Adachi to Shimamura - Volume 5 - Chapter 3.1

Chapter 3 – Are Souls Shared?

Everything I'd built up inside me had come out with force rivalling that of a landslide. 
Wait, no, that was wrong; rather than being a natural disaster, it was me who had crumbled, collapsed. Exploded. That last description was especially apt considering that the whole incident had gotten its start in a single instant's time, almost like a firework going off. I'd been in the wrong. I knew that. Of course I did. Likewise, I was also aware that it was me stepping over the line which had led to Shimamura pulling back and leaving me. And yet, I could only ask myself, what else was I supposed to do? 
After all, none of what I'd said was untrue. 
My cries, my actions, those were all things lurking in the depths of my being. 
I knew that applying force only lead to friction, things getting out of hand. And yet, I couldn't stop. 
In the end, this was how I was—a dirty firework. 

Pick up the broken seashell fragments scattered all around and then let out a sigh. That was a pretty good description of what my days were like. 
Once again I found myself sitting on my bed, my feet stretched out, sinking into the ocean of heavy breaths. I'd been doing that for three days in a row now. 
While it was true that I was slowly starting to recover from the earlier disappointment, the pain of regret filling my chest, my heart, that had yet to go anywhere. 
I'd not heard Shimamura's voice since then. We hadn't texted each other, either. I obviously didn't have it in me to contact her, and Shimamura, well, she hardly ever did it at the best of times. All I could do was lie there on my bed, my silent phone tightly in my grip. 
It didn't seem like there was going to be an end to this; with every moment that passed, I felt myself falling deeper into the pit of melancholy. 
Thinking about it, this was the very first time the two of us had fought. 
Wait, no. Had we actually fought? Was I absolutely sure Shimamura hadn't just abandoned me? 
That thought—the worst scenario I could ever imagine—had passed my mind multiple times, and yet, I still wasn't comfortable even entertaining the possibility. Quickly, I lifted my body off the bed. 
No. Anything but that. Please. 
Simply the thought of it caused my mind to scream out and filled me with such a level of rejection that I felt like I might soon throw up. 
Though the red line was being shredded, it still continued running from my head, as if being transmitted. 
I needed to fix this. I needed to make peace with her. I wanted to do it. I wanted to return to how we'd used to be. 
That meant that I had to call her. Or rather, text her. No, never mind; on a second thought, calling her was definitely the right choice after all. With every step forward I managed to take, I immediately took one backwards. I found myself in a stalemate. I was stuck, unable to proceed. 
And yet, I also knew that I couldn't keep on going like this. 
Clouds flowed outside my window. I could also hear cicadas singing—even though there were supposed to be fewer of them around this year. 
Time continued to flow even as I sat there, crouched down. While that was occasionally the right approach to take—to simply wait things out—I couldn't rely on it right now. You see, what time healed was sadness and pain. 
Not love. 
"Love..." 
That concept, having randomly popped into my mind, immediately caused my cheeks to grow red. Calling it love was bit of an exaggeration. Or was it? 
Valuing someone so highly that it hurt, yearning to know all there was to know about them. 
I suppose you could call that love in the broad sense. 
Well then, in that case, yes, I was in love with Shimamura. I loved her. No mistake about it. 
Pushing back the indescribable levels of embarrassment filling me, I forced myself to look straight ahead. My neck was already starting to cramp. 
It was this love (let's just call it that for now) which pushed me forward, telling me that I couldn't keep walking down this path, that I needed to do something. 
Nothing was going to happen unless I stepped forth and talked to her. The keyword being "talk"; in the end, it was going to have to be a call. 
My grip filled with determination, I began tapping the screen of my phone—slippery from the sweat which had dripped on it from my palms—pushing away all thoughts of hesitation as I navigated to the menu where her number was displayed. Already, I was being eaten up from inside by tiny worms of anxiety; what if she had blocked me? What was I going to do then? 
Would I be ready for the worst? Would I be able to give up if it came to it? 
My mind was busy at work setting up defensive barriers as if to keep the resulting wounds to a minimum. 
I swiftly tore them down, like brushing away spider webs. 
Leaving the seventy or so messages I'd written but not sent behind to rot, I did it. I pushed the button. 
I reached my hand out towards Shimamura. 
Were she to reject me, turn me down, I wouldn't be ready for that. I couldn't guarantee that things would work out. 
And yet, I had no choice but to go for it. There were many things in life like that, things you just had to be willing to do. 
As far as I was concerned, Shimamura's presence was something I absolutely required if I wished to keep on going with my life—or at least my second year in high school. 
Tortured by the beeping sound, I sat there, waiting for the call to connect. I waited, waited and waited, until at last. 
"Yes, hello?" 
"Oooh." 
Before I knew it, both my eyes and lips had begun to quiver, pushing forth a wave of emotion which I really should have kept hidden. 
My chest hurt. It felt like I was being crushed under an enormous weight, one which pushed me down against the surface of the bed. 
While it was hardly rare for Shimamura's voice to have such an effect on me, this time, the nuance behind it was slightly different. 
My anxiety had gotten the better of me. The full lengths of both of my middle fingers were now numb, almost as if affected by a poison of some kind. 
"Hello, Sakura. Are you there?" 
No malice could be heard in Shimamura's voice, no hostility. Taking not the slightest detour, she was speaking directly to me. 
A wave of relief passed through my body. Though faint, it gave me just the reassurance I needed to be able to respond to her. 
"H-Hello, umm, Shimamura. Yes, Shimamura." 
"Huh? What are you acting so stiff for?" 
It was almost like I'd turned into a child and was now nervously examining the facial expression of an adult while talking to them. 
Not exactly what was happening here, but also not far from the truth. 
"N-Nothing... Shimamura." 
"That's my name, yeah. So then, is something wrong?" 
Was something wrong? Yes, yes it was. And not just something, but a lot of things. I wouldn't have spent the last few days suffering otherwise. 
And yet, as far as Shimamura was concerned, that appeared to be just enough time for her to stop worrying about it. Feelings of loneliness filled me as I was first-hand made to experience the gap between our understanding of the situation. With it also came hope; perhaps I would be able to do this after all. 
I quickly readjusted the position in which I was sitting. The tightness I'd felt in my chest earlier was now starting to relax, leaving behind it the smallest cavity. 
There was just enough room for my voice, my intentions to bounce around. 
Act, I commanded myself. 
"Shimamura." 
"Yes?" 
If I'm being completely honest, I'd yet to stop thinking about the earlier events, the ones which had led us here in the first place. There were still so many things that I wanted to say to her. I was still brimming with anxiety. I still wanted her to explain it all to me. I knew acting like that was selfish, I knew that. And yet, there were times when I got angry. Times when I wanted to scream, cry, cling onto her, tell her to stop making me feel so scared. Times when allowing my mind to wander for even a second would cause my expression to crumble and tears to flow down my cheeks. I wanted to scold her, I wanted to learn to know her better, I wanted her to teach me about herself. In other words... 
"I was thinking, I'd like to go hang out somewhere." 
Despite the turmoil raging on in my head, what came out were those words. 
Why was that? I didn't know; having no experience in that regard, I was left guessing. 
Honestly, looking at the situation at hand, it really was like I was begging my mother to take me somewhere, wasn't it? I'd certainly begun to see it that way. 
Gripping the phone tight, I waited for her to reply. While earlier it had been just my palms, now, my entire body was covered in sweat. 
"Okay, sure. I don't mind." 
In complete contrast to mine, Shimamura's voice sounded both cool and relaxed. 
She accepted my suggestion without any hesitation, like an electric fan leaving behind a breeze, like a person shaking their head and pulling away. 
Huh? 
Things were proceeding smoothly, far more so than I had ever expected. That was most certainly a good thing overall, no doubt about it, but even so, I couldn't help but now find the situation a bit eerie instead. 
It was almost as if the events of the other day were being erased from existence, brushed under the carpet. My brain raced as it tried its best to make sense of what was happening here. 
"So, are we going today?" 
"Huh? Oh, umm... No. Tomorrow. Let's go tomorrow." 
While there was a part of me that would have liked nothing more than to see her straight away, I also knew that I needed some time to calm down unless I wanted to completely embarrass myself. 
Aren't you always embarrassing yourself? I could hear a voice ask in the distance. I chose to ignore it. 
"Hmm, hmm. Tomorrow, huh? Alright. Do you have anywhere in mind you'd like to go to?" 
I did. I most certainly did. Reaching for my desk, I grabbed the list I'd written earlier. I then took a hard, long breath. Okay, this was it. This was what it had all been leading to. 
"Umm, shopping. Shopping comes first." 
"Okay." 
"After that, the pool." 
"Okay?" 
"Then, I'll come over and stay the night at your house. If... If that's okay." 
I proceeded to go down the list, reading off one item at a time. Oh, wait; I'd been so excited that I accidentally skipped over holding hands. 
Whatever. I could simply add that later while we were doing the other stuff. Yeah, just watch me. 
"This sounds so... structured. Like you were reading a list, almost." 
A very keen observation, I had to say; I did have a list in my hands, and it was in fact well-structured. Full marks on both accords. 
Of course—and this went without saying—that didn't make my passion any less genuine. 
"Going to the pool is fine with me, but are you sure that you want to stay over again? The room upstairs doesn't have an air conditioner." 
"That's... That's fine. I'm actually good at dealing with heat. Yeah. Doesn't bother me." 
Really? Was that the case? The words coming from my own mouth managed to shock even myself. 
"Weird. I remember you always complaining about it when we used to hang out at the sport hall." 
"I've, umm... grown since then. Right, I've grown a lot in the past year. I'd love to show my progress to you, Shimamura." 
Hehehe, I added in a desperate attempt to smooth over my strange statement. 
"Hmm... Well, I suppose it'll be fine. Your face does have a tendency to grow pretty red." 
What exactly was that supposed to mean and why had she felt it necessary to point it out? I didn't know; her words were as difficult to parse as always. Whatever the case, there was certainly truth to them; even now, I felt like I might start blushing at any moment. 
