Adachi to Shimamura - Volume 2 - Chapter 6.1

Chapter 6 White Album

It was the night before the 25th. Obviously unable to sleep, I sat there on top of my bed. 
I stared at my phone in a stalemate. All that was left was pressing the send button. I found it very difficult to do so, however. My index finger moved towards the screen, then away from it. I brushed my bangs to the side, all the while trying to find the courage to do it. What time was it? I glanced at the clock, although that only caused me to panic more; I wouldn't be getting an extension. 
"Looking forward to tomorrow." 
Was that too much? Would she think that it was weird? It was worries like those that held my finger in place. I knew it would be pointless sending it if Shimamura was already asleep, but even so, I wasn't able to decide if I should. My finger kept tapping the surface of the send button without actually pressing it. 
Somehow, I had managed to muster just the right amount of strength to make sure that I was utterly incapable of pressing it down, no matter how hard I tried. What was I doing? This was stupid. Squirming around, I rubbed my forehead against the bed. I needed to get some sleep too, yet here I was, wide awake. I was going to end up with rings around my eyes for our date at this rate, and I didn't want that. As such, it would better to simply push the button and be done with it. 
If I didn't send the message, I would certainly regret it later. As for sending it, yeah, I might end up regretting it, but there was also a chance that I might not. 
Looking at it that way, it was a simple decision. A real no-brainer. My head turned away, I extended only my finger and pressed the button as if this was someone else's problem. I could feel the button sinking under my finger, after which I quickly turned to look at the screen. I caught the end of a simplistic animation of a paper plane flying, followed by the words "message sent". I tossed the phone on the bed, leaned against the wall, and let out a nonsensical laugh. I then hopped off the bed and slouched forward, pretending like I was thinking hard about something. 
Like the saying went, a watched pot never boils. Perhaps the same principle could be applied here? Acting like I didn't care, I sat there, biding my time. Then, when the moment came, I turned around and... nothing. No reply. I turned back. 
I sat down on my chair and opened one of my textbooks, trying to act like I wasn't interested in seeing her reply. I then closed the book without having read a single line out of it. I collapsed onto my desk and, using my arm as a substitute for a pillow, turned my head sideways. My feet continued stamping the floor below it. I shut my eyes, but that only caused hazy mist to fill my head. In that haze, I saw the blurred image of Shimamura walking with Nagafuji from the other day. Feelings of frustration and self-hatred tormented me as I stared at the image in my mind. 
I couldn't see myself ever growing to enjoy this unique sense of nervousness—like having my stomach full of heavy stones—that I always felt as I waited for her to reply. I was worried how she'd reply, and more importantly, if she'd reply at all. I was well aware that Shimamura wasn't the kind of person who fussed about replying to text messages, and that only made it worse. Even so, I found myself fiddling with my hair, hoping that this time, she'd reply quickly. 
It was for this reason that the sudden sound of my phone ringing caused me to fall off the chair I was sitting on. Literally. I pushed myself up, dashed towards my bed, and grabbed the phone. Frantically navigating through the menus, I rolled onto my back and held the device up high. I then opened Shimamura's reply, filled with such nervousness that I felt like I might get dizzy. 
"Y" 
That was her reply. A single letter. Huh? What is this? "Y" as in... what? "Yeah"? "Why"? I honestly had no clue how to interpret it. 
This was exactly why I hated texting. All you got were these dry, emotionless words. 
The thing was, the reply being a single letter long had nothing to do with Shimamura; it wasn't difficult to imagine someone else texting me something similar. For some reason, everyone seemed to favour messages that were as vague as possible and basically impossible for the receiver to accurately decipher. But, when you were talking, you couldn't do that. Your emotions and feelings seeped into your reactions, allowing the person on the other end to receive them. 
That was to say, I wanted to hear Shimamura's voice. I wanted to learn more about her. 
"Well, I guess I'll get to hear a lot of it tomorrow." 
Right. It wasn't time yet. I'd made a false start, and this was what I had ended up with. 
Convincing myself of that, I crawled under the sheets. My body felt warm, almost as if I'd spread a thin net over my head that was keeping all of that heat in. 
I wanted to fall asleep quickly and for it to be tomorrow. 
And yet, for some reason, it was always these nights, the nights you felt that way, that you spent lying wide-awake in your bed. It really was tough being a human. 

Now that I thought about it, I had met with Shimamura here one time in October. I'd woken up before my alarm that day and—unable to fall back asleep—had turned it off. That turned out to be a huge mistake, however, as I did end up falling asleep afterwards, ultimately resulting in me being late. On the bright side, at least it taught me a lesson and helped me avoid being late this time. It did come at the cost of five large yawns in the span of a single minute, though. 
Each yawn caused me to shiver. Feeling slightly tired, I'd decided to give myself some time to properly wake up before the morning bath. That also turned out to be a huge mistake; my hair wasn't even fully dry yet when I realised that the clock was ticking and I had to rush out. I'd planned to take my time combing it and getting it just right, but it seemed like I wouldn't be doing that after all. My hair being wet would also have the effect of making the temperature outside feel even colder. 
