Chapter 73 (Visitors)
The Greatest Failure.
Being too naive.
With such expressionー miscalculation, that is what the person thought.
Although the original purpose was being achieved, the person could not but regard it as a failure by some unexpected miscalculation.
That is the impression which I got.
I don't know what the miscalculation is was...
Though I don't knowー.
I don't like word of a failure.
What do you think of a human being who have been talking about failures?
I myself at the start is some kind of 『Failure』.
I'd also sometimes got some heartless words being thrown at me.
That's whyー It feels painful.
"From the person who had created the orphanage in the country of the end, we were told that we're failures see... But I guess, that makes sense."
Her expression turned sour.
She has a faraway look in resignation.
"And also, from the start, I feel that I was out of place even when I'm still at the sixth institution... My existence, somehow, somewhere I feel there's a mistake. Even when I'm in this academy, I also feel such thing all the time. That I... by the end of the time, I was just a foreign being..."
A foreign being.
That word is the words that Lokia told me a while ago.
"I have no place, where I belong."
Kyurie-san express loneliness on her face.
However, she seems to have not realized that she show such expression on her face.
"That's why, I tried to find information regarding that woman from Noisー."
"You're not going to disappear, right?"
If the business with Nois is over.
She might lose the reason to stay in this academy.
Anxiety starts to swell from within my heart.
I feel such uneasiness filling my chest.
"Kurohiko...?"
Someday...
When Kyurie-san is not around.
When her figure could not be found within the academy.
Her stuff at the girl's dormitory is also gone.
When I could not find her anywhere.
Just a small note being left behind.
Since such possibility might happen... I get scared.
"You're not going to disappear suddenly, aren't you?"
This time it was my turn to ask.
Kyurie-san does not answer.
Her lips look like wanderingー looking for a reply.
That's why I,
"I will make it, is that won't do?"
"What is?"
"A place where Kyurie-san consider where she belongs to."
"You're going to make it?"
"If there's no place that you belongs to, then I should just make it... is that won't do?"
If there's no such place, then I should just make it.
"Such a thing, is it not okay?"
The feeling where one's feel like a foreign being.
If I had to say it, I also feel such thing.
Lonelinessー that's where the feeling of being out of place born from.
Incidentally, I come to my sense.
In a sense, I feel that I'm a very lonely person myself.
I feel there's a thin wall between the people who live in this world and me.
That is how I feel.
If I think about it like that, one can say that I have similarity with her.
I show a bitter smile.
"If by any chance Kyurie-san feels being out of place then... I'm sure that we're actually a very similar person."
I began to feel a little embarrassed.
"T-That's why if we're the same bird of feather then, I wonder if I can become a place to share such feelingー, that is what I had thought."
"Ah right, come to think of it, You're not a person from this country huh..."
".........................."
"Kurohiko?"
"To tell you the truth, that is wrong."
"Wrong? What is?"
With a bitter smile on me.
"Though I was told to kept this secret, to tell you the truth, I'm not a person coming from the eastern country."
I said it... ....................................................
"And also not from anywhere on this continent."
"Is that so?"
"I came from a farther away place... a place that probably the people from this continent never have been to... as for the detailed story of it... it's a bit complicated, but..."
"... I see. I'm convinced. Sometimes I feel unfamiliar with the dialect that occasionally mixed in your way of talking... so that's why huh?"
"That's why... I as well, somehow understand your feeling being out of place, that's how I feel."
*Fuuu*, Kyurie-san heaves a sigh from her mouth.
"I knew it; you're a kind person..."
There was a brief silence...
"E-Emm, Kyurie-san."
"Nn?"
"People... I think they sometimes change..."
I gulped my saliva before continue talking.
"O-Of course, they won't change suddenly. But, if they try their best to change then someday they will change... that's what I thought... Therefore even if some people are convinced that they do not have a place they belong to, if they keep on trying, then I'm sure, even those people will find a place where they belongsー."
Kyurie-san gazed at her own hands in deep thought.
"People can change, eh?"
"I'm sorry... somehow, I feel like I make it sounds like someone great."
*Haaa*
I guess this is my limit huh?
I wish I'm able to say something more, just like a protagonist from some manga here.
"I understand. I will talk to you before I leave..."
"Eh?"
*Heartbeat* Toward the words that Kyurie-san said, I raised my head.
"I won't stay silent..."
"Kyurie-san..."
"By all means, I will."
I feel glad if she said so.
However,
Those words at the same time means,
That she's going to leave the academy after her business is over.
.................................................
I look at the ceiling while lying in bed.
"What did I do wrong, I wonder?"
I muttered to myself.
Currently, the time is late at night.
Kyurie-san had already returned to her dormitory.
I'm alone in my own room.
After that conversation, I ate the dinner that Mia-san had prepared beforehand, and then took a bath.
Or rather...
After I had come out from the bath, I realized that the hot water I was immersed with was the hot water that Kyurie-san had entered before.
