4
It was now night.
Ai Fa and I once again found ourselves sitting in the vacant house at the Ruu settlement.
My clan head had been insistent that tonight we would finally be returning to the Fa house, but Donda Ruu had declared that it would be safer to simply remain here until the 15th of the white month.
“The Fa house is removed from any other homes, isn’t it? Are you really saying you could protect your clan member all on your own, even if the place was surrounded by dozens of enemies?”
When faced with that comment, even Ai Fa couldn’t do anything more than bite her lip in frustration.
And currently, those lips were pouting just about as much as they possibly could. As she sat there leaned up against the wall while cradling one knee and turning away in a sulk, I was sad to say that she looked more like an adorable child rather than a dignified clan head.
However, there was one more big cause for Ai Fa’s bad mood. Which is to say, there were four other people here with us in the vacant house: Ludo and Shin Ruu, Bartha, and Leito. We were not only ordered to stay here in the Ruu settlement, but also to spend the night under the same roof as this group.
“Man, wouldn’t it be better if you two just stayed at the main house? Even my old man said it’d be safer that way. After all, we’re already in charge of keeping an eye on this pair,” Ludo Ruu said, but of course Ai Fa didn’t agree. I was pretty sure her mood only worsened in proportion to how many people she had to share a house with.
Well, at any rate, I was honestly uneasy too.
“Hmph. Still, this sure is a gathering of adorable faces. Were you trying to give a warm welcome to this young widow, or something?” Bartha said with a hearty laugh from her position in the center of the room, then she took a swig of fruit wine. I had a few hours by this point to grow accustomed to her appearance, but I still couldn’t believe I was looking at a woman.
Everybody criticized me back when I had mistaken Diel for a boy, but this time around I figured nobody would blame me.
Anyway, to start with she was just plain big. She had to be over 180 centimeters tall, her shoulders were wide, her torso was thick, and her arms and shoulders showed small mountains of muscle. She had a robust enough build to be a match for even Jiza Ruu and Gazraan Rutim.
Since she had a leather breastplate over her shabby clothing, I couldn’t spy any womanly points in that way, either. She looked just like some ruffian from the post town who failed as a mercenary or something as she sat there cross-legged and looked us over fearlessly while chugging down her fruit wine.
“You seem like you’re pretty skilled yourself. But take care not to do anything stupid, alright? You may be a guest or whatever, but if you start acting suspiciously I won’t show you any mercy,” Ludo Ruu harshly chided, seemingly annoyed at having his appearance remarked on there.
“Ooh, you sure are one scary brat,” Bartha retorted with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’m painfully aware that you lot aren’t the sort of cute little kids you look like. I’m honestly honored you’re this on guard over just little old me.”
Though Ai Fa and the other hunters all had their swords, she had to entrust her crescent-shaped blade to the main house.
Additionally, when I whispered to Ai Fa about her earlier, my clan head replied, “She’s not as skilled as her son.”
But even so, it seemed it wasn’t in her nature to fear hunters of the forest’s edge, as the whole time from when we met her up till now she acted undaunted, and at times even arrogant.
And now, those intensely shining dark eyes of hers were pointed toward me and Ai Fa.
“Well then, mind if I carry out my work here, too? Ai Fa and Asuta of the Fa clan, was it...? You’re the ones who got mixed up with my boy Jeeda, right? Could you tell me everything you know about that prodigal son of mine?”
“Right. I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s interacted with him most here at the forest’s edge,” I answered, as Ai Fa was still sulking.
Apparently Bartha’s reason for coming all the way here to Genos was to hunt down her son’s whereabouts.
“I’m not exactly thinking of getting revenge for my husband at this point,” Bartha had said earlier in the day. “We were a group of bandits. People may have praised us as noble outlaws or whatever, but it doesn’t change the fact that we were breaking the law. Even if they were executed for the wrong reason, it wasn’t like they could’ve avoided that fate anyway. Once those soldiers got hold of him, Goram’s fate was sealed.”
And so, having lost her husband and comrades, she took the only important person left to her, her young son, and started a secluded life at the base of Mount Masara. Of course, it was pretty amazing to choose being a hunter on a mountain full of dangerous predators for a life of seclusion, but that was how her story went.
“Still, I wanted my son to live a life of pride. That was why I raised him with stories of what his old man Goram was like in place of lullabies, but that ended up coming back to bite me.”
