Chapter 3: Ahead Towards the Enemy
All the muscles in his body were screaming.
Painful. Difficult.
His feet felt heavy. He wanted to vomit.
He felt sharp pains in his ribs with every violent breath. His throat was dry and he was extremely thirsty.
The wet atmosphere of the jungle clung to his body. Large amount of sweat gushed out and his boots made unpleasant sounds as he advanced, step by step, through the jungle. The belt of his knapsack was eating into his shoulders. It was painful, but it couldn’t be helped. Halting, he placed his hands on his knees. It had only been 30 seconds since he had last rested, or so he thought. At any rate, there was no one watching. There was no one to complain about him slacking off.
“...........”
Sousuke, enduring the pain, shook his head bit by bit. How pathetic. With the steep mountain path, he had only walked no more than 6 kilometers. And he was already like that.
One foot forward. One foot forward.
He stumbled on the root of a thick tree, staggering. Although he had fallen down the previous time he had tripped, that time, he narrowly regained his balance. Standing still like that, he firmly endured it and continued to move.
Don’t think. Run.
There was a fierce ringing in his ears from his troubled heartbeat. Its racing echoed in his ears from the nape of his neck. His field of vision began to narrow and his consciousness became hazy.
One foot forward. One foot forward.
What’s the foundation of fighting? What’s the foundation of a soldier? That’s right, it’s running.
Run. Run. Run.
Soldiers who do not run have no chance of winning. In extreme cases, it had nothing to do with skill and equipment. The Goddess of fighting only smiled upon those who could run longer than their enemy. As for understanding the merits of a battle, it was simple. That was the only variation. Staying alive that long was because of “Running”.
Needless thoughts slowly disappeared.
Hesitation and doubt disappeared. Regrets from the past, and indecisiveness about the future also disappeared.
Forward. Forward. Forward.
He was approaching the landmark which was a grotesque shrub. It would be 10 kilometers according to the map. The distance he had not reached yesterday he had already passed today.
His whole body was in pain, as usual.
However, tomorrow he would be running further.
“You still plan to move, huh? Good gracious, really....” Michael Lemon said from behind Sousuke.
He was heading towards the Athletic Field, returning to camp.
They were in the northern part of the swampy area in Florida, North America.
It was around a few good 10 kilometers to the nearest community, Taylor Town. Those who went there were mostly hunters, academic researchers, or those who were curious. There were not many visits in the span of a year. There was only one land route. The people going to that remote place could only go through Taylor Town. In other words, if anyone were looking for Sousuke the people in the city would immediately inform Lemon through the wireless radio.
In the attack at Havi Oa Island Lemon’s own organization, the DGSE, had been caught in the information net of Amalgam
without their knowledge. If not, the whereabouts of Sousuke would not have leaked.
He thought of going back to his home country, France. But, thinking of the current situation, it would be dangerous. And then there was Sousuke himself. Lemon’s superiors had decided to separate him from his former self. Naturally, this would be severe questioning, or rather, them profiting from their “collaboration” with Sousuke. That attack was obviously a hostile action from Amalgam. His own country and organization thought about the possibility of reconciliation with Amalgam, but Lemon did not agree with that option.
That was why he took only his trusted companions and brought Sousuke to that peculiar place. Because his immediate superior, Delecour, had died, Lemon was entrusted to have his own discretion. His decision would put him in a grave position in his own organization. He had not told his organization where he had gone because the information leak could have already reached the highest levels. Suffice to say, Lemon and the others were running away together with Sousuke.
Does he mind? that’s what Lemon wondered.
Of course he moved for the national interest of his own country, and he still intended to do so. He should have handed Sousuke over to the hands of the enemy- or given in to the bigwigs in charge of information from headquarters. Wouldn’t his action of running away instead be likened to selling off his own country? To that degree the organization called Amalgam was dangerous. Its roots were spread all over the place, even in his own organization. That was what he had come to realize based on the incidents in the past few months.
First, Sousuke must recover.