While the road there had been a bit bumpy, ultimately, I'd managed to get Shimamura to allow me to stay over at her house. Feeling relieved beyond words, I gave the list I was holding a long, hard look. Putting it together truly had been worth the effort. There simply was no way I would've gotten this far had I been stumbling from the offset. Honestly, I'd kinda expected that to happen, for me to fail. I wonder, why was it that everything was going so smoothly? 
We went on to agree on where and when we were going to meet, and after talking for a bit more, I began to anticipate that Shimamura might soon end the call. 
"Alright. Well, see you tomorrow then." 
"Right. Oh, umm, Shimamura..." I mumbled, clinging onto her voice before it managed to grow distant. 
"Yeah?" 
She was back. Back to me. 
"I was really happy to hear your voice. To be, err, able to talk to you." 
It was my hope that telling her this would stop her from once again putting distance between us. 
Would that work? No, probably not; the anxiety filling me made it impossible for me to imagine that things might go that well. And yet, I still couldn't help but do it. 
"The pleasure was all mine." 
With that comment and a short laugh which followed, she finally hung up, this time for real. The fact that she had trouble ending calls once again proved to be a positive. 
That said, there was no denying that it made me horribly sad to no longer be able to hear her voice. 
I stayed like I was for a short while after the call, my arms fixed in place, unable to move. 
Why? Because I was unsure if things had really gone as well as I thought they had. I lacked confirmation. 
Everything had happened so fast that it just didn't feel real. One moment, we'd fought, and the very next instant, the matter had already been resolved without me actually doing anything. Making peace with someone normally required at least some amount of effort, and yet, with the way things were right now, it almost felt like we'd skipped straight past all of that. 
Like we'd simply moved along from one topic to the next. 
This flimsy foundation left me with nothing to place my confidence on. 
Was this it? Had everything truly been taken care of? Thoughts like those flowing through my head, I found myself shaking my phone in the air. 
"Seriously..." 
I remained unsatisfied. In the back of my mind, there was this feeling, sensation that I'd overlooked something. 
It was almost like I was staring at an exam paper which I'd returned blank, yet still managed to get full marks on. 
I continued racking my brain over it for some time, but that turned out to be of no use; I simply wasn't able to make sense of the true nature of the discomfort I was now feeling. 
"Ah..." 
Going through the list of all the things I wanted to do before school started again, I realised something, something very important: I'd forgotten to make concrete plans in regard to the whole summer festival situation. Even so, though certainly a big concern, that didn't appear to be the source of these feelings either. No, there was something else stuck in my throat. 
Whatever the case, this was no time to be worrying about such things. I decided to shift my focus elsewhere. 
To concentrate only on what I did know. 
That being that tomorrow, I was going to visit the pool with Shimamura. 
Immediately, I got up to go buy myself a swimsuit. 
I could feel my very cells overflowing with energy as I ran outside, too busy to even remember to take my wallet with me. 
Shimamura was pouring life into me. 
It'd taken me this long, but at last, I realised that really was the best way to put it. 

There were few people out there who didn't gain joy from receiving things. 
It was natural to want to be loved, to see someone else enjoy themself. 
Gifts were those feelings given form. 
While I had managed to talk myself into it using those sorts of arguments, looking at it now, I couldn't help but wonder, was this really the right choice? 
Just the act of moving my shoulders caused the sweet fragrant tinged with excitement to sail into my nostrils. 
Grasping the bouquet, I stood there by the mall's entrance—the place we'd agreed to meet at. 
It was currently the day after our phone call. 
"..." 
I'd ultimately settled on a flower bouquet after what felt like an eternity of struggling to reach a conclusion. 
Simply looking at it caused lines of cold sweat to run down my back. 
It was a pretty bold thing to do, wasn't it, giving a friend you were going out with a gift in the form of a bundle of colourful flowers? Really, there was barely need to think about it; this obviously went far over the line. I could see as much myself after calming down a bit, and yet, here I was. That was a pretty common occurrence with me, I'd noticed; I'd often plunge into directions which surprised even myself when trapped in the whirlpool of bewilderment. 
Picking out the right path to follow was difficult to do when you were lost. I knew that to be the case, obviously I did. Even so, I had to say, it was quite the problem how far I tended to stray off course it at times. There was something wrong with my sense of direction—or simply, my good sense. 
The parking lot was full of cars that day. Was that due to it being summer break? Probably. Families and what looked to be groups of students walked in and out through the door next to me, occasionally giving me glances as I stood there by myself with a flower bouquet in hand. I wonder, from their perspective, did it look like I was waiting for someone famous, a celebrity? I suppose there were certain elements to that which weren't so far away from the truth. 
I could only blame myself for buying the flowers, but besides them, there was also another source of worry which continued giving me trouble. 
What sort of face was Shimamura going to make? 
While she'd sounded just like usual on the phone, that did little in the way of soothing my concerns. The surface of my chest was quickly being eroded by anxiety. 
Was she angry at me? Would she act distant, treat me coldly? 
I simply wasn't able to move my attention away from the issue. Assuming that the fault lay within me, what I needed to do was apologize from the bottom of my heart. At the same time, I also kinda got the feeling that this had more to do with the mismatch between our values, how we saw the world. If that was the case, could the situation even be resolved? 
Glancing at the corners of the parking lot to see if Shimamura had arrived, I was left with no choice but to pray that it could be. 
The song of cicadas coming from the trees planted near the mall filled my ears. It was almost as if each and every one of them was its own musical instrument. They alone disturbed the stagnant heat brought upon by the blazing sun, taking the place of the wind which had long since stopped blowing. Listening to them, I could feel the backside of my tongue growing dry. 
Shimamura was nowhere to be seen. That made sense; I'd arrived way earlier than what we'd agreed upon. 
While this was certainly a common occurrence, the reason I'd done so today was slightly different from the norm. It'd been anxiety which pushed me forward, forced me to move. 
As for happiness, well, I suppose that was on its way. 
Time continued to pass as I stood there, the sweet fragrance of the flowers doing little in the way of soothing me. How much longer would I have to wait for? I took my phone out and checked. As it turned out, the answer was thirty minutes. There were still thirty minutes left till our agreed-upon time of meeting. I began putting the device away, but just then, I saw something, something which almost caused me to fall on my backside; there was a person in the distance waving at me. Focusing my eyes on it, I could see that this figure belonged to Shimamura, carrying not just the satchel she usually did but also an additional bag on her shoulder. How early. We weren't supposed to meet for another, err, thirty minutes. Right. And yet, she was already here. 
I wonder, why was it that simply seeing her caused my heart to pound so fast? Why did it make me so excited? 
There was quite a bit of distance between us, but even so, the instant our eyes met, my stomach grew tense. My shoulders became stiff. 
Visibly nervous, I waited for her to walk to me, forgetting even to blink. 
"Yo." 
"Hello..." 
In direct contrast to Shimamura's light greeting, the way I nodded my head was extremely heavy. 
My already stiff shoulders tensed up even further. 
Now standing next to me, Shimamura lowered her hand before shifting her attention to the flowers. 
"What's that?" 
"Huh? Oh, umm... Here", I mumbled as I held them out to her. She appeared very confused, but even so, didn't hesitate to accept my offering. 
I had to say, compared to the nervous wreck that was me, the flowers matched her way better. They really did. I found it difficult to look away. 
"Again, what's this?" 
How was I supposed to answer her? The individual words were all there in my mind, and yet, when I put them together, all I managed to form was this flower bouquet. 
"Is it like, I'm being congratulated for something? But what? Did I hit my 2000th ball? Escape the gamble ship alive?" 
"I... I figured we should commemorate the fact that we made peace, and so..." 
A path forward at last unveiled itself in front of me. On the other side of the field of flowers, Shimamura tilted her head slightly. 
"Made peace?" 
"Huh?" 
Her reaction didn't sound exactly favourable. Slouching forward, I could feel a wave of cold sweat travelling down my back. 
Could it be, had she not forgiven me yet? I stared at her for a few moments with my breath held, until soon... 
"Oh." 
...a sound indicating that she'd figured something out left Shimamura's mouth. Her eyes grew narrow in a slightly awkward fashion as she looked at me. 
"Right. Yeah. I guess we did kinda have a fight of sorts, huh?" 
Had she not been aware of it herself? That was the impression I was left with. Whether that was ultimately a good thing or not, I had no time to think about as soon, Shimamura continued speaking, the bundle held in a slightly upwards angle. 
"Well, it's all good now. Back to being friends." 
"Right", I nodded in a grandiose manner. It was the only thing I could do. 
Just like that, the matter had been dealt with. It was so... easy. And I didn't mean biting through a fresh salad leaf easy, but rather, easy in the dull way. Dull and dry. 
"I think this might be the first time I've ever received flowers." 
"Oh, really?" 
"I guess there aren't many opportunities for that if you usually get along with everyone." 
That was true. Personally, I didn't remember ever being given any either. 
Still, Shimamura's first time, huh? I could feel the corners of my eyes sparkle as I thought about that. 
"All I got after leaving the school club I used to be part of was one lame bottle of juice", she commented while lightly tapping the paper wrapped around the flowers. 
"I see..." 

"Now, more importantly, just look at you, Adachi. You're all sweaty. You really should've waited inside." 
Want to use it? she added while offering me a hand towel. I accepted the offer, but instead of doing anything with the towel, I simply gripped it tight before opening my mouth: 
"Shi—" 
"Shimamura, yes, present." 
Swiftly, she reached in and stole the word straight out from my mouth. Was it really that obvious to tell? Did I always say the same things? 
"I wanted to see you as soon as possible." 
I grew increasingly aware of my ears as I spoke. They were so warm at this point that they practically tingled. Honestly, I was kinda surprised that they could still keep getting warmer. 
My head hung, I glanced up at Shimamura to gauge her reaction, only for her to state the following: 
"As soon as possible? I'm not sure if being behind the door really would've made that big of a difference." 
