Toradora! - Volume 5 - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“Didn’t we have green onions?” said Ryuuji.

“This isn’t a joke,” said Taiga. “Ugh, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it way too much!”

“Did we have bell peppers? And we just need a little bit of shiitake…and…”

“That Dimhuahua! If we meet again between lives, I’m going to make sure to knock her through multiple levels of hell!”

“We had two or three sausages… Well, I guess we’ll have those in the bento…”

“Hey, what should we do?! Do you think it’s really set in stone?!”

“Hey, what should we do? Do you think we really do need shredded cabbage?”

“…”

In the middle of their cross-purposes conversation, Taiga wordlessly went into a “Yay” pose and put up her thumb as she turned around. The next moment, a high-pitched scream echoed into the night sky and took a protracted time to trail off.

On the road lined with Zelkova trees, where housewives rode bikes loaded with groceries and junior high students laughed loudly as they went, Ryuuji fluttered to his knees. A dog pulled its owner by the leash to curiously sniff Ryuuji mid-walk.

Taiga (who had her memories back, it seemed) hadn’t kicked him. She hadn’t even punched him, or strangled him, either.

“You learned your lesson?”

It had just been with one thumb. With that one thumb, Taiga had just dug slightly into Ryuuji’s left side. With just that one touch, Taiga’s small fingertip had caused Ryuuji enough pain to make everything in front of his eyes go white.

A masochist couldn’t have had a more efficient master. Unfortunately, Ryuuji wasn’t a masochist.

“Wh-what are you doing?!” he said.

Taiga stood imposingly while Ryuuji held his side, which was still pulsing. He glared at her like something out of the Samurai Reincarnation movie.

“The heart of shiatsu is my heart,” said Taiga. “Your pressure points are my pressure points.”

Bam bam bam bam! Under a rain of lightning-quick, torturous acupuncture practice swings, his body trembled of its own volition, and he turned his eyes away. Where in the world had she learned that technique? Frightened, Ryuuji looked down. Taiga narrowed her satisfied eyes, which were clouded with sadism.

“You end up like this because you don’t take my troubles seriously,” she said. “So quit fooling around when you’re discussing this with me. I’m actually really upset about this. No matter how much it’s in your nature to be a dog, if you actually stop being a human at heart, then you really are done for.”

“I’ve been listening this whole time!” said Ryuuji.

“Wheeeen?!”

“I’m telling you I’ve been listening the entire time! Aren’t I the one who’s always saying it?! I said to give up and have fun during the class events every once in a while! But you’re always complaining, like blah blah blah, but but but! And you keep rejecting the message I’ve been giving you!”

“But I can’t help not wanting to do it.” Taiga haughtily snorted, looked at him, and arrogantly stuck up her chin. Against the vermillion-dyed sky, her wind-blown, pale hair fluffed up like a cloud. Her rosebud lips and her doll-like delicateness were outlined beautifully as well. Ryuuji looked up at that displeased but beautiful face. As he held his side, he lumbered back up.

“You’re petty,” he said.

He bluntly pointed out the reality of the situation. If she hadn’t given him the pressure point attack earlier, he would have just given her platitudes like, “Kitamura said you’d be great at it,” or “You can definitely win, so it’s fine.”

But at those words, Taiga went, “Ugh…” and held her chest as she bit her lip.

Frustrated wrinkles broke out on her forehead. He thought she would have been surprised, but somehow she seemed conscious of her own pettiness. Serves you right. Ryuuji then dealt the finishing blow.

“You don’t have any space to spare in your heart,” he said, “and you’re trying to live without making any room in it.”

He used his words as a weapon. She could take a taste of her own medicine every once in a while.

Taiga glared at Ryuuji in frustration, but he had hit right on the truth of the matter, so she couldn’t find a retort. Instead, in desperation, she complained, “Well, you’ve been kind of all jolly wolly lately…”

“Jolly wolly? Me? When?”

He had no memory whatsoever of being “jolly wolly.” It had just been a month since they had started the new school semester. If Taiga was referencing Ryuuji’s tender spot, Minori, then she was unthinkably off the mark. Lately, Ryuuji had felt an indefinite distance from Minori. Taiga being unaware of that made him all the more depressed. Because of that, the remark hit him even harder than she had probably intended it to.

“Hey, according to you, when was I jolly wolly? You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”

“It’s fine. Just forget it, mottled mutt.”

“Who’s mottled?”

“You are…”

Taiga didn’t seem to be enjoying herself much. She lost interest and simply turned on her heel. She started walking briskly away, displeased.

“Look,” she said, “let’s go. The limited time sale at the super will start soon. You’re getting pork, aren’t you? On top of that, you definitely need cabbage. Hey, what are you dawdling around for? You really are like a stray mutt to the end. Give me a break.”

You’re the one who was dawdling and complaining, thought Ryuuji. The reason why I couldn’t walk in the first place was because of you hitting one of my pressure points…

Ryuuji started walking slightly behind Taiga in sullen silence. He swallowed his insufficient complaints, and they headed together to their regular supermarket. Taiga’s request for that night’s menu was pork fried with ginger. Actually, if he were going to be surrounded by the aura of the pork lining the supermarket shelves, he might as well buy some ribs to stew them. Then he remembered the necessary ingredient for both those menus.

“Right, come to think of it, we ran out of ginger. And Yasuko asked us to get a face cleanser… Taiga, give me your living expenses for this month.”

Jogging, he went after Taiga and put out his hand right beside her.

“What?” she said. “Right now?”

