Durarara!! - Volume 11 - Chapter 4

Chapter 4: You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours

Social Networking Service: Twittia

Kisshi—Wearing my gas mask rn

Kisshi—The air today tastes so fresh through my mask

Kisshi—My son got me to set up this account on private, but what do I post?

Kisshi—It’s all in how you view it. With zero followers and locked posts, no one else can see what I’m posting here

Kisshi—In other words, I’m free

Kisshi—The true freedom I’ve always sought is here. Cyber freedom!

Kisshi—Actually, I wasn’t really looking for freedom that much

Kisshi—But at least I can say whatever I want here

Kisshi—And if no one else can see it, this should make for a handy journal

Kisshi—Plus as long as I’m online, I can see it from anywhere on earth

Kisshi—As many secrets as I want. This is the knot in the tree where I can whisper that the king has donkey ears

Kisshi—Nebula is currently pooling a large slush fund under the guise of “association expenses”

Kisshi—But in this case, “association expenses” is exactly the right term for it

Kisshi—Because the money is literally going toward “associating” with something nonhuman

Kisshi—The division of Nebula of which I’m in is searching for nonhuman people whose presence hasn’t been publicly admitted.

Kisshi—The Headless Rider unsettling Ikebukuro at the moment is one of our research subjects, for example

Kisshi—Other divisions are researching nonsensical topics like the undying and a “liquor of immortality” and such, which is preposterous. Yes, there are various spiritual creatures about the earth, but obviously there is no such thing as a person who does not age or die

Kisshi—Which is a lie. I know for a fact that they do exist. And on that note, perhaps vampires exist, too. It was reported that the previous chairman of Nebula’s business rival, the Gardastance Group, was a vampire

Kisshi—…But I don’t know why I’d write that if no one ever reads it

Kisshi—I’m connected to the entire world, and yet no one will see me…

Kisshi—I wonder if this is what it feels like to be an exhibitionist who only struts around in the nude in pitch-darkness?

Kisshi—Ha-ha…if this ever gets out, Nebula will execute me for spilling trade secrets

Kisshi—What an incredible thrill. The excitement of living on the edge

Kisshi—Why, I don’t think I could sleep on the night that I accidentally reveal classified information

Kisshi—But I’m not revealing my real name, and based on the contents, surely these just look like the ramblings of a madman

Kisshi—My, but what a terrible and wondrous age we live in

Kisshi—A sea of information that stretches across the world, supported by networks

Kisshi—Just like brain cells, exchanging information through synapses

Kisshi—Perhaps there might emerge some higher being, with humanity itself as its brain

Kisshi—I bet if I said that in the presence of other scientists, I’d be laughed out of the room

Tsukku—@Kisshi Perhaps it has already been born

Kisshi—Who’s that?!

Kisshi—I’m supposed to be locked and nonpublic!

Kisshi—I’m sorry! I’ll pay whatever you want! Please forgive me!

Tsukku—@Kisshi It’s me, Tsukumoya. It’s nice to speak to you again, Mr. Kishitani

Kisshi—Oh, it’s just Tsukumoya

Kisshi—Well, that’s a relief. But don’t I have a right to privacy?

Tsukku—@Kisshi I’m sorry. It’s just that you never show up on the Net, Shingen

Tsukku—@Kisshi I wanted to let you know about something

Kisshi—For the moment, I will not ask how you are able to speak to me, when my account is unlisted and you are not following me. It seems nothing is impossible to you

Tsukku—@Kisshi Um, I can’t do the impossible online

Tsukku—@Kisshi I’m not some deus ex machina

Kisshi—Now hang on a moment. You can change the fonts on this website?!

Tsukku—@Kisshi what no of course not

Kisshi—Now you are mocking me on two different levels, and I do not like it!

Kisshi—Whatever. What did you want?

Tsukku—@Kisshi Seitarou Yagiri’s group has made a move to capture Namie

Kisshi—Ahhh

Tsukku—@Kisshi It looks like their goal is to get Celty’s head

Tsukku—@Kisshi It’s probably none of my business, but I thought I should tell you

Kisshi—I see. Well, I am grateful for the information

Kisshi—You know, I’ve always been curious, why exactly do you take our side?

Kisshi—I can’t imagine a reason that a man like you would side with any one party

Tsukku—@Kisshi I’d say it’s because I’m a fellow Dollars…but a lot of the shine is wearing off them lately

Kisshi—So whose side are you on?

Tsukku—@Kisshi I’m on the side of the people who love this city

Tsukku—@Kisshi Whether human or not

Kisshi—I see. Then I shall question you no more. Treasure your love

Kisshi—And if possible, I would appreciate that you treasure my privacy, as well

Tsukku—@Kisshi Can’t do that

Kisshi—…

System Information: Username “Kisshi” has deleted their past activity log.

Outside Namie’s apartment—in the past

Namie Yagiri was in the greatest peril of her life.

“You have a filthy mouth, Namie.”

She was outside her apartment, surrounded by Seitarou Yagiri, Kasane Kujiragi, and her uncle.

“…”

Her life wasn’t in peril. Well, in a sense it was, but Namie wasn’t going to let a little thing like a life-and-death situation endanger her choices.

“Do you think Seiji will like someone who speaks of such violence? Not that he would ever pay attention to anything other than that head.”

To her, the existence of her younger brother, Seiji Yagiri, was everything. But if she were to be captured here, that would limit her options to save him. And most importantly of all, she couldn’t allow Seiji to be used as a hostage—couldn’t let him be subjected to danger on her account.

So, in that sense, her entire life was indeed on the brink of a great peril.

Kujiragi held tight and immobile as Seitarou finished, “Have no fear. We do not plan to eliminate you.”

But they weren’t giving her freedom, his cold gaze said. He turned and gave a signal to the men in suits surrounding them. Namie tried to resist, but perhaps due to the stun gun shock, she couldn’t even move her limbs. The men in suits were practically dragging her away—

When help arrived on swift wings.

“That’s far enough!” cried a muffled voice, and a white figure emerged from the shadow of the wall, sweeping speedily toward the group.

“?!”

Seitarou gaped at this sudden intruder—until he realized that the whiteness of the mystery person was due to a lab coat. “Kishitani…?!”

Shingen Kishitani.

An old acquaintance, a transactional partner regarding a certain head, and a researcher affiliated with the foreign conglomerate Nebula, which had purchased Yagiri Pharmaceuticals.

And at this moment, his enemy.

The sight of the white gas mask over the man’s face all but confirmed his identity to Seitarou—but the sharpness of his actions swept the floor out from under that confidence. As far as he knew, Shingen Kishitani was not capable of running that fast.

And certainly, the actions he was taking now—pulverizing the capable men in black suits without any trouble—was not within Shingen’s capability.

“…”

Kujiragi stepped forward to intercept their interloper. She readied for a knee kick as he rushed forward, his center of gravity low.

But the man leaped off the ground just before he reached her, soaring high into the air. Rather than landing directly on Kujiragi, he wall jumped off the side of the adjacent car to get past her to the man holding Namie—whom he gave a fierce toe kick to the jaw.

