Adachi to Shimamura - Volume 3 - Chapter 2.1

Today's Adachi 

"Ada—chii." 
I imagined Shimamura and the way she often emphasized the "chi" sound in my name. For some reason, the thought of her doing that made me feel all fuzzy inside. 
...Why was I thinking about this in the middle of class? 

Chapter 2 Radiance That Reaches For the Sun: Heliotrope

I'd rolled straight into bed and slammed my head against the pillow after coming home and returning to my room. 
I could remember giving Shimamura a ride back to her house, but after that? Nothing. It was all just a fuzzy mess, as if my memory had been fried by the evening sun. I'd been lucky to have made it back home without getting into an accident. 
My head felt warm, so warm that I found myself doubting whether it really was winter. Likewise, my ears were itchy. Particles of dust floated around the pillow upon which my head rested, and as I watched them dance in the orange light coming through the window, I noticed that the sun was just about to disappear behind the horizon. 
The sky was painted red by its glow, though if I had to guess, I'd wager that my skin was even redder than it was at the moment. 
Each time I thought back to it, I grew embarrassed over a different thing I had done. I once again slammed my head against the pillow and kicked the bed with my feet. 
I figured that I should be ready to get up by now, but that turned out not to be the case; while I was able to lift my head, my back remained limp and without strength. 
Five more minutes, I thought to myself as I collapsed back onto the mattress. As I did, a deep groan escaped my mouth. 
Though my parents were normally indifferent towards me, if they were to see me right now, no doubt even they would grow worried. 
"...I have to admit, it was pretty unnatural." 
Definitely. Still, all that embarrassment had been worth it, as in the end, I'd managed to move things in my desired direction. 
Last month, I'd thought that God didn't exist, but maybe he actually did? Then again, if he did, he was likely a malicious god who wanted to guide me towards a path that led into further anguish. It also raised another problem: Had everything in my life been decided beforehand? 
"Chocolate..." I muttered to myself while breathing in the smell of the comforter, mixed with that of fabric softener. 
It seemed likely that, for the next couple of days, chocolate would be the source of many of my headaches. 
It was my first time giving someone chocolate. As for receiving it... I probably hadn't experienced that either. Sure, my parents had gotten me some when I'd been little, but I didn't think that counted. Not that including them would make a difference. 
The fact remained that this was the first time that I'd wanted it. 
It was pretty ridiculous to be this stressed out over it considering that there was still over a week left. Actually, on second thought, that might not have been all that much time. I had a lot of preparing to do, after all. 
Like, if I wanted to make the chocolate by hand... Or would that be too difficult? Hmm... Yeah, it might be. Would someone like me, without any cooking experience whatsoever, really be able to make chocolate? I could always study. No, wait, that wasn't the right word. Practice? Yeah, practice. Still, maybe it was just too difficult after all. Buying something that matched Shimamura's tastes like I'd done on Christmas would be... better. Yeah, better. It would be. Still... 
This would be the first time, and possibly also the last. Thinking about it under that light, I found myself wanting to make sure that I didn't have any regrets. 
Then again, it wasn't like anyone knew a sure-fire way to avoid that—having regrets. 
My head quickly begun to hurt as I tried to find the right answer. Ten more days of this. Was I really going to be okay? 
I felt like if this kept going, these thoughts would have turned me hollow, like a wooden plank eaten by termites, by the time Valentine's Day rolled around. 
"Handmade chocolate... Handmade chocolate. I need to find out what Shimamura likes before that..." 
It didn't seem like the kind of thing anyone else would know, meaning that my only choice was to ask Shimamura herself. Of course, I'd need to be very careful not to overdo it; if I started grilling her on her chocolate tastes, she'd likely figure out just how fired up I was. Trying to find the right balance seemed like it was going to be difficult. Very difficult. As I thought about that, my mind wandered to the events of today and how awkwardly I had behaved, causing the surface of my nose to grow extremely warm. It's not that big of a deal, I recited in an attempt to calm myself down. 
We were just friends giving each other chocolate on Valentine's Day. Nothing weird about that. 
Again, there was only a single problem; with no cooking skills to speak of, making chocolate from scratch would be quite the challenge. 
Now, if Shimamura was going to make me chocolate by hand, that I would like very much. Extremely so. You could even say that I yearned for it. 
That was the sort of relationship I truly desired. 
One that wasn't special only for me, but for Shimamura as well. 
I wanted it to be unique. Something that was mine, and no one else's. 
And yet, I had no idea how I should go about making it that way. You couldn't simply walk into a store and ask for a serving of "specialness". For one thing, that would mean that it was no longer special. It was a prerequisite for these relationships that they came to be spontaneously. 
In that case, should I try guiding Shimamura into that direction through nonchalant conversations? No, I don't think that would work; if there was one thing I couldn't do, it was talk in a nonchalant fashion. You only needed to look at my shameful behaviour during all the previous times to see that. The whole point was to pretend like there was nothing special going on, and while I knew that, I simply wasn't good enough at acting to hide the fact that I was constantly thinking about it. I always ended up going all out, which then resulted into my body growing stiff and me messing up. 
I sure was uncool, wasn't I? I knew that it was late to be saying this, but I really, truly hated myself. 
I shook my head against the pillow, and as I stared at the particles of dust that rose into the air as a result, I felt myself decaying. 
What I was truly after wasn't chocolate. No, it was something far softer. 
So soft that you weren't able to grasp it. 
Valentine's, too, only existed to enable me to touch that something with timid hands. 
5th of February (Wednesday) 

I'd spent the entire lesson in a trance, daydreaming about Shimamura and chocolate. 
It was a bit risky, wasn't it? A bit? Yeah, a bit. Still, classes did get quite tedious at times, and since the new seating order meant that staring at Shimamura was no longer an option, the only method of killing time I was left with was letting my mind wander. Then again, I probably would've been thinking about those things even if I didn't have time to kill, but regardless. 
I momentarily returned to reality from my dream world, only to realise that school was already over for the day. It was like the time had just... disappeared. I found myself incredibly flustered; if this kept up, the next ten days would fly by me in the blink of an eye. That would've been a blessing back in the day when I'd been drowning in free time, but for the current me, not so much. I'd undertaken something great, and that something was now backing me into a corner. 
I glanced over my shoulder while tidying up the contents of my drawer, and saw Hino—fully tanned despite it being winter—and Nagafuji—kinda looking like she wanted to go to bed—swapping a few words with Shimamura before leaving the classroom. I wonder, were those two also going to be exchanging chocolates with her? Knowing Shimamura, while she might return the favour if someone were to give it to her, I really doubt she'd ever take the initiative. Even though I didn't know much about her, the space suit wearing girl also came to mind. I felt like I hadn't seen her around too much lately, but still, who was she? And more importantly, what was she? 
On top of all of this, there was also another possibility I needed to consider: Shimamura might have agreed to exchange chocolates with someone who I was unaware of. After all, what I knew was only a single side of her. And even that I didn't have a full grasp of. She was just that sort of a person, very difficult to grasp. She offered very little to hold onto, kinda like she was avoiding trouble at all cost but not quite. 
I'd try to remain by her side, only for her to slip past me. 
Personally, I didn't particularly mind Shimamura exchanging chocolates with some other girl. Wait, no. "I didn't mind"? Was that really something that I had the right to step in and give my opinion on? No, no it wasn't. At the same time, it seemed extremely unlikely that I would be able to remain calm if I were to witness something like that happening. 
I took a deep breath and waited a moment for my eyes to stop spinning. Why was I getting so wound up? 
If simply sitting in the classroom was enough to make me feel like I was going to choke, then perhaps my condition was more serious than I had thought. I found myself wondering, was this how people with progressive illnesses failed to notice them until it was already too late? 
Let's be real for a second: No matter how hard I tried to pretend otherwise, if I were to actually stumble upon Shimamura receiving chocolate from someone other than me, the sight would no doubt leave me horribly depressed. No, not just that; there was a good chance that I might actually start crying. In other words, if I was forced to give an opinion, then I'd have to say that I didn't want it to happen. 
...One after another, my dislikes were being dragged out and exposed. You needed to skim this scum as it rose to the surface, because if you didn't, it would develop into an unbearable taste that was sure to cause others to keep their distance from you. That was the way human relationships tended to work. 
Was I doing a good enough job keeping the scum from building up? I sure hoped so. It was something that I constantly had on my mind. 
In a similar fashion, I often found myself wanting to reach into Shimamura's pot and to scoop out her scum using my finger. 
With thoughts like those flying about in my mind, I once again glanced over my shoulder, only to find that aforementioned Shimamura was nowhere to be seen. It appeared that she had already left. I quickly shoved the remaining textbooks into my bag. Rarely did Shimamura walk over to my seat, and if I'm being honest, I found that a little annoying. 
Gripping my bag, I walked briskly to the hallway. She wasn't there either. I broke into a slight run, and as I made my way forward, a late revelation hit me: The air was much colder than it had been in the classroom. The order of my thoughts had flipped into a configuration where it was first Shimamura, then the time of year. 
Speaking of Shimamura, I spotted her as I walked down the stairs. Her back was slightly bent, possibly due to the cold. Likewise, she had pulled her sleeves way down, to the point that the only visible parts of her hands were the fingertips that held her bag. The rest were hiding inside, which, in turn, made her shoulders seem like they were sticking out. 
As I drew closer to her, Shimamura suddenly looked over her shoulder. Had she heard my footsteps, or perhaps sensed my presence? 
"Oh, Adachi." 
What is it? she inquired with her eyes. Repeating to myself to remain calm, I slowly opened my mouth. 
Come to think of it, had I said a single word for the entire day that I'd spent in school? If I had, I couldn't remember. 
"I was just wondering, Shimamura, what sort of chocolate do you like?" I managed to ask her in a relatively natural fashion. At least, I thought it sounded natural. Did it? Probably. It had become a habit for me to question myself in this manner, which likely indicated that I held doubts towards my own behaviour. Anyway, speaking of things that weren't natural, I could feel the corners of my mouth growing slightly stiff. 
"Chocolate, huh? Let me think for a second. I don't eat it all that often, so..." 
Turning her eyes towards the end of the hallway, Shimamura began to ponder. I sighed in relief: It seemed that she'd chosen to interpret it simply as an innocent question. As I waited for her reply, I could hear her mumbling to herself. Something about there "not being many". I wonder, what was she saying? 
"Well, generally, I guess I like the sweet stuff." 
"Okay." 
I was under the impression that most chocolate was made sweet. Now, was I supposed to take this as the bar being low, or as it being incredibly difficult for me to choose something that fit her tastes more specifically? 
"The ones with milk, I think I might like those. Yeah, they're very easy to eat", Shimamura added. You could tell by her voice that she wasn't very committed to her answer. 
"I see." 
An image of milk chocolate immediately came to my mind. Its colour kinda matched that of Shimamura's soft, brown hair. Also, I felt like this was the first time ever that I'd heard her tell me about her likes. 
For some reason, I found myself slightly moved by this fact. 
After the short pause in conversation, Shimamura glanced at me. 
"Was that all?" she asked. 
"...Yeah, that was all." 
After that, we once again fell silent. A group of students who were leaving school walked past us. 
"I see." 
"Yep." 
"Alright. Let's get going then", Shimamura stated, as if feeling like she had to do something. She then began walking. 
She most likely wanted to get home quickly due to how cold it was. That was the conclusion I came to. 
I walked with her up to the school gate, after which we went our separate ways. 
The keyword there being "walked"; it took me until the nearby street corner to realize that I was, in fact, walking. I quickly turned around and went back to get my bike. 