Once Jeeda had gained the strength of a full-fledged hunter, he arrived at the conclusion that he should avenge his father who was executed falsely for crimes he didn’t commit, but his mother didn’t accept that. And so he left their home at the base of the mountain to go live as a hunter up on Mount Masara, and didn’t show himself again to his mother.
She had just kept on living as she had up till now, figuring eventually he would cool his head and come back. But once Jeeda had built up even further strength over the course of a year, he took off for Genos all on his own. He had heard tell from a merchant that his revenge targets, the people of the forest’s edge, had started doing business in the post town. And that was what ultimately triggered his reckless actions.
“So, you’re the person of the forest’s edge in question who started doing business, eh...?” Bartha had replied after hearing everything, drawing in close to my face.
Her skin had been tanned so thoroughly it had the texture of leather to it. Her big eyes were staring straight at me, while her eyebrows were almost entirely worn down. And her nose and mouth were big too, plus her jaw looked sturdy enough to chew through bone. As for her age, I figured she was probably somewhere in her mid-thirties. At any rate, it was a seriously rugged face that reminded me of a lion.
“The people of the forest’s edge who laid their crimes on the Red Beards were famed as a gathering of brutes more frightening than any bandits. And since they’re ostracized even among the people of Genos, if you just leave them be the folks from the castle will eventually execute them too. That was the sort of stuff I told Jeeda.”
“Right.”
“And yet you people of the forest’s edge were doing business in the post town, and earning quite a reputation at that. Thanks to that, my idiot son went and got all hotheaded. After all, it was looking like the people of the forest’s edge would be permitted to commit any crime they pleased.”
Jeeda himself had said something similar.
That was exactly why he had set my stalls in his sights right off the bat.
“Still, I heard about everything going on behind the scenes here in Genos from Kamyua Yoshu on the way, so I’m not gonna go coming after you now. And y’know, it makes sense there’d be rumors when your cooking’s that delicious... I never imagined I’d get to eat such tasty food out here in the forest.”
I had helped to prepare dinner for today. Bartha had chowed down every bit as much as Donda Ruu, and thinking back on it made her break out in a hearty grin before returning to a more serious expression.
“The one pulling the strings turning out to be a noble’s real troublesome, though. Even Jeeda wouldn’t make it out safely after making an enemy of a guy like that.”
“Right. But Jeeda said he would wait to see whether or not we could really expose Cyclaeus’s crimes before making a move. So we’ve got to do something about him for your son’s sake, too.”
“Ooh, for Jeeda’s sake?”
“Yes. If we people of the forest’s edge can legitimately bring Cyclaeus to justice, then Jeeda won’t have to go dirtying his hands.”
“Hmph, you lot sure have an awful strong sense of duty there.”
“I don’t know if I’d say that... I mean, even if Cyclaeus was the one pulling the strings, it was the Suun clan who actually did all that awful stuff, and they’re people of the forest’s edge. So I figure it’s only natural for us to feel responsibility for that.”
My focus naturally turned from Bartha to Leito, who was sitting there next to her. He was a victim of Zattsu Suun’s vile crimes, as the orphaned child of the leader of the merchant caravan that fiend wiped out.
Noticing my gaze, Leito smiled back.
“I believe the people of the forest’s edge finished their atonement when Zattsu and Tei Suun’s crimes came to light. The rest of you all are simply victims betrayed by their leading clan head.”
“I don’t agree there. I mean, we failed to even notice everything Zattsu Suun had done up until that Kamyua guy made a move,” Ludo Ruu retorted with a pout, but Leito’s smile remained unchanged.
“But you all dragged the Suun down from their position as the leading clan before Kamyua did anything, didn’t you? If the Suun had still been the leaders of the forest’s edge at that point, your people would be in an even worse position now, wouldn’t you?”
“So you don’t hate us...?”
“My father was killed by Zattsu Suun and his cronies, but that happened back before I was even born. My mother followed soon after, and while Milano Mas raised me, he didn’t talk about criminals from the forest’s edge in front of me. So I didn’t really grow up thinking of myself as a victim.”
And yet, when Zattsu Suun was captured his cheeks were also wet with tears.
Had Ludo Ruu seen that, too? At any rate, the youth was rustling his yellowish-brown hair as he glared at Leito, who was just innocently smiling away.
“Don’t you get tired, living like that?”
“I wouldn’t say I’m old enough to feel that sort of tiredness just yet.”
I couldn’t help but wonder how many kids of ten or so could give an answer like that.
