Chapter 3 – Words Most Mundane
Still, what if I was wrong?
I wanted Shimamura to only ever look at me. That was the desire resounding in my heart which had led to us going out. However, as of late, I had begun ever so slightly questioning whether or not that really was a reasonable thing to ask of her. That firm smile of hers, it caused ripples to be created in my heart. I wanted her to smile at me. I wanted her to smile more gently. Actually, no; she was definitely always gentle. What I mean more was that from time to time, her expression had a tendency to grow awfully stiff. No, no. That didn't sound quite right either... Regardless.
Did there exist something that she'd prefer to be doing in favour of continuing to gaze at what was most precious to her?
Of course not. There couldn't be. As long as we were talking about what was truly the most precious to her, then that something could not, by definition, exist.
I was her girlfriend.
Her girlfriend...
While I was busy being lost in thought, our teacher at last finished talking.
She then proceeded to write the following words on the blackboard behind her in giant letters.
"A school trip, huh?"
Apparently, that was something that was going to be happening next month. I'd had no idea. Not until now, that was.
I'm not lying when I say that I have no recollection of the school trips we'd gone on in elementary and middle school. What had been our destination? Where had we gone? I couldn't remember even that. My only memory was that, for the entire time we were there, I'd wanted to be back home as soon as possible. However, this time, I felt like things might play out a bit differently.
This was not any old school trip, but rather, a school trip with Shimamura. Thinking about it that way brought with it a whole different level of excitement.
It sure was nice, going somewhere distant. Hmm... One day, I'd like to go somewhere with just Shimamura and I. It would be our real trip together.
Speaking of Shimamura, I soon met eyes with her. There was still some more time left till the next lesson, and weaving through our classmates as they came and went, I caught her staring my way. Making sure to do it in a way that didn't stand out, she then lifted her hand and waved at me.
While this act might seem trivial for some, for me, it was enough to cause my heart to pound in my chest.
I went ahead and waved back at her, all the while trying my hardest to keep myself in check.
Ever since the start of the second school term, it had become a common occurrence for me to find myself unable to think of anything but Shimamura. Sometimes, this even happened during class. So, just like usual then, huh? Well, yes. Except much more frequent. At all times, there was something gorgeous dazzling before my eyes, almost as if I was viewing a flower that had just come to bloom.
It really felt like at any point, I might end up humming out loud were I not constantly on alert. In fact, I actually did that one time at home, earning a curious look from my mom who'd just been passing me by. She asked me if I was in a particularly good mood, to which I responded that I wasn't. While an obvious lie, it did the trick and let me avoid having to talk with her. Well, I say that, but I did feel slight regret afterwards. Maybe I should've thought more about my reply. Maybe I should've actually tried talking with her.
Of course, saying that in retrospect and actually doing it in the moment were two completely different stories; because Mom spoke to me so rarely, I'd been caught completely off-guard when she actually did so.
Not that I was complaining. Were she as carefree in the way she approached me as, say, Shimamura's mother for example, that would definitely be troublesome in its own way.
Shimamura truly resembled her mother in more ways than one. Not only did she quite look like her, they also shared a few key aspects as far as their personalities were concerned. As for what those were, well, it's difficult to put into words, but if I had to try, I'd say that... they both felt slightly dispassionate behind their cheery exteriors? Or something? Like I said, difficult stuff.
The lesson soon came to an end, and I couldn't for the life of me remember a single thing that we'd been taught. I'd been that busy trying to make sense of the thoughts filling my head. Regardless, the lunch break came next, and quickly, I headed over to where Shimamura sat—with my bag in hand. Clearing away her pens and papers, she welcomed me.
Ever since the start of the second school term, we'd been eating lunch together every single day.
In case you were curious, I was once again having okonomiyaki. I still had six whole boxes of it left.
The meal cooked by Shimamura that I was so eagerly waiting for was sadly on hold till I finished these.
"I just mean, it feels like such a waste."
Regardless, this hardly felt like a situation where it was appropriate for me to act selfish and try to force my will through, not least because she was willing to eat the okonomiyaki with me to help me get through it faster.
I spread the Tupperware container open on her desk, and so, Shimamura and I began having lunch. While I had made sure to reheat the okonomiyaki before leaving for school, enough time had passed that it was now cold. And yet, Shimamura didn't complain. She didn't even look like she minded. No, she just kept on munching.
"Of course I don't mind. Why? Because you're the one who made it, Adachi."
Or something...
She didn't actually say that. Sadly. As embarrassing as it was to admit, I kinda wished she would have.
While we were eating, I found my eyes focusing on her lips.
Those were the same lips she had pressed against my forehead the other day.
I'd been too dizzy in the moment to accurately recall every last detail, and yet, I knew for a fact that it had happened. I was sure of it.
Why was I so sure? Because I remembered the sensation. It was so warm, so soothing, almost as if bubbles made of hot air had been blown across my face.
More importantly, she'd told me that she wouldn't do something like that with anyone else. I was the only one. There was nothing that could've made me happier than those words coming from her mouth.
Even so, it was hardly the only thing worth mentioning. There was the angle at which she had done it, too. And also how it had felt in general.
Having her embrace me in that way, it really made me feel like I was hers. Like we'd placed our feet on the tall staircase before us and started climbing it. Wait, no... What was I even talking about? While I wasn't quite sure myself, for some reason, that was the impression I was getting.
I kinda wanted to do it again. I was determined that this time, I would do whatever it took to make sure that a memory of it remained in my mind.
Thinking about that, I once again found my eyes focusing on her mouth.
"Hmm? Is something wrong?" Shimamura asked me, having noticed that I was staring at her.