If he got back his natural strength, he would become a soldier that would not need guarding. That would let them move easily, and, building a relationship of joint struggle with Sousuke, they would be able to get near the center of the organization called Amalgam. But also, it would take the threat of the enemy away from his native country.
Before going to the camp, Lemon had a talk with Sousuke about what he thought, and asked for his cooperation. Sousuke thought about it and nodded.
“Okay. However, would that be all?” he had asked.
Rational logic aside, Lemon had this feeling of going against Amalgam with prejudice. It was the most extreme subject. If it was up to a “Bureaucratic” agent, this important burden would be pushed to someone in headquarters, and they would transfer him to another assignment.
“Revenge- although it is a strange talk. Well, I do have that mood” Lemon had answered with an absentminded tone.
“Is that so? I understand.”
With only that, Sousuke consented, and he didn’t inquire about Lemon’s motive a second time. As far as information concerning Mithril and Amalgam, and also the circumstances as to why Sousuke was being targeted by the enemy, Sousuke had promised to tell Lemon once he had recovered to a certain degree.
The problem was how to hide from them.
Lemon had reached out to a number of people from his connections. Either way, in terms of safety, there were only difficult places and environments.
Sousuke himself had proposed to Lemon that it should be somewhere difficult.
“There is a person who can lend a hand” he had said.
What that person, John George Courtney, offered was the remote and uninhabited camp.
Even right then Sousuke was leaping and splashing silently in the field, rising and running down. The middle aged person, Courtney, sat down beside Lemon, who was observing silently. The wrinkles of his age were carved, and his movements were reassuring. With an appearance of a veteran, his sweat-colored olive green fatigues were magnificently worn.
“He looks like he’s doing it.”
“Yeah. There’s a degree of recklessness though.”
At Lemon’s words, Courtney let out a “hmph” with his nose.
“However, his youth can overlook the recklessness. Do you understand that?”
“Will to fight, or a purpose?”
“Much more simple. Just Fucking Guts” said the old man, combing his abundant mustache with his fingertips.
“Guts, you say...”
“No. Fucking Guts” Courtney corrected.
“Is that different?”
“Don’t you understand? Then you are nothing more than a Fucking Idiot! Well a Fucking French bastard being more sensible in Fucking English, there is still some promise!”
“Uhh-”
The retired Commander Courtney, who used the F-word excessively, was an American who was over 60 and had come back from Vietnam. Preparing the land and camp, setting up the allies in Taylor Town, all of it was due to his assistance.
In the past, with the American Army and Navy being troubled with the guerilla attacks in Vietnam, that camp was established to train in jungle and wetlands combat. A
commissioned officer in the army nicknamed it “Charging Charlie”. It was created to give a personal experience of the Hell of Vietnam to young soldiers who had no knowledge of conventional warfare. Courtney was one of the participants in the training curriculum. The language at that camp was violent; and waking up with bombs in the morning, or with officers wearing the Vietcong uniform, or with not enough time for sleep everyday and having to go creeping in the field was common. Nevertheless, that “Charging Charlie” was established into the “Delta Force” of the Army.
In the spite of being a camp with such a history, Sousuke continued his training rehabilitation.
But Courtney and Sousuke had only met once that year, they only had a relationship through a drinking party thrown by his “superior”. And with only that kind of relationship, that old man had prepared a thorough program. At one point a doubtful Lemon had asked Courtney about his reasons.
“It is because he was chosen by the cute daughter of my friend...” he had muttered lonesomely.
No matter what strange circumstances had occurred, Lemon no longer inquired about it after hearing that kind of sullen reaction.
With that reason alone, everything was prepared by that old man-
“But Mr. Courtney. There is a suitable theory for the training.”
With the only word from Courtney being that Sousuke needed “Guts” Lemon offered his opinion.
“He is obviously over-working it. His physiological movements are wrong. There are not enough muscles attached. Rather, he lost weight; he should have already collapsed when he reached his limits. Didn’t you also say this to Sousuke?”
