By the Grace of the Gods (LN) - Volume 9 - Chapter 16

Chapter 6 Episode 16: God of Fishing and Ports, Part 1

“So, have I made myself clear?”

“Crystal. Though I can’t make any promises.”

“Good enough. I know you have your moral woes... Wait, what were we talking about?”

“Um... I was asking why you wanted to see me, Serelipta.”

“Oh, right! You asked if it was because you were entertaining, and I was like, you’re such a bore...”

“Yes.”

“Right, right. Anyway, I summoned you because you intrigued me. Not necessarily entertained.”

I was starting to get it. This god kept mentioning the entertainment value (or lack thereof) of my life, but he didn’t mean any insult by it. He just seemed to have no filter. “What about me intrigued you, Serelipta?”

“How do I put this... Gain told me about a new kid in the world, but I caught a glimpse of you when you came into the village you’re in and thought that we might be alike, you and I.”

“What exactly do you mean, Serelipta?”

“Just call me Serel. It’s not like we have company.”

“All right, Serel. What do you mean?”

“Let’s see...” He sat in thought for ten seconds. “How do you think we’re alike?”

He was turning out to be a tiresome conversation partner... How were we similar? I dug for a similarity between us that I could have caught in the short time we’d been acquainted.

“We both like to stay indoors?”

“You got that from my looks, didn’t you? Well, it’s not exactly wrong.”

“We’re both pretty insensitive and don’t know when to shut up?”

“I won’t deny that... But you’re not getting any warmer.”

“We’re both antisocial?”

“You’re quite a little smartass for a mortal, you know that? I mean, none of those are wrong per se, but I’m talking about something deep down...”

Deep down?

“Humans always have some part of themselves they don’t understand... Maybe this is yours? Even through conversations, some things float to the surface and others don’t... Our compass, or like, the depths of ourselves? Hmm... It’s so hard to put it into words... I’ve never spoken to a human this much before...”

I guessed that he was trying to explain the concept of the unconscious.

“The foundation of thoughts and emotions, basically. It’s the same for humans and gods.”

“I understand the gist of it. You’re saying that our foundations are similar?”

“Right. Similar, but not identical, mind you... My principle, to put it in pithy terms, is ‘survival of the fittest.’ You can relate to that, can’t you?”

“Do you think so?”

“Not clicking yet? Okay, real talk.” Serelipta had been floating before me, posing as if he was leaning back on a chair. Now, he shifted to look like he was lying on the ground, resting his chin in his hands...while still floating in the water, of course.

He kept talking like he was going through talking points in a presentation; it wasn’t exactly a two-way conversation.

“Oh, am I talking too much?” Serelipta asked.

“No, I just... You read my mind. I’m just a bit taken aback by your enthusiasm.”

“Good. I told you already that I rarely talk to humans, let alone other gods.”

He seemed talkative, but unaware of social cues. Either that, or he just couldn’t help but blurt out every thought that crossed his mind. In any case, he seemed like the type who wasn’t good at communication, despite how talkative he was. That wasn’t a rare trait, though (at least when it came to humans).

“Thanks for understanding,” he said. “Let’s get back on track. You kept your sparkly new pearl slime a secret from that boy who’s been helping you. Why?”

With a coy crook of the neck like that, he could be easily mistaken for a teenage girl.

With a bit of uneasiness, I answered truthfully. “I didn’t know its exact value, but I guessed it was valuable. Nikki’s still a kid, so I figured it would be safer if he didn’t know about it. No way for that information to get out.”

“I think you guessed right. Pearls are more valuable than you think in this world. Especially in Rifall, where they haven’t discovered how to harvest them. If you were to start selling them, plenty of people would try to suss out where the jewels were coming from, and many of them would try to take over such a profitable operation. Of course, you can’t expect all of them to limit themselves to legal, nonviolent options in pursuit of that end... You do have trustworthy merchants in your social circle, and the powerful Duke in your corner. You’d be able to fend off most attackers by yourself, anyway. Can’t say the same for this Nikki kid, though. The villagers might be able to protect him from a petty thief or two, but he wouldn’t stand a chance against underground guilds or morally questionable nobles.”

Serel rattled off a bunch of hypothetical tragic outcomes, all the while maintaining his smile. “You’ve got good foresight, Ryoma.”

“I suppose... Wouldn’t anyone be wary when a lot of money is involved? In my previous life, for example, I’ve heard that banks would warn lottery winners about who they shared that information with.”

Serelipta suddenly burst out laughing. Did I say something weird?

“Sorry, sorry... Can’t you tell? Or are you just playing dumb?”

“Uh, please explain?”

“Oh, right. Let’s see... You say ‘anyone,’ but you’d be surprised how many people wouldn’t do what you did. For example, in most human societies, people are expected to greet each other, respect their elders, stuff like that. But aren’t there a good number of people who get in trouble for not doing those things?”

“That’s true... I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of reminders to do those things.”

“Right. Important as they may be, humans can be surprisingly negligent when it comes to doing what ‘you’re supposed to do.’ Even with your example of the lottery winners, the only reason the banks started warning winners was because too many of them didn’t do what they were supposed to and keep their mouths shut, right? Of course, there still must be people who don’t heed those warnings regardless.”