"No, no. It's nothing", I quickly blurted out, all the while shaking both my head and my chopsticks from side to side. Obviously, that was a lie. This was very much something.
How did Shimamura choose to interpret my words? Did she see right through them? Her reply consisting solely of an "Alright then" followed by a smirk didn't exactly tell me much.
"Here. Say 'aaah'."
Using her chopsticks, she cut off a piece of the okonomiyaki and held it out in my direction.
The smile on her face was slightly mean-spirited, almost as if her goal here was simply to mess around with me.
Huh? What? What was going on?
Was it really okay for us to do something like that in the classroom? Nervously, I scanned our surroundings.
It didn't feel like anyone was looking at us. At the same time, it wasn't difficult to imagine that they all might have been. This was all to say that I couldn't see anything.
My eyes spinning, I did what I was told and opened my mouth.
Her placing the piece of okonomiyaki on my tongue was accompanied by the slightest bit of pain as the tips of the chopsticks poked me.
That was something that had happened.
It had, and yet, I should do my best to not get too carried away regardless. That was what I thought to myself as I lay there on my bed, reminiscing about the events that had taken place earlier that day. I'd screwed up majorly that one time while talking with her on the phone, and the last thing I wanted was to end up repeating my mistakes. Seriously, I needed to do everything in my power to avoid ending up like that again.
"I can't let it happen. I can't."
I went ahead and gave my cheeks—currently painted red by the memories—a few slaps to force myself to calm down.
The fact that I had managed to keep my cool at the bicycle parking spot despite nearly losing it was a clear sign that I was making progress. Probably, at least.
I leapt up and clenched my fists.
"Still..."
This was followed by me quickly falling to my side, almost as if I was withering away. I knew I had been in the wrong. I knew that there was no possible way to justify my outburst.
And yet, I couldn't help but wonder, who was that girl she had attended the summer festival with?
Regardless of what Shimamura said to me, regardless of how many times she told me that everything was fine, it really did bother me still. A lot.
I knew this was something I would have to overcome or else I would never be able to relax.
If I had to guess, I'd say that it was likely the same person who had called her the other day. In other words, Shimamura had a friend that I didn't know about. Fair enough, I suppose. I guess that only made sense. And yet. And yet... Holding my head in my hands, I found myself rolling back and forth on my bed.
The fact that there were aspects to her that I didn't know of scared me. It scared me senseless.
I wanted to love her in the entirety.
The only way that was possible was if I knew everything there was to know about her. As such, it was what I had to do.
That was what living meant for me.
At the same time, it did seem like pressing her on it too hard might run the risk of Shimamura starting to dislike me. Hmm... Trying to figure out where to draw the line was going to be a difficult balancing act, and not least because I knew it'd be tough for me to resist the urge to go all in. I found myself rolling back and forth on my bed as I thought about that. It was almost as if sparks were raining on me from the sky and I was trying to put them out.
I spent the next few moments like that, doing my best to combat the worldly desires that filled my mind, pushing back all the greed and want.
It was only after I'd made sure that these emotions had been shoved deep inside my chest where they belonged that I got up.
All the rolling around had left my hair looking like an absolute mess.
"Alright. Now, I want to see Shimamura."
Maintaining a slow yet steady approach was important when it came to fulfilling wishes.
With that in mind, I went ahead and grabbed my phone to call her.
All this to fill up even just one of the many holes inside me.
"Yes, hello? What is it?"
There was something about the way she spoke here that made it sound like she was already in bed. I wasn't sure why, but lately, I'd started being able to pick up on stuff like that.
Was it the case that I now understood Shimamura better than I had before? Thinking about it that way, I couldn't help but feel a bit proud of myself.
"Err... Next Sunday..."
"What about it?"
"Let's go on a d-d-date!"
"A d-d-date? What's that?"
I was so nervous that I accidentally ended up adding extra letters to it.
"Just remove the first two, please..."
"Ahaha. Aren't you modest, Adachi", Shimamura teased me before getting back on topic: "Anyway, next Sunday, huh? Sure, got it."
"O-Okay."
"Still, is there a reason you felt like you needed to call me? Couldn't you have just asked me tomorrow at school?"
It was only when she pointed it out that I realized how strange it was myself.
I didn't have a specific reason for it. It was simply what I had wanted to do.
"That'd be because... Because I came up with it just now."
"Hmm... Right. I see. That's a pretty good reason, I think."
"Y-You do?"
While I didn't exactly understand what she meant, I was never going to complain about having Shimamura praise me.
"So then, where would you like to go?"
"Where...?"
Where?
What place was it that would lead to her kissing me on the forehead again?
Where?
"Hey, Adachi? Where are you staring?"
Where?
"Can you hear me? Hello?"
Where. That was the question I asked myself repeatedly as I sat there holding my head in my hands, my elbows propped up against the desk. No bits of wisdom appeared into my mind despite my best attempts at squeezing them out. I'd spent the entire day thinking about this, and yet, the only thing I was left with by the end of it was an intense headache. My ears rang and I also felt nauseous, so nauseous that I could throw up any second now. This might straight-up be the first time in my life that I had thought this hard about something.
Laying there over my desk, I'd thought about taking a quick break to calm myself down, but before I knew it, I had ended up getting lost in thought all over again.
Did such a place truly even exist? A forehead cafe? No, definitely not a thing. Forehead cinema? That sounded kinda boring. What about a forehead shop? What would they even sell there? It appeared that it simply wasn't possible to make the date forehead themed. At times like these, my only saving grace was that Shimamura was the taller one of us two. Wait... That wasn't true. I was definitely taller than her. While the fact that she was constantly patting my head might give you the opposite impression, I was the bigger one, not her.
