Chapter 4
Goldof Auora’s Anguish
Goldof Auora.
He was known all over the world as a gifted young knight, extolled as the pride of the Kingdom of Piena. But in truth, few knew of his background. His origins were unfamiliar not only to foreigners, but also to the people of Piena. Even some among the knights and nobles were unaware.
Goldof was born into the lowest class of Piena, in a tiny port town on the western fringes of the kingdom. His father was a rag-picker-cum-petty-thief who targeted the wallets and accessories of passers-by. Goldof had been told that his mother was a prostitute, but he didn’t know her name or what she looked like.
He grew up in the slums, the territory of thugs and the abode of those who made a living stealing from honest people. Young Goldof’s job was to search among the piles of refuse for anything that might still be useful and then sell it. To him, the upper classes and the royal family were so far beyond his sphere of interaction, he was barely even aware they existed.
Goldof was a very taciturn boy. He would rarely reply when spoken to, and when he did open his mouth, he’d mutter a word or two at most. He just expressionlessly followed the instructions of his father and the other adults in his life. The people of the slums all thought he was simply stupid.
But there was one thing about Goldof that distinguished him from the other boys: He was born exceptionally strong. He grew at double the speed of the other children, and his strength increased at twice that rate. Goldof had everything: reflexes, athletic talent, and the unique sharp instinct of a first-rate warrior. Why was he so strong? No particular reason at all. He’d never had a teacher, never labored for it, and had never once had any ounce of desire for it. He was just strong for no reason.
This was not necessarily a good thing. Goldof knew this firsthand.
The first time he killed a living being was when he was four years old. A stray dog had tried to bite him, so he swung it around by the tail, and it died.
The first time he’d broken a person’s bones was when he was seven. He’d picked up a little ring by the side of the road and was on his way to take it to his father when a boy around his age came in to snatch it away. When Goldof grabbed the boy’s arm as hard as he could, he heard a horrible sound in his grip. The boy crumpled, wailing. Goldof merely looked down at the squalling boy.
The first time he’d gotten into a fight had also been at seven.
The boys of the slums were all in gangs. They banded together to protect themselves from unfair violence and also to coordinate for a chance to pilfer from adults. They plotted their revenge against Goldof, and late one night they all took up their preferred weapons and boxed him in.
They punched him and kicked him, but Goldof didn’t say anything. He didn’t apologize to them or cry. When they hit him in the head with an iron bar, he remembered none of what happened next. A few minutes later, Goldof’s fists were drenched in blood, and all of his attackers prone on the ground. Of the nine boys, two were wounded so badly they would never recover.
Goldof killed someone for the first time when he was eight. His father, the petty thief, had stolen a wallet from someone he perhaps shouldn’t have. Some oafish men were kicking him around on the street. Goldof grabbed one of the men from behind by the hair, threw him to the ground, and snapped his neck. Instantly, the man lay still.
Two small girls came running out of the crowd that had gathered around the scene. They flung themselves on the man’s body and cried, jeering and hissing at Goldof. The dead man was the girls’ older brother. When one of them came at him with a knife, he kicked her as hard as he could in the stomach.
Goldof first hit his father at the same age.
In their back-alley hut, Goldof’s father had grabbed him by the collar, ranting and yelling at him. You’re so violent, everyone resents me, too. I can’t live in this town anymore! How could you?! This is your fault! his father howled, crying.
Goldof head-butted his father in the face and kept on kicking it beyond all recognition. His father apologized and then begged for his life. When Goldof stopped, the man scuttled away in panic. The boy never saw him again.
He had hit people more times than he could count. Sometimes it was to protect himself. Other times it was for utterly trivial reasons. Ever since he was young, his heart had burned with hot coals. Those coals easily ignited whenever something rubbed him the wrong way. It didn’t matter if the cause was something small or even if it was Goldof’s fault. When the black flames flared up, Goldof plunged everything around him into a sea of blood—be it a little girl or even his own father, his only family. And once those flames were burning, Goldof could not snuff them out.
Everyone hated him. When good people saw him, they looked away. The boys his age hid or ran from him. Even the worst and the roughest wouldn’t accept him. When they fought, it was ultimately about survival. Their way of life was incompatible with Goldof’s. He only hit to break and to harm. They talked about him behind his back, always searching for a chance to kill him.