I'd been the one who had decided that we would meet in front of the town's information centre, located within the mall. Although it wasn't the same mall as the one I'd gone to with Hino to buy the tea, this one did also have a giant Christmas tree. Made sense, I suppose. Speaking of the tree, not only would meeting in front of it have been the safer choice, it was what everyone did; I'd taken a quick look around when I'd first come here, and let's just say, the number of couples was clearly out of the ordinary. So many that, even if a giant or a god was to walk in and start picking them up like humans picked up clams during a low tide, there would still be plenty left after they were done. And yet, I could see hardly any couples of the same gender. Not that I expected to. It made sense, I suppose. 
I once again grew self-conscious about how much we stuck out. I wonder, did Shimamura hate that? 
It might be that she was only coming because she felt obligated due to us being friends. 
I wasn't sure if me being sleep-deprived was the cause for it or what, but the second I let my mind wander, it became filled with negative thoughts. 
My reasoning for choosing this location had been that, the further away from the couples we met, the less attention we would draw to ourselves. It was also convenient for me: There would be fewer witnesses if I wanted to hold her hand. Did I? I was still on the fence about it. It felt like walking backwards while simultaneously facing forward. 
I yawned again, after which I thought back to the events of October. That blue-haired girl had come with us that time, and I could only pray that the same wouldn't happen again. No extras this time, please. Us meeting on this specific day had only become reality because I'd shown courage. It was for that reason that I didn't want to share it with anyone. 
As I couldn't see a clock anywhere, I used my phone to check the time. I also checked my messages. The latest one was still the "Y" from yesterday. That was to say, she hadn't decided to cancel at the last minute. I sighed in relief. Five minutes remained until eleven, our meeting time. 
"Ah, you're already here." 
I lifted my eyes off my phone, only to spot the person who I'd been waiting for. 
While my heart obviously didn't make an audible throb or anything silly like that as I saw her, I did still feel my chest tighten slightly. 
There was no mistaking it. That figure in the distance, waving lightly, was her. 
Shimamura. She'd come on time, and by herself. 
That last bit was especially important. Feeling relieved, I waved back at her. 
"Did I keep you waiting?" 
"No, I just got here." 
"Liar. I was watching you for the last five minutes from over there", Shimamura stated, her finger pointed at me. She'd seen right through my lie. Five minutes? More like fifteen. I instantly grew flustered. That might have been the reaction that Shimamura was after, however, because as she saw me do so, a wide grin appeared on her face. 
"It was just a joke. Anyway, sorry I kept you waiting", she explained before moving next to me. She was wearing a black dress with a flower pattern, and on top of it a jacket with a fur trim hood. A pair of brown boots was what she'd chosen as footwear, and as for her bag, it was similar to the one she always used. 
Her hair clearly had a lot of time put into it, although you could also see tiny black slivers on top of her head. 
No matter how you sliced it, this was just your normal holiday Shimamura. 
With her by my side, we began walking. It only took a few steps for the image of her walking with Nagafuji to appear in my mind. Quite a while had passed since the incident, yet the sight still continued to pester me from time to time. Stop, I repeated to myself with my hand on my forehead. 
As I did that, Shimamura turned towards me. Had my emotions crept to my face? Panicking slightly, I put on a forced smile. Then again, me grinning was probably what had caught her attention in the first place. 
"Hey, Adachi. There's something that has been bothering me from the moment I saw you." 
"Huh? What's that?" 
That expression, "from the moment I saw you", caused my body to shiver. You might have thought that I was nervous about what she was going to say, but it was actually the opposite; I was nervous because I knew what it was that was bothering her. 
Shimamura peered inside my coat and squinted. 
"Why are you wearing a China dress?" 
"Oh... So, you noticed?" I said while gripping the edges of the dress I'd borrowed from work. I was wearing a coat on top, but beneath it glittered the light blue China dress with its embroidered flowers. As for my feet, I'd gone with a pair of flattened court shoes, though they didn't really match the rest of my outfit. 
I knew that this would happen. She thought that I looked weird, didn't she? Heck, even I thought that. Though I had spent hours and hours agonizing over it and even went out of my way to buy fresh new clothes, in the end, this was what I'd settled with. Why? I felt out of place, like a lost child who had no idea what they were doing, but it was way too late now. 
Looking back to last evening, putting myself in the state of mind I'd been in, I could only find a single answer to that question: 
Shimamura had once said that she thought it was cute. That seemed to have ended up being the deciding factor. 
Apparently, I valued Shimamura's offhand comments more highly than my own feelings. 
"Weird..." 
I already had a feeling that we were going to earn curious looks walking together, and now this. It was just horrible. 
Would Shimamura be willing to give me the time to run over to the nearby clothing store and buy a new outfit? 
"Anyway", she grumbled with her head tilted slightly. "I just wonder if people are going to think that you're trying to pull customers for some weird establishment. Oh, don't get me wrong. I think it's great. Kinda cute." 
"Hm..." 
"It's the benefit of being pretty. Everything looks good on you", Shimamura flattered me jokingly. I found it difficult to decide how to react; even if she hadn't meant it seriously, the fact remained that she had just called me pretty. Either way, blushing here would likely make things awkward, which is why I tried my best not to. How exactly do you stop yourself from blushing? I'm sure. I tried flexing the muscles in my cheeks, although in retrospect, that likely had no effect whatsoever. 
