Seishun Buta Yarou Series - Volume 9 - Chapter 4.1

Chapter 4 - Home

1

The noise of Sakuta’s alarm penetrated the void where his mind had gone, forcing him to face the fact of his own existence.

As his mind came into focus, his eyes snapped open.

The first thing he saw was that same old white ceiling. That round light fixture. The six-mat space, the confines of which he knew by heart. His bed, his desk, and a set of shelves—not much else.

Sakuta’s room. Where he’d lived for two years, since their move to Fujisawa. A space all his own, where he could relax. And that sure came as a relief.

“I’m home, then,” he said aloud—to make it real.

Then he made the alarm stop ringing.

The screen showed Wednesday, March 18.

He’d spent a whole day in a different potential world and only made it back this morning.

Yawning, he heaved himself out of bed. But something in the air felt…odd.

It was definitely his room. The air on his skin, the vibe—everything told him he was back in his world. He knew that instinctively.

But there was something in the room that didn’t belong. Like a smile he couldn’t recognize. And he located the source atop his desk.

A notebook. Left open.

He looked closer and found a note scrawled across both pages.

 Other Sakuta, fix your shit.

He knew that handwriting. It looked like his. A lot like his. It almost certainly was his. But he hadn’t personally written the note.

So who had?

There was no doubt in his mind. The line itself spelled it out.

“A note from another Sakuta…”

Probably the one from the potential world he’d visited the day before. While he’d been in that world, that world’s Sakuta must have been here.

The writing in the notebook proved it.

There was more.

 When you get back, put this letter in Mai’s mailbox.

Sakuta wasn’t sure what that meant.

“What letter?”

There was a sheet of paper next to the notebook, clearly torn out of it. It was folded in half, then folded again, with To Mai written on the top. Also in his handwriting.

He opened it up, wondering what was inside.

 I promise I’ll make you happy, Mai.

That was it.

“Yeah, buddy, I got that much.”

It seemed like the other Sakuta had a pretty clear handle on his current state of affairs.

The letter was signed From your Sakuta.

That was definitely something he’d do.

“Objectively pretty obnoxious.”

And a bit creepy.

Maybe he should do that more selectively.

He balled the letter up and tossed it in the trash can next to his desk. It hit the bottom with a satisfying thunk.

Then he tore a fresh sheet of paper out of the notebook and wrote the exact same note himself. As neat as he could manage. Trying for better handwriting than the other Sakuta. Then he folded it up neatly.

The notebook was still lying open, so he closed it—and found a second note lying under it. In much smaller letters, it said…

 What do you think of Touko Kirishima?

“What the…?”

Why was this a question?

“No strong opinions either way.”

That was his gut reaction. He was aware that her work was popular right now, but he didn’t really care.

Why had the other Sakuta left him this question? It probably had something to do with the other Sakuta’s world, but what, he had no idea. And he didn’t really have time to sit pondering the unknowable.

He’d made it safely back to his world.

But had yet to solve the problems facing him here.

He rolled his shirt up and checked, but the white scar on his side was still there.

Proof this wasn’t over.

Sakuta moved to the living room to investigate further. He punched every number he knew into the phone—Mai, Rio, Yuuma, even Nodoka—but never even got a dial tone.

Kaede wasn’t here. Nasuno was sleeping on the kotatsu. He figured Kaede was with their mom and hadn’t come home. If she’d forgotten Sakuta existed, then odds were she didn’t even know she had a home in Fujisawa.

Sakuta wasn’t getting his hopes up.

But he needed to know for sure. He grabbed the folded letter and left the apartment.

Took the elevator downstairs and went outside.

It was the start of the morning commute, and there were several suits and students headed toward the station.

Sakuta waltzed out into the middle of the street and took his shirt off, just to be totally obvious.

A middle-aged businessman strolled right past.

A college girl never even glanced his way.

He stood there for a solid five minutes, trying a good thirty passersby, but nobody made eye contact, and nobody called the police to report a streaker. And no cop cars rolled up on him.

He didn’t have much choice left. He grimaced and committed to the strategy the other Sakuta had devised.