A place where I would have to lean over... Hmm... Where could I find one of those? If that was out of the question, then what about somewhere Shimamura would need to stand on her tiptoes? While that did sound very convenient, I had to wonder, did such a place even exist? The more I thought about it, the more I started feeling like I was approaching the situation the wrong way.
If an opportunity was not going to present itself to me, then I would simply have to create one. I would do so using my own strength, my own two hands.
That being said, what if I just went straight to the point and asked her to kiss me on the forehead again? Would that be okay? I reached for my phone. Wait, but... That wasn't weird, was it? It didn't make me sound like a weirdo? While it was true that I did act strange at the best of times, I also felt like that was something I needed to work towards fixing, not embrace. Hmm... Yeah, I probably shouldn't ask her that. Of course, if I didn't, then I'd need to keep looking for a location for our date. What was the right thing to do here? My brain was working overtime trying to answer that question. Anyway, let's just call her. Yeah.
Lately, I'd started finding that what I wanted the most after coming home from school was to hear her voice.
It honestly felt like all this was simply me looking for a reason to call her.
Shimamura would pick up whether I had a reason to call her or not. That wasn't the problem. No, I simply didn't want us to end up without anything to talk about.
I'd never been one for small talk. I was so incredibly inexperienced when it came to all that stuff, and as time went on, I was really starting to hate it. How I wished that I would have interacted with more people in my life. At the same time, had that been the path I'd chosen, I was unsure if I would have ever ended up meeting Shimamura.
For better or worse, it was my past decisions which had led to us where we were right now.
"Yes, hello?"
I pressed the call button, and only a few moments later, Shimamura picked up.
"Ah. Good evening..."
"I feel like lately, all I ever do is talk with you on the phone."
"You do?"
Though I knew exactly what she meant, I decided to pretend like I didn't.
"Not that I really mind. So then, what is it today?"
"I actually have something I'd like to ask you."
"Hmm? Sure. Go ahead."
I took a deep breath before opening my mouth.
"Where... date... forehead...?"
"I can't hear you."
"Err... Umm..."
"Now I can't make any sense of you."
Where could we go for our date that would get you in a mood to kiss me on the forehead?
That's what I meant to ask her. However, it's not quite how it ended up coming out.
Let's just skip over this part. I don't want to think about it any more than necessary.
"Huh?" Shimamura exclaimed loudly, letting me know that she was very much confused. "That's a little... Sorry. Give me a second."
I honestly couldn't recall her ever having been this taken aback by anything that had happened. Not that I could really blame her.
Looking back to it, even I wasn't able to make sense of what I was saying. And yet, without a doubt, this was the same conclusion I had arrived at after all that time spent thinking about it.
What a mystery, seriously. What was going on in my head? What was wrong with me?
"In other words, you want me to kiss you on the forehead?"
"Yes..."
And so, I ultimately ended up asking her directly.
"Really? In that case, you should have just asked me and I would've... Ah."
"Huh? You would?"
The way I immediately latched onto her statement kinda made it seem like I was trying to pin Shimamura down and force her commit to something she likely hadn't meant.
"Hmm. Actually, no. I don't think I will."
"Huh!?"
"I have a feeling that you'll get me in the mood for it during our date. Yeah."
The tone of her voice here sounded more than a bit mean-spirited. It was obvious to anyone that she was messing around with me. Quickly, feelings of frustration flooded my mind.
"But, I... I don't think I can. That's why I called you and..."
"No, no. I'm sure you have it in you. Good luck", Shimamura stopped me mid-sentence to offer me her encouragement. In response, I found myself crossing my arms. "Frustrated" really was the best word to describe how I felt.
At the same time, it wasn't the case that I could just keep asking her for stuff. There eventually came a time when I'd need to be the one taking action. With that in mind, I decided to give it my best shot.
Regardless of the situation, if Shimamura was encouraging me to do something, then I wanted to meet her expectations.
Having ended the call, I went ahead and scrolled through my call history just to see what it looked like. There was only a single name anywhere to be seen. "Shimamura".
It was only when witnessing the sheer length of the list that it dawned to me that talking with her on the phone really was the only thing I did these days.
"Ehe. Hehehe."
This was no time to be laughing. I quickly opened my calendar.
There were six more days till Sunday. That was to say, I was so incredibly impatient that I was making Sunday's plans on Monday.
And yet, despite that, it wasn't the case that I had time to spare. Not in the slightest.
What should I do? What should I do? What was I going to do?
"Hmm... What if I smear cream on my forehead? Would that work?"
These idiotic thoughts only led me to once again realise what a moron I was. Intense despair rushing through my mind, I went ahead and hid my face behind my hand. And yet, even as I was doing that, the second hand of the clock just kept on ticking along. It was neither to my benefit nor to my detriment. No, it just happened.
Time never showed any hesitation.
School had just come to an end. Trying my hardest to resist the temptation to leap over to where Shimamura was, I nervously exited the classroom. I turned to look behind me, only to find Shimamura staring my way. My eyes wide open, I waved at her. She waved at me back. It was so difficult not to turn around. And yet, I did it anyway. I forced myself to walk through the door and began heading towards the bookstore.
I obviously wasn't expecting to come across a magazine with clear instructions as to how you should go about preparing a date that would earn you a kiss on the forehead. Of course not. Rather, it was my goal to find anything at all that could be used as reference. I hadn't even decided where we were going, and so that was also something I'd have to think about. It'd be pretty boring if we just went to the mall every single time. Then again, given where we lived, it wasn't like we had all that many choices available to us.