Then Courtney reached into his breast pocket, pulled out a cigar, and lit it with a match that had been glued to the sleeve of his uniform. It was an impressive way of doing it. After lighting the cigar in front of Lemon, who was still waiting for an answer, he held it to his mouth a couple of times and smoothly blew out some smoke.
“Um, are you listening?”
With smoke blowing, the old soldier finally looked at him and said, “Of course I’m listening. Physiological movements huh?”
“Yeah”
“Fine. I will advise him.”
After saying that he took one step forward. In the crudely made field Sousuke toiled, dripping with sweat.
“Sarge!” he called towards Sousuke.
“Sir!” Sousuke answered with wild breathing.
“Your pace is falling! Really, coming to a health resort searching for boys, you’re showing a shameful ass like an unsatisfied young lady! Could it be that you’re seducing me with that ass!?”
“No sir!”
“Actually you really don’t have the will to do it right!? You’re only showing an appearance of doing your best!”
“No sir!”
“Then put out more fighting spirit! If your thinking of having your rotten dick penetrate the pussy of the girl you’ve fallen for- Move! Move! Move!”
“Yes Sir!”
Raising his voice, Sousuke returned to the task that had been whipping his whole body.
Retired Commander Courtney hurled jeers like “that’s right, Suffer! Writhe!” after him.
“What about the physiological movement theory-” Lemon protested with a fed up face.
“It’s a Fucking theory!” the old soldier growled.
Unintentionally scowling at Lemon, he inhaled his cigar once again and blew out enough smoke to obscures his face. From there he “Kah-, Peh” and coughed up a large chunk of phlegm on the ground.
“Discussion of guts is old? Method of training Physiology? Those things are for shitty young ones. Those are said by people who underestimate a man’s life force.”
“Tha...”
“You’re isolated in the middle of combat!” Courtney interrupted. “There are only enemies in the surrounding! If you get caught you lose your life! Your stamina is already at its limit! No water, food or ammunition! What do you do!?”
“..............”
“Well, what? You guys abide by the theory of your doctors, in medical terms you can’t fight anymore, do you give up and blow your head off?”
“That’s...”
“Before that. There is something amazing happening, it’s always before that. Our almighty God has properly prepared for that. God, as we call it, gave man a Super Fucking Charger.”
Courtney firmly made a fist from his grip, hitting Lemon in the chest and looking around.
“Using this, the coward becomes courageous, changing from useless to elite. Not to mention, a common soldier who is on the verge of dying in a short time- he would be able to do this.”
It’s reckless, Lemon thought while knitting his brow.
Moderate exercise and moderate rest. And having a balanced diet. To be able to create an ideal body, those cannot be missed and were scientifically made clear.
“You don’t trust me?”
“Yeah, well…”
“Then I’ll give you proof. Hey, you! You shitty young guy! Come here!”
Courtney called at a soldier doing maintenance in the corner of the camp- the voice reached a Special Forces member, one of Lemon’s subordinates. The soldier, with a dubious face saying, “me?” pointed to himself, and ran towards Lemon. Courtney hit his back and pointed towards Sousuke.
“Get him some fighting spirit. Hit him two or three times, and pound him to the ground. What, you don’t have to be forgiving. Go!” he said.
The large built and robust soldier inquired at Lemon’s expression. Lemon thought a little, and gave a short nod indicating “do as he says”.
“Then, I’ll do as you say....”
The soldier shrugged his shoulders, and headed toward the center of the field where Sousuke was running. With fist tucked in he informed him, “don’t think of this badly”, which could be heard from where Lemon and Courtney were watching.
“Well, take a look. Take a look at the counterattack that will open your eyes.”
Courtney, with the cigar in mouth, folded his arms in confidence.
The soldier casually hit Sousuke.
Two hits. Three hits.
The extremely fatigued Sousuke was not able to give any kind of resistance. He took a shoulder throw and hit the mud with
his back. Sousuke seemed unable to move and was just facing upwards at the solder. The soldier looked down at him and shouted back over to Lemon.
“He fainted.”
“............”
