Chapter 1: The Hidden Boss Meets the God of Darkness
“I’m the god of darkness, Lemn. Wake up, my priestess.”
“You have the wrong person,” I protested.
I found myself in a space that was utterly dark, where a black-haired boy stood before me with a friendly smile on his face. He seemed to have mistaken me for a priestess.
I don't blame him, since I give off exactly the same pure and innocent vibe as a priestess does
“I’m sorry to say, you don’t seem like the pure and innocent type.”
What did you say? I consider myself to be a very wholesome person. I’m so pure that if I were to unify the continent into a single nation, they'd put the word“holy” before that country’s name.
“The Holy Empire of Dolkness, huh? ...Hm?”
I awoke in my own familiar bed, muttering the name of some unknown country. Imagining Dolkness as an "empire” was pretty weird on its own, even without the "holy” part.
Hm, I feel like I had a weird dream. A dream in which I was talking to a super important person or something... It’s no use. The more I try to remember it, the more my memory gets foggy.
Since I was awake so early, I finished getting ready on my own and left my bedroom. It wasn’t unusual for me to have a dream I could only half-remember, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop wondering about this one.
"It was someone really important. I feel like they were even more important than a king. Maybe an emperor? That’s why it was an empire?”
I realized that I wasn’t quite sure what the difference between a kingdom and an empire was, nor was I entirely certain who outranked who, a king or an emperor. Whoever it had been, they had left such a vivid impression in my mind that this person must have been more important than the leader of any kind of sovereign nation.
"The only other thing I could think of is a god...”
Me receiving a message from god in my dream? That sounded impossible. I wasn’t devout enough to become some kind of prophet, nor did I even believe in the existence of gods. It was probably nothing but a weird dream.
Telling anyone that I can hear divine voices is a terrible idea. Claiming to channel the voice of god seems like a great way to get burned at the stake.
I still had some time until breakfast, so I considered finishing up some of the work that I hadn’t gotten to yesterday. Just then, Eleanora rounded the corner and started heading in my direction It was unusual to see her awake at this hour; she always overslept.
Upon spotting me, Eleanora scurried my way, chattering excitedly. “Yumiella! I heard a god’s voice!”
A fallen aristocrat and a heretic? I almost imagined that I could hear the mob coming for her now.
After the Duke of Hillrose’s plans for the coup d’état had come to light, his ducal status was revoked. This meant that Eleanora no longer enjoyed the privileges of nobility. Though she seemed cheerful on the surface, perhaps this was only to mask her distress. It was possible that her inability to handle the intense stress could have caused her to turn to a non-existent god to save her.
If only I had been more empathetic towards her... I shouldn’t have just brushed off what she was saying thinking she was spouting some idiotic nonsense again. That was her way of sending an SOS signal.
"Lady Eleanora, how would you like to visit the Royal Capital?” I asked in the most upbeat tone I could muster, hoping to cheer up this pitiful girl. “I’ll buy you dresses, jewelry, whatever your heart desires.”
“Oh my! You’re being so kind all of a sudden! I suppose this proves that you can’t even trust the word of a god.”
“What do you mean?”
“The god said to be careful around you!”
This “god" is wary of me? Does that mean Eleanora's subconscious dislikes me? Well, whatever, I suppose there’s no use trying to analyze Eleanora’s auditory hallucinations. Ill just focus on doing my best to show her a good time.
“Oh, since we’re going to the Royal Capital, why don’t we visit His Highness as well? I’m sure he’s worried about you, Lady Eleanora.”
“Sir Edwin...”
“Yes, your beloved Prince Edwin!”
Until very recently, Eleanora could be convinced of anything by bringing up Prince Edwin’s name—which is why I had brought him up by force of habit, without thinking properly. Now that she was a fallen aristocrat, and he was the second prince, they could never end up together, and I had accidentally reminded her of this unfortunate fact.
"No, we can’t,” Eleanora sighed, her expression clouding. “I’m no longer an aristocrat, and Sir Edwin is a member of the royal family. It would only cause trouble for him if I were to tell him how I felt.”
"Lady Eleanora...”
"It’s all right, though! I have you and Sir Patrick! There is joy to be had in this new life!” Eleanora said, mustering a brave smile.
Oh no, I feel like I’m gonna start crying. She’s so gracefully stepping back out of care for the person she loves. Eleanora’s such a good girl that it hurts. Maybe I should put everything I have into getting her and Prince Edwin together. With that thought, I visualized the prince's face, imagining us standing by the altar, Eleanora on my arm... I won't give away my darling Eleanora as your bride! You have no right to call me your father!
“I’ll provide for you for the rest of your life, Lady Eleanora! In fact, I’ll marry you!”
“What? Your partner is Sir Patrick, Yumiella."
