Captivated by You - Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It was now 8pm in Beijing, and Mo Lan was very fidgety at this very moment. The reason… because Ninth Heavens Dubbing Group YY’s 7th Anniversary Celebration had already started at 7:30pm, where else she was still anxiously rushing to finish her manuscript.

The editor-in-chief just called her and asked her to submit her manuscript two days earlier for this week, although Mo Lan was reluctant in her heart, but she still grudgingly agreed after negotiating. After she agreed, the immediate consequence was that she totally overestimated herself, she rushed the whole afternoon, and she haven’t finished even up until now.

Time trickled by bit by bit, at lightning speed Mo Lan penned words with both her hands on the keyboard while staring at the time in the lower right corner of the computer screen.

It was almost 9pm…

Mo Lan really wanted to first open Ninth Heavens’ YY channel, and write as she listened, but rationality told her, that if she really opened it, she reckoned she probably wouldn’t be able to submit her manuscript.

According to her previous experience of squatting for the 4th anniversary celebration, Secretly Captivated usually appeared in the second half of the anniversary celebration. It was unlikely that she would missed it, Mo Lan thought so in her heart and sped up her typing tempo.

It was said that a burst of inspiration usually comes by pressure and it actually wasn’t misleading. At 10:05pm, Mo Lan finally sent this week’s manuscript to the editor’s inbox, then she wore her headphones, and impatiently opened Ninth Heavens’ official YY channel.

Entering now… she wondered if she would be able to catch the last segment.

29000 people, and the number still continously rose minute by minute. Mo Lan just entered the channel and saw the up-to-date number of people present, although she was already mentally prepared, she was still a little shocked when she saw this number. Mo Lan couldn’t help but thought silently in her heart that everyone was really united, and fortunately she didn’t use the campus network.

Continuing on, the voice of Honey Lemon came out of the headphones, she sounded very animated: “The lucky children from just now, the gifts you have won will be sent out soon, when the moment comes remember to verify your address with us ya.”

Gift?

Mo Lan 囧 for a moment, did that mean, she had already missed the fans-getting-gifts segment. All right, that’s okay, as long as she didn’t missed Secretly Captivated’s part.

“Next, let’s invite Xiao Luo Bo to hurry up and come on the mic. Don’t hide le I am talking about you!”

Honey Lemon just stopped and Bai Yu Luo Bo’s voice transferred through the headphones, soft and velvety, very carefree, it brought a hint of reluctance. He sang…《Hanging Oneself On The Southeast Branch*》.

(If you want to listen to the actual song. It’s suppose to mean to sacrifice oneself for love. It’s from a poem. Mo Lan uses that line alot.)

“Grandpa and Madame heard girl coming, chose to personally visit clear pond
Older sister heard younger sister coming, hanged oneself on the southeast branch
Younger brother heard older sister coming, the pipa halted wishing for delayed speech
Scowled coldly at many people, safely able to recognise I’m the mighty female”

…

Mo Lan glanced at the public forum, everyone as expected was of one voice, everybody was roasting.

“I know you’re female, don’t need to ask anymore!”

“Xiao Luo Bo, you’re not in the least incompatible with this song.”

“Letting you sing《Hanging Oneself 》was the right choice! Already recorded!”

《Hanging Oneself On The Southeast Branch》wasn’t sung entirely, it ended with Bai Yu Luo Bo forgetting the lyrics.

As soon as the accompaniment stopped, Bai Yu Luo Bo began to staunchly defend himself: “Haven’t I already said that I didn’t want to sing 《Hanging Oneself 》, told you I can’t keep up with the lyrics tempo okay, all of these people just know how to bully me.”

In a flash, the public forum widely flooded widely by the natural mother’s heart, one by one mollified him.

(So, not sure if you knew this or if it’s helpful, there are different levels of fans. The mothers i.e. older woman, the older sisters i.e. older than the person by a few years, the girlfriends i.e. those at the appropriate age for the idol – I think normally a few years younger, and I think there should be the younger demographic too but I’m not sure/don’t remember what they’re called. This is generalising but it seems to be about the same)

Over there, Bai Yu Luo Bo just finished singing and went off the mic, over here, Su Qingmo followed right after and went on the mic, sang《Head High Towards Northwest》. In short, they were all relatively cheerful and relatively absurd songs, and it really fit the atmosphere of the anniversary.