It wasn’t that hitting people was fun for Goldof. Winning didn’t make him happy, and he wasn’t proud of being strong, either. He just wanted a normal life, to take pleasure in the small things like playing with friends and having a relationship with his father. But each time the black flames flared up, someone near him was injured. Goldof couldn’t do anything about it.
Goldof spent his boyhood as a target of hatred and fear. Eventually, he discovered a single truth: The world didn’t want him. There wasn’t a single person in the world who wanted him to be alive—himself included, most likely.
And then, when he was ten years old, the boy loathed by everyone met a girl.
Goldof noticed that for the past few days, there had been a lot of noise in town. The soldiers of the noble ruling the city had been lurking about the streets. And these soldiers had never been much for maintaining the peace—they did nothing but extort the citizenry. They came to the slums, too. The neighborhood thugs were staying quiet and in hiding so as not to be blamed for anything.
At the time, Goldof was keeping himself fed by rag-picking. Whenever he showed up, the people of the neighborhood always looked away. Women and children quickly made themselves scarce. Even the merchant who bought the items of value that Goldof scrounged from the trash didn’t talk with him more than was necessary. That was Goldof’s day-to-day at the time.
The soldiers seemed to be searching for something in the back streets. They proceeded along the road, going into houses, scouring furniture and closets. As Goldof picked through trash, he eavesdropped on the soldiers’ conversation. It sounded like they were searching for a girl. Goldof didn’t know who she was or why they were searching for her. But from the bits of conversation, he understood that if the soldiers found her, they’d be paid very handsomely. The reactions of the residents varied; some were trying to find the girl to get rich quick, while others worried that this might bring trouble. Goldof was not going to get involved with any of it, however.
“Hey, kid. Have you seen—” one soldier called out to him.
But before the soldier could even finish speaking, Goldof glared at him and said, “Move.” That one word made the soldier flinch. Wordlessly, Goldof passed the man by. He avoided interaction as much as possible. Avoiding people meant he could go without hurting anyone, or himself. Goldof had acquired this worldly wisdom at the age of ten.
“It’s best if you don’t talk to him, sir. He’s crazy.” Goldof faintly overheard a man behind him speaking to the soldier. Fortunately, the black coals did not flare to life. If they had, he probably would have beat to death both the man who’d said that and the soldier.
Goldof exchanged the once discarded items for money, bought his bread for the day, and headed home. He lived in a little hut in the filthiest district of the slums.
He was about to open his half-broken door when he noticed that someone was inside.
“…”
Was it a petty thief who didn’t know about Goldof and had the poor luck to be searching his house? Or was someone with a grudge against him trying to set his place on fire? The black flames began burning inside him. Guess I’ll kill him, Goldof thought, opening the door.
But then suddenly, it was as if Goldof was frozen; he couldn’t move at all. “…Who are you?” he asked.
Inside his home was a girl. She lay curled up on the ground, her eyes closed. Her clothes were rags that even the children of the slums wouldn’t wear. Her face was rather dirty, and her cheeks were sunken. Her long, golden hair shone softly.
The moment Goldof saw her face, the fire burning inside him was immediately snuffed out. It was the first time in his life this had happened. The black flames had flared up, but he’d gone without hitting anyone.
The girl was beautiful. She had to be in her early teens. Goldof approached her and gently reached out for her cheek. Just before his fingers touched her, his hand stopped one centimeter from her face. For some reason, he felt like he wasn’t allowed to touch her—that if he did, she’d break.
“…Oh.” The girl on the floor opened her eyes and looked straight at Goldof. That alone was enough to stun him, like he’d gone and done something he shouldn’t have.
The girl looked at him, frozen with his hand outstretched, and tilted her head. “Is Meenia all right?” she asked, and rose.
Not understanding what she meant, Goldof was unable to reply.
“Oh, are you not one of Barbitt’s men, mister?” Barbitt was the name of the noble who ruled the town. That was when Goldof realized this was the girl the soldiers were looking for. “I’m not going to run. Relax, please. Also, I think capturing me unwounded will net you the biggest reward.”
Sitting on the floor, the girl wrapped her arms around herself. Goldof could tell she was afraid. He didn’t know what to do, so he simply kept silent.
“Um…are you not going to capture me? Are you…the person who lives here?”