“I don’t know if I’ll have enough on hand for shopping.”

“Oh, oh, I see, magistrate-sama.”

“Why do you have to go out of your way to complain about every little thing?”

Taiga, who pretty much depended on Ryuuji for three meals a day, handed over 10,000 yen to Ryuuji each month for food, living expenses, and everything in between. Despite her mouth, she didn’t make a foul face at him, but rummaged through her bag until she pulled out a pink, sequined, cat-face wallet. On top of that, she dropped her highlighters, reference books, printouts, and other things all over the street.

“Y-you…should organize those a little more…”

Taiga let Ryuuji pick everything up and peeked into the cat face. “Oh,” she said. “I’ve got to go to the bank. I don’t have any money at all.”

She started walking briskly. Receipts and all kinds of other things fluttered from the cat-face wallet. She let Ryuuji pick all those up, too. She was headed towards a convenience store with an ATM.

“Oh,” Taiga said, “there’s oden.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s already the time of year for that.”

When they passed through the automatic door together, they knew the impending arrival of fall from the smell of oden that filled the store. Taiga simply sniffed as she wavered towards the oden. Ryuuji grabbed her by the scruff and switched her direction towards the ATM. Thinking he’d flip through magazines as he waited, he browsed the colorful shelves. But eventually…

“Huh? Why?”

He heard an electronic noise. Taiga tilted her head in puzzlement.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s weird. I can’t get money out. Why? What’s going on?”

“You shouldn’t show that stuff to other people… Wait, your balance is zero.”

He tried to avert his eyes after she showed him the details, but for a moment he saw an unmistakable figure that firmly burned itself into his eyes. Taiga’s account balance was zero yen. She couldn’t withdraw from that. Ryuuji looked down at Taiga’s sour face in shock.

“You can’t get money out when your balance is zero. Seriously, you klutz. Well, tomorrow’s fine. I’ll get the money for today’s shopping out of my account.”

He pulled out a cash card from the red leather bag that was used for the household expenses and tried to stick it into the ATM. He did so without any hesitation because the account didn’t charge a fee when the card was used in a convenience store. Ryuuji didn’t miss things when it came to household financial management. But Taiga stopped him.

“No! Wait!”

“Why? Don’t worry about the fees.”

“That’s not it! This is weird… This is definitely weird! I can’t believe it!”

“Even if you don’t believe it, you can’t do anything about it. You don’t have money in the account. Look, really, don’t make such a commotion. You’ll cause trouble for other people.”

“But I had money just last week when I withdrew from it! Even after a withdrawal, there should be some money left over, right? It’s unbelievable that it’s exactly zero yen. He puts money in every month—that’s it.”

Taiga quickly clamped her mouth shut and glared at the card she hadn’t been able to use as though it were the enemy.

“It’s because I’ve been ignoring his phone calls this whole time…”

“Wh-what?” said Ryuuji.

“So he did something like this…”

“Oh, sorry. Anyway, let’s free up the ATM. Come over here, we’re leaving.”

He grabbed Taiga, who had stopped moving, and apologized to the person waiting behind them. Ryuuji went outside the convenience store. In order to keep them from being a nuisance, he pushed Taiga beside the trash cans.

“What did you say? What happened all of a sudden?”

“I can’t believe it,” said Taiga. “Doing it like this. This is why I hate him…”

She continued staring down as though she had frozen in place. She continued to glare at the cash card. Even when the wind ruffled her hair and made it stick to her lip-balmed lips, she didn’t move at all.

“I don’t really get it but…are you okay?” said Ryuuji.

He used his fingers to pull her hair aside for her and bent over to take a glance at Taiga’s expression. Taiga pushed him away as though he were being too nosy.

“Since a little while ago,” she eventually muttered, “that person—my dad—has been calling me over and over. But it was irritating, so I ignored them all. I erased all the voicemails, too. Then he emptied the living expenses in my account.”

“That’s…”

Terrible, is how Ryuuji wanted to continue, but he hesitated.

He didn’t know who was terrible—whether it was the daughter who ignored her parent’s phone calls despite receiving living expenses, or the one stealing the living expenses…or rather, taking back the living expenses they’d provided. It was probably the father who was toying with his daughter’s livelihood who was terrible. Ryuuji didn’t know. Even if he’d had a father, the Aisaka father-daughter relationship was too complicated for him to understand.

Taiga, of course, seemed to think that her father was the one to blame.

“That cruddy old man…” she said, her voice hoarse, turning into a groan. “I want to kill him…for real…”

She tried to crush the cash card in her hand. Ryuuji took it away in a panic and put it into the cat wallet.

“You can’t say something like that about your parents.”

Pretending he knew something by using ethics as a shield, he admonished Taiga with words that actually rung hollow in a time like this. As though seeing through all his intentions, Taiga’s eyes filled with a cold light. She glared at him as though he were stupid. He didn’t have any reply, so he could only take the glare and be troubled by it.

Then, as though it had been timed deliberately, Taiga’s cellphone buzzed in her jacket pocket. Taiga grabbed the phone strap and dragged it out violently. She flipped it open.

“This has got be a threat,” she said as she took in the name on the screen.

She wasn’t looking anywhere in particular as her mouth formed a thin smile. At just that face, Ryuuji knew that the person who was calling over the phone was exactly who he imagined it to be.

“Answer it for now,” he said. “Nothing will come of it if you don’t talk anyway. And if you don’t have money, you’re in trouble, right?”