Waves after waves of flowers were sent on the public forum, everybody was as passionate and unrestrained as the water that flooded Jinshan, Mo Lan’s pair of eyes almost couldn’t stand it while she went through the forum.

It was just a pity that after Su Qingmo finished singing, the host’s voice appeared.

Secretly Captivated indeed still haven’t sung.

Mo Lan carefully glanced at the mic sequence again, it came as no surprise that he wasn’t there.

It has been three hours since the anniversary celebration began, according to the situation from the past few years, normally at this time, Secretly Captivated will go on to the mic to speak. Whether was it a play, a recitation or a blessing, in short, he should have already arrived by now.

Today… what was the situation?

Or… had he already been here?

No way right, Mo Lan lamented in her heart, thought chaoticly for a long time in her head, and still unable to restrained herself and sent him a WeChat message:

Momo: T^T I was rushing my manuscript and arrived late, you wouldn’t have already came off the mic right?

She waited patiently for about five minutes, the other party did not respond.

He shouldn’t have slept already right?

Ever since Mo Lan became Secretly Captivated’s fan, she was only able to squat once for Ninth Heavens 4th Anniversary Celebration, later, Secretly Captivated went into hiding, as for the next three anniversary celebration years, he never reappeared again. Even though the first thing he always did would be to send out his blessings on Weibo, but compared to actually hearing his actual voice on YY, Weibo could really be ignored.

Just when Mo Lan was very worried, she saw that the fans on the public forum started being agitated, all of them were posting about Secretly Captivated.

“It’s already half past ten, Mi Da where are you, my mother is already rushing me to go sleep!”

“Still not here at this hour, too unrational ah…”

“Secretly Captivated Secretly Captivated Secretly Captivated, I like you, did you know*????!!!”

(我宣你你造嗎 wǒ xuān nǐ nǐ zào ma – Taiwan internet slang – xuan is a combination of xi huan which means like while zao is a combination of zhi dao which means know – so a literal translation would be i like you you know. Interesting fact of the day for me.)

“Male god, if you still don’t come out the dorm is going to shut the network soon*, I only came after night self-study, mind very tired T^T”

(Dorms in schools/university have a lights/internet/electricty out time so as to discourage students from staying up all night)

One of the hosts, Shui Shui Ruo Er saw everybody’s comments and cleared her throat, her voice was unconvincingly pacifying: “Ahem sigh, well, I can understand everybody’s impatient mood, but… but Mi Da really haven’t arrived yet, and we can’t reach him, not sure if something came up at work at the last minute, everybody please wait patiently.” After a pause, she renewed her spirit once again and continued to host. “Now, the anniversary celebration have also basically arrived at the last segment, next, our last cliche topic is, let’s invite all of Ninth Heavens CVs here to discuss about their thoughts on joining Ninth Heavens, at least 120 seconds per person. Um, Xiao Luo Bo you can go first.”

Hearing Shui Shui Ruo Er mentioned it, Mo Lan’s heart now settled down, Secretly Captivated hasn’t arrived yet, luckily.

In the headphones, Bai Yu Luo Bo voice was somewhat unenthusiastic and reluctant: “Why in the world am I the first one again, I haven’t prepared my speech yet. Err… regarding Ninth Heavens, en, let me first explain why I joined the group. At that time, I just started my second year of high school, maybe because normally the pressure of studying is quite big, dubbing became one of my normal ways to reliev stress, in those days I would regularly record random PaPa and post it online, later there were people who asked me why didn’t I become a CV, I baidu-ed* and felt that it could be quite fun and interesting. As for why I chose Ninth Heavens… ahem, of course it was because Ninth Heavens was the most famous then, we’re humans, definitely want to aim for the highest. Actually, I’m considered as one of the latecomers among all the CVs in Ninth Heavens, I was quite nervous when I first joined the group, after all I was just a small transparent light at that time, I was also quite worried that nobody would care and that I would have no sense of existence. However after connecting, each and every person was very good to me, absolutely not as high and mighty as the outside rumours mentioned.”