With the guard knocked out, he scooped up Namie’s body and turned back to face Kujiragi.

“Something about your presence…,” Kujiragi said, her expression unchanging.

But before she could elaborate, she was interrupted by a muffled voice, coming from the same spot as before.

“That’s far enough!”

It was the same voice and words as the last time.

Everyone turned to see a man.

He wore a white gas mask and a white coat, the same outfit as the man who rescued Namie.

Indeed, it appeared that the man who’d been shouting and the man who had just rescued Namie were different people.

“Fwa-ha-ha-ha… It would seem the timing is fortunate. It was a good thing I had a surveillance net around that girl.”

“…Shingen…Kishitani?” mumbled Namie, who wasn’t entirely over the electric shock but had enough wits about her to recognize the voice of the man in the gas mask. “All of…you people…spying on me… Such poor taste.”

“An employee of Izaya Orihara, accusing others of being in poor taste?” replied the gas-masked man who was carrying her.

On closer inspection, the shape of his mask was slightly different from Shingen’s, and Namie instantly recognized they were different people. But she didn’t seem alarmed or confused by this state of events and said to the presumably unfamiliar man, “That’s right. He’s probably got the worst taste of anyone in the world. What’s your point?”

“Ouch,” the masked man said with a shrug.

His Japanese was fluent, but little hints of an accent here and there gave Namie the suspicion that he was actually foreign. But she didn’t have the time to inquire further at this point.

There was still the obstacle of Kasane Kujiragi standing in their way, after all.

“And how do you intend to extricate yourself from this situation?” she shot back. “I’ll make certain you are properly thanked for saving me later, but I’d appreciate hearing your plan first.”

For her part, Kujiragi wasn’t taking any risks in attacking them. Most likely, she’d judged from the attacker’s movements that he wasn’t an easily subdued opponent.

A furious, frustrated Seitarou ordered, “What are you doing, Kujiragi? Use any means necessary! Just eliminate him and—”

But the mouth he used to issue that command and the rest of the body attached to it were now five yards removed from their previous location.

A third white shadow had descended behind Seitarou without a sound and struck him in the lower back like a pile driver. Had his arms been held at the same time, the force of the attack would have surely dislocated them—but the attack was not meant for maximum damage, only to physically knock the target out of the area. It was successful in that regard; the company president went flying like a tumbleweed in a Western.

Seitarou hit the ground and rolled until he slammed into the wall. His eyes rolled backward, and a streak of blood trailed from his mouth, from biting something on the impact.

Kujiragi apparently considered her tactical disadvantage as this new attacker arrived, and she mechanically switched from fighting back to assisting her boss instead.

As she helped him up, Seitarou saw that Namie had recovered enough to stand on her own, and next to her, the three men in gas masks stood in a direct line facing him. They were rotating their heads and shoulders in a hypnotic circular rhythm, much like some kind of corny boy band.

“Fwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Does it confuse you that I have multiplied into three, Seitarou? And this is not even the end of it. My body doubles can multiply with every act of human desire, until the entire earth is overrun with me.”

“…Hrg…gah…,” Seitarou gasped, blood-flecked spittle spraying from his mouth. It wasn’t clear he had even registered Shingen’s taunt. “What do you…think you’re…?”

The member of the masked trio standing at the lead stopped and proudly answered, “My, my, who would have expected that you, of all people, would forget a contract! I believe I told you this about my son: that I would come and punch you. And I believe you accepted those terms, as long as it was one punch.”

“That’s horseshit! You didn’t do that just now, someone else did! And I authorized you to punch me, not to kick me!” Seitarou bellowed, the blood flying from his lips.

Shingen shook his head. “That’s quite an entertaining hypothesis, but do you have proof of it? I wouldn’t blame you for thinking that my…my Nebula punch was so powerful that you confused it for a kick.”

“That does not matter now! Why have you interfered with our business?!”

“And why must I be forced to explain myself to the likes of you…? Have you grown arrogant in your old age? Humanity is not your slave. People grow by overcoming unexpected obstacles and challenges. Don’t you agree, Kasane Kujiragi?”

The woman, who hadn’t been expecting a direct address at that point, squinted for a moment. Then she said, “I do not sense any need to answer that question. What reason should I have to reply?”

“I’ll pay you ten thousand yen.”

In an airy tone, the gas-masked man right behind Shingen said, “Oh, you are just the worst, Shingen.”

“Be silent, my doppelgänger, Gas Mask Number Two!”

Kujiragi considered his offer in silence, her expression completely flat. For several seconds, she looked down, then said, “That seems an outrageous sum in reward for answering a question that does not involve secrets. I cannot accept such a seemingly suspicious offer.”

“Okay, how about five hundred yen?” asked Shingen, pulling a five hundred–yen coin from his pocket. He tossed it toward Kujiragi.

“…Actually, you really are the worst, huh?” said Gas Mask No. 3, the one who had kicked Seitarou.

But Kujiragi caught the coin, and when she was satisfied that it wasn’t fake, replied, “Very well. I will give you my answer to that question.”

“You’re actually going through with it?!” snapped Gas Mask No. 3.

Kujiragi ignored him, propping up Seitarou in her arms, and explained, “It is true that humanity is not Seitarou Yagiri’s slave. An unfair reality will likely cause him to grow as a person, with the condition that he must be capable of overcoming it first. However, if one broadly interprets the status of humanity to be in the thrall of someone, or of rules, or of instincts…then one might say that all humanity is, in fact, a slave to something else—perhaps to the world at large.”

“Is that your idea? Or is it Jinnai Yodogiri’s idea?” Shingen asked sharply, but Kujiragi just shook her head.

“I do not understand what you are saying.”

“I’ll give you another five hundred yen.”

“It is one of President Yodogiri’s lessons,” Kujiragi said, catching the coin.

“What kind of conversation is this?” wondered No. 3, but the others ignored him.

Meanwhile, Shingen muttered to himself, “Ah yes, I see. She hasn’t changed in twenty years. She was just a young girl back then… I suppose this would make her a poison that cannot be poisoned by society.”

Then he turned his gaze upon the prone man. “Now, Seitarou. It is I who wishes to ask what you think you’re doing. Whatever it is that you’re making a deal with Jinnai Yodogiri about and manipulating his secretary Kujiragi to achieve, you haven’t announced any of it to Nebula headquarters in the least!”

“I’m not under any obligation to—”

“You do have an obligation,” Shingen boomed haughtily through his mask. “Wasn’t there an item in your contract that states, ‘You must report prior to handling any matters pertaining to the business, even if personal in nature’? Naturally, it only suggests anything relating to the handling of pharmaceutical products…but you do know that Celty’s head qualifies for that category, I trust.”

Seitarou could only mumble and mutter under his breath. Shingen continued, “Things are becoming highly troubling now, thanks to you. I am not your supervisor or babysitter. But on the other hand, that means that if you are acting suspiciously, you cannot weasel your way out of it with me.”

“Oh, don’t be silly… My company president’s position is nothing more than a stepping-stone, compared to what we’ve seen.”