“That sure is a difficult topic you’re discussing there,” Bartha said, furrowing her brow. “So getting back on track, is there a chance Jeeda will suddenly show up somewhere around this settlement?”
“I’m not really sure. When we last talked, it was like he was giving me a final farewell. He still didn’t seem all that fond of the people of the forest’s edge, though, so I’m kind of doubtful.”
“But he went out of his way to show himself when that noble was holding you, right? It’s not exactly anything to brag about, but it’s really hard for me to imagine him putting himself at risk for someone he’s not even related to like that,” Bartha said, slowly looking me over. “Seems to me that he’s quite taken by you... Or maybe he just feels guilty over directing his hatred at the wrong person?”
“Right. It seemed like quite a blow to him when he learned the criminals of the forest’s edge were ultimately just underlings being manipulated.”
I could still remember Jeeda’s face from that time in front of the Fa house, and how he looked like he was on the verge of tears.
If all the criminals are already dead... Then who should I even be swinging my blade at...? Jeeda had said.
I didn’t believe in the idea of seeking revenge.
But Jeeda, Bartha, Leito, and Milano Mas had all lost family to a cruel plot solely driven by greed.
Zattsu Suun and his underlings had paid for those crimes with their lives over the course of these past ten years, but if anyone involved was still alive and unjudged, then they couldn’t simply be left alone.
“Still, I can’t imagine dragging out someone like me would be all you need to cross blades with a noble,” Bartha said with a wild swig of fruit wine. “It’s true that I know better than anyone that the Red Beards never killed anybody. But I was one of them up until my son was born, and I can’t imagine folks from the castle listening to the testimony of someone who used to be a bandit.”
“But you’ve had contact with someone from the castle before, haven’t you? I believe that’s ultimately why Kamyua believes you can prove Cyclaeus’s guilt.”
That was a new fact we had only just learned of today.
Apparently, Cyclaeus’s underling had approached the Red Beards before they were falsely charged.
“I don’t even know if they were really from the castle town, though. They just dressed like they were well-off.”
“But that person tried to incite you to attack the envoys from Banarm, right? Cyclaeus probably plotted to use the Red Beards as pawns before going to Zattsu Suun instead... Or at least, that’s what Kamyua said.”
The matter had already been discussed in front of the leading clan heads during the day.
Cyclaeus had initially plotted to bring the Red Beards under him, and when that failed, he hastily moved to eliminate them.
Perhaps he always intended to make use of both of them, or maybe he decided to rely on a troublesome man like Zattsu Suun because he failed to win over the Red Beards... Naturally, none of that was clear to me, but it at least appeared the Red Beards had been placed in such a situation.
“Still, there’s one thing left that doesn’t make sense to me,” I said, deciding to voice the doubt that had been lingering over me since earlier in the day. “Those circumstances are something that only the members of the Red Beards and maybe some people in Cyclaeus’s camp should know about. And yet Kamyua was full of confidence that you were going to be the deciding factor right from the start. How exactly did he go about getting a hold of confidential information like that?”
“It wasn’t ‘confidential’ or anything like that. Goram and I were acquaintances with Kamyua Yoshu right from the start.”
“Come again...?”
“It’s been more than ten years now since that shady man came to us with his questionable story. Back when that guy was just getting started as a bodyguard, he ran into my Goram at a bar and they really hit it off. If things had gone just a bit differently, that blond haired kid could’ve ended up joining the Red Beards, even.”
I felt like I was on the verge of collapsing to the floor when I heard that.
Seriously, just how much was that guy going to jerk people around before he’d feel satisfied?
And as he saw me in that state, Leito just smiled again.
“Kamyua has wandered about the western kingdom for over ten years now, after all. And he’s formed bonds with all sorts of people in all sorts of places, to the point that it even surprises me. I’m certain Kamyua’s reason for living lies in weaving those countless strings he’s tied to others into a picture that’s to his liking.”
“Right... So this wasn’t a coincidence, but an inevitability?”
“Yes. From his hundreds of bonds, Kamyua has chosen the Red Beards, myself, Milano Mas, the lord of Genos, and the like to weave a portrait of Cyclaeus’s defeat. That is how I look at it.”
“That sure is something else. It’s like he’s some sort of god, toying around with the fate of us mortals, eh?” Bartha chimed in, sounding rather displeased.
Leito, meanwhile, just adorably tilted his head in response. “Even so, Kamyua seems to think of himself as just another thread in the tapestry. And so he’s always grinning and saying if you don’t work your hardest, you’ll never achieve the result you desire.”