After saying that, Ryuuji simply left Taiga where she was and went into the convenience store again. He looked around the magazine shelf and at milk confections Taiga would probably like, and he side-eyed the drinks as he went into the candy aisle. He checked several new candies he wasn’t familiar with and intentionally slowed down to look down at the appliance that housed the oden beside the register. However, not a single one of the contents in the oden penetrated his head.

He mechanically estimated the time, and pretending not to check on Taiga, he glanced through the glass of the storefront. He knew that she had finished her call from her closed flip phone. Her shapely face was contorted into a hard-edged expression. He watched up until she put her phone away in her pocket.

Once she did that, he casually returned to Taiga with sure footing.

“It was your dad?” he asked.

He held his breath, trying his best to avoid creating an unnecessary breeze. Their strange child-parent relationship was like walking a tightrope.

“…Ryuuji,” said Taiga, her voice firm. She was still looking away. “You have time right now, right?”

“No, I need to go to the supermarket.”

“I’ll do the shopping. Give me the money. If there isn’t enough, hurry and withdraw some. You’re not going shopping. You’re going to the second-floor café in the station building right now. Look, um, it’s next to the general store where I bought that pouch the other day, the smoke-free place with the bagels.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t know where it is? The day when we had a ton of rain, we went there when we didn’t have umbrellas to kill some time with Minorin and Dimhuahua, didn’t we? You had a coffee and I had a salmon bagel—”

“That’s not what I mean. Why am I not going shopping?”

“Minorin and Dimhuahua split a cheese toast, and Dimhuahua was saying her mouth hurt, and she had TMI or something, so she couldn’t open her mouth much.”

“She had TMJ. No, it’s not that, it’s not about the café. I don’t understand what you mean at all.”

“You understand.”

“I don’t.”

“…So you don’t.”

Taiga swallowed her words a little. She tilted her head to the side several times as though she were thinking about what she was going to say.

“You’re going to go to that café in my place. You’re going to meet with him on my behalf, and you’re going to get the money back. That’s fine, right?”

Ryuuji grasped the situation properly.

“No way!” he said.

“Why not?!” Taiga’s voice echoed even louder than his. “Go for me! It’s fine! You can do it! Go get it! Go!”

Unwilling to lose, Ryuuji made his voice a step louder.

“No way! If it’s fine, then you go! Why do I have to talk to your dad about something so weird?!”

“It’s not that you have to do it, I just want you to go! Please, I’m begging you!”

“It’s impossible! Your father doesn’t know me in the first place, right?! If some guy he doesn’t know with a face like this goes and says to him, ‘I came to get your daughter’s money!’ it seems crazy suspicious! If it were me, I wouldn’t hand over the money to a guy like that!”

“You can explain, can’t you?! You have a mouth, don’t you?! Or did you forget Japanese, you dog brain!”

“Whaaat?! Is that the attitude you take when you’re asking someone a favor?!”

“It’s fine, just listen to what I’m saying!”

“Don’t toy with me!”

Unsatisfied with their shouting match, they started to get into a real squabble. They shoved each other in front of the store, winding up in a contest of strength, but neither of them would back down.

“Please! I’m begging you! C’mon, go! I haven’t asked you for anything up until now, have I?!”

“You! Definitely! Have! You ask me for stuff every day, and I do it for you! Last night, you lost your TV remote control and said, ‘I can’t find it! Please, look for it!’ and I spent two hours looking for it!”

“What a cold-hearted person! You’re unreliable! Look, just go! Please! Go for me! Then I’ll help you with cleaning up dinner and everything! I’ll even wash all the dishes! I’ll do it tomorrow and the day after, too! Please, go…please!”

“Whoa!”

BAM! One of them was pushed over, right into the middle of the cold gazes of the passersby. The one who had been pushed over onto his butt was Ryuuji. Taiga had pulled back. Ryuuji, who had come to a stop, tried to get up, thinking of running away.

“Please…!”

The words from Taiga’s mouth weren’t, “Look what you did,” or even “You should have listened in the first place.” The words were an entreaty so delicate it seemed it could vanish into thin air. Her brows were knitted together, and her mouth was set in a thin frown. She crouched slightly by Ryuuji’s side and grabbed his sleeve. She shook him.

“Please, Ryuuji…”

“Seriously…what’re you saying…”

“Please…”

Taiga continued to jerk Ryuuji’s sleeve with her small, pale hands until he nodded. Her pitiful face was still turned down.

***

When Taiga had seen the root of Ryuuji’s psychological complex, which was a picture of a person, she laughed.

It was of the horrible look in his eyes. Of the terrible look on his face. Of the features he could do nothing about, the features that could only be seen as that of a gangster. It was of an aura that was so ominous that it could only frighten the general populace. Most of those characteristics were spectacularly imbued in Ryuuji. The person in the photo who was the origin of those genes was his father, whose current whereabouts and status were unknown.

Seeing the man in that photo, Taiga had laughed loudly until she cried that night at the family restaurant. What is that? You look exactly like him; you’re the spitting image, she writhed.

Ryuuji thought about it. That meant he had the right to laugh right now, too.

“Right…I see. I get it. Anyway, my daughter isn’t coming.”

“Yes…I’m sorry.”

After looking at the note Ryuuji asked Taiga to write, the man before him, who appeared to be in his forties, rubbed his eyes. He seemed glum. With one look at his hand and build, which could only be described as compact, it was obvious he was Taiga’s father.