There was a certain matter that, while it stood out like a sore thumb, I simply couldn't resolve. 
I was talking about the boomerang. It was late at night when I found myself grabbing it off the shelf I had placed it on. I obviously didn't want to ignore a present that I'd received from Shimamura, but at the same time, it was quite difficult for me to put it into use. 
Had Shimamura genuinely been expecting me to go play outside with this in hand? There was no way that she had that little of a grasp of my personality, right? No, I was certain that she knew me better than that. Or rather, I wanted to believe that she did. My mind rapidly filling with worries, I went ahead and tried tossing the boomerang forward. It flew across my room before hitting the closet and thudding against the floor. Hmm... 
I went to pick it up, but just as I crouched down, my eyes came across the TV that I had left on. I glanced at it, and was immediately astonished by what I saw on the screen: There was a woman with heavy makeup who went by the name "Shaman Taoka" dancing to music. Well, I say "dancing", but it was more like she was simply waving her long hair around. It kinda reminded me of Kabuki. 
The woman was really going wild. It was to the point that it felt like the tips of her hair were going to fly outside of the tiny TV. There were some other performers standing beside her, and though they all appeared to be waiting for their chance to get on the stage, none of them did. 
I couldn't help but admire her. What a strong presence. 
Admittedly, seeing her gasp for air after her dance was over did diminish those feelings. Yeah, they probably shouldn't have shown that on the broadcast. 
In the end, none of the other performers had joined Shaman Whatever. What sort of a program was this? Curious to find out, I squatted down in front of the TV and continued watching, and few moments later, got my answer: It appeared to be a fortune-telling show. One that specialised in matters of love at that. 
...Considering how it had started, I would've had to be insane to put any sort of trust into this program. At the same time, there was something about those words, "specialised in matters of love", that I couldn't help but grow curious about. Not that Shimamura and I were in love or anything. We weren't. 
We were not. And yet, I still wanted to see what this was about. 
Next, came the horoscopes. The person reading them specifically mentioned that these were "tomorrow's fortunes", indicating that this show was broadcast daily. First came Capricorn, then Aquarius, then Pisces. While I did wonder whether the contents of the fortunes were based on anything, or if she had just made them up, I still chose to wait till I'd heard mine. By the way, on a side note, the earlier performance had gotten the shaman quite sweaty, and her makeup was now coming off. It was the kind of face that made it clear that she was very devoted to her job. 
"Next, Libra. For you, I'm sensing disturbances in love! Do not forget to monitor your surroundings!" 
"...What?!" 
The fortune given to the viewers born under the sign of Libra—which included me—was hardly a pleasant one. Again, while the thing between us wasn't love—it wasn't—there was still something about the word "disturbances" that I couldn't help but grow anxious about. Which one of us would be affected, me or Shimamura? 
There was also the word "monitor". Despite how calmly it had been used, there was a certain undertone to it that made it seem like you were chasing someone, stalking them. I wasn't like that. Not in the slightest. Well, not that I needed to pay any attention to these fortunes in the first place, since there was no way that they were going to be accurate. 
"Special Valentine campaign! Collect the secret letters that are broadcast at the end of each episode while the campaign is active, and win wonderful prizes! Today's secret letter is... 'D'!" 
A promotion for the show started playing immediately after the horoscopes were read. Apparently, the letter "D" was somehow significant. Okay? 
It seemed a little strange to me that this was happening in the middle of the episode when they'd clearly said that the letters were broadcast at the end of each one, but then again, who cared? 
Next, a chart that showed the compatibilities of each star sign appeared on the screen. Who had compiled it? I had no idea. 
The signs that were marked as highly compatible with Libra were Gemini and Aquarius. The most compatible one, however, appeared to be Aries. 
(Keep in mind, that was only the case for people of the opposite gender. There was a note stating that it was the absolute worst when it came to dealing with those of the same gender as yourself.) 
With there not being any sources listed anywhere, I had no reason to trust the chart. I didn't. And yet... 
"..." 
When was Shimamura's birthday? Even though I'd never take such a silly program seriously, I still couldn't help but grow slightly concerned. Was she a Gemini, or perhaps an Aquarius? Gemini... or Aquarius... Anything but Aries, the absolute worst. Please. 
The results of the seating order change had shown that praying didn't work, yet here I was, doing it again. 
I was finally able to collect myself after the show ended. Embarrassed, I scratched my head, telling myself what an idiot I was. 
These things never come true, you fool. 

6th of February (Thursday) 

"..." 
"Umm, Adachi?" Shimamura asked while staring questioningly at me standing beside her. It seemed that this was about the furthest that I could go. 
"Nothing", I answered before returning to my seat. Just in time, because immediately after, the teacher walked in. 
"..." 
"Adachi?" 
As the lunch break came, I once again walked up to Shimamura. What did the sandwich I was eating taste like? I couldn't tell. I was far too busy staring at her to even begin thinking about that. 
No disturbances were currently taking place. Although, if I had to say, it seemed that Shimamura was slightly suspicious of my behaviour. 
"Do you want something? Tea, or maybe a sandwich?" she asked while picking up food items off the table and showing them to me. 
I noticed that there was a blue misanga bracelet around her wrist. It was quite a rare sight; Shimamura didn't usually wear any accessories. 
Anyway, back on topic. While it certainly hadn't been my intention to look like I wanted something, she appeared to have mistaken my expression and taken it that way. 
"Oh, thanks, but I'm fine", I stated back while showing her the sandwich I was already eating. Now then, I'd decided to ask her this during the lunch break, so I might as well give it a shot. 
Again, just to repeat, I didn't believe in horoscopes. I was just curious. 
"Shimamura, what's your zodiac sign?" 
It was only after those words had already left my mouth that I realised that it probably would have sounded way more natural to instead ask when her birthday was. 
What if she'd seen that program as well? Would she get the wrong idea? No, she wouldn't. Or would she? Hmm, hmm... Completely oblivious to the chaos raging inside my head, Shimamura tilted her head slightly and began pondering. 
"My zodiac sign, huh? I'm not sure what sign it puts me under, but I was born in April. On the tenth." 
I felt like my heart skipped a beat as those words—the tenth of April—entered my ears. 
Don't get me wrong, I was happy getting to know when she was born. Overjoyed. No, it was the date that was the problem. 
Being born on the tenth of April meant that she was an Aries. Aries, the sign which, according to the chart, was the least compatible with mine when dealing with those of your own gender. 
"..." 
"Adachi? Hey, can you hear me?" 
"Just so that you know, I'm an Aries", stated Hino, butting into our conversation. Shimamura, next to whom Hino's head had suddenly appeared, let out a small yelp. Behind Hino stood Nagafuji, swaying from side to side. 
The way she moved made it clear that she wanted someone to ask her what her zodiac was. 
Having calmed down, Shimamura took the hint and did just that. 
"What's your zodiac sign, Nagafuji?" 
"Can't you tell just by looking? Virgo, obviously." 
She sounded extremely proud as she said this. 
"Personally, I think that we should be the other way around, you and me", Hino stated before giving Nagafuji's chest a quick tap. It felt to me like she did that often. 
If I remembered correctly, Aries and Virgo were supposed to be highly compatible. ...Did that mean that those horoscopes were trustworthy? 
In that case, Shimamura and I were... No. No, no, no. No. 
"So, why did you want to know my zodiac sign? Is this like, some horoscope thing?" 
"Um... Well..." 
I had no idea how to answer her. My mind was blanking out. However, in the midst of my struggle, a helping hand was extended to me from where I had least expected it. 
"If you have good zodiac compatibility with someone, it increases the chances of support magic working." 
"The heck are you talking about?" 
The nonsense Nagafuji spurted out and Hino's subsequent reaction caught Shimamura's attention. She took her eyes off me, which allowed me to dodge the question. I'd ended up being saved by Nagafuji. While that likely hadn't been her intention, I still couldn't help but imagine a few words of thanks in my mind. 
For the rest of the day, I continued monitoring—err, paying attention to her. Nothing special ended up happening, however. It was just the regular me, and the regular her. No disturbances anywhere to be seen. 
Figures. In the end, horoscopes were just made-up crap. I had no idea who'd come up with the compatibility charts, meaning that there was no reason for me to believe in them. Oh, but don't get me wrong; it wasn't like I was completely denying there being any value to fortune-telling. No, I was of the opinion that, as long as you took them simply as fun little things you could believe in, they were just fine. 
Thinking about them that way made fortunes a positive, forward-facing form of "magic". 

