Berserk of Gluttony (LN) - Volume 1 - Chapter SS

Side Story:

Of Roxy and Fate 

UPON LEAVING FATE and the servants at Hart Manor, I proceeded to the kingdom’s Military District. By the time I knew about my expedition to Galia, the holy knights had already made the decision, and it was unanimous. I thought it likely the Vlericks were pulling the strings behind the scenes. 

However, I did not bear any ill will toward the Vlerick family. My father, Mason Hart, had been unable to fulfill his duty, that of holding back the encroaching monsters at the kingdom’s borders. This decision was the outcome of his death in battle; it was only natural that his daughter be made to carry out his task. 

A holy knight exists to fight for the people, and for the kingdom, and it is for that reason they are given such high status. At least, that was how it had been a long time ago. Now, the holy knights had lost their honor, and they put rank and status above all else. Now, the holy knights cared only about self-preservation, even when it came at the cost of the people they existed to protect. 

Even the five esteemed families had succumbed to this poisonous agenda. Rumors had spread that the Vlericks desired to take charge of Seifort and had enlisted the help of two other families. That left only the Hart and Barbatos families to stand against them. However, the Barbatos family head, Lord Aaron—the holy knight known as the Blade of Light—had gone into hiding for reasons unknown. All that remained of the Barbatos family now was their name and our shared pursuit of an ideal world. 

I had never met Lord Aaron myself, but I remembered the tales of his greatness my father told to me. Were the Barbatos family head to return, perhaps it would bring a new wind into the kingdom, one that would blow away the ugly air that the holy knights now possessed. 

However, it was best not to hope for that which could not come true. 

All that was left was for me to do my utmost. To do anything less, to fall to weakness, would make me less than the Roxy Hart that Fate wanted me to be. There was no way he could have remembered the moment we met five years ago, on the night I had accompanied my father all the way from our estate to the kingdom. 

At the time, I had not yet wanted to become a holy knight. 

*** 

I yawned. I was tired, and I was not yet used to parties. My father regarded me, and though his face was troubled, he spoke to me with kindness. 

“What’s wrong, Roxy?” 

“No, it’s nothing, father.” 

I tried to play it off, but my father saw through me. I felt another yawn coming but held it down. I had to remember my manners. The surrounding holy knights would not otherwise acknowledge me as the next leader of the family. 

We had come to the kingdom when I turned twelve. Now, here, I was making the rounds of the holy knight families, greeting them as the successor to the Hart family. I was introduced ad nauseum, and I engaged in meaningless conversation with more than twenty people. For the most part, I maintained a stiff smile while my father did the majority of the talking. 

At this point, I had rarely left the family estate. It was my first time in a place with so many holy knights, and I felt something different about them. Something different from the Hart family. They surveyed me as though I were an object to be valued. They were weighing what role I would play in the future. 

There was not a single person to talk to with whom I could relax, and speaking to Rafale and Hado of the Vlerick family was the absolute worst. It seemed to me that the future of the kingdom was a bleak one if a house like theirs was one of the five esteemed families. 

When the social niceties were over, I was exhausted. My mother had gone to so much trouble to prepare the white dress I wore, and yet…I wished it could have been for something different. 

My father must have noticed, for he leaned over and spoke to me. “Roxy, I think you’ve done all you need to this evening. Why don’t you head back to the manor a little early?” 

“I… Yes. I think I’ll do that, father. Excuse me…” 

My answer was curt, and I escaped the room, lively as it was with holy knights. A great weight fell from my shoulders the moment I passed through the door. I was still unaccustomed to such gatherings. To think these events would be my life for the foreseeable future… 

I informed a castle servant that I was leaving, and they brought me to a room to change. In that spacious chamber, I donned the clothes I had arrived in. They were not particularly good clothes. Even if you were being kind, you might say they were only a little nicer than what the townspeople usually wore. But it was for that reason that I loved them. They had been lovingly prepared for me by the villagers of the Hart family estate for my journey to the kingdom. 

I felt at ease shucking my elaborate white dress and donning this simpler fare. It was like returning to the estate where I was born, and to the sweet scent of grapes. 

“Well,” I said to myself, “time to head home.” 