This is my friend Takasu Ryuuji. Give the money to him. Taiga. He folded the note Taiga had scrawled as though it were precious. The father of the Aisaka household put it inside his expensive jacket’s inner pocket. Ryuuji didn’t normally make a habit of ogling people, but he still followed the man’s movements with his eyes regardless. The man was too unusual. He was a type of person Ryuuji had never seen before.

Just what kind of job would let him wear clothes like this and have free time during a weeknight? He didn’t have a single wrinkle on his sort-of-casual-looking high-collared shirt, which he wore under his jacket. The shirt seemed silky and lustrous. You could tell at a single glance that it was well tailored, or meant to look that way. He didn’t have a necktie. Instead, he wore a loose silk scarf around his neck in an elegant knot. No matter how you looked at him, he was obviously not a so-called salary man. You could tell with decisive certainty that he had money.

But, thought Ryuuji, well, it’s not like I get the sense I don’t like him.

So, even though he didn’t know much else about the man, in his mind, Ryuuji stamped a brazen “pass” mark over Taiga’s father’s face. He seemed okay. He seemed fine. He was chic and didn’t give Ryuuji a bad vibe. The jacket, beige as an arm with a light tan, suited him. Ryuuji hadn’t thought a Japanese man of that age could be so well dressed.

To be clear though, he didn’t think the man was handsome. Compared to Taiga, who looked exactly like a French doll in face and figure, the fashionable man in front of his eyes, frankly, couldn’t be described as having a handsome face. As far he could see, though, the impression the guy gave off was pleasant.

“Sorry Taiga’s using you, uhh, Takasu-kun,” he said. “I wanted to do anything to see Taiga. This was my last resort, but…I think she hates me more for it.”

“Ah…”

“…Takasu-kun, are you angry?”

“No…my eyes are just that way.”

“O-oh, I see. Sorry.”

It wasn’t his eyesight that was bad but the look in his eyes. Ryuuji’s words still seemed to put Taiga’s father at ease. His slightly stiff shoulders relaxed and something like a smile came on his face for the first time. When he took out his cigarettes, the crocodile skin watch on his arm and all its elaborate inner workings showed. The gold casing was so polished it shot a glaring light into Ryuuji’s eyes. The clock face was made to be see-through to show the machinery and the dizzying delicacy that had gone into its making. The beauty of it made Ryuuji want to stare at it for ages, but he faltered.

“Um,” he said, “this café seems to be smoke-free.”

Just before the man was able to light his vintage-looking streamlined oil lighter, Ryuuji stopped him. Taiga’s father’s eyes went wide, and he looked around as though grasping the situation.

“Really?!” he said. “I see! I see… So this place is smoke-free, too… Lately, I haven’t been able to smoke anywhere. Ahhh…my daughter hates me, and I’m ashamed to be a smoker… I feel like the whole world hates me.”

He sighed deeply and rubbed his face like a cat as he sullenly put away his cigarettes.

“Uhh…would you like to go outside?”

“It’s okay, you haven’t even had any of your coffee. Well, I haven’t either.” Then he suddenly pushed the menu toward Ryuuji and flapped his hand like a bird. “Now that it’s come to this, order whatever you’d like. Have cake or anything you’d like now.”

“Oh, no… I’m fine…” said Ryuuji. “We’re having dinner soon, so…”

“Ahhh.” The man held his head in his hands again and put it down on the table.

“O-oh, um…uhh, I’ll have something. I’ll have this egg bagel…”

“Really?! Excuse me. Young lady, could we order?”

The sudden smile on his raised face really didn’t look much like Taiga’s. His wide forehead, which seemed to be showing his age, only had a single slightly familiar wrinkle. Taiga’s father was small though. To put it baldly, he might have been even shorter than Yasuko. He was also narrow-shouldered. The hand beckoning the waitress was small and so were his trimmed nails. Ryuuji hummed in admiration again at seeing the way the nails practically gleamed, as though they were hydrated. It was like they had cream on them. This man was even taking good care of his hands.

“I have an additional order,” he said. “He would like an egg bagel. And…I’ll have this salmon bagel, I guess. What’s in it? Is there cream cheese in it? Oh, there is. Then I’ll have that. Load it with a loooot of cheese. Put on as much as you can. I’m counting on you!”

“Do you like cheese?”

“Huh?! How did you know?!”

Without thinking, Ryuuji looked at Taiga’s father in shock as he breathed out a long sigh, just like he always did with Taiga. Taiga’s father smiled happily, How? Hey, how? He was waiting for Ryuuji’s response.

Anyway, how should I put this—though it was only a fraction of what Taiga had, it seemed the guy had what could only be called charm. Even though he was an older man, he was smiling strangely amiably and his large eyes moved restlessly.

“But well, bagels…hmm hmm, there are some pretty fashionable stores around here, too. I wonder if they’re targeting women. These would be good for office ladies who are on the way home. And the interior design is pretty nice here. It has a Scandinavian vibe; there are a lot of girls who like this plain look. How is it as a boy? Would you come here alone?” he asked suddenly.

“No, I could never come alone,” said Ryuuji. “Lately, I’ve liked chic places that use the colors of wood… Something harder, with a lot of rugged knots, but that’s dignified… Yeah, like chestnut.”

He’d spoken too honestly.

“Oh, our interests match!” said Taiga’s father, his voice full of admiration. “Me too. I like dark wood colors. Either chestnut or oak—things that have faux striation or purposefully have rough walls with thick paint positioned against a stark dark brown. I want it to have casual lighting and for the chairs to be roughly made. I want the kitchen to say kitchen! I want it to show all that stainless steel.”

