Sumi de ii desu. Kamawanaide kudasai - Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The beginning: two years worth of months and days 2

I never did find Kiyomizu nii-sama’s letter . It definitely fell near the pond, but it might have gotten blown out of the grounds .

Brushing the dirt off my hands, I trudged back to the room only to find Shuusui and Nagikaze who had already finished their training sitting on cushions .
Incidentally, that moron was sitting with a composed face sipping tea carefreely .
Who do you think you are!!

“Welcome back, Nogiku… . What happened? Your hands”
“You’re late, it’s almost time for supper”
“… . . ri, ght… . ”

Even though Shuusui had noticed me and had greeted me, my heart was still clouded over so I could only give a half-hearted answer . Noticing my hands, Nagikaze thought it was weird and worried about me .
And the main culprit was even now still slurping his tea and didn’t even glance over here .

That kind of tsundere isn’t cute, you brat .

“Um, Nagikaze and Shuusui . Did you see a paper?”
“Paper?”
“What kind of paper?”

My last ray of hope……it wasn’t, but I still asked just in case . If they had seen it flying away, or had seen it fallen somewhere, I just wanted any information no matter how small .
The important treasure I had kept in the chest of drawers . I learned from this incident that no matter if they were family or friends, you shouldn’t hand over your prized possessions . Because they’ll get tossed out the lattice window .

“let’s see, it’s white, and I got it from Kiyomizu nii-sama, and I saw it fall down near the pond . I haven’t seen what it said even once . Ran-chan read it but even when I ask he just gives a dumb answer, so”

The things I wanted to say kind of got jumbled up, but they probably got most of it .
But actually, why am I still not able to talk well like everyone else even when I’ve turned seven years old? Even though I can speak well here and there . …… . will I be okay?

Hearing my words, Nagikaze put his hand on his chin and groaned, while Shuusui looked in the opposite direction and also started groaning .
W, what’s wrong?

“Um, sorry about that . We probably threw it away”
“So that’s what that paper was”

What!! It had already passed on from this world .
When I asked, they said they had found it fallen in the pond, and thinking it was trash they threw it into the stove as fuel .

What a shock .
It wasn’t like they had done anything wrong, and what they did was the natural response .
But, I just couldn’t control the hot something that welled up in my chest .

“W,what… . did it say, did you see?”


“… . . It was all wet so there was no way we could read it”
“… . yeah”
“I see . I… uuuu . . ”
“Nogiku?”

I see . So it was already gone .
But, there were only five years of being apart from nii-sama . Only five years, so it was okay . There were some people who wanted to meet someone but couldn’t, so, with the other person still being alive, and on top of that not that far, was… .
That’s why it was so shameful that my eyes got hot and my nose started to sting .

“You… . ”
“I, I still hadn’t read it yet, and nii-sama told me to read it, but I didn’t read it yet, but now it’s gone, and I didn’t read it, my, my favorite, favoriiiite, …uu… . uuuu… . ”
“Don’t cry, don’t cry Nogiku . Come over here”

Crying was pathetic . What was I so sad about? It wasn’t like nii-sama had died or anything . I’m an adult on the inside, I should be able to keep hold of my feelings, so it was a mystery why all these emotions came out .

But it was like this since the beginning .
No matter how hard I tried, at that critical moment my body refused to understand even if I tried to suppress it .

Children couldn’t become adults, either way .

“I’ll do this, so stop crying”

Just when I thought he had said that because he was fed up since I didn’t move towards him no matter how long he waited, Shuusui himself came closer and hugged me tightly .

Just like Ujino nii-sama had done for me, Shuusui rubbed my back . His hands were warm .

“Uuu, ,,hhiii, ggh”
“Ah, ah, there there,”

Even as I cried, in the corner of my mind was the thought that maybe because he had grown up watching the brothers, even his way of comforting was the same .

“aa, uuu…”
“Nogiku really is a crybaby—”
“There there . I’ll comfort you too . ”
“Wah, uuu, ,,, uu?”

Nagikaze who had been watching us from the side hugged both me and Shuusui all at once .

“Th, then me too! ~,,I’m sorry! I didn’t think you would cry that much”

Just because you didn’t think I’d cry doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want, you little whelp!!
was what I thought as Rangiku flung himself on us and squeezed, but I didn’t have the motivation to say anything more .

Well, the fact that I was resentful and angry was something else . I will not forgive you, you know .

But what’s with this situation?
Four children, all hugging together in a clump in their room at night . Me in the middle was just like being in a cocoon .

“Shu, Shuusui . Nagi”
“Hey dinner-… . What are you doing?”

That night I had a dream .
Of a person with black hair and kind eyes .

The next day .

“Hey, Ran-chan . What did the paper say?”
“Stay well; that kind of thing, I already told you . ”
“In detail”
“… . . Sorry I forgot”
“Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!”

“You come and get yelled at too”
“You first”