I obviously couldn't pick a chocolate without knowing what sort of different types existed. To learn more about them, I'd decided to head to the nearby supermarket after returning home and changing clothes. As I stood there, in front of the entrance, a strange feeling hit me: For some reason, I felt slightly reluctant to walk in. Thinking about it, it seemed that the reason for this was likely the lack of opportunities in life I'd had to go to a supermarket. In a normal family, children were probably brought along by their mother to ogle at the candy aisle, but as for me, I had no such memories. It led me to wonder, what sort of snacks had I eaten as a child? I felt like I had mostly just drunk fresh, cold water. 
After checking my wallet to make sure that I had enough money with me, I began going through the various types of chocolates that were on offer. Thankfully, there was a special Valentine's section with a sign and everything, saving me the trouble of having to search the entire store for them. Sweetened rice cakes typically used as festival offerings were also being sold next to the shelf. They seemed pretty out of place, and I got the feeling that whoever had put them there was trying to piggyback off the chocolates' popularity. Anyway, I didn't think those would be too effective in my situation. 
I grabbed a packet of milk chocolate which Shimamura had said that she liked. What about white chocolate? That was kinda like milk chocolate, so did she like it as well? Or did she not? After thinking about it for a few moments, I decided to text her and make sure. 
I found myself quite anxious as I hit the send button: What would I do if she didn't message me back quickly? Thankfully, those fears turned out to be unfounded, as soon enough, my phone rang with a reply. It was like she had heard me. As for the message itself, it was quite simple, consisting only of "It tastes good". In other words, "I like it". 
"...I kinda get the feeling that Shimamura doesn't really enjoy using the word 'like'." 
It was almost as if she wanted to avoid letting other people know too much about herself. 
A desperate sigh escaped my mouth as I realised that I, too, was part of that group—the other people. 
Trying not to get too depressed, I grabbed a packet of white chocolate and added it to the already sizeable pile. While I certainly didn't mind buying all of these packages of chocolate, eating them, that was a whole other story. It felt like my blood would be as sweet as syrup after I was done with them all. 
I ultimately decided not to put any of the chocolates back. Carrying them with me, I walked up to the cash registers where I passed by a long-haired girl. Although she appeared to be from a different school, there was something about the way she was wearing her uniform in public, and more importantly, how she was grinning as if what other people thought didn't matter to her in the slightest, that made it hard for me not to follow her with my eyes. 
One person's fault is another's lesson, huh? Well, let's not get that dramatic, but still, that was probably what my face would look like too if I were to get careless. Especially during class. Would I really be able to stop that from happening? Yeah, I would. Or would I? Pondering about that while scratching my cheek, I found myself growing quite anxious. I felt for sure like I was the kind of person for whom randomly grinning in class all by themselves would be extremely troublesome. No, there was no "kind of person" about it; it was most certainly troublesome. Then again, personally, I'd love to see Shimamura do that, just suddenly start smiling. I felt like that could be really great. ...No, just ignore that. Anyway, yeah, I should be careful. 
I gave my cheek a quick smack before taking the packages to the cash register. I hadn't really thought about it while picking them off the shelf, but now that I stared at the towering pile of chocolate I'd bought, almost too tall to fit in the bag, I did find myself a bit astonished. 
Would I really be able to eat all this? 
 

Maybe I should just hand them to Shimamura like this, with the bag and all? No, no. 
The thought alone of Shimamura being someone who might prefer me doing that made me feel like I was about to get seriously depressed. 
I wanted her to be delighted. I wanted her to think of me as being special to her. 
My hopes and dreams reached as high as mountaintops. All I could see in front of me, however, were endless plains. 

I hadn't planned it that way or anything, but as I arrived at my room and checked the time, I noticed that the fortune-telling show from yesterday was just about to begin. I figured that, like the last time, they'd once again be giving out tomorrow's horoscopes. 
"..." 
I thought about raising on objection, but in the end, decided to just turn the TV on. The channel was already set on the correct one after yesterday's broadcast, and as the screen lit up, the very first thing that appeared on it was the same tornado of wild hair I'd seen back then. It seemed that the show would be starting with that again. 
"You really screwed up with your predictions yesterday", I complained to Shaman Whatever as she danced on the screen. Naturally, my complaints went without an answer. Come to think of it, the shaman hadn't spoken a single word during the broadcast. Was her role just to do the opening performance, and that was that? 
The woman's wild movements—reminding me of a dance you'd see at the Bon Festival—eventually came to an end, paving the way for us to at last move on to the show proper. 
Since I was already here, I figured that I might as well give it a watch. 
The fortune Shimamura's zodiac sign—i.e. Aries—received was "if there's something that you want, just reach for it", whereas Libra's was "try charming your special someone with a new hairstyle". For some reason, the font they'd chosen to use for the messages caused the letters to appear extremely round. 
"A new hairstyle? Like, what?" I asked out loud, holding up a strand of hair. Rarely did I do anything special with it. Most of the time, I just let it hang down. Still, if I were to try something new... would Shimamura notice? I certainly didn't believe in horoscopes, but at the same time... 
Today's secret letter was "A". Last time, it had been "D". I could definitely remember that much without having to write it down. What the special prize for collecting all of them was, that hadn't yet been revealed, though as they did straight up sell merchandise during breaks, it seemed logical to assume that they were probably just going to send you what was left over of those. Misanga bracelets, pendants, stuff like that. 
All sorts of things that (probably) gave you good fortune. I had to wonder, did people still buy those in this day and age? 
I obviously had my doubts, but if those items really did work, then I could certainly understand why someone would feel the desire to rely on them. In some ways, the feelings I held towards Shimamura seemed quite rash, like I hadn't thought through what they entailed. I grew more and more anxious each passing day, anxious that there were things in life that could never be changed through anything short of a divine intervention. 
...Was it people like me who fell for these things? 
I gave my cheeks two light smacks, telling myself to focus. 

7th of February (Friday) 

This was big enough of a change that even Shimamura should be able to notice it right away. 
After fiddling with my hair in front of the mirror for way longer than I cared to admit, it had finally started to resemble something that I could be satisfied with. I'd tested out all sorts of accessories, like hairpins and ribbons, but as those had either been too plain or too weird, what I had ended up settling with after a countless amount of splitting, curling, twisting, combing, and turning was a simple ponytail. All that I needed to do now was tie it up with a scrunchie that I honestly couldn't remember when I had bought, and I was done. Next, I took a good look at my work through the mirror. 
Of course, I would have been far more interested seeing what Shimamura looked like with a new hairstyle. 
Wait... What the hell kind of thought was that? My face was red with embarrassment, I rushed out of the bathroom and began making my way towards school. 
I really was going to be attending school like this, huh? I wasn't even there yet, and I already felt kinda embarrassed. Like, to me, there was something about suddenly changing your hairstyle that seemed like you were trying to show the people around you that you'd changed as a person. Or was that just me being way too self-conscious? Regardless, I should definitely take some time to prepare an appropriate reaction in case Shimamura were to ask me about it. I was painfully aware of how suspicious I'd been acting lately, and I didn't want it to happen again. 
The gears in my head turned as fast as the pedals of my bike as I tried my hardest to come up with a reason, an excuse for why I had decided to go with a new hairstyle. Should I say that I'd just felt like it? That might very well work with Shimamura; I had a feeling that she had decided to dye her hair for a similar reason. 
Of course, the real problem was whether or not I'd be able to say it in a way that sounded even remotely natural. 
After arriving to the classroom, I immediately sat down on my seat and propped my chin up with my arm. It was a pretty strange sensation, how my tied hair swayed with my head each time I shook it. 
Also, now that there was no longer any hair covering them, my ears had grown quite sensitive to the wind coming from outside. All in all, it was next to impossible for me to calm down. If it turned out that I'd gone through all this only to earn no comment whatsoever from Shimamura, that would be pretty miserable. 
I continued staring at the door, wondering if she was going to be walking in soon. 
When she finally did, class was just about to start, giving her no time to even as much as look my way before taking her seat. I obviously wasn't going to get up and go talk to her, even if that would've been a sure-fire way to make her notice my hair. No way. 
I decided to postpone getting her opinion till lunch break. I felt frustrated doing so, but at the same time, relieved. It was quite the contradiction, a contradiction which caused me a fair bit of mental agony. 