And I also noticed that the bath towel that neatly being folded inside the basket is also the one Kyurie-san previously had used.
I wonder if it's okay for me to use that bath towel?
...............................
In the end, I used another new towel.
Unn.
In such a time, I should not forget my gentleman mind.
There's a line a man should not cross.
Then after that, I climbed on my bed and gazing at the dark ceiling inside my room.
"Is there something I can do I wonder?"
Kyurie Velstein.
If possible, I wish to be able to spend academy life with her and graduate together.
However, it is impossible for the current me.
I was not enough as a 『reason』 to make her stay in this academy.
My request earlier.
Did not reach her completely.
I want you to stay.
It seems like that feeling of mine was being transmitted, though....
I wonder how can I make her stay?
.................................................
Is it good if Nois were not being caught?
No...
That is wrong.
It is wrong if my wish were to come true, and her wish does not.
That's why I will help to fulfill Kyurie-san wish without holding back.
I will leave the problem regarding Kyurie-san until after we catch Nois.
If by any chance she leaves this place to look for 『that person』 thenー...
"..............................."
At that time, should I follow her and leave this school?
I don't know...
"Well, first and foremost is to catch Nois first huh?"
Nois Dis.
A former sixth institution member.
Today I was going to ask Kyurie-san about the person in question indirectly but... I was unable to do so due to the atmosphere from a while ago.
Besides Kyurie-san did say that if she can, she does not want to involve me with it.
That's why she might not going to tell me in detail.
If that is the case then... unexpectedly I will meet Lokia in the academy sooner than later.
A man with a sly face resurfaced in my mind.
Lokia huh?
He seems like he wants something from me, but I wonder what was that all about.
『If you make a mistake from the right path; you have the potential to become the evilest person.』
"........................................."
To think that he said I could become the evilest person.
I feel that those words are more suited for Hibigami though.
Hibigamiー Oh right...
I have to think about the impending match against him later.
I think the current me has become stronger than before.
I realize that I have become more powerful after the fight against the giant's monsters.
But, if I have to say the thing that makes me realize it most then, compared than before, 『that sense』ー I can feel the 『beast』 that is far away...
Somehow that 『beast』 will surface when I was fighting, and I was at my wit's end, or in a pinch.
I wonder if it attracted toward the sense of crisis that was born inside of me.
At this stage, I can think of it that the 『beast』 consciousness will surface if there's no other choice.
Consequently, I was having a hard time to keep my consciousness from being swallowed completely at the time I fight against the blue goblins.
And I hardly feel such a thing at the time when I fight against the giants.
That meansー I did not saw the Giants as a threat.
Thus, that means I have become stronger.
I become more powerful.
However, precisely because I know that I've become stronger thatー I feel Hibigami is still far away.
I wonder how can I beat that man?
For the time being Kyurie-san is going to train me but...
After that, what should I do?
...........................................
As expected, I also need to think about this carefully.
"................................"
Kyurie Velstein.
Nois Dis.
Lokia.
Hibigami.
The people from the sixth institution.
At the time Makina-san told me about them for the first time, I didn't think that I was going to get involved with them like this.
I wonder if I will continue getting entangled with them.
Though I also hope always to get entangled with Kyurie-san...
When I was thinking of such thing,
I fell asleep.
......................................
Two days passed without any incident.
Sacred ruin is still being forbidden to enter.
If the blockade is going to last long, then it will affect the academy ranking at the end of the term... <TLN: each term is six-month duration in my country>
From there, some official in the academy suggested an alternative for students evaluation by doing a competitive competition between students, instead of doing sacred ruin exploration...
Like that, making the assessment easier because the ranking comes out clearly.
But still, as to how long the blockade of the sacred ruin is not yet being decided.
It seems like in the end; they choose to wait and see what happen first.
I also need to do my best at doing the other things since the sacred ruin won't be opened soon.
Like that, I spent my time normally.
Though I feel more enthusiasm when doing battle practice with Kyurie-san now.
Anyway, right now I need her power to get stronger.
It must be because she already knows the prospect that I will fight against Hibigami in the future, she also makes the lessons more seriously than before.
Looking at Kyurie-san, there's no particular change either.
Also, these past two days, Lokia haven't yet come into contact.
I didn't even see his figure within the academy.
I wondered if he has gone somewhere.
But it was probably him trying to gather information regarding Nois, I guess?
These past two days, during lunch, I spent it with five people, they are Kyurie-san, Cecil-san, Zix, and Hirgiz-san.
It's not like we arranged beforehand, we just gather for no particular reason and then eat normally.
And me taking a turn having lunch with Kyurie-san or Cecil-san has ceased.
And then regarding Aira-san, she seems to have reconciled with the upper-classman which whom she makes a group previously.
The upperclassman appears to have approached her with an apology as reconciliation.
Be that as it may, it was the upperclassman who selfish broke the relationship in the first place.
Although I feel like seeing them as small insect, nevertheless, it is because of the good character of Aira-san that she accepted the reconciliation.
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