The soldier nursed the confused Sousuke. Lemon let out a sigh and looked at Courtney, who appeared as if nothing had happened and blew out smoke from his cigar.
“Well, this could also happen.” the old soldier said shortly. “Anyway, you can’t pamper a man. That is vital. Stained with mud, with the sweat flowing freely the current of combat is not to be taken that lightly.”
“Of course.”
Courtney threw his cigar on the ground and extinguished the fire with the heel of his jungle boots.
“But, Mr. young-guy, a man who isn’t smeared with mud and sweat, blood and tears, what would he be capable of then?”
♦ ♦ ♦
Sitting on a deck chair in the shadows of the terrace watching the day ascend by the sea; that was the daily routine of Chidori Kaname.
Even on rainy days it was the same.
She had only ever been to the sea a few times a year in her life. This was the first time that she had been able to continually look at the same sea for a number of months.
After being separated in Tokyo she was taken to many different places. The most recent place she had been taken to was a mansion on the beach. She was in a situation where she could wander the premises unrestricted. She was told by Leonard, the
person who brought her there, that she could ask the people working in the mansion for whatever she wanted.
“You think I would be happy being treated like a princess?” Kaname had asked.
Leonard had only shrugged his shoulders.
When he arrived at the mansion that day, he had left her and went away in a helicopter. Being the manager of Amalgam, there would be a lot of work to be done. He only returned about once a week. Aside from that he was always out to somewhere.
Even though he had once stolen her lips and said, “I love you”, Leonard did not treat her as his own. He never even embraced or touched her.
Not even using that “resonance”.
He only made her important by secluding her. Like an important gem in a strong box.
Kaname had not been expecting that.
For a young man who apparently had eccentric feelings of love it was very different behavior from what she had been anticipating. He simply had her “do this here” and gave her projects to work on. She wasn’t even thrown into some strange research laboratory. Excluding the house arrest, Kaname was surly free to do as she pleased. She was being treated like a VIP in an extravagant hotel.
After a few weeks of living in the mansion, Leonard gave her a notebook PC that was fairly new and said, “If you are bored, try to thinker with this.”
The PC had its network functions disabled, but stored within it were the design and combat data of a super weapon. It was filled with super important ridiculously classified information.
There was a number of data on varieties of Codarl type and Behemoth type ASes with a Lambda Driver equipped.
Unfortunately there was no information on the Belial, which Leonard used.
Among the combat data it included the battles with Sousuke’s Arbalest. There were many pilots for the Codarl type, but the only one who could draw out the full power of the unit was the terrorist who fought with Sousuke, Gauron. Even without the function of the Lambda Driver, he freely controlled the unit with perception and experience. In other words, he was very good at thoroughly harassing the Arbalest. Kaname thought again about the fierceness of the real power of Sousuke that was comparable to Gauron.
There was also combat data about Mao and Kurz’s unit, the M9, but those were ordinary. The M9 would be completely crushed with the passengers dying. If an ordinary AS fought with an AS equipped with a Lambda Driver it would not be odd for it to receive that amount of damage. Looking at the combat data, at Sousuke and the others’ stubbornness, was telling her of their shrewdness.
If you look at it oppositely, in other words looking from the perspective of Amalgam, the situation was somewhat of an irritation.
Even against hardware guaranteed to be far superior, these enemies would not yield. Mobilizing with experience and skill, elasticity and unpolished intuition, in the end they continued to resist. Finally they would find an opportunity and the Lambda Driver equipped unit would succumb to a fatal counterattack. That might probably be the “Difference in skill”. Mao, Kurz and the others, ordinary youths who were flawed with human weakness, at the same time were like polished fighting machines. That fact appeared in numerical values on the screen.
Kaname, looking at that data, vaguely guessed the meaning in what Leonard had once said, “Mithril is trying too hard”.
Amalgam was felt as a threat to Sousuke and the others.
She roughly scanned the design data of the Codarl and Behemoth. With Kaname’s intelligence the way it was just then she easily discovered the point of the problem. The appearance of the original pattern had been derived from Leonard, many of the other portions seemed to have been handled by engineers.