“No worries, I'll leave him. I’m calling oft' our engagement. It's the trendy thing to do these days.”
“What?! What are you even saying?!” Eleonora covered her face with her hands in shock and disbelief.
I'll just have to end things with Patrick. If it’s for my dear Eleanora, I have no choice.
Eleanora's hands leapt suddenly from her mouth to press against her head, and she let out a little scream. She scanned our surroundings wildly.
“Huh...?” She seemed dazed.
“What happened?” I asked.
"Did you not hear the voice that spoke just now?”
I hadn’t heard anything. Since my hearing was better than Eleanora’s, it was highly likely that she was having an auditory hallucination. Perhaps the stress was getting to her after all.
Eleanora explained that she’d heard a voice saying, "I don’t approve. I’ll be there right away.”
The voice of someone who would be against our marriage... I see. It must be that overprotective father of hers So he's coming here, huh? Hold on... I should just go and see him myself I'll let him know that his precious only daughter is all mine! Bwa ha ha ha!
“We need to go see the Duke... I mean, the person who is totally not your father but just happens to look exactly like him.”
“Oh, wonderful! We get to visit Father!”
He was, of course, only someone who looked like her father. After all, as far as the rest of the world was concerned, the Duke of Hillrose was dead. Various parties had a vested interest in the Duke’s death, so it would be quite a mess if it got out that he was still secretly alive.
I scooped Eleanora up into my arms and jumped out of the nearest window, running to my adorable dragon Ryuu, who was alseep in the yard.
“Well then, let's head out.”
“Eek! I can walk on my own! Put me down!”
♦ ♦♦
An hour later, we arrived at the village in which the ex-Duke lived, one that had just been built several months ago. Granted, fully fifty-five minutes of that hour were spent waking Ryuu up, and only five were spent flying here. In retrospect, running would have been faster.
The sun was now rising, slowly warming the chilly autumn morning. We walked to the house we’d visited together several times before, and I knocked on the door with perhaps overly exuberant violence.
“Come out! The lord of the county has arrived,” I called.
Eleanora's father opened the door, irritation written plain on his face. “Shut up! Why do you always bother me...” His expression changed when he caught sight of his daughter. “Eleanora! Welcome, come on in. I’ll prepare some tea.”
"Father!”
The pair of them embraced and entered the house hand-in-hand.
Your daughter’s going to be nineteen soon. Aren't you guys a bit too clingy?
I attempted to enter the house as well, following behind them, but Eleanora’s father swung his head back and shot me a glare.
"I have 110 need for you. Leave us at once.”
"I’ve come to notify you of a betrothal.”
“A betrothal? You mean between you and the margrave’s boy? I already know, and I have no plans to celebrate the occasion.”
"No, between Lady Eleanora and me.”
“What?! What’s the meaning of this?!” The man shoved his daughter protectively behind him. “Eleanora getting married?! Who is she marrying?! Who the blazes is the man?!”
Oh, he misunderstood me, and he thinks that I meant his daughter has a boyfriend. There’s no need to worry; she's marrying me.
"Like I said, it’s me.”
“What?”
“I said, Lady Eleanora and I are getting married.”
“Wh— ...I won’t allow it! I won’t have it!” my future father-in-law exclaimed, trembling with agitation.
I guess he’s not going to give us his blessing after all Maybe Eleanora’s auditory hallucinations were a subconscious manifestation of his unpleasant personality. But I have no need for his blessing. He can’t even leave the village without risking discovery. There’s no way he can get in the way of our true love.
"It’s perfectly fine if you won’t allow it. We’ll do what we please.”
“You don’t deserve Eleanora, and you’ll be a terrible influence on her! I’m going to keep my daughter away from you!” Eleanora’s father snatched up a hoe leaning against the entryway and took a battle stance.
Are you planning to fight me? Bring it on, III take my bride from you by force.
Just as we were about to launch the attack, Eleanora interrupted us hesitantly. “U-Um... Father? Yumiella? I am not marrying you, Yumiella.”
What, no way?!
We both returned to our normal stances and turned to her.
"I like Yumiella, but not in that way,” Eleanora explained.
"Is that true, Eleanora?!” her father demanded. “Does that mean you haven’t been violated by this despicable individual?!”
"No, I haven’t!” Eleanora confirmed emphatically, her face bright red. Did I just get...rejected?
The former Duke of Hillrose looked my way with a delighted grin. I was vexed.
“Ha ha, how pathetic, Countess.”
"Urgh...” I switched tactics. “Lady Eleanora, would you like to go on a trip? Let’s go to a tourist destination with a beach view. It’s autumn, but it shouldn’t matter if we’re not swimming.”
“How glorious! I’ve only been to the beach twice!” Eleanora sidestepped her father and made her way towards me.