"Every step counts", I spoke quickly, as if interrupting her. My shoulders had become slightly elevated. "Every step counts..." 
That's how badly I wanted to see you, I tried to add, but the words refused to come out. 
Instead, my lips were left to tremble, forming an incomprehensible mixture of different sounds. 
It was no longer possible for me to look at her straight. Quickly, I shifted my attention away. This turned out not to have quite the effect I'd wanted, however, as immediately afterwards, Shimamura began staring at me instead. I was left in a state of shock, prompting her to take back the towel she'd given me moments earlier and wipe my forehead for me. Naturally, this only made me even more flustered, and as I stood there all stiff with my mouth wide open, Shimamura moved down towards my neck, wiping it clean of sweat as well. My eyes were left spinning in their sockets, following suit with my voice in trying to convey an emotion but failing to do so. 
Coupled with my complexion, I wouldn't blame anyone from thinking that I was currently suffering from a heatstroke. 
"Oh, umm, speaking of... You came kinda early today, huh?" I decided to point out, completely ignoring the fact that I myself had done the same. 
"Yep. I figured you'd show up early too, Adachi." 
Once again, Shimamura had acted in accordance to what she thought I was going to do. She had been spot on like usual, yes, but even so, it kinda felt... wrong. 
I was left with the impression that, rather than actually seeing what was going on inside my head and understanding my thought processes, she was merely scratching the surface. 
This all went to explain why I wasn't trembling with joy at the present. No, I was only moderately happy. 
"Okay, all sweat-free now." 
"Thanks..." I mumbled as I lined up next to her, moving fast with tiny steps, almost like a chicken. This alone was apparently enough for Shimamura to guess what I was planning to do, and before I could even say anything, she lifted her right hand and held it out to me. 
"Here." 
How many days had it been since I had last touched her? The mere thought of that caused the insides of my chest to swirl. 
"If only my little sister was this honest." 
"Huh?" 
"Nothing", she stated before quickly turning forwards. 
Looking at her, the flower bouquet held against her chest while her other hand was wrapped around mine, she really did seem like a person straight out of a painting. 
I found it impossible to avert my eyes. 
"Seriously, what is this?" Shimamura repeated her question from earlier. She wasn't talking about the flowers this time, but instead, about herself, the entire situation at hand. 
Softly, the bouquet swayed. 
Did she not enjoy this? Was she feeling uncomfortable? Baseless worries such as those quickly began creeping their way into my mind. That didn't last very long, however, as thankfully, a smile soon appeared on her face, bringing with it a wave of relief. 
While I didn't have the list of things I wanted to do with me, my fist still clenched tight as if gripping it. 

We ended up dropping by Shimamura's house real quick before going shopping. 
Why? Well, after talking for a bit, she'd come to the conclusion that it would be for the best to get the flowers in a bowl before they went bad. 
"It'd be a real shame if they withered away after you went through the trouble of getting them for me. Also, if I'm being honest, it's kinda difficult to walk while holding them." 
"Bu—" 
"Don't worry, we've got plenty of time", she laughed, as if predicting what I was about to say. By reflex, my lower lip relaxed. 
Shimamura had laughed at me. 
An emotion of warmth filled me, warmer than even the abnormally hot summer. Were the concepts of "warm" and "hot" something that could be felt separately? I'd never really thought about it before. Just like that, my eyes had been opened to a new, mysterious aspect of being a human. 
With Shimamura riding on the back of my bike, we headed towards her house. 
Warmth wasn't the only thing I felt; occasionally, a droplet of cool sweat would roll down my skin as well. 
"Ah, back already", Shimamura's mother greeted her in the entrance as she entered. The woman had been busy cleaning shoes by the looks of it. 
I couldn't help but feel like this exact thing had happened before. Pushing those thoughts aside, I walked in after Shimamura and bowed my head slightly. 
"Oh my. Welcome." 
"Don't get too excited. We only came to drop these flowers I was given." 
"Flowers? By who?" 
Shimamura pointed her jaw towards me in response. My eyes met with her mother's, and immediately, I felt like running away. 
"Wait, today's not your birthday, is it?" 
"Yep, it is. Now hurry up and give me my birthday money", Shimamura stated coldly while holding out her palm. This was obviously a lie, and instead of money, what she received was a bite mark on her middle finger; apparently, the woman had seen through her trickery and decided to respond accordingly. 
"Eek!" Shimamura screamed as she quickly drew her hand back. As for her mother, well, I could hear her cackling to herself as she ran away, almost like a criminal escaping the scene of their crime. The way she moved had been extremely swift, giving me the impression that the two did this sort of stuff on the regular. Having now recovered from the shock of being bitten, Shimamura turned her attention to me while scratching her head awkwardly. 
"Umm, so... You get along pretty well, huh? You and your mother?" 
"Really? Personally, I don't think that we do most of the time", she objected in a slightly stiff voice. Meanwhile, her mother returned. 
Instead of a dust cloth, what the woman had in her hands now was a blue flower vase with a long and narrow neck. 
"Here's the vase. I also put water in." 
"Yeah, I'm not blind. Anyway... Thanks." 
With those words, Shimamura quickly took the vase and placed it on the nearby shelf. 
"Oh, and so that you know, Adachi's going to be staying over tonight." 
"Hmm", the woman mumbled in response before turning her eyes my way. Reflexively, I pulled my jaw in, prompting a smile to appear on her face. 
"Help Hougetsu with her studies, will you?" 
"Huh?" 
What did she mean by that? Immediately, I looked over to Shimamura as if seeking answers. 
Could it be, did her mother have a slightly wrong impression of me? 
"Come on. I've been better about that lately." 
"Hahaha. Brat", the woman laughed, giving but a glance at her daughter's pouting face before dashing away from the scene. You could tell just by looking that Shimamura didn't find the situation at all funny. Regardless, what she did next was undo the paper wrapped around the flowers and place them next to the vase. 
There was something about her mother that was difficult to put to words. 
The way Shimamura acted like a child in front of her, it really made it clear that she was her daughter. 
Child to her mother, big sister to her little sister. I wonder, what sort of shape would she assume before me? 
"Well, whatever. Let's just take care of these flowers quick." 
"Right." 
Standing next to her, I watched as Shimamura took the flowers and inserted them into the vase. It didn't take her long, and after she was done, I shifted my focus down the hallway; for a while now, I'd felt like someone was staring at me. 
That someone turned out to be none other than Shimamura's little sister. Her gaze was not one that could reasonably be interpreted as being friendly, and as I stood there being pierced by it, I found that my neck had instinctively shrunk in. She was like a small animal, staring inside from within the darkness. I distinctively remembered feeling this exact sensation before. 
Mainly in front of the mirror. 
I stared at the girl for a moment, when all of a sudden, I noticed it; something flashy and blue could be seen behind her head, almost as if she was wearing a wig but only on the backside. Looking at it more closely, it actually turned out to be the hair of that weird creature I'd met a few times before. 
"Hey, Yachii, that's no good. You stand out way too much", Shimamura's sister exclaimed while pushing the girl back, only for her to respond by doing the exact same. The efforts of the two cancelled each other out, leaving even their faces to become squished as they squeezed against each other. Even so, they just kept going, not really making any progress one way or another. Was this something kids did for fun? 
"I'm not sure when it happened, but my sister really has become good friends with that weirdo", Shimamura commented, all the while continuing to work on the flowers. Her head then turned as she shifted her attention from the girls to me. 
Immediately, my body grew tense. 
"I guess you could say the same about me." 
With that short statement, she once again returned to the flowers. 
It took me a few moments to process the meaning behind her words, but as the truth dawned on me, it really did take me by shock. 
Did Shimamura see me as being weird? Did I fit the definition of a weirdo in her eyes? I mean, sure, I'll concede the point and agree that I was a little strange, but it wasn't anywhere near the level of that girl and her blue hair, was it? Flustered, I turned my eyes her way. 
She was currently busy rubbing her soft cheek up and down against the face of Shimamura's sister. The cheeks of the latter were likewise puffed and her ears were red, making me wonder how dissatisfied she really was with the situation at hand. Quite the thing to do in this heat. Then again, if I was given the opportunity to do that, rub my face against Shimamura's, would I really care if it was the middle of the summer? Hmm... Wait, no. What had we even been talking about? 
"Okay, I'm done. Thanks for the flowers, Adachi", Shimamura thanked me, now folding the paper the flowers had been wrapped in. 
I tried my best to act cool. It was quite difficult to do so, as in reality, simply hearing those words come out from her mouth made me ecstatic. 
"Right. Yeah, good. I'm glad. As long as you enjoyed them, then that's all that matters." 
So much for "acting cool"... Then again, as far as I was concerned, I suppose it wasn't a half-bad attempt. 
"It was shopping first, right?" 
"Oh, umm, yeah. But, it doesn't really matter. We could go to the pool or whatever first if you'd like." 
Totally fine by me, I gestured by raising the bag which held my swimsuit. Extending her neck as if to circle around said bag, Shimamura took a long look at me. 
"You sure are a big fan of the pool, huh, Adachi? It's almost as if you had an obsession over it." 
"Huh? Well, it's... It's really warm outside. And the water is... cool? Yeah, I like that, that it's cool." 
Not obsessed about seeing you in a swimsuit, no, I waved my hand in the air. 
It would make me look extremely suspicious were I to actually say something like that out loud. Even I knew that. It was the reason why I didn't do so. 
Of course I didn't. 
"I'm just wondering since you always fake being sick so you don't have to do sports in school." 
"That's... different." 
The fact that I was going with her was what gave it meaning. 
While we were talking, Shimamura opened the door. She then stepped outside into the summer, and with her eyes glaring at the scorching sun, spoke the following: 
"Well then, off to the pool we go." 
"Right." 
I went ahead and pasted a sticker on the mental copy of the list of all the things I wanted to do that I had stored in my head. 
"Which pool are we going to?" 
"Umm... Do you have any specific one in mind, Shimamura?" 
While I had looked up pretty much every single pool in the entire town beforehand, I did want to hear Shimamura's opinion as well. 
