Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 11 - Chapter 7

7. Guidepost

I run.

Run.

It’s dark.

I run down a long, pitch black tunnel.

I can see what looks like light up ahead.

I head for it, and run.

Run.

Run.

I run through the dark.

Towards the light, I run.

I can’t seem to reach it. Even so, I run.

Run.

Run.

Almost there. Just a little further.

It feels like the tunnel is about to end, but it never does.

I run.

Run.

Run.

I keep running, and...

Suddenly, the light overflows.

Leaving the tunnel, I run.

Run.

Run as far as I can.

In the sunlight, my exposed arms and head feel hot.

When I run, it feels nice and cool, so I don’t want to stop.

I run.

Run through the grass.

When I turn back, the sun gets in my eyes, and it’s blinding.

That seems funny to me somehow, and I laugh.

As I laugh, I turn back to the front, and run.

“Hey, don’t go too far.”

I hear a voice saying that.

“Nah,” I reply, laugh again, and pick up my pace.

I don’t want to get caught, I think.

I don’t want to be caught by anybody.

Not that there’s anywhere I want to go.

Even without the wind, when I run like this, it feels like the wind is blowing.

...Hey, seriously... Come back already.

I hear the voice again.

I guess I have to, I think, and stop.

Dad is always busy with work, and he doesn’t get enough exercise. He loves recording everything with his video camera, so he takes his daughter out on his day off, and we drive to somewhere a little ways off, though sometimes we just walk to the nearby park, too, but, anyway, he takes me somewhere and rolls the camera. He did at my preschool graduation and school entrance ceremony. Hina-matsuri and Christmas. Also, my birthdays.

But for all that he records, he hardly ever watches it, right?

“That’s fine,” my dad says. “It’s a record. Someday, there will be a time when we really want to watch it, we can all watch together, and reminisce. I’m recording for when that time comes.”

“Like, when I grow up?” I ask.

“Well, for one example,” Dad answers, “when you grow up, get married, and have a child of your own...”

It feels very strange to hear that. Me, get married?

“You can’t say for sure you won’t, right? Well, it would be completely unsurprising if you did. Probably, someday, you’ll get married to someone, I think.”

...Will I? Get married? Have children? Does that mean I’ll become a mother?

“You might become one,” Dad says.

I have the feeling that won’t happen.

“...Huh? What? Say that again,” I murmured. “Hold on... I couldn’t hear you that well.”

Mom is saying something over the phone. Mom is crying. I can’t hear her well through her tears.

But, honestly, I understand. I heard her say Dad died just fine.

But I think it must be a lie, or I must have misheard. I mean, it feels like something that could never happen, so I ask her to repeat it.

Huh?

What, Mom? Speak properly.

What happened to Dad...?

Run.

I run.

I run through the hall at school.

Out the door, I run.

Coming to a major street, as I run, I search for a taxi. I raise my hand, and run.

I jump into the cab that stops for me. I tell the driver my destination. The taxi crawls along. When a light turns red, it stops.

This is so, so slow, I think. If it was going to be like this, I shouldn’t have taken a cab. I should have run.

The taxi stops in front of the hospital. I try to get out. The door won’t open.

“Miss, the fare. You have to pay your fare,” I’m told.

“How much?” I ask, pulling out my wallet.

I go pale.

Inside it, there’s only 425 yen. Not enough.

What’ll I do, what’ll I do?

“Um, my dad died, so, I’m sorry, about the money...” I stammer.

“Oh, it’s fine, it’s fine, I get it.” The driver opens the door.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I apologize repeatedly, get out of the cab, and I run. I run around inside the hospital.

In a dark place, I watch the videos Dad took. I’m running. Laughing. Acting polite. Blowing out candles on a cake. Singing.

Sometimes, I hear Dad’s voice. Like, “Hey, don’t go too far.”

There’s Dad’s laughter.

When I sing, Dad sings, too.

I sit on the floor in a room with the lights out, watching the images of myself on the television for who knows how long.

Dad’s face never appears once. Not even his hands do.

I only hear his voice. But, occasionally, I think.

Why didn’t I record Dad, too?

“Please, go out with me,” Hakamada-kun says to me beneath a tree. I think about it. Then, I respond.

“What exactly does that involve?” I asked.

“...What does it involve? Like... going home together, and stuff?”

“I just have to walk home with you?”

“No, not just that... like, going out to play, too?”

“I don’t mind playing, but...”

“But what?”

“It’s fine, really.”

I guess we’ll end up getting married, I’m thinking.

Hakamada-kun isn’t saying anything about marriage, of course. He hasn’t said a word about it.

But what does it mean to go out when you aren’t considering getting married? I end up wondering.

“What’s so great about Hakamada?” Yakki asks me, and I tilt my head to the side in thought.