(google-ed)

He paused for a moment, then, he said a little bit nostalgicly, “Now that I’m a second-year university student, time really passed by quite quickly, in short, I’m really thankful that Ninth Heavens gave me such an opportunity allowing me to do what I like, and I’m also very thankful for all of your support throughout this journey. Dubbing… I’m not sure how long will I be here for, but I will try hard to be here a little longer.”

Bai Yu Luo Bo’s voice was still soft and velvety, compared to his normal clear, bright and flamboyant voice, this was much calmer for no reason at all, he slowed down, as if he was arranging his words while speaking, indescribably made people felt somewhat moved.

“Xiao Luo Bo, how come you’re so moving this year? Your thoughts last year on joining Ninth Heavens wasn’t it because it’s awesome [beep—-]*, all of a sudden you changed your painting style making me quite hard to adapt.”

(牛【嗶——】niú [bì——] – lit. cow [beep—–] – it was written like that in the raws so I think the words were censored. I googled the two words together and even if only niu was used, it’s still slang for awesome.)

“Luo Bo me me da, I’m your true love fangirl! Even though your dramas comes out awfully slowly, but I won’t abandon you too because of this!”

“Such moving words could unexpectedly come out of your mouth, I must have switch it on the wrong way”

Mo Lan, who was a little moved just a moment ago, saw everybody’s comments on the public screen, in the split second, it just destroyed the atmosphere.

Bits of Bai Yu Luo Bo’s hair began to explode* as well: “Hey hey hey, you guys are too much all right? With great difficulty, I was totally devoted in telling you my heartfelt words, the atmosphere got completely destroyed by you, what’s the truth about the world? Forget it, I had better go off mic.”

(Remember the explode hair phrase in one of the previous chapters? I found out it refers to when hair/feathers of an animal stands upright when they’re frightened or upset. So it generally refers to the strong reaction of people who are prone to large fluctuations in their emotions after a little stimulation i.e. not calm.)

After he finished speaking, he really got off the mic and instantly disappeared from the mic sequence.

The second person who went on the mic was Su Qingmo.

He also seemed to be utterly at a loss, with a little helplessness in his steady, mellow and rich voice: “To be honest, every year I have to share two minutes of my thoughts, it’s almost the same words year in year out, I’ve nearly used up all of my words.”

With a low chuckle, it instantly made people feel quite at ease, Su Qingmo hesitated for a moment, then spoke in a low and unhurried voice, “If I were to count it, I’m probably one of the earliest oldest person to join the group, later those who joined the group at the same time as me left one after another, when I found out they were going to leave the group, I was very reluctant, yet for a short time I felt that I couldn’t understand, after all we had all once passionately loved dubbing. The only difference was perhaps the depth of our love, afterwards I gradually figured out, seeing everybody also have their own life, dubbing was merely a hobby. Furthermore, for a long time now, there have always been many people asking me if I would dub commercially, regarding this question… if my working hours allowed, I think I would be quite willing. Lastly, I’m very glad to be able to make so many friends in this circle, even though everybody knows that the Internet Voice Circle isn’t the clean and lofty kind of circle, but Ninth Heavens will forever be that Ninth Heavens.”

“Ninth Heavens will forever be that Ninth Heavens + 1”

“Ninth Heavens will forever be that Ninth Heavens +2”

“Ninth Heavens will forever be that Ninth Heavens +3”

“Beg don’t split the group, wanna cry T^T”

Mo Lan calmly listened to Su Qingmo’s deep voice drifted through her headphones word by word, and also became somewhat emotional.

Su Qingmo was planning to join commercial dubbing.

In fact, there was nothing wrong with that, after joining commercial dubbing, it just meant that you can start dubbing in the 3D world, you can’t say for sure when you switched on the TV later, and opened a certain drama channel, once the male lead opened his mouth, you would hear precisely that person’s very familiar voice.

There would no longer be the need to be confined to the 2D Internet Voice Circle, you could step into reality and walk to the front of the stage, getting even more people to recognize you and to let them hear your voice.

This was probably the dream of every internet dubbing CV.

But, Secretly Captivated… what did he think?

Mo Lan was still shaking in her senses, when the next speaker already started speaking.

The person speaking now was a male CV named Sima Qingshan who joined the Ninth Heavens Dubbing Group not long ago, currently he still belonged to the little pink* state, but recently his popularity shot up very quickly and he was considered as a rising star.