"Your outfit is cuter, Shimamura..." 
This was my way of rebutting (was that the most suitable word?) her calling me pretty. Though she had likely been joking when she said that, me, I really meant my comment. Even so... 
"Hahaha. Stop with those sarcastic remarks." 
...it was taken as a joke. 
Despite the back-and-forth, it seemed that Shimamura approved of the China dress. Knowing that she felt that way helped me relax, allowing me to reach the conclusion that it might not have been so strange after all. I shook off the weight that had been pinning my feet in place and began walking forward. There was a real chance that I might break into a sprint if I were to let my guard down, or at least it felt that way. In any case, I needed to be careful not to get too excited. Don't get flustered. Not today. 
"So then, where will you take me?" 
"Umm... I was thinking of the second floor", I said, pointing in the direction of the escalator. Thanks to coming here daily for the past three days to have a preliminary look around, I had the layout of the mall pretty much memorized. I'd walked all over the place, trying to decide what we should do. 
The escalator was immediately behind the information centre. As we got there, I glanced at Shimamura's hands, swaying beside her. Though their backs seemed cold, the same couldn't be said about her palms; they had a certain sense of vibrancy to them. I checked my surroundings as if I was about to steal something, and after making sure that there weren't many pairs of eyes pointed our way, I stuck my arm out with the intention of gripping her hand. In that instant, the world around me went white. It was like I was flying through space, unable to move my head as though it'd been fixed in place with a nail. All feelings of cowardice vanished from my mind as I left the decision of how to proceed up to my body. It was perhaps for this reason that my arm ended up moving with way too much force, causing Shimamura to let out a sharp yelp the moment my fingers wrapped around her hand. In conclusion, her thumb was forced to bend out of the way. I instantly panicked and rushed to adjust my grip. Even though her thumb was now back to being straight, a frown still remained on her face. I felt like I was about to turn pale. She hadn't sprained her finger or anything, right? 
"I'm so sorry." 
"Yeah", Shimamura nodded while inspecting her finger. She didn't show any signs of pain on her face after bending it a couple of times, from which I could judge that she hadn't been injured. I sighed in relief, immediately after which Shimamura's eyes turned towards me. 
I felt myself shrivel under her gaze; the look in her eyes made it clear that she blamed me for what just happened. Thinking about it, her getting mad at me wasn't really something that I had ever experienced. She was very tolerant of my sometimes eccentric behaviour. Regardless, even she wasn't able to simply ignore it when pain was thrown into the mix, right? I was scared. Above all, scared that Shimamura was going to get a bad impression of me. 
It didn't end up going that way, thankfully; I don't know if it was due to her seeing me shaking in fear and drawing my neck in or what, but in any case, Shimamura sighed something to the effect of "whatever", after which the frown on her face turned into a slight smile. I was saved, at least partly. She then pulled me by the hand to the wall next to the escalator, likely to avoid inconveniencing other people by standing in front of it. 
The window of the opposing store, as well as our images, reflected off the polished wall. 
"Hey. Can you stop grabbing my hand as if you were a purse snatcher or something?" 
"Sorry. I'm really sorry." 
I apologized as earnestly as I could, yet I still wouldn't let go of her hand. Shimamura stared at it, hard. 
I was too scared to see the expression on her face to look up. 
"You want to hold hands?" 
I nodded, before adding "if possible". What I really wanted to say was "definitely", but I decided not to. 
"Have we had this conversation before?" 
I nodded, before adding "maybe". Of course, I actually remembered it clearly. 
"Hmm... Hm, hmm..." 
I could hear Shimamura muttering above my head. It sounded like she was conflicted about something. Right. This date, the 25th, carried a lot of implications with it, and it made sense that even she would be troubled by them. I found myself growing increasingly unsure what to do as various thoughts bounced around in my head. Some were asking me what I was doing, some telling me to let go of her hand. Yet, if my goal was to become special to her, remaining silent would only make things worse. I had to do something. 
Of course, what the right approach was, that was a whole other problem. 
Jumping straight to holding hands after how much trouble I'd had sending a single text message was just too much, stated my conservative side. While that might have been true, it was far too late now. Pulling my hand away wouldn't change the reality that I'd grasped hers. As such, there was no point in doing so. 
I felt as if an eternity had passed. My ears were cold, and so were my legs. Even the coat wasn't able to keep them warm. I so hated the China dress and its stupid slit. The only warm thing around was the hand of Shimamura that I held. 
Her fingers had been extended earlier, but now, they rested wrapped around mine. 
"Well, whatever." 
I could feel something welling up inside me as her warmth poured from her fingers into mine. Shimamura felt my warmth too, I was sure. 
"From now on, make sure to ask permission first before you grab my hand, okay?" 
"Shie—" 
"What kind of a reaction is that? How did you even make that sound?" 
Shimamura stared at me with her eyes wide open. There was going to be a next time? She didn't mind holding hands? These bits of information I'd picked up from her request had caught all of my attention, and were what resulted in that weird noise coming from my mouth. I wonder, why was I acting so suspiciously? It was probably Shimamura's fault. 
"It kinda sounded like you were saying 'shrimp'." 
"Please, just ignore it... Anyway, yeah, got it. I'll let you know beforehand from now on, I promise." 