“You are like the apocryphal tomb raider who attempts to rob the mummy’s tomb, only to succumb to being a mummy yourself. Only you’re so incapable of cradling that mummy that you have no right to even be a mummy. You’ll just wind up as a man wrapped in bandages, burning in the fire and brimstone of hell!”

“Do you have any room to speak? You’re the man who used a cursed sword to steal a dullahan’s head,” Seitarou snapped back, full of hatred.

Shingen was unperturbed. “I am already a false mummy. As your friend, I am merely warning you not to follow my example, and yet you cannot even take my warm advice on good faith… What a sad and foolish thing we human beings are!”

Seitarou was about to bellow back at him, but a stab of pain through his body left him moaning and coughing.

Kujiragi replied instead, “I do not detect any such elements of fondness and caring in your conversation.”

“Aha… You would appear to have keen abilities of observation. Very well. It is foolish to give away information to the enemy, but out of respect for the greatness of your imagination, I shall answer honestly! It is true! What I said to Seitarou just now was utter nonsense! Indeed… I am the sort of man who can lie right to his old friend’s face without compunction… A very bad man, indeed! You might even say that I am the baddest man in all this city!”

“…”

“And good and evil are separated by the slimmest of margins… You might even say they are sides of the same coin. In other words—! Because I am the greatest villain to be found in this city, that gives me the right to refer to myself as its most laudable saint as well! How wicked you people must be to treat this saint with hostility. Therefore, let us define the violence I wielded in saving Namie to have been judiciously applied in self-defense. Why, I could have sworn Seitarou was going to kill me back there. How very frightened it made me, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…”

It was difficult to tell how serious Shingen was being. He pulled something out of his coat. Nearby, the men that Gas Mask No. 2 had knocked out were beginning to recover and get to their feet, which suggested that combat could break out again at any moment.

But just before the men in suits could stand again, Shingen pulled the pin on the smoke grenade he was now holding and tossed it into the middle of the street.

“Fwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Until we meet again, Seitarou! The next time, you’d better have changed your name to Akechi the great detective! And I shall be the Fiend with Two Faces!”

Then the smoke grenade burst, and a curtain of all-concealing white completely enveloped a small corner of Shinjuku.

The same day, evening—Shinra’s apartment, near Kawagoe Highway

“Next in the news, a very friendly saltwater crocodile measuring seventeen feet long appeared in a river in Saitama today. Local residents took to calling it Salty and tossed raw meat to the creature…”

In a penthouse apartment, with the large TV as background accompaniment, Celty Sturluson listened to Shingen Kishitani brag on and on.

“And it was only because I was able to multiply myself into multiple bodies that she was saved. If not, those scoundrels would have taken Namie away, and who knows what kind of scandalous things they would have done to her?”

“I see. Good for you,” Celty typed into her PDA without much emotion, but it did nothing to suck the wind out of Shingen’s sails.

“By the way, when I mentioned ‘scandalous things,’ what did you imagine I was implying specifically? Think of this as a simple psychology test. I want to know how much you, as a monster, have in the matter of human desires, or getting more directly to the point, just how far you have gotten with Shinra in the ways of—gmmf!”

A tray came flying through the sliding doorway of another room and smacked Shingen right on the temple. He turned toward its hurler, holding his head. “Why would you do that, Shinra?! I did not raise you into the kind of son who throws a tray at his father!”

“And I didn’t raise you into a father who would sexually harass his son’s girlfriend!”

“Grr… I did not get raised by you, period… They say a son grows in his father’s example and a father grows by watching his son, but I was always so busy with my work that I hardly ever had time to watch you… If the result of that fact is my current situation, then I must heartily acknowledge—my bad!”

The target of Shingen’s speech was Shinra, who was wheelchair bound. He couldn’t walk yet, but with Celty’s help, he was at least able to sit in the chair now.

“But fear not, Shinra. As I just explained, I went to the wicked source of your current predicament and socked him a good one! Normally, I would take him to court and reduce him to utter ruin, but I thought that exposing you and Celty to the legal system would be a poor idea. So be grateful to me that I did not make it into a big deal.”

“A big deal, huh?”

“You and I are creatures of the darkness. Shadows ought to stay low and quiet.”

As a sign of perhaps how cool and nihilistic he was, Shingen punctuated this statement by spinning the tray that had hit his temple around his finger.

But then…

“Next in the news, an apparent smoke screen device went off in a residential block of Shinjuku this afternoon, sending large clouds of smoke around the area…”

The sound of the newscaster on the television caused the tray to slip from Shingen’s finger.

“According to eyewitness reports, a number of men wearing white outfits were seen running from the…”

The newscaster’s voice cut off mid-sentence, replaced by the laughter from a comedy show. Shingen slowly raised his head, remote control in hand, and faced his son, who was looking at him with dead eyes, and Celty, who merely held up a PDA screen with an ellipsis typed on it.

“There is no longer any place to hide in this new information society… The network has become light that shines through the darkness. Don’t you feel that it has surpassed the boundaries of mankind? I fear the data revolution…might have all been a terrible conspiracy to transform humanity into a higher being.”

“Don’t try to weasel your way out of this!”

Celty’s shadow wove its way around Shingen, squeezing him tight.

“Gwaaaah! W-wait, Celty! I can explain! Let’s all just ta-ta-ta-talk—”

The only one who came to Shingen’s aid was a man who Celty did not recognize. “Please wait,” he said. “The responsibility lies with me for providing him with that smoke grenade.”

The young man was obviously not Japanese, but his command of the language was excellent.

“You know, this is a good opportunity to finally ask… Who are you?” Celty typed, not realizing that he was none other than the “bandaged man” she herself had ferried as cargo before.

“Greetings. My name is Egor. I am an old companion of Simon and Denis from Russia Sushi.”

“Simon?”

Now that he mentioned it, he did look as if he could be Russian. But why would Simon’s friend be handing out smoke grenades? Celty was confused, but to be fair, confusion was becoming a familiar state of mind for her.

The reason she was able to stay oddly calm when talking to this unfamiliar Russian was probably thanks to the other people present in the room with them.

Seated by the window of the large common room were Walker Yumasaki and Saburo Togusa. They’d been on edge until recently, when Karisawa sent them a message saying, “Kadota’s heading toward recovery, and he might open his eyes by the end of tomorrow,” and they relaxed quite a bit.

“Y’know, Mr. Kishitani’s dad is a pretty cool guy. When you wear a white gas mask like that, you can’t help but be curious what kind of face is hiding underneath. Could be a half dragon—or it could even turn out to be a gorgeous girl!” said Yumasaki.

“You want a dude with a deep-ass voice to turn out to be a girl…?” Togusa replied.

Shingen boomed, “Fwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! If my identity is to be a beautiful young woman, then I am not opposed to that fate. As a matter of fact, my previous wife and I—Shinra’s mother, I mean—once did a bit of clothes swapping indoors. I seem to recall it being rather…enticing.”

Celty typed a message into her PDA and showed it to Shinra.

“How does it feel to have your dad admit to his sexual fetishes out loud?”

“I would prefer if you would console me without comment, Celty.”

“Hey, don’t worry, Shinra! We did not exchange underwear, so that does not make me a pervert!”