While I would normally have spent the time between classes simply sitting in my seat, today, I was looking up pictures of chocolate on my phone instead. It felt like my mind was rapidly being coloured brown; even my dreams last night had been chocolate themed. 
In order to get rid of all those boxes I had purchased at the supermarket yesterday, I'd decided that, starting from today, I'd be eating them in place of lunch. And no, I couldn't throw them into the trash or whatever. I'd bought them to see what they tasted like, which meant that I would need to eat them all by myself. Fortunately, as I was the kind of person who could easily eat the same stuff day in, day out, my diet growing slightly unbalanced posed me no problem whatsoever. 
I would try out every single type and then decide which one to give to Shimamura. Then again, the limiting factor there would probably be time, huh? I only had one measly week left. Yeah. At this point, I'd half given up on trying to impress her in any way; simply being able to bring her something seemed like the challenge now. Still, just that by itself might have been special in some way. No, it was special. I was sure of it. 
My desire to become special to her was completely earnest. However, as long as it remained that, a mere desire, then it was possible that she might one day give up on me. I was leaning to one side in order to balance us, which, looking at it, seemed like getting my priorities backwards. 
Those little things that allowed me to express myself ever so slightly, I needed to value them more. Then again, if it truly was my goal to express myself, there was only one logical path for me to take. That was, making the chocolate by hand. Humans really only had two options when it came to showing their feelings: You could either spend money, or spend effort. I'd been working part-time for a while now and hadn't touched any of my earnings, meaning that the former option was very much accessible to me. However, while I could purchase the highest-grade chocolate available and hand that to Shimamura, I had a feeling that it might end up having the exact opposite effect on her than what I'd hope. 
Repeating to myself that it was just for reference, I typed in "handmade chocolate" and hit the search button, only to be astounded by the sheer number of hits; the screen of my phone was practically overflowing with all sorts of recipe sites. I got the feeling that it was a particularly busy season for these sorts of things. Also, it went without saying, but most of the recipes didn't require the usage of a knife, allowing me to feel surprisingly confident in my ability to actually follow them; with a little practice, I should at least be able to get the looks right. The only problem left was, could I make them in a way that they didn't taste horrible? Knowing a little about Shimamura's personality, it felt to me that she'd enjoy store-bought chocolate that actually tasted like it was meant to, over handmade chocolate with a middling taste. That did seem like the normal approach, save for the occasion when you were dealing with someone greatly special to you. So, there really was no point to doing it? No point. No point... I felt like burying my head in my hands. 
"Your hair keeps wobbling, huh?" a voice suddenly asked next to my face, bringing me back to reality. Half of my butt slipped off the chair, and though it did place quite the burden on my hips, somehow, I was able to stop myself from falling over. The person—now peeking at my phone's screen—was... Nagafuji. She was standing extremely slouched forward, and her eyes had also grown quite narrow. It almost seemed like they were moving up and down, like waves. 
Nagafuji wore glasses during class, meaning that her vision likely wasn't perfect. I wonder, how did she feel about the pictures of chocolate I'd been staring at? Furthermore, why had she spoken to me in the first place? I simply didn't know. 
I really didn't see us as the kind of friends who could casually initiate a conversation with one another, but then again, that was just my opinion. 
Nagafuji pulled her head back, tilted it to the side, and then began pondering about something. Bewilderment quickly spread through my mind; what sort of business did she have with me? 
I waited for a while, and eventually, she opened her mouth. 
"'Wobbling' isn't really a word you use to describe hair, huh?" she asked me. Why? I had no idea. Regardless, I felt obligated to answer. 
"Not as far as I know." 
"Right. That makes sense." 
Nagafuji then hung her head. It almost seemed like she was feeling genuine regret over her choice of word. ...Sometimes, I simply didn't understand this classmate of mine. And by sometimes, I meant always. 
At this point, my only option was to have the other one take her off my hands. 
"Where's Hino?" 
"Sleeping." 
I glanced at the direction she was pointing towards, and what did I see but Hino, collapsed on her desk with her arms dangling beside her. The only part of her body that was actually touching the desk was her head, and as for the expression on her face, it was quite defenceless to say the least. This style of sleeping brought just a single word to mind: Freedom. 
Though the breaks were short, Hino appeared to be making the most of them. What about Shimamura? I gave her a quick look, and saw that, like me, she was also staring at her phone. I obviously wasn't expecting her to be looking up pictures of chocolate, but at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder, was she too thinking about Valentine's, even if just a little bit? 
Of course, knowing Shimamura, it was a real possibility that she'd simply buy something the same day, hand it over to me, and then be done with the whole thing. 
On one hand, I knew that I shouldn't be expecting it to be anything special, but on the other, I couldn't deny the fact that she had gone out of her way to pick out a Christmas present for me. My wishes had already come true once, and there was a part of me that wanted to see that happen again. It was quite the rare thing, Shimamura taking action for my sake. So rare that it might very well end up being limited to that single occurrence. 
The more time I spent facing her, the deeper my understanding of that event's specialness, its value, grew. 
Even so, there was still one thing that continued to puzzle me: Why on earth had she chosen to buy me a boomerang? 
"Good luck", Nagafuji stated as she tapped my shoulder after glancing at Shimamura. She then returned to her seat. For someone trying to offer her support, she sure sounded unenergetic. Then again, I didn't even know what it was that she was trying to support me with. Did Nagafuji perhaps know about our plans for Valentine's Day? I couldn't imagine that being that case. Still, whatever the reason, she was right; I was going to be needing luck for sure. Lots of it. The usually calm river of time had turned into a raging stream, and I got the feeling that letting my guard down for even a second would result in the water carrying me straight to Valentine's, skipping right past all the days in between. 
It hadn't taken all that long for "ten more days" to turn into "one more week". 
There was only a single explanation to this: Shimamura was stealing my time. 

I had long since returned home, yet I continued staring idly into space. A spontaneous smile appeared on my face as my mind travelled back to the events of the latter half of the school day. 
I sat there, covering my now-open mouth with my hand while my shoulders moved up and down. 
Light filled both my body and mind, almost as if opposing the darkness of the advancing night. 
It had been during the lunch break that I received the comment I'd been waiting for regarding my new hairstyle. Shimamura had said all sorts of things, shown all sorts of expressions. 
And yet, all I could really remember was her touching the tip of my ponytail while stating that she thought it looked cute. That, and how she'd added that she liked my regular hairstyle as well. Though this wasn't the first occurrence of her calling me cute, there was one big difference that separated it from the previous time it had happened: Whereas the China dress had been a mere piece of clothing, the hair was a part of me. She had praised me this time. Me. Not only that, she'd even gone out of her way to mention how highly she valued the regular me. All things considered, there was no way that I could have reacted to this with anything less than pure joy. 
The fortune-telling, it had actually been accurate, huh? I was forced to re-examine my opinion of Shaman Whatever. 
Of course, it did seem highly unlikely that she had actually done anything, but regardless. The next episode of the show was about to air. 
Tomorrow's horoscopes were as follows: For Aries, it was "You're going to be bossed around all day, so spin like a top!", and for Libra, "It's important to put in effort daily, even during the weekend". I'd been hoping for something a bit more romance-related, but then again, I suppose that not every single day could be packed with action. If anything, I probably would have found myself a bit suspicious had they said that the series of events was going to be continuing. 
As for the secret letter this time, it was "N". Having returned to the screen, the shaman shouted something, which then brought the show to an end. 
Was she perhaps growing stronger as a result of all the dancing? 

8th of February (Saturday) 

I spent most of my Saturday afternoons working at my part-time job, and this one was no exception. 
Although I didn't mind that, what I did mind was the fact that it was the middle of winter and I still had to wear the China dress with its stupid slit. Seriously, what was up with that? It made it seem like I was choosing to show off my legs of my own volition, as if I valued appearances more highly than dressing in accordance to the season. All I wanted to do was grab a needle, some yarn, and stitch the damned thing closed. Why did I even have to wear this dress in the first place? It wasn't like they paid me extra for it or anything. The only reason why I chose to keep working here was inertia, but as I carried yet another set of dirty plates to the kitchen, I seriously began questioning whether or not I should. The money was a reward, sure, but was it enough? 
I had saved up quite a bit, but on the flip side, I didn't have anything to spend it on. While that was certainly preferable to me being wasteful with it, I still couldn't help but feel that there was no point to having something that you weren't going to use. Then again, it hadn't really been about the money in the first place; my true motivation for getting a job had been to gain a meaningful outlet for my abundant free time. As long as that remained the case, I would have no reason to quit. 
In case you were curious, Shimamura's family had only ever showed up that one time, and never since. I felt relieved, but simultaneously, unsatisfied. 
Though it was true that I wanted to steer as far away as possible from thoughts of embarrassment, I would also have liked to share a secret of sorts with her. I found myself tugging the hem of my dress as these greedy sentiments fought against one another in my head. 
It was only lunch time, yet for some reason, the place was absolutely full. This dress probably helped to attract customers, huh? I made a conscious effort not to think too much about those sorts of things as I ran around the restaurant taking orders and cleaning tables. If the dress really did have a noticeable effect, then that would likely be enough of a reason for the manager to never let me wear anything else. 
A break came next, and I spent it sitting idly at one of the close-by tables. Afterwards, it was only a matter of quickly cleaning up and changing my clothes before I got to leave. I felt relieved, of course, but as I thought about the house I'd be returning to, about my family, those feelings turned into something slightly less relaxing. Simply put, I didn't really like my family. 
"..." 
I wonder, what did Shimamura do on her days off? I had tried asking her that before, but she'd been quite vague with her answer, simply stating that she spent a lot of time sleeping, and a little less playing with her sister. This led me to believe that she likely wasn't doing anything special today either. In that case, maybe I should go pay her a visit? 
Sitting between her legs like the last time, watching TV... 
Thinking about it now, I was shocked to remember just how close to each other we had been back then. It didn't seem like something that I would be able to do again, not in my current condition. I'd either fall into a state of complete panic beforehand, or simply run away. The only recent occurrence of closeness between us had been that one time when I'd come close to falling over and Shimamura had caught me. 
Truly, what a waste that had been. 
Even now, I still found myself regretting the fact that I had panicked and pulled myself away from her. Don't get me wrong, I had certainly regretted it in the moment as well. It was just, with time, my mistakes grew increasingly more pronounced. My nose had been practically buried in her chest, and yet, I'd completely blown my chance. 
My nose... Against her chest... No, not just my nose. My eyes too. And my forehead. Pretty much the entirety of my face. 
The more I thought back to that time, the warmer my head grew. I could feel it swelling, like a balloon. 
I flailed my feet around. 
I flailed them. 