Honestly, I much preferred simply extending my hand without getting her approval first. It was way easier. Doing it this way, there was yet another hurdle for me to climb over. 
Don't get me wrong, the fact that she didn't mind holding hands as long as I asked first definitely made me happy. 
Then again, from Shimamura's perspective, she probably didn't have any particular desire for doing it. 
All of this made me feel a little lonely. We were standing on parallel bars, me alone scrambling towards her, about to fall. That was the image that came to my mind. 
"Also", Shimamura stated before raising her hand, "there's no need for you to act like you're in a hurry. It's not like someone else's gonna walk over and snatch my hand away from you." 
Her remark was accompanied by a smile. 
Those words highlighted just how much I sought her hand, and instantly filled me with shame. The fact that she was saying them without noticing that herself was quite troubling as well. 
And yet... 
I wasn't the only person who walked by her side. Nagafuji had done so a couple of days ago, for an example. 
That was why I'd found myself wanting to take her hand first, even if by force. 
I thought about stating that as an objection, but stopped just before the words managed to come out of my mouth. 
We'd returned to the escalator, and were now being carried up by it. I'd really been saved by its existence; my legs felt numb and stiff, and had it been regular stairs instead of an escalator, I likely wouldn't have been able to climb them. 
I stood a couple of steps above Shimamura, and she stood a couple of steps below me. Our hands still grasped each other's. A couple passed us—a man and a woman. I could feel them staring at us, and the thought caused my shoulders to grow tense. Though Shimamura didn't seem to care all that much, personally, I was very conscious of it, conscious of the fact that we were holding hands. 
There was no more room for thoughts in my mind. Why had we taken the escalator up? Where were we planning on going on the second floor? The notepad inside my head had been wiped clean, making it feel like the three days' worth of scouting I'd done had been for nothing. Awkwardly, as if being dragged by Shimamura, I stepped off the escalator and looked around. Umm... Oh, yeah. To the right from there. 
"I... I thought we could have fun here", I explained. Did that sound weird? Probably. Anyway, it was the same place we'd come to bowl previously. My eyes glossed over a sign with the words "multi-entertainment space" written on it as we walked in. The door then closed behind us, and in that instant, all traces of the Christmas music that had been blasting inside the mall vanished. Instead, my ears were now filled with a different type of sound. That was, noise. 
"Bowling?" 
"No, not bowling." 
Call it a superstition, but I had a feeling that the blue-haired girl would show up if we started bowling. As such, I'd decided that we would do something else this time. Ignoring the ping-pong and billiard corners as well, I made my way towards the loudest section of the store, the arcade. 
There weren't all that many customers present. In fact, the noise that filled the establishment wasn't even caused by people. No, it was all being played automatically by the various machines. By the entrance stood a picture portraying a smiling character from one of the medal games, and as I stared at it, I found myself getting sad for some reason. Sentimental, even. It was similar to how I had felt as a child when I'd found out that my favourite character had suddenly stopped being popular and would be discontinued. 
We walked past the medal games, circled around the massive bingo machines, until at last finding ourselves in front of what I'd been looking for. In the depths of the arcade, there was an air hockey table. That had been my goal. While the table did certainly seem quite old compared to the newer ones next to it which also appeared to offer faster-paced play, I'd purposefully ignored them in the favour of the more orthodox option. 
"What about air hockey?" 
It resembled table tennis in more ways than one. If there was a game that was meant for us, this was it. 
Going to see a film had been another option I'd considered, though I'd ultimately chosen this one as it felt more exciting. Also, in hindsight, there was a good chance that I might have literally fallen asleep if we'd gone there. Combining lack of sleep with cosy seats and darkness tended to end that way. That was all to say, I needed to keep my body moving. 
"Hockey, huh? I see." 
I'd never actually played it before, but who cared. 
"Alright. Let's do it." 
"Yeah." 
Those words had barely left my mouth as Shimamura began taking off her jacket, likely in preparation for the activity that awaited us. She only managed to expose her shoulders, though, before her body shivered violently. 
"I'll take it off once I start getting warm", she stated while sliding her arms back through the sleeves. Then, she picked up the orange... racket? mallet? from the small basket and walked over to the other side of the table. 
While it did make sense, and we couldn't play air hockey otherwise, I still found it regrettable that I was forced to let go of her hand. 
A round cost 200 yen. We both put in a hundred-yen coin each, after which air began shooting through the pores covering the table, lifting the puck slightly into the air. I held it down with the mallet. The point system came alive as well, both of our displays showing the number zero. 
"Hehehe", Shimamura giggled. Why? I had no idea. It was almost like she was taunting me. "You can start, Adachi." 
Strangely generous of her to let me go first. Was that just how confident she was in herself? Accepting her offer, I grabbed the puck and pulled it to me. 
And so, our match began in the nearly empty arcade. 
The fact that I'd chosen air hockey only after coming here in advance and seeing how unpopular the place was would forever remain a secret from Shimamura. 
Despite my plan to hit the puck gently to start off with, a massive sound effect played as my mallet came into contact with it, quite startling me. Was this how these things worked now, the puck played sounds? Not letting the opening go to waste, Shimamura hit it back with a sharp flick of the wrist. 