I was getting more nervous with each passing second. That being said, it was quite nice actually having a clear objective to work towards for once. Whereas normally, my feet were practically moving by themselves, I could now clearly feel their weight. There was a certain indescribable sense of satisfaction that came with shaking that feeling off and forcing myself to move forward. It really felt like I was somehow connected to my bike.
It took me crossing a single bridge to get to the bookstore. The store was one that had been there for as long as I could remember, its front wall painted in a colour that brought to mind the image of bricks. There'd been a time in the past when the parking lot used to be always full of cars, but that wasn't really the case anymore. It appeared that they lost a lot of their customers after they made a rule against browsing without buying. On a side note, the large establishment next door that used to sell games and CDs and stuff had also closed down at some point and was now replaced by a pharmacy.
I entered the store and immediately started looking through the first floor. Why the first floor? Well, on the second floor they sold stuff like textbooks and manga and also writing utensils, and I didn't really have need for any of those. Not at the moment. In any case, it really had been a while since I'd last been here. I didn't read that much, and I also didn't study hard enough where it was necessary for me to replace my pens all that often. Now, back on topic. Was I really going to find magazines that were openly focused on dating on sale here? Did such brazen things even exist?
As it turned out, they most certainly did.
My cheeks were already starting to grow red, and I hadn't even picked the magazine up yet.
It ended up taking me only a few moments to find what I was looking for. Not that they were exactly hidden or anything like that. If anything, I'd say that they were placed in the most conspicuous location possible. Nervously, I took one of the magazines. Girlfriend edition. Would this one do? I was a girl, and so, I guess it fit. What about Shimamura though? What sort of a date would she prefer?
While my own goals were important, I did want Shimamura to feel like it had been worth it for her to come as well.
"Ohh."
The sudden voice I heard behind me completely caught me off-guard. My mind was nearly wiped blank.
My heart pounding like crazy, I turned around, only to be shocked once more. Why? Because the face of the person who had spoken was right next to mine.
The way she squinted at me gave me the impression that she was having trouble seeing.
"I knew it. It is you, Chi-Chi."
She put on her glasses to confirm. But why? Why didn't she put them on before approaching me?
"Oh... Nagafuji."
Did I sound rude saying it like that? We weren't particularly close, nor were we classmates anymore. At the same time, it was also hardly the case that we didn't know one another. And yet, for some reason, I found it really difficult to feel close to any of the people I knew with the sole exception of Shimamura.
Nagafuji appeared to think little of the way I had approached her. Instead, her eyes were focused on the magazine in my hand. Oh, crap. Lines of cold sweat began dripping down my back. This was going to let her see right through me. Through me?
"A date?"
"Err, that's... Anyway. Where's Hino?"
"She said she had some things to take care of back home so she left already. I don't have anything like that, so I'm still here."
A hint of pride could be heard in her voice. But why? All she was saying was that she had some free time. It was hardly that impressive.
Moreover, I also wondered how she'd gotten here before me. I'd come straight from school, and I had a bike. Hmm... Mysterious.
"Just so you know, I also have no business with you, Chi-Chi."
"Oh, okay..."
What a weirdo, seriously. But, wait... She could be a good person to ask, couldn't she?
She and Hino did get along quite nicely. Kissing one another on the forehead definitely seemed like something they could do. Maybe they already did do it?
With no one else available for me to ask for advice, I decided to view this as some sort of fate.
I made sure to point at the magazine I was holding before stating the following:
"I have something I want to ask. But, it has nothing to do with this, okay?"
Did going out of my way to make that clear actually cause what I was about to say sound less suspicious, or did it have the exact opposite effect? I didn't really know. Regardless.
"Hmm. Unrelated, huh? Sure, okay."
She sure was quick to agree. But why? The expression on her face was one that made it impossible to tell whether she was serious or not.
Unlike Shimamura, she offered nothing to grasp onto.
"Right. Unrelated. Now then, umm..."
"Yeah. Shimamura. What about her?"
I hadn't even gotten to that part yet.
"Let's say I had... err... a request? A thing I wanted to ask her? Something like that. What would be a good way to... to make... to make the mood right for it. To ask her. Or something..."
As it turned out, trying to ask for advice while simultaneously keeping the subject matter ambiguous was really difficult. I ended up taking so many detours that I almost flew right off track and into the distance. I could feel lines of sweat dripping down my forehead.
"Hmm, yeah, I think I get what you mean. In other words, you want to have a showdown with her."
"Huh? A showdown? But, why?"
I'd yet to finish explaining, and already, Nagafuji had drawn a conclusion. An incorrect one at that, it seemed.
"No mistaking it. Nuh-uh", she added. How was she so sure? She probably didn't even have a clue what was going on. Rather than just being confident, the impression I got off her was that she simply didn't think. "And what you're asking me is how you can triumph over her. Yeah, I get it."
Nagafuji followed this by nodding her head. She didn't get it. She didn't get it at all.
"That's not really what... Actually, no. Sure. Let's say that's what it is."
"Yep."
While not exactly the situation at hand, it should lead me to the same conclusion I was after. Probably. Now then, there was just one more question left to answer. What exactly did she mean by a "showdown"?
"I do have a recommendation for taking Shimamura down."
"Umm, sure...Tell me."
"Challenge her using the boomerang. That's what you should do."
At first, I had no idea what she'd just said to me.
A boomerang? What?
"...Why?"
"Because, it's unlikely that she has practised using one. All you have to do is learn the basics and you'll best her no problem."
"You want me to throw it at her?"
"Good children mustn't aim at people."