9th of February (Sunday) 

You'll never know unless you try. That was what I told myself as I walked into the kitchen. My parents weren't home despite it being Sunday, which thankfully meant that I wouldn't need to worry about their stares. Even if they didn't say anything, I knew that they'd still be silently judging me in their minds, and I really didn't want to suffer through that. 
It was my first time ever using the kitchen. Well, other than getting water, I suppose. 
I'd decided to make chocolate just to try it out. As far as ways to spend my days off went, it didn't seem half-bad. 
"Libra. You should hurry up, make handmade chocolate, and give it to someone! Do it!" 
The fortune actually played a really minor part in influencing my decision, believe it or not. Also, the secret letter had been "C". 
Now that I thought about it, did that thing even fit the definition of a fortune? 
...I hadn't done anything beyond walking into the kitchen, yet I was already being filled with anxiety. Was I really up to the task? 
According to the instructions I'd found online, it appeared to be a simple matter of crushing, melting, and then solidifying the chocolate. All in all, even I should be able to handle it. However, this was only the foundation, and the steps that came later were crucial for the recipe to work. Although I could likely handle the first section, I had no confidence to speak of that the same would be the case with the latter ones. I silently cursed the old me for choosing to not eat anything when dinner wasn't ready instead of making something herself. I'd also done practically nothing during any of the cooking classes in school, which all summed up to me having no experience whatsoever. Even so, I still wanted to try it out. All the more when I considered that this might never happen again. 
With my phone in hand, I began working. Crush the chocolate into pieces on top of a cutting board, place the chunks into a pot, then warm it... I'd definitely read a couple of mangas portraying this exact process. It was usually inexperienced girls in love doing it, and more often than not, they ended up... failing completely, now that I thought about it. As for me... No, I was different. I didn't particularly, love, Shimamura... Or did I? No, no. No way. Anyway, as such... umm... What I meant to say was, this was chocolate. Chocolate. The process hardly mattered. 
Although my lack of skill was undeniable, there was also nothing I could do about it. Focus, however, that was workable. Fail on terms of both, and the result would be guaranteed to be something awful. 
I cast all idle thoughts aside and began moving my hands because they most certainly weren't going to move themselves. 
"..." 
I knew based on my lack of experience that it could never happen in reality, but let's pretend for a second that I managed to make expert-level chocolate sweets. Then, when I'd give them to Shimamura, she'd be super impressed, to the point that she'd say something like "Wow, Adachi. You're incredible!" and squeeze me and... No. There was no way that was going happen. I didn't even know how it possibly could; the Shimamura who would do something like that existed only within my head. And even that wasn't without its problems. For starters, it would only take me getting careless for that version of her to exit my mouth, which then had a chance of making me blurt out something thoughtless. That had been happening a lot lately. I was slacking far too much. 
"...I wonder, is it done yet?" I asked myself while mixing the molten chocolate with a rubber spatula. Its colour and smell certainly made it seem that way. A sense of accomplishment filled me as a I stared at the brown substance; it really felt like this was the first time in my life that I had managed to make something without completely messing it up (as far as appearances were concerned, at least). Next, I should... put it in the refrigerator? I decided to check the instructions just in case. ...Apparently, I should "temper" it, whatever that meant. Oh, right. I hadn't been sure what it was for back then, but I did remember buying some sort of a tempering powder. I poured it into the pot along with the rest of the chocolate, waited a bit for it to cool down, and then mixed everything together. That should do it. Hm? "Use a thermometer to carefully measure the temperature"? Where was I going to get one of those? Then again, it didn't really matter for now. I was going to be eating these ones myself, so they didn't need to be perfect or anything. 
After mixing thoroughly, I poured the chocolate into moulds and snapped a quick picture with my phone before putting them into the fridge. It might not be some pinnacle of cooking, or even just great, but this was still the first piece of food I had ever made. One more picture. I checked the photos afterwards, and noticed that they were both taken from pretty much the same angle. My interest was starting to fade, cooling down faster than the chocolate. 
What I needed to make this interesting was... Shimamura. I decided to send the pictures to her. All of them. After they were done sending, I added "What do you think?". Then, trembling nervously, I proceeded to wait for a reply. 
Ten minutes passed. 
Ten more minutes while shaking on the chair. 
Another ten minutes with my head pressed against the table. 
No reply. ...I took a deep breath. Of course not. 
Even I wouldn't know what to do if someone were to send those sorts of photos to me. The chocolate wasn't the only thing that needed to be cooled down; my head did too. Reflecting on my actions, I hunched down into the corner of the kitchen. Not only was it winter, the sun also didn't shine there, meaning that the corner was meant to be freezing cold. And yet, thanks to my cheeks being as hot as they were, it didn't feel that way to me at all. 
Anyway, the chocolates had probably hardened by now. 
"This is it..." 
I'd really just melted it down and then turned it back into a solid, hadn't I? 
I glared at the object sitting on the plate as if I was having a staring contest with it. 
I wouldn't be putting on any frosting, or rather, couldn't, meaning that I'd need to be satisfied with this. Why no frosting? Simple; I hadn't prepared any other ingredients. I'd gotten stuck in the simplistic mindset that since I was making chocolate, chocolate was the only thing I needed, which, I supposed, went to show just how much of an amateur I was. I took a bite as a test, and yeah, it sure was chocolate. Nothing beyond that. If anything, it tasted slightly worse than the stuff you'd buy from the store. The way the pieces were shaped was nothing to write home about either. I'd never truly expected it to happen, and it seemed that, in the end, my feelings hadn't poured into the chocolate and reacted with it. 
There was a clear limit to what my heart was capable of. 
I had until the 14th, and I felt no confidence in my ability to get to the point where I'd be able to make something excellent before then, even if I were to start practising daily. Furthermore, I definitely didn't want my parents to see me practising. I would've been all for it if I lived alone, but unfortunately, that was not the case. 
In conclusion, I figured that I should buy her something after all. It might have been a bit dull, for sure, but when you wanted mochi, you went to the mochi store. Making sure that the receiver was happy was the number one thing when it came to giving gifts, and by that logic, it seemed important to prioritize the taste over expressing my feelings or whatever. Again, I knew that it was boring, but the taste was more important. ...I just wasn't good enough. 
What I needed to do now was look for a famous place with a good reputation. With only a few days remaining until the 14th, I wasn't sure if the packet would make it in time if I were to order something online, meaning that I'd likely be better off heading to Nagoya and looking for a shop around there. Would I take Shimamura with me? No. This seemed like something I should do by myself. 
I distinctively remembered her saying that she preferred receiving gifts without knowing what they were beforehand. 
"...Did I fail?" 
There wouldn't be any more days off before Valentine's Day. School was going to start tomorrow, and we'd already be way past it by the time the next weekend rolled around. I didn't need to change trains on my way to Nagoya, sure, but even so, the round trip still took a considerable amount of time. Plus, I'd also need to reserve time for picking the right chocolate. ...Thinking about it that way, I really should have gone today, huh? Yeah. I couldn't afford to waste my days off in this fashion. 
What was I going to do? I began to consider taking a day off from school and using that time to go buy it, which, honestly, didn't seem like a bad idea. 
But, wait. Wasn't chocolate something that you were meant to give out the same day you bought it? Was it? 
Various thoughts rushed through my head. Not that I was complaining; it was definitely better than having no thoughts at all. 
Still, there was one thing that stood firmly against my conclusion, and that was the pile of leftover chocolate. 
"..." 
It seemed that chocolate was going to be making up a large part of my diet for the foreseeable future. 

If the fortunes were one hundred percent accurate, that would make them more like prophecies, and I really wasn't expecting that much from them. Still, even if they weren't literal facts that told you exactly what to pay attention to next, were they still at least somewhat reliable, and if so, how much? That was the question. 
At this point, this fortune telling show was around fifty-fifty in terms of correct predictions. Although that was an incredible success rate for fortunes, you had to keep in mind that the sample size was far too small to draw a statistically sound conclusion. That was the reason why I once again found myself sitting in front of the TV. 
Unlike yesterday and all of the days before that, Shaman Whatever was nowhere to be seen this time. Perhaps she wasn't a regular part of the show after all? Some other person showed up for the first three-or-so minutes to fill her role, although I had to say, their performance was nowhere near as interesting. It was just talking for the most part. Wait a minute... Was this show broadcast live? 
Either way, the part that I'd been waiting for was now here. "You'll cross paths with someone who you weren't expecting to meet?" was what Aries got, and as for me: "If there's something you want to say, then say it clearly! You never know when you might die?". 
After the fortunes were done, the person who had been reading them faded out, as if being sucked into the centre of the screen. Putting that aside, "something you want to say", huh? ...Simply thinking about what that something might be caused me to feel exhilarated. It was like a group of red flowers had suddenly opened into a bloom near my face. I went a step further and imagined Shimamura's reply as well, and at that point, my head was practically boiling. 
I scratched my knees through my pyjamas. Some part of my body itched, but I was unable to identify which one it was. 
I could almost feel a calm version of myself staring at me from some corner of the room, shaking her head at how ridiculous I was acting. That was probably the old me, the one who'd spent a long time living in this room. 
We were practically different people, she and I. ...No, that probably wasn't true. In terms of my relationships with other people, with my family, I was the same bland me who I'd always been. 
It was only when dealing with Shimamura that another version of me surfaced. 
A version who was prone to failing, had a hard time calming down, and often acted so awkwardly that it was painful to look at. 
And yet, she was so pitiable that I couldn't find it in me to hate her. 
Going back to the fortune telling program, today's secret letter was "O". I scrolled back in my memory and tried combining it with the letters from the previous times, but I couldn't for the life of me find a connection between the word that formed and Valentine's Day. If I had to guess, it was probably just some nonsense. 
The reward you won from this competition didn't seem like it'd be anything that great to begin with, and so I decided to just forget about the whole thing. 
Instead, I climbed into bed and turned my attention into worrying about the "thing that I wanted to say". 
I certainly had those. A whole lot of them. 
However, there were a lot of walls in this world, thick walls, impassable. 
It would require something more than simple bravery to be able to deliver those words to Shimamura. 