That all made sense, but something was still bugging me. Weren’t we talking about how a part of my “compass” was “survival of the fittest?”

“This is still relevant,” Serel continued. “It’s all about keeping your guard up. The prospect of earning a fortune made you naturally wary of those who may come to take it from you. Keeping your guard up is crucial for survival. No living creature would live very long if they didn’t; they’d be easy prey. Take the two former assassins you’ve hired. You noticed that they were concealing weapons before you even hired them, right? Putting aside why they were carrying them, it’d be an important skill for an assassin to be able to conceal his arms. I mean, you’d be a pretty piss-poor assassin if everybody in the general vicinity could spot your weapon without squinting. The two guys you hired aren’t complete idiots, are they? Of course not. That’s how much you, maybe subconsciously, keep your guard up day-to-day. Survival of the fittest is the only rule in the wild. Humans may consider themselves separate from other animals, but they’re all the same to me. I mean, they’re all walking the same planet. Only real difference is in how they live. For example...”

His mutterings seemed to echo loudly in my ears.

“You make all sorts of things and know all sorts of weird things. Why is that?”

The question seemed out of place, almost unrelated. Still, I definitely felt the increase in my heart rate from it. “Well, maybe it’s because I’ve done all sorts of work... I’ve always done my research on anything I was curious about. In my past life, we had something very convenient called the internet, so that made it easy.”

“You’ve had quite the non-linear career.”

“Not sure I’d word it like that, but I guess it’s accurate.”

“So you’ve quit, or were fired from, all of those jobs, right?”

“Uh, yes?”

What was going on? It was a straightforward question, but some indescribable feeling—nervousness, or perhaps anxiety—curdled inside of me.

“You’ve gone through quite a few different jobs. I won’t get into the specifics of each one, but just answer me this: were you always happy to leave your job?”

“Well...” My head was boiling with a strange sort of emotion.

“Of course you weren’t. From what I’ve heard, humans need a good reason to quit their job.”

It was definitely true that I hadn’t always been happy to leave a job.

“You’ve experienced your fair share of that,” Serel added.

Indeed, he had a number of examples to name. Feeling almost persecuted after relationships with my coworkers worsened. Or being accused of something I had never done. Or being berated and fired without even being told a reason. Or because it was more convenient for my boss to fire me than keep me around. Or because the company had gone under. Or...

With Serel’s every word, scenes from the past flickered before me. I felt sick, like I was being thrown into a riptide.

“I’m sorry,” Serel said. “Guess I triggered some unpleasant memories.” While I was concentrating on trying to settle my churning stomach, Serelipta had floated near me, and embraced me. He continued whispering, as if to console a child. “But you know, all that stuff’s a part of you. Even though you’re physically strong, you’re the runt of society, and your experiences have left scars on your soul. You can’t expect that all to go away just because you’ve been living in the woods for... How long has it been again? Oh, right, three years going on four. Living without a care in the world for a few years won’t reset your conscience.”

But now, his voice seemed to calm me with every breath.

“How long do you think it takes to heal a traumatized human’s heart?” Serel asked. “It depends on the individual and the severity of their trauma, of course, but many humans deal with that kind of trauma all of their life. It’s a bit inconsiderate to think that three years’ rest was plenty of time, or that you’re not good enough for still hurting... Even if you’re the only one telling yourself that. You should take care of yourself more. You thought you forgot all about the woes of your past life after a fun four years in this world, right? I can understand why you’d want to convince yourself of that. I’m sure your life has been easier here than it was before. But it just means you’re in remission. One little poke, and your traumas can come flooding back just like that. It looks like you’ve already been reminded of your previous life from time to time, anyway.”

I felt all that just from remembering my previous life? Something wasn’t right... But I was feeling so comfortable now...

“You know it deep down too,” said Serel. “Remember? You told Gain your wish, didn’t you? That you wanted to live away from other people, to live freely in nature. That was your desire, right?”

“Well...”

That was completely true. There was no arguing that.

“There you have it. You should have stayed in that forest. That way, you would’ve truly been free... Gain threw you into a half-assed environment, so you were tossed back into human society before your heart could heal.”

“Now wait a minute!”

“Didn’t mean anything by it. No offense to the duke or the others. They took you in—a child they had no relation or obligation to—and looked after you. As far as humans go, they’re as good as they come. I know that. But in the end, you still left them.”

I started to feel sick again, even worse than earlier. I wanted to say something in their defense, but the words wouldn’t come out. This no longer qualified as a conversation, but still he kept talking.

“Plus, you don’t have any human allies. You’re friendly with the people you meet wherever you go, but the only ones you keep around for all of your adventures are your familiars. With your powers, there must be plenty of humans eager to form a party with you, no matter your appearance. You could have easily talked to any of the adventurers you know. As soon as you set up shop in a town, you never stick around because you scurry off to do more training... It’s definitely an unconscious thing, so let me enlighten you a little. You desperately crave human companionship, but at the same time, it terrifies you.”