(小粉紅 xiǎo fěn hóng – refers to the younger generation (post 90s) of patriotic netizens in China, whose main activity area is the Internet, stimulated by popular culture)

“Well, this is my first time attending Ninth Heavens’ anniversary celebration, am a little nervous, but not long after I joined Ninth Heavens then it was the anniversary celebration, I’m also pretty lucky. Speaking of why I would have come into contact with internet dubbing, it was really by chance, my girlfriend particularly likes Secretly Captivated, her mobile was full of his radio drama and sound recordings, so long as there’s free time then she’ll start talking about him beside my ear. It was possible that I was a little jealous and wanted to make mischief, I later went online and started researching Secretly Captivated’s name, and randomly listened to one of his radio drama. Hai, there’s nothing much to say after that, his voice was truly beautiful, I admitted defeat. At that time I felt that it was quite wonderful, the first time I was aware that there was such a thing as internet dubbing, I happened to come upon Ninth Heavens’ recruitment ad, I carried a let’s-try-and-see attitude to the audition, never really actually expected to be recruited. En, because this is only my first year, so I don’t really have anything to say, my hope is for Ninth Heavens to become even better in the future, and I also hope that I can be even better in the future too.”

Mo Lan listened to his voice, and was rather surprised to discover how familiar it sounded, after thinking over and over, after a long time, she finally reacted fairly unbelievably, Sima Qingshan’s voice… when she helped Rong Xiaxia with her store the other day, the couple who quarelled in the shop, the male’s voice was almost exactly the same.

There really wouldn’t be such a coincidence in this world right?

But… because the girlfriend was part of the Internet Voice Circle, it was truly quite romantic.

All right, all these wasn’t the main point, the main point was — Secretly Captivated still hasn’t arrived yet.

The public forum was now being brushed faster and faster, even Mo Lan’s thoughts started to waver a little, he wouldn’t really… not come right?

As she contemplated, in her headphones, a voice suddenly appeared, low, very calm, kind of hoarse, nevertheless it was unexpectedly pleasant, as soon as he spoke, he instantly captured everybody’s train of thought.

“Sorry, I had to work overtime at the last moment, that’s why I’m late.”

It was Secretly Captivated.

Mo Lan was bewildered all of a sudden.

She couldn’t say what she was feeling, but she suddenly felt at this point in time, that all of her three immortal souls and seven mortal forms have returned to where they belonged. He merely definitely only just said a few words, but she already felt that the whole person was unequivocally perfect.

The public forum also paused for a moment, immediately following, everybody flared up, they started flooding even more violently, the speed was so quick that Mo Lan almost completely couldn’t even read the words, she could only watch everybody’s comments scrolled by, line by line.

“Mi Da, you’re finally here! I can now give up the internet and close my eyes and die contentedly!”

“Too! Beautiful! To! Listen!”

“I just knew you would definitely come! Very happy! Foolishly happy ying ying ying!”

Shui Shui Ruo Er’s voice finally had a sense of relief, she sighed and said a little aggrievedly: “Mi Da you’re finally here, I wouldn’t know how to explain to them* if you didn’t come tonight. It just happen that it’s almost the end of the anniversary celebration, we did say each person have 2 minutes, but since you’re late, shouldn’t you take the initiative to increase it to 3 minutes?”

(The author used a female them)

“Three minutes… my two minutes from each year, I have never filled it up before.” Hearing Shui Shui Ruo Er’s words, Secretly Captivated answered, his tone carried to some degree a smiling expression, seemingly rather helpless. He was silent for a while, and then said somewhat indolently: “Oh… speaking of it, I haven’t joined Ninth Heavens’ anniversary celebration for three years, kinda miss it. Originally the reason I announced that I wasn’t accepting new works was largely due to my busy job, there was enormous pressure, it was very difficult to find the time to balance the two. I could only come back now—“

He spoke until there, then he paused for a few seconds, afterwards, he unexpectly laughed quietly, very light, very indifferent, low, it was as if a flower slowly blossomed in your heart, Mo Lan was in a daze, she nearly suffocated in his laughter.