As I left the room, I shook my head at the guards who approached, whose job it was to protect me on my way back to the manor. Even as a young girl, I still possessed the skills of a holy knight. Despite my low level, I was strong enough to take on any roaming evildoers. Besides, I wanted to walk home on my own to clear my head. 

I exited the castle and looked up at the sky. 

“My, my, it’s that time already…” 

The moon had climbed high into the night. I had been at that party for more than four hours, stuck in that boring hall, wandering around as I introduced myself. 

I left by the main gate, enjoying the cool, brisk air as I headed to the Holy Knight District. It was then that I noticed a boy walking along a side street by the gate, staring up at the moon. He was about my age, but what was he doing? Where were his parents? Feeling concerned, I called out. 

“Excuse me, it’s dangerous to walk around here at this time of night. You’d best hurry home, or your family will worry.” 

But the boy merely shook his head with a wry chuckle. “I only just arrived in the kingdom today. I don’t have a home to go back to, and my family are… Well, they’re gone…” 

I was speechless in the face of such a tragic truth. An orphan. Perhaps he was whiling the night away, staring at the moon with nowhere else to go. Yet here I was, poking my nose into matters that weren’t my business. My face went red with embarrassment. I was glad to see the clouds cover the moon, the streets falling into mild darkness. I had been the one who spoke first, yet here I was, stuck not knowing what to say next. 

“No need to worry about me,” the boy said. “But you should probably get home soon. I thought with this place being so full of holy knights, it would be safe, but it doesn’t seem so. Just a moment ago, some weird guy chased me away. I didn’t even do anything! By the time I stopped to catch my breath, I was here in front of the castle.” 

The boy scratched his head sheepishly. It was mortifying for me to hear that the kingdom was full of holy knights and still unsafe. Yet the boy was worried about me . Given my dress, he likely assumed I was just another townsperson. He would never in a million years have guessed that I possessed holy skills and would one day be a holy knight myself. 

Even then, I felt a little annoyed. “I might look like this,” I said, “but I’m pretty strong, you know!” 

“Oh, is that so?” 

“You don’t believe me, do you?” 

“No, no, I believe you just fine.” 

“I can tell by the tone of your voice that you think I’m lying!” 

The boy shook his head of scruffy hair and began to leave, as if there was nothing else left to say. His attitude and the way he held himself were cold, and yet in his tone, I sensed…something. It was the first time I’d met someone like this, and I was intrigued. 

I called out for him to stop, and when I did, his stomach grumbled. I had never heard such a sound before. It was so unexpected it made me laugh. 

“It’s so loud!” I exclaimed. 

“Don’t laugh, I can’t help it. Everyone gets hungry sometimes.” 

The boy told me he didn’t have any money, so he couldn’t afford food. This gave me an idea—a way to stop him from leaving. 

“If you accompany me, I’ll feed you. How does that sound?” 

“What? Really?” 

The simple offer brought him to my side with such excitement that the very color of his eyes seemed to change. To think he’d been trying to avoid me. I supposed boys of his age were simple at heart. 

But where to get that food…? I didn’t know any places where local townspeople ate. I thought for a time, then I asked the boy to wait as I headed back toward the castle. I explained the situation to the guard at the gate, and asked if he wouldn’t mind requesting some light snacks for me from the servants inside. The guard looked a little troubled by my request, but he knew I was the daughter of the Hart family, so he dashed into the castle. It made me worry that perhaps I was no different from the other holy knights, using my position and rank to make people do my bidding. 

I was so lost in these depressing thoughts that I didn’t notice when the guard returned with a servant, who carried a basket. 

“I’m sorry it took so long.” 

“No,” I said. “You were quite quick.” 

“As you know, all the holy knights are attending a party tonight, so…I prepared a selection of the food we intended to serve. It’s sandwiches.” 

The servant opened the basket to reveal fresh vegetables and hard-boiled egg between soft slices of bread. “Are they to your liking, miss?” 

“They look delicious. Thank you so much!” 

“It was nothing, miss! Please excuse me, I must be getting back.” 

With an astonished look on her face, the servant bowed deeply and ran back into the castle. I had only given her a simple thanks, but it seemed my reaction was unusual. Had it really become so rare for holy knights to express gratitude…? 