"Do I have one in mind? Well, if you're fine with an indoor pool, then yeah, I do know a place." 
Oh, but, she quickly added while glancing at me, her eyebrows knitted together. Why did she do that? I wasn't sure. It almost seemed to me like she'd remembered something. 
"No, actually, I'm not sure. Is that a good idea after all? Should we really go there?" 
What was she talking about? Again, I didn't really know, but based on the way she stared at me while repeatedly doubting herself, I couldn't imagine that it was anything positive. 
"I'm fine with anywhere you want to go, Shimamura." 
"No, no, that's not what I mean. Still... Whatever. It'll probably be fine." 
It's cheap. And it's close, she listed as reasons. 
"You said you were fine with anywhere, right?" 
A grin appeared on her face as she repeated my words from earlier back to me. 
I really wanted to ask her what was up with the pool to make her hesitate that much. And yet, I couldn't; my mouth had been sealed shut behind a forced smile. 
Shimamura sure was scary. 
Through such a course of events, we began making our way towards the pool of Shimamura's endorsement. I was pedalling like usual, with her once again riding on the back. It really did bring me joy feeling her weight against my shoulders. 
"..." 
The bike moved forward as if nothing was wrong. 
There we were, Shimamura and I, travelling together under the summer sun. At a glance, everything looked the same as before. 
Under the surface, however, I had so many things that I wanted to ask her, things that I couldn't stop thinking about. 
For example, who was that girl she'd been with? 
Wait, no... Thinking about it some more, that really was the only question I had. There were detours and shortcuts to be taken, yes, but in the end, all of them led to the same point—to that question. 
I wanted a confirmation. I wanted to make things clear. Regardless of what the answer was going to be, I just had to know. 
And yet, I also felt like were I to start questioning her with as much passion as before causing her to hang up on me again, then that would be it. For good this time. The two of us had yet to build a solid connection... or something. We were like two islands, separated by the sea. Leaves floating in a river, overlapping by mere chance. We'd spent a pretty long while together, yes, but that didn't mean that it would last; the smallest change in current, the slightest gust of wind could easily push us apart. 
That was the kind of relationship we had—one which never allowed me to feel safe. 
It was exactly why I thought so fondly of the weight of Shimamura's hands on my shoulders. 
For a brief moment, it connected me to her. 

Having been guided by Shimamura, I now found myself standing before a sports gym. 
A sign made of white and blue greeted us. I had to say, the colour scheme they'd chosen to go with certainly was refreshing. There were two parking lots, separated by a thin pathway, both filled to the brim with cars. Sunlight reflected off their roofs, making it so that wherever I looked, it always found a way to get into my eyes. 
"My mom comes here often." 
"Oh, I see." 
Having just taken her bag out from the basket of my bike, Shimamura grew stiff for a moment. Then, she took another look at me before stating the following: 
"My mom does." 
Why had she felt it necessary to repeat herself? I stared at her confused, unable to figure out the reason for it, only for her to respond with a short giggle. 
"Let's get going." 
Simply looking at her, I could feel blood tinged with both excitement and tension running through the backs of my hands. 
I was being rejuvenated. 
According to Shimamura, her mom was a full member here, meaning that she was able to buy pool tickets really cheaply. There was also another reason why she preferred this place, that being that not many people came here. I could certainly see the logic behind that; considering the time of year as well as the weather, outdoors pools must have been jam-packed with people. From that point of view, this did seem like the best choice. 
We walked past the reception desk and headed right towards the changing room as indicated. 
Immediately after the turn there was a glass window, behind which I could see the pool. My eyes had grown adjusted to the brightness outside, and while the lack of light did mean that I had to squint to do so, I ultimately managed to make out the figures of couple of elderly people swimming around in the darkness. Shifting my attention towards the back wall, I spotted a few more walking along it. Everyone I saw was either elderly or middle-aged, giving me the impression that young people were a rare sight around here. Then again, thinking about it some more, it was a regular weekday today. Yes, we students were free to enjoy the summer break, but normal people, they still had to go to work. As such, it was only natural for there to not be any young adults around; if any of them wanted to come from a swim, they'd have to do so during the evening. 
"There's a sauna in the back too. Well, not that we can go there with the tickets we have." 
I see, I nodded my head slightly. I wasn't really interested in that anyway. 
Simply walking outside already made me sweat like crazy as was. Didn't need a sauna for that. 
We passed by a vending machine, when all of a sudden, Shimamura pulled to a halt. Wondering if she was planning on purchasing something, I stopped too. That turned out to not be the case, and what she did instead was state the following: 
"There's a sauna too." 
Again, the words that came out from her mouth were an exact repeat of what she'd just said. What was up with her? 
It felt like today, Shimamura was acting about 20 percent more odd than usual. 
We then entered the changing room. Staring at the lockers, a certain fact resounded loudly within my head. 
A fact which had chased me down, passed me, and then hardened up to form a wall which now blocked my way. 
Was I really going to be changing clothes in the same room as Shimamura? 
There shouldn't have been any problems with that. It should have been perfectly normal. And yet, simply thinking about it, I couldn't help but feel strangely self-conscious. I mean, if you were to ask me whether or not I wanted to see Shimamura naked, then no, the answer would be no. I wasn't like that. I wasn't. Even so, I wonder, why was it that I felt so embarrassed? Why was I unable to grasp the real reason behind my body's writhing? 
The keys we'd been given were nearly adjacent in terms of number, albeit separated by a single locker. This left me with little room to hide. Hide what? Neither of us could do it. Again, what was I talking about? My hands shaking, I turned the key and opened my locker. 
I watched with the corner of my eye as Shimamura placed her bag down. Why? Why was I looking at her? 
Where were these emotions running through me coming from? 
Using this philosophical question as a segue, I attempted to focus my mind away from such worldly desires. And yet, I couldn't. My heart simply kept on pounding. 
Shimamura pulled down her clothes. What was revealed underneath was a swimsuit. 
"..." 
It appeared that she'd already been wearing it under her clothes by the time she left her house. 
"......" 
Currently in the process of putting a swimming cap on, Shimamura turned her eyes towards me. 
"What is it?" 
"Oh, nothing..." 
I shook my head. I shook it real hard. I just kept doing it, purposefully making it so that it was hard to tell what exactly I was saying no to. 
"Oh, are you thinking that it's kinda childish to come already wearing a swimsuit?" 
A vague laugh left Shimamura's mouth as she readjusted the shoulder straps. 
"No, that's... I guess. I guess it kinda is." 
Yeah, let's just go with that. Why not. 
I could hear Shimamura laugh once more as she turned her eyes away, almost as if embarrassed. It was quite rare to see her act like that. 
"Doing it this way is just so much easier that it's kinda become a habit of mine." 
"Ahaha..." 
Haha. 
I was pretty surprised to see her wearing a school swimsuit. Wait, no; what I meant to say is, I wasn't like that. 
Her goggles sitting firmly on top of her swimming cap, Shimamura now waited for me. Also, and I wasn't sure why she was doing this, but she had her arms crossed for some reason. A different gush of emotions rushed upon me this time: Was I really about to undress in front of her? Undress. In front of. Shimamura. My thoughts became disjointed and my face grew warm, almost as if I'd stuck my head into a cloud of hot mist. 
I could feel my body becoming even more stiff as I stood there, gripping the hem of my shirt. 
No. No, no. 
There was absolutely no reason for me to feel this anxious. Forcing myself to believe that, I removed the top layer of my clothes before placing my hands on my underwear. 
The image which appeared to me was that of a car shooting out sparks as its wheels scraped against the road. 
My mind was being ground to dust. 
"Hmph." 
This short reaction of Shimamura's instantly caused me to twitch. 
Feeling even more anxious than before, I proceeded to pull down my underwear. Then, with shaky hands, I reached into my bag and took out my swimsuit. 
I really should have gotten it ready beforehand. Seriously, how was I so bad at this? 
"Ohh." 
I grew more and more anxious every second that passed, and by the time I'd managed to pull the swimsuit up, my mind had all but transformed into a ball of white mist. 
"Ooh." 
Like a flower budding, all the tension met at the very top of my head. 
Trying to focus my mind elsewhere quickly proved to be an impossible task, and as such, I was left with no choice but to boldly turn my head around to towards Shimamura. 
I found her groaning to herself while facing the fan. 
As the fan rotated left, she moved left with it, and as it rotated right, she too changed direction. 
"......" 
Swiftly, I hid my face behind my hands. She has no idea. Shimamura has no idea, I silently lamented. 
The way she was acting here kinda made her resemble Nagafuji. 
"Oh, are you done changing?" 
"Yeah..." 
"Wow. That sure isn't a school swimsuit." 
"No..." 
Considering the general atmosphere of the pool as witnessed earlier, the swimsuit I'd bought specially for this occasion really did stand out. Well, probably; it was a blue one piece, and compared to the one Shimamura was wearing, I suppose it wasn't that different. Small fortune, I know. 
"Kinda cute", Shimamura stated in a light-hearted manner, now distinctively leaning forward towards me. 
I was cute, or the swimsuit was? I almost wanted to ask her for a confirmation, but knowing that she'd likely give some super vague answer just to tease me, I chose against it. Whatever the case, the fact remained that she'd praised me. Couldn't feel too bad about that. 

Glance. 
Contrary to the mix of emotions running through my mind, the disinfectant fluid my feet were now drenched in was relatively lukewarm. There was no water coming from the shower heads attached to the ceiling, and instead, a thick smell floated through the air, so pungent it felt like the insides of my nostrils were being scraped off. The fact that it took me more than a few moments to recognize it as that of chlorine really went to show just how long it had been since I last went swimming indoors. Glance. 
With that out of the way, it was now time to enter the pool proper. My nose had already grown adjusted to the chlorine, and honestly, I barely even noticed it anymore. 