It seemed that she was also bewitched by his laughter, Shui Shui Ruo Er hesitated for a bit, she didn’t wait for Secretly Captivated to continue, she couldn’t help but summoned the courage to asked: “Mi Da, when I was at Flower Burial SAMA’s song party, you said before, that you came back only because you wanted to stand a bit taller, to then be seen by that person. Did you know that this matter has now become a part of our secret worries… seeking for Mi Da to decode, that person you’re referring to, ultimately who is she?”

There was a few seconds of silence in the channel.

Then, Secretly Captivated low voice echoed through:

“I can’t say yet, but, I believe that person have already seen me.” He replied quietly, distinct and aloof, like the sound of jade generally flowed and touched, and yet it was enveloped by the partially hazy cloud of tenderness.

Her heartbeat accelerated, his voice so beautiful that Mo Lan practically wanted to cry, she held her headphones tightly against her ear, wanting SC’s voice to be a little clearer, a little clearer again.

As expected on the public forum, it has now been dominated by replies such as “ears are pregnant”, “blood trough is empty”, and “Mi Da I want to give birth to your child” etc.

Another host, Honey Lemon also had difficulty opening her mouth: “Mi Da, I also want to give birth to your child, your voice is simply so pleasant that it causes one to show their finger, one won’t get tired of it no matter how long one listens… sigh, well, since you don’t want to say then we’ll just skip over this question, after all everybody have their own secrets, and everybody would also understand right?”

Shui Shui Ruo Er also returned back to her senses: “Then skip it! But Mi Da, although your voice is pleasant, but you haven’t even spoke for one minute, hurry up and continue, don’t think you can deceive us and just finish like that.”

Secretly Captivated was quiet for a while, then, he seemed a bit helpless and continued: “I really don’t know what to say, en… although dubbing is my passion, but if I were to announce my withdrawal from the circle next time, I’ll probably never come back again, I’m really sorry, I hope everyone understands.”

He just finished speaking, in a flash the public forum filled with mournful whines of the geese*.

(哀鴻遍野 āi hóng biàn yě – idiom – fig land swarming with disaster victims/ starving people fill the land)

“Male god even if it’s true don’t say it out loud… my girl’s heart have been completely broken to pieces T^T”

“It doesn’t matter if you withdraw, I did already feel that I’ve earned since the time you announced that you’re accepting new works.”

“Being able to listen to your voice is in itself exactly a very blessed thing all right QVQ, withdrawing etc, no pressure at all.”

…

“I don’t know when you would belong to another person, although I’m really jealous of her, but as long as you are happy then it’s all good.”

Although the comments on the public forum went by very quickly, but Mo Lan still vaguely saw the last comment.

Belong to another person?

Her hand which held the mouse stopped for a moment, she thought back to that comment, Mo Lan also suddenly felt a bit wistful. A very long time ago, they have already discussed on Tieba and Weibo, saying, if they could listen to Secretly Captivated everyday, a good morning in your ears in the morning, singing you to sleep at night, in that case, you would surely be the happiest person in the world.

Don’t know who would be the lucky person, gaining her second half of life.

“Oh… let’s not talk about this, for the last minute, I’ll sing a short opera song for you to listen, just take it as an apology for todays’ late arrival.” In the headphones, his low voice sounded, somewhat indolent, somewhat tender, yet a little husky.

Suddenly, Mo Lan returned to her senses, she couldn’t help but frowned.

The current him… should be exhausted.

Being an anesthesiologist was such an exhausting job, and after working overtime he still needed to go on YY to give a speech.

Her heart seemed to twitched, Mo Lan inexplicably felt her heart a little distressed.

However apart from her, everybody’s attention was all on Secretly Captivated’s words “sing a short opera song” from just a moment ago.

Honey Lemon spoke, her voice very excited, she couldn’t contained that bit of constant quiver: “Mi Da… are you for real? Sing? Dang, what day is today, you have never ever sang since you’ve joined the Internet Voice Circle all right! I seriously did gain, I want to go buy lottery tickets ao ao ao!”

The public forum have already been thoroughly maxed out.

Mo Lan listened calmly, without typing, and suddenly felt a bit of hidden happiness. After all… she has heard Secretly Captivated sang before.