10th of February (Monday) 

Encountering Shimamura had guided me towards a better direction. 
I truly believed that to be the case. Ever so slightly, I'd begun facing forward. No, not "slightly"; it was to the point that I felt like I was constantly on the verge of falling flat on my face. Regardless, the truth remained that my life was growing brighter by the day. 
She was my sun. ...Okay, I admit, that sounded pretty embarrassing. 
Still, as far as the ways a human being could live went, I felt that having hope, something for you to face towards, was pretty high up there. Personally, it brought me just a bit of happiness, and yesterday, I'd once again found myself staying up late into the night, wondering if there was anything more in life for me to obtain. 
The closer you got to the sun, the more radiant it grew, the more it burnt you, and no matter how hard you tried, you could never reach it. 
And yet, the creatures above ground just kept reaching for the light anyway. 
I'd found mine, and for that, I was truly grateful. 
I decided that I'd finally thank her for it, truly thank her. That was the thing that I wanted to tell her. 
Don't get me wrong, this wasn't me compromising. Neither was I trying to dodge the issue. I really wasn't. 
Extremely sleep-deprived, I stood by the classroom's entrance, waiting for Shimamura. It seemed that it was only at times like these that she was late. Actually, now that I think about it, she was late pretty often. Some of my classmates walked past me, and though they did look at me suspiciously at first, their eyes turned away quite quickly as I returned their glances. Being seen as a delinquent did have its benefits sometimes. However, there were two who didn't feel threatened, and instead, greeted me. They were Hino and Nagafuji. 
"What are you up to, Adacchi?" 
"What are you trying to do, Chi Chi?" 
I could've asked Nagafuji the same; I honestly had no idea what she was trying to say. These impromptu nicknames were barely based on my name at this point, and I was left to hang my head and mutter something random in response. However, my attempt to trick them didn't end up working. 
"Oh, are you waiting for Shimamura?" 
"Right, right." 
It'd only taken them (or realistically, "her"; Nagafuji likely hadn't figured it out on her own) an instant to see right through me. I could feel my cheeks growing hot. Was I really that easy to read? Easy to read... Hmm... I looked back to how I had acted recently, and as I did, a deep sense of regret filled my mind. Meanwhile, Hino and Nagafuji headed towards their seats. 
It was pretty incredible of Shimamura to still stick with me despite how obviously suspicious I was behaving. She really was something else as a person. 
At the same time, I knew that there was a good chance that she had no interest in me. I felt so lonely thinking about that possibility. 
As I continued waiting, Shimamura eventually arrived. Barely in time, and I mean it. 
She noticed me standing next to the door, stopped, and tilted her head questioningly. 
"Adachi, is something wrong?" 
This was where she usually would've let out a yawn, but she didn't. Her eyes weren't moist either, but instead, visibly dry. 
Much in the same way, my throat was also in desperate need of hydration. I couldn't let that get in my way, though. No, I needed to greet her. 
"G-Good morning." 
My attempt to sound as cheerful as possible backfired, and in the end, all it led to was my voice cracking. Cold sweat began creeping up my back. 
I could feel my cheekbones rubbing against my skin in a way that I really didn't enjoy. 
"Morning. Did you want to tell me something, or?" 
"Well, it's just... The sun, and..." 
"Huh?" 
Shimamura knitted her eyebrows. There was a clear look of confusion on her face, and I didn't blame her. This was really dumb of me. 
If I continued to talk like this, the only possible end result I could see was my own embarrassment. Likewise, it was almost guaranteed that Shimamura would feel the same way as the listener. I decided that it would be for the best to cut all the poetic parts and simply express my gratitude in a way that a regular person could understand. 
Gratitude. Umm... How did you do that again? Oh, right. 
"Thank you." 
I could feel myself sweating, both physically and mentally. 
I'd skipped past all the fluff, and in the end, the only things that had ended up coming out of my mouth were those simple words of thanks. 
"No, I don't think that I've really... Wait, huh?" 
Though she'd gone along for the first half, that didn't last as Shimamura soon realised what it was that I was saying. In mere moments, a clear look of bewilderment appeared on her face. 
As for me, it felt like letting my focus down for a second was all it would take for foam to start coming out of my mouth. 
"So, anyway", I stated awkwardly before turning my back to her and running off. What did I mean by that? I wasn't sure. It was just an excuse for me to get away. The corners of my eyes felt hot, as if someone had poured boiling water into them. Likewise, strange noises—best described as a weird way of panting—poured out from my stiffened mouth. 
I could hear Shimamura muttering words of confusion behind me, and as they reached my ears, my entire face grew warm. 
I wanted to turn around and explain things to her. I wanted to do it so badly. Yet, at the same time, I knew that would only make things worse. Telling myself that, I walked to my seat and propped up my chin using my arm. Or I tried, at least; no matter how deep into my cheek I dug my fingers, they just wouldn't stop shaking, which made it impossible to keep my head steady. I simply wasn't able to convince myself that I had managed to say what I wanted to. 
How to put it... 
My words wouldn't come out. I couldn't look at her face. I know that I'd said that my life was brighter now than it had been, but was that really the case? 
Sometimes, I felt that the biggest change was that I'd grown into a big idiot. Had I? 
I had a feeling that the answer to that question would be written all over Shimamura's face, which was why I purposefully chose to close my eyes without looking her way. 

The fortune wasn't responsible for my failure. It had specifically stated to "clearly say what you wanted to say", and as I had been unable to realise the "clearly" part, all of the blame lay with me. 
I once again found myself sitting in front of the TV, depressed, which was something that I'd been growing used to lately. 
It gave me quite a bit of trouble trying to decide what sort of an approach I should take with regard to Shimamura. If this program was going to act as my gauge in trying to figure that out, then I had to say, I was pretty glad that it existed. 
"Ah, she's here." 
Waving her hair everywhere, the shaman got on the stage. That only lasted for a moment, however, as she soon cut her dance short. 
"I caught a cold yesterday. It gave me a horrible headache, and I wasn't able to shake my head. That's why I wasn't here", she explained. Not that I particularly wanted to know that information or anything. After her explanation, the shaman once again began shaking her head. I wonder, was there a chance that it had been excessive movement, not a cold, that had triggered her headache? Her head moved wildly, as if making up for the lost day, and her hair sliced through the air. I found myself stomping the floor in frustration; couldn't they just get to the fortunes already? 
In conclusion, the fortune that Libra got was "Your heart will throb at the prospect of mutual touching with your fated prince!". 
Fated prince. No idea what that's supposed to mean, I barked while twisting my body. 
By the time today's secret letter—"U"—appeared on the screen, I was finally ready to confront reality. 
No, but, Shimamura was a girl. And so was I. ...A prince? 
I wonder, if one of us had to be a prince, which one would it be? 
Personality-wise, probably Shimamura, huh? I was more... womanly? Then again, it would've been pretty weird if that wasn't the case, considering that I literally was a woman. Of course, so was Shimamura. Her hair was fluffy, her skin fair... All things considered, it felt to me like she was way more of a princess than I was. 
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I particularly wanted those prince-like elements from her. Or rather, I didn't. I definitely didn't. 
There was full-on chaos raging inside my head. Likewise, my pulse kept growing faster by the second. 
My heart certainly was throbbing, that part of the fortune was accurate. The question was, would the second half be too? 
Would it? 

11th of February (Tuesday) 

"And that's what's happening. So, would you like to come too, Adachi?" 
"To Nagafuji's place?" 
"Yep." 
My first reaction had been, why was Shimamura inviting me over to Nagafuji's house? It took me a second to mentally resolve that mismatch. 
Also, Hino and Nagafuji were currently standing behind her with their arms folded. It made them appear just a bit self-important, the way they did it. Anyway, what was happening here was that Shimamura had asked me if I wanted to come with them to play video games after school. Although, realistically, it had probably been those two who had come up with the idea. 
"I don't really know anything about games, though." 
The reason for this was twofold: Firstly, we didn't have any gaming consoles at home, and secondly, going over to a friend's place wasn't something that I'd ever done. 
There was also something that bothered me on a more fundamental level: Were Nagafuji and I even friends? 
"If you don't wanna, then I'm not gonna force you to." 
Seeing how quick Shimamura was to give in, it was clear that she hadn't been expecting much when she'd asked me. Although I hadn't said no yet, if I'm being honest, there was a big part of me that wanted to. No, but wait... 
If I did that, that'd leave the three of them to have fun together. 
I went ahead and imagined Shimamura somewhere that my eyes couldn't reach, with a smile on her face that I couldn't see. In the next instant... 
"No, it's fine. I'll come." 
If it means that I get to be with you, then, I was about to add before realising what I was doing, and quickly swallowed my words. It had been extremely careless of me to almost blurt out something like that with Hino and Nagafuji standing right there behind us. 
"Alright. Four it is", the two stated in unison, sounding quite delighted by the fact that they'd managed to balance the numbers. Ignoring them, Shimamura turned my way and stared me in the eyes. She seemed to be genuinely worried about my feelings. 
Looking at her face, I couldn't help but feel that I was being watched over by an older sister. 
"Are you sure?" she asked before giving me another stare. It was almost as if she'd seen through my facade and into my true feelings. 
"Yep." 
I once again left out the prime motive—that was, being with her—and instead settled with silently mumbling it to myself. 
Skipping a bit into the future, school had just ended and I was now heading towards Nagafuji's place. I was giving Shimamura a ride on my bike and Hino was doing the same for Nagafuji, although looking at the composition of the latter pair—the bigger one clinging onto the shoulders of the smaller one—I couldn't help but feel that there was some horrible imbalance going on there. In that sense, me being taller than Shimamura made us feel more... natural. 
Though her hands felt large and warm when I held them, when they were placed on my shoulders, they instead appeared small and fragile. I wonder, was that because I was currently supporting her? Thinking about it that way caused me to feel slightly proud, and... No, no. Why was something this small making me feel that way? What was I, a child? Either way, it was quite embarrassing. 
Speaking of which, the fortune had mentioned "mutual touching" with a prince. Right now, my shoulders were... touching Shimamura's hands... 
"Whoa, whoa!" she exclaimed mere seconds later, panicking over the way I was operating the bike. 
Just like I'd heard before, Nagafuji's family owned a meat shop which they operated in the same building as their home. We walked in, and I saw that there was a man standing behind the counter. I assumed that was her father. He gave his daughter a quick look before stating: 
"Someone who's here all the time, a regular customer, and one who I haven't seen before. Welcome." 
If Hino was the first and I the third, then that'd make Shimamura the "regular customer", huh? I glanced her way, which prompted her to give me an evasive answer in the following manner: 
"It's just, my mom makes me come here and buy stuff when she doesn't feel like it. Or something." 
Shimamura and her mother got along pretty well, huh? It seemed that was also the case with her and her sister. 
I wonder, would there ever come a day when I'd be able to stand equal to them? 
There was a doorway at the back of the shop, and we passed through it to the living room. Once there, Hino immediately began setting up an old-looking game console. The way in which she moved almost made it seem like she was at her own house. Based on the fact that I couldn't see more than two controllers, I assumed that we were going to be playing by passing them back and forth. This turned out to be the case, and after a quick raffle, it was decided that I'd go first, alongside Hino. I definitely felt disappointed that I hadn't been paired with Shimamura, but at the same time, if luck was going to screw me over, this was probably the best time for it. 
Had this been the raffle that decided which classes we were going to be placed on for our second year, I likely couldn't have borne to look. 
The living room behind the store also came equipped with a kotatsu. I knew that Shimamura was sensitive to cold, and as I turned to check, yep, she'd already dove under it. Nagafuji joined her, whereas Hino grabbed what seemed like her private cushion and carried it with her to the TV. 
The game we were playing appeared to be a digital version of sugoroku, meaning that the goal was to toss dice and get to the end. Interestingly, you had to actually toss them. Anyway, you started with ten million yen, and... that was pretty much it. I wonder, who had been the person who handed you ten million yen and told you to get going? That went beyond generosity. Busy trying to calculate how long I'd have to work for on my current salary to save up that much, I tossed the dice. The dice within the screen also rolled, landing with a six on top. 
"That's a pretty good start", Shimamura commented, her posture now resembling that of a folded cushion. Her face was pressed against the table, her cheek especially, which caused it to squish out. She seemed so... cute. 