“And a floor that makes a sound when you step on it in boots,” said Ryuuji, “that’s super thick and hard.”

“And that’s filled with tons of ashtrays.”

“And like, pendant lights over the tables.”

“Right, right, right, that’s nice! Some dark orange antique thing! A man’s world!”

That’s it! Ryuuji wanted to joke, but he swallowed his words in a fluster. He was talking to an old man and one he’d never talked to before at that. He couldn’t get carried away and be rude.

That was close—he had almost been drawn in. Ryuuji sipped his coffee and gave himself a chance to cool down. He needed to err on the side of not saying too much, but he couldn’t keep his smile down.

He was a little happy. He had been told their interests matched. As an avid reader of interior design magazines, to get to talk to someone who had such refined tastes was already worth its weight in gold.

That said, it seemed Taiga’s father was happy to have had a conversation about taste with a high school boy. The depression that had been over him up until that point had gone somewhere else, and the man’s eyes glittered. He was looking around the café filled with more curiosity that ever. He hit the table happily with his fist, hit the walls, and he was leaning forward to look at the indirect lighting.

Thinking about it, this was the first time in his life that Ryuuji had ever been face to face with a man of this age in private. At the same time he realized that, Ryuuji was suddenly confused about what to talk about next. If he could, he wanted to stop while they were still enjoying themselves. Basically, he wanted to end it here, finish his business, and go home. It seemed that Taiga’s father’s interest hadn’t stopped there though. He took the tablecloth in his hands, looked at it, then turned over the menu and looked at it from corner to corner. He stood up to look at the decorative postcards. “Oh, a photo. I thought it was a drawing.”

Guess you would call this going at the beat of your own drum, Ryuuji thought.

“Right, before I forget,” said Taiga’s father, “here’s this. This is the point, right? Make sure to give it to her. I guess my mission was a failure. Taiga was mad, right? I felt murder coming through the phone receiver…”

“Oh, well, kind of—whoa!”

Even as he vaguely nodded, Ryuuji was astonished by the weight of the envelope he had finally received. Are the insides all ten thousand yen notes? It’s super thick and super heavy… Just how much money is in this? He couldn’t imagine. Just thinking about having to bring it home made his underarms sweat strangely. It was a lot of money, really a lot of money. He had no idea Taiga was receiving this much…

“Make sure to tell her I’ll put money in like usual next month.”

“Uhhh…”

Next month? If they had just this much money, the Takasu household of just one parent and child could probably have lived for half a year with some to spare. Next month was just in a few days. It was absurd.

Taiga’s father didn’t seem to notice any bit of Ryuuji’s nervousness. The man let out a small sigh and put his head in his small hands.

“I really wanted to see her, no matter what. Oh well, she won’t even let me hear her voice, so… Anyway, she’s been well. I wanted to see her face so much I had something important to talk to her about.”

That’s when it happened.

After he stopped talking, Ryuuji suddenly saw genuine sadness in the man’s profile. The envelope in Ryuuji’s hand was heavy, and he felt a painful, rough sense of incongruity.

The man had remarried and furnished Taiga, who had become a nuisance, with a condo. He had kicked her out of his home. Taiga’s father was a cold-blooded man who could do something like that. Taiga had told him that, and Ryuuji had thought that was the truth. But.

Would a man like that make a face like this? Would a man like that sigh like this? Would he have such heavy shadows under his eyes?

Ryuuji didn’t really know him, but he started to think that he couldn’t. He was troubled by the question of what to do with the heavy envelope and kept it held in both his hands.

Taiga’s father didn’t once look at the envelope that was filled with that sense of incongruity.

“Well then,” he said, “is Taiga doing well? She’s not worried about anything? Umm, how do I say this… You…are you with Taiga? Are…are you dating?”

Caught by surprise, Ryuuji shook his head furiously.

“No, we’re not. Actually…we’re friends. I live next to that condo, and we somehow figured out we get along. We’re not dating or anything at all… It’s like we’re family or siblings. That’s probably presumptuous of me to say though…”

“I see. I see…”

No matter how well they’d connected through that interior design conversation, Taiga’s father had probably been thinking he would exterminate any rascals that came near his daughter. Knowing the truth, the man brightly nodded happily.

“So, um,” he said. “Taiga isn’t dating any weird fellows, right? Lately there’ve been stalkers and stuff, haven’t there?”

“That’s fine now. Because Taiga is strong.”

“Isn’t she!”

Relief appeared clearly over Taiga’s father’s face as he narrowed his eyes and smiled. He still had wrinkles that he couldn’t get rid of under his eyes.

“Taiga…must have been mad about the account. Yeah. She would be mad…”

He laughed at himself a little.

“When I talked to her over the phone a little, she told me, ‘At least take proper responsibility for the kid you abandoned.’ She must really be thinking that. That she was abandoned.”

“Was she not?”

“She wasn’t.”

For just one moment, a harsh gaze exactly like Taiga’s was intensely turned toward Ryuuji.

“She wasn’t,” he said. “That’s definitely not right. We couldn’t help the divorce. I just couldn’t make it work with her mother at all…and then, I met someone good and remarried. But the person I married was too young and just couldn’t get used to living with Taiga. They had a lot of misunderstandings, and after that their relationship just got worse and went downhill. Taiga and my current wife—her name is Yuu—Taiga and Yuu came to the point where one of them had to leave the house. Then Taiga…”

A waitress brought over their bagels. They were probably about as big as Taiga’s face and wrapped up in paper.