The Lambda Driver equipped ASes of Amalgam required the operator to take medications prior to starting up the equipment. This created a variety of “Static stimulations”, producing a peculiar electrical pattern in the brain. It was only a shell of an interface which was called TAROS, the unit amplifying that “power”. It could not be asserted with the design data alone, but the medications that the amalgam pilots used had been improving. Close to one year ago, when they had met that unstable boy, Takuma, the medications caused them to behave erratically. The combat data from that incident was missing, but the pilots of the Codarls right now were not as emotionally unstable as Takuma.
The fundamental principle of the Codarl’s Lambda Driver was most probably the same as the Arbalest, but Sousuke did not require any medication. Over time Sousuke and the Arbalest had exhibited a dramatic battle, a mental state which could not be reproduced by a medicine prescription. It was probably brought forth by the concentration and strong will he had forged by living as a soldier from such a young age. A variation of enhanced feeling was a plus.
Although the Arbalest was unstable, it had an overwhelming strength in a complete situation. The Codarl type exhibited stable functioning and the specifications were also available with limited mass production. But it could not exhibit the
instant strength of the Arbalest. To say it simply, the Codarl was a unit for exterminating ordinary AS, whereas the Arbalest was designed to fight with an AS equipped with an Lambda Driver. The difference was also clearly shown in the combat data.
It was strange to say, but the Codarl and Behemoth units were somewhat similar. But their similarities were also their limitations. They did not take into consideration that and enemy may also be equipped with a Lambda Driver. Many aspects of their design had been sacrificed in order to accommodate the complex system. In addition, the expansion of their protective wall was difficult. Being defeated by a common AS would not be impossible if an enemy was familiar with the Lambda Driver equipment, in other words Tessa and the others.
Even with a supernatural energy field generating device they were not invincible.
At Kaname’s diagnosis, the “Battle ratio” of a Lambda Driver equipped AS and an ordinary 3rd generation AS, with the same skill in pilots, would be assumed around 8 to 1. If 8 of the M9s were drilled with the proper countermeasures, they could defeat a single unit of Codarl. Of course the side with the M9s would pay a suitable sacrifice, actual tactics were much more complex and organic, but if simplified that would be it.
If compared to the tanks and an anti tank helicopters that were used in current warfare, an extreme example, the ratio would be 16 to 1. Comparing that to the existence of the Lambda Driver boarded AS would not cause a dramatic change in the concern of the people. Although this might not be a big thing if looking at the history of science, on top of the military history the artillery and communication system, ICBM, would have a greater incidence.
Was it expected in this world that people had noticed as much? Most probably only a handful of people had- him, herself
and Tessa, and a few more people who were the same as them. People like Mao and the others, who had experienced it in actual combat, might have already noticed it too.
Looking at the collected data in the Notebook PC, Kaname understood that much.
Leonard had made her understand that truth. And then, on top of that he had asked her, “Then how do you use this worthless equipment called Lambda Driver? How would you repair this unit?”
In any case, Kaname increased the radiation cord from the head part from one to two, making three knots of ribbon to create a data transfer.
“You friend will be alright.”
It was about Tokiwa Kyouko. After saying that Leonard had smiled and said, “why don’t you try redoing it”, and returned the data to her.
After that, Kaname once in a while thought of a design plan and handed it to Leonard’s subordinates. Her design plans were merely sketches with no real practical uses. The contents were just for Leonard. She would purposely mix in the wrong numerical values and a mechanism with contradicting specs resulted. It would be an ingenious trap that would be difficult for an ordinary engineer to notice. With the discomfort of having her skills tested, she also tried to test the observer. Of course Leonard would have noticed that intention. He would simply show her the mistaken passage, shrug his shoulders, and leave.
How long would she be staying in that mansion?
What did they want with her?
Leonard talked about a lot of things. Not only the management of the organization, but she felt the impression that he was preparing for something very big. Most probably, until that day came she would have to be in that place.
