Baccano! - Volume 14 - Chapter 2.5

Interlude Tips—Childhood Pal

“For the love of— Don’t forget you’re injured, all right?”

As I spoke, I changed the bandages on a patient named…Jacuzzi, I think.

What with this, that, and the other, I’d managed to get off that train safely.

This doctor, Fred, had just happened to be on the scene, and I’d taken the plunge and asked to act as his assistant. He’d agreed readily. I didn’t think saying I’d been suckered in when I happened to run into my childhood buddy Ladd would work, especially when I was wearing the same white clothes, but apparently, the fact that I’d bought my ticket separately from Ladd and the other guys had paid off. Plus, the doc had more clout with the cops than I’d figured.

I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I started working at this hospital as the doctor’s assistant for real, partly in order to throw the cops off the trail.

Still, all the patients here were weird.

There was a young guy who looked like a junkie and an old guy who stunk like booze. The last guy was hurt real bad and had dozens of guns strapped all over his body, too. Sheesh, was this place a loony bin or a hospital?

That said, the most uncomfortable part for me was taking care of the scrawny, wimpy tattooed kid.

After all, he knew I was one of Ladd’s pals.

We were on the train together… Although actually, it sounds like the kid was an enemy of Ladd’s. From what I hear, the Russo Family has him in their sights. A snot-nosed brat like this—who’d have thought?

I had zero plans to contact the Russos, though.

Ladd was the only connection I had with that family, for one thing, and if I did anything dumb, the big one or the girl with the eye patch and gunpowder would make sure I never did anything again.

And so as the doc’s assistant, I got handed grunt work like changing this guy’s bandages and getting his food ready… And if that sounds awkward to you, you’d be right.

At first we didn’t even talk, but after several days, his body finally loosened up—and the kid snuck out of the hospital and came back ready to faint. I got fed up and finally groused at him.

The kid flinched, then hung his head, drooping like a baby bunny.

“I-I’m sorry. It’s just, I couldn’t just sit here…”

“It’s fine that you care about your buddies, but you’re not exactly a big tough guy, so if you don’t put yourself first, you’ll wind up taking a dirt nap. With those wounds, you’re lucky to be alive at all.”

The kid’s name was Jacuzzi Splot.

From what Ladd said, he was the leader of a group of delinquents that killed quite a few Russo Family men, but…if you ignored that ink on his face, he was a gofer underling at best.

As I turned to him suspiciously, Jacuzzi asked me a timid question.

“Mister, um… You were with those guys in the white suits, weren’t you?”

His eyes were guarded—frightened, really.

C’mon, if you’re scared of me, there’s just no hope for you.

“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve known that nutcase Ladd since we were kids.”

“Why haven’t you reported me? To the Russo Family, I mean.”

That question was way too much, and I gave a wry smile in spite of myself.

“Wh-what?” Jacuzzi cocked his head, looking stumped. I glanced at the papers on the table, then let him have it.

“Kid, were you writing out Why haven’t you reported me? as practice for asking me that?”

“Huh? W-wait, what?! N-no! That’s the note Chané wrote…”

“I know that. Chané’s the doll in the black dress who left recently, ain’t she? Your voice was the only one I heard, so she must’ve been writing down her half of the conversation.”

I was only messing with him a little, but Jacuzzi’s face went bright red, and he started tearing up. What’s with this guy?

“Y-you were listening?!”

“Relax. I didn’t pay any attention to the whining you did after she left.”

“Yeep! I-I’m sorry!”

“…What are you apologizing for?”

Seriously, I don’t get this fella.

What’s a guy like him doing in charge of a group of delinquents?

I doubt he’s a scapegoat for them to use if the cops come after ’em, and they don’t look like the sort of group that would try to have a puppet in charge.

After making sure I’d changed all his bandages, I leaned against the wall by the window and answered that earlier question.

“Well, Ladd and I go way back, but I’m not with the mafia. If I palled around with those types, I’d be dead multiple times over.”

“That Ladd person seems more dangerous to me…”

“I can’t argue with that… Well, he ain’t the type to kill his pals, and that’s the one thing you can believe out of him. Aside from that, he’s hopeless… Next to him, you’re practically one of the good guys. If I handed somebody like you over to the mafia, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, no matter what kind of sky-high bounty they’ve got on you.”

“B-bounty…?”

He must’ve remembered the position he was in. I watched his face turn pale.

Seriously, I was impressed that a guy like this picked a fight with the Russo Family.

