Sword Art Online - Volume 22 - Chapter 4.3

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In addition to the capital of Serenity, there was one village or town in each of the four cardinal directions. The village in the eastern region of Teal Hills was called Leute. There was a teleport gate in the square at the center of town that would take you instantly to the capital. 

Merida passed through the town gate first and turned back to face the sisters. “Which do you like better, crepes or ice cream?” 

They instantly said “Crepes!” in perfect harmony. Merida gasped. 

“Y-you didn’t hesitate a moment.” 

“Hee-hee-hee.” 

The sisters chuckled and shared a brief look. Crepes were their late mother’s secret best recipe. They could eat her homemade crepes every single day: crepes sucrées, which were baked golden brown and folded around whipped cream and fruit; crepes salées, which were savory with cheese and ham; even crepes suzette, which were served with a sweet orange-citrus sauce on top. 

Even in the hospital, they had the chance to eat crepes in the cafeteria, although they weren’t quite as good as their mother’s. Since going into the clean room, that was no longer an option for Yuuki. 

Ran, on the other hand, got to have normal hospital food and could visit the cafeteria. But in a show of solidarity with Yuuki, she was only eating crepes in the virtual world, she said. Yuuki scolded her and said Ran should have some with her real body, but her sister claimed, “It doesn’t taste good if I eat them alone.” 

Merida had no idea about any of this, of course, but she seemed to sense it was a special thing for them. She pounded the chest of her camo shirt and said, “Then I’ll show you to the best crepes around!” 

“Huh…? There are more places to eat than the restaurants in the square?” Ran asked. Merida just grinned and started walking. 

The village of Leute was placed atop a little hill. The stone-cobbled main street ran past brick houses that looked like they belonged in some mountain village in the Alps. At most, Serene Garden could support about a thousand connections, and because the total number of hospice patients in the nation was around thirty thousand, it was far from ubiquitous. But since there were only five towns in this world, the number of players strolling the main street felt rather high. 

Merida took them off that crowded road packed with businesses and down a maze of alleys, turning them left and right and back and forth. 

Serene Garden had no in-game map function. Her ability to steer them around with absolute confidence spoke not just to her complete knowledge of the complicated layout of Leute but her familiarity with existing in a virtual space itself. Yuuki followed, feeling more and more curious about whatever game Merida had been playing before this one, and was just losing her sense of direction entirely when they came to a more open space again. 

There was a small terrace jutting out of the western slope of the hill that gave them a clear view of the meadow below, sparkling in the afternoon sun. Faded into the distance was a series of folds in the land as the island met the sea in fjords. That was the edge of the world. 

There was a single table on the terrace with a parasol overhead. Behind it was a tiny café exuding a sweet smell. 

“Yay, the outside table is empty!” Merida said with a smile. She circled behind the sisters and pushed them into the chairs that overlooked the meadow. Then she sat across from them and slid them menus from the table. 

“This is my favorite place to eat in Leute. This one’s on me. Order whatever you like!” 

Yuuki and Ran were briefly arrested by the beauty of the sight below them, but this comment got them to look up and shake their heads. 

“Oh, no. You’ve already shown us this wonderful place—we couldn’t ask you to pay for our food, too,” said Ran, getting up from the chair, but Merida waved her back down. 

“What are you talking about? The crepes here don’t even begin to match the value of the royal triton stag beetle. It’s the least I can possibly do!” 

“Well…if you insist…” 

Ran sat down again; Yuuki was already looking over the corkboard menu. The virtual refrigerator had no limits on what it could hold, but even still, the number of words on the menu was astonishing. There were five types of batter, ten types of cream, twenty varieties of fruit, thirty sauces, and fifty toppings, all of which were available to combine. The possibilities were essentially endless. 

“Amazing…but how am I supposed to choose…?” Yuuki wailed. 

Luckily, Ran spurred her on with a cheery smile. “Then I’ll go with smooth honey for my batter, milky whipped cream, ruby strawberries and fresh mandarins for my fruit, rich chocolate sauce, and toppings of fresh pistachio and caramel crunch!” 

“……” 

Yuuki stared at her older sister, aghast, as she tapped the items on the touch pad menu. Even Merida looked shocked. There were many ways in which Yuuki was inferior to her sister, and foremost among them was the ability to make decisions. She couldn’t recall ever seeing Ran waffle between options in her life. 

When her order was in, she looked up and asked, “What are you having, Yuu?” 

“…The same as you, Sis,” she said, waving the white flag. Merida chimed in with “Me too!” 

Ran bumped the number of orders up to three. “All right, it’s your treat, as you said.” 

She handed the menu over to Merida, who pushed the button to complete the order and paid the currens for three crepes. Barely ten seconds later, an NPC waitress came rushing out of the building with three plates. 