Secretly Captivated did not speak, after a bit, he opened his mouth, the first line, everybody held their breath:

“Rain falling
Until fire and blood are silent
There’s no one who remembers there was ever a you
Snow can’t wait
Burying the silent secrets
Don’t go and touch the flowers that grew out of the bones of the dead
How many shattered frames flashed momentarily
Don’t forget the silent cliff in the night
Wandering and getting lost are the price of forgetting
The smile flickers like breathing
The sun rises and the moon sets in your eyes
Trekking across mountains and fording across rivers for many centuries
Chasing after the trace of existence”

He sang《Immortal》, a fan song for Zhang Qiling from《Grave Robbers’ Chronicles》.

Without any music, he just sang acapella, his voice very distinct, through her headphones, all of the words echoed straight into Mo Lan’s ears.

Each syllable and word was still grasped perfectly, the bass forbearing and staunched, the treble clear, melodious and gorgeous, just by listening, it was as if right before one’s eyes one could see an indifferent man wearing a hoodie quietly walking out step by step, tenacious, persistent, persevered looking for his memory.

Zhang Qiling was a person without a past or a future.

It was truly… an extremely emotional picture.

Secretly Captivated’s voice was very magnetic, his notes did not lack even a fraction of accuracy, contrarily the emotion was brought to the point of perfection, an extra dose of strong resentment, and less a point of indifference.

Although Mo Lan have listened to him sing two songs, but under his first acappella, she still couldn’t breathe while her heart palpitated and she couldn’t come back to her senses for a long time.

The last line ended, Secretly Captivated’s voice stopped, then, he spoke, his voice calmed and indifferent, so tranquiled that it made people lose their head, choosing to conceal all of his emotions.

He spoke, “He clearly understood everything but he was incapable of understanding himself.”

His low voice accompanied the gentle sigh.

Just in that particular moment, Mo Lan absent-mindedly thought that the person who currently spoke, was that Zhang Qiling of Temple Heaven from Changbai Mountain.

Coming to the end of his monologue, that perfect feel of the drama, absolutely a sec-kill.

Even the tip of her heart followed the voice to gently sighed while slightly trembled, fluttered up and down, oblivious elsewhere.

In her headphones, Scretly Captivated spoke softly: “It’s nearly time, let’s stop here ba.”

So beautiful, but… it was too brief, only a verse.

Everyone finally came back, the flooding of the screen so fast that even Mo Lan was almost stuck.

“Male god were you the one that actually sang just now QVQ, I just know that my male god didn’t sing not because he couldn’t sing!

“Those who said you’re tone deaf – I’ll finally be able to righteously* go and fight them next time, very happy ying ying ying!”

(理直气壮 lǐ zhí qì zhuàng – idiom: in the right and self confidently – bold and confident with justice on one’s side/ to have the courage of one’s convictions/ just and forceful)

“Kneeling to beg male god to sing another verse!!”

“Why his singing is also so nice? Mi Da you’re breaking the rules, you know? T^T”

Mo Lan, who was still immersed in his singing, after being in a dazed for a long time, she eventually reacted with hindsight, since the beginning, the songs that Secretly Captivated sang, was coincidentally songs that she liked, moreover she had previously mentioned those ancient-style songs on Weibo.

《The Empty City》,《A Cup Of Joy》,《Immortal》.

Was it coincidence?

Or… after he actually looked at her Weibo, he purposely chose them?

Biting her lips while indulging in flights of fancy, suddenly, Mo Lan saw her phone screen lighted up, she unlocked it, it was really Secretly Captivated’s WeChat message:

GYM: There was a late surgery at the last minute, so go sleep after listening to the song.

Mo Lan’s face instantly turned red completely.

“Sleep after listening to the song, good night.”

She had previously posted on Weibo, saying that recently she couldn’t sleep if she didn’t listen to songs or radio drama. So… these words were for her?

Her mind couldn’t help thinking of that day, the biting cold wind on a winter’s day on the streets, he sent her home, they walked all the way from Xinjiekou to Gulou District.

He stood beside her, talked to her with a smile in his eyes, matched her pace, so warm that it almost made her think that at that time the flowers were blooming during the warm spring season.

Naturally, Mo Lan’s head grew big, that was the first time she walked side by side with a person of the opposite sex on such a long road, but she did hope that that short path would be a bit longer, just a bit longer.