This statement was followed by Nagafuji spinning her arms in the air. She then pulled them to a halt with her fingers pointed at me.
"But, Chi-Chi. If I remember right, you're a delinquent, correct?"
"No, err... I'm not. Not anymore."
Not that I'd ever decided to become one. At some point, people had just started treating me like that.
"I guess you can't throw them at people then... But, that's not the only thing boomerangs are good for. You can use them for all sorts of different matches and contests, too."
"Umm, thanks, but this explanation really isn't necessary. I'm... I'm not interested."
"Let's go buy one", Nagafuji stated before grabbing my hand without a warning. While she did almost manage to drag me with her, I was ultimately able to plant my feet on the ground and force her to stop.
"I do already own a boomerang..."
I was of course talking about the one Shimamura had bought me. It still sat on my shelf as a trophy having never been used.
"Oh, really?"
A certain sparkle could be seen in Nagafuji's eyes as she asked me this.
"You're into this stuff, Chi-Chi?"
"No, not at all."
I shook my head sideways. As I did, Nagafuji's eyes also moved from left to right. She then paused for a moment before stating the following:
"A boomerang is what you need to best Shimamura! Why do I say that? Because, I'm going to train you."
"Huh? Train me?"
"You want to defeat her, yes? If so, then you'll need to train. Just makes sense."
What on earth was she talking about?
Whereas my mind was full of questions, it appeared that Nagafuji had already made up hers.
"Now then, let's get started. It's time to train."
"Err... Sure, I guess."
"Let's get our stuff and then meet at the park over there. You know it? You know the location? Good. Now, let's go get our boomerangs."
Something was wrong here. Something was definitely wrong. And yet, as Nagafuji wouldn't hear objections, I ended up being dragged along against my will.
A touch of discomfort burning in my chest, I parted ways with her for now.
So... A boomerang, huh?
What the heck?
Also, I just realised this, but she'd called me "Chi-Chi" the whole time. Could it be that she didn't remember my real name?
I wouldn't even be surprised.
"You made it, Chi-Chi."
This confirmed it beyond a shadow of a doubt; she'd definitely forgotten my name.
Whereas I was still wearing my school uniform, Nagafuji had gone out of her way to change her clothes. She had a shirt on with the word "Master" written on it.
"......"
I decided that it'd be for the best to feign ignorance for the time being.
We were the only people there at the park located next to the... shopping mall? I'm not quite sure what to call this. It was more of an amalgamation of different shopping facilities built over a strangely large area. In any case, I had to say, it was quite shocking to me that there wasn't anyone else here besides us. While the fact that it was currently a weekday might have been a factor for sure, it was also true that kids didn't really do that as much as they'd used to. Play outside, I mean.
It was just how the times were.
Never had I expected that there would one day come a time when the boomerang that had spent so long collecting dust on my trophy shelf would actually be put to use. I showed the thing to Nagafuji, and immediately, she began bending its wings slightly, all the while making very interested noises. Soon, however, she paused before tilting her head to the side.
"Hmm? This boomerang, it's... Oh my."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Now, let me just tune this for you real quick."
Having said that, Nagafuji began bending the wings of the boomerang into a slightly different position compared to how they'd been originally. As for me, all I did was stand there watching her do so.
"Go ahead."
The way I said that definitely sounded a bit distant, and for that, I earned myself a slight humph.
This was followed by her pushing out her sizeable breasts as well as her stomach—the latter not particularly noticeable, at least not in comparison.
It was clear to anyone what she was emphasizing here. Not only that, it appeared that she wanted me to say it.
"...Master."
"Hehehe."
While a simple act, me calling her that seemed to bring Nagafuji great joy. There was a part of me that couldn't help but feel like this had been her goal all along.
Nagafuji also had a boomerang with her. The surfaces of its three blades were covered all around in a number of small holes.
"If I adjust the blades like this, that'll give it more lift."
"Oh, really."
It really did sound like she knew what she was talking about. Not that I was planning on putting any real effort into learning how to throw the thing.
"The important part is giving it spin when you throw it. To do that, make sure that you don't grip it too hard, and also remember to relax your wrist."
"Hmm."
"When it comes to throwing a boomerang, spin is everything", Nagafuji continued explaining. She then raised her voice without a warning before finishing with the following: "Control the spin!"
"......"
"That's something I've always wanted to say."
"Umm, okay..."
"Namely, what you need to do is achieve a spin matching the golden ratio and... Well, whatever. Just throw it sideways. That's what matters the most."
Now done adjusting it, she handed the boomerang back to me accompanied by that piece of instruction.
I kinda felt like I'd heard something similar before, but where?
The park was located between a river and a small road. As far as shelter went, there were a few parasols scattered about, but that was pretty much the extent of it. All in all, it seemed like I was free to throw the boomerang kinda however I wanted without having to worry about where it landed.
"I suggest you focus. You might end up hurting yourself if you don't toss it the right way."
"Got it."
I went ahead and held it sideways—just like she'd taught me to do.
"World's first (probably) high school girl boomerang novel!"
Was that supposed to help me focus?
"Oh? Chi-Chi, you're left-handed?" she asked me while watching me get ready to toss the boomerang.
"Yep."
"Well, in that case, I better tune the blades the opposite way."
I gave the boomerang to her one more time and watched as she bent the blades the other way around.
Every now and then, I found myself thinking about it. Thinking about how things would have turned out had I never met Shimamura.
It was more than likely that I would spend all of my days—even those when I didn't have school like this one—sitting in my room with my eyes fixed on the clock.
All the while remaining unsure whether I wanted this period of my life tinged with laziness to come to an end or to keep going.
