Ascendance of a Bookworm (LN) - Volume 5.9 - Chapter 6

A Sleepless Night

I was back at the Battle of Gerlach. Blue-caped knights surrounded me on all sides with their shields raised, blocking so much of my view that I couldn’t tell where we were or where we were going. Explosions nearly blinded me, shouts drowned out all other noise, and arrows whizzed through the air as I pressed on in my highbeast.

My heart pounded in my chest, and my ears rang. It was hard to breathe, and despite the overwhelming fear that gripped me and made me want to flee, my hands refused to leave my steering wheel. I couldn’t move, entirely as though I’d turned into a feystone.

I saw a dazzling flash of rainbow light; then all sorts of things started shooting toward me. The clashing of metal and even more shouts reached my ears before sprays of red entered my vision. A severed arm struck my Pandabus; then a knight who had fallen from his highbeast dropped in front of me. I plowed right through him, causing him to bounce up into the air and out of sight. All the while, feystones continued to strike the windshield; the force of each impact reverberated through my steering wheel.

My body turned cold as ice, and my teeth chattered violently. It hurt to breathe. Tears welled from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks all on their own.

The portions of the fight when my emotions had shut down now seemed so very clear to me, as though a thick fog had suddenly lifted. They repeated over and over again, refusing to fade from my memory. A man thanked me profusely for coming to his rescue. Then, a moment later, he fell from the sky as a feystone.

I drove into the room ahead of me and saw the giebe collapsed on the floor, already in the process of turning into a feystone. My stomach dropped, and as I clenched my teeth, an awful sensation spread through my mouth as though I were chewing sand. Cold sweat covered me from head to toe.

And then there was Grausam, laughing derisively as he absorbed every attack thrown at him with the mass of black feystones that was his arm. His ear-piercing cackle repeated again and again, starting out fast and agonizingly high-pitched before slowly warping into a low drone. He swung his fire-engulfed arm, burning everything in sight.

The flames faded away, revealing that half of his body had turned into a sickening mass of feystones. Some seemed to dig into his flesh, while others merely rested atop it. He was well and truly monstrous.

In the blink of an eye, Grausam charged toward me, reaching out his prosthesis. I fired my water gun at him, hoping to stop his advance, but that only made the rest of his face turn into feystones. Even then, I could see the murderous hatred in his expression and the madness gleaming in his gray eyes.

Everywhere I looked, there were feystones, feystones, feystones... I screamed at the top of my lungs as they all closed in on me.

“Stay away!”

I leapt up... and realized that I was back in bed. My entire body was so damp with sweat that my bedclothes clung to me and my hair stuck to my skin. A chill seeped into my bones as the cold air pricked my bare neck; the nights were frigid even now that we were approaching the height of spring.

My heart pounded, and each breath felt more labored than the last. The contents of my dream spun through my mind as I lay motionless in bed. Every now and then, I saw what could only have been the glimmer of a feystone fall through the darkness. I pressed one hand over my mouth, trying not to vomit, and rested the other on my chest, hoping to calm my nerves.

“I feel sick...”

Each time I tried to remember the battle before the feast, my mind returned a cloudy mess of memories. Maybe it was a defense mechanism.

“I need to speak with Ferdinand about this...” I muttered. But as I reached for my bedside table, wanting to send an ordonnanz, I paused. Even the thought of touching its yellow feystone made my stomach turn.

At last, I steeled my nerves and yanked open the drawer. The magic tool was sitting inside, and at once, the feystones that had tormented me in my dreams all came to mind. It suddenly became hard to breathe, like there was something heavy weighing on my chest. Even knowing the tool was just an ordonnanz, I couldn’t muster the courage to grab it. I squeezed my hand shut and let my arm fall to my side.

What should I do...? I won’t be able to call for help like this...

As an unknown fear assaulted my senses, I couldn’t help but tremble. I wrapped my arms around my chest and squeezed, desperate for even the smallest trace of comfort.

It was then that I heard footsteps on the other side of my bed-curtain. I shot bolt upright and drew my schtappe, ready to fight whatever threat awaited me.

“Lady Rozemyne, can we join you?”

“She’s in bed, Judithe... Mind your phrasing...”

Those voices... They belonged to Judithe and Gretia. I remembered they were on night watch, then rushed to dispel my schtappe and wipe away the sweat beading on my neck.

“Lords Hartmut and Ferdinand warned us this might happen...” Judithe told me through the curtain. “Even trained knights can become emotionally unstable after an intense battle, so we were told to keep a very close eye on you and Lady Hannelore tonight. I was scared too when I saw what the poison did to those knights. Let me sit with you awhile.”

She drew my bed-curtains and moved to join me. Gretia went to do the same, but when she saw how drenched with sweat my bedclothes were, she decided to fetch me something to change into.

“Under normal circumstances, only adult knights would have participated in such a gruesome battle,” Judithe said, speaking into the darkness. “We apprentices were only sent out because the enemy had so many more troops than we did...”

