Genjitsushugisha no Oukokukaizouki - Volume 1 - Chapter 3.1

Intermission 1: Serina and the Death Spirit Panic 

Parnam Castle in the kingdom’s capital, Parnam. 

You are already aware that this was the royal palace where the king resides, but, recently, there had been a ghost story making the rounds in the castle. This was how it went: 

It happened one summer evening, in the witching hour, when even the grass and trees slumbered. 

One of the castle’s live-in maids was sleeping in her room when she awakened due to the summer heat. She tried to go back to sleep, but just couldn’t seem to. 

Accepting that she was going to have to stay awake, she decided to at least get herself something to drink and headed towards the cafeteria used by the guards and maids. Water was drawn from a nearby mountain for the castle’s cafeteria, and the maids were welcome to take a drink whenever they pleased. 

Then it happened when the maid entered the cafeteria. She saw something that looked like a faint light by the kitchen oven. When she squinted, she could also see what seemed to be the outline of a person. 

Oh... One of the cooks is still here. The maid was relieved to see another person. This being the royal palace, security was very tight. It wasn’t the sort of place intruders could get into. 

That was why the maid thought it was simply one of the cooks still in the kitchen. When she approached, it appeared that the person was mixing something in a pot. The maid was about to call out to them, but the next moment, a chill ran down her spine... 

“Heh heh heh...” 

...because the person let out a creepy laugh. 

The maid felt something abnormal in that laughter, and, despite herself, looked into the pot the person was stirring. In the pot, floating in its oily mud-like brew, there were several bones, bones, bonesbonesbonesbonesbonesbonesbones.... 

There, the maid lost consciousness.

“...So, there you have it. A necromancer appeared in the castle, and may have been trying to summon something. Everyone’s been talking about it! What do you think, Head Maid?” one of the coworkers of the maid who had collapsed asked Serina. 

Serina didn’t let her usual beautiful poker face slip. “...I see. And what happened to this maid?” 

“Huh? What do you mean?” 

“Did it not turn into something like, ‘Stop! You’re going to do perverse things to me, aren’t you?! Like in shunga prints!’?” 

“No?! Instead of tearing off her clothes, actually, they laid a cloak over top of her, and she was discovered sleeping there by the cooking staff the next morning.” 

“Well, that’s bor— I mean, good.” 

“Did you just start to say ‘boring’?!” 

Serina let the maid’s question pass with a vague smile. 

Serina was the personal attendant of this country’s princess, Liscia, as well as being capable enough to be placed in charge as the head of all the maids in the castle, but there were issues with her personality. She was a bit of a sadist. 

What was more, when it came to cute girls, she always wanted to “buwwy” them. Not “bully,” “buwwy.” To toy with them a bit psychologically, nothing insidious; she just liked to do things like make them wear risqué outfits to stir up their sense of shame a little. That her number one target at the moment was her own master Liscia made it all the more incredible. 

Still, a necromancer, is it...? she wondered. 

At her base, Serina was a woman who was good at her job. If ghost stories were spreading in a castle that had been left in her care, she wasn’t so irresponsible that she could ignore them. 

The witching hour, is it...? They say late nights are the enemy of your skin, but... While thinking many thoughts that called for a witty retort, Serina let out a sigh.

—Then, in the witching hour... 

Lantern in hand, Serina headed towards the cafeteria. She walked with such a bold stride that you would never imagine she was walking around a castle in the middle of the night. Soon, she arrived in front of the cafeteria. 

It’s a little late to think about it now, but... If this necromancer doesn’t appear tonight, I wonder just how many nights I will to have to stay up late... 

With a little sigh, Serina stepped into the cafeteria. Fortunately for Serina’s beautiful face, she soon spotted the person in question. 

Near the oven in the kitchen there was a light, and by it, someone was doing something. Serina approached silently, peeking into the pot over that person’s shoulder. Inside the pot was an oily burbling liquid and a large number of bones floating in it. 

“Heh heh heh... Soon... Soon it will be complete...” 

The person stirred the pot, letting out little laughs like that as they did. It was a sight that would have caused other maids to faint, but the capable Serina was able to identify the bones for exactly what they were. 

Those aren’t human bones. They’re from a giant boar, perhaps? I see a number of bird and large fish bones mixed in, as well. Also, while it looks unappetizing, that muddy liquid has a tantalizing smell. 

Serina resolved herself, and tapped the person on the shoulder. “What are you doing there?” 

“Wah?!” 

She must have startled the person, because the big round body leapt into the air. When they turned around, she was able to see their face clearly. 

“M-Madam Serina?! What are you doing here?!” 

“I ought to ask you the same, Sir Poncho.” 

Stirring the pot was the man who had received the name of the food evangelist “Ishizuka” from Souma the other day, and who had been appointed as Minister of State for the Food Crisis, Poncho Ishizuka Panacotta. 

“What, pray tell, are you doing in the cafeteria at this hour?” she demanded. 

“Th-This is... Well...” Poncho flailed his arms about anxiously. He was entirely too suspicious. 

Serina was about to press him further, when... 

“...What’re you two doing?” 

Caught by surprise, she turned around, and there stood King Souma Kazuya.

“There were ghost stories like that going around?” he said. “Liscia is going to get mad at me again...” 

After Souma heard about the rumors from Serina, he stood there scratching his head. 

“In the end, what was it you were doing, sire?” she asked. 

“Oh, well... we were making exactly what you see here,” he said. There were three bowls sitting on the table Souma pointed to. “In the world I come from, it’s called ramen.” 

“Ramen... is it?” 

As Souma had said, the three bowls were filled with ramen. What was more, it was the oily kind made with seafood and pork bones. Souma offhandedly thrust his chopsticks into a bowl and began slurping the noodles noisily. 

“Yep... The soup is almost perfect. But since we’re using gelin udon, it’s a little bland.” 

“There’s no helping that. Right now, wheat is precious, yes.” 

“All the more reason to resolve the food crisis quickly...” 

While watching Souma and Poncho talk, Serina tried her own ramen. Wrapping the noodles around her fork like pasta, she put them into her mouth. 

When she did, the rich, savory flavor of the seafood and pork bone broth surged forward. It was thick, rich, and it had punch, yet the taste of the vegetables had melted into the broth, keeping it from being too rich. What a complex flavor this was. It was greasy, yet her instincts demanded another mouthful. 

Souma and Poncho watched Serina, smiling. 

“I was wondering if we might be able to use the bones and vegetable scraps we would otherwise throw away to make a soup, you see,” Souma said. “I had Poncho studying it. He did it late at night like this, so we wouldn’t disturb the cooks.” 

“Oh, it was a lot of hard work, yes,” Poncho said. “It was a dish I had never eaten for myself, after all.” 

“I see... so this was the truth behind the necromancer, then,” Serina said, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “Still, this is delicious. ...Sir Poncho?” 

“Y-Yes. What is it?” 

“Could I trouble you to teach me how to make this soup?” 

“Of course you can, yes.” 

It seemed that Serina, too, had been charmed by the magic of this oily soup. 

After that, a ghost story spread saying that there were two necromancers. 

At almost the same time, Serina, whose skin had become oddly smooth (an effect of the collagen?) said, “Sir Poncho, about the bones you use in that soup, why not burn and crush them to powder before putting them in?” 

“Th-That makes sense! I’m impressed, Serina! You look at things differently, yes!” 

“Tonight... If you have the chance to try it, let me taste some.” 

“Of course I will, yes.” 

When the maids saw the two of them speaking intimately like this, their imaginations ran wild, but that is a story for another time.