Durarara!! - Volume 5 - Chapter Pr

Let’s play a game.

Don’t worry. It’s a very simple wager.

As easy as whether a coin lands heads or tails.

That’s how straightforward it is.

Your odds are basically even; you just have to guess which of the two it will be.

For example, let’s say you punch the first person to walk past this apartment building.

We’d be betting on whether the person gets angry and fights back or whether they run off crying instead.

See? A simple bet, right?

In this game, the piece you’re playing with is the human mind.

Anticipating the actions and emotions of a human being.

…

Oh, come on, don’t just clam up on me.

Let’s say I ask you this question: “Can every person be bought or not?”

The crux of the question is the word every.

The answer is “Sometimes they can and sometimes they can’t,” right?

Sometimes people would choose their pride and conscience over ten billion yen, and sometimes they would kill for a single yen. Isn’t that right? Even the same person can be wildly different, depending on the time and place.

See, the people who lose the game of life are generally the ones who decide on an answer to that question. Those who continue choosing the same answer with firm belief are one thing, but the people who unthinkingly answer either “You can’t buy love” or “Even love can be bought with money” are the ones who lose the game because they can’t see any other possibility. Belief in a single answer illuminates what is in front of you, but it also narrows your view. Those are simple pros and cons, wouldn’t you say?

In that sense, the human mind becomes more of a bet, doesn’t it?

Naturally, knowing or not knowing the target beforehand will influence your decision, but that’s no different from having information about the horses in a race before it starts.

You might be affronted and claim that the human mind doesn’t have the same odds as a coin flip—but the results might as well be the same thing. The only way to know for sure is if you understand the contents of the person’s mind perfectly, and no one can fully fathom a mind that isn’t their own.

Let’s say the bet is that a certain person will commit murder or not.

The people who would say “I can’t believe they’d do such a thing” in an interview are the ones who guessed heads before the flip—they thought the odds were higher that this person would never take a life. Let’s assume they’re not just putting on a good face for the TV camera. This is only an example, after all.

You see, the problem is, you just don’t know until you open the lid.

It’s impossible to completely manipulate another person.

I’ve done a lot of that sort of thing for fun as an information broker, but I can’t control a person’s mind to 100 percent certainty.

All I do is give them a push.

Not into the road when the light is red. I mean it in a different way.

When someone is treading an extremely dangerous boundary and might step on either side, I just…push. To make sure they take that next big step in life without hesitation.

I’m kind of a philanthropist, really.

But it’s not a business, so I make no guarantees about what happens after that.

So with that in mind…let’s begin the game.

Now, when I play, I give my piece a little push on the back. Just to make sure I get the result I want.

You might be able to protect the piece’s back. What do you say?

Don’t make that face at me.

It’s like you’re saying I’m incorrigible, unrepentant scum.

Games are meant to be enjoyed.

Isn’t that right?

The Black Market Doctor Gets Sappy, Part One

Am I a bad guy?

Well, obviously.

I think that lying to you is the worst thing I could do, but as I said before, I don’t regret it at all.

What’s wrong? Why is your neck getting red?

I’m just kidding, Celty. I mean, you don’t even have blood to— Ow, ow, ow, that hurts, sorry, I’m sorry.

Anyway, every time I say that I love you, you always have the same response.

“You must have been a very lonely youth.”

And that’s very mean of you. I wasn’t lonely at all. Because I had you, of course.

What’s that? You wish I would use the same first-person pronoun in Japanese rather than mixing them all together?

Oh, Celty. Don’t you know the saying “Spend three years scrubbing a soapberry, and it will still be black”? It means that you can’t just ask me to change my nature and expect a sudden change. The different first-person pronouns are meant to be switched between depending on the person you’re talking to, of course.

Since the world is full of different people, I have to change my pronouns constantly…but to me, you are all of humanity, my entire world. That’s right—I always show you each and every side of myself, including the ones I show others as well as the ones I save just for you!

…Um, what were we talking about again?

Oh, right. About evil people. Why would you bring that up out of the blue?

Aha, the movie you watched. Yes, the kind of story where all the characters are essentially good and yet they all end up committing evil deeds due to circumstances out of their control.

That’s so cute that you came to ask me if I’m evil because a movie moved you.

I love that direct, honest side of you. I hope you watch a dreamy romantic movie next and say that you wish you could have a torrid romance like that.

…“Only if it’s The War of the Roses?” You know…sometimes you can be very cruel, Celty.

Let’s get back to the discussion of evil.

If it’s for the sake of my love for you, no matter how horrific, I’m confident that I can be as evil as necessary.

Don’t use love as an excuse? C’mon, don’t be like that. The emotion of love is completely unrelated to good and evil.

Anyway, you often hear the phrase such and such of love and good, but you never hear about the such and such of love and evil.

The villain with love deeper than the ocean.

How many of those people exist, do you suppose?

If you narrowed the target down to you, I suppose it would be me.

Don’t be embarrassing?

But around you, Celty, embarrassment and kinkshaming are my bread and butter.

“Stop it, I’m the one being embarrassed”? It’s fine! There’s another saying that goes “The fallen petal rides the flowing current.” It means that if you are embarrassed, I’ll hold your bashful body and vwuh!

Hey, you didn’t have to hit me. Seems more like this flowing current doesn’t want to carry the flower petal!

Still, I like that contrarian side of your personality, Celty; it’s very cu— Owwww! Aha, you’re pinching my cheek to hide your shy-ai-ai-ai-aiiiie! You’re gonna pull my sheek offfh! Youw gowwa puwwa weew waww!