Yakki has her bike parked next to the bench, and she’s eating an ice pop. I’m eating one myself, too. The summer cicadas are noisy, and my ice pop is super cold, but I’m not sweating.

“Nothing’s all that great about him,” I answer honestly.

“He’s no good at all, but you’re still going out with him?” Yakki asks me.

“We say we’re going out, but about all we really do is walk home together.”

“That’s what we call going out,” Yakki said. “Well, did you two kiss, at least?”

“That hasn’t happened.”

“What, you don’t wanna?”

“I’ve never once thought I wanted to, I guess.”

“Why are you even going out with him?”

Well, if I have to say something, maybe I felt like going out with someone wouldn’t be so bad, but now that I think about it, I feel like it’s a little different from that.

While I’m unable to give an answer, Yakki suggests, “Maybe you should call it off?”

I think so, too. But how should I tell that to Hakamada-kun?

When I take my slippers out of my locker and put them on, my feet feel an unpleasant sensation. When I take them off, there’s a red stain on my socks.

I see. I bet I know what this is, I think and inspect them.

It looks like there was ketchup inside. I wouldn’t do that myself, so someone else must have.

“Some people...” I mutter to myself, taking off my socks. Both of my slippers are full of ketchup.

They’re not hot docks, you know, I think.

No, not hot docks, hot dogs. A dock is what you tie a boat to. A dog is man’s best friend. A hot dog is a heated canine.

Even as I think I’m making no sense, I hold one my ketchup-stained socks, walking down the corridor with my left foot still wearing its ketchup stained sock and my right foot bare. There should be slippers for guests somewhere.

“Huh? Me? What’s wrong?” Yakki calls out to me.

The lower half of Yakki’s face is strangely relaxed. The upper half is just a little tense. From that expression, I become convinced that Yakki did it.

“I’m looking for slippers,” I answer.

“Why? Huh? What happened to your socks there?”

“They got dirty somehow.”

“How do you get them that dirty? You’re weird, Me. You’re a little weird, you know that, Me?”

“Am I?”

I decide to break up with Hakamada-kun.

When I tell him that after school, Hakamada-kun is flustered.

“Huh? Did I do something...?”

“You haven’t done anything, Hakamada-kun,” I tell him.

“Then why are you saying you want to break up?”

“I don’t think this is right.”

“Huh? What’s not right?”

“How should I put this?” I say. “Umm, I think you probably do like me.”

“Well, of course I do. That’s why I asked you to go out with me. Wait, so you don’t like me back then?”

“I think my feelings are very different from yours. I don’t understand what it means to like someone in the first place.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have gone out with me in the first place?”

Hakamada-kun’s face is bright red. He’s really angry.

I can’t blame him. I went out with him without much thought, and I’m regretting it. I think I’ve done him wrong. I’ve gotten him hurt.

It occurs to me that not wanting to hurt him was the reason I went out with him in the first place. That ended up hurting him more.

Hakamada-kun was the sort of person I could have a casual conversation with, and when he invited me out, we might have gone out and played with a few other people. Doing that was fun, but then he suddenly asked me out.

In the end, I probably didn’t want to make things awkward by rejecting him. That was why I said yes. The result of that was that it got even more awkward, and the atmosphere now is downright unpleasant. I’ll never be able to chat casually with Hakamada-kun again, I’m sure.

“I’m terrible,” I say.

“You sure are,” he agrees.

“I’m sorry.” I bow my head.

Hakamada-kun says nothing.

I’m looking down. He has his left hand in his uniform pants. His right hand is clenched tightly, quivering.

If I say, Let’s not break up after all, would that quell his anger? But I can’t do that.

“Huh? So you broke up with Hakamada-kun then, Me?” Yakki asks.

I respond that that’s exactly what I did.

“The poor guy,” Yakki says. “Rough luck for Hakamada-kun.”

I think she means tough luck. But I hold my tongue.

“I hope you learn from this, and don’t do it again, Me. People will hold it against you.”

While responding, “Yeah,” I wonder why Yakki would end up resenting me over what happened with Hakamada-kun.

Whenever I didn’t understand things, I used to ask Dad about them. I never consulted Mom much, and I still don’t. Now that I think of it, Mom is like Yakki in a way.

Yakki is usually floaty, smiley, and easy to talk to. But sometimes she can suddenly be cruel. Words so harsh they’ll shock you will suddenly pop out of her mouth, and she’ll go off on someone. Then, when a little time passes, it’s like she doesn’t even remember what she said, and she acts like it never happened.

There have been many times when a little thing Mom says without meaning to—at least, I think she doesn’t mean to—stabs into my chest, like a glass knife, leaving me in pain.

Whenever I talked to Dad about it, he said, She doesn’t mean any harm, and patted me on the head.