“SHUT UP PERVERT!” Celty typed for emphasis, thrust the message into Shingen’s face, then turned her attention to the other side of the room.

“Seiji, Seiji! Should we exchange clothes, too?!”

“Nah, that’s creepy.”

“Okay, but is it all right if I put on your jacket and roll around on the ground with it?”

“…Yeah, I guess that’s okay,” Seiji Yagiri replied without much interest to Mika Harima’s sappy request. On the other side of Seiji, Namie grabbed his arm, her temple twitching.

“My goodness, whatever is this little cat burglar playing at? When Seiji was a little boy, he wore my old hand-me-down pajamas. So would you please cut out the mimicry, if you don’t mind?”

“Huh? Those were your old pajamas? I’m pretty sure they were men’s pajamas…”

“I wore them first and stretched them out to make them easier for Seiji to wear,” Namie said, blushing like a teenager.

Seiji didn’t seem to think much about this revelation. “Oh, you did? Thanks, Sis.”

Namie managed the impressive feat of simultaneously smiling at her brother while shooting death rays at Mika past him. Celty couldn’t help but lament.

This place is doomed. The only people who seem normal are that man named Egor and the driver of the van. Then again, if Egor was working with Shingen for whatever reason, that would make him involved in the criminal underbelly.

She glanced at the long-haired young man, hoping for at least some kind of normalcy…

“Hey, Yumasaki. If they sold the right to switch pajamas with Ruri Hijiribe, do you think it would be insincere to pay for that with money? Because even if it is, I don’t know if my willpower could hold out, if given the option…”

All the normal people are gone! Celty despaired, making the gesture of sighing in disappointment. She had to make the gesture, because she wasn’t actually capable of sighing.

Instead, black shadow oozed and writhed from the cross section of her neck.

Celty Sturluson was not human.

She was a type of fairy commonly known as a dullahan, found from Scotland to Ireland—a being that visits the homes of those close to death to inform them of their impending mortality.

The dullahan carried its own severed head under its arm, rode on a two-wheeled carriage called a Coiste Bodhar pulled by a headless horse, and approached the homes of the soon to die. Anyone foolish enough to open the door was drenched with a basinful of blood. Thus, the dullahan, like the banshee, made its name as a herald of ill fortune throughout European folklore.

One theory claimed that the dullahan bore a strong resemblance to the Norse Valkyrie, but Celty had no way of knowing if this was true.

And it wasn’t that she didn’t know; more accurately, she just couldn’t remember.

When someone back in her homeland had stolen her head, she had lost her memories of what she was. It was the search for the faint trail of her head that had brought her here to Ikebukuro.

Now with a motorcycle instead of a headless horse and a riding suit instead of armor, she had wandered the streets of this neighborhood for decades.

But ultimately, she had not succeeded at retrieving her head, and her memories were still lost.

However, Celty knew who had stolen her head.

She also knew who was preventing her from finding it.

But that meant she still didn’t know where it was.

And she was fine with that.

As long as she could live with those human beings she loved and who accepted her, she could happily go on the way she was now.

She was a headless woman who let her actions speak for her missing face. One who held this strong, secret desire within her heart.

That was Celty Sturluson in a nutshell.

With that reflection in the background of her mind, Celty typed a message on her PDA for Namie, whom Shingen had apparently rescued earlier.

“For now…let me just say one thing to you.”

“I have no reason to lend an ear to whatever you want to say. Or lend an eye, I suppose, in this case.”

“…Do you understand the situation you’re in right now?! Do you recall what you did to my head?!” Celty threatened, her shadows oozing outward as she brandished the PDA.

But Namie looked utterly smug as she replied, “Yes, I’m aware. I also remember that the doctor sitting in the wheelchair was an accomplice.”

Ugh! Well, that weakens my position…

Namie Yagiri had spent years studying Celty’s head and was the very person who had made off with it after the first in-person meeting of the Dollars. While Celty’s drive to reclaim her head might have weakened a bit, that didn’t mean she had nothing to get off her chest.

But given that she had already forgiven Shinra—who had helped Namie hide the head and even did plastic surgery on a teenage girl’s face—Celty really didn’t have it within her to maintain her hatred of this woman. If Celty were a true hero on the side of justice, she might have chastened Namie Yagiri for her human experimentation, but she couldn’t pretend to be perfectly in the right, given that she was a courier who often worked with mafia types.

“…I’m not actually all that fixated on it anymore, but I might as well ask, Am I correct in assuming that Izaya Orihara has my head now?”

“I want to ask you that too, Sis,” said Seiji, sneaking a glance at the question on the PDA.

“Seiji…,” she murmured, looking at her brother with a conflicted expression. She was silent for quite a while, until she exhaled at last in resignation and shot Celty a dirty look. “That’s right… I gave the head to that sarcastic asshole. Right after I ran away from you outside of Tokyu Hands, in fact.”

“…Right after?”

“Yes. It was within half a day, I think.”

Celty clenched her fists. That devious fox. He already had the head placed somewhere during the Saika incident, and he had the gall to demand thirty thousand yen from me… But I’ve never felt its aura as strongly as I did this recent time…

“I don’t think that freak had it placed in just one spot, though. He moved it around from place to place. Sometimes he brought it into his office and tossed it around like a ball.”

That…is what he does with someone’s head…? Celty thought, her shoulders twitching. But it was Seiji who expressed his anger first.

“How…how could he torment her that way…?”

“Well, uh, ‘her’ in this case would actually be me.”

“Izaya Orihara…you bastard…” The usually stoic Seiji seethed, clenching his fists. Namie embraced her brother around the back.

“It’s all right, Seiji. If you want to stab him, I’ll give you all the help you need. In fact, there’s no reason for you to dirty your hands on him at all. I would gladly eat a fifteen-year sentence for you.”

“Learn to have some principles!”

“Huh? Principles? A monster freeloading at a human’s apartment has the gall to lecture me about principles? A woman who does illegal courier work on a motorcycle without a license plate?”

Those barbs cut Celty deep. Shinra thought, The fact that she gets depressed rather than angry here is one of Celty’s cute aspects, but he knew that if he spoke it aloud, the barbs would turn into knives that tore at her flesh instead.

Conscious of Shinra’s somewhat twisted attention on her, Celty made a show of heaving her shoulders into a sigh, and typed, “All right… Forget it. I’ll hold on to what I want to say to you. Just know that I haven’t forgiven you for that. Trust me, I gave Shinra his punishment.”

“Oh? Punishment, you say? Let me guess, you punched him once, then made up, and went on to engage in some kind of beastly mating ritual?”

“How did you know that?!”

Celty’s shadows burst out of her like steam from a heated kettle. Shinra tried to back her up by saying, “That’s very rude of you, Namie! It wasn’t beastly! If anything, Celty at night is as cute and sweet as a baby rabbi—bwubrulbwobb,” until she stuffed shadows into his mouth to stop him from talking.

“Wh-wh-why would you think that was a good thing to say at this point?!”

“Now, wait a moment, Celty! What do you do with my son at night? I think I have a right to know more!”

“Shut up, you family of creepers!”

It was into the midst of this argument that Yumasaki cluelessly spoke up.