The puck flew across the table, narrowly missing my goal and instead bouncing off the wall next to it. It then landed on the table in front of me, in the perfect position for me to smack it. This time, I took a solid stance before hitting the puck with as much strength as I could muster. It glided towards Shimamura, and a second later, disappeared inside her goal. I hadn't been aiming for it or anything. No, it'd been pure luck. 
"Oh?" she squeaked as she glanced downwards at her goal. Her hair couldn't quite keep up with the speed at which she moved her head, and curled up noticeably. "Hmm. It's a bit different compared to what I'm used to." 
Her head tilted to the side, she stared at her mallet with a puzzled look in her eyes. 
"What do you mean?" 
"I play air hockey with my sister from time to time. We have a table at home, a Mario one. I figured this one might not play the same way, and it seems that I was right", she stated while tapping the mallet against her forehead. It now made sense why she had been giggling before we started; having played before, she'd been confident that she could beat me. Anyway, it was now time for round two. Shimamura went first this time. She shot the puck straight towards me, and I quickly swung my arm as if to send it back. I felt no response, however. 
I'd missed. How was that even possible? Thankfully, the puck ended up hitting the corner of the goal and bounced off. I glanced at Shimamura, and saw that she was getting ready to take advantage of the opening I'd given to her. Not on my watch. I quickly pulled the mallet back and smacked the puck before it managed to slide out of my reach, sending it flying towards Shimamura's goal. She'd left her guard wide open, and the puck slid right in. Another point for me. A stiff smile appeared on Shimamura's face. 
"Turning a miss into an opening? Way to go, Adachi." 
"Umm... Pretty good, huh?" I tried to boast, though my statement ended up sounding far less energetic than I had planned. At least it made Shimamura smile. 
At times like these, I really wished that I could use Hino as a reference. Then again, I suppose it might just end up looking creepy if I started acting all joyful all of a sudden. Even I thought that'd be too much. Wallowing in self-deprecation, I hit the puck. 
It was silly to be this into a game of air hockey, to try this hard to win. Yet, as I swung my arm, various thoughts ran about in my head. Thoughts about Shimamura, thoughts about me. 
I didn't remember the first person I'd felt love towards. It hadn't been someone of the same gender, though. At least, I felt like it hadn't been. Either way, for the current me, Shimamura stood above everyone else, in more ways than one. 
Perhaps gender wasn't something that mattered to me at present as far as human relations were concerned. 
Of course, I wasn't foolish enough to believe that it not mattering to me meant that it didn't matter to the people around me—to Shimamura. There were rules in society that required you to act modest and not stand out, and while I didn't agree with them, I recognized that they needed to be followed. 
Even so, I felt like there were many things in this world that it would be better without. At the same time, I chose to cherish the fact that we were here right now as something precious. The causes that had led to it becoming reality were varied. Had the summer not been so hot, had summer break not been so long. It was there, under circumstances created by chance, that we happened to apply to the same high school. Thankfully, we'd both passed. And let's not forget the fact that the lessons had been too boring to endure. 
Because otherwise, we would never have met on the second floor of the gym. 
Had we ended up meeting each other some other way, it would still have been possible to trace back the series of coincidences that had led there. All possible ways we could have come in contact came with their own histories, their own fates. It was only as the consequence of billions upon billions of distinct events that two people were able to encounter one another. What a journey it had been. 
One wrong choice, and the two of us would never have met. 
I could only thank the past me for making the right choices. 

"Wow, Adachi. You totally tricked me." 
"I mean, it's not like I lied or anything." 
After around six rounds of air hockey, we'd moved to the Freshness Burger on the first floor to get some tea. Despite it being a little late for it—that was, way past noon—we had also ended up eating lunch there. At no point during my planning had I thought about choosing some high-class restaurant. It was simply too much, even for Christmas. The atmosphere in those sorts of places wasn't the kind where it felt right walking in with another girl, and most importantly, there was the matter of splitting the bill. 
I'd saved money I earned at my part-time job for this occasion, meaning that I wanted to treat her. Yet, I knew Shimamura wasn't going to agree quite so easily. Even when trying to be nice to someone, you weren't freed from the burden of having to take their feelings into consideration. 
"You're pretty good, huh, Adachi?" Shimamura praised me while holding up one of the French fries she'd ordered off the set menu. 
The combined record for our air hockey games had ended up as four to two. I'd been the one with four wins. It seemed that Shimamura's experience hadn't managed to save her this time. Yet, that didn't mean that I was good. Rather, I was way worse than she thought. Not that I was ever going to say that to her. 
"Feeling confident in yourself and inviting a beginner to wipe the floor with her, I'm impressed." 
"That's not what I did", I stated back, denying her accusation while waving my hand sideways as emphasis. It seemed that Shimamura hadn't been serious either, and she quickly added "I did have fun, though" before putting an end to that topic. 
"You also won more times than I did when we played table tennis." 
"Oh, did I?" 
I didn't remember that clearly, but it sounded plausible. 
The hesitation in my voice gave Shimamura an opening. 
"No, wait. Maybe it was me after all?" she said, clearly pretending like she'd forgotten. 
"It's pretty sneaky exploiting my bad memory to alter the facts in your favour." 