“I’m sure that blond boy won’t be meeting with a pleasant death. Not that I have room to talk, with the way I’ve lived my life, though.” With that, Bartha’s firm gaze looked over everyone present. “At any rate, it’s reckless opposing a noble head on here in the western kingdom. You don’t have the slightest chance of winning like that. That’s exactly why my husband formed a bandit group, to fight back against them bit by bit. But in the end, he still got executed...”
“Yes. But Kamyua has formed a bond with Duke Marstein Genos, and also successfully made allies of nobles such as Melfried and Polarth. At this rate, even Count Saturas, the ruler of the post town, may get involved. And if that happens, it might be possible to leave Cyclaeus truly isolated,” Leito said, then he turned my way. “Still, even Kamyua hadn’t predicted that the people of the forest’s edge would already have ties with Polarth. Since Kamyua can’t return to Genos just yet, the plan was actually for me to make contact with Polarth in his place tomorrow.”
“Yeah, like I said earlier, since I was careless, we had no choice but to rely on him.”
“It certainly does sound like you’ve had it rough. Kamyua never guessed Cyclaeus’s daughter would do such a thing. But it seems there’s more and more criticism of Cyclaeus throughout the post town now, so it looks like something good came of your troubles, at least.”
Still, I wasn’t exactly in a position to say, “Glad to hear it!” to that. And Ludo Ruu was also making a rather displeased face, too.
Despite all that, Leito maintained a cheery smile as he continued on, “These circumstances may be similar to when Kamyua was attempting to entrap Zattsu and Tei Suun. Kamyua had set up all sorts of plans in advance in both cases, only for the people of the forest’s edge to move things in a better direction of their own volition first, before he could execute any of them. Perhaps it’s strange to say when we’re both up against the same foe, but it really does feel like the winds of fate are blowing your way now.”
“Hey kid, you said you were Kamyua Yoshu’s disciple, right? But there’s no need to go mimicking your master’s way of life so exactly, y’know,” Bartha chided Leito in an intimidating tone. “Everybody’s got their own thoughts and feelings. If you forget that and go toying with everyone’s fates as you please, you really could meet with a terrible end.”
“I don’t really think I’m toying with anyone’s fate. I simply believe you might not be able to live a joyful life even if you accept the fate given to you by the gods as is.”
“I’m telling you, it’s not good to go around saying stuff like that...” Bartha said with a frown. She traced what looked like a pentagram with her finger in front of her chest, then mumbled something in her mouth. Maybe it was a prayer begging forgiveness from the western god Selva for Leito’s disrespect.
“At any rate, the die has already been cast. Kamyua will definitely keep on working to expose Cyclaeus’s old crimes.”
“But it doesn’t seem like he’ll make it back in time for the meeting, does it? Isn’t Kamyua worried about leaving everything up to Zasshuma and Melfried?” I interjected.
“Hmm,” Leito murmured as he shifted into a cute thinking pose. “It certainly wouldn’t hurt if Kamyua made it back in person. But if that militia group deployed to the north was assembled to capture thieves dressed as people of the forest’s edge... It could prove a bit difficult to break through.”
“So Cyclaeus really does intend to frame Kamyua and those men from the Ruu clan as bandits?”
“I don’t know anything for certain. But rumors of those bandits had reached all the way to Banarm when we were resting there, so Kamyua must have been able to predict that much.”
So that guy was still plotting away with his usual aloof grin, even when he was traveling distant lands, huh?
A sort of lethargic silence fell over the room, only to be broken by Bartha’s booming voice.
“You guys sure stuck your necks into some troublesome stuff too, eh? If you hunters had just kept to the mountain where you belonged, you never would’ve gotten tangled up in this mess, y’know.”
“Yes, but the people of the forest’s edge ended up having bad blood between us and Cyclaeus anyway, completely unrelated to Kamyua Yoshu’s actions. I figure there was probably no way of avoiding the current situation...”
“Hmph, what a waste. It’s not often you see a mountain with hundreds of fine hunters like this.”
With that, Ludo Ruu’s expression shifted a bit more toward his usual one as he leaned forward.
“That reminds me, you’re a hunter too, right? This is my first time seeing a woman hunter other than Ai Fa.”
“Yeah, since I was born on Masara to start with. Of course, I ran away once I hit eighteen, and then I met Goram... And in the end I lost that new life of mine too, and had to head back home, where I didn’t even have any family left.”