I thought about it sometimes. Thought about what would have happened had the emotions rushing through my mind never reached a point where they were strong enough to dissolve my old self.
In all likelihood, I would have ignored the fact that her eyes were looking somewhere else and simply accepted the situation as such.
It had nothing to do with me. That's what I would've decided.
And yet, right now, I was here.
Shimamura's voice caused my heart to pound faster. Simply thinking about her, I could feel myself being filled with warmth. It felt so painful, almost as if I were constantly on the verge of losing something precious. Matters that I could do nothing about continued bringing me both anxiety and frustration. There were some positive emotions as well; I really felt like if I tried hard enough, I would be able to overcome the situation I found myself in. Feelings of resentment and difficulty that in no way existed inside me forced me face to face with the world outside. They'd all been given to me by Shimamura.
That was all I was.
Now then. It was currently Sunday—the day of our date.
The fact that I'd barely slept at all last night was already starting to take a toll on my body. That being said, considering that this was exactly what tended to happen every single time I met Shimamura outside of a school day, I'd gotten plenty used to it by now. More than that, I could also feel my eyes growing dry, most likely because I was far too focused on waiting for her to show up to even blink.
All those other times had simply been us having fun as friends. This marked our first actual date together. It only made sense for me to be nervous.
I could practically hear my dry eyeballs scraping against my skin.
The sky above me was full of clouds—the small and round type to be precise. Their appearance made it clear that autumn was coming. With each passing day, the scenery surrounding us changed ever so slightly. The early autumn tinged with the warmth of the late summer, it marked the beginning of our time spent together. In the same way, just like how it had happened last year, our relationship was once again about to enter a whole new phase. If this kept up, then... Then what would the next autumn bring with it? I'd yet to even think that far.
Whatever the case, I had to wonder, had it really been the right choice for me to prepare for the date only by learning how to toss a boomerang?
Nagafuji hadn't tricked me, had she?
Only the boomerang currently stuffed inside my bag knew the answer to that question.
We'd chosen to meet outside of a sports gym. It was the same one I'd visited with her a while back, the one completely lacking in elegance.
"There? Hmm... There, huh... Well, whatever. Sure."
Those had been her exact words. I couldn't help but wonder why she'd sounded so hesitant at first.
"Heyo."
Speaking of Shimamura, she then showed up, carrying her bag on her shoulder.
"Whoa..."
Looking at her again, I was once again made to realise that she really did look cute no matter the situation.
The width of her shoulders, her manner of walking, the roundness of her hips. Her clothes did little to stop her from appearing both fluffy and sparkly all at the same time as she approached me.
Heck, even the bottoms of her shoes were cute. Probably. It wasn't like I could really see them.
Whatever it was that was affecting me, I felt like it was serious. I truly did.
"Morni—"
I'd only gotten halfway through my greeting when all of a sudden, Shimamura pulled right up to me.
"Wh-What?"
Standing on tiptoes, she stared at my forehead.
Was it already happening? I could feel my fingers moving about anxiously.
"Hmm."
She pulled away just as swiftly as she'd approached me.
"Huh?"
"I was thinking that you might have honey or something smeared on your forehead."
"Cough, cough."
"Are you okay? Do you have a cold or something?"
No, it's fine, I assured her in the form of waving my hand from side to side.
Even so, just to make sure, I decided to go ahead and ask her.
"What if I had done that? What if I had... err... smeared honey on my forehead..."
"In that case, I would've made you wash your face. But, anyway. Where will you be taking me? Not the gym, I assume."
"Oh, right. Over there."
The destination I'd planned out for us—a small park owned by the city—was located just nearby behind two crosswalks plus a corner. It seemed that today, no sports teams or student clubs had arranged to meet there. That really was quite fortunate. The only people that could be seen were a couple of children playing catchball.
"You better not tell me that you want to play two-player soccer."
She followed this statement by putting up her guard as a joke. And yet, in the look of her eyes and the reverb of her voice, the faintest hint of what I might describe as nostalgia could be seen. Was I simply imagining things? Perhaps. Or maybe that was something she'd done with someone a long time ago.
But with whom? With her little sister? Or with the girl whose identity I still didn't know?
Simply thinking about it led to my teeth grinding together out of frustration.
"Here."
Doing my best to ignore such thoughts, I went ahead and pulled out the boomerang from my bag. I could see Shimamura's eyes grow just the tiniest bit wide as I did so.
"Oh. I see."
"Huh? What?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking about what the series of events must have been that led us back to the boomerang. So then, what are you planning on doing with it? Are you going to return to your youth, to the days of old?"
"I'm going to... challenge you..."
And then, if I win, then... Cough, cough.
Her eyes jumping between the boomerang and my hand which held it, Shimamura repeated that word to herself. "Challenge."
A few moments later, the right corner of her mouth rose slightly to form a smirk.
"That doesn't sound fair. Admit it. You've been practising behind my back, haven't you?"
"Cough."
It appeared that she'd read me like an open book. Made sense, I suppose. I was kinda like that, a book. What was I supposed to do here? If she were to turn me down here, that would mean that all of my efforts had been for nothing.
"You tried your hardest, huh? Well done."
...What? She was... praising me? Now that wasn't something I'd been expecting to happen.
"Anyway, sure. Toss the boomerang and catch it, and I'll be really impressed."
Those were the words she said before sitting down on the bench nearby. Huh? Really? That was all I needed to do?
Was Shimamura truly that kind? No. No she wasn't. I knew that to be the case.
Something was definitely off here.
"You only have a single try, so do keep that in mind", she followed with a mean grin on her face. See?