The pool was split into six separate lanes, out of which we were apparently only able to use the one closest to us—number six. As for the other lanes, those were reserved for adults to swim in silence. This certainly didn't feel like a situation to be making merry in. Well, not that I could really imagine that, Shimamura and I messing around and having lots of noisy fun. Glance. 
There were people passing along the lane meant for water walking. Looking at them, I could see that they had their eyes pointed in our direction. Again, it was probably rare to see anyone of our age here, much less two at the same time. Shimamura appeared to be barely aware of their stares, possibly because she'd come here previously. That, or she was simply too busy to notice; her eyes moved almost restlessly as she glared deeper in, away from the pool. 
"Are you looking for someone?" 
Not that girl from the festival, right? Hopefully not. I had no reason to believe that to be the case, and yet, just thinking about it, I could feel the depths of my stomach start to burn. 
Glance. 
"Huh? Hmm... Ahahaha." 
Shimamura didn't answer my question, instead choosing to scratch her cheek almost as if glossing over the matter. Glance. 
"Hm?" 
It was there that I noticed something—grew aware of what was really going on. The realisation shocked me greatly, yes, but pushing back those feelings, I decided to go ahead and follow the way in which my eyes were moving. 
Walk. Glance. Walk a bit slower. Glance. It was exactly as I'd thought. Instantly, I went pale. 
My eyes were gravitating towards Shimamura's butt. I mean, no, it wasn't like I was staring at it long and hard or anything like that. Rather, I would glance at it, and then, a fixed period of time later, glance at it again. That had all happened subconsciously, and now that I was actually aware that I was doing it, my cheeks instantly grew warm, almost as if I'd submerged myself in a bathtub full of boiling hot water. My face transitioned from pale to red and then pale again, just like the tides of the ocean but way more intense. 
I was especially focusing on the boundary between her butt and the swimsuit. Why? I had no idea; despite myself being the one doing it, the question proved to be impossible for me to answer. The only thing thinking about it led to was my head and cheeks growing even hotter than they already were. Droplets of sweat ran down my skin. I seriously had to do something to cool myself down. With that in mind, I took a look besides me, and wouldn't you know it, the pool was right there. Perfect. More falling than jumping, I dove in and pierced through the soft wall of water. Once below the surface, I quickly sank the rest of the way down to the bottom before turning around and beginning to make my way back to the surface. I wasn't wearing goggles or anything, and though that did cause my vision to grow blurry from the chlorine, I was still able to distinguish the ceiling made of water above me. 
I decided to stay beneath the surface until my head had fully cooled down. To do so, I emptied my lungs and once again began sinking. One by one, I could see the air bubbles coming from my mouth float up and break through the watery ceiling. I also saw that Shimamura had gotten in the water herself. Her goggles were now firmly planted on top of her eyes, and like me, she too was blowing bubbles. It took her little time to reach my slowly sinking body, my arms and legs spread out like a starfish. She then leaned over me, and instantly, my eyes turned towards the boundary between her armpits and the swimsuit. Again, not deliberately. I just found myself doing so. Why? Why did this keep happening? Questions like those ran through my mind, until a few moments later, I realised that I'd released too much air and had to hurry back to the surface before I suffocated. 
"Kinda looks like you're already having fun." 
"Huh? Oh, umm, well..." 
Ehehe, I laughed in an attempt to dodge her statement, all the while water dripped out from my nose and every single muscle in my face continued to cramp. 
I'd been fooled; as it turned out, coming to the pool with Shimamura was far more dangerous of an act than I could ever have imagined. 
After a few moments spent catching my breath, I went ahead and wiped my face using my hand. There at last, I was able to get a sense of the water's coolness. 
Sinking a bit so that my shoulders were below the surface, I began swimming forward. 
Now then, what should I do? I glanced over towards the lane next to us and saw that the person there was going super hard at it, giving me the impression that this was a form of exercise for them. Personally though, I wasn't really in the mood for that. 
"Feels pretty good, huh?" 
Shimamura on the other hand was merely floating in place, her jaw just above the surface of the water. It appeared that simply being able to escape the heat of the summer was more than enough to satisfy her. She was kinda cute, the way she did it. Almost like an alligator. Alligators were cute? Well, no, I just mean... Never mind. 
"Oh, that reminds me", she stated all of a sudden before swimming over to me, both her face and hands gliding above the water like those of a frog. I waited, and soon, found that she'd placed one of her hands on top of my head. I could feel her move it up and down slightly, almost as if she was patting me. 
"Sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have said that", she apologized. It was the same way you'd apologize to a child. While I couldn't deny that it did bring a lot of questions to my mind the way she was treating me here, those were quickly pushed aside by another sensation—that being shock. No part of me had expected her to just randomly apologize, and I now found myself at a loss as to how I was supposed to respond. 
"Oh, yeah. You don't need to apologize for it, Shimamura." 
"Right. It's not really like that, like either of us did anything wrong." 
A very Shimamura-esque reply, I had to say. If the four human emotions—joy, anger, grief, and pleasure—were the four seasons, then her voice invoked none of them. Its temperature was fixed, its wind calm. You hardly noticed as it passed you by. 
"Even so, I really did mean it, what I said. It wasn't a lie or a joke or anything like that." 
I found great relief in the fact that, instead of making up excuses, Shimamura chose to walk down the path of honesty. It felt like she was always being sincere with me rather than hiding what was truly going on in her mind. 
We spent the next few moments like that, her patting my head not like a big sister, but like a mother. 
It was a shame that I was wearing a cap and couldn't feel her hand directly. Even so, the sensation was still more than enough to calm me down. That was how I felt, calm, calm like the water. However, just then, Shimamura opened her mouth and stated the following: 
"Hey, Adachi." 
"Huh?" 
"I was just thinking, it might be good if you also tried making friends with other people. Different types of people." 
"Huh?" 
Before I knew it, I'd turned my face all the way up. Softly, as if persuading me, Shimamura continued talking: 
"I'm not saying that you shouldn't be friends with me or anything, just that it wouldn't necessarily hurt if you broadened your horizons a little. Don't you agree? It might be more stable that way." 
My first reaction was to deny her words, stop them from entering my ears. 
That turned out to not be possible; now done speaking, what Shimamura did next was stare at me in silence. 
Like the surface of the water, my shoulders shook. Then, they stopped. 
I went ahead and actually thought about it. 
Considering the state I'd wound up in as a result of growing too passionate about her, it made a lot of sense for Shimamura to suggest this. Really, you could even say that it was the single most normal, rational thing she could've done. Everything that had happened was my fault. Wait, no; the purpose here wasn't to assign blame. 
Just calm down a little. It felt like that was the core of her message, what she was trying to tell me. 
There might have been truth to it. It might have been what I needed to hear. And yet, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. It was as if Shimamura had pulled up her defences against me. 
As if she'd placed her hand on my forehead and told me to stop. 
"I'll... think about it", I nodded, not because I meant it but because I felt like I had to. This was the best I could do at the moment. 
"Sure. It's ultimately up to you what you value in life so I'm not going to try and force you more than is necessary, but still." 
But still, I'm not sure how far I'm willing to go along with that. While she didn't actually say that last part, it felt to me like what was implied. 
Right. Things had been going so well lately that I had almost forgotten the underlying truth. 
Shimamura was not gentle, nor was she kind. 
She was tolerant of others taking steps towards her, yes, very much so, but good luck if you ever wanted her to take one towards you. 
Like being dipped head first into a tank of ice water—and this wasn't a joke about the pool's temperature—I felt the very core of my body freeze over. While it obviously couldn't be, I really did get the sense that my skin was colder than the water surrounding it. 
There, at last, I realised something. Something that I'd failed to notice. 
The matter which had brought me so much anxiety had been resolved just like that. 
Based on the phone call yesterday and now this, I was left with the impression that Shimamura barely recognized the events which had taken place as us having a fight. In her mind, we'd been friends the whole time. It was for this reason that, despite all that had happened, despite the storm and waves, today and the day before remained strongly connected. However, you shouldn't let yourself be fooled; while it might appear at a glance that things were going steady, that was actually a mere illusion. 
I couldn't help but shudder at the way she was treating me. 
"Shimamura..." 
I was right there next to her, and yet, she felt so distant. Frightened by the sensation, I found myself calling out her name. 
"Hmm?" 
Her reaction sounded carefree. Sluggish, even. 
Just then... 
I could see something moving behind her. It almost looked like bubbles rising to the surface. I'd just pushed my head forward to get a better look of what was going on when all of a sudden, Shimamura disappeared underwater; what I now recognized as a human figure had swam to her, grabbed her shoulders, and pulled her beneath the surface. 
"Shimamuraaa!" I screamed, all the while watching the mysterious person make their escape through the water, loudly cackling to themself while swimming away. It felt like I'd heard this exact laugh not all that long ago. Whatever the case, I had to say, the person sure was going fast. They even cleared the partition which separated the lanes from one another with no trouble. The way they moved their feet was both wild and rough, and though I'd never seen a real one, I couldn't help but imagine that this was how a kappa would swim. Soon enough, Shimamura returned to me. 
She wiped her face clean having resurfaced, her eyes remaining pointed into the direction of the water splashes. 
Though faint, the corners of her mouth were pointed upwards, forming a distinct smile. 
"Don't grow up to become that sort of an adult, alright, Adachi?" 
"Sure..." I replied faintly, all the while staring at her face as droplets of water travelled down it. 
Shimamura was uncovering her emotions, laying them bare. 
On top of that, unlike when she was angry, there was no malice to them this time. 
No. This was the sort of thing you only showed to those closest to you. Deep down in my heart, I couldn't help but feel jealous. 
It might be that the expression currently on her face was the essence of the sort of relationship I'd been seeking. 

Having exited the gym, we randomly ran into Shimamura's mother. Here's what she had to say: 
"Drop by the meat store and buy some croquettes." 
"Hmm, I think you forgot to say something. Any idea what that might be?" 
"Make sure you don't get hit by a car." 
"T h a n k y o u." 
Observing this interaction from the side, I was once again left with the impression that the two of them were really close. 
Even I could tell as much. 