She just happened to be in a bad mood, or something along those lines, I always think. She has days like that.

When was that time Dad and Mom were fighting?

“I’m saying it’s not fair the way you act like that!” Mom shouted.

“You don’t have to yell. I can hear you just fine.”

“I’m always the villain. You may be fine with that, but I can’t stand it.”

“You’re not the villain. I don’t think you’re bad. If one of us is bad here, it’s me.”

“You don’t think that, and you know it!”

“I do think that.”

“Well, then what’s bad about you?”

“I’m making you angry. If I weren’t bad, you wouldn’t be upset with me.”

Dad was a quiet person. He was always smiling, a little troubled, or looking worn out and tired.

The day Dad died, Mom sat down on a bench in the hospital, her face in her hands.

“How am I supposed to go on living without you...?”

I sat next to her, rubbing my Mom’s back. I was sure Dad would have done the same.

“I’m here for you,” I told her. “You’re not alone, Mom.”

Mom cried for a while, then nodded. After that, there were a bunch of things that happened that night, and I went into a dark room and watched the videos Dad had taken. Dad didn’t appear in any of them.

In one video, I was running. Where was that field, anyway?

If I asked Mom, would she know? Mom probably knew. Mom must have been with us then.

I want to go to that place. The sunlight shines down strongly, and there’s hardly any wind, and if I stay put, it’s hot, but I can just run.

“You don’t like pink, Meri?” Dad asks me.

“Yeah, not really,” I say.

“What color do you like?”

“White, maybe? Oh, and blue!”

“Light blue, huh.”

The clothes Mom goes out and buys me on her own tend to be pink.

“You’re a girl, so pink really is the cutest, right?” she always says.

Whenever she says that, and I get upset, Dad says helpfully, “Even if she is a girl, I think she can wear any color she wants.”

I want to run.

Let’s run.

I’m gonna run.

“Hey...” I hear a voice calling me.

Who could it be?

Dad, maybe? The voice sounds different.

I want to run more, so I pay it no mind, and I run.

“Hey, Merry...” I think it’s a familiar voice.

I stop. Is it Michiki, maybe?

I turn back.

In the distance, there’s someone. Not just one person. Michiki and the gang, maybe?

“Michiki? Mutsumi? Ogu?”

I raise my voice, calling out to them. I don’t know if it’s three people or not. They’re too far off. Whatever the case, there’s someone pretty far away, and they aren’t moving.

“Mutsumi? Ogu? Michiki? Yakki? Dad? Mom?”

No matter how many times I call, they won’t come. If it’s not Michiki and the others, or Yakki, or Dad, or Mom...

I try to call everyone’s names. Everyone...

Who? Who’s everyone?

It won’t come to me.

I can’t remember.

Why?

Oh, right, it occurs to me. If they won’t come to me, I can just go to them.

This time, I run towards them.

Run.

But no matter how much I run, I can’t get closer to those people. I move forward and forward, but they don’t get any bigger.

I get exhausted, and come to a stop.

Suddenly, there’s a shadow cast.

I turn back, and some large, black thing flies overhead.

What is that?

I follow it with my eyes.

It vanishes over the horizon before I can figure it out.

I give up, and look for those people.

They’re not there. Not anywhere. They’re gone.

I don’t know in what direction. Where did I come from, and where was I going?

The grassy field stretches as far as the eye can see. The grass, the sky. There is nothing else.

“...I’m alone,” I whisper.

My voice doesn’t even sound hollow. It’s kept pushed down inside my heart.

All... alone.

I mull over those words, chewing on them until they’ve lost all flavor, and then it finally occurs to me.

Oh.

I look around.

There’s the sky, the grass, and nothing else, the same as ever.

I died, I realize. That’s why I’m alone.

I feel like there was someone in the distance before, but it’s just my imagination. I died, and ended up all alone, so there can’t have been anyone.

Once you die, you lose yourself, and stop understanding anything, I’m sure.

But before that, I wanted to see them. That wish of mine may have made it feel like there was someone there.

I try to sit down. My body won’t listen to me.

I lower my eyes.

I can’t see my own hands. I have no arms, no legs, no body.

No nothing.

Oh, it’s because I died—I think.

Because I died, there’s nothing left of me.

But it’s strange.

I can still think like this.

Am I really thinking?

Even though I no longer exist?

In this infinite field, with the sky so high...

Field?

Sky?

Where are either of those?

They’re gone.

I see nothing.

Do I hear nothing because the wind isn’t blowing?

I try to close my eyes. Nothing changes. Obviously.

I have no body. So I have no eyes.

The one thing I can do is think.

It’s not clear if what I’m doing is thinking or not, but I think.

Think.

What should I think about?