A single try, huh? While I had eventually gotten to a point after enough training where I was able to catch the boomerang most of the time, "most" wasn't "every".
That was to say, I'd definitely had my fair share of failures.
"If I do happen to mess up, then... Then that's not just that then, right? Right?"
"Hmm, I wonder."
She gave me another smirk. Hmm... I couldn't help but notice that she was smiling a whole lot more than she had been in the past.
Though they were usually the charming sort, now, they were full of malice.
I swept my hands clean of sweat and pointed my eyes forward.
Even if it was one-in-a-thousand chance, failure simply wasn't acceptable.
Doing what I could to get my body excited, I slowly assumed the proper stance and got ready to throw.
The blade I was gripping onto was already covered in the sweat being emitted from my hand.
Concentrate. That was what I told myself, all the while thinking back to what I had learned.
I adjusted my breathing and loosened my grasp.
Control the spin.
The words of my master echoed in my mind.
She truly was a nuisance to the end.
Go. Go. Go!
Putting all of my strength into my knees, I shifted my centre of mass from one side to another.
I got myself ready for the throw of destiny.
My wrist relaxed, I hurled the boomerang forward.
Praying for it to fly, I then released it.
The boomerang did just that. It soared through the air in a beautiful arch. Good. All I needed to do now was catch it.
Calmly and precisely, I followed the boomerang with my eyes, watching as the scenery behind it grew warped in its wake. The intense nervousness I felt made it impossible for me to focus on anything that wasn't in the very centre of my vision. Not only that, I was starting to have trouble breathing as well. Focus, I repeated to myself. If there was such a thing as a do-or-die moment, then this was it.
I tried my hardest to focus on just the boomerang.
Nothing else that was happening around me mattered in that moment. A meteorite could have fallen on me, and I wouldn't have cared. The world appeared to me almost like I was viewing it through a red filter; I saw everything, yes, but the majority of it didn't register in my mind. Only what truly mattered did. That was the way I lived my life.
The boomerang turned around and began making its way back to me. Alright, that was the prerequisite out of the way. What came next was the actually crucial step.
This was it. Matching the way the boomerang moved, I began running sideways.
I then held out my hand.
If I was able to catch it here, then my future, my tomorrow, they would be secured.
Feeling like a certain old man who'd just gotten his hands on a bag of rice seeds for some reason, I stretched out my hand and body alike.
Then.
Grab.
Having been sitting still until just now, Shimamura caught the boomerang mid-air.
"......"
"Oh, sorry. It flew past me, and I just..."
"......"
In an instant, my entire back was covered in sweat. It caused my body to shiver.
Shimamura averted her gaze awkwardly, all the while bending the wings of the boomerang using her fingers.
"Err... Hmm... Let's call this... Co-operation of love. Yeah, that sounds good."
"R-Right! That's, err... Yeah."
What was happening? What was happening to me? Where was this situation going to lead?
The sweat which now covered my hands was so intense that I could smell it.
"So then, is that everything you wanted to do, Adachi?"
"Umm... I mean..."
It was in that moment that I realised that I'd been too busy making sure that I succeeded to even explain to her what the point of this all was.
"You're always so deliberate. I don't dislike that about you", she stated, still smiling awkwardly. She'd deliberately said that she didn't dislike it in favour of something more direct, and combined with her tone and general attitude, I couldn't help but feel the slightest bit disheartened.
"Right... Okay. Should we go have some lunch or something now?"
It just happened to be the perfect time for that.
Shimamura was the one who'd chosen our time of meeting for the day. That led me to wonder, was it perhaps the case that she'd figured that whatever I had planned wouldn't last for long and picked a time based on that? She truly was kind. I had no real way of telling if that was what she'd done, and yet, I chose to stick to my interpretation regardless.
"Want to buy something? Or should we go somewhere to eat? Oh, and you don't need to worry about the money. I'll pay. I, err, I have enough savings."
I'd yet to spend the majority of the money I'd earned through my part-time job. I'd simply never had all that much to spend it on.
"Huh? Adachi, do you seriously think I'm dating you for money?"
Shimamura proceeded to raise both of her shoulders in a way wholly uncharacteristic of her. Of course I didn't think that. That's what I was going to tell her at first, but after thinking about it for a few seconds, I decided to try out a different approach. I went ahead and bent my body backwards in just a slightly exaggerated manner.
"Y-You're not?"
"No, I am."
"Huh?!"
My attempt at a joke was met by a flat refusal. For a second, Shimamura's face grew stiff.
"Haha. I'm just messing with you. But, still. You're rich, huh, Adachi?"
Shimamura then proceeded to stare me down. I could almost feel her gaze brushing my skin as her eyes bounced between my jaw and temple. It tickled a little.
"So... Both money and good looks... Hmm..."
"...What?"
"I'm just thinking out loud. Looks like I've made quite the catch. Good for me. Ahahaha."
The grandiose way in which Shimamura laughed left her mouth wide open, exposing even her back teeth.
"Aha... Hahaha."
To match her, I too went ahead and let out a laugh.
While it did kinda feel like she was only congratulating my money and my looks, it still filled my heart with warmth.
"I do find it kinda odd how often you made me buy you food back when we first met if you were actually rich all along."
"Huh?"
"Well, whatever. Anyway. We don't need to go buy anything today."
"Huh?!"
I'd been on my way to the entrance of the playground when all of a sudden, her comment forced me to pull to a halt.
Shimamura reached into her bag and pulled something out.
"I packed us lunch."
Just like had been promised, I was given a sandwich wrapped in plastic alongside a smile.
"Ah..."