I gave the former Duke Hillrose a smug look and a scornful chuckle. He couldn’t take his daughter on vacations; he couldn’t easily leave this village.
Why don’t you sit there and imagine us enjoying some seafood or something.
The man's face twisted with animosity before quickly reverting to a kind expression.
“Eleanora, why don’t you stay here tonight?”
“How delightful! It’s a sleepover!”
I had lost. Eleanora left my side and went towards my opponent. To my annoyance, the sleepover card he played wouldn’t work for me because Eleonora and I already lived together.
But I do have a card with a similar effect. Draw!
"Lady Eleanora, would you like to have a pajama party tonight?”
“How splendid! We can stay up late and talk all night!”
"Eleanora, let’s make dinner together tonight,” her father offered. “I’ve learned how to make a few things since coming here.”
“How marvelous! I get to cook with Father!” Eleanora kept bouncing back and forth between me and her father.
This was becoming a battle of endurance. There was a limit to how many more cards we could play, but holding back would result in an immediate loss. We had to keep picking the strongest cards in our hand.
"Lady Eleanora, would you like to have an imoni party?”
“How thrilling!” She seemed to consider a moment. “What is an e-moanie party?”
"It’s a party during which you make a dish that isn't particularly good outdoors in a pot.”
"I don’t want to go to that...”
What?!Ill admit, imoni is just pretty much miso soup. But, there's something deep in my soul screaming out that I should never forgive those who make fun of imoni parties and those who prefer soy sauce to miso in their imoni. It’s actually a fun autumn tradition once you’ve tried it. As far as other outdoor cooking activities go, I'm against barbecues, but I’m okay with imoni parties.
Eleanora, who had returned to her father, was now getting excited about a sleepover again. Had the winner been determined?
What's something Eleanora likes...
"I see, so you won’t be coming home tonight. That’s fine. Patrick and I will entertain ourselves. By adorably feeding each other. The two of us alone. Together.”
"Oh! I think I’ll pass on the sleepover after all,” Eleanora told her father. "I’ll be going home. Of course,” she gushed, turning to me. "I won’t bother you two, so please adorably feed each other all you like. I promise not to peek. I definitely won’t.”
I win. Romantic scenarios are her favorite. So much so that every time she catches Patrick and I alone together, she hides behind a pillar or a wall and stares at us with an almost terrifying intensity.
As expected, Eleanora was now sporting the biggest grin of excitement she had shown all day.
"Eleanora, I’ll spoon-feed you your dinner,” her father suggested as a last resort, unable to accept his loss.
Who wants their father spoon-feeding them? I’ve prepared the most ultimate bait, romance between her two best friends She would never turn on me now...
"How thrilling! Father’s going to feed me dinner!”
My best friend had betrayed me for her father.
I really don't understand what makes these two tick. If it’s come to this, my next move is to...
And so, we waged a battle, fighting over Eleanora. In the end, it came down to a duel. I had no recollection of how we ended up settling on a duel. That’s just what war was like—it was triggered by something so trivial. We passed the point of no return long ago. Looking back on it now, it may have already been set that we would be dueling from the moment I had arrived. No matter how many times we did this over, we wouldn’t be able to outrun our fate.
“Are you ready?”
“Of course,” the ex-duke said scornfully. “You’ll regret it if you depend on your high level to win.”
We were going to throw our strength at each other, and the winner would get Eleanora. It was the simpler, purer way to settle our differences. The arguing we had done up to now felt insignificant and pointless.
Eleanora's father and I readied ourselves in his front yard. I was planning to fight with my bare hands, while he was armed with a sword. Eleanora had left to roam the village, saying she was bored.
Her father and I were about ten steps apart from each other. With my physical capabilities, I could close that distance in the blink of an eye. I was ready to send him off with the strongest attack in the world the moment that the duel began.
“Well then, the duel begins the moment this rock hits the ground,” I announced.
“Certainly. That moment will be your end.”
I threw up a palm-sized rock high up into the air and declared, “Lady Eleanora is my friend.”
“Eleanora is my daughter,"her father retorted.
Neither of us looked at the rock—we both had our gazes locked on our nemesis.
“My victory will be set in stone the moment I hear the rock hit the ground.”
“Say what you’d like while you still can.”
Surely, the rock would plunge to the ground soon. The time it was taking to fall felt like an eternity. The battle was certainly less than mere seconds away from beginning.
After waiting a bit more, I finally spoke up. “It’s not coming down...”
“Strange..."
We both looked up at the sky, but the rock was nowhere to be seen.
Huh? I definitely threw it.
I began looking for a new rock to start the process over. Just then, I heard a voice call out to me. I turned to find Patrick behind me.
“What are you doing here, Patrick?”
“What are you doing now...?” heasked with a sigh.
