3
“So basically, I lost my memories in the Taygeta archive. I might have some issues talking with everyone, and it might be a hassle, but I hope you’ll understand.”
And with that, after everyone had gathered for breakfast, Subaru politely lowered his head in apology.
The reactions to Subaru’s explosive revelation—maybe it was more accurate to call it his carpet-bombing of revelations—were varied. However, confusion and mayhem were the most prominent. It looked like shock and grief would have to come later.
“I’m sure everyone is really worried about Subaru, but we have to keep it together, since he’s the one who must be most worried…”
Standing next to him, Emilia had an anxious look on her face as she spoke supportively.
Emilia and Beatrice had been initially shaken when they heard about his memory loss, but they still believed him. After his moment of turmoil after waking up in the green room, he immediately told them the truth, then asked for their support at this meeting.
His last time through the loop had been terrifying, and now Subaru Natsuki was charging headlong onto a new path.
He had resolved himself to start life again from zero in another world—or at least that was how he wanted to describe it, but the reality of the situation wasn’t nearly that appealing. Making up his mind was good, but there was a distinct possibility that everything could’ve ended for good with his last death.
He couldn’t help feeling grateful and relieved that wasn’t the case and that he’d been given this new opportunity to start over by returning from death. But he had no intention of just relying on that.
His ability was powerful, but the trigger—death—was unbelievably agonizing. Considering that was the price for twisting fate, it seemed appropriate. Powerful abilities demanded an equal cost. And Subaru was sure his returning from death was no different.
There was also the possibility that this ability only had a limited number of uses or required sacrificing something precious to try again. He would have to be wary of overusing the ability.
Having thought that far, Subaru—
“Wait, my memories disappearing isn’t the price for returning by death…is it?”
“Are you listening, Barusu?”
Ram’s stern voice pulled him back to reality. Her pink eyes glared at Subaru as she crossed her arms.
“Despite what Lady Emilia said, Subaru does not appear to be particularly concerned at all… What is this farce, Barusu?”
“This isn’t a joke. I came clean about my worries and told the truth. Just imagining the kind of awful tragedy that could happen if I’m weirdly stubborn about it is enough to break my heart.”
Ram’s eyes hardened as she responded. “A slick turn of phrase. So we’re just supposed to believe you after some flippant—?”
The one who halted her frustrated retort was Beatrice, who was sitting gracefully beside Subaru. “There’s no reason for Subaru to think up tall tales that are in such bad taste. You should understand that, too.” The girl who was always Subaru’s ally pointed at him while looking up at Ram. “And Emilia isn’t lying, either. Subaru has lost his memories, and he is undoubtedly the one most troubled by it. That’s why he cried like a little boy.”
“Bringing that up is a bit embarrassing.” Scratching his cheek awkwardly at that unexpected revelation, Subaru left it at that.
The true reason for his tears was a complex mix of things. The fact that he had come back to life. Being reunited with everyone. Realizing that he had been given another chance.
But still, tears were tears. It was poor manners to probe too deeply about why a man cried.
Either way, Subaru was grateful for Beatrice’s support.
Remembering Beatrice’s fleeting relief and her comment about bringing her out, he could feel an ache in his chest, like a chain was tightening around his heart.
What did that Subaru Natsuki do to Beatrice?
He felt guilty relying on her trust without knowing their shared history. And he was careful to remind himself not to accept her trust as a given.
“Honestly, using the excuse of ‘I have no reason to lie’ to shut down criticism isn’t ideal, but I’m gonna have to ask you to bear with me.”
“So you say…”
“And then let’s talk more constructively. Fortunately, the current me is feeling optimistic. I’ll gladly welcome any discussion that’ll help us move forward…and if there’s something you want to say, I’ll listen.”
Building on top of what Beatrice had already said, Subaru lowered his head again. And Emilia lowered her head, too.
“Please believe him.”
“ ”
Even Ram couldn’t argue when all three of them were acting like this. And so she began to seriously consider the implications if his claim was true.
Ram wasn’t the only one stunned by Subaru’s confession. She’d had the most striking reaction, but the others—Echidna and Julius and Shaula—reacted the same way they had multiple times before.
Though he was sorry for heaping this dilemma onto their laps again, Subaru was still happy to see them. He could talk with everyone who should have been lost forever.
Gripped by that emotion, the one he focused on the most was—
“—You really are troublesome, mister.”
“—Ngh!”
“What’s with that reaction? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. That isn’t very nice.”
The girl pretending not to be particularly surprised by his revelation was a young assassin with braided dark blue hair, wearing dark clothes.
Meili Portroute was there, moving and talking.
“Meili…”
“Hmmm… So you remember my name… Actually, I can’t really tell what’s supposed to be different. What did you forget?”
“…Ah, sorry. It’s basically sort of like missing episodes. Apparently, I can remember the names of most things, but when it comes to memories of what happened, it gets pretty iffy.”
“…So, like…what happened yesterday?” Meili’s tone fell slightly, and her eyes narrowed.
“Right.”
Subaru answered immediately.
He could have evaded it with a concocted explanation but had decided against it. He wanted to be as honest as possible with them.
“—Yesterday? That’s… No, I suppose so,” Julius murmured.
The ones who were most shocked by Subaru’s revelation might have been Julius and Echidna. The three of them had supposedly participated in a suspicious meeting the previous day.
But putting their reactions aside for a moment…
“Again, Master? How many times are you going to forget me before you’re satisfied!” Shaula pursed her lips unhappily while hugging her abundant chest.
Every other time, Subaru had overlooked her rambling, but at this point, it stuck out as an oddity he couldn’t ignore anymore.
“I feel a bit weird delving into your nonsense, but did your master really just go around losing his memories that often?”
“…? It happened a lot. When I greeted you in the morning, you’d say ‘Who are you again? I don’t remember you. I don’t know you.’ Like I was a random fling.”
“Hmm. That doesn’t really sound like simple teasing, but it’s hard to tell…”
Hypothetically speaking, if Subaru had been on friendly terms with Shaula, that did sound like his sort of joke. On the other hand, he had tried to hide his memory loss from them once before. Under those circumstances, it wouldn’t be at all strange for him to use that sort of joke to paper over gaps.
This is seriously a murderous pain in the ass. Actually, I’ve died four times now, so maybe that’s not the best way to put it.
“Honestly, it’s still difficult to accept at face value, but…as long as we’re staying in this tower, it’s probably wise to keep in mind the possibility that a trap or something along those lines might have caused Natsuki’s current condition.” Echidna began to seriously grapple with the situation.
“The most likely place for it to have happened is where Emilia-chan found me passed out, in Taygeta,” Subaru agreed. “Apparently, it was a kinda shady place to begin with.”
“Chan…”
“?”
Subaru couldn’t help but notice Emilia’s lonely murmur. She’d had a similar reaction on several occasions when he talked with her in the last loop. Ultimately, he never learned what the cause was.
Is it some fatal thing I’m missing? …That would be terrifying.
“—Anyway, I’m sorry for surprising everyone. Everyone probably needs some time to settle their thoughts, so why don’t we break for a bit? Ram and I can go get some water in the meantime.”
With that proposal, Subaru leaped to his feet. Ram’s shoulders twitched while Emilia and Beatrice looked at him in concern.
But he simply nodded at the worried pair and fixed his black eyes on Ram.
“Let’s go, Ram. You looked like you were about to invite me to go get some water.”
“How obscene.”
Ram refused to meet his gaze.
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login