I decide to count.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Twenty-four. Twenty-five. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. Thirty. Thirty-one. Thirty-two. Thirty-three. Thirty-four. Thirty-five. Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine. Forty. Forty-one. Forty-two. Forty-three. Forty-four. Forty-five. Forty-six. Forty-seven. Forty-eight. Forty-nine. Fifty. Fifty-one. Fifty-two. Fifty-three. Fifty-four. Fifty-five. Fifty-six. Fifty-seven. Fifty-eight. Fifty-nine. Sixty. Sixty-one. Sixty-two. Sixty-three. Sixty-four. Sixty... sixty... four. Five? Sixty... six... sixty... five? Six?

No, let me count. The numbers, please. If I don’t, ah...

I’ll disappear.

Disappear.

Disap...

“Merry.”

There’s a voice.

Someone’s voice.

I want to see you.

Because this is the last time.

This is the end.

Before I vanish.

Everyone, please—

Who is everyone?

Merry? Merry...?

He held my hand.

Wh... what should I do...?

You don’t have to do anything.

I don’t need anything.

Because you’ve already done enough for me.

That’s no lie.

I

was

happy

because I

wasn’t alone.

You were

there for me.

Haru

I

Listen, I

Haru, I

What was it?

I

What was I trying to say again?

I forget

There were things I wanted to tell you

So many things

They’re all spilling away, so goodbye

Oh, if this is goodbye

If I’m going far away

Everyone

 I’m glad I was able to

“Hey, geek.”

I have a stupid grin on my pimply face, when Matt, the big guy who has spent more than five years mocking me, calls me that.

In that moment, I snap. I fly at him. My surprise attack is a success. I push Matt down. I mount him. I flail at his face.

My body is weak. I can’t actually clobber Matt, so I’m flailing ineffectually.

Matt recovers from his shock. He easily pushes me off him. In no time, Matt is clobbering me, and his blows aren’t nearly so ineffectual.

It hurts. I’m scared. I want him to spare me. But I don’t beg for mercy. I defend myself desperately, and grit my teeth. I hold out until Matt’s fierce assault stops.

Matt’s fists start to hurt eventually, and he leaves, spewing profanities as he goes.

Keenesburg.

I lie on the side of the road on South Pine Street, alone, singing a little victory song to myself. I’m a geek, but I’m not weak. Or stupid. I’ll get stronger, and I’ll make my dream come true.

I study Japanese. My main study materials are anime and manga. Also, anisong and J-pop. Then I read Japanese novels. I study.

I was good at the sciences to begin with. Once I start studying Japanese on my own, I stop hating subjects in the humanities so much.

I run. I stretch. I do body-building. Train up my body.

I can’t be a big guy like Matt. Still, I’ve got some muscle on me. No one wants anything to do with me now.

I endure the solitude. I work my hardest. Finally, I set foot on Japanese soil as an exchange student. It’s for a period of about a year.

Why couldn’t I have been born in this country? Anyway, the country is well-suited to me. I’m an otaku and a geek, of course.

With my host family, the Hazakis, I feel a warm sort of familial love that I’ve never experienced with my real family.

In a Japanese high school, a place I have dreamed of attending, I’m able to make real friends for the first time.

I find love, too.

With a Japanese high school girl, a JK, Satsuki. Yes, I get myself a girlfriend with the same name as that girl in Tonari no Totoro.

I hold hands with Satsuki—

We walk al ong an emba nkment, cr oss a bri dge, go into a bo okst

“Jessie, your Japanese is really good,” she says. “It’s, like, so natural.”

...Satsuki?

Jessie?

I ki ss Sa tsu ki.

It’s a cute kiss, where only our lips touch.

...Who? Me? With Satsuki?

I seriously love Satsuki. I want to love her with all the sincerity I can muster, while still remaining true to myself.

Love Sa tsuki while re main ing true to my self...

I feel something is weird. Something is weird. The day I leave Japan draws closer.

Satsuki tells me, “I’m okay with a long-distance relationship.”

I just repeatedly tell her I love her. Because I love Satsuki.

Finally, I return home. I have video chat sessions with Satsuki multiple times every day. We shoot the breeze. I feel happy just with that.

But when our chat sessions end, I feel hopelessly alone and sad. I want to hear Satsuki’s voice again. I start wanting to see her face.

Just as I’m closing one session, because it’s late in Japan, so Satsuki must need to get to sleep, I sense something is weird.

“Jessie, aren’t you being a little cold lately?” Satsuki says, and when I apologize, she snaps at me.

Something is weird. It’s wrong. Everything is wrong.

Who am I? I’m Jessie? I...

“Ageha, we’ll be together forever.” Takaya holds me tight and whispers in my ear.

I want him to hold me like this forever. Takaya’s chin is pressed against my forehead.