The crepes were folded in the familiar cone shape but were much bigger than they expected. Gobs of cream and fruit popped out from the pale-yellow pancake, and the sauce and toppings glittered among them. 

“Ooh, it looks so yummy!” exclaimed Yuuki, clasping her hands before her chest in a very brief prayer before accepting her crepe. In the real world, it would be nearly impossible to eat such a thing without it falling apart, but here, as long as she didn’t let go of it, there was no worry about the cream or fruit spilling out and landing on her clothes. 

“Here goes!” Ran said, speaking for the trio, and she opened her mouth as wide as it could go for a big bite. The smooth, thin crepe broke with just the right amount of texture, giving way to fluffy light cream and a large, fresh strawberry. 

Right when they’d first visited this world, it felt very strange and wrong to “eat” food that wasn’t actually real—but that soon became normal to them. There was a bit of a trick to chewing and tasting the same way as it worked in the real world, but if you closed your eyes and chewed without moving your tongue too much, the sensation of tasting wasn’t too different. 

The crepe, cream, and strawberry melted together and vanished when she swallowed, creating a brief descending sensation in her throat. Then Yuuki opened her eyes and shouted, “Merida, this crepe is a-mazing! It’s completely different from the kind at the shop near the teleport gate!” 

Her brand-new friend beamed with pure delight. “Right?! I think there must be more data to process, so they put this in a more out-of-the-way spot. I’ve had to work really hard to learn the way here without getting lost. What do you think, Ran…? Is it good?” 

Ran looked up from her crepe, finishing her third large bite. She bobbed her head deeply and said with grave importance, “I’ve decided that I will continue visiting this shop until I’ve eaten every crepe they make.” 

“Ah-ha-ha-ha! That’ll be tough—good luck! I’ve been coming here for half a year, and I still haven’t tried half the combinations.” 

“Tell me your recommended flavors for next time, then.” 

Meanwhile, Yuuki was busily shrinking the surface area of the bountiful crepe. Unfortunately, she couldn’t say it was more delicious than her mother’s crepes—those were something that would never exist again. But just being here and eating the crepe with the girl she’d randomly met and become quick friends with made it feel many times more delicious than the actual taste data of the item itself. 

Before the disease presented itself, when she was still in elementary school, Yuuki had many good friends. She always longed for the lunch period, when they would slide their desks together and eat the same items from the cafeteria. 

But that daily treat was lost forever from the moment the rumor that she was HIV positive got around. No longer would any of her classmates slide their desks over to hers. Yuuki had to eat her lunch alone in a corner of the room every day. All her favorites, like pork curry and glass-noodle soup and milk pudding, suddenly didn’t taste so good anymore. 

In a sense, this was the first time she’d eaten anything with a friend since coming to the hospital. Even if it was a virtual crepe she was holding, and her friend was a stranger whose real name and face were a mystery, and they were eating in a virtual café in a world that didn’t exist, the feelings of pain and warmth that wrenched at her heart were very, very real. 

“……Yuuki.” 

The sound of Merida’s voice snapped Yuuki’s eyes open again. She realized they were welling up with tears as she ate, so she quickly put down her food and rubbed at her eyes. But the tears wouldn’t go away. As Ran had told her before, the virtual world tended to overemote what you were feeling, which made it hard to hold back tears. 

“I-I’m fine, just a bit…a bit…,” she mumbled. Ran gently patted her on the back. Thanks to her years of experience being comforted by her sister, Yuuki quickly felt the tears dry up. 

“…I’m sorry for bursting into tears like that, Merida. The crepe just tasted so good, and I was having so much fun that…” 

She beamed at Merida, who seemed to be holding back something herself. Yuuki tossed the last bit of crepe into her mouth, swallowed it, and exhaled. 

“To tell you the truth,” Merida said, “I found myself crying alone a lot until recently. In fact, I still feel sad when I remember. Sad, frustrated, angry, ready to cry like a little baby.” 

Her voice was soft, and her gaze pointed out across the meadow below. The sun was much weaker now, and its light was golden and fading on the vast field. 

“…Are you thinking of the game you played before coming here?” Ran asked. 

The deep-green ponytail swayed. “Yes. I only got to play it for a month…and it was only a beta test, not the full release. It was August of 2022, about a whole year before SG started up. I wore NerveGear, not an AmuSphere, and got to play the world’s first VRMMORPG…” 

After a brief time lag, the meaning of her words sank into Yuuki’s mind. She recalled the news article Ran had shown her before they started on their herb-collecting run. The name left her lips, which felt cracked and dry. 