After losing the livelihood of Tokyo, Kaname, who felt she had thrown away something, had no more spirit to inquire about those matters.
Whatever. That was what she thought.
Anger and laughter, she could no longer recall. Only knowing of living in that mansion, becoming a middle aged woman, becoming an elderly woman, and dying someday. She thought that that would be good.
That place was in the subtropics.
It had already been warm since February, with only the broadleaf trees remaining in sight. There were no roads or houses seen on the premises, not even a ship going back and forth on the coast. Nor an Aircraft. The helicopter for people to visit the mansion was the only thing that ever flew there.
It was a quiet place.
Like the silence of her heart right then, it was a hollow place.
The sun set just like how it always did, so she left the terrace. Then she walked to the west side of the wide garden. That had become a daily routine for Kaname.
It was a garden that was well maintained. In that season the light purple Jacaranda flowers were blooming. Shining under the velvet sunset sky of dusk, they left an absentminded and gloomy color around them. A gentle sea breeze came from the sea, shaking the leaves of the garden, and a number of whispers reached her ears.
Hearing that conversation, on that evening, she backed into the corner of the garden.
One was a man, the other was a woman.
“...and then? The escape from LA was really uncertain right?”
She knew that voice well. Leonard’s subordinate Lee Fowler.
A handsome man with black hair that would leave a woman enthralled. She didn’t know what kind of past he had, but behind the gentleman-like demeanor was a capable soldier with careful characteristics; he was a man who hid his discernment. He was disciplined to have absolute loyalty to Leonard, and was very polite to Kaname. He seemed to be the right hand of Leonard and flew around the world, but on that day he was visiting the mansion.
“Yes. How unfortunate.”
The voice of the woman who answered Fowler was also known to Kaname. Sabina Refunio. It was a conversation between Leonard’s subordinates after all.
The woman, who essentially managed the people who worked in the mansion, always wore a black suit and black rimmed glasses. Her appearance looked somewhat young. Probably around her 20’s. Or possibly at an age that was no different from Kaname’s.
Sabina was always in the mansion, there were many chances of meeting her. She was also polite towards Kaname, always respectful no matter what time.
However, she was not just a weak girl. And did not only work as a steward. She also communicated and led different people outside of the organization. At that young age. On the opposite side of that courteous conduct there was a scent from somewhere- of one who had an occupation fighting. That silent tension could also be felt.
Even the people who worked in the mansion occasionally showed fear towards Sabina.
These two confidants and subordinates of Leonard, what were they whispering about in the corner of the garden? Because
she had the feeling she might fall asleep she might have cut off her consciousness and erased her presence. Fowler and Sabina didn’t seem to notice her presence at all.
LA- the retreat from Los Angeles, she really didn’t understand.
She didn’t know who, but the two were talking about someone.
“Did you tell Master Leonard about this? With your judgment you dispatched an assassination team to Havi Oa Island. That operation ended in failure. In addition you lost sight of that man.”
“Of course I told him.” Sabina answered with a very calm voice.
“About the secrecy, that person is predictable.”
“What is he?”
“Nothing. That’s rather a word of appreciation.”
“What a lenient person.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think it was not a mystery to have angered Master Leonard. Certainly the handling of that unit was only an example of a pilot. However, for arguments sake even if the ARX system were to be rebuilt, the Belial would still be unrivaled. It is not a situation that should be feared.”
“I don’t think so.”
There was a hidden implication in the uncharacteristic words of Sabina.
“Even with his defeat?”
“No. Of course he is not invincible. In fact, I think my Eligor would be enough to deal with him.”
“Then why did you try to assassinate him?”
“I thought that it would not be necessary to have a fair fight. It is best to pinch the troubling sprout early on.”
Fowler let out a small sigh.
“That would be the extreme right. But you don’t understand right? You may have hurt the pride of that person.”
“In other words, about her?”
“That’s right.”
Kaname would need a little more time before she realized who the word “Her” meant that Sabina was referring to.