Takaya doesn’t shave properly every day, so when he moves, his beard scratches my forehead, and it hurts a little. I remember telling him to shave. He said okay, but he forgets after a few days. Eventually, I give up. I get used to it.

Now, I don’t find this sensation so unpleasant. This time when Takaya and I are wrapped together in a blanket, it’s hot, my head is fuzzy, I’m sleepy, but I can’t get to sleep, and he is so very precious to me. I love him, and I want to ask him to kiss me, but I’m too embarrassed. I want Takaya to do it on his own. However, Takaya is sleeping.

Come on! I get angry. I try to sleep myself. When I do, Takaya’s lips press against my forehead. They gradually move down. I accept them with my own lips.

While sharing a long kiss, I sense something is weird. Something is weird.

Takaya’s warmth fades. He was warm until just a moment ago. Hot, even.

I’m still holding Takaya. I try to warm him up. I don’t think it’s in vain. I don’t want to think that.

Rikimaru is nearby. Karatsu is here. Domiko is here. Taratsuna is here. Nobody is moving anymore.

The blood my comrades shed is now cold. I hear the buzzing of insects. Flies are gathering. I try to brush the flies away with my hand. But I can’t shoo them all away. It’s hard to move my hand at all. When I look, the flies have swarmed around my stomach, too.

I want to do something about that. I don’t know what to do.

Takaya. Wake up, Takaya. I want to call his name. My voice won’t come out.

A fly lands on my lips. It’s creeping around. The fly is trying to get inside me through them. I try to close my mouth. But it doesn’t go so well. Instead, my eyes start to close. I sense something is weird. Something is weird.

“There is a way. Just one.”

I realize something.

Even if I haven’t been told directly, haven’t I been given the key? What is the meaning behind why I, we, are taught Magic Missile, what is in some ways a unique spell, as our first spell?

I see now. So that was it.

“That’s how it was, was it, Wizard Sarai?”

I say that to her directly. Sarai, the great elder of the mages’ guild, simply smiles and says nothing.

I’m being told to think about it myself, I see. To open my own path. If I don’t, I can never reach the true magic. The things I find that way will be my magic.

Even if I ask about that, Sarai won’t confirm it. However, I am confident. I can finally see it. The path I must follow. I will walk the path where there is no path. That is my path.

“Yasuma,” Sarai says to me. “You must not be hasty. Now look at me. Life is long, you see. You can take it slowly.”

Naturally, that was my intention. Even as I sense something is weird, I finally have a clue. It’s odd for me to say this myself, but I think I’m serious and studious. Once I became a volunteer soldier and a mage, I worked myself to the bone trying to master magic. I’ve acquired many spells.

I voice my opinions, and if I feel someone is wrong, I tell them so. Thanks to that, there have been times I’ve butted heads with others and we’ve gone our own ways. However, there are always those who need me as a mage.

As a mage, and as a volunteer soldier, I’ve lived a life I can be proud of. I’m aware of that. Still, something is weird.

I decide to polish my Magic Missile. I am confident this will be my breakthrough. I’m still only halfway there. No, not even that; you could say I’m just starting out.

I can’t fall yet. And yet, I feel something is weird.

“Live strong, Itsunaga. Strong...”

My mother is mostly covered in fallen leaves. I gathered them all myself.

Mother looks cold. She’s shivering. That’s why I think I have to warm her up.

I hold my mother’s hand. Mother grips my hand back. Her grip soon weakens. Mother smiles.

My mother is dying. I know that, too. I’ve seen many creatures die, so I know what death is. My mother is about to die, and is leaving me a message to live strong.

I think something is weird. Something is weird. Whether it is or not, Mother will die. Holding Mother’s hand as she ceases to move, I swear to myself that I will never forget what the people of the village did to Mother and me.

Mother doesn’t let out so much as a word of complaint. However, I am unable to forgive the people of the village. I simply cannot do it.

In my pocket I’ve stowed the short katana my mother had me carry for protection. I resolve myself to avenge her with this blade. If this short katana cannot reach their throats, I will find myself a longer katana, and with it, I will pierce their hearts with a single stroke.

If I tell her that, my mother will surely stop me. So I will say nothing. Silently, I let Mother die in peace. Let her rest.

However, I think something is weird.

Something is weird.

Who am I? I’m Itsunaga? Even I don’t know who I am anymore. Not for my part.

Names change. I don’t care what I am called. I cast aside ten names, pick up a hundred, and possess a thousand.

Diha Gatt. That is but one of the thousand names I hold. However, it is a rather old name. Perhaps the oldest among them.

I am—

Jessie Smith.

Ageha.

Yasuma.

Itsunaga.

Diha Gatt.

Who am I?

The name doesn’t matter. I have a thousand names. I have crossed thousands of lands.