It wasn’t time to think about such things. Basket in hand, I hurried back to where the boy waited. I wasn’t sure he would still be there, but he was. I walked up to him and his scruffy hair and showed him my prize. 

“Here you go. Please help yourself,” I said. 

When the boy saw the sandwiches, his expression lit up. “Are you sure? I can eat all of these?” 

“Of course you can. Every last one.” 

I passed a sandwich to the boy, and nervously, gingerly, he brought it to his lips. Then he practically inhaled it. Just as his rumbling stomach had hinted, he was ravenous. 

Watching him eat so enthusiastically made me realize I was actually quite hungry myself. I’d been so busy at the party talking with the holy knights that I hadn’t been able to eat. It seemed that by talking to this boy, I was falling back into my human rhythms. 

The boy devoured sandwich after sandwich. I was flabbergasted until he spoke. 

“So do you work at the castle as, like, a maid or something?” 

“Ah… Yes, that’s correct. I’m a maid.” 

In answer to his question, I lied. I knew he would shy away if he knew I was the child of a holy knight, let alone one of the five esteemed families. So with apologies in my heart, I became a castle maid. 

“We were so busy with preparations for tonight’s party for the holy knights,” I said. “These sandwiches are leftovers.” 

“Ah, so that’s it. Holy knights get to eat delicious stuff like this all the time? Wow. Those guys get all the luck.” 

“I’m sorry…” The words seeped from me as barely more than a whisper. 

The boy tilted his head. “What are you apologizing for?” 

“Yes… What am I apologizing for?” 

The boy laughed. “You’re weird.” 

“I am a bit, aren’t I?” 

“You definitely are. A castle maid has no reason to apologize to me!” 

For a time, we sat there talking and laughing, and before I knew it the cloudy feelings I’d carried with me the entire evening had all but vanished. It was so strange…I felt so at ease talking with this boy. Hoping to understand why, I studied his face, hidden by the shadows of night. 

“Hey,” he said. “Don’t stare at me like that.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” 

The boy looked away, embarrassed. Something about that struck me as cute. I wanted to look more, but I knew he would leave if I did. I needed to change the subject. 

“What do you think of the holy knights?” I asked. “I mean, what are they like from your point of view?” 

“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?” 

“I don’t know. Just tell me, okay?” 

The boy rubbed the back of his head. “All right, all right. I mean, you did give me these sandwiches, after all. But why’re you asking me a question like that?” 

“Because I work at the castle. I want to know what people from outside the castle think about the holy knights. I’m just curious.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

The boy told me then, in two simple words, exactly what he thought. And though they were just two words, they froze me to the core. 

“They’re terrifying.” 

Of course, it was obvious. There was a titanic divide between the stats of regular citizens and the holy knights with their powerful skills. Were an ordinary person to incur the wrath of a holy knight, their life could be erased in a blink. Moreover, the rank of holy knights entitled them to do so. 

Worst of all, the holy knights were egotistical. Their way of thinking, their way of life, extended only as far as their own position. This worsened the peoples’ fear and uncertainty. This boy, immature as he was, understood as much through every mote of his being. 

I felt guilt and remorse to be one of those who frightened him so…those who possessed holy skills. Even my father and his strength couldn’t fix what the kingdom’s holy knights had become. Perhaps they would never change. 

“Hey, don’t look so sad,” the boy said. “Seifort…the kingdom, it’s not all bad. Not while there are people like you helping people like me when we’re hungry.” 

At that moment, the moon peeked out through the clouds, and the boy’s face came into focus. It was an innocent face, with just a hint of despair. It looked a little confused, and then a little sheepish, as the boy continued. “I wish more of the holy knights were like you.” 

His words gripped my heart with such strength that I forgot even to reply. 

It was infinitely more straightforward than I had thought, and it was just as the boy had said. The problem was not the state of the holy knights around me. No. What was important was how I chose to hold myself as a holy knight. My way forward was one I would forge, and it would take the shape of what I believed in. Even my smallest gesture could bring joy to a person’s face, like I had for this boy. 

“Thank you,” I said. “Because of you, I think I understand now.” 