My facial muscles had been really tense the whole day, but as we joked around, I could feel them loosening up. A slight smile appeared on my face. The more we were able to talk like this, the more relaxed I felt. Of course, I hadn't been fully tamed yet, meaning that there was always the chance that something would set me off and I'd go wild. Yet presently, everything was going smoothly. I did have a feeling that I'd shrivel up if I started looking around the store more than was necessary, but as I was purposefully not doing that, I couldn't say for sure. The reason being, of course, that the vast majority of the seats were occupied by couples consisting of a man and a woman. While I did know the real reason for it, I decided that it'd be better for me to pretend like they all just really liked Christmas. 
Shimamura sucked up some coffee with her straw before turning her eyes towards the parking lot outside of the window. 
"It feels like it was forever ago, doesn't it? Even though it's only been around four months." 
I definitely shared that sentiment. The decrease in the temperature alone made the thought of idling away on the second floor of the gym feel alien. At the same time, I could still see it clearly in my mind. 
"We'll start our second year, spring will come. Maybe we'll go hang out at the gym again once sunlight grows stronger?" Shimamura asked while staring directly at my face, almost as if she was testing me. 
To tell you the truth, I found it extremely pleasant passing time up there with her. Lying together with our bodies curled up, not in the oppressive late-summer heat but in the comfortable spring warmth, that was what I truly wished for. Yet, I also knew that Shimamura didn't want it to continue. 
"No, let's keep going to class and then come here after school. We can even play table tennis at the place on the second floor if we want." 
"100 points", Shimamura graded my answer. There was a smile of satisfaction on her face. "You've become quite the diligent student, Adachi." 
That was where she was wrong. I was merely going along with her. 
"Still, it's not guaranteed that we'll end up being placed in the same class", she stated completely casually. While it didn't seem to matter much to her, for me, it was a massive problem. 
Starting from today, I was going to be praying each night before bedtime that I got placed in the same class as her. I also needed to be ready in case I didn't. It was a real possibility, and I didn't want to get depressed if it ended up happening. 
Of course, that wasn't to say that being in the same class meant that we'd be talking to each other in the classroom. We couldn't. 
Even so, having Shimamura in my field of vision made me feel relaxed. Though we were just friends, I hated the idea of her making new friends somewhere I couldn't see her. When had I gotten this jealous? Or had I always been this way, but just hadn't been aware of it? 
That whole thing with Nagafuji still bugged me. If we ended up in separate classes, those sorts of things would be happening more often than before, wouldn't they? Rather than hating that, I was scared of it. I felt like the distance between us was just going to keep growing. 
We finished our coffees and exited Freshness Burger. After that, we took the escalator back to the second floor where we decided to sit down on the nearby chairs and take a break. 
In the end, Shimamura had never taken off her coat. Perhaps she was still feeling cold? I sat there on the chair, staring idly at the people walking past us. Shimamura's legs were slightly extended, and every now and then, she flapped them. I found it kinda cute in a way. Those childish things she did periodically never failed to draw my attention. 
Would this be a good moment to give her the present? I decided to go for it. 
"Hey, Shimamura. Take this." 
I pulled the bag of tea—wrapped in the Japanese style—from my bag and presented it to Shimamura. With a confused look on her face, she accepted the gift. 
"What's this?" she asked, her eyes turned towards me. 
"It's meant to be a Christmas present." 
"Oh, really?" 
It was clear from her voice that she was exaggerating her surprise. She held the bag high and examined it, blinking multiple times as she did. 
"Well, thanks. I'm glad." 
Shimamura scratched her cheek, clearly a little embarrassed. It was rare to see her like that. She held the bag against her chest, and as she did, her face twisted into a grin. I was reminded of the time when I sat between her legs, and found myself blushing as well. 
"Ah, it's this brand. The one that smells really good. I've been wanting to try this", she said with a broad smile on her face after checking the label. I felt relieved: It seemed that the information I'd gotten from Hino had been accurate. 
"Still, Adachi. How did you know that I wanted this?" 
Ah. 
Come to think of it, yeah. It was weird for me to know. 
"Was it just chance?" 
"...No, it wasn't." 
I decided to answer honestly. With her finger pressed against her forehead, Shimamura scanned our surroundings. It was like she was trying to remember something. 
"Oh. Did you ask Hino?" 
"Y-Yeah, I did." 
"That must have been tough on you", she said jokingly while patting my head. As far as I was concerned, that was the greatest reward I could've been given. 
Wanting to be patted more, I moved my head towards her, but unfortunately, Shimamura quickly pulled her hand away. Darn. 
"I really wasn't expecting for the both of us to have thought of this." 
"Huh?" 
"You've been a good girl, Adachi, so Big Sis wanted to give you a present." 
As she said that, Shimamura reached for her bag and pulled something out, just like I had mere moments ago. While the word "present" had gotten me quite excited, as I stared at the object she now held in front of me with, those feelings of excitement froze. Santa Shimamura's choice was shocking, to say the least. 
"What's that?" 
"A boomerang." 
I'd thought that it was a broken hanger. Either way, I accepted the blue, V-shaped object. Accepted it... 
"Here's goggles." 
I accepted the goggles, meant to protect my eyes. Accepted them... 
"I should wear these when I use it?" 