“Pardon me—what do you mean by ‘head’? Did Izaya do something again?”

“Oh. Umm…well…”

Crap. I’m going to have to explain the whole story, she realized.

“The truth is, it turns out that Izaya is currently in possession of the head I’m missing…”

“What?! Celty, you mean that your body’s going out with Dr. Kishitani…while your face is going out with Izaya?! Is this two-timing?! If you ever admit this on your blog, prepare to get flamed in the comments!”

“Er, no. My head and body have separate consciousness…I guess…”

“…Ah, meaning…,” Shingen started to say, until a black blade jabbed at his throat. “Wh-what is this all about, Celty?! I haven’t said anything to…”

“Trust me, I can tell. You were about to drop some kind of disgustingly crude joke at my expense.”

“Why, this is madness, what proof do you have of that…?” he protested, but the way he was clearly trying to avoid looking at her was proof enough.

She was about to string Shingen up with shadow when Namie chimed in, her voice dripping with glee. “Yes, that’s right. Izaya and your head were in love.”

“Huhhh?!” Celty typed in the process of spinning around 180 degrees.

But Namie was speaking to her brother now. “So I hate to be the bearer of bad news for you, but you must give up on that fickle, unfaithful woman. Did you realize that Izaya and that head speak deeply of their love for each other every night? But while her mouth says, ‘Izaya this, Izaya that,’ her body desires that doctor over there… That’s right, she’s a wretched slut! You’re too good for some tawdry whore like her, Seiji!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, enough of the nonsense accusations!” Celty typed, bumping up the font size for emphasis. Then she paused before continuing, “I mean…it is nonsense…right? The head doesn’t wake up on its own…right?”

“That’s a good question, isn’t it? And yet, it has nothing to do with you, does it?”

“Of course it has something to do with me!” she typed, while Shinra leaned forward in his wheelchair and shouted, “It’s got nothing to do with you, right, Celty? You already gave up on that head!”

“Uh. Oh, um. Y-yeah. Yeah, I wish I could agree…but it was a part of me once, and I guess I feel a bit nervous about it being in Izaya’s hands…”

“It’s all right! No matter what might be happening to your head, wherever it is, I can make you a hundred times happier!”

“Shinra…,” she replied, overcome with emotion, but then thought better of it and pulled the PDA back. “No…wait. You almost swept me away with the momentum of that statement—but was what you said even a good thing?”

“Does it actually matter? It’s fine, Celty. Izaya has almost no interest in anything that’s not human. He probably either used it as an actual ball or, at best, treated it like an expensive vase.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better about it at all…,” she retorted.

Meanwhile, Seiji spoke forcefully to his sister. “It’s all right, Sis. It doesn’t matter to me how much love she feels for other people. All I want is for the last person she ever smiles at to be me.”

“Seiji… Ugh, it kills me to admit this…but I love how perfectly ‘you’ that faithful sentiment is…”

What in the world is going on here?!

“It’s all right, Seiji! Even after that head is gone from the world, I’ll still be here to smile for you!” interjected Mika.

“Be silent, cat burglar,” Namie spat back. “I hope you lose all nine of your lives and get your guts pulled out for shamisen strings.”

“What a horrible thing to say! But if I can still play beautiful music for Seiji as a shamisen, then I guess I’d be happy!”

Are you lot being morbid or romantic? Make up your mind! Celty thought, apparently the only person in the room who seemed willing to call out other people on their nonsense—even if she didn’t fully understand what was happening.

It was Yumasaki, a third party in the conversation, who put an end to her brave attempt at enforcing normalcy once and for all:

“Oh, I get it, Seiji. The warlord who ruled the postapocalyptic wasteland said something very similar! He said that as long as the woman he loved was by his side at the end, all was well! That’s what love means!”

“Thank you…thank you! I’ll do my best to follow this teaching!”

“You know, you’ve got a pretty strong attraction to two-dimensional elements, falling in love with a dullahan head! If you want, I can give you some kinky doujins about dullahans and folklore monsters whose heads fly off.”

People make those things?! The world out there is way too big! And so is Yumasaki’s strike zone, for that matter! Celty thought, even more confused than before.

Shinra asked, “Yumasaki, will you show me those comics later? Just the ones about the dullahan, thank you.”

“Shinra!”

“Don’t worry, Celty! It’s not like I’ll take any woman, as long as she’s a dullahan! I just want to try re-creating whatever sexy situation that comic depicts, that’s all! My only purpose is to do sexy stuff with you! Please, my dear!”

“How dare you say that in front of other people as though you’re being the reasonable one!”

She let the tendrils of shadow that had been reaching for Shingen divert toward Shinra and forcefully dragged him upward.

“Ow-ow-ow-ow, I’m sorry, Celty, don’t get so ang… Koff!”

For just a moment, he looked truly pained, as if Celty’s shadows had gotten into his injury site. Frightened, she instantly dispersed her shadow like mist and hurried over to the wheelchair.

“I’m sorry, Shinra! I was just doing the usual thing… Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s good physical rehab.”

“I’m really sorry…,” she said, wilting.

Now that he was free from her shadows, Shingen said, “You know, Celty, for being so bold most of the time, you really become so very soft around Shinra, don’t you? I shall have to add that to my research report for Nebula.”

“Wait. What research report?”

“Ha-ha-ha! When I submit observation reports on nonhuman beings like you, I get a bonus! Even reports on romantic feelings like the ones you just displayed!”

It was Yumasaki who jumped on Shingen’s explanation. “Wait a moment, Dr. Kishitani’s father! There are nonhuman reports?! Like on vampires who look like young girls but have been alive for centuries, or wolf women who play hard to get?”

“Heh-heh-heh… Between you and me, friend of my son—of course! It’s not my assignment, but I do happen to have seen reports on ancient loli vampires who love video games and beautiful werewolf girls who love to eat.”

Several of these words, muffled by the gas mask, caused reactions in Yumasaki, his eyes shining bright through his narrow eyelids.

“Oooh! Dr. Kishitani, you’re a lot more familiar with our kind than I thought! This is incredible! It’s the entrance to the 2-D world! Please, I beg of you! I’d sell half my soul for an introduction to that vampire! Then I can use her supernatural powers to find out who hit-and-ran Kadota and give ’em the old huppety-ho!”

“Hit-and-ran? Kadota? What is all this? Anyway, even if I wanted to, I don’t have the connections to put you in touch. More importantly, I’d either be docked pay or discharged from my position.”

Sensing that things were getting even more out of her control, Celty took a deep breath (or made the motion of it anyway) and emitted shadow onto the ceiling, drawing a word balloon like in a comic book, complete with speed lines and large shadow letters.

“Don’t make things even more complicated!!”

Ikebukuro

Meanwhile, the one person who knew the location of the head—Izaya Orihara—was in great danger.

While in contact with Kasane Kujiragi over the phone, he was attacked by Slon, who was under the control of her “other” Saika, and knocked totally unconscious.

The over-six-foot-tall Slon slung the lifeless Izaya over his shoulder and headed down the emergency staircase.