“Right…” Taiga’s father went on. “Why couldn’t I have stopped her back then? I still have dreams about it. It was winter. It was in the middle of winter and a very cold day, and there was snow coming down outside. Inside our house, Taiga was crying like usual. They were shouting and having a huge fight. She threw something at Yuu and gave her a nosebleed… The house was like a battlefield. It was like hell itself. I had just finalized the divorced and remarried, and I thought I’d finally get to bring peace back to the house, and I thought ‘How did it come to this?’ I was irritated, and I said things that were a little harsh. They weren’t meant for Taiga, but…she must have heard it that way. Then, suddenly, Taiga’s expression…it was like a light had been switched off.”

Ryuuji looked down at his bagel. It was so big. Could he actually eat it?

“And then in my dreams, as though someone’s pulling her by a thread, she just slips away through a crack in the door and disappears. No matter how much I go after her, she always slips away, and I just can’t ever catch her… I wonder why I can’t grab her? Even in my dreams, I can’t grab her. She just slips away from my fingers. I remember what she was wearing. That lavender cashmere cardigan that was tied at the waist with a ribbon. Even though I try to catch her by that, she just slips away. And even when I try grabbing her by her tied up hair, she just slips away—I hear the sound of a gate opening, and it echoes loudly. That’s when Taiga leaves…”

As though he were watching some phantom snow, Taiga’s father’s eyes became distant.

“She never came home again.”

He couldn’t look at this. Ryuuji picked the egg bagel up in his hand and took a huge bite. Then, at the next words, he froze.

“I want to live with Taiga. Together again. That’s what I wanted to tell her.”

“Uh…”

What was that just now? Ryuuji thought. With his mouth still filled with food, he forgot to chew. His sanpaku eyes were wide open, and he was looking at the man in front of him in a stupor.

The man wanted to live with Taiga. Just now, that’s really what he had heard. He hadn’t misheard, he was certain.

He couldn’t taste anything anymore. He let the dry stuff in his mouth roll around and somehow feigned calmness as he asked what he needed to ask in a low voice.

“But…but, wouldn’t the situation be the same again? Because…because that…”

“It wouldn’t,” said Taiga’s father. “I wouldn’t let it. I now know what I made a mistake in doing. I intend to start over with Taiga, just the two of us. Taiga is my one and only princess. She’s even more important than my life. I definitely won’t make that mistake again… That looks good, that bagel. Maybe I’ll have mine, too.”

He took up his salmon bagel with his small hands and Ryuuji just watched as he pulled back the paper bag wrapping around it. He was weighing the meaning of the man’s words.

I intend to start over with Taiga. So that basically means…

“Um. I’m going to divorce Yuu pretty soon. We’ve decided to, and I’ve finished talking with Yuu. So I can live with Taiga. Because we’re family. Because I love her. I shouldn’t have let her be separated from me in the first place. Next time I see her, I’ll definitely tell her that.”

“That’s—that… Are you serious about it…?”

“I’m serious—oh!”

“Whoa!”

A piece of salmon popped out of the bagel where Taiga’s father tried to bite. Before it could fall onto the table, Ryuuji stopped it with his bare hands without thinking. What should I do with this? he thought, as wrinkles formed across his forehead like a thunderbolt.

“Nice follow through!”

Without hesitation, Taiga’s father took the salmon from Ryuuji’s hand and awkwardly pushed it back into the bagel. He put up his thumb for Ryuuji in a “yay” pose. It seemed that he really did share blood with Taiga. They were exactly the same in how they were klutzes and would immediately get carried away. Then Ryuuji suddenly felt weird. He realized something.

Although the time he had spent sitting with this man and talking had been pretty awkward, he hadn’t disliked it.

He felt a floating feeling, and in his heart, which couldn’t settle itself, Ryuuji was talking to Taiga.

This is bad. Your father said he’s coming back for you.

***

KA-CHUNK!

The sound echoed.

“It’s fine! Do you have to oversee every little thing I do?!”

“No, it’s fine but…don’t break them?”

“It’s not broken!”

Ryuuji really, really felt that he couldn’t just sit down. He stood right behind Taiga and worriedly looked at her dubious hands.

“You’re nosy. Go away!” Taiga turned to Ryuuji and showed him her sharp canines. If he had carelessly intervened, she definitely would have bit him. He couldn’t leave her alone either though. For Ryuuji, this scene was filled with thrills, shock, and suspense. He anxiously continued to stick by her in the kitchen.

With dangerous handiwork, Taiga randomly piled the dishes in the drying rack. Without batting an eye, she put a heavy earthenware plate diagonally over a small soup bowl.

“Wah!”

“Whoa!”

The plate also made a sound like a shriek and showily fell over inside the stainless steel drying rack. He couldn’t watch anymore.

“Look, that’s what I mean, you put dinnerware like that here—”

Without thinking, Ryuuji stretched out his itching hands.

“Really! It’s fiiine! Don’t do anything! I said I’d do it, you boil water and prepare the tea or something!”

“Th—”

“Don’t even look at me!”

Taiga snorted roughly and seemed firm about continuing to wash the dishes. That she felt like fulfilling her promise was something to be happy about, but in reality, it was a trap. He couldn’t help but feel worried. Taiga wasn’t skillful at all. She was sloppy by nature and a klutz who did everything without thinking it through. She scrubbed the dishes one by one with the detergent-filled sponge, put the sponge on the sink rim, and then held each dish with both hands one at a time to rinse them thoroughly. Her method of putting things down was extremely crude. She seemed to have no qualms placing the bowl right side up and letting bubbles from the detergent fly.