Goldof nodded, and the girl bowed her head to him.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I just barged into your home. I was so tired, I just wanted to rest. I can’t do anything for you now, but I will make it up to you.”
He tried to reply, It’s no problem, but the words wouldn’t come out. The girl’s face kept him spellbound. He couldn’t see anything else. It was like he’d forgotten everything in the world besides himself and her.
Then suddenly, a noise came from outside the hut. “Have you searched this house?!”
“Not yet!”
Soldiers burst into the hut without knocking. When they saw the girl, their eyes widened, approaching her with greed. “We’ve finally found you! You’re not getting away again.”
The girl stood up without a word. Her face drained of all color, stiffening in fear. Her legs trembled.
“Come with us. You can’t tell us no.”
“…I…under…stand,” she said. The soldiers ignored Goldof’s presence entirely. They grabbed the girl by the arm and dragged her out of the hut.
Instantly, the black flames flared again in Goldof’s heart. They roared hot, more powerfully than they ever had before. He didn’t know who that girl was or why the soldiers were chasing her, either. But he felt like he had to kill all of those soldiers immediately. He clenched his fists and took a step forward.
But then the girl yelled, “The gentleman over there!” Her sudden cry surprised the soldiers. Goldof froze before he could punch them. “He…was not a part of this.”
The soldiers looked at Goldof and shrugged.
Then the girl smiled at him and said, “Mister, I’ll be okay. Please, don’t worry about anything.”
The moment she spoke, the flames that had been burning in Goldof’s chest were again instantly extinguished. If she says there’s no need to fight, then I don’t need to fight, he thought.
Surrounded by soldiers, the girl left the hut. Goldof watched her go in silence. She looked back one last time, bowing her head to him. “Mister, thank you very much, truly. I will not forget this debt.” The soldiers were confused as to what she meant. But Goldof just stood there. He didn’t know what he should do or why the girl had thanked him.
“…Oh…I get it.” Then, after a while, he figured it out. The girl had realized he’d been about to attack the soldiers. She had thought the soldiers would kill him if he did, so she had stopped him. Then she had thanked him for trying to save her.
The girl had defended him. She might have been able to get away during the fight, but she had prioritized Goldof’s life instead.
The moment he understood that, he dashed out of the hut.
Later, Goldof would find out that the girl’s name was Nashetania Rouie Piena. A year after she and Goldof first met, the name Augustra would be added to that, as the title of the successor to the throne.
At that time, there was great political unrest in the Kingdom of Piena. The king, Nalphtoma, had suddenly gone mad. He’d started ranting about a heretical sect running rampant throughout the nation, and how these heretics who worshipped the Evil God planned the destruction of the world and plotted to kill him. Nalphtoma caused a bloodbath, slaughtering innocent citizens and aristocrats in the name of “saving the world.” Finally, he accused even his own daughter, Nashetania, of heresy.
No matter how much the high chancellor and the knights investigated, they could find no such profane cult in Piena. But that didn’t cure Nalphtoma of his delusions. Eventually, he ordered that Nashetania be disinherited and executed, and then he selected a distantly related prince from a different nation to be his successor instead. He rewarded those who killed the most heretics and bestowed important posts to them.
And so a civil war began. Many accused innocent nobles of crimes in an attempt to gain wealth or status for themselves. The king would either divest these nobles of their status or execute them.
Nashetania’s life had been in danger, and so she was left with no choice but to disguise herself as a commoner and flee the capital. Three years later, she would become the Saint of Blades, but at this time in her life, she was still just a powerless girl.
The day Nashetania had met Goldof, she and her retainers were supposed to have gone to the noble who governed the town. But that noble had betrayed Nashetania instead, apprehending her knight guards and the maids who attended her. Without her guards, Nashetania had fled until eventually she had become separated from her one remaining maid, Meenia.
Finally, Nashetania had arrived at a tiny hut on the edge of the slums, where she had met Goldof.
Goldof ran outside his hut, the black flame searing in his chest. Eyes bloodshot, he panted like an animal. There was nothing in his head but the urge to fight.
He searched for the girl and the soldiers, but they had already withdrawn from the slums. He grabbed people on the street and half tortured them to find out where the girl had gone. Most of them knew nothing, but he did find one person who’d been eavesdropping on the soldiers’ conversation. They said that the girl was going to be taken to the noble’s estate and killed there. Goldof asked around for more detail about the girl’s location. One person had witnessed her being loaded into a four-horse carriage and escorted out of the city.