“The du— I mean this guy and I are about to duel.” Patrick gave me a look that said, “why,” so I had to explain things from the beginning. It started when... “Um... I was going to marry Lady Eleanora. Oh, by the way, I decided to call off our engagement.”
“My engagement ended without me even knowing.”
“So I came by to let her father know and to say hello, but Lady Eleanora turned down my proposal. So I thought I could pretend that I never called off our engagement if I kept my mouth shut.”
“My engagement is back on without me even knowing.”
“After that, her father and I started fighting over Lady Eleanora, but we couldn’t decide on a winner, so we challenged one another to a duel.” Lady Eleanora herself was currently traipsing around the village. The more I listened to myself explain the situation, the more nonsensical I found it to be.
But why did Patrick know where we were? Does he have a tracker on me? As those thoughts flashed across my mind, Patrick opened his mouth to explain.
“Ryuu came to fetch me just now. He probably figured that you were in over your head.” Behind Patrick was Ryuu, looking a bit ragged after going back and forth between the estate and the village twice now.
Ryuu is such a good boy.
I couldn’t deny that there was a possibility that this duel would have developed into an actual battle to the death if Patrick hadn’t arrived.
The former Duke of Hillrose threw down the sword in his hand and spat out, “Hmph. Looks like your dragon is more intelligent than you are.”
“Oh come on, that’s a bit too much praise,” I demurred with a smile. “He’s still quite the handful, you know?”
Ryuu was complimented for being a good boy! It's nice to hear regardless of who it comes from.
A blue vein throbbed in the ex-Duke’s forehead as he turned to Patrick. “You’re the one in charge of her, right? How about you take responsibility and watch her a little more closely?”
“Um, well... You’re right. I’m sorry,” Patrick said apologetically.
There’s no need for you to apologize, Patrick. I’m the one who’s mostly at fault here.
After that, there was no escaping Eleanora’s father as he talked our ears off about topics ranging from how I was a bad influence on his daughter, to how he was worried for her safety in my presence, to how he felt sorry for her having to put up with me. This went on for some time.
We didn’t escape from the nagging duke until well past noon. The three of us returned home and rested for a bit before having lunch.
Eleanora stared, mesmerized, her eyes sparkling, as she watched me shove hot soup into Patrick’s mouth.
“Hot! It’s hot! Stop it!” he exclaimed.
I want to sleep peacefully tonight. I think III have the pajama party rescheduled for some time after tomorrow.
♦♦♦
“You seem to get into a lot of trouble. Or rather, you seem to attract trouble to yourself.”
"People are always getting me mixed up in their problems. It’s been a real issue for me.”
"I think it’s usually your fault.”
I was having this dream again. The one with the boy in the utterly dark space, the one who claimed to be the god of darkness, Lemn. He was dressed in black from head to toe in clothing that appeared to be of a high quality, making him give oft' an aristocratic air.
Why did I forget all these details the last time I woke up?
The self-proclaimed god with black hair flashed a smile, showing his white teeth.
"Do you remember your dream from yesterday?”
"I believe we were talking about whether I was pure.”
“Well...as long as you remember it.” The boy tilted his head to the side as he smiled. The sight was cute, and he didn’t seem like a god in the slightest.
I've wanted a brother like this. Dear god, please give me a little brother.
“Wouldn’t you be better off asking your parents instead of me?” he asked innocently.
"Never mind, I don’t want a little brother.”
If I were to suddenly gain a younger brother at this point in my life, it would be more than awkward.
I should accept things as they currently are and enjoy my life as an only child. Wait... Did I even mention wanting a brother out loud?
"I can tell even if you don’t say it out loud. This is a dream. There’s no such a thing as truths or pretenses in a dream, are there?”
"Clear your mind, clear your mind, clear you mind,” I chanted under my breath.
Don’t think about anything. Don't think about not thinking about anything. I’ve got to clear my mind. I can't even think about clearing my mind. If I reach a state of enlightenment, then this demon enlightening the dark comers of my mind won’t be a threat.
Clear your mind, clear your mind, clear your mind.
“Wouldn’t it be nice if clearing your mind was that easy?” He paused and then said one word. “Patrick.”
Clear your mind, clear you mind, I like Patrick, I like him so much, I love Patrick... This is bad, Patrick is getting into my inner monologue. Even if it’s Patrick, anyone who gets in my way will be someone I’ll ha—there’s no way I would. I love him. Four turrets, a total of sixteen guns, fire the I-love-you barrage!
“What is an I-love-you barrage...?” the boy asked after a short pause.
“Aaagh!”
Having my private thoughts so closely read by Lemn felt so horribly violating that I fell to my knees. I cried as I slammed my head repeatedly against the black floor made of an unknown material.
I want to wake up already. I want to flee from this public humiliation as soon as possible.
♦♦♦
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