Though she was careless, she was strangely sincere. Even so, she wasn’t methodical enough. On top of everything else, the water was flying up and splashing the area around the sink. Taiga let her apron get sopping wet and even let the water splatter on the floor.

What bad execution.

At the vexation of not being able to do or say anything, Ryuuji was pretty much being driven up the wall. You were supposed to wash all of them at once, then pile them in a pyramid in the washtub. You could build up the water in the washtub that way to rinse them efficiently without wasting water or detergent. Actually, the amount of water she was letting flow was too much in the first place. If you let the water stream hit something curved while you had the flow at the max…

“Nyaah?!”

Water flew up from the grinding bowl and the area was naturally flooded even more with water. Even her bangs got wet, and Taiga stood bolt upright.

“…”

Ryuuji was already speechless. He started wiping up the water puddles on the floor with a dry dishcloth. Taiga allowed him to be involved to that extent. She wiped at her face with her bubble-smeared hand and continued to wash the dishes.

“Oh!” she said. “No way, you’re washing a parakeet’s food box and human plates together? You’re so thick-skinned.”

The dishcloth in his hand swiftly slipped down.

“That’s not what that is! Are you an idiot?! That’s where I put your side dishes in your bento box!”

“What? Is it?”

“It is! It’s not like I’d wash the bird food box and plates together.”

He had let it slip.

This was bad. In a fluster, he turned around and put on a forced smile, but he was too late. She must have been listening to everything. From inside the birdcage, the ugly parakeet, Inko-chan, was turning a sharp gaze towards him. Her rotting-meat-colored beak had some weird foam dripping from it, and her half-open eyelids fluttered resentfully. Her disordered and ruffled feathers convulsed as she fluffed them up. Her gaze was slightly cross-eyed but arrow sharp. He could see well enough in her expressive face that he had put her in a mood.

“That’s not true, Inko-chan. Please, listen to me. I wasn’t saying that you’re particularly dirty just now, Inko-chan, Taiga was wrong, so my tone was just strong.”

“She’s a bird,” said Taiga. “She doesn’t UN-DER-STAND Japanese!”

He didn’t know who taught her, but Inko-chan had a splendid command of Japanese. The expression on her face was suddenly dreadful, and on top of that, she continued to stare at Ryuuji. She lowered her head and took three steps, then lost her balance.

“…I! Uh! …Dung! No, Dung-ko-cha—…Huh…?”

It seemed Inko-chan had forgotten everything. Suddenly, she opened her beak up wide and let her eyes wander absentmindedly. As though trying to remember what she was doing, she started preening herself. Then she started pecking at her Japanese mustard.

I see. Ryuuji smacked his fist into his palm. Amazingly, her tiny birdbrain had forgotten everything with just three steps. They could continue their relationship as pet and owner without a grudge between them.

“Oh, no way… You’re talking with uggo-child,” said Taiga. “You really are nothing more than a dog, aren’t you?”

“Don’t call her uggo-child,” said Ryuuji. “She’s Inko-chan. Right, Inko-chan? Ahh, you’re so lively, so lively, ahh you’re so cute, you’re so good, Inko-chan, your heart is so wide, and you’re so kind, I like you, Inko-chan.”

“Oh. To you, crap on the street would be ‘cute.’”

“C-crap…huh…?”

Taiga turned off the faucet and slowly threw out her flat chest. She lumbered over and stood imposingly in front of Ryuuji, who was still shaken by the indecent words that had come from her mouth.

“Loooook,” she said. “I did it. While you were playing with uggo-child, I finished it all.”

Full of herself, she jutted her chin out as she proudly declared the completion of her mission. Ryuuji recomposed his posture, nodded yes, and even clapped for her.

“Oh, how good, how good,” he said, “you’re a housework genius.”

“Well, if I get in the mood, then I am.”

“You’ve got talent. If you keep it up, you’ll get better at it.”

“Yes, yes, now please just get the tea. Hurry up with it.”

“I saw your spark of talent. Right, the tea, and fast.”

He simply gave her gentle praise and didn’t complain even though the apron he had given her was sopping wet. Compared to praising crap on the ground, praising Taiga’s household skills was nothing.

Also, right, it was the first time since they had met that Taiga had washed the dishes. Though he was bothered that he hadn’t been able to do anything, as long as she finished, that feeling would disappear like throwing out the trash. It didn’t matter if she didn’t do it well. He just wanted her to keep feeling like doing the dishes. He’d do that by praising her. That was Ryuuji’s policy.

If she really started living with her father again and didn’t at least know how to wash things, she’d be in trouble anyhow. He didn’t really know if that would come to be, but it was better to be prepared.

Ryuuji boiled the water. In that time, he quickly wiped down the dishes, put them away in the shelves, and put a load of tea that the landlord always split with them into the teapot. It was widely accepted that it was better to use water that wasn’t at boiling temperature when making Japanese tea, but Ryuuji liked pouring a steaming pot. He poured the boiling water onto the green leaves all at once, and they puffed up without resistance. They loosened gently as they danced in the flow. The strong smell of tea rose with the scalding steam.

After the single infusion, he immediately poured the tea. He poured the slightly cooler leftover boiling water in next. At first the tea would be somewhat light, but it was very hot. You could drink it right after a meal and then sip the stronger and bitter tea over time. The other merit of it was that you could have two cups without having to get up from the table, which was very housewife-like thinking on his part.