“Sorry, Izaya Orihara,” the Russian man said, his Japanese flawless. “You probably thought you were going to manipulate me into being a double agent against the Awakusu-kai…but you never noticed that I was working for Matushka.”

Saika.

The cursed sword that Jinnai Yodogiri had sold to Shingen Kishitani. The weapon that had severed Celty Sturluson’s head from her body.

As fate would have it, that blade was passed down from a woman named Sayaka Sonohara to the body of her daughter Anri, where it continued to sing its love for humanity. By cutting others, it instilled the curse of its love in them, creating “children” as it continued to infect humanity as a whole—except that Anri did not desire this, and for the time being, she showed no signs of creating new children with her blade.

However, Saika’s body was not only in the singular blade that Anri Sonohara held.

At the time that it was sold to Shingen, there were already two cursed blades.

It had been broken in two, the pieces reforged.

While this might make them shorter, at the point they were absorbed into a human body, the shape itself was meaningless. In the hands of a skilled practitioner like Anri’s mother, the blade could grow to many times its length on her willpower alone.

At any rate, one of the “branched” Saikas wound up with Anri Sonohara. The other resided within Kasane Kujiragi’s body.

At some point in time, Kujiragi had cut Slon, and on her orders, he now knocked out Izaya Orihara to take him to Kujiragi’s base of operations.

Slon reached the bottom of the emergency stairs, the whites of his eyes violently bloodshot, which was the symbol of Saika’s children. He prepared to load the cargo into his vehicle.

“Whatcha doing, Mr. Slon?”

He spun around and saw two men wearing jackets with a dragon emblem stitched onto them. They were members of Dragon Zombie, the motorcycle gang Izaya used as henchmen.

“…He fell down the stairs and hit the back of his head against the floor. I’m taking him to the hospital,” he made up on the spot. The problem was, he was so comfortable lying to them that nothing in his voice actually suggested any haste or concern.

The two Dragon Zombie thugs glanced at each other, then asked, “Shall we take him?”

“No, I can manage on my own.”

“We can’t have that, sir. You’re hired help from the Awakusu-kai. We can’t have you taking him right to the Awakusu-kai office, for example.”

So they hadn’t trusted Slon in the first place. Independent of the matter of Saika, Izaya must have warned his other cohorts to be wary of the Awakusu-kai.

“…Ah, I see. In that case, I’ll ask for your help,” he said, and no sooner were the words out of his mouth than he hurled Izaya’s body at one of the Dragon Zombies.

“Wha…?!”

The man wasn’t able to support the shock of all that weight and toppled backward.

Meanwhile, Slon lunged forward toward the remaining man, caught him with a vicious hook to the chin, then spun back and kicked the falling youth in the same spot.

They weren’t catastrophic blows, but the instant shock to the brain was enough to give them concussions, and the two motorcycle thugs fell unconscious.

“…It’s a good thing it was you guys,” Slon muttered. “If you were Kine or Sharaku, it would have meant more work for me.” He picked Izaya’s body back up and loaded it into his car.

He started the car and took off, leaving the two unconscious men behind.

But the moment he turned the corner, another member of Dragon Zombie poked his head around the side of the building. He pulled a wireless communicator out and started speaking to someone on the other end.

“…It’s me.”

“The little fish has been hooked.”

Fifteen minutes later—Tokyo

In a quieter residential area, quite a way off from the commercial sector, there was a residence with its own yard.

Slon pulled his car into the garage of this building, which looked like a completely ordinary home. Then, hidden from the outside, he opened the inner garage door to the house and started to load Izaya inside—when he sensed the sound of motorcycles in the distance.

They were idling, not riding, but he didn’t feel that they were just waiting for a light to turn.

Did they follow me?

He spun around and learned that his suspicion was correct.

Just outside of the garage entrance was a young woman with a tomboyish air. Her buzz-cut hair and masculine musculature marked her as none other than Mikage Sharaku, one of Izaya’s companions; she and Slon had interacted on multiple occasions before.

She glanced at the unconscious body in his arms. “I don’t really understand what’s going on here.”

“…”

“May I take this to mean an agent of the Awakusu-kai has finally showed his true colors?”

“Not quite. But the circumstances are not actually that far off,” Slon said. He approached Mikage with Izaya in his arms, preparing to try the same trick as a few minutes before. “I doubt you’re alone. Does your driver use a bike, too? I guess I’ll finish off the both of you and wait for more orders from Matushka.”

“Orders from Matsu-what?” repeated Mikage, who didn’t know any Russian.

Slon ignored her and took another step closer. Then he hurled the unconscious Izaya toward Mikage.

But she kicked Izaya’s body directly back at Slon, and while he was busy receiving the impact, leaped to the side. She kept launching herself—off the car, off the wall of the garage—gaining altitude until she could issue a vicious kick at Slon’s head. He only barely avoided it in time.

“Very good, young lady.”

“Don’t dodge, you big lummox,” she snapped back, glaring at Slon from the roof of the car. The man tossed Izaya onto the garage floor and took distance from Mikage.

Suddenly, pain shot through his lower back, like his internal organs had just exploded, and Slon fell to the floor without even a scream.

“…It’s over,” said a man with a shaved head to Mikage, clicking off the baton-type stun gun in his hand.

But she just surveyed the man with a grumpy look on her face and said, “Hey, I was just getting to the good part. Why’d you have to interfere, Kine?”

“Because it’s my job,” said the man, who removed a pair of thumbcuffs from his pocket and placed them on the hapless man now foaming at the mouth. A shot to the kidneys was said to be the most painful place to receive a zap from a stun gun, and Slon had taken one for several seconds. The only way you could tell he wasn’t dead was all the twitching.

Mikage sensed that their conversation wasn’t going to end in any consensus, so she gave up on complaining and hopped off the car. “You know, for being a master mercenary from Russia, he didn’t put up much resistance to your sneak attack. So should I be praising your skill instead?”

“Nah… He wasn’t using all his ability. Kinda felt like he was under something else’s control, so that probably dulled his senses a bit.”

“…True, his eyes were bloodshot. Kinda like the folks that Haruna beat, now that I think of it.”

Haruna Niekawa was originally a child of Saika, a victim of Sayaka Sonohara, but she had conquered the curse and learned to wield its power for her own ends. Later, Anri Sonohara cut her, too, placing another layer of the curse upon her—but she broke free of that as well and was now lurking somewhere in Ikebukuro as a collaborator of Izaya’s.

After a period of silence, Mikage suggested, “Do you think…she betrayed Izaya?”

“I dunno. But as far as I know, this house isn’t owned by the Awakusu-kai,” said Kine. With Slon’s feet cuffed up, too, he turned his attention to the other man lying on the floor. “Let’s hear what you think, Izaya Orihara.”

And then the man who was supposedly unconscious lifted his head and smiled at them.

“Oh, goodness, when did you see through my pretend-sleeping, Mr. Kine?”

“When Miss Sharaku there kicked you, I saw how you gritted your teeth. So how long have you been awake?”

“Since about when the car pulled into this garage. I figured it was better to stay down for the time being,” Izaya offered. He gave Mikage an awkward grimace. “I didn’t expect he was going to use my body as a physical diversion, and I definitely didn’t expect that you would kick me back at him. Er, sorry, I lied there—actually, I had a feeling it would happen, which is why I gritted my teeth in the moment.”