“But Master Leonard no longer concerns himself with that man. It’s like if a paper napkin fell to the floor while eating, I would pick it up and throw it away- that is all.”
“I see. Thinking just like a lady.”
“Is that so?”
“No, excuse me. …in any event, there is no longer a need for assassination.”
“And why is that?”
“We caught the news of the ARX unit that disappeared in Tokyo. It is not complete but three Codarl M types were ordered to capture it. We will finally see the skills of Mister Kalium.
“Would that not hurt the self-esteem of Master Leonard?”
Fowler snorted his nose.
“That’s why it was to be ‘Captured’. We can do whatever we want after. We can also have the permission.”
“I understand.”
“Anyway, as for the remains of Mithril, we don’t want to be sorry for the difficulty they may cause. I think we should focus on this plan.”
“Of course.”
“Then, best regards.”
Fowler and Sabina parted in that place, heading in different directions.
Kaname had calmly listened to that conversation. She did not stir or even show any sense of tension, just like the sound of
the wind. If she were still the energetic girl of long ago, drawing her breath from an inner strength, Fowler might have noticed her existence.
Havi Oa Island.
Assassination Team.
ARX System.
Project.
Those words did not much move her heart. The problem was “that man”- about Sousuke.
Since Fowler was no longer there, how long, then, had she been there? Kaname, in the darkness under the shade of the tree, without speaking to anyone, muttered a soft whisper.
“That idiot....”
He was alive. And also, she didn’t know what things he was doing, but he seemed to be continuing to do something that Amalgam didn’t like.
Probably, searching for her.
To bring her back to the quadrangle of that school.
Going that far to destroy her current lifestyle, unyielding, not even raising the white flag. What did he think he was doing?
That idiot.
For me. In a situation like that… me, who betrayed you right in front of you when you were on the verge of death. Me, who threw you away and went with another man.
That idiot-
There were no tears. She was utterly amazed from the bottom of her heart.
Not at him. But at herself.
What exactly was she doing?
At that rate, inside that boring mansion, she would become an old lady. She had even been thinking that it would be good to
die like that. Without anything. Without hurting anyone. What would be her atonement for that? Kicking him with meager sarcasm- that was all.
That idiot-
Leave me alone. Forget about me. Slowly, find another way of life. Why do you have to trouble yourself for me?
That idiot-
Hurry up and come here. Do it and come here. Say to me the usual words. With a blunt sullen face, say “No problem”.
No.
You can’t. It’s full of problems.
The darkness of the tree shade was the best place to space out.
That idiot-
She couldn’t stand herself. Cowardly. Really cowardly. Clinging on to her miserable feelings, she cowered there for a number of minutes.
When she felt the chill of the night atmosphere, she finally stood up. Walking out of the garden with her weak feet, she headed to her own room in the mansion. To the big bed. She thought that it would be comfortable to just sleep there.
But before entering the mansion, she noticed something. In front of the south side, there was a 25 meter clean pool. She had not even swam once.
“.........”
She stopped her in her tracks, gazing at the pool for a while. With the illumination leaking from the window of the mansion, the surface of the water shimmered. She stared at it with her indifferent eyes.
Shall we take a swim? she vaguely thought.
Rather, she thought to sink into the middle of the water, and just disappear like that. No, if she were to jump into the pool, she wouldn’t be committing suicide. Even then, without knowing the reason herself, she walked to the pool side.
She took off her heeled sandals and entered the pool barefooted.
Cold.
A flavor not found those past few months, she felt the strange freshness of it.
No one was looking in the surrounding area.
Kaname sat in the pool with her clothes one, playing in the cold water with both of her feet for a while, then dipped her whole body under.
Cold.
The dress she was wearing was gently spread in the water, and every time she moved her heavy body it coiled around her. With gloominess she cast it off in the middle of the pool. Her body has somewhat become lighter.
In only her underwear, she looked upwards and floated above the water, splashing in the silence. Looking at the night sky. Countless stars were twinkling in front of her eyes. And then, she tried to truly swim.