Sitting across the kotatsu, Nagafuji lay collapsed in a similar manner to her. Her face was likewise squished against the table, which earned a comment from Hino: 
"You should squish your boobs instead." 
It was quite rare to see Nagafuji actually frown. Regardless, she quickly regained her previous posture, extended her hand, and began lazily searching for the controller. I glanced at Shimamura and saw that she was doing the same—moving only her arm. 
Her expression appeared juvenile in a way that wasn't exactly common for her. I had to say, I quite liked it. 
"Hmm..." 
As I moved towards the goal, the simple act of landing on a blue tile would earn me ten million yen, if not more. I found myself completely bewildered by the sums of money in question; it was like something straight from an article discussing the Zimbabwean dollar during its inflation. No one else seemed to be bothered by it, though, which led me to believe that this was somehow normal. If I kept playing this game for too long, no doubt it would completely numb my perception of what money was worth. 
The place that had been selected as the goal was Niigata, a city far from Tokyo. Three or so dice later, the station was already in sight. The way the game worked, passing by the goal didn't count, and instead, you needed to land exactly on the tile. In my case, that would require a four. Hoping for exactly that, I tossed the dice, looked at the screen, and... 
"Ah, I nailed it." 
"Ooh! You got there first, huh, Adacchi?" Hino said before giving me a small jab with her elbow. Right, I had been the first to reach the goal. Now, was there some benefit to that? I didn't need to think about that question for long, as I soon realised that I had just received an incredible amount of money. It seemed that collecting it was what you did in this game. I wonder, was there a certain amount you were trying to reach? 
"Adachi's now in the lead? Hoho!" Shimamura murmured, her cheek still squished against the table. ...So cute. 
Of course, for someone who still didn't have a full grasp of the rules, being told that they were in the lead didn't exactly mean much. 
I didn't know them, which meant that I didn't understand them. I found myself in a state of confusion, and before I knew it, winds of emotion blew past me. 
It wasn't enough. I needed more, more experience that would add dimensions to my form. 
I was well aware of just how few things I understood compared to other people. 
I sighed in relief as we finally dispersed. It was around six o'clock. 
It appeared that Hino intended to stay at Nagafuji's place for a bit longer, which left me alone with Shimamura as we exited. I wonder, was it only me who felt relieved that the other two were gone? Probably. I turned my eyes towards the dimly lit shopfront and noticed a post nearby, plastered with all sorts of advertisements. Voyages around the world, politicians, what have you. However, what really caught my attention was a poster of a movie that had premiered a while back hiding amongst them. It portrayed a prince-like man being pulled along by a princess, and as I stared at the picture, my brain naturally ended up replacing the heads of the two people with ours. 
Shimamura became the woman pulling my hand. It didn't even have to do with her gender; it was just the way I imagined her, as someone dragging me along. How nice would that be, if she were to take my hand and we'd run off together, never stopping... Was I really okay? 
It might have been a good thing that the cool air soon brought me back to reality. 
The warmth from earlier had now vanished, only to be replaced by piercing cold and soft, mist-like darkness, in the middle of which stood Shimamura's blurred silhouette. 
I need to say it to her now, or else, I told myself as I approached her with my bike. 
"I, umm... I'll give you a ride home." 
Really? That was as smooth as I was able to say it? The voice that left my mouth was completely flaccid, as if it had no energy to it whatsoever. 
"You don't mind having to make a detour?" 
I shook my head from side to side. It was the opposite of a detour if it led me closer to her. 
"Well, in that case, sure. Don't start complaining, though, because it was your idea", she stated before hopping onto the back of my bike, much in the same way as when we'd come here. Her hands pressed against my shoulders, and shortly after that, she leaned forward to get a look at my face. 
"Your personality sure has changed from how you were when we first met", Shimamura mumbled with her eyes wide. 
"...Don't say that." 
I didn't need her—the source of it all—to tell me that; I was already well aware. 

The shaman danced, after which began the reading of the horoscopes. That was all there was to this program. 
Was the dancing part really necessary? That I didn't know. Yet, there was something about the shaman and the concept of fortune that made it just feel right. For some reason. 
"If you wish to close the distance, then take the initiative! Acting passive: not allowed!" 
It seemed that tomorrow, those born under Libra would need to act to their own accord. It reminded me of some cliched proverb, and a pretty cheap-sounding one at that. By the way, in case you were curious, Shimamura's horoscope had been "Your ability to take care of people will swing you around". She definitely had the personality of a big sister who was always ready to look after others. Although, at the same time, this did feel like the kind of fortune that appeared in magazines all the time. 
I wonder, was there even a singular person out there whose job it was to come up with these horoscopes? 
I should mention, the secret letter this time had been "G". The final one would be given out tomorrow, apparently. Not that it really mattered to me; I could no longer remember what the first one had been. Moreover, there were matters of far greater importance for me to be thinking about at the moment. I sat there gripping my soles, tilting from side to side like a daruma doll. 
Take the initiative. I found myself wanting to yell out: If that was something I was capable of, I would've done it from the start! 
Plus, it wasn't like I wasn't already trying my hardest. Each day, I attempted desperately to overcome who I was. 
As such, the simple statement that I should do something wasn't what I was interested in hearing. 
No. I wanted someone to tell me in which way I was meant to act. 

12th of February (Wednesday) 