“Oh…should I have kicked you in a more painful way?”

“No, thank you. You might’ve cracked my ribs,” he said, laughing her suggestion off as he looked down at Slon. Then he cleared up their suspicions, as though being an info dealer meant he was obliged to explain: “Yes, Slon was under Saika’s control. But it was neither Anri Sonohara nor Haruna Niekawa who was in control.”

“Ohh.”

“It was Kasane Kujiragi. She also possesses Saika.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mikage wondered.

Izaya chuckled. “We’ll have plenty of time later for me to explain it to you.” Then he took a look around the garage and smiled. “This was quite a stroke of good fortune. The moment I declared war on Jinnai Yodogiri…er, on Kasane Kujiragi, I find out the location of one of her secret hideouts!”

“…I assume you’ll explain that part later, too.”

“But of course! One thing is certain: If we wait here, we should be able to meet Kujiragi in person eventually. She’s just expecting that Slon will have me trussed up and on the verge of death.”

“So with that out of the way…shall we set up a surprise party and hide?”

Kawagoe Highway—Shinra’s apartment

“Okay, so let’s put all this information together,” Celty typed, now that she had heard everyone out at last. She shrugged her shoulders to mimic taking a deep breath. “First of all, Yumasaki and the driver are searching for whoever hit Kadota. And because they were attacked on the way, they needed somewhere to hide for a moment and chose this place.”

Sweat drop running down his forehead, Togusa asked, “Um…do you not remember my name or something…?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“You could at least come up with an excuse! It’s Togusa, okay! Written with ‘crossing’ and ‘grass,’ because if you cross Ruri around me, your ass is grass!” he wailed, even getting a little bit teary-eyed. It seemed that receiving an honest apology was only making him feel more miserable.

Once she had properly apologized to him again, Celty continued, “So Namie Yagiri was attacked by her uncle named Seitarou and the secretary of someone named Yodogiri, because they wanted my head. And according to Shingen, it’s the secretary, named Kujiragi, who’s actually controlling this Yodogiri person.”

“Well, there was a real Jinnai Yodogiri who was the true mastermind, but he’s dead at this point,” Shingen added.

“I see,” Celty typed. “And Seiji and Mika sensed they were in danger of being taken hostage, so they came here.”

“That’s right. Mika warned me about this. And we thought that since Dr. Kishitani works in the black market, he might know good places to hide.”

“Okay… I’ll be honest, that’s very perceptive of you, Mika.”

“Yes. I had Yagiri Pharmaceuticals bugged, and when I heard them talking about that on the tape, I got so scared…”

“…Well, what you just said was scary in a different sense, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear it,” Celty typed, sensing her very mind sweating. “At any rate, we’ve learned that Izaya’s even scummier than I imagined. I need to track him down and squeeze the head out of his grasp.”

“Celty!” shouted Shinra in consternation.

“Don’t worry, Shinra,” she typed. “I’ll get the head back without touching it directly and have Shingen’s company hold on to it. I don’t mind a bit of research, but I’ll make sure we have a deal so that they’re not mutilating it.”

Then she stopped to think for a bit and added, “If I do take the head back for myself, it’ll be decades in the future. After I’ve already outlived you, Shinra.”

“Celty…!” he repeated, enraptured.

But the elder Kishitani tossed cold water onto the scene: “Now just a moment, Celty! I’ve got two problems with your idea!”

“…What are they?” she typed, infusing her motions with disappointment to make up for the lack of visual organs to side-eye him with.

Shingen puffed out his chest and boomed, “First! Are you confusing Nebula with some kind of unconditional storage safe that is at your disposal whenever you want?!”

“I said you could study it, so if anything, I’d expect you to be grateful…but fine, point taken. What’s the other thing?”

“You just called me Shingen! I seem to recall that I demanded you refer to me as ‘Father’ or ‘Papa’!”

“Shut up!”

Just then, Shingen’s new wife Emilia emerged from the other room, grinning, and exhibited some of her unusual Japanese. “Yes, most understooded. I have no problem of Nebula taking claiming of Celty’s head.”

“E-Emilia. You really shouldn’t—”

“It is fine. As long as enough coaxing is coaxed, all will be well.”

“Who’s going to do the coaxing? The company or me…?” Celty asked, then decided she really didn’t want to know. She turned her attention to Namie to ask about the man who had the head now. “What is Izaya actually plotting? Does he have collaborators working with him?”

Namie looked away as she considered this, then glared back at Celty with unconcealed disgust. “I’m under no obligation to answer that. I’m grateful to that freak dressed in white for saving me, but don’t forget that I have nothing in my heart for you but hatred.”

“Wait…what did I do to deserve that…? I know I helped Mikado and ruined your research team, but that was just what you guys deserved…”

“That doesn’t matter! I hate you because of how your head has seduced my poor Seiji!”

“That one definitely isn’t my fault!” she typed as quickly as if she had screamed it.

But that didn’t do a thing to extinguish the fires of Namie’s misplaced hatred. “If you demand that I produce the answers or leave, I will walk right out of that door without a moment’s pause.”

Then she pointed at Shingen and, as if to change the subject, said, “Oh, right. One more thing: That freak dressed in white was perfectly aware that Izaya had the head, too. He’s known for a while.”

“Wha…?! This is the precise situation where you play it cool and keep things like that to yourself, Namie!” Shingen protested. “I was successfully dodging around the topic by acting like a perv, and now you’ve gone and ruined it!”

Celty turned slowly. “Shingen Kishitani… You again…”

Shingen briefly tried to avoid her attention, then gave up and sighed through his gas mask.

“Well…I suppose there’s no use trying to hide it now. Yes, I knew where the head was, but I admit that I let Orihara go, because I was curious about how he would use it and what the results of his approach would be, coming from a different perspective than Nebula’s. Perhaps he could have gotten ahead of us!”

“Huh? …Oh, that was a pun. It’s hard to understand what you’re going for when they’re pronounced the same way, idiot!”

“I am not an idiot! I am your father-in-law, and you should address me as such!”

“Shut up, freak!”

Celty badly wanted to tie him up with her shadow, but it didn’t feel right to do it while Emilia was watching, so she kept her fury confined to words for now. That was the end of that topic, which left Celty uncertain of how she should bring up the topic of the Dollars and the Yellow Scarves.

How should I do this? Will talking about me and Mikado just make things even more confusing and chaotic here? After all, it involves Mr. Akabayashi and the Awakusu-kai, too. Namie and Shingen are one thing, but the kids like Yumasaki and Mika don’t deserve to be dragged into that.

When Shinra noticed that she wasn’t typing into her PDA anymore, he spoke up. “Well, in any case, the question now is, ‘What do we do?’”

“Shinra?”

“Look, we’re all here now, right? It must mean something. Shall the whole group of us gathered here collaborate on something? I know it’s a bit overblown, but we could be a team or a gang.”

“Like the Dollars?” Togusa asked skeptically.