“…The noble’s…estate…” Goldof muttered. Then he seized a nearby carpenter’s biggest hammer and headed out of town.
He sprinted along the main road. The noble’s estate was about a half day’s walk away. No matter how fast he ran, he was not going to be able to catch up to a carriage. The sun set, wreathing his surroundings in darkness. A wolf howled as Goldof kept his pace down the road.
When he arrived at the noble’s estate and neared the front door, two gatekeepers brandished their spears at him. The black flame burned in his chest hotter than it ever had before. But this time the heat was not unpleasant. Howling like a beast, Goldof attacked the gatekeepers.
He didn’t remember very well what happened after that. Weapon in hand, he struck down everything within reach. When the hammer broke, he stole a spear from a soldier and swung it around recklessly. But as strong as Goldof was, he was still barely ten years old, and this was also the first time in his life he’d ever used a weapon like this. There was no way he could match armed and formally trained soldiers. They stabbed him in the side, hit his head with a spear shaft, and pierced his foot with an arrow. But still Goldof’s knees would not lower to the ground.
His consciousness dim, his vision hazy, Goldof noticed that there were others fighting with him. Ten knights had broken into the estate and were fighting the soldiers.
“The princess is safe!” someone yelled, and the moment Goldof heard that, he passed out.
When Goldof opened his eyes, he found himself swathed in bandages and lying on a soft, unfamiliar bed. He asked the young knight by his bedside where he was. The man replied that it was one of the Black Horns knights’ barracks. He also explained that this was a special sickroom for nobles only, but Goldof was getting special treatment.
Goldof’s next question was, “Is that girl safe?”
The knight laughed and replied, “Yes, Princess Nashetania is safe.”
That was when Goldof first learned the girl’s name. The knight was surprised to learn he hadn’t known who Nashetania was. “You’re saying you fought that hard for a girl whose name you didn’t even know?”
Goldof nodded, and the knight shook his head as if to say, I can’t believe it. But Goldof let that drop. What he really wanted to know about was Nashetania.
According to the young man, the Black Horns knights, one of the twelve knight orders of the Kingdom of Piena, had rescued Nashetania. By the time Goldof met Nashetania, the captain of the knights, Gazama, had already known that she was in danger. Gazama had spearheaded an attack on Barbitt’s estate to rescue her. That had been merely half an hour after Goldof barged his way into the estate. The Black Horns knights had killed Barbitt, and Nashetania was now under their protection. Three knight orders had declared they would stay by Nashetania’s side, so there was no longer any danger to her life. What’s more, Barbitt’s plan had apparently been to take the princess to the capital and kill her there. At the time Goldof attacked the estate, her life had not yet been in danger.
In other words, even if Goldof hadn’t come to fight for her, the Black Horns knights would have saved Nashetania anyway. Basically, his fierce struggle had been entirely pointless. But the young knight said, “Your courage in facing the enemy all alone to save the princess was greater than that of any. Every knight should learn from your example.” That confused Goldof—this was the first time in his life anyone had ever praised him for anything.
A knock sounded on the sickroom door. The knight snapped to attention and ushered in the guest. Wearing a simple white dress, Nashetania approached his bedside with graceful steps. Goldof felt hot, and his heart pounded so hard that blood oozed out from his unhealed wounds.
“So you’re all right. First, let me ask your name.” Nashetania spoke gracefully. She seemed completely different from when they had first spoken.
Blushing, he introduced himself.
“Goldof…That’s a nice name.”
He couldn’t even hear what she was saying. He was so entranced, he couldn’t think.
“Sir, a thanks is in order…” the knight beside them said.
But Nashetania indicated with a gesture that it was unnecessary. “Sir Bov, please step outside. I wish to speak with him privately.”
“Very well, Your Highness.”
As the knight left the sickroom, Goldof remained fixated on Nashetania. Once they were alone, her poise evaporated, and she gave him a carefree grin. “So your name is Goldof, mister? The truth is, I’m actually Nashetania. Tee-hee, does that surprise you?”
Goldof nodded. Nashetania reached out to him. He hesitated, but then accepted her handshake. It was the first time he’d ever touched a girl without violence.
“You don’t talk much, do you?” she said. “I got that impression, when we first met.”