He put his shirt back on and stepped through the doors of Mai’s place. He opened her mailbox and put the letter in.

He wasn’t worried.

Somehow, even in this predicament, he was having fun.

It was almost like he’d just scored himself a date.

Mai had said she’d be back from Yamanashi tomorrow—Thursday, March 19.

He couldn’t exactly wait outside the post boxes until then, so he went back home, fed Nasuno, and ate breakfast.

Once that was done, he washed his face, brushed his teeth, took a leak, and put his uniform on.

“Here goes nothing,” he said, to no one at all, and left the house.

He did consider heading to Yamanashi to see Mai. He still wanted to. But she hadn’t specified the exact location, and Yamanashi was a whole-ass prefecture. Tracking her down didn’t feel like a realistic goal. He’d just have to stay here and look forward to tomorrow.

He still was a bit anxious and unsettled. How could he not be?

He was hanging on to the end of a thread, and no one could even tell he was there. Rio had described it as a statistical state in which he both did and didn’t exist. Sakuta had no clue what the hell that actually meant, but he was sure it was right. That his very existence was trembling like a leaf in the wind.

But that’s exactly why he chose to go to school.

To do the normal thing.

Sakuta hoped doing what he always did would help keep him rooted to this world. His routine should help him personally feel that he was actually here.

So he walked at his usual pace. Ten minutes to Fujisawa Station. The typical morning bustle. Suits and students on their way to the office or school, filing through the JR gates or leaving them to transfer to the Odakyu Enoshima Line.

Like he did every day, he slipped through the crowds, out the south side, and across the fifty-yard connective bridge. He tapped his train pass on the Enoden Fujisawa Station gate and stepped onto the platform.

He made it in time for his usual train.

As it pulled out, he took the vocab book out of his bag. He memorized one word at a time, then used the red plastic to cover the answers and make sure he remembered them all.

That got him all the way to Shichirigahama.

He joined the throng of Minegahara students heading to the school itself. At the shoe lockers, he changed into his slippers. He saw Tomoe, and Yuuma walked right in front of him, but neither one noticed Sakuta. Nobody could tell he was there. It was that simple.

He’d known it would be like this, but it still hurt to have friends sail right past him. But the warning bell rang, so he hustled to class.

No use hanging his head now.

He had something to pin his faith on.

He could do this.

It might not be scientific evidence—but he had someone he could rely on. Someone who mattered.

He had Mai.

He was sure she would find him. That was something he could believe in.

Sakuta wouldn’t be stuck in this invisible-man life for long. He’d be back to normal before he knew it.

It was best he stuck to his routine so he didn’t have to scramble to catch up.

Third-term finals were over, so all they were doing was giving back answer sheets and going over the questions. Sakuta listened intently anyway, figuring it would benefit him later.

But since this world couldn’t perceive him, he didn’t get his answers back. He still took notes on anything he was sure he’d missed.

If their teacher said, “This is often on college entrance exams,” he paid extra attention.

They only had classes in the morning, but he took all four periods seriously.

Once the end-of-day homeroom wrapped up, students with clubs or practice stuck around and ate their lunches. Everyone else headed home. Sakuta usually joined them, but since there was nothing to do back home but study, he headed to the library, eating the red-bean bun he’d brought with him on the way.

If he was just studying, he might as well do it at school.

“Heyo,” he said, opening the door. There was no one in the library. No long ago, there’d been quite a lot of third-years prepping for exam season. But they’d all graduated now.

He took a seat by a window with an ocean view and opened a math study guide. They’d been going over derivatives in class, and he felt like he should practice that some more. He didn’t know what these were used for, but since they would be on the test, he had to wrap his head around them.

He wanted to enjoy college life with Mai. Wanted to see her smile. And it might improve his own future.

Barring a single bathroom run, he stuck to his desk, very focused. Several students came by and asked the librarian questions, but he didn’t let them distract him.

Finally, a voice said, “Closing up,” and pulled him out of it. The librarian was a quiet type in her thirties, and she was doing a last scan of the room, checking between each shelf to make sure no students were still here.

She walked right past Sakuta without seeing him.