Without des tinat ion? I think something is weird. As I drift in search of sights unseen, something is weird with me.

Standing on the sheer cliffs of the inlet as the wind blows upward, I look out over the sea where bright green turns to blue, and then to deeper blues. Inhaling the suffocatingly strong scent of the sea, I narrow my eyes.

I look down to my own hands. My green hands. My thick fingers. My hard, durable claws.

I am a lone rat.

The Rat King.

I am

Je geha ha tsuna a sie yasu di su ma ie gatt mith ga didididididiha gagagagagagagagagagagagagatt gaitsutsutsutsutsuna gayasususususususususumaa geageagegegegegegegegeagehajessiejejejesiesmismismismismismismismithit hmememememememememememememe merryryryrymemememememememememememe jessiesmithagehayasuma itsunagadihagattratatatatatatatatatat kinginginginging

I mustn’t go any further.

I am running

Run ning

Run

No field

No sky

No thing

Wh ere is this?

No one’s he re

I’m al one

You’re not alone, someone says.

Several people say it. They reach out. Touch me. Without hesitation. Violently. They force their way inside me. They go inside.

Stop. Don’t go. Not inside me. Don’t. Please.

“Merry!”

That’s.

That’s my.

“Merry!”

Call my name.

Call it more.

Tie me down.

Don’t let go.

“Merry!”

“Merry!”

“Merry!”

Oh...

And so, I try to open my eyes.

Kuzaku came into the building.

“What the hell!” he yelled to the group. “Do those things plan to stay here even after dark?!”

Again and again, more times than he could count, Kuzaku had gone outside, and then come back in like this. He had to be exhausted. He was no doubt starving and thirsty. Even so, he couldn’t stay put.

It was easy to understand why. Haruhiro felt the same. It was hard to keep quiet about it. But he couldn’t move away from her side.

Yume was sitting with one knee up by the broken entrance with no door. Though she had a katana in hand, her fingers were just barely wrapped around the hilt.

Yume had remained looking down the whole time. Even if he called out to her, she might not respond. That was the feeling Haruhiro got.

Shihoru was in a similar state. She was sitting next to Haruhiro, hanging her head and not moving.

The birds were still making a terrible racket. Taking turns standing on the edge of the hole in the ceiling, there were more than ten crows, and they were as noisy as ever.

Kuzaku kicked the ground, then crouched. A moment later, he said, “What do we do?”

Haruhiro opened his mouth to say something. Nothing came out.

He licked his lips. They hurt a little. His lips were dry, and cracked.

Haruhiro ultimately just said, “Nothing yet.”

“Okay, then.”

Kuzaku tried to stand up. Were his legs not working? He ended up collapsing.

As for Haruhiro, it wasn’t that he’d just been watching and doing nothing else. It had taken a lot of courage, but he had checked Merry’s state and the state of Jessie, who had turned into something like a thin, leather doll, and he’d done it not once, but many times.

It was especially terrifying to touch Jessie. There was no warmth in Jessie’s skin, and it didn’t feel moist, but it wasn’t bone dry, either.

Haruhiro tried lifting up Jessie’s left wrist. It had weight, like it was supposed to. But not the weight of a human. Was it just as it appeared, and Jessie was nothing but skin and bones now? There was no way he was alive, but he didn’t have the stench of death, either. That meant he wasn’t rotting.

On that point, she was the same.

She had died. Or should have. Haruhiro had been there the moment it happened.

In this present moment, too, she wasn’t alive. He’d confirmed that himself. She had no pulse. Her heart wasn’t moving. Her body temperature probably wasn’t even all that different from the ambient temperature. Despite that, rigor mortis had not set in. She wasn’t rotting.

There was one other thing he had checked, since it had caught his attention.

In humans, if they were alive, the heart was always beating, creating a constant flow of blood through their body. If the heart stopped, naturally, the flow of blood would, too. What would happen then?

Well, blood was acted on by gravity. If a person was lying face-up, the blood would gather into the back of the body. That was evident even looking at a corpse from the outside. It was called postmortem lividity, and that section turned purple.

Haruhiro tried to lift her head up. In order to do that, he had to move Jessie, who had his left wrist pressed up against the wound on her shoulder. Haruhiro gently undid the cloth tying Jessie and her together.

He doubted his eyes. There was a gash-like wound left on Jessie’s left wrist. However, her shoulder was clean.

The massive wound that could fairly have been said to have killed her had now vanished completely. He didn’t see any of the copious amounts of blood that should have bled from Jessie’s wound, either. Even the cloth, which should have been dark with blood, was dry and not particularly dirty.

With a groan, Haruhiro lifted up her head, moving aside her hair to look at the nape of her neck.

Perhaps this result should have been a given.