“…Yeah.”
“How old are you? Where did you learn to use a spear?”
“That was…my first time. I’m…ten.”
“Really, te— Wait, you’re younger than me?!” Nashetania’s eyes widened in shock and she looked Goldof up and down. “Huh? What?! You don’t look…Oh, well, I guess you’ve kinda got a baby face…” Embarrassed by her ogling, Goldof turned away. Nashetania’s head tilted back and forth in bewilderment, but she seemed to be convinced, nevertheless.
After that, she asked about his wounds, touching him to make sure he was recouperating. His wounds were serious, but knowing they would all heal with time made her smile contentedly.
Talking with Nashetania evoked strange feelings from inside him. It made his heart turn clear, warm, and serene. Later, Goldof would come to understand that this feeling was called “peace.”
“Well, mister—I mean, Goldof. I forgot to ask you something important. Why did you come to save me?”
Goldof hadn’t even known what he was doing when he came after her. Unable to explain his reasons, he reflected. As he did, for some reason, he began crying. Goldof kept wiping the tears away, but they wouldn’t stop.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Are you hurt?” Goldof tried to say something, but it just wouldn’t come into words.
Nashetania smiled and said, “You don’t have to force yourself to talk. I’ll wait until you’re done.”
Goldof continued sobbing for a long time after that. He’d first woken in the afternoon, but even after the sun set, the tears wouldn’t stop coming. Nashetania waited patiently, never showing slightest sign of annoyance.
Goldof had always longed for praise. He wanted to be needed. He yearned for someone to tell him it was all right for him to live. For the first time, he’d found meaning in life. They were tears of joy. After Nashetania had left his hut, Goldof had thought to himself, I want to protect her. I want her to need me. And I want to see her again. And now she was safe, and she was right there in front of him. He wept with happiness.
Eventually, he stopped. After listening to his long confession, Nashetania said, “Goldof, I’m glad that you were born in this country. Thank you, truly, so much for saving me. Please, let me show you my thanks.”
“There’s…nothing…I want.”
Nashetania shook her head. “You’ve done so much for me, even though you’d never met me before and you didn’t know me. I have to repay you somehow.”
But there was nothing that Goldof wanted now. He’d already gotten his wish—to see Nashetania one more time. For her to thank him. What more could he need? Goldof racked his brain, and finally he said, “I have…just…one request.”
“What is it?”
“If…you’re ever…in danger…again…” He hesitated to say it out loud. He was anxious, not sure if it was allowed. “Can I…come save you…again?”
When Nashetania heard that, she put a hand over her mouth. A hint of wetness welled in her eyes. “Of course, please, come save me. Come save me again and again.”
Goldof was so relieved, the tears he thought had dried spilled out once again.
That was how Goldof became a knight in Nashetania’s service. The civil war ended, and Nashetania returned to the capital. King Nalphtoma was stripped of all authority and reduced to a mere figurehead on the throne. Nashetania designated a high chancellor who would take on the responsibilities of governing the nation.
By Nashetania’s decree, a lower-ranking knight named Kenzo Auora adopted Goldof, and so the boy’s surname was changed, as well. Goldof learned how to read and write, how to wield a spear, manners and etiquette, as well as the tenets of chivalry.
Life for him at the royal palace couldn’t be called comfortable. His humble origins made him feel obligated, and many of the other knights were jealous of his incredible strength. But none of that mattered compared to the joy he obtained by being with Nashetania. He could suppress the black flames in his heart if it meant being with Nashetania. He was able to forget his past violence. Goldof had been reborn.
But as Nashetania turned out to be an outrageous tomboy, Goldof was confounded by how often she caused trouble for everyone.
When Goldof was fourteen years old, he became the youngest-ever victor of the Tournament Before the Divine. As his reward, he was promoted captain of the Black Horns knights. But in practice, the previous captain, Gazama, was really in command. Goldof’s title was in name only.
He also received one more reward: a hieroform that had been passed down through generations in Piena’s royal family. Four hundred years ago, the King of Piena had ordered its construction in the utmost secrecy. Even the elder of All Heavens Temple didn’t know it had been created. Goldof was not allowed to tell anyone of its existence or its power.