“Hmm... But you’re not wearing the garb of a hunter. Even though that Jeeda kid had a cloak made from the pelt of some sort of leopard...”
“A gaaje leopard pelt, you mean. I’d seriously stand out if I wore something like that around here, now wouldn’t I? So I left it at home.”
We covered such weighty topics all throughout the day, so maybe it was about time that everyone got sick of talking about Cyclaeus.
Well, we had already more or less covered all the essential information. Donda Ruu and everyone else seemed to trust Bartha enough to allow her to stay in the settlement at least, so that meant all we had to do was just wait till the 15th of the white month.
As those thoughts ran through my head, the tension drained from my shoulders, but then I saw Ai Fa suddenly open her mouth after staying silent for so long, causing me to snap back to attention.
“Bartha of Masara... Are you saying you were born into a line of hunters, then?”
As she scratched her rugged chin, Bartha turned toward Ai Fa.
“It’s nothing that grandiose. Just that when you’re born at the foot of Masara, all you can do for a living is hunt barobaro birds. If I recall correctly, I was fifteen when I first took down a gaaje leopard and was recognized as a full-fledged adult.”
“I was also fifteen when I was first able to take down a giba on my own...”
“Ooh, giba are supposed to be just as tough as gaaje leopards, right? That sure is something, with those frail little arms you’ve got,” Bartha said with a bright grin. It was a manly and fierce smile, but also quite charming at the same time. “Still, it’s true that you’ve got the fine gaze of a hunter, too. There aren’t that many female hunters even back on Masara. When you’re born as big as me it’s no trouble, but running around the forest is tough for your average woman.”
“You...”
“Hmm? What is it?”
“It’s just... You were a hunter, and yet you had a child?”
I gulped.
However, Bartha’s smile remained unchanged.
“I mentioned it before, didn’t I? I had Jeeda after I left Masara. My family was all killed by gaaje leopards and nobody was gonna have me marry into their house, so I left home for a while. And then on account of my strength I was accepted into the Red Beards. Less than two years later I was blessed with Jeeda. Not long after that, I lost my husband and all our comrades, so I decided to live as a hunter again.”
“I see...”
For some reason, my heart skipped a beat.
Actually, if I’m being honest, I knew the reason right from the start. Just like Ludo Ruu had said, she was the first female hunter I had met other than Ai Fa. I must have not paid attention to that point till now because I was focused on Cyclaeus instead... Plus, I suppose there was the fact that Bartha looked manlier than plenty of men out there.
“The female hunters of Masara generally quit the job after having kids. Since you can’t go up onto the mountain for years after having one, you tend to lose quite a bit of your skill and strength.”
“I see.”
“But, well, I was as strong as most guys to begin with. And I didn’t have any other way of earning coins, so I worked like crazy to build my strength back up.”
“Right...”
“Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have been able to push myself that hard if Jeeda hadn’t been around. But because of him, I couldn’t exactly give up on life.”
Ai Fa remained silent, no expression whatsoever showing on her face.
However, her blue eyes made it look like she was seriously worrying about something.
I found that a little hard to bear, and so I glanced around at everyone else.
Leito was just smiling away as he listened to the two of them talk.
Shin Ruu had been even quieter than Ai Fa, and he was staring out the window, seemingly keeping attentive watch.
As for Ludo Ruu... His gaze met mine, and he shot me a playful wink.
Without thinking, I turned away, then gave a small sigh. My heart hadn’t slowed its pounding in the least.
“By the way, I’ve gotta hole up here in this settlement till the 15th of the white month, don’t I?” Bartha asked, turning toward Ludo Ruu since Ai Fa had gone silent. “I know I was told not to head to town, but you’re not planning on telling me I can’t take a single step out of this house, are you?”
“Couldn’t say. Those nobles can’t exactly have their underlings sneak in during the middle of the day. But still, just staying in the house would be safest.”
“This ain’t no joke, kid. If I can’t so much as step outside for four whole days, I’ll end up dying of boredom.”
“You should be telling stuff like that to my old man, not me. But, well, if you’re bored then why not chop firewood or something...?”
I figured Ludo Ruu had just meant that as a joke, but when he said it Bartha’s eyes seriously lit up.
“Yeah, if you give me something to do that keeps me moving like that, then I’ll have no complaints. But I just feel restless at the thought of having nothing to do, aside from sleeping and getting fed. Could you ask your dad to do something so I don’t end up bored to death, kid?”