Shinra shook his head. “No, we’re not a color-based gang. We’re not here because we wanted to be like the Dollars or Yellow Scarves, are we?”

“Yeah, if anything, it’s mostly coincidence that brings us together.”

“We’re here because we share certain interests. We ought to be able to provide helpful information to one another. We’re like a fraternal society with the same goals… Like a…ah yes, almost like a guild, you could say.”

“Sounds like you’ve been playing too many MMOs.” Togusa laughed, but Yumasaki’s eyes blazed as he shot to his feet.

“Yes! Agreed! A guild! It’s perfect! It has just the right level of fantasy to it! A guild! The guild of guilds! The rhythm just makes your heart sing!”

“Calm down, Yumasaki,” Togusa snapped, but his companion’s enthusiasm could not be dashed.

“But we should at least give ourselves a name, like the Assassins Guild or the Thieves Guild! Hey, we could take it from the name of the sorcerer’s guild from my online role-playing chat room and call it Shadows of the Emperor! Or maybe Queens of Nightmares! Or the Giantess Who Strides Across the Sky!”

Shinra laughed. “Well, we can figure that out later. But I think Celty should be our guild leader. Since like us, she doesn’t have any real power but does have the ability to get people to hear her out.”

“Huh?!” she typed, thrusting the message at Shinra while making a shocked gesture. “Hang on! I don’t get where you’re going with this! Why me?!”

“Well, Celty, you’re involved in a bunch of different incidents already, so it just seems like it’d be easier to have all the information gather around you.”

“B-but…I get the feeling that’s just going to bring down more and more trouble…,” she protested.

From his seated position on the wheelchair, Shinra bowed his head. “Please, Celty. I’ll take responsibility for the outcome.”

“W-wow, well, if you’re asking that seriously… But what will the other people say?” she asked, checking around the room. No one seemed to be protesting. Namie had no interest in the fraternal society at all and was staring at her brother’s face.

“Look, if you don’t like it, you can just quit. It’s only a tentative plan. I’ll help as much as I can. Please, Celty.”

“…All right. I guess I’m in, everybody.”

Yumasaki was the first to applaud, and after that, Shingen, Emilia, Mika, and Seiji joined in.

“Geez, you’re making me self-conscious…”

Celty felt like she’d been nominated to be class representative, a very unfamiliar feeling. On the inside, her body blushed.

It was the birth of a tiny organization that was not at all organized.

And a few days later, this organization would have an effect on the power balance between the gangs of Ikebukuro—but no one here could have imagined it yet.

Even Shinra, the very person who had proposed the group, was in no way prepared for the way it changed the situation.

Chat room

Mai: I don’t like being lonely.

Mai: Get fun.

Kuru has left the chat.

Mai has left the chat.

The chat room is currently empty.

The chat room is currently empty.

The chat room is currently empty.

.

.

.

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The chat room is currently empty.

The chat room is currently empty.

The chat room is currently empty.

Sharo has entered the chat.

Sharo: Heya.

Sharo: Dang, I showed up right after Kuru-Mai left.

Sharo: Well, that sucks.

Sharo has left the chat.

Mai has entered the chat.

Kuru has entered the chat.

Kuru: Oh my, finally someone else shows up, and it is in the little while we were gone.

Kuru: Why must Sharo be so impatient, one wonders? Ladies do not like an impatient gentleman.

Mai: Good evening.

Mai: It’s too bad.

100% Pure Water has entered the chat.

100% Pure Water: Good evening.

Kuru: Oh my, welcome. We were just so terribly lonely that the pangs of body and heart were reaching a peak.

Kuru: It would not have been long before Mai and I were left with no option but to caress each other’s mental scars. Thankfully, you have saved us from that.

100% Pure Water: Eww, geez, Kuru!

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Hey, Kururi and Mairu.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Do you mind?

<Private Mode> Kuru: Oh my, is this something that cannot be discussed in public?

<Private Mode> Mai: You’re fine with this?

<Private Mode> Mai: What is it?

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Actually, it’s not that important, really.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: But maybe it’s better if you don’t wander around Ikebukuro for a while.

<Private Mode> Kuru: Well, we can’t simply take a warning like that at face value, I’m afraid.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Oh, you’re right. Fine, I’ll be frank.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Lots of things are kind of messy right now.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: And your brother might be involved in all of it.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: It’s possible that, because of that connection, some people might try to mess with you.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: And since I’m involved, too, I’d hate for that to happen.

<Private Mode> Kuru: So you’re saying that you are in on this villainy.

<Private Mode> Mai: I’m scared~

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Um, yeah, I’m in on it. I’m in on multiple different levels.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: I won’t deny it.

<Private Mode> Kuru: I feel certain that you truly hated our foolish brother…

<Private Mode> Kuru: Wouldn’t the easiest plan be for you to take us hostage?

<Private Mode> Mai: Whatcha gonna do?

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: No, I think of you as my friends.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Er, sorry, that’s not accurate.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: I guess, to me, you’re more like

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: The kind of friends I don’t want to see hurt by this.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Having said that, now you’re going to launch yourselves in, aren’t you?

<Private Mode> Kuru: But of course. If anything, your warning has piqued our interest.

<Private Mode> Kuru: In fact, you’ve backfired so spectacularly that I wonder…did you say that on purpose?

<Private Mode> Mai: It sounds fun.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Good question.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: I’m still uncertain.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Should I drag you into this dangerous game or not?

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: To be totally honest, I like you.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: I want to keep you safe, if possible.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: But there’s a part of me that wants to get you involved because I like you.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: If I’m going to flame out, I want to take you down with me.

<Private Mode> Kuru: Why, it sounds like you’re trying to drag us into a group suicide.

<Private Mode> Mai: It’s scary.

<Private Mode> Kuru: You seem very similar to our dear brother, but where you differ, the difference is vast.

<Private Mode> Kuru: Our brother would not bother to come and report these things to us.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Is that so? Well, for one thing, I hate being associated with him at all.

<Private Mode> Kuru: Pardon me.

<Private Mode> Kuru: But I’ll admit, I have felt something was strange the last few days…

<Private Mode> Kuru: You were the one behind it?

<Private Mode> Kuru: Are you the one who ran over Mr. Kadota of the Dollars…?

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Would you believe me if I said I didn’t know who did that?

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: I’m on the dangerous side so deep that it’s almost meaningless to deny it.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: So my point is, I don’t know if I’ll see you after summer vacation.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Since this is a good opportunity, I wanted to tell you.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: I had a lot of fun getting to meet you, Kururi and Mairu.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: But the fun I’m really looking for is somewhere else.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: Once I’ve gotten everything I can out of that, if you’ll still be my friend…

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: …Well…I’d like that.

<Private Mode> 100% Pure Water: So long.

100% Pure Water: Whoops, I just remembered something I need to do.

100% Pure Water: Gotta go!

<Private Mode> Kuru: Good grief. Is he naive and innocent or irrevocably deviant? How can one tell?

<Private Mode> Mai: Dunno.

Kuru: Let us meet again, whether in real life or on this side.

Mai: Seeya.

100% Pure Water has left the chat.

Kuru has left the chat.

Mai has left the chat.

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