The hieroform was called the Helm of Allegiance, and it was charged with the power of the Saint of Words. When the wearer’s liege was captured, the helmet would activate automatically. First, it would make a sound like a bell to alert the wearer to the danger. No one else could hear the sound. Then the wearer and their liege would be able to communicate at will. No matter how far apart they were, they could hear even the gentlest whisper from each other. The Helm had one drawback, however: It only activated when the wearer’s liege was captured. If the liege was in danger, but not specifically captured, then the helmet would not react at all.
Goldof wore the helmet at all times, never letting it leave his person. He’d even worn it at socially inappropriate times, making him the butt of some jokes.
Goldof was in love with Nashetania; he wouldn’t deny that. But more importantly, he had sworn a solemn oath of loyalty to her. Love did fade, but loyalty was endless, and Goldof believed that a bond of fealty was far deeper than one of passion.
Nashetania was a good master.
Her willfulness did often cause trouble. Sometimes she would sneak out of the castle on her own to talk to dubious characters. Sometimes, she would overwhelm her retainers with impossible requests. Her behavior was rarely befitting of a princess. The greatest stir she’d ever caused had been her tantrum because she wanted to be a Saint. But still, everything she did was, in her own way, with her people and the country in mind.
I will not be a princess who is simply there to be protected. I’ll defend the people, she had said, puffing up with pride. That was Nashetania: the girl who made him worry, the girl who was dear to him, the girl who made him proud.
Nashetania was Goldof’s raison d’être.
This must be a bad dream, Goldof told himself. If he closed his eyes and opened them again, he’d surely wake up. Nashetania won’t be the seventh; she’ll still be the liege I swore to protect, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut.
“…”
After a few blind moments, he opened them again. Nightmarish reality lay unchanged before him. He was in the Howling Vilelands. With him were the other five Braves and one impostor; his beloved Nashetania was not among them. If this is a nightmare, let me wake up now, he mentally implored as he opened his eyes, but the reality was the same.
It was the afternoon of the seventeenth day after the Evil God’s awakening. The Braves of the Six Flowers had made it through the Cut-Finger Forest and now stood before the massive ravine dividing the Howling Vilelands.
“Meooow! That’s huge! I’ve never seen nothin’ so big!” Hans was prancing about in front of the ravine. It had to be more than a hundred meters deep. Its vastness stunned the others—Fremy alone maintained her composure. Goldof gazed vacantly at the gorge from a little ways away.
“I can’t believe it. Fiends carved out this whole thing?” Rolonia marveled.
“The fiends have been preparing for their battle with the Braves of the Six Flowers for three hundred years. Digging a ravine like this is nothing to them,” said Fremy.
“How will we cross it?” Mora asked. “Tgurneu will eventually notice our departure from the forest. The fiends will surge in, and we’ll be surrounded.” Their expressions were grave as they discussed the situation. Goldof didn’t join in. He just stood in silence.
It had been four days since Nashetania had told them all that she was the seventh and then disappeared. For Goldof, those days had been an unending nightmare. Everything in front of him seemed so terribly far away. His thoughts wouldn’t settle down, and he felt hollow, as if he’d abandoned his emotions somewhere. Was he sad? Was he angry? He couldn’t even figure out that much.
All of his memories felt vague to him: Rolonia’s appearance, their excursion into the Howling Vilelands, their fight with Tgurneu, Adlet figuring out Tgurneu’s plot to trick Mora, their talk at the Bud of Eternity, and how they’d all worked together to get through the Cut-Finger Forest. Goldof couldn’t remember much of anything. Fremy and Mora had said that they were suspicious of him, and Adlet had tried many times to encourage him. But not even that mattered to him.
“Isn’t there a bridge, Fremy?” asked Adlet.
“There is. One at the northern end, and another at the southern end. But I don’t think either one is an option. Cargikk’s minions are waiting for us there, and the bridges are set up to immediately self-destruct if we ever get close to crossing.”
“Hey, Fremy,” Chamo interjected. “Aren’t there any secret paths? Like some way to get across safely without the bridges?”
“There’d be no need, would there? Since the fiends always use the bridges.”
The group tossed around some ideas for how to cross the ravine. Goldof couldn’t join in. Even if he did try, his thoughts wouldn’t come together. If he attempted to talk, he wouldn’t know what to say. Four days ago, Goldof had lost the ability to speak fluently. It had been a very long time since Goldof had been that taciturn boy. Over the past six years, he’d learned the speech and conduct appropriate for a knight. But now, he couldn’t remember how he had talked before.