"Yep. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I did test it after buying it to see if it was fun. It was." 
"I see..." 
Those were the only words that came to mind. I was far too shocked, both by the fact that she'd gotten me a present, as well as by what the present had turned out to be, to react any other way. Was I meant to feel deeply moved as I gripped the boomerang, or was I not? 
"I really have no idea when it comes to choosing these sorts of things, which is why I decided to go to Nagafuji for advice. Although, you can see where that led me. I guess I chose the wrong person to ask, huh?" 
"Nagafuji? Ah..." 
That time when Shimamura had been walking with Nagafuji... 
That was what it'd been about? 
She'd gone to pick out a present, for me. 
Regardless of what she had ended up buying, the fact alone that she'd gone moved me greatly. I felt relieved, but at the same time, ashamed of myself. Frankly speaking, I'd been acting jealous. I shouldn't be feeling that way ever, and especially not when she was doing something for my sake. 
My hand landed on Shimamura's shoulder, forming a shaky bridge between us. 
"Adachi?" she asked. Her voice was filled with suspicion, and I couldn't really blame her; it was odd how I just sat there, motionless, my head hung. A thought crossed my mind: What would happen if I were to grab her by the shoulders, pull her to me, and hug her? While that would undeniably close our physical distance, I had a feeling that it would do the exact opposite to our relationship. 
It was for this reason that I decided to resist temptation. Using her shoulder as support, I slowly lifted up my head. 
I could feel that my cheeks were warm and swollen. I couldn't say for sure, but if I had to guess, I was likely blushing hard. 
"Thank you. I'll treasure this." 

While it definitely wasn't the way it was meant to be used, my plan for the boomerang was to put it on a shelf as a trophy. 
I'd keep it there forever, even if, for example, we stopped seeing each other. Not that I thought that was going to happen. No, it was just an example. 
"I'm glad that you like it." 
To tell you the truth, I wasn't particularly thrilled about the boomerang. The fact that Shimamura had given it to me, that was the real present. 
Then again, that alone was more than enough. Christmas came loaded with all sorts of implications, after all. 
Shimamura had been scratching her cheek, but now, a bright grin appeared on her face. 
"Now, what do you say we go outside and test it?" she proposed. 
"Huh?" 
"I thought I could teach you the proper throwing technique." 
Though my first reaction was to decline and tell her that there was no need to, as I gazed at her smile, I found it really difficult to get the words out of my mouth. 
What about the rest of our date? What about all of my plans? While I was busy panicking, Shimamura got up from the chair and headed towards the escalator. It seemed that she really did intend for us to go play with the boomerang. 
No matter how you looked at it, Shimamura was also slightly strange. 
Yet, perhaps it was due to that strangeness that she was willing to spend time with me? Thinking about it that way, I found myself being filled with joy. My body certainly seemed to agree with that interpretation, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. 
I ran up to Shimamura and took her hand, but not before quickly asking if it was okay to do so. 
This way, I wouldn't feel cold, not even when we went outside. 

We were the only two people at the park next to the driving school, sandwiched between the mall and the highway. Kids on their winter holidays were probably staying home playing video games or something, huh? The pieces of rusty playground equipment stood exposed in the cold wind, the layer of paint covering their surfaces mostly peeled off, creaking as their various parts scraped together. 
I had no memory of ever coming to a playground during winter, not even as a child. 
Under the supervision of Shimamura, I pulled the blue boomerang out of its bag. My hair had dried since the morning bath, and was now blowing in the wind. I took a look at her, and saw that Shimamura's hair wasn't immune to it either; she was forced to constantly swipe her bangs away to keep them out of her eyes. 
"Bring the boomerang behind you, and then hold it", she instructed me, sounding like she was reciting something she had heard from someone else. She then grabbed my hand and guided it to the right place. I found myself quite startled. Next, she adjusted my grip and the angle I was holding the boomerang. This toy was quickly proving itself useful. 
"Keep it vertical and toss it straight forward. Try to avoid throwing it too high." 
Having said that, Shimamura took a step backwards. I considered asking for a quick recap, but on second thought, she probably wouldn't be willing to give me one, would she? 
My hand began moving forwards, and in that moment, I realised I'd forgotten to wear the goggles. It was too late to do anything, however, as less than a second later, the boomerang had already been set free. 
I stared as the blue object soared towards the ultramarine sky. It vanished for a moment, as if having melted into the sunshine, but quickly reappeared, this time accompanied by the sharp sound of its blades cutting through the air. The way it had completely reversed its direction reminded me of a swimmer kicking the wall of a pool to turn quickly. I tried to catch the boomerang as it flew back to me, but to no avail; it ended up passing over my head. 
I walked near the round, mesh-like playground equipment where it had landed, picked it up, and brushed the sand off it. 
...Was I having fun? 
"This is how it tends to go when you first start, I think", Shimamura estimated, suddenly sounding like she was an expert at this. 
"Were you able to catch it, Shimamura?" 
"Like I said, this is how it tends to go when you first start." 
It seemed that the gap between us wasn't all that wide. I wonder, was the way I threw it the problem, or perhaps the angle? 
"Still, a person tossing a boomerang in a China dress. That's like something you'd see in a film." 