She slowly kicked her foot, raising her face and swimming forward. She was progressing in the water. She was no longer in a bad mood, the cold temperature of the water was frivolous in her breath.
Shall she swim faster?
She came to a crawl. With a strong thud of her leg, both hands mutually paddled the water. Speeding up, the striking of the water echoed in the empty pool.
Shall she swim faster?
Why didn’t she try?
She was faster than she thought. With the strength of her arms and legs, her body continuously progressed.
What’s this? Not bad.
She finally pulled out her strength. She neared the end of the pool. She touched the wall, made a quick turn, and swam back the 25 meters.
Without any profound reason, she continued to swim. Like embroidery in the water, it was not a beautiful swimming style. But more like swimming with ones might. Beating on the water, a violent kick in the air, swimming like a body violently twisting. Her breathing became heavy and rough all at once; she did not mind and continued to swim.
And then forward. And then forward.
She made a number of round trips in the pool. Why was she doing it, she herself did not know.
At any rate she wanted to swim. Moving all her body, moving forward.
Forward. Forward. Forward.
Due to a number of months without exercise, she got tired immediately. It was hard. It was difficult to breath. The muscles here and there were screaming.
Even then she swam.
Forward! Forward! Forward!
Beating the water in the dim light, raising a small roar, she continued to swim. Really not pretty, a movement like an octopus trying to drown something. Raising her face from the surface water, she continued forward.
Swim! Swim! Swim!
The water’s coldness must have gone somewhere. Now it was hot. If she struck, the water drops would dance in the air. She
was somehow in a mood to smile. The hardship of her whole body turned into a sensation. Even though it was hard, her heart was released somewhere.
Aah, that’s right.
Together with her nostalgic sensation, she thought about it.
She thought too much.
Hesitation and difficulty would not start anything. No, there was no longer any need for that, but there was something much more important.
Namely.
Swimming, walking, moving forward. She might be tired in half a day.
Even then, swimming like this is not bad.
Forward more! Forward more!
Continuing to swim like that- she did not even know how many rounds she made. If she kept it up she might drown in her own feelings, and so Kaname finally stopped. At the time that she crawled up from the pool side, there was a feeling that steam was rising from all over her body.
Staggering while standing, there was someone at her back who called out a voice.
“This is rare”
It was Sabina. It was because she had been swimming loudly that it was bound to be noticed.
“Is that so?”
Tearing off her shoulders with a breath, Kaname exchanged words with her. It was good to feel her heartbeat beating loudly. She casually lifted herself out of the pool, paying no attention to the wetness of her form or how she might look to someone of the opposite sex.
“It feels good. How about you?”
Like challenging her, Kaname spoke with her eyes glaring. Sabina shrugged her shoulders a little.
“No. But seeing you energetic would be good.”
“I wonder. This is still the worst.”
“Indeed.”
Sabina carefully looked at Kaname with deep eyes, and said, “It seems that you’ve heard, right?”
Forward! Forward! Forward! Swimming, running, moving forward. Certainly there were problems. She could not necessarily last forever, but still… In any case, forward. Forward. Forward.
With only that, she understood that she was talking about what was overheard in the garden. She didn’t know how she knew, but Sabina had noticed it.
Kaname quickly responded.
“Yeah, I heard. Sorry.”
“Then you knew? I tried to kill your boyfriend.”
“Not particularly. Isn’t that alright?”
Kaname laughed with her nose.
“Or what I mean is, he’s not my boyfriend in the first place. But that guy, he won’t be killed by the likes of you. Isn’t that just overly self consciousness? We took your most important thing, sorry, AND I’m cool, right?”
Sabina just stood there with her expressionless face.
“....It’s about time for dinner. Shall I accompany you to the dining hall?”
“Since it’s troublesome I’ll pass” Kaname said carelessly.
“But-”
“If you want me to go no matter what, then prepare Lake Fish made Koshihikari and some Nattou. Aah, and then-I want to eat some Dried Round Herring. Thanks.”
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