"...She didn't end up coming." 
I'd periodically taken looks over my shoulders from the early morning till the end of school, but at no point had there been anyone sitting in Shimamura's seat. Quite rarely did it happen that I came to school but she didn't. All of the other students got up to leave, and in the middle of that clatter, I decided to check my phone. 
"Taking the day off?" 
I'd sent her that during the lunch break, but as it turned out, she'd yet to reply. Had she perhaps suddenly fallen ill and decided to stay in bed? That seemed a little strange to me, considering how energetic she had appeared just yesterday. Perhaps I should go check up on her? I distinctly remembered Shimamura having done so that one time that I'd skipped school. 
I'd also been told to not act passively, so there was that. 
Still, with no reply to the message, I didn't have anything to show that she was actually home. As such, going there might prove to be nothing but a waste of time. Maybe even worse than that if I happened to run across her mother. Anxieties of all kinds filled my head, but choosing to ignore them, I made my decision and began moving. Tap, tap, tap. The sound of my footsteps was soft. 
The tire of my bike soon stopped in front of the Shimamura residence. I checked my phone one last time, and after making sure that she hadn't sent me a message, I pressed the doorbell. A couple of seconds later, I could hear someone galloping lightly down the hallway. Step, step, step. I could immediately tell that it wasn't her; the sound the steps made was far too energetic to be coming from her feet. No, wait, that sounded pretty rude. 
"Coming!" 
The door flew open, and a blue head popped out. 
The gust of wind that this created carried with it blue particles, like spores, which soon fell over my body. 
"Hmm?" 
The person tilted her head, still grinning with her hand raised. 
"Oh! You are Adachi, aren't you?" 
"Well... Yes, I am." 
I couldn't remember her name off the top of my head, but anyway, it was that girl who'd worn a space suit. What she had on today was a dress, although it was one that left her shoulders bare. I got the feeling that she didn't really have a sense for the seasons. 
Now, why was she here? I quickly glanced at the hallway behind her, but couldn't see anyone else there. 
"Where's Shimamura?" 
"She's taking a nap. So, shh, okay? Shhh!" the girl hushed me with her index finger pressed on her lips, urging me to be silent. Personally, I felt that I'd been the far quieter one of us two. 
Still, a nap, huh? It didn't seem like she had a cold or anything, so there was at least that to feel relieved about. Instead, I was left to assume that she was simply skipping school. I wonder, did this girl have something to do with why she'd chosen to do that? The answer to that question would have to remain a mystery, as the order of causes and effects unfortunately lay beyond my grasp. 
"Ah, that reminds me. You came at the perfect time", the girl said as she suddenly smacked my foot. "I need to go procure dinner soon, or else it's going to be too late." 
"Sigh..." 
"So then, I'll leave the task of watching over this place to you." 
Not wearing shoes or even socks, she hopped outside through the door and ran off. Dumbfounded, I stared at her back as it slowly grew distant. This most certainly counted as acting with too much liberty in my mind. Now, the girl had told me that she was "leaving the task of watching over this place" to me, but what exactly did that mean I was supposed to do? Should I go stare at Shimamura or something? 
If so, then that wouldn't be all that different from what I usually did. Thinking about it that way, I found myself wondering, was that enough to classify me as her stalker? 
"No, it isn't. It shouldn't be. I'm just... leaning a bit in that direction." 
"On a second thought, no, you can't go out..." 
Mumbling something to herself, Shimamura appeared from within the hallway. She rubbed her eyes before noticing me by the entrance, and mere moments later, her dispirited pupils lit up. Likewise, I stopped monologuing and straightened my back. 
"Oh, if it isn't Adachi." 
I was quite surprised to see Shimamura in such a state; she had obviously just woken up. I cast my eyes slightly downwards, which prompted her to do the same. She then began stretching her clothes—consisting of her school uniform minus the coat—in an attempt to remove the creases that had formed in them, likely as a result of her wearing them while sleeping. Though the way she conducted herself suggested that she was bothered by it to at least some extent, she eventually stated something to the effect of "whatever", and walked over to me. I wonder, would it make things better or worse if I pointed out how messy her hair was? 
"Where's Yashiro?" 
"She said she was going out to 'procure dinner' and left." 
"Figures. She's the kind of person who does what she wants. So, anyway. What about you, Adachi?" 
Do you have business here? was what her eyes seemed to be asking. 
"You didn't come to school, so I thought you might have caught a cold or something. I texted you too, but you didn't reply..." 
There was a faint tinge of peevishness mixed into my voice during the last part. This went unnoticed by Shimamura, who looked over her shoulder towards her room before apologizing: 
"Oh, sorry. I left my phone in my bag, so I didn't see it." 
Despite the apology, my lips remained ever so slightly pouted. 
A thought had crossed my mind: Perhaps the reason why she'd decided not to come to school had been so that she'd have time to play with that girl from earlier. 
"So, anyway, that's why I thought I'd come check up on you. Although, I guess all I ended up doing was wake you up..." 
"Really? That's super nice of you, Adachi", she teased me with a wide grin on her face. She then reached for my head with her hand. 
The soles of my feet rising slightly off the ground, I allowed the tiny shadow to land on me. 
First came her fingers as their tips touched my hair. Next, her warm palm covered my forehead. 
It was at times like these that I couldn't help but feel that her hands were massive. 
Her fingers moved through my hair, as if combing it, and that sensation alone was enough to cause both my heart and gums to start screaming. 
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to." 
Shimamura quickly moved to pull back her hand. I could sense this, and—with the words of the horoscope clear in my memory—pushed my head forward accordingly. The movements cancelled each other out, and in the end, her hand remained exactly where it had been relative to my head. I wasn't able to check Shimamura's reaction due to my eyes being pointed at the floor, although that wasn't really necessary as the fact that she wasn't saying anything told me all I needed to know. Likewise, I was left biting my lip, unable to get any words out of my mouth. We stood there for a while, silent, until finally her hand stroked my hair one last time. 
In that moment, I truly felt like this was what I'd come here for. I took all the other thoughts, all the other reasoning I'd had and tossed them away, replacing them with this ex post facto interpretation. There was no need for motives to be sequential. Whether or not they had been there from the start, that didn't matter. You could simply bend the causal relationships that had led you where you were and make them apply. 
In the depths of my boiling mind, I confirmed the significance of me being here. 
Were someone else to pat my head, the only reaction I could see me having was getting annoyed at them messing up my hair. 
So then, I wonder, why was it that her touch alone caused me to grow hot, as if my body was covered in flames? 
Why did it cause words to lose their meaning? 
It seemed to me that the answer to that question was something that could be expressed in four simple letters. 

I'd stuck with the horoscopes for a surprisingly long time. How often they came true, that I hadn't really been paying attention to. Regardless, I knew for a fact that they'd had a definite impact on my daily life, even if faint. Perhaps the quality of fortunes was determined not by how accurate they were, but how they affected those who heard them? 
Then again, if I was forced to give my opinion on this show, I'd probably say that it was quite lacking. 
Every single horoscope tonight had been "Don't forget the chocolate!". Did that even count as a horoscope anymore? I wasn't sure, but at least it was to the point. So much so, in fact, that afterwards, they'd begun listing online stores where you could buy chocolate through the mail. 
The whole secret letter thing also came to an end tonight, with the final one being "A". Immediately after the letter was read, the shaman stated that she herself had chosen all of them. She kept talking and talking about their history and meaning without an end in sight, and eventually, a large number of staff members were forced to run up to the stage. They grabbed the shaman—now looking like she was about to start rampaging—and began carrying her off-screen, and though she did hurl all sorts of profanities both at the staff members and her fellow actors, those attempts of resistance were ultimately met with failure as she was forced to leave the stage. 
All that remained of her was a wig that had at some point fallen off and now rested on the floor. 
There was something surreal about the way one of the other actors silently ran up the stage, picked the wig up, and then carried it away with a broad grin on their face. 
I ended up turning the TV off before finding out what the prize for winning the competition was. They'd said this and that about what sort of a message you should send and where, but as I'd long since forgotten what the first secret letter had been, it wasn't like I could have taken part in the raffle anyway. 
Plus, I didn't exactly have time to be watching TV. 
To understand why, you only needed to see tonight's fortune. 

13th of February (Thursday) 

The 13th had sneaked up on me. 
I remembered making chocolate on Sunday, as well as Shimamura patting my head yesterday, but other than that, I basically couldn't recall a thing. I did feel like most of those had been things that I'd wanted to forget, although with no way to confirm whether or not there was any truth to those feelings, I was left to assume that it was simply a case of my imagination playing tricks on me. 
Tomorrow, it'd be Valentine's. That right there, that was what the phrase "time flies" truly meant. The hands of the clock that'd once been hopelessly slow now rotated with incredible speed. You could say that it was my problem these days that my eyes often ended up spinning themselves trying to follow those hands, which then resulted in me losing my composure. Now, enough of that. 
There was one more thing that I'd forgotten. 
I had work this evening. 
"..." 
With the China dress on, I stood by the entrance of the restaurant, trying my best to gather my thoughts. I had yet to purchase the chocolate. I'd planned to do so today, completely forgetting that I also needed to go to work. Whether it was a fortune or a disaster that I'd suddenly remembered it during class, that I wasn't sure of. What was I going to do? The anxiety I felt grew stronger by the second. There was no room left in my mind, not even to worry about the slit of the dress. 
Given how smoothly my eyes and biological clock seemed to rotate, would it really have been too much to ask for the gears inside my head to do the same? 
With this, my only option was to wait until tomorrow and see how things played out from there. I'd go somewhere, buy the chocolate, and then give it to Shimamura on the spot. That was what I'd have to do. Oh, and it meant that I'd get to go out with her, which was good. Definitely. 
I far preferred it to taking a box of chocolate to school, handing it over to her, and then being done with the whole thing. 
Of course, this approach wasn't without its fair share of problems. I was quite worried at the prospect of having to wait endlessly in line. That, or every single shop straight up being out of chocolate. 
If I wasn't able to buy it... then would some other type of sweets do? Perhaps there was no reason to fuss over chocolate after all. It was the act of presenting her with a gift on Valentine's Day and her accepting it that truly mattered, not so much the gift itself. Thinking about it that way allowed me to feel slightly less anxious. 
Yet, as soon as that matter was settled, another rose to take its place, like a bubble of air floating in a pool of liquid. 
Was Shimamura thinking about tomorrow at all? She hadn't forgotten, had she? Also, come to think of it, if it was my plan for us to go out the following day, then I'd need to let her know beforehand and arrange the whole thing. Though I obviously wasn't allowed to fiddle with my phone while on duty, as no customers had showed up yet, I decided to take this opportunity to sneak to the back of the store. 
The manager was nowhere to be seen in the employee's room, and it took only a quick glance through the kitchen's back door to find her. As it turned out, she too was talking on the phone. How lucky, I thought to myself as I pulled out my phone from my bag and quickly began typing out a message. 
"Are you free tomorrow? If so, what would you say about going somewhere together?" 
Being at work meant that I wouldn't be able to check my phone, which was why I ended up including the request alongside the question. Once the message was sent, I hurried back to the front of the restaurant. There still weren't any customers, although as I looked out from the window, I could see the red car of one of my co-workers roll into the parking space reserved for employees. 
I turned my head, only for the calendar on the wall by the entrance to catch my eyes. I immediately picked out the box representing the 14th. 
The words "Valentine's Day" were written inside it in red letters. 
It was tomorrow. 
Now that I'd grown conscious of the fact, it was completely impossible for me to calm down. I felt like I might soon find myself randomly breaking into a dance. 
Celebrating Valentine's together, that was most certainly special, and not just a little bit. I obviously didn't know how she was going to answer, but assuming she said yes, that would make this the next event following Christmas that I spent with her. I was excited. My heart was pounding. It was pounding so fast that it hurt. 
Needless to say, I wouldn't have felt the same way had it been with someone else. No, it was the fact that it was her, Shimamura, that made this meaningful. 
So then, why her? a part of me asked. 
Like, for example, if it had been not Shimamura but someone else who came to the second floor of the gym, would I have fallen in lo—accepted them into my life? The answer I came to as I thought about it was, "probably not". It was very easy for me to imagine myself quickly leaving the gym after there was nothing for us to talk about and finding some other place where I could sit all alone. That seemed like it would have been the likeliest outcome. 
So then, why was it that I'd had no trouble sitting next to Shimamura? 
Perhaps she was my de—destined soul mate. 
I almost bit my tongue, which was pretty weird considering that I wasn't even speaking out loud. Destined. Destined! 
"Oh! Blushing!" the old woman who I worked with teased me in broken Japanese, having now walked in. I guess that was one way of saying hello. 
Also, more importantly, was I actually blushing? I felt pathetic. 
"Well, umm, it's winter, so... the cold makes my skin crack, and..." 
"It's the damn heating. Too warm," she cursed at the indoor heating system while taking off her purple jacket. 
Oh? It was warm? Too warm? Alright then. 
My skin felt hot, so hot that I felt like I was soon going to suffer a burn, but that too was the indoor heating's fault, right? 

And thus, tomorrow arrived. 
Friday was going to be the day of a decisive battle.