4
“—Subaru knows just how painful it is to be forgotten, so he would never joke about forgetting someone.”
Having caught his breath, Subaru was just about to return to the green room when he heard someone inside say that.
He couldn’t see it, but he could imagine from the tone what sort of expression Emilia had—her beautiful face strained, her eyes filled with trust in the other Subaru Natsuki.
It certainly isn’t faith in me.
“…Wouldn’t tell a joke like that… Yes. For once, Lady Emilia is right.”
Apparently also overhearing the same thing, Ram murmured to herself with a scoff. Coming from someone who was supposed to be serving Emilia, that was fairly rude, but considering what had just happened, Subaru hesitated to point that out.
“I’m just grumbling. Forget you heard anything. And don’t trouble Lady Emilia or the others by mentioning what happened earlier. And for the sake of my honor, too. If you say anything…”
“What’ll happen?”
“…You really don’t remember, do you?”
Did she intend to say he would regret it? Maybe he should have cracked a joke.
There was a brief flash of emotion in her eyes when Subaru failed to respond correctly, but it was gone as quickly as it came.
Was not letting me say anything a show of her strength? Or was it the opposite…?
“—Apologies for keeping you waiting. We have returned.”
With that, Ram stepped into the room with Subaru in tow, both of them looking perfectly innocent.
It felt like the mood was ever so slightly lighter than before they’d left. He probably had Emilia to thank for that.
That was as good as confirmed when the first to speak when he entered the room was—
“…Sorry for my disgraceful behavior earlier. Could we talk now?” asked Julius.
“S-sure. I’m sorry too for the…ah, no, don’t let me interrupt. I’ll gladly listen.”
“Don’t be so formal. Hearing that from you would only make it all quite a bit harder to take in.”
The purple-haired man flashed a faint smile as he bowed.
He had been deathly pale after Subaru’s confession earlier, but it looked like he had recovered somewhat. But there was also what Ram had said in the hall. When he asked about Julius, she’d said it was cruel. What had she meant by that?
“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Julius Juukulius. I am Lady Anastasia’s…her knight. You and I are friends…of a sort.”
“Gotcha. I hope we can get along… Though you sound kind of unsure.”
“As it happens, there is a fair chance we may have had different ideas about the nature of our relationship. I viewed you as a friend, but as for what you thought…”
“Yeah, I can’t really say either then.”
“…Indeed.”
Subaru found that indirect, refined phrasing rather curious.
They had apparently survived a terribly harsh journey to get there, and as the only two guys in the group, they most likely had some sort of connection.
“If I’m being real, you do look like the sort of person I’d snap at the first time we meet face-to-face…”
“Don’t worry. You and Julius were really close.”
Despite Subaru’s comment, Emilia put her hand on her hip and gave their friendship her seal of approval.
“Right?” Emilia glanced around, looking for backup.
“That’s right.” Meili smiled. “You got along just fine, so don’t worry. Also, Mr. Knight’s problem isn’t really that.”
“It isn’t? Wait, what is that…?” Subaru asked.
“—Is that related to Lady Anastasia’s behavior that’s been odd since this morning?” Ram continued where Meili left off.
Hearing that, Subaru looked toward Julius and Anastasia.
Julius averted his eyes and Anastasia smiled vaguely.
“…That is correct, Ms. Ram. Though it unfortunately now comes on top of Subaru’s predicament.”
“I wasn’t really wanting to add more confusion to the mess. But the longer I put this off, the more discord builds. So I’ll put my trust in the bonds we’ve cultivated during our time getting through the dunes.”
“…That’s a rather grand way of putting it, I suppose.”
“Have no fear, Beatrice. We’re sisters bound by a not so shallow bond, aren’t we? Just like you guessed,” Anastasia interjected.
Beatrice’s face stiffened as she held onto the hem of Subaru’s clothes. Seeing that, he naturally put his hand on hers.
Anastasia continued, “…Your relationship with Natsuki is endearing and ideal. I would’ve liked to have been able to build something like that with Ana, too, but it didn’t work out so well.”
“You’re talking about Anastasia like she’s someone else. That means you…” Emilia trailed off.
“As most of you have surmised, right now, the will that inhabits this body isn’t Ana’s. She is sleeping within her body. While she lies dormant, her physical form has been left to me, Echidna, to take her place.”
“Echidna…?!”
Emilia’s eyes widened at Anastasia’s revelation. Beatrice’s hand also tensed. Subaru could tell that everyone found this shocking.
Anastasia openly admitted that she wasn’t actually Anastasia and claimed to be this Echidna person instead. But—
“…I-I see. That’s, uh… Umm, it’s a big deal…right?”
Naturally, it didn’t really mean much to Subaru since he’d lost his memories.
He didn’t remember Anastasia to begin with, so even if she dramatically confessed to being someone else entirely, he had no way of really understanding how that was supposed to be significant.
“But from what I’ve heard, we came to this tower to help that Rem girl who’s sleeping and can’t wake up and the other people who are sick in another town, right? So…”
“Right now, at the very start of our attempts to explore this tower, our core group is in tatters. Barusu has lost what little memory he had, and Lady Anastasia’s consciousness is in an abyss.”
“S-so there’s no good news…”
Ram’s curt conclusion left Subaru at wit’s end.