“My name’s not ‘kid.’ It’s Ludo Ruu.”
“Ah, guess I was being rude there, treating such a fine hunter as just some kid. Anyway, I’m counting on you, Ludo Ruu.”
With that, Ludo Ruu also broke out in a bit of an amused grin.
“You’re a strange one, y’know. It feels like you’re more like us than the average townsfolk.”
“That’s because I’m a hunter too, more or less. Though I’ve abandoned my old home once before, so I can’t exactly say I’ve devoted my soul to Masara or anything... But at any rate, I feel more at ease out on a mountain than in an overly busy town.”
It was true that Bartha wasn’t quite fully either a townsperson or a hunter, which gave her a bit of an unusual feel.
While she didn’t seem to possess the same sort of rustic honesty as the people of the forest’s edge, I could sense that she was a real free spirit, somehow. With the way she acted, it seemed less like she was afraid of the nobles, and more like she just thought it was stupid to go getting involved with guys like that.
And I suppose the way she thought of having lost her beloved husband was not that different from the way it was treated when hunters died out in the forest. At any rate, the reason she acted so frank and unaffected seemed to be less because she was unfeeling, and more because she was just plain tough.
“Well, let’s save talking about tomorrow for when it comes. It’s already gotten awfully late, so it’s time to call it a day,” Ludo Ruu said as he grabbed his blade and stood. “You and the kid can have the inner room. Shin Ruu and I will be keeping watch just in case, so don’t go making any questionable moves.”
“Yup, I expect I’ll be sleeping like a baby soon.”
Everyone else started following Ludo’s example and rising to their feet.
Ai Fa and I had no need to do so, though, so Ludo Ruu ended up staring down at us.
“Asuta, Ai Fa, you two are going to sleep in the main hall like always? That’s a weird thing to do, when there are plenty of rooms to go around.”
“The Fa house only has rooms for storage, so I’ve always slept in the main hall for quite some time now.”
“I see. Well, do as you like. And you don’t need to worry about us,” Ludo Ruu said in a tone that made it sound like he was about to whistle or something, then he headed off with the other three.
There was a hallway at the far end of the main hall, and Bartha and Leito headed to a room back there to sleep. Since Donda Ruu didn’t fully trust Kamyua Yoshu, Ludo and Shin Ruu took turns keeping watch over the pair.
And in the meantime, we remained in the main hall.
The silence lingering in the air felt almost heavy, somehow.
“Ah... Should we get to sleep, too?”
“Right,” Ai Fa replied, but she didn’t move. Her blonde hair also remained done up, too.
Figuring there was nothing else I could do, I went ahead and laid down first.
And then, I thought to myself. Even if women were permitted to be hunters on Masara, and Bartha kept on hunting after having a child, that has nothing to do with us...
I certainly wasn’t prepared to go marrying anyone here in this world.
And as for Ai Fa, she was firmly ready to die out in the forest as a hunter.
It was only right for us to keep on going as we had up till now... At least, probably.
But is that really true...?
Only Ai Fa knew how she really felt. And as for my own feelings, they were a mystery even to me.
I was someone who could eventually just up and disappear from this world. In fact, I didn’t even know by what logic I was here in this world to begin with. And so I didn’t think it was right for me to take a bride and have kids without the proper resolve.
But what did I even mean when I thought about resolve?
After all, even if I could disappear someday, what made that different from anyone else not knowing when they might die?
Up until yesterday, I had spent a number of days without Ai Fa. It had felt like I wasn’t even living, and it caused me more suffering than I had ever imagined. If I had never been able to see Ai Fa again after that, would I really not have had any regrets?
The way that I truly didn’t want to lose Ai Fa, but held myself back from crossing that final line out of some sense of decorum or ethics... Would I truly not regret that?
As that thought passed through my mind, I felt a warmth on my back.
Still, I had figured that may happen, so I wasn’t especially shocked. My heartbeat still definitely picked up the pace, though.
“Don’t say a thing,” Ai Fa whispered from right behind my neck.
She was snuggled up close along my back, her fingers gripping firmly around my shoulders.
“I truly am blessed, being with you like this,” Ai Fa quietly stated. “I have no complaints about my current life with you. I’m already perfectly content. That’s how I truly feel...”
I feel exactly the same way, I replied in my heart.
Did I have the resolve needed to tread further past this current happiness?
And did Ai Fa want anything further, too?
It ended up being the sort of night where such questions kept on piercing deep into my chest.
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