He looked out over the ravine. He wasn’t trying to devise a way to cross it. He was looking for Nashetania. In the four days he’d been in the Howling Vilelands, his search for her had not stopped.
“…”
He recalled the events of four days ago, after Nashetania had confessed to her crime and fled into the forest.
Three of the Braves ran through the dark forest: Hans, Chamo, and Mora. They were in pursuit of Nashetania, who had just escaped them. Adlet was passed out on the ground while Fremy treated his wounds. It was well into the night, and dawn was close.
In the dark forest, Goldof stood alone, in front of the temple.
“Has Nashetania come this way, Goldof?” Mora asked him from within the forest.
He shook his head.
“We have no leads, either. It seems we’ve lost sight of her entirely. I’d rather kill her tonight, if possible, though,” said Mora.
Mora had said that though the Phantasmal Barrier had been nullified, its effects would continue for a while until the mist had cleared entirely. Nashetania would not be able to escape the barrier yet, not for the whole night. Hans and Mora had said that if they failed to kill her within that time, she’d only cause more trouble down the line.
“She seems to be using some strange technique. She has vanished before my eyes many times, and Hans has witnessed the same. You be cautious, too.”
Goldof didn’t even nod. Mora sighed and left.
Sometime after Mora’s departure, a voice came from within the temple. “It sounds like you have them fooled, Goldof.” Nashetania emerged from the large hole in the temple floor. Her armor was cracked and her sword broken, and she was pressing one hand to a gash on her arm. Her face revealed her deep exhaustion. “If you hadn’t been here, I would’ve died…Hans really is a terrifying man,” she said, smiling.
The Braves had her cornered. She didn’t stand a chance against Hans or Chamo, and the assassin had already figured out her mysterious disappearing technique. When she’d run to Goldof, he’d covered for her without hesitation.
“The barrier’s effects will wear off soon. Maybe I can get away now…ngh.” She grimaced. The wounds Hans had given her must have been painful.
“…Why…?” Goldof questioned.
“That’s a rather vague inquiry. What are you trying to ask me?” Nashetania spread both arms with a wry smile. That was the Nashetania he knew: willful, mischievous, honest, and without artifice. Always brimming with confidence, she treated people of every station equally. Though she caused the citizenry trouble, she was also beloved. The girl he knew was still right there.
“Why…why…have you…?” Confused, he couldn’t put it into words.
Seeing his condition, Nashetania gave him a smile that said, Oh, you’re hopeless. “You may not believe this, Goldof, but I am the seventh. I came here with the intention of killing the Braves of the Six Flowers.”
No matter how many times she said it, he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to.
“No one is controlling me. I’m not doing this because I have no other choice. I fought of my own free will, and I lost. But I won’t give up. I must keep fighting, as long as I live.”
“…What…for? What was the reason…you betrayed us?”
“For the sake of my ambition,” said Nashetania, and for the first time, the look on her face became something unfamiliar to him. Her eyes were filled with serene strength of will and unwavering determination. “I have an ambition and I fear no hardship in accomplishing my goal. No matter what sacrifices I must make, even if it destroys my reputation, so be it. I’ll stake my life on it.”
“…Ambition…” Goldof muttered. That word didn’t sound like her at all.
“Yes. I can’t describe my feelings as a ‘dream’ or an ‘ideal’ or any other pretty-sounding words. Dreams can be abandoned, and ideals can be discarded, but when you have an ambition, you can’t be stopped until you’re dead.” She leaned in toward him. Her face scared him. He’d never seen this expression on his liege, whom he’d sworn to spend his life defending. But this was who she really was.
“You wouldn’t understand. Someone who’s never had ambition could never understand how I feel.” Nashetania watched Goldof fall silent and giggled.
Thinking about it now, his relationship with Nashetania went back a long way. But perhaps they’d never spoken candidly to each other before, not even once. Goldof wanted to protect her, but he’d never gotten to know her that deeply.
“What will you…do now?” he asked.
“I’ll escape, and then go meet my comrade to think about what happens next.”
“Your…comrade?”
“That’s right. I have a colleague named Dozzu who has been with me since before I met you. We share the same passionate ambition, and we fight together. I would never betray Dozzu, and Dozzu would never betray me, either.”
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