As one of the problems making up their mountain of trouble, he felt bad, but that didn’t change the fact that they were in a situation where it was hard for their party to act. If challenges like this keep piling up, clearing the tower is gonna be—
Just as Subaru was about to say it was impossible, Emilia clapped her hands and looked around at everyone’s face. “I don’t blame anyone for feeling down. Really, I want to worry, too. But we can’t just get depressed.”
“Emilia-chan…”
“We came to this tower carrying the hopes of so many people. Right now, Subaru and Anastasia are not doing great. Like, really not doing great. But…” As she paused for a moment, an earnest light appeared in Emilia’s purple eyes. “We can’t stop moving. I’ve always been told by a certain someone to never give up.”
There was a strength in her voice as she looked at everyone’s face in turn, and then finally stopped at Subaru. Entranced by her beautiful gaze, Subaru forgot to breathe.
His chest felt hot. There was so much hope and expectation in her eyes, and his soul was telling him he couldn’t let her down.
“Oww! Subaru! Your hand! That hurts!”
“S-sorry about that! …But Emilia-chan is right.”
Apologizing for almost crushing Beatrice’s dainty hand, Subaru shook his head to clear his thoughts.
Her words reverberated in his mind. Of course he wanted to just sink into the confusion and dismay he felt. But he wasn’t alone.
His memories were gone. He couldn’t recall a single thing. But if they were willing to stick with him even now…
“Sorry for causing everyone so much trouble by losing my memory. But that doesn’t mean everything is over and hopeless. It all depends on your point of view. Maybe I can think of some cutting-edge new ideas now that I’m not bound by the logic of this world. Crisis is another word for opportunity!”
Anastasia—or rather Echidna—smiled awkwardly at this heat-of-the-moment declaration. “…That’s another rather optimistic perspective.”
“But it is the exact kind of thing Subaru likes to say, I suppose,” Beatrice replied.
After Subaru’s show of bravado, the heavy mood in the room eased just a bit.
Emilia gently put her hand to her chest.
“Mm-hmm, right. You were always overcoming all sorts of difficult situations. So I’m sure you’ll be able to get through this, too.”
“There, that’s the spirit! As for what I’ll work hard doing, that’s a problem for future me, but if someone’s expecting great things from me, then I’ll have to do my best. And there’s even a cute girl cheering me on.”
“Thanks, Subaru. And thank goodness. You really are still you.”
“ ”
Emilia let out a sigh of relief, but her words caught him off-guard.
—You really are still you.
That obvious sign of relief also put him at ease. It helped him feel confident he hadn’t made a mistake.
He could gradually fill the gap between himself and the Subaru Natsuki that she knew. And if he did that, their awkward and stiff relationship would improve as well.
With a shrug, Julius said, “Memories or not, it is as ever hard to say whether you can tell the difference between decisiveness and recklessness. Is it because you’ve forgotten how great the barrier is that lies before us that you can say that so easily?”
“Oh yeah? Listen to you. Is this just how you are, Sir J-…no, it’s just Julius, isn’t it?”
“…I see. As Lady Emilia says, a person’s nature does not appear to be controlled by their memories.”
“I’m getting an idea what sort of relationship I had with you. I’ll be looking forward to seeing how it goes.”
Their exchange was a bit too prickly to be called friendly, but not so harsh that it could be considered dangerous. But from how comfortably it fit, Subaru felt confident this was the emotional distance he normally maintained with Julius.
His first impression had been on the money, and it was clear that even when he had all his memories, they hadn’t gotten along that well. Whatever connection they’d built up on this journey, it had been a gradual thing.
“Memories are just a trivial thing, then? Indeed… That is correct.”
Julius touched his bangs as he said that, and Subaru nodded magnanimously in agreement.
Either way, the awkwardness brought on by Subaru’s lack of memory and Anastasia/Echidna’s confession seemed to have dissipated.
“But my anxiety is massive. I’ll have to get Emilia-chan to help comfort me later.”
“? Do you want to lay your head on my lap?”
“Ah, no, sorry. It’s maybe a little too soon for that.”
He had gotten ahead of himself and meant it as just a joke, but seeing Emilia willing to entertain it, Subaru balked. Against all expectations, he’d been offered a chance to rest his head in her lap and reflexively turned it down. It was possible he would rue that choice for the rest of his life.
“But still, getting offered that by an ultra-gorgeous girl who is exactly my type is just too high a bar…owww!”
“You have a lewd look on your face, Barusu.” Ram had a contemptuous look in her eyes when she slapped his cheek. And then, looking entirely unashamed, she turned to Emilia and the others. “If I might interrupt, perhaps we could continue this important discussion while eating? The passage of time is hard to measure in this tower, but it’d be best not to get too out of sync.”
“Agreed! I second the motion! Food! Food!”
Shaula had been disinterested through the rest of the discussion, but when she heard Ram’s suggestion, she latched on immediately. Subaru was about to make a remark about whether this was the time for her to be so cheerful, but his stomach growled audibly.
And once he thought about it, he couldn’t deny the fact that his belly was feeling awfully empty.
“…Breaking news: even without memories, I still get hungry. This has been Subaru Natsuki reporting.”
“Heh-heh, Ram is right. Let’s eat. We can keep talking while we eat, too.”
Subaru felt a bit pathetic, but Emilia just giggled slightly and clapped her hands.
With that, he started getting ready for his first meal (that he could remember) after being summoned to this world.
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