“…Sword Art Online…” 

Merida’s head barely moved. She still wore that sad little smile. “Yes. I played the SAO beta test and got into a midsize guild. It was really fun…and that month passed by in a blink. On the final day, I made a promise to everyone that we’d meet up again when it launched in November. It was just after that when they found the tumor on my brain. I couldn’t play these games anymore. They took away my NerveGear.” 

“…But…that means…,” Ran murmured. 

Merida understood what she was going to say. “That’s right. Because of the tumor, I didn’t get trapped inside that game. The tumor saved my life, the doctors and my parents said, so it’s sure to heal very soon. But…the world isn’t that kind. My brain tumor was in a place where it couldn’t be removed. I’ve been doing chemotherapy and radiation, but it just won’t disappear. I’ve been dealing with it for a year and a half already.” 

She chuckled and pressed her fingertips against her temples, as though feeling around for her brain. Neither Yuuki nor Ran seemed to know what to say. 

So Merida’s collapse at the tree where they caught the stag beetle was because of a brain condition. Malignant tumors, a kind of cancer, weren’t an unfamiliar thing to the sisters. As their immune systems fell to the point of reaching AIDS, the lymphocytes in their blood were at increased risk of developing cancer. The regular testing hadn’t picked up signs of tumors in Yuuki or Ran yet, but even being in a clean room wouldn’t prevent Yuuki’s cells from becoming cancerous. 

Merida lowered her hands, leaned against the back of her chair, and gazed up at the sky, which was a blend of blue and pale yellow. 

“I can never tell my parents this,” she said, searching for the words, “but there are times when I think…if I’m just going to die from this tumor, I’d rather have been trapped in Aincrad. At least then, I could be fighting alongside my friends…” 

““…!”” 

Yuuki and Ran gasped. Aincrad, from what they understood, was the name of the flying castle that was the setting of Sword Art Online. When the game launched, ten thousand players were trapped inside and placed under severe rules: Logging out was impossible, and if the player fell to zero HP, they would actually die. Over the year and a half that this situation continued, three thousand of those players had died. In terms of fatalities caused by a single person’s actions, it was surely the greatest total in the history of Japan—perhaps even the world. 

They couldn’t ask Merida why she would want to be inside such a terrible game. 

The five-year survival rate for malignant brain tumors was about 30 percent on average. In other words, of all the patients who came down with the tumors at the same time, about 70 percent would be dead within five years. That was vastly worse than SAO’s 30 percent rate. 

“…That’s a good point,” Ran murmured. Yuuki glanced over at her sister and saw the usual calm look on her face. But those dark-blue eyes were just a little brighter than she was used to seeing. “If I were a beta tester of Sword Art Online, I might have thought the same way you do, Merida. My only choice with disease is to withstand and resist it—but at least monsters, I can fight with my own power.” 

Merida looked surprised by this. She glanced down at the empty plate on the table. It was completely clean, as though there had never been a crepe topped with dollops of whipped cream resting upon it. 

“…Yeah. If I’m just going to wither away and die on a hospital bed…I’d rather jump right into SAO and die to save someone else. At least that way…I might feel like my life…had meaning……” 

With a soft splat, a clear droplet fell onto the plate. It caught the fading light of the sun as it fell, shining brilliantly before it simply vanished. 

A life with meaning. 

The phrase stabbed Yuuki deep inside her heart. 

There was something she’d asked herself, over and over, for much of her life—something she’d never said to her late parents or to her sister. Why was she alive? She was going to die before she grew to be an adult, leaving behind only agony for her father and mother, and trouble for her teachers and friends at school, achieving nothing. What was the meaning of it all? 

She hadn’t found the answer to that question yet. Maybe she wouldn’t find it until the very end of her life. But Yuuki couldn’t bring herself to agree with Merida. She breathed in and out, trying to work out how to mold the feeling bubbling up in her chest into words. Then she felt Ran’s hand on her back, warm and gentle. At last, she found her voice. 

“Don’t say that…don’t say that, Merida! If you did such a thing, you’d never see your mom and dad again. You shouldn’t put them through that heartache…At least…at least…” 

At least you can still see them. Not like me and my sister. 

Merida seemed to pick up on what she didn’t say. She lifted her head, face streaked with tears, and stared right at Yuuki with big wet eyes. There was the barest hint of a smile on her lips. 

“…Mmm…You’re right. Yuuki, Ran, I’m sorry. I’m being weird.” 

She rubbed her face like Yuuki did earlier, wiping away the tears, then beamed, dimpling her cheeks. 

“I’m all right! I’m going to take good care of Roy, because I have a big goal now: to win the next Insect Battle Tournament! Plus…it’s not like I can even get into Aincrad, anyway. There’s no playing SAO without NerveGear, and the only addresses it will accept are the ones from the IPs of the players already connected.” 