I’d assumed she was going to ask me all sorts of uncomfortable questions, but her tone made it clear that she wasn’t expecting me to respond. Relieved, I merely lay there in silence, listening.

“Almost every single one of the apprentices is staying in the knights’ dormitory tonight, since they’re expected to struggle with the day’s events. The higher-ups are speaking with them, and they’re having sessions with doctors. Flowers are even available for anyone who requests them. I thought you might want some as well, Lady Rozemyne, which was why I asked Lady Florencia to let you visit one of the greenhouses. A trip there should calm you down in an instant.”

Judithe stuck out her chest, pleased with her solution to my worries. Little did she know, the knights were enjoying flowers of another kind.

“You could gaze upon the flowers while drinking some nice, fragrant tea. How does that sound, Lady Rozemyne?”

“Would it really be acceptable for me to go outside this late at night...?” I asked. To my knowledge, the knights who had accompanied me to Ahrensbach had all returned to their estates. Even if we asked Damuel to leave his post by the door to join me, I wouldn’t have an adequate number of guards.

“As it stands, the castle is packed with knights, so we are free to head out as long as we inform the Order. I spoke with them before coming here, so the arrangements have already been made.”

Oh... I guess they couldn’t bring themselves to clear up Judithe’s misunderstanding.

She had gone to the trouble of arranging this trip to the greenhouse, and not a single person had intervened. I elected to bite my tongue as well and simply appreciate her kind gesture.

“I thank you ever so much, Judithe. I look forward to our outing.”

“Let me go tell the others,” she said with a joyful smile and took her leave. Gretia returned just in time to replace her, looking worried.

“Are you sure about doing this, Lady Rozemyne? Judithe might be invested in the idea, but would it not be better for you to spend the night in bed, relaxing at your leisure?”

“Truth be told, I’d just awoken from an unpleasant dream when you arrived. I doubt Schlaftraum’s blessings are going to reach me tonight, and a chance to stretch my legs does sound nice. Not to mention... as far as my image is concerned, it would make more sense for me to spend this sleepless night in the greenhouse rather than with Ferdinand, don’t you think? Otherwise, such an elaborate scheme would never have been concocted.”

In the past, any concerns to do with my well-being would have been dumped entirely on Ferdinand. A trip to the greenhouse wouldn’t even have been humored.

Gretia’s brow furrowed, her eyes tinged with sadness. “I apologize that I am unable to grant your desires, Lady Rozemyne.”

“There is no need to worry. Such is the nature of noble society.”

Gretia turned on a light, brought in a small tub filled with hot water, and fetched me some clothes to wear outside my room. Then, once she had everything she needed, she stripped me down and started dabbing the sweat from my body with a tightly wrung towel.

“Growing up has its downsides...” she muttered. “The way everyone looks at you changes. You stop being able to do things that once seemed so normal to you, and in the end, I think you actually lose more freedoms than you gain. I matured earlier than most, so there were many times when I was denied something that others my age were able to do freely. I found that completely unreasonable.”

I didn’t think Gretia had changed all that much on the inside, but her growth spurt had caused a tremendous shift in how everyone treated her. We’d gone through more or less the same experience, so she could relate to my struggles being told to reconsider my relationship with Ferdinand and needing to put up with everyone speculating about my every move.

“I always thought I would enjoy catching up to everyone else...” I said. “But indeed, maturing has its ups and downs.”

“A lot of things become more troublesome than not until your heart catches up with your body...” Gretia added quietly. “Especially relationships with men.”

In silence, I cast my eyes over the girl who had given her name to me to escape her family. I could only imagine all the “troublesome” events she had gone through.

“I’m back,” Judithe announced, sounding as merry as ever. “Lady Hannelore is also having a hard time getting to sleep. According to her night watch attendant, she wishes to go out on the balcony and get some air. Perhaps you could invite her to the greenhouse. Knights tend to speak openly with their peers; maybe now is a good time for you to interact with her like that.”

Judithe was adamant that Hannelore and I would understand each other. As authority figures, we archduke candidates weren’t allowed to join the knights in their dormitory while they were recovering from the terrors of the battlefield.

Hannelore had seemed used to fighting as an archduke candidate of Dunkelfelger, but maybe that hadn’t actually been the case. Maybe this was her first time experiencing death on the battlefield. Had she spent the night thus far feeling as nauseated as I was?

“Please invite Lady Hannelore through her night watch attendant,” I told Judithe. “Take care not to be too forceful.”

“Understood.”

Speaking with Judithe and Gretia had eased my worries a little, but the discomfort from my dream lingered. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw feystones of all sorts of colors. I was fleeing to the greenhouse to avoid more nightmares.

I wish I could fall into such a deep sleep that I wouldn’t dream at all.

As that thought floated through my mind, Hannelore sent me an ordonnanz stating her desire to accompany me on my nighttime wander. The bird spoke its message three times... then turned into a yellow feystone. I couldn’t bear to catch it, so it clattered down by my feet. Goose bumps rose on my skin as memories of the battlefield came rushing back to me.