There was no sign of postmortem lividity there.

What exactly did this mean? She wasn’t alive. However, he couldn’t say she was dead, either. There was no way she could just stay like this. There had to be some sort of change that would occur.

What kind of change? He couldn’t predict that. That was obvious. There was no way he could possibly predict it.

Haruhiro was hopeful it would have to be a good change. At the same time, he was frightened. Something unbelievable might be about to happen. It might already be happening.

No matter what sort of change it was, he had no choice but to accept it. But, in the end, would he be able to?

Awooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

“Whoa!” Kuzaku leapt to his feet.

Yume turned to look outside, too.

“Haruhiro-kun...” Shihoru called out, and Haruhiro nodded.

He hadn’t forgotten. Jessie had told them. When the sun went down, the vooloos would come.

Yume stood on one knee, readying her katana. Someone rushed into the building. Yume let them pass without intercepting them. It wasn’t one of the carrion eaters known as a vooloo. It was Setora with a head staff, followed by Kiichi the gray nyaa.

Setora didn’t even look at Yume or Kuzaku as she rushed over to Haruhiro. “Haru!”

“Yeah,” was all Haruhiro said in response.

Setora leaned the head staff against the bars, then came to a stop standing in front of Haruhiro. She took a breath.

Kiichi nuzzled up against Setora’s shins, meowing with a nyaa sound.

“Where’ve you been all this time?” Shihoru asked.

“Searching,” Setora responded curtly, taking a fist-sized object out of her pocket.

It wasn’t just a matter of size. It was shaped like a clenched fist, too. Was it metal? It looked hard, and seemed to have considerable amount of weight to it. It looked like there were a number of holes in it. A pale blue light leaked out from them.

Haruhiro looked at the object. That was all he did. It didn’t draw his interest in the least. No matter what it was, honestly, he didn’t care.

“This is a pseudo-soul vessel,” Setora explained on her own. “Enba’s pseudo-soul is inside. It’s what you might call the true body of a flesh golem. The necromancer ties a pseudo-soul to a golem made by stitching dead bodies together. I was born into the House of Shuro, and so I have been messing around with the dead bodies of people and animals for as long as I can remember. Even in the village, the House of Shuro is viewed as unsettling. I was often mocked as stinky, too.”

She paused.

“The truth is, a necromancer hardly ever deals with rotting corpses. In fact, a meticulously washed corpse is cleaner and less smelly than a living human. Besides, when used properly, bones, muscles, blood vessels, and organs are truly beautiful. When you see a flesh golem made by stitching these things together begin to move, it’s a moving sight, to say the least. However, once I built Enba, I could no longer motivate myself to work on another golem. The necromancers of the House of Shuro make golems, destroy them, then make new ones. They repeat that their entire lives, aiming to heighten their craft. I was satisfied with Enba. Not that the members of my house ever understood that. It was seen as eccentric for a woman of the House of Shuro to take up raising nyaas. It seems I’m something of an oddball.”

Haruhiro nodded vaguely. If it weren’t for the current situation, he’d probably have listened to Setora properly. But he couldn’t now. He didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t listen. To be frank, he had other concerns.

“Haru.” Setora tucked the pseudo-soul vessel back in her pocket. Kiichi stared up at her. “You love that woman, I see.”

“Wha—” His face twitched, and he lost all words. Why would she say that, out of nowhere?

Why here? Why now?

Awoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!

The vooloos were howling.

Haruhiro looked up to the hole in the ceiling. At some point, all the crows had vanished. He looked down, blinked twice, and took a breath.

“It’s one-sided,” he said.

I can’t lie, he thought. That’s the one thing I can’t do.

“It’s my... one-sided feelings, you could say. That’s not really any of—”

“It’s fine.” Setora crouched down, reaching out with her right hand, and covering Haruhiro’s mouth. Then, for some reason, she smiled a little, and said, “I understand. But listen, Haru,” she continued in a different tone of voice.

Setora’s hand was quivering. She put more strength into it.

“The dead don’t come back.”

Haruhiro could say nothing in return. Not because Setora had his mouth covered. He could easily fix that. Haruhiro was suspicious.

Am I having a dream? A dream in which the dead come back to life? Even though death is the end for people?

With that one statement from Setora, his convenient dream broke down, and he awoke. That was how it felt now.

Setora pulled back her right hand, wrapping it in her left and gripping it. “The golem was, in a way, a product of compromise. The people who later came to be known as necromancers had originally been attempting to resurrect the dead. The acquisition of a relic made it so they were able to create pseudo-souls, and they continued their attempts after the creation of the golem. However, they’ve never succeeded, not even once. Death is an irreversible phenomenon. It’s not just people—no living thing can return from death. Even if that woman starts breathing again, the way I see it, it won’t be the sort of revival you hope for. The woman who comes back may be a different person from the one who died. I hope she’s not some unknown monster, at least.”