Anyway, Shimamura then hopped onto my bike, and together, we began heading towards our new destination: Nagafuji Meat. Once there, we were greeted by a fairy with blue hair drawn by the entrance. What was such a thing doing there? I wasn't quite sure. Also, while I wasn't able to put my finger on exactly where, it really did feel like I'd seen this character before. 
At no point did Nagafuji make an appearance while we were picking out our order. 
"She shows up pretty infrequently, huh, that Nagafuji?" 
"You can say that again. She's totally useless", the man behind the counter—presumably Nagafuji's father—replied to Shimamura's question, all the while shaking his sweaty hand sideways. 
The door in the back did tremble slightly as if there was someone behind it, but I'm just going to pretend like I didn't see that. 
Anyhow, I could now cross "shopping with Shimamura" off my list. 
Wait... I could? 
With the side dish for the evening meal purchased, we returned back to Shimamura's house. It was only my second time staying over there, and yet, unlike previously, I now had my very own chair set up by the dinner table. 
I did find it a little awkward how cramped my presence made things. All of our shoulders were rubbing together, and I could practically feel the warmth being released as a result. While certainly not something a person staying over at someone else's house ought to say, if I'm being perfectly honest, I wasn't a big fan of eating like this. 
Or rather, I'd experienced it so few times that I had yet to develop the right type of antibodies. 
Even the finest nutrition was poisonous unless you had immunity against it. 
"Sorry for all the trouble..." 
"No, it's fine", Shimamura's mom stated. 
"Don't worry about it", the girl with blue hair added. 
"Hey, you shut up." 
"Hehehe." 
The blue haired girl (I forgot her name) had shown up to the dinner table almost like she was part of the family, going as far as to have friendly chit-chat with Shimamura's mom. Her dad and sister likewise appeared to pay no mind to her presence. 
"Don't worry, don't worry." 
The speaker this time was Shimamura herself, advising me with her mouth full of miso soup. 
I wonder, was it growing up in a house like this which led her to become as bizarrely tolerant as she was? Wait, no, that wasn't quite the right word... Broad-minded? 
Something like this could never happen over at our house. In the worst case, it'd be Mom calling people over. 
"That's just how Mom always is." 
Ah... Once again, I was made to realise just how peculiar Shimamura was. 
At the same time, it was likely exactly that aspect of her which had attracted me to her in the first place. 
I saw in the corner of my eye as her hair glistened, still a little wet from when we'd been swimming. It was so... nice. 
Restlessly eating the food which had been prepared for me, I found my mind wandering back to the events of the afternoon. 
Everything was well between us. That really was a wonderful thing, wasn't it? 
The way I saw it, a perfectly round stone could float steadily down the river of time without getting caught in anything along the way. 
Wonderful. 
That was how it should've been. 
For some reason, the situation just didn't click with me. My only guess as to why was that I hadn't experienced it before. 
If there was one thing that I lacked sorely, then it had to be experience. 
Well then, go get some. I knew that I should. I knew that Shimamura was implicitly recommending me to do so as well. Having her come so far for me really did make me want to give it my all. 
As much as adapting to what was around me wasn't my thing, I knew that it would be necessary here. 
That was the sort of situation I found myself in. 
Sipping my post-meal tea, I made up my mind. 
It was now clear who the first person I needed to get closer to was. My eyes cast downwards as they had a tendency to be, I stared at her, observing her behaviour. Ah, she got up. Following after her, I too gulped down my remaining tea, thanked Shimamura's mother, and left the table. 
The person I'd laid my eyes on was none other than Shimamura's little sister. Why? Well, a big part of it had to do with the fact that she was, like mentioned, Shimamura's sister, but there was more to it than that; she reminded me of myself. While I did have a little trouble admitting it, the truth was that our personalities were the same. 
The more closely a person resembled yourself, the easier it should be to figure out what it was that they wanted. At least, that was the idea. 
Entering the hallway, I saw that Shimamura's sister was just about to return to her room. Quickly, I began walking towards her. Was this a good idea? Or was it not? The voices in my mind were still busy arguing over how to proceed, and even as I caught up to the girl, no sort of consensus had been reached among them. 
Busy thinking about that, I'd completely failed to notice how massive the difference between our walking speeds was. 
I passed the girl and turned around to face her. The ornament attached to her hair shook as she jumped a little. 
Staring at her, I instinctively found myself touching my own hairpin. 
"Umm..." I tried talking, all the while struggling to calm myself down. It felt like my voice might crack any second now. "My name is Sakura Adachi." 
My hand pressed against my chest, I went ahead and introduced myself. The little girl—so little that her entire body was swallowed by the shadow which I cast—proceeded to stare back at me, the expression of shock on her face quickly fading away as she worked to regain her composure. I was left with the impression that she wasn't exactly in a good mood. 
No, it was like she found me intimidating. 
"I'm a friend of Shimamura's. I mean, your big sister's." 
Why was it that I was having such trouble speaking? The words simply refused to come out of my mouth, almost as if I was trying to speak English to a foreigner. 
Again, why? I was so suspicious. 
"I see." 
The girl's reaction sounded extremely stiff. Similarly, the air around her appeared almost powdery, like she was trapped inside a cloud of dust or something. 
I could feel my voice growing hoarse as said dust made its way down my throat. It was difficult to resist the temptation to run away. 
And yet, I couldn't. The obsession I had over having to change, having to do something differently had transformed into a sword and was now poking at my heels, making it impossible for me to turn around. 
An awkward smile formed on my face as I ordered myself to stand firm. 
You could tell by the wrinkles which had appeared under my eyes just how difficult this was for me. 
Shimamura's sister appeared more confused than anything. She likely had no idea what it was that I wanted. Paying no mind to that fact, I took yet another step towards her. 
"That's why I... umm... I was thinking... I want to get to know you better. Get closer to you." 
Get closer to her? 
"So... How about it? Will tonight do?" 
"Tonight?" 
"Yes." 
"Will what do?" 

A loud noise reached my ears as I sat there in the bathtub, almost as if a bucket or something had fallen down onto the ground. It sounded like one of those stereotypical things you'd often hear in movies. 
Of course, in reality, there hadn't been any sound. No, my mind was merely playing tricks on me under the influence of the hot water in which I'd stayed for far too long. 
"......" 
As tiny as Shimamura's sister was, the tub still wasn't quite large enough for the two of us. The fact that we were facing each other certainly didn't help either. 
Allow me to explain. I hadn't dragged her here against her will and torn off her clothes or anything of the sort. Of course I hadn't. Rather, I'd asked her if she would like to do this and... well, I might have pushed her just a little bit, but even so. In any case, this was mostly consensual. Probably. The fact that she was completely silent and had been for while now did paint me in pretty bad light, I'll give you that. 
The way I'd seen it, this was the best way to get close to a kid like her. 
Speaking of... 
One of the items on my list was "take a bath with Shimamura". I suppose I could cross it off now. 
Then again, that did fall into the domain of words games. Hmm... To put a sticker on it or not... I honestly wasn't quite sure which path to take. 
"You're friends with Sis, right?" 
Half of her face submerged below the water's surface, the girl stared hard at me. 
The sound of bubbles mixed together with her voice as she spoke. 
"Yeah... Yes, I am." 
Her sudden question had caught me off guard, leaving me with little time to choose my words. 
While I didn't know her exact age, I could only assume that the girl was around five or six years younger than me. And yet, here I was, talking to her all respectfully as if I was the younger and she the older. 
"What sort of friends?" 
Another question which I didn't know how to answer. 
If I did, I wouldn't feel so scared all of the time. My mind wouldn't constantly be full of worry. 
"I've been her sister for way longer than that", the girl stated before I managed to say anything. It was there that I understood what she'd actually meant. 
She wasn't referring to the depth of our friendship, but rather, its length. 
Thinking about it some more, I realised just how silly it was that I'd ever been confused. What sort of elementary school student would ask another person how deep their friendships were? The thought alone kinda scared me. 
"So, yeah." 
Like the bubbles of the bath, a tiny bit of politeness could be heard in the girl's voice before it quickly faded away. 
I was left with the impression that she harboured some amount of competitiveness towards me. I suppose that only made sense; being her little sister, the girl was likely more than slightly dependant upon Shimamura. It was for this reason that my presence at times caused her anguish. 
Looking at it like that, the situation honestly wasn't bad at all. However, as you peered just a little deeper, you began to see where the problems lay. Specifically, when you looked at me; the fact alone that she was Shimamura's sister filled me to the brim with jealousy. Why? Because for so long, I'd yearned for something similar, a name for our relationship. 
Silence fell between us. We sat there without a word, droplets of water continuing to drip down from our hair. 
I knew I had to do something. My mind began to burn, almost as if someone was squeezing my head together. 
It had been like that at the pool as well, but unlike then, simply getting into the water wasn't going to cause things to move forward this time. It didn't need to be a miracle. It didn't need to be a backwards somersault. No, I only needed something to move us past this hump. 
But how? What was I supposed to do here? Toss water on her face? Wait, no; on a second thought, that didn't sound like a good idea. What if she interpreted it as me picking a fight with her? 
At the same time, there wasn't much else here that caught my eye. While the bathtub owned by Shimamura's family was quite long vertically speaking, it made up for that by being extremely narrow. Moreover, its simplistic, box-like design meant that you could barely stretch out your feet. 
Not that I had any plans of doing that. Instead, it was my goal to keep my legs as close to my body as possible. And yet, despite my best attempts, I would still occasionally find them coming into contact with those of the tiny girl. 
While nowhere near as cramped as sitting side by side would've been, I still had to wonder, why exactly was it that we'd chosen to face each other. 
Unconsciously, our eyes met. It felt like a firework of warmth had gone off inside my head. 
I continued my fierce battle submerged within the hot bathwater. While these expressions were admittedly quite cheap, which each one, I could feel the insides of my mind continue to boil. 
"So, why?" Shimamura's sister asked. Once again, she was using as few words as possible. "Why the bath?" 
"I wanted to get along with you better." 