I was overcome with emotion, and with that, my voice got stuck in my throat. The words I meant to say refused to come out.
As if all strength had left my body, I went ahead and sat down on the bench with a thump.
"It's just a simple sandwich, though. I'm not really capable of much better."
She followed this statement of hers with a slightly awkward laugh. Her goal was clearly to smooth things over, and let's just say, it worked wonders on me.
"Whoa..."
The contents of the plastic wrapping she'd now spread open appeared in my eyes as all the colours of a rainbow.
"Here you go."
Shimamura took out the egg sandwich and handed it to me. I was just about to grab it when I noticed that, instead of giving it to me straight, she was planning on bringing the treat to my mouth herself. Could this mean what I thought it meant? Yes. It definitely did. Keeping my head still, I went ahead and took a bite.
"Was it good?"
The intense chewing carried out by my back teeth ensured that the taste of the sandwich was spread everywhere throughout my mouth.
"Y-Yes. It's... delicious."
"Haha. That sounds like a total lie."
Just like that, she'd seen right through me. Regardless, I opened my mouth and once again proclaimed:
"No, it really is good."
"Hehe. Sure. Still, it does feel good being praised even if you are just paying me lip service."
Flattered, Shimamura took the rest of the sandwich and shoved it in my mouth.
"Umm, hey. Shimamura", I said with my head hung, all the while swallowing the bits of the sandwich that remained: "Can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
Given her good mood, I figured that this was as perfect of an opportunity as I was going to get.
Was this going to make things super awkward? Possibly. And yet, I was going to go for it anyway.
I would have to ask her eventually regardless. Might as well do it now.
"Some time ago, you visited a summer festival with someone. Who was that person?"
Having realised how fast I was talking, I stopped myself to breathe.
"Hmm, I wonder..."
Forcing myself to lift my gaze, I stared right at her.
The smile on Shimamura's face vanished. She then let out a sigh before answering:
"She's an old friend of mine. She asked me if I wanted to go."
An old friend? From like, before she met me?
Never before had I heard about such a person existing. I had no idea who she was. Why hadn't she told me? Why was she keeping this friend of hers a secret from me? Did she feel like she didn't need to tell me? But why? I was her girlfriend, wasn't I? I was. And in the future, I might be... might be... Anyway.
The thought alone had caused my face to grow warm.
We were in public, and yet, I felt like I might burst into tears. If I did that, it'd ruin everything. All I had done to get here would've been for nothing.
If there was anything my experiences with Shimamura had taught me, it was that I ought not to act on emotion.
I took a deep breath and calmed myself down.
I adjusted my posture as well.
"From now on, could you only go with me?"
No sooner had those words left my mouth than I began observing her to see how she'd react.
A deep groan left Shimamura's mouth as she averted her eyes awkwardly.
"What a hopeless child you are", she then stated, all the while patting my head.
At first, her fingers jumped up and down, almost as if she was playing a piano. Then, she softly placed them against my hair.
Hmm...
I'd now finished swallowing the sandwich. And yet, something still remained.
"Is something wrong? Your cheeks are all puffed up."
I knew it. I hadn't been making up things when I'd felt that there was something lacking about her touch. The proof of it could be seen on her face.
"Yes. You're acting like you were my mother."
"You think so?"
She proceeded to stare down at her palm that she had just moments earlier used to pat my head. It appeared that she didn't share my impression.
"Right. Still, that's just how I feel when I look at you, Adachi. What would you call it? A protective instinct? Something like that."
"I don't like that one bit."
While I'm sure that Shimamura didn't mean anything bad by it, there was something about her actions that brought out a strong negative response from me.
"Is that so? Well then, how would you like me to treat you?"
A faint hint of malice could be heard mixed in her voice. The impression I was left with was that she already knew the answer.
Do I really have to say it? I asked with my eyes.
You do, she responded with a smile.
Hmmm...
"L-Like your girlfriend."
"Really now? Like my girlfriend, huh..."
Having said that, she then stood up and circled in front of me.
Resting her hands on my shoulders, she placed herself between me and the sun.
"Like this?"
Without thinking, I swallowed all the saliva left in my mouth, alongside the last remaining bits of bread.
"Like this..."
My shoulders were throbbing with pain. My throat was tense, and my stomach felt like it was being constricted.
"D-Do it slowly..."
This time, I wanted to get a clear look of it. I wanted to burn the image to my eyes.
"Slowly, you say? Alright then."
Lacking speed, her face grew close to me.
While my forehead was obviously what she was aiming at, the angle at which she approached me made it seem like soon, I might find her lips pressed against my own.
My fingers were left dancing about on the surface of the bench like a bunch of mice.
She wiped my hair out of the way.
Just like that, her lips touched my forehead.
The impact was massive. It really did feel like a clot of blood that'd been stuck in my heart had just been released.
Inside me, I could hear the sound of someone praying. The voice was much deeper than mine, and for some reason, I found it really difficult to picture.
I'd been able to hear it all this time.
The world around me grew blurry.
Little by little, I managed to get hold of Shimamura's outline. It was as if I was viewing her through the surface of a lake.
"Is that good?"
Haha. How embarrassing.
That appeared to be how Shimamura found the situation; scratching her cheek awkwardly, she moved to pull her body away.
I stopped her and took her hand. Staring up at her from below, I then stated the following to her.
I told her what I felt in my heart.
I exposed myself to her in full.
"I love you."
"Yep."
"I really do."
"Yep."
"I want to be with you, forever."
"...Yep."
No amount of thinking about it was going to let me get anything out of my mouth except the words most mundane.
And yet, Shimamura, she responded to each and every one of them with a smile.
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