mister. I don’t resent being abandoned by my parents. They don’t matter enough for that.”
In Meili’s life, the parents who abandoned her were not objects of interest. From her point of view, other than the initial act of bringing her into the world, they had never interacted.
I guess that’s how it is.
Subaru exhaled.
A journey to find oneself was a clichéd way of describing it, but Subaru felt like there was meaning in discovering one’s roots.
At the same time, that was just the opinion of an outsider. If Meili didn’t feel that way, he had no choice but to accept it.
“In which case, the value of these bookshelves existing is feeling more and more dubious…”
“Incidentally, what were you going to do if I said I did want to read them?”
“…? Look for them, obviously. I mean, doing that right away would be impossible, but we could do some research into your past, and if we could figure out a name, make some time to ch—”
“You really are a dummy, mister.”
“What’d I do to deserve that?!”
It was such a simple insult that all Subaru could do was raise his voice. Meili just shook her head and stood up. Dusting off her bottom, she glanced over toward the bookshelves.
“I mean, there’s no way you could find the book you’re looking for in all of these.”
“If you ask me, as long as there’s a chance, it’s worth trying.”
“Well, that’s too bad. Since there isn’t anyone’s book I want to read…”
It was faint, but her voice trailed off ever so slightly. Subaru furrowed his brow.
“Hmm?”
“Just a thought…” Meili turned around. “…More books show up here when people die, right?”
“Yeah. At least I think so.”
“How does that work, I wonder? If you died right here and now, would your book suddenly pop into existence? I am curious about that.”
“I see! Unfortunately, I’m not going to test out that hypothesis for you!”
Subaru found it almost insulting that she might have thought he would just accept anything she suggested. As far as he was concerned, he wasn’t going to stake his life on it.
Meili’s lips curled in a pout.
“You two look like you are having fun. Did you find something?”
Hearing their exchange, Emilia, who had been looking around all the shelves, came over to check on them. There was expectation in her eyes, but unfortunately, they had nothing but conversation to share.
Subaru felt bad that they didn’t have more to offer when…
“Ah, Big Sister, listen, listen. Mister was hitting on me.”
“I was not! In fact, we talked about how precious you are, Emilia!”
“That makes me reeeally happy, but you shouldn’t deny it so loudly. If you act like that, you’ll make Meili sad, right?”
Emilia didn’t even pretend to be embarrassed as she casually brushed off Subaru’s reaffirmation of love. After gently scolding Subaru, she turned to Meili and apologized.
“Sorry, Subaru has a habit of trying to show off. I’ll have a proper talk with him, so just tell him he’s cool and forgive him for now.”
“…What do you think of mister?”
“…? Subaru is my important and special knight…”
Emilia’s eyes widened, not getting the point of the question.
Seeing that, Meili smiled weakly, and she looked over at Subaru, whose shoulders had slumped.
“Looks like a rough road ahead for you, mister.”
A grave, pained silence was all Subaru could muster in response.
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