That made sense; aside from the NerveGear being worn by the Incident’s victims, all other NerveGear had been seized, and she hadn’t heard about a single person logging in to SAO on their own after it started. Yuuki relaxed a little and smiled back. 

“I’ll cheer you on in the tournament. You have to win it!” 

“Don’t worry!” said Merida, pounding her chest. As she stretched, she remembered something: “Oh, right. What other VR games do you play? 

Yuuki had just stuck the rest of her crepe into her mouth, so Ran answered instead. 

“This is the only one we’ve ever done.” 

“Awww, that’s a waste! Especially when you can stand on one leg for so long. I’m sure you would do great in any action-based game…” 

Yuuki and her sister shared a look. 

They knew that more and more VR games had come out for the AmuSphere in the last year. Around the same time that Serene Garden started, there had been a popular MMORPG called ALfheim Online, where the players were all fairies that could fly. There were also zombie-based horror shooters, action-adventure games about exploring ruins, and other traditionally popular genres. 

But she and Ran had never even brought up the idea of playing a different game. That was probably because she felt guilty about the idea of using the Medicuboid to simply “play around.” Ran had been provided with the modified NerveGear for free, so she would feel the same way about it. 

But how could they explain that to Merida? Ran grinned and said, “It’s nice of you to suggest, but AmuSphere games are pretty expensive, right? We can’t buy them on our allowance.” 

That, at least, was true. A little while after their parents died, the girls talked it over and decided to minimize the allowance they received from their inheritance. They wanted to donate as much of that as possible to nonprofit organizations supporting children suffering from severe diseases. It was hard for them to feel good about buying a video game that cost nearly ten thousand yen. 

But Merida just looked surprised and shook her head. “Oh, that’s no problem! There are games that are free to play, and you can make money just by selling items.” 

“Huh…? You don’t have to pay for the game itself?!” they asked in shock. 

She nodded more firmly this time. “Yes! You just download and install the game, and you can play it. If you want to buy helpful items for convenience or get really cool-looking gear, it’ll cost real money, but I don’t spend anything at all.” 

“Ooooh…what kind of game is it?” Ran asked, unexpectedly hooked by this pitch. Merida reached toward her left side and made a show of pretending to grab something, then whipped her hand across the table. 

“I haven’t been in there in a little while, but it’s a Japanese-style MMO called Asuka Empire. You turn into samurai or ninjas or shrine maidens to fight each other. It looks completely different from SG, too…There are unbelievably huge castles and gorgeous temples. It’s really fun.” 

“…Fight…,” Yuuki mumbled. 

Of course there was fighting; it was a game. But she felt intimidated by the idea of fighting with other players in a virtual setting using swords and guns. It wasn’t like watching your character move around on a screen…The opponents were avatars, but they were real. She couldn’t imagine physically performing the violence of swinging, striking, and punching other people that way. 

But to her surprise, Ran simply said, “That sounds really fun.” 

“Right?!” Merida leaned over the table, her eyes sparkling. “Hey, would you want to come check out Asuka? I’ll show you how it works!” 

“Hmm, well…” 

“I’ll take pictures of you wearing your miko outfits or samurai armor or whatever! You’ll look great in them!” 

“Hmm, well…” 

“Also, there’s all kinds of traditional sweets you can eat! Like anmitsu and oshiruko and warabi mochi!” 

“……!!” 

Yuuki didn’t miss the little twitch of Ran’s shoulders. She knew that after her mother’s homemade crepes, the one thing that Ran loved most that she couldn’t get inside Serene Garden or from the hospital cafeteria was oshiruko, a dessert of hot, sweet red bean soup, with a big chewy mochi rice cake dipped inside. 

She could see that her sister was trapped between guilt about enjoying a game for its own sake, yearning for a new and mysterious world, and temptation for the flavor of sweet red beans. So to help with the final push, Yuuki added, “Since Merida’s inviting us, we should just go with her, Sis! I’m sure the doctor will let us!” 

Ran looked back at her in mild surprise, then gave a rare full smile and nodded. “Yeah…let’s check it out!” 

“Yay!” Merida cheered, clapping her hands over her head. She glanced upward. “Today’s…probably a stretch. I’ll send you a message to your SG account about how to install Asuka Empire. How about we meet up at one o’clock tomorrow?” 

“Sure, that works,” replied Ran. Merida hopped to her feet, ponytail bouncing, and stuck out both hands toward the sisters. 

“Yuuki, Ran, I’m so happy I got to meet you and become friends with you. I think we’re going to have a great time!” 

Feeling the joy and the light in her eyes and words, Yuuki joined her sister in standing and grasped the hand of the first friend she’d made in ages.