Haruhiro said nothing.

“Still, if she’s adorably loyal like a golem, that’ll be something. But what will you do if she isn’t?”

“What will I...?”

“No,” Setora said. “There’s nothing you can do. You will have to recognize and accept it all.”

“I... know that.”

“Really? Can you hold your head high and say you’re prepared to do that, Haru?”

If he was prepared for it, he should have held his head high and nodded immediately. But he couldn’t.

“If you can’t do it...” Setora softened her tone and spoke quietly. “...then there is something you must do right now.”

“Something... I must do?”

“Yes, that’s right. I’m sure there’s still time. Pierce that woman’s head and heart with your stiletto. End it like that. If you can’t do it, I can do it for you. I’m used to shouldering others’ bad karma. I can do it without hesitation. I’ll do it in an instant.”

There’s still time. Is there? I have to do it. Me. With my own hands. That, or have Setora do it. No, if anyone does it, it has to be me. But is that necessary? It’s not. Resolve. Yeah. If I just have the resolve. If I can say I’m fine, no matter what happens.

“Urgh...” There was a groan.

It wasn’t from Haruhiro. Or Setora. It wasn’t from Shihoru, or Yume, or Kuzaku, either.

It was Merry.

Merry’s limbs all thrust outwards. It wasn’t just her arms and legs. Her neck and torso bent back like a bow, too.

“Merry...!” Haruhiro jumped on her. His head was soon knocked back.

“Uwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” he screamed.

It was dark so he couldn’t see well, but something was flowing out of Merry’s mouth, and likely other parts of her, too. What? What was coming out of Merry?

“Ngh...” Haruhiro covered his mouth despite himself, and held his breath.

This stench.

Blood?

Could this be blood, maybe? It was similar to the smell of blood. No, but it was more raw.

“What...?!” Setora backed away.

“M-Merry-chan?!” Yume cried.

“Merry-san!” Kuzaku yelled.

“Eek!” Shihoru let out a little scream.

What was this? What the hell was this? Haruhiro ended up kneeling with his left hand on the ground. The blood, or whatever it was, he didn’t really know, but the liquid that was coming out of Merry got Haruhiro’s left hand wet, and then his knees. There were copious amounts of it.

“Aguh, goh, guh, gah, gwuh, gwah, agah, cack, fugagh...” Merry let out bizarre sounds instead of her voice as she continued to vomit the liquid substance.

What now? What should I do? I can’t just do nothing. I have to do make some move. I’ve got to do something. I mean, she looks like she’s suffering.

“M-Merry...!”

Haruhiro took a bold step forward, hugging Merry around the shoulders. He wanted to stop it. Stop the liquid from coming out. But was it okay to make it stop? Could he stop it? How?

The liquid just kept coming out from inside Merry. Merry was already soaked with it. Haruhiro was, too. His hands, his arms, his legs, they were all drenched. It had splashed up as far as his face. This liquid was probably not just ordinary blood. Or was it even blood?

Haruhiro pressed down on Merry’s right shoulder with his left hand, reaching out to her cheek with his right hand. It wasn’t just her mouth, after all. The liquid substance was seemed to be flowing out of her nose and eyes, too. Haruhiro tried to wipe it away. It was meaningless. It kept on coming out. Was there a bottomless reservoir of it? It never stopped, not even for a moment. But he couldn’t help but wipe it. Because it wasn’t possible for him to just do nothing.

“Merry, can you hear me?! Merry! It’s me, Haruhiro! Merry!”

He wanted to do something, but couldn’t do anything about the liquid substance. It was impossible to stop it when it was gushing out like this.

“Merry! Merry! Merry!” Haruhiro kept calling out to her.

Merry’s whole body was rigid, and she might start flailing around again at any moment. This had to be tremendously hard on her. She was probably suffering.

If she was suffering, that meant she was in a state where she could suffer. In that case, weren’t they almost there? Almost where, though? It was hard to explain. But, probably, it would just be a little longer.

Haruhiro held Merry and shouted. “It’s going to be okay! You don’t have to worry! I’m here! I—we—are here! Merry, we’re with you!”

Your body is here, but maybe you’re still somewhere else. Somewhere my voice can’t reach. You may not even be able to hear my measly voice. In that case, I’ll keep shouting until it reaches you. I’ll roar, let my voice echo, so that it reaches you. I may not be able to take your hand, wherever you are, and lead you back here. But, in that case, I’ll shout for you as loud as I can, and pull you towards me.

“Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Merryyyy!”

Haruhiro hugged Merry tighter. He tried shouting her name one more time. His voice had long since gone hoarse. He didn’t care if he ruined