“Uh, okay. I don’t really know what I did, but I’m glad you feel better… Well, I better get going. If I stay here too much longer, I’m going to run into a bunch of holy knights…” 

To have such a reason for leaving… The boy had run from trouble and wound up here. When he looked at the castle, he thought of the terrifying holy knights within. His stomach was satisfied now, but staying here made him anxious. It was possible the only reason he had remained as long as he had was because I had looked so depressed. It seemed, despite all he had suffered, he was kind. 

As the boy made to leave a second time, I asked him one last thing. “Please, tell me your name.” 

The boy turned back and waved his hand. “I’m Fate Graphite! Thanks for the sandwiches. So long!” 

In moments, he vanished into the kingdom’s streets. Fate… I hoped we would meet again. Then I realized I had forgotten something important. He’d told me his name, but I failed to tell him my own! 

“Oh, no…” 

When we met again, would he remember me? We couldn’t see each other in much detail in the darkness of the night, but…perhaps he would. I held this small hope in my heart as I looked up at the night sky. The stars shone brightly in the weave of evening. We had only spoken for a short time, but I hoped Fate and I might speak again one day, under the clear night sky. On that day, I wanted to be able to tell him, with pride in my heart, that I was a holy knight. I would not put the confidence he entrusted with me to waste. 

I knew that, for starters, I would need to lose my fake smiles and hold myself with more dignity. I started practicing how to stand straight and with pride. 

“Roxy? Is that you? I thought you’d already gone back to the manor… Is something wrong?” 

“Father?!” 

My father frowned at me, a puzzled expression etched upon his features. The holy knights’ party had ended. 

Oh no! He caught me in the middle of practice! It was embarrassing to be seen with my chest puffed up as I tried out my holy knight swagger. I cleared my throat and decided to pretend it never happened. “Are you on your way home already, father?” 

Father laughed. “I am. I was worried about you. It’s your first time in the kingdom and I wanted to make sure you weren’t lonely.” 

“I’m not a child anymore, father.” 

“To your parents, you will always be a child, Roxy,” my father said, smiling as he sat on a bench by the castle wall. “Did something happen?” 

That was just like my father. Even though he couldn’t see my expression in the darkness, he read my tone of voice. With a resigned sigh, I told him a little of what had happened earlier. 

“Ah, I see…” 

My father said nothing else. He simply stared up at the night sky along with me. I was certain he was waiting for me to speak again. 

I was no longer the confused girl I had been. I was the successor of house Hart, next in line as the head of the family. I had made up my mind. 

“I want to be a holy knight like you, father. A holy knight who can share happiness and joy with the people I serve!” 

My father stood, pleased to hear my commitment. He patted my head gently. “Your words make me proud! They are what make you a member of the Hart family. But you’ll have to work harder from now on, starting tomorrow.” 

“Yes, father,” I replied with my back straight and chest out. 

Everything started now, and all of it was so that, the next time I met Fate, I could be proud to tell him I was Roxy Hart, the holy knight. 

*** 

A few years later I became a holy knight, but I still hadn’t reunited with Fate. The days passed, and though Fate had roused the courage I needed to become what I was, my memory of him was fading with time, little by little. 

At that point, I was put on gatekeeping duty at the castle. It was a responsibility expected of all holy knights. However, we were also allowed to avoid it by hiring replacements, so many holy knights did, eschewing the work and leaving day laborers to take their place. 

I believed it was only proper for a holy knight to carry out their expected duties themselves. Thus, I gladly adhered to the gatekeeping schedule. It was on my very first day of duty that I met him again. Fate. 

I knew it was him before even asking his name. There was no mistaking his black hair and eyes. My heart beat nervously as I approached him. 

“Hello there. I’m Roxy Hart. I’m here to relieve you of your duties. I’ll take it from here.” 

“Uh…understood, sir! Ma’am!” 

Fate didn’t recognize me at all as he replied and bowed. He passed me the gatekeeper’s spear, adorned with the royal family’s coat of arms embroidered on its flag. It took everything I had not to let my disappointment show on my face. 