It was quickly becoming clear to me just how difficult playing the role of the older party truly was. Unable to keep it up, the corners of my mouth soon dropped, giving way for an utterly pathetic expression to take over my face. 
From the right angle, it probably looked like I was grinning to myself like some idiot. Great. 
The lips of the girl sitting opposite to me puckered even tighter. 
"Why?" she asked once more. Why indeed? 
I could feel the water swallow my body as I sat there, unable to find an answer to her question. 
"Why..." 
Because Shimamura had told me so? Because I wanted Shimamura to approve of me? Because... Shimamura... 
While all those things I'd listed were certainly true, I couldn't help but wonder, was there something more to it, something else? 
Did I really need such a complex, roundabout reason to love my neighbour? 
Some more moments passed, and soon, I could see the girl's face starting to turn scarlet. 
A question popped into my mind as I stared at her. 
"Umm... Do you, love your sister?" 
"Huh?" 
Instantly, Shimamura's sister leapt up, creating a splash in the water around her. A few droplets ended up landing on my face. 
The faint shade of red from earlier had now transformed into a full-blown blush, reaching not just her cheeks but her ears as well. Was the water on her side of the bath just that much warmer? Or, could it be? 
Slowly, the girl returned below the water. She then replied to me in a soft tone of voice, almost as if attempting to fake being calm. 
"Not especially. We're just... normal." 

I could see behind her blush that the girl was only saying that to make herself look tough. She wasn't doing a particularly good job at hiding it though, and as a result, it was trivial for me to tell what was actually going on in her mind. 
I had to wonder, was this how I too appeared to the people around me? 
"I see. But, I do think that Shimamura probably likes... loves you." 
My chest ached as I squeezed the words out through my throat. 
"Anyway, my point was, I want to like the people Shimamura likes as well." 
With all the things that had held it back having melted away, my tongue was now free to move as it pleased. 
Really, was that what I thought? Was it not the exact opposite? 
Was I not scared senseless of the idea of Shimamura liking someone who wasn't me? Did I not hate it? 
Yes, that was more accurate. Much, much more accurate. 
In that case, what was I saying right now? What were these words coming out of my mouth? 
Why exactly had I chosen to defy everything I felt and knew to come here? 
I could feel myself growing more dizzy by the second. My mind lapsed into chaos, and I really meant that. 
"And how is that related?" 
"Well, if everyone chooses to value and protect the same thing, then it feels to me like it'll be easier to keep it safe." 
This concept wasn't something that had existed in my heart previously. So then, where was it coming from? Why was I saying these words out loud? 
My mind was quickly overheating. At this point, steam could start shooting out from my ears and I wouldn't even be surprised. 
I proceeded to think about the true nature of what was going on here. Then, after a few moments, it hit me. I managed to arrive at one possible explanation. Could it be, could it be that I was simply ashamed? Ashamed that I'd dared to brag? 
"You sound like my teacher", the girl stated. I was left with the impression that she was specifically referring to my excessively polished outer layer. 
After a short pause, she continued. 
"Like me." 
A smile appeared on her face. 
Not a broad, bright smile, but rather, a faint grin. 
It didn't seem like she was filled with joy or anything like that. Rather, I was left to think that her smile was meant to be almost sarcastic in nature. That was what made up the majority of her expression. And yet, it wasn't all. There was more to it than that; though extremely faint, something about the way she looked at me gave me the impression that the girl did also harbour a certain level of empathy towards me. Had we done it? Had we taken a step towards mutual understanding? If so, then this had all certainly been worth doing. That was how I saw it. That was how I wanted to see it. 
A journey of a thousand miles began with a single step, and the same was also true for people; even if you found yourself unable to close your distance with someone in a single go, you could always work on it slowly over time. 
That was the conclusion I'd come to. However, the very next instant... 
"Happily ever after?" 
...something blue appeared next to us, causing me to nearly leap up into the air. 
"Eek!" Shimamura's sister screamed a fraction of a second later. She appeared just as shocked by the intruder as I was. "How long have you been standing there for, Yachii?!" 
"Hehehe. It seems that you have your own long list of things that you still don't understand, Shou." 
Was that really the problem here? Personally, I was more curious as to how she'd gotten in considering that the door hadn't been opened at any point. 
There was also the fact that she was wearing clothes. And not just any clothes, but a pyjama styled after a lion, its hood forming a mouth which chewed on her head. 
Quickly, the girl shifted her attention away from Shimamura's sister and towards me. Her glimmer mixed with the vapour spreading through the room, painting everything behind her in a pale shade of turquoise. There was something about its appearance which made it seem like the very core of my body would be left feeling refreshed were I to breathe it in. 
Of course, in reality, I knew that wasn't the case; despite its colour, we were ultimately talking about mere vapour here. 
"So, happily ever after?" the girl asked again, repeating her question from earlier. This time, it came aimed at me. 
I hardly felt like we'd reached a conclusion where such a statement was appropriate, a true ending if you will. If anything, I'd say that nothing had even begun yet. 
The eyes of the girl, almost transparent as if containing no impurities, gave a glimpse at something profound. It really was like for a moment, all of her youthfulness had been stripped away. No bottom could be sensed in her gaze, no walls. Staring into her eyes was the same as staring into space itself. 
A shaky, unsteady voice escaped my mouth. 
"Probably, yeah." 
That was what I thought to myself, that this was good. 
This was good. 
"I'm glad to hear", the girl nodded. She then followed her statement with an innocent laugh, almost as if all of the wisdom she'd shown mere moments earlier had vanished, melted away. "Now, if you'd excuse me." 
"Ah, Yachii. Wait. Since you're here already, get into the bath." 
"Nope!" 
With her hands held out in front of her, the girl began making a run for it. While it was still a mystery to me how she'd gotten in, it appeared that for her exit, she was going to be using the door like normal. 
"Wait!" Shimamura's sister yelled before leaping out from the tub. Her stiffness from earlier, her shell, had now been discarded, revealing that beneath it all, she did possess the capability to act appropriate for her age. 
"Caught you!" 
"Eek! What are you doing, Shou!?" 
The high-pitched voices of the two frolicking girls filled the room as they clung onto each other. Their friendly relationship brought to mind that of Hino and Nagafuji, and as I stared at them, one thing became very clear to me. 
This was what it meant to be close to someone. 
So then, what about my efforts so far? Had they been fruitless? Had there been no point to what I'd done? 
No, that wasn't the case. I really did think so. And yet, my mind continued to race. 
Resting my head against the corner of the bathtub, I turned my eyes towards the ceiling, distancing myself from everything that was happening. 
Softly, both my ears and eyes grew soaked with something fuzzy. 
"It's..." 
It's so warm. 
I was starting to feel dizzy from staying in the water for too long. 

The spinning sound of the fan's blades enveloped my head as I lay there, my eyes closed. 
I was currently resting my body on the floor of the room I'd been given upstairs. 
My skin felt hot, almost as if it had swollen. The warmth of the bath still lingered with me. 
I wonder, was Shimamura's sister okay? I suppose she couldn't be too badly affected considering that she'd stayed behind to play with the blue girl. 
That girl, she sure was energetic, wasn't she? That was the one thing that had come to my mind as I stared at her. 
While I might still very much have been a child in the eyes of adults, as far as I was concerned, an eternity had passed since I was her age. 
Putting it that way, I'd come a pretty long way, hadn't I? 
Someone then knocked on the door. Instantly, my feet grew stiff in anticipation. 
"I'm coming in." 
As if answering my wishes, the person who appeared turned out to be none other than Shimamura herself. I quickly opened my eyes and turned around to look at her. 
She'd already changed into her pyjamas, and in her hand, she held a pillow wrapped in a towel. 
"I brought you an ice pillow." 
"Oh, thanks." 
A second passed, after which Shimamura's mouth twisted into a grin. It almost looked like she'd come up with a joke or something. A joke at my expense, to be precise. 
"An ice pillow or my lap, which would you prefer resting your head on?" 
"Your lap!" I shouted without the slightest bit of hesitation. Hook, line, and sinker. 
Shimamura took a small step backwards, appearing quite bewildered by both my answer as well as the intensity at which it'd come out from my mouth. The surface of the ice pillow waved as she squeezed it slightly. 
"Personally, I think the ice pillow might be nicer." 
"No, it's fine. Really. I'm totally fine now", I repeated, all the while shaking my hand in front of me as if to emphasize my point. Oh, but wait; if I was doing fine, did that mean I had no need for her lap either? 
"It is pretty harsh. But, Shimamura, if you could..." 
Was I being too persistent? Was she going to find that odd? Then again, the appropriate time for such worries had likely long since passed. 
Shimamura almost certainly saw me as a weirdo. 
Possibly just as weird as that girl and her strange-coloured hair. Really, it was only after calming down a little that I realised just what I'd done. 
Smiling in a manner which made it seem like she was hiding her true expression, Shimamura sat down in front of the fan. She then grabbed my head and pulled it close to her. I offered no resistance, simply allowing her to do as she pleased, and soon, I found my head planted firmly against her thighs. They were so soft, so gentle. I could feel wave after wave of heat run across my scalp. 
To be completely honest, I did get the impression that all this extra stimulus likely had an overall negative effect on my well-being. Or rather, I knew that for a fact. 
It felt like the surface of my brain was covered in tiny, tiny pores, all of which had opened at once. 
There was a real possibility that, had Shimamura not placed the ice pillow on top of my head, my internal temperature would have just kept rising and rising, ultimately causing me to explode. Thankfully, she had. As a result, I now lay there sandwiched between the pillows, unable to see anything but what was directly in front of me as the rest of my field of vision had been blocked off. This whole situation, it was kinda luxurious, wasn't it? I found my feet drawing tiny circles in the air as I thought about that. 
Were this to be my reward for merely taking a bath, there would never come another day where my skin was anything but swollen. 
"Does it feel good?" 
"Yea." 
The weight of the ice pillow made it slightly difficult for me to speak, resulting in my voice coming out muffled. 