“What about snacks?” said Taiga.

“I’ll make them.”

He pulled out two small, wrapped baumkuchen cakes that Taiga had brought in a snack box the other day and put them on a tray. Even after she ate two hundred and fifty grams of white rice, ginger, and three good meals, Taiga would want something sweet. Ryuuji decided to have a snack with her that night.

He quickly wiped the table clean and put the heavy tray down with deep care.

“Well, get up,” he said. “You can’t drink tea while lying down.”

He kicked Taiga’s shin. She had immediately folded over a sitting cushion and lay down. Taiga pushed up her long hair and got up.

“Sweets, sweets, baumkuchen…just two?”

“One is for me.”

“No way, that stinks of poverty. Bring the box.”

Looking at just the two sweets, she pouted in displeasure. Sure, sure, he thought and let that pass. The two of them sat on the cushions in their original positions. Then, like that, they raised the volume on the quiz show they watched every week and took an intermission from talking.

“What?” said Taiga.

“Oh? Nothing?”

“Gross.”

For some reason, he’d been looking at Taiga’s profile. Taiga’s forehead wrinkled, but then she turned back to the TV.

During that boring, normal night, Ryuuji weirdly felt like looking at Taiga. He wanted to talk to her. For some reason, he hadn’t been able to say anything while they were at the table with Yasuko. Taiga also, of course, didn’t bring it up. He wanted to talk about that.

“Um. Uuumm, your dad’s kind of…different, isn’t he?”

“You’re supposed to take these off layer by layer to eat them, right?”

Taiga completely ignored him. She showed all of her small front teeth and started eating a thin layer off the baumkuchen like a squirrel.

“That’s a weird way to eat that… Actually, come to think of it, this evening, he was eating a bagel. Your dad was. It was the same salmon one you had. The things you like really are the same. You also both like cheese.”

“You’re not eating yours? If you’re not eating it, give it to me.”

“We kind of talked about a lot of things. He seemed really worried about you.”

She stole Ryuuji’s baumkuchen from his hands. This time Taiga took a big bite of it. She continued to completely ignore Ryuuji’s words and obstinately looked only at the TV. Her shoulders shook just a little.

“Hey, are you listening? This isn’t something for me to say, but you should really see your dad. Do it as quick as you can. Because…right, what are you gonna do?”

He felt it was something he couldn’t tell her himself. Her father had to tell Taiga. Ryuuji would tell her just a little bit so Taiga wouldn’t shut him out completely without knowing anything.

“Your dad kind of wants to live with you.”

“Isn’t that stupid?”

Just the sound of the TV echoed emptily in the small, two-bedroom apartment. Taiga didn’t even look at Ryuuji and only said that coldly. What was that reaction? he thought. He glared at the back of her ears, which were poking out from her long hair. Why is she always like this?

“Put down the snack,” Ryuuji said, making his voice hard. “Hey, seriously, talk to me.”

“Like I told you, seriously, isn’t it stupid? Aren’t you stupid?”

“But I’m saying this for your sake!”

“Who asked you to do that? Don’t stick your nose into other people’s business.”

“Huh?! You were the one who made me go over there! At least hear me out! Are you just going to take the money and let that be the end of it?!”

“That’s right, but I’m thankful you did that, so that’s why I did the dishes. Now that’s the end of it.”

“Don’t joke around! Just let me talk a little!”

“You’re noisy! Don’t touch me like we’re close!”

Taiga finally turned around. With eyes that seemed ready to blow fire from her anger and irritation, she looked right into Ryuuji’s eyes. Before he knew it, the emotion was fading from her eyes. Even the fire from her anger went cold and disappeared.

“I’m done. This is no fun. I’m going home. Oh, I’ll say this: be responsible and make sure to wake me up tomorrow like usual. I’m not upset about this unpleasant conversation at all.”

It seemed Taiga had lost all interest in Ryuuji. She violently grabbed the baumkuchen she had left uneaten with her hand, pulled up her drooping socks with enough force to tear them, and lumbered on the tatami toward the entryway. He followed her and tried to block her way.

“Your dad is sad because you’re ignoring him! It’s sad!”

“I’m the one who’s sad!”

It turned into a shouting match. What stupid things she’s saying, Ryuuji thought, shocked. Turning a scornful glance at him, Taiga put on her shoes and only muttered, “See you tomorrow.” Then she simply left. She actually went home.

He put on his sandals trying to go after her but hesitated.

“Seriously!”

In the end, he didn’t go.

He peeled his hand off the cold doorknob. He locked the door and stepped away from the doorway. He noticed he was really angry. He was about angry enough to want to kick the shoes that were lined up tidily at the door.

“That idiot…”

Instead of hitting things, he spat strong, quiet words at the person who was no longer there.

She had a father who cared about her like that and worried about how she was doing. He had even reflected on his own actions and come back for her. Now all Taiga had to do was listen, and the happiness she was waiting for would be right there, but Taiga rejected that and was too caught up in her own self-pity, claiming that she had been abandoned. How stupid.

The happiness Ryuuji could wish for and wish for, but never have, was right within her grasp. Taiga was tossing it out like garbage right before Ryuuji’s eyes. Did she really love being poor, pitiful Taiga that much?

At the doorway where the heavy, cold air had settled, while Yasuko was away at work, there were only her sandals, which she used when walking close by, and Ryuuji’s shoes. No matter how much Ryuuji and Yasuko prayed or waited, there was one person who would never come home.