I took the spear from Fate’s hands, dejected, as he bounded away as quickly as he could, his face red. It seemed holy knights still terrified him. I was…saddened. In spite of that, however, I found reasons to talk with him, and once again he came to tell me a little about himself. 

Fate’s masters were the Vlerick family. I didn’t want to believe it…that he was a day laborer for the most notorious of the five esteemed families. In truth, I had wanted for him to become a member of the Hart family staff, but it wasn’t so easy to move against the Vlericks. They were esteemed, and if I did anything selfishly, it could cause my father trouble. I couldn’t act for purely personal reasons. 

As I brooded over what to do, the days and months went by. As they did, Fate suffered the violence of the Vlerick family’s three siblings. Even though I stopped it when I saw it, I couldn’t prevent everything. 

Five years after I first met Fate, the news arrived at Hart Manor. My father had died in the line of duty, fighting monsters in Galia. Furthermore, he had perished by the hand of the Divine Dragon, which until that time had only called the center of Galia its home, and had never traveled as far as the kingdom’s border. 

My father’s troops had been posted there, fighting the increasing waves of monsters to keep them from encroaching on our borders. Reports said the Divine Dragon had appeared in the sky, and with a single attack, it had wiped out my father, his troops, and even the monsters they had been fighting. 

There was little else you could call it but bad luck. All the same, it was…just too much for me. I locked myself in my room in the manor. I was overwhelmed with grief, and at a loss as to what I should do. At that time, his face came to mind: Fate. The boy who always seemed to keep moving forward, no matter the circumstances. 

I want to see him again, I thought, and in that thought, I once again found the courage to take my own steps forward. 

I happened to be scheduled for guard duty that day, and that meant Fate would be on duty before I started. I could see him at our shift change. I donned my armor and hurried out of the manor. When I arrived at the castle gates, however, I met the sight of Rafale and his siblings once again beating Fate. 

Blood rushed to my head, and I almost unsheathed my sword. However, such rash actions would be unforgivable for the head of the Hart family. I held down my rage, raising my voice as I moved in to stop Rafale. As a result, I succeeded in sending the Vlericks away, but what would happen next, I didn’t know. 

With my father gone, I had inherited the title of head of the Hart family. Thus, I could begin to push against certain boundaries in my way. With that in mind, I let Fate know I hoped to hire him, but I was so nervous it didn’t go as I had hoped. In the end, Fate just ran away from me. Again. I felt so stupid. I had the perfect chance to talk to him and put it entirely to waste. 

With my gatekeeper’s spear in hand, I stared up at the sky. Two hours, three hours, five hours passed, and the sky transformed the world to night. Even then, I still thought of Fate. As I did, I heard his voice. At first, I thought it was my imagination, but I soon realized it was the boy himself. 

There was a frantic expression on Fate’s face. He said he’d seen what looked like bandits. I ran to where he had seen the break-in. There, I discovered a group of people had indeed trespassed, and all of them were armed. They moved in to attack me. 

As a holy knight, these bandits were no match for me. However, they fought as a group, and one of them escaped with a light wound. I chased him down only to find Fate had finished him off. He stood shaking next to the dead body. It must have been his first time killing another person. 

I ran over and took his hand, realizing he was shaking much more than I thought. He was not the sort of person suited to this kind of brutality, and I regretted leaving him to protect the gate while I was gone. 

I could not let this go on any longer. This time, I would bring him to my side. I gathered my wits, and I made him an offer. However, in truth, it was only half for Fate himself. The other half was for me. 

I wanted him to be my courage time and again, as he had ever since we met. 

In this way, Fate became a servant of the Hart family manor, and I could see out my duties as the holy knight Roxy Hart. It was a time of great joy for me as we snuck into the kingdom’s town for an inspection and visited the Hart estate together. 

But those days, and those times, were at an end. Fate had given me a surplus of courage, and I knew I would carry it with me, in my heart, to Galia. 

I gripped the pendant made from the blue jewel Fate had bought me. 

“It’ll be okay,” I whispered. 

The gates of the Military District opened at my arrival. Within, an army awaited my orders, prepared for our expedition to Galia. 

“I can do this. I know I can do this. So please, Fate…wait for me.” 

It was up to me now to be the holy knight he expected me to be.