Shimamura's statement caused me to once again grow self-conscious of my choice of outfit. Speaking of which... I glanced down, and there it was: The giant slit that exposed most of my leg. Panicking slightly, I drew my leg closer to myself. I then tossed the boomerang in order to hide my embarrassment. The trajectory it took was pretty much the same as the first time, once again passing over my head and landing way behind me. 
I picked it up, but as I did, a thought crossed through my mind. I tilted my head, puzzled. 
Toss, fly, catch, repeat. It felt so... monotonous. 
Playing air hockey with Shimamura had been way more fun than this. Yes, it seemed that it wasn't for me. 
"Not really what you were hoping for, huh?" 
"I guess not", I muttered. That was putting it mildly. 
"I see", Shimamura replied. She didn't sound particularly disappointed. "Hmm... Should we go back so that I can buy you something else?" 
"No, it's fine", I said while waving the boomerang in the air. There was way more value to it than just whether or not I had fun using it. 
An expression of satisfaction formed on Shimamura's face as she watched it moving back and forth. The way she smiled made it feel like I was being stared at by an older sister or something. 
"In any case, I still think we should go back. It's way warmer inside." 
Having suggested that, Shimamura turned towards the entrance. I didn't mind going, but at the same time, I felt hesitant. There was something inside me, and that something was pulling my hair, warning me. 
It was only here, in a place without other people, that I could tell her what I truly felt in my heart. 
Definitely. The inside with all of the couples, it was no place to be talking about love, about affection. 
That was the reason why I did what I did. I wasn't ready. I felt like I might fall flat on my face any second now. And yet... 
"H-Hey!" 
A step forward. Stumbling, I drew closer to her. 
Shimamura turned around to look at me, and in that moment, I grabbed her hand and lifted it up. I then placed my second hand on top of it as well, covering it while simultaneously intertwining our fingers. She seemed confused, and I couldn't really blame her. I was treating her hand as if it was made of gold and diamonds. 
"Huh? What is it?" 
The simple fact that it was Christmas had given me the push I'd needed. 
I moved my fingers around, almost as if performing palm reading on her. She said something about it tickling, and I quickly apologized. 
"I... I..." 
I love you, Shimamura. 
I love you. 
I love you... My throat squeezed tight, and the words refused to come out. I felt myself suffocating as my lips quivered. 
"I... want to become friends with you." 
I was forced to compromise. Yes, this was as far as the courage I'd saved up would get me. 
"I was under the assumption that we were already friends?" Shimamura said, laughing nervously. I thought so as well. However... 
"No, not that level of friends. I want to..." 
What did I mean by that? I didn't even know myself. I could feel my eyes wavering. Was that the wrong way to measure friendship? Probably. Even so, there was no backing out now. Frantically, I searched for words to continue my sentence. 
What was it that I wanted? If "that level of friends" wasn't good enough, then... 
Like the boomerang, I needed to aim higher. 
"I want to become your number one friend", I stated while drawing even closer to her. 
"...'Number one'?" 
Shimamura raised her eyebrows. Did she understand what I was saying? I felt myself growing weaker by the second as she stared at me, and so, I quickly opened my mouth to get everything out before time ran out. 
"No, it's not 'I want to'. I will become your number one friend. I'll continue working hard till I get there." 
"I... I see", Shimamura muttered, leaving her true thoughts ambiguous. A very serious expression then appeared on her face, and her body shook in the cold wind. 
She lifted up her jacket's hood to cover her ears, a sight that I found myself captivated by. She looked really cute. 
"I'm not sure if I get it, but I do also think it's good to have ambitions." 
"Right..." 
It seemed that I'd been correct: In the end, she didn't understand what I meant. Even so, seeing that my head was down still enough to let her know that something was up, and she quickly moved to pat it. Instinctively, I bent my knees, leaning forward in a slightly bold manner, so much so that the tip of my head almost came into contact with her jaw. Without saying a word, Shimamura allowed me to rest my head against her shoulder. 
I squeezed tight on the elbow of her coat, not wanting to be separated from either her shoulder or her hand. 
There, yielding myself to Shimamura, I slowly closed my eyes. 
Gripping the boomerang, I could feel its wings carrying me beyond the darkness. 
The image of the blue object melting into the sky had been burned into my eyes. 
"..." 
There we stood, in the park, shivering slightly in the cold wind. She was patting my head, and I was having my head patted by her. 
It truly was a moment of supreme bliss. For me, if nothing else. 
Christmas was no excuse for dramatic events to occur. 
At the same time, doing something like this with Shimamura on Christmas, that was the kind of special relationship I had wanted. 
It was for this reason that I'd been so happy when our meeting had become reality. 
The start truly had been the highest point of the day. Everything after that, the air hockey, the coffee, the presents, they only existed to bring me down safely while enjoying the scenery I could see from up there. Sure, the boomerang had taken us into a slightly strange direction, but as far as I was concerned, things really couldn't have gone any better. 
There was still a little bit more to go, but I could already tell. Today had been a huge success. 
Shimamura's fingers combed through my hair. 
...The events of today would certainly not end up turning into a pleasant memory. 
Why? Because my mind had blanked out and I barely remember a thing. 
It was similar to the way snow hid the landscape. 
Only one thing had been etched into my mind. That was, the existence of the White Album.