Chapter 1892 Chapter 1892: Who I Really Love Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
When she heard this, Ning Xi's expressionless face finally shifted .
She almost thought she had heard him wrongly .
Start . . . over?
She could not understand this man's thought process .
After so many things had happened, and after he had already been married to Ning Xueluo for a year, how did he actually bring himself to say such a thing to her?
The girl's gaze of contempt made the bottom of Su Yan's heart tremble .
The man's voice was hoarse as he said, "Xiao Xi, I know me saying this sounds ridiculous and absurd to you . . . "
"Is it not?"
"Listen . . . "
Su Yan took a deep breath . "I've thought about it for a very, very long time . . . I'm not saying this on impulse . . . I really . . . really regretted . . . and finally understood . . . who I really like . . . really love is . . . "
Ning Xi looked at this man whom she had entrusted her deepest affections in her youth, this man who had once caused her heartbreak and much grief . . .
Listening to him finally tell her that he regretted it .
Listening to him say that the person he really loved was her .
She did not feel anything at all .
If she did, it was just a through and through coldness .
"Xiao Xi, about that incident back then, I was wrong . It was I who abandoned what we had first . . . but at the start, I really never thought of breaking up with you . . . until I met Xueluo . . .
"Xueluo is so pure and vulnerable, and she suddenly got involved in that sort of unforeseen incident . After that, she constantly chatted and grumbled to me . Slowly, I just . . . I didn't know when it started . . . then the feelings just started to change . . . " Su Yan's expression was filled with anguish as he looked upset .
Ning Xi's thoughts were calm .
Yeah, it was all her fault . She did not have Ning Xueluo's skills . Ning Xueluo knew how to get sympathy, knew how to complain tearfully, knew how to satisfy his desire as a man to protect .
She was wrong for always telling him only the good things, and not the bad things . She had been afraid that he would be worried for her . She was wrong for never telling him a word even as she was repeatedly embarassed, shunned, and isolated . . .
"After that, under impulse, I did it with Xueluo . It was Xueluo's first time . . . I'm a man . . . I can't be irresponsible towards her . . . I've been hiding it from you . . . It's because I really didn't know how to face you . . . "
Huh, responsible? When he wanted to be responsible for a third party, had he ever thought about her, his girlfriend then?
Ning Xueluo's experience was regarded as a precious first time, while she was an impure person who had unfathomably lost her virginity and was even pregnant with an illegitimate child . How could she measure up to the noble Master Su?
"However, it was only later that I understood that all along, I've been worrying about Xueluo, yet I never thought about how you felt . You left your hometown for me, but in the end, I abandoned you and even let you encounter something like that . You were sent abroad all alone, and then after that, you returned to the country and tried to make it in the entertainment industry alone too . . .
"Actually, I've always wanted to help you . I wanted to make it up to you . . . but you're just too tough . . . "
Su Yan fixed his gaze on the girl before him . "You disappeared for a whole year, and I've missed you for a whole year too until you appeared once again . . . "
After a momentary silence, Su Yan took a deep breath and continued, "Xiao Xi, I've already lied to myself for too long . . . I don't want to continue deceiving others and myself! I don't want to just live my life in a lie!"
Ning Xi's lips curved up into a sneer . "So?"
"I know that in my current situation I don't have the right to say these things to you, and I definitely don't mean to dishonor you . I will . . . return to being a free man . . . "
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