The other explanation was that I was trying my absolute hardest to press my face as tightly against Shimamura's thighs as possible, but obviously, that couldn't be the case. Of course not. 
It just looked that way because of the ice pillow. 
"I might be misremembering things, but weren't you saying just the other day that you'd gotten good at dealing with the heat?" 
Yes, that was something I had carelessly blurted out on the phone. While I didn't know why exactly she was asking me this now, I could only imagine that her intentions were far from good. As such, I concluded that it might be for the best if I pretended like I hadn't heard her talk at all. 
I groaned something vague into her direction, acting like that wasn't the case, only for Shimamura to ignore me instead and follow her question up with a statement which made little sense to me. 
"I suppose that's impossible for a statue made of ice." 
A million questions flooded my mind all at once, making it impossible for me to disregard her this time. 
"What are you talking about?" 
Seriously, what was this? 
"Huh? You don't know? Well, I guess that makes sense. It's not really something you call yourself." 
"Call myself what? What is this about?" 
"Well, sometime ago in school, a girl... who was she again... Sancho? Pancho? One of those two. Anyway, a girl you went to middle school with told me that people used to call you that there, an ice statue." 
"I..." 
I could neither confirm nor deny that. I'd barely talked to anyone during my time in middle school, after all. Regardless, that was the nickname I'd been given, huh? How strange. Why ice? Was I really that cold? 
"Looking at you now, I'm not sure if ice is the best description. I might go with... Hmm..." 
Shimamura didn't finish her sentence, instead choosing to cut her words short. I was able to tell based on the aura surrounding her that she was having difficulty deciding what to say next. 
"You might go with what?" 
"Oh, no. Never mind." 
Ahaha, she quickly added. Why was it that her laugh sounded so dry? I wanted to ask her that. I wanted to... cry. 
A statue of ice, what was that supposed to mean? The thought alone made me kinda embarrassed. 
I had a feeling that this would be bothering me for a long, long time. 
As I sat there, writhing with my mouth closed shut, Shimamura at last changed the topic. 
"If I'm being totally honest, I much prefer to be the one resting my head on your lap, Adachi." 
"Well, that... That makes sense." 
Was this a form of praise? A request, perhaps? Examining the context, I slowly arrived at a conclusion. It wasn't the case that Shimamura enjoyed my thighs for any particular reason. Rather, she simply wanted to relax, slack off as she had a tendency to do. Now that I thought about it some more, it'd been during the winter season that she last placed her head on my lap, hadn't it? 
I wonder, what was the name of that emotion I'd felt while staring down at her face as she slept, her eyes closed softly? 
It seemed like it should be easy to figure out. Trivial, even. And yet, even now, I was still searching for it. 
"So, you wanted to take a bath with my sister, huh?" Shimamura asked me out of the blue. Instantly, my eyes shot open. 
Yeah, I nodded back, only to realise half a second later that she might get the wrong idea. 
"Oh, but, it wasn't the bath itself that's important. I wanted to get on better terms with her." 
The bath's important only with you, Shimamura. I was able to stop myself in time and not say that last part out loud. Thankfully. 
"Did you manage to?" 
"Yeah. A little bit. Probably..." 
If I had to estimate, I'd probably say that I was around one millionth of the way there. 
As things continued piling up, the value of a single step, its meaning and weight, they all faded into nothingness. 
The more you accomplished, the less your accomplishments mattered. It was kinda ridiculous, wasn't it? 
"Hmph." 
Moving her hand, Shimamura rocked the pillow from side to side, causing my head to move as well. 
I could feel with my cheek as something swam around within the towel. While originally meant to cool me off, it appeared that my heat was such that the ice would instead be the one to melt down. 
"Anyway, I do think she quite likes you, Adachi." 
My chest immediately squeezed tight. So did my throat. Honestly, it was a miracle that I managed to stop myself from making some weirdo noise. 
"...! ...! ......" 
A second later, I realised that I'd misheard her: Shimamura wasn't talking about herself, but rather, about her sister. 
Was this it, was this the definition of disappointment? It certainly felt that way to me. 
"Oh, no, I'm not sure about that." 
"Hmm. I'm sure that I already mentioned this, but my sister's super afraid of new people. I can't imagine her being willing to take a bath with someone she's not bonded with." 
"Yes, but..." 
I didn't quite know how to reply to her. In a lot of ways, it felt similar to when I was too tired to talk. 
I had to imagine that the girl's motives were more complex than her simply having taken a liking to me. 
It was very much possible that the reason why she'd agreed to my proposal was because she wished to check for herself what sort of a person this friend of her big sister's was. If so, then I had to wonder, what was the verdict she'd reached? Did she see me as an insect who clung onto her sister? 
Were someone so young to call me annoying and compare me to a fly, I don't think I'd ever be able to recover. 
"I feel like it's something she thought a lot about." 
"Really?" Shimamura reacted at first, sounding almost like she doubted my statement. However, after a short pause, she continued in a different tone of voice: "Hmm, yeah, I suppose that might be." 
"I mean, there are probably lots of things that I don't understand, that only you can see, Adachi." 
There were, yes. Her many wonderful qualities, for example. The kind expressions often seen on her face. 
All those were things she likely couldn't sense for herself. Of course not; very little of what I thought and felt was in any way connected to Shimamura. How nice would it be if that were ever to change—if one day, we would become able to see the world the same way. 
Between the two pillows, I watched as the fan continued to spin. 
"After all, despite how you are normally, even you can act like an adult at times." 
How was I normally in her eyes? What did she mean by that? While the vagueness of that comment did concern me a little, what really had me interested was the second half of her statement. 
Me, acting like an adult. What part of me? 
The part where I worried myself sick over other people? 
"Say, Adachi. Do you have plans for the future? What are you gonna do when you grow up?" Shimamura asked me randomly. Well, not really "randomly"; I suppose it had to do with the fact that we were just talking about adults. 
Anyway, I decided to reply with the first thing that came to mind. I hardly imagined that she was expecting some super deep and philosophical answer or anything like that. 
"When I grow up... Work, I guess?" 
A pretty dry reply, even if I do say so myself. I did have some other thoughts as well, although as those were ones created by the influence of Shimamura's lap and just outright ridiculous, I couldn't exactly recite them out loud. 
"Well, yeah, obviously. I was more thinking, what sort of work will you do? What sort of adult will you be? You know, stuff like that. It's a lot to think about. Lots of stuff." 
Shimamura kept on talking, the words rolling off her tongue like water. Rather than wanting anyone to answer her, it sounded more like she was asking these questions of herself. 
What sort of adult would I be? While I wasn't particularly anxious regarding the future, I also hadn't thought about it to any real extent. After all, I already had my hands full dealing with the present. Dealing with the present Shimamura. Dealing with her. You might not have expected being sandwiched between two pillows to have such an effect, but it seriously felt like parts of my brain were starting to turn off. 
There was only one wish, one very simple wish the current me had for the future. 
I wanted to be with Shimamura, even when we were adults. 
Yes, it did seem like something born in the heart of a child, but that truly was how I felt. 
"So, feeling any cooler?" 
"A little..." 
That statement was partly a lie. Specifically, while the half of my face which was pressed against the ice pillow was so cold that I could feel my skin tightening up, the other half, the one clinging to her lap, that was burning hot. The purpose of the lie was to allow me to stay like this for just a little bit longer. 
"Hmm, yeah. I guess the ice is not really doing much." 
"Huh?" 
Having said that, Shimamura pulled the ice pillow away from my face. I put up no resistance, prompting her to then remove her legs from underneath my head and stand up. It was only when I rolled onto the floor that I realised my mistake. 
Dammit. 
As I lay there, wallowing in an ocean of regret that I wasn't quite able to put into words, I could see in the corner of my eye the image of Shimamura staring out through the window. 
"Hmm... What about outside? It'd probably be cooler there than here." 
Shall we go? she added. Still not fully past my earlier blunder, I lifted my head and asked her the following: 
"Outside?" 
"Yeah. On the veranda. Or more accurately, where we dry our laundry." 
I slowly got up myself, walked next to her, and took a look outside. What I saw on the other side of the window was the veranda she was talking about. Funny how I'd never noticed that before. It didn't seem like there was much room there, though. I got the impression that, were we both to stand on it, we wouldn't even be able pass by one another. 
That was exactly what we proceeded to do, go to the veranda and stand side by side. The air felt both heavy and languid, just like how it had inside. If I'm being perfectly honest with you, I could barely tell a difference. 
We waited and waited, but no gust of wind came to wipe the warmth away. 
"Hmm, it's not really cool here either, huh?" 
"No." 
"Shall we go back?" 
I didn't answer her question with words, instead choosing to shake my head while grabbing her hand. Well, "grab" might have been bit of an overstatement. Rather, I took it calmly. That's right, I was relatively calm right now. Why wouldn't I be? It was just the two of us here, after all, Shimamura and I. Anyway, my heart began to pound as I slowly squeezed her fingertips. 
After a short pause, Shimamura readjusted her hand before gripping mine back. 
I could feel the half of my face which had been cool just moments earlier now growing hot. 
I stared directly forward, observing the scenery before us. 
What I saw was a section of a very mundane residential area. 
Tracing with my eyes the various rooftops and red street lights which floated in the darkness of the night, I couldn't help but feel like I was staring into outer space, or perhaps the depths of the ocean. The thick darkness filled every gap, every crevice of the town. And yet, as I turned my gaze towards the clouds slowly drifting through the night sky, I saw it, saw the glimmer which pulled us towards it. 
The lamps of the tall buildings, the flickering lights of the steel towers. And, above all those, the glow of the moon. 
This was what the night displayed to us. 
We stood there, taking in the atmosphere, showing no signs of growing tired of it. 
The way the clouds were stacked on top of one other, I felt them to be so beautiful. 
Shimamura, too. 
For this short duration, we were seeing the world the same way. 
Still holding hands, we took some distance between us, as if spreading out our wings. 
There, in the windless night, my mind raced as I wondered, what would be a good name to call our relationship by?