He quickly gathered up his things and slipped out the doors before she locked them. It would suck to get locked in.

Once he was in the hall, he realized it was already dark out. He looked west; the sun was already down. There was just a faint glow out beyond Enoshima, across the waters behind the mountains in Odawara, Yugawara, and Hakone. Just the last traces of the sunset, and even as he looked, those, too, faded to night.

The sports teams were no longer shouting. The lights were turning off.

The school was shutting down before his very eyes.

Sakuta had been going to Minegahara for two years but had never seen this side of it. A whim struck him, and he decided to stick around until it was all done.

This was likely his sole chance to see this.

If he’d been visible, the teachers would have told him to hurry home and kicked him out.

All the lights on the third floor were off, and the first two floors were close behind. Only the faculty office was still aglow.

At just past eight, that went out, too.

Not a single light stayed on anywhere in the school. But even so, it didn’t get too dark to see his feet.

The emergency exit lights were on, and there was moonlight coming in through the windows.

Sakuta waited for the last teacher to leave and headed for the shoe lockers. He changed and left. The moonlight seemed extra bright.

He looked up but couldn’t find the moon itself. The building was in the way.

Continuing to scan the skies, he wheeled around onto the athletic field.

Nothing blocked his view here.

The moon hung in the night sky above. Not quite full. He stood in the center of the field, and it looked down at him.

This was a key location in his life.

He’d asked Mai out here.

Not even a year ago. Only ten months. But their time together had been enough that just standing here made him miss her.

Tomorrow was so far away.

He wished it could be tomorrow right now.

Heading home and going to sleep was probably the best way to make that happen.

He turned to go—and saw someone on the edge of the field. Behind the net.

Was a teacher still here?

That was his first thought.

But he soon knew better.

The figure took one step, and that was all he needed.

He knew how she walked.

She stepped out from the net, onto the field.

The moonlight caught her.

“Mai…,” he said.

She was coming his way, her steps light. Like always.

Heading directly toward him.

Her eyes turned his way. Like she could see him.

Their eyes met.

He wasn’t imagining it. She held his gaze, not looking away. He didn’t dare move a muscle.

Why was Mai here?

She wasn’t due back until tomorrow.

Why was she coming right toward him, no hesitation, like nothing was wrong?

Even though the world itself could no longer perceive him.

He had believed she would find him, yet he still wondered.

But that doubt did not last long.

Mai was coming his way. He could see her face now, and nothing else mattered.

He’d wanted to see her, and now she was here. She was coming to him. That fact vanquished all other concerns.

Mai walked right toward him like she always did. But ten yards out, her confident look began to waver. She couldn’t hold back anymore. Her pace shifted, growing faster. Five yards out, it turned into a run, and she flung herself at Sakuta, her arms around his neck, holding him tight.

There was no distance left between them.

Her breath was in his ear, slightly ragged. Their chests pressed together. He could feel her heart beating fast, the ba-bump, ba-bump telling him how she felt.

He must have scared her. He figured he should say sorry. Explain how things had come to this.

It all stemmed from his hesitancy. His inability to work through his feelings about his mother. He felt like he should tell her this but…couldn’t.

Before he did, she whispered in his ear. “Sakuta.”

“Yes?” he asked.

Her arms pulled him even closer. “One day, we’ll have to make a home together,” she whispered.

Her voice was calm, quiet, and warm.

He could feel Mai on his eardrum, and that feeling spread out, seeping into every inch of him. Like her essence was wrapping itself around the fears inside his heart.

That one line robbed him of speech. All the words he’d been getting ready to say just crumbled away, leaving not a trace behind. Like they had never existed in the first place.

She’d said exactly what he needed to hear.

What he’d always wanted to hear.

What he’d long been searching for.

But Sakuta hadn’t known he couldn’t find it, didn’t even know what he was looking for.

You can’t search for what you don’t know. And you definitely can’t find it.

And yet Mai had found it and brought it to him.

A gift.

He had nothing to offer in return, but the heat of the moment warmed him up, and he hugged her back. His arms expressed his joy, his gratitude, everything he couldn’t find the words to say.