I was about to leave the room, but Jacuzzi spoke up from behind me.

“U-um… Uh, thank you.”

“Changing bandages is my job, so no need to thank me for that.”

“N-no, I meant for not reporting me… Erm, frankly, I don’t understand why a person like you is friends with someone so terrifying.”

…Was he just asking because he’s curious?

Or was he hinting that I should cut ties with Ladd because he was worried about me?

Damn. I would have liked to say it was none of his beeswax, but he was actually 100 percent right.

“…I know I shouldn’t be. Trust me.”

“Oh, n-no, sorry, I’m sorry! That wasn’t what I…”

“I’m sure you’ve got your past. So do I, and so does he.”

Man, now that we’re here, I might as well.

It wouldn’t hurt to tell this guy just a little about him.

“You don’t have to be that jumpy… Probably. Ladd’s not gonna kill you.”

“Huh?”

“The folks he kills are the laid-back ones who think they’re untouchable, who live without any sense of danger. I dunno about your happy-go-lucky pals, but you’re always scared about when you or your friends are gonna die…and the doc told me you wouldn’t have gotten those wounds unless you knew you might bite the big one.”

Seriously, when they first carried him into that compartment, I thought Ladd had worked him over. He was burned, he’d been knifed in the arm, he had holes in his gut and legs, and it seemed like a genuine miracle that he’s gabbing away this energetically now.

“Anyway, Ladd doesn’t kill guys like you. Even if he’s a murdering maniac.”

“He’s a m-murderer?!”

Oh cripes, did he not know about that?

“…Well, I doubt there’s any proof lying around, but that guy must’ve killed a ton of people before he ever stepped foot on that train. I bet the whole reason he was there in the first place was to kill the passengers and other folks in New York. Doesn’t matter who… Nah, I guess it does matter who to him. And so, uh, that pal of yours, Jack— He was lucky, too. That guy coulda beaten him to death, easy.”

“No! Wh-why? How can he do things like that?!” Jacuzzi shouted, a trace of cowardice leaving his face.

He probably figured he couldn’t forgive Ladd for his inhuman acts.

Well, of course not. That was the normal reaction.

This guy was right.

The ones who were wrong were Ladd and fence-sitting sad sacks like me.

“…I dunno. I couldn’t tell you what the inside of that guy’s mind is like. It’s not as if anything made him a murderer. The next thing he knew, he just was one. We’ve been playing together since we were kids… And before we knew it, he’d turned into the guy you know. I couldn’t do anything about him; that’s all it is. I’m just a coward who doesn’t even try to stop him.”

“…Then why are you with him? If you aren’t going to try and stop him, you wouldn’t have to be around him, and yet… You don’t look like the sort of person who’d join in and have a good time.”

The guy stared at me steadily. This clearly didn’t sit right in his stomach.

I wanted to look away, but then I would’ve felt guilty, too. I can’t stand those eyes, dammit.

I shut the door to the room and, sighing, lowered myself into a chair in the corner.

Then I decided to tell the tattooed kid, his eyes still on me, a little anecdote.

“…I dunno why he turned into a homicidal maniac, and there probably never was any actual cause…but there used to be somebody who maybe could’ve stopped him.”

“Her name was Leila. She was another childhood pal of ours—Ladd’s and mine.”

Leila was basically the leader of our group.

She was tougher than the guys, and she just had to have everything her way.

She was also good at looking after people, though. If somebody slugged me and left me crying, first Leila would slap the guy, and when he tried to fight back, Ladd would grab a brick and join the action. Ladd would plain try to belt the guy until he stopped moving, but she’d kick him to the ground and tell him she never asked for him to do that. And I mean, if she hadn’t, the guy getting hit with the brick woulda died.

I watched those two from behind and wished I could be a part of that dynamic.

That was how it always went.

Leila was just about the only doll who could flat-out boss Ladd around. Can you even picture that? She had a pretty cute face, too, y’know.

Ladd’s people were mafia, while Leila was from a rich congressman’s family.

In a way, they might have made a good couple.

I figured watching them from the rear was the perfect place for me, the average guy.

But then our childhood ended, and right around the time we were starting to understand the sweet and sour of the world…something gradually started to go cockeyed.

Ladd started becoming increasingly violent at that time, but he hid that side of himself from Leila. At least, he thought he was hiding it. She knew, but she kept quiet.

Since I’d been watching both of them from behind, I knew about their feelings, but there was nothing I could do.

I vaguely thought that Leila might be able to pull Ladd back onto the straight and narrow. Even now, I’m sure that would have been true.

Except…I couldn’t ever imagine the two of them getting hitched.

They were friends; that was all. Not lovers.

They were childhood pals, and they mistook that friendship for love.

Yeah, it was a mistake. Before either of them knew about real romantic love, they assumed they did, and they went out of control.

I’d picked up on that.

After all, I’d just been watching them. Of course I’d seen it.

I just didn’t say anything.

Even if it was a mistake, I figured it was best for the two of them to be together.

As long as I could still see them zipping around town, that was enough for me.

It was the wrong move, though.

With their mistaken beliefs still intact, Ladd and Leila finally eloped.

I mean, their families were like oil and water, and Leila’s old man was a congressman who wanted to drive out the mafia. Eloping was the only choice they had—or the simplest one, anyway.

I watched them elope, too.

That was enough for me.

…Up until I heard that Leila had died after they got away.

I did technically hear what had happened, but I dunno whether it was true.

…I sure can’t just tell you exactly what killed Leila.

What I will tell you, though, is that it wasn’t Ladd.

Yeah, I don’t know if what I heard is true or not, but on that point, I believe him.

If he had killed Leila, I think he’d be even more dangerous than he is now. Bad enough to kill even me or Vicky without blinking just because he was bored.

He’s not like that, though.

In the end, I didn’t have the courage to pry, and he didn’t volunteer any information about Leila.

But I didn’t need to ask to learn this one thing.

Or actually, I guess you’d say that something I already knew was branded into me more deeply.

Everyone dies.

We die so easy.

And now I know, really know, what that means.

I was a spectator. Leila and Ladd were actors on the stage.

To be honest, they were the actual protagonists of a story, so we lived in completely different worlds.

Because of that, I figured they’d live forever.

I never dreamed that somebody who could smack a tough guy like Ladd upside the head would die before I did.

……

I wondered why I hadn’t stepped on that stage with them.

If we’d all been in the same position, and I’d said something to them from there, fate might have changed.

Or maybe I’m just getting a swelled head, and I couldn’t have done anything different.

Still, if I’d been on that stage…at the very least, I think I might’ve been able to say something to Ladd.

Even now, I regret it, but—

—I don’t have the courage to stand where Ladd does, either.

That’s probably why I’m still hanging around with him.

So I can watch how he ends, not from out in the audience or up on the stage, but from back in the wings.

…Although even I know that makes me the lowest scum out there.

“Ever since then, Ladd’s had a certain policy about killing: He kills the soft ones who think they’re untouchable. A conviction that means nothing to anybody in the world but him.”

……

I’d gone on for a lot longer than I usually did.

Dammit, it’s all this Jacuzzi kid’s fault.

The guy can do what I couldn’t do.

He’s got the guts to put himself on the line for the sake of his pals.

“…”

Jacuzzi had listened to my story quietly.

He had a complicated expression on his face, but, well, that didn’t matter.

After all, I’d only told him this stuff to protect myself.

“But his past doesn’t change anything. Both of us are the lowest of the low—him and the guy who can’t stop him. I wouldn’t blame you for hating us, for cursing us and calling us names. If you want to hurt me, though, you’ll have to forgive me for hightailing it outta here.”

“U-um.”

“I talked a little too much, though. Forget most of what I told you.”

I got up from my chair as if I was making a break for it, cut Jacuzzi off before he could say anything, and hotfooted it out of that hospital room.

And when I was alone, I thought:

What about me in the end?

Had I liked Leila?

I mean, of course I’d liked her, but was it as a friend, or a human, or a heroine on the stage? Or had it been love?

It’s surprisingly hard to find out this stuff about yourself.

On the other hand, if Ladd searched, he might figure it out. Not that I’ve got the courage to ask him.

After Leila was gone, Ladd’s urge to kill kept on growing.

And then he started attracting more birds of the same feather.

There was a doll with a death wish who was even weirder than he was…and a screwy wrecker from a car factory.

I think what Lua and Ladd have is actually love. That said, Lua’s probably got no intention of putting the brakes on Ladd’s rampages.

Come to think of it, what was the wrecker’s name again? He had this huge wrench… Ahh, dammit; I know Ladd told me the day before we got on that train, but I can’t remember it.

Anyway, he was bad news. He was always muttering to himself about how stuff was sad or fun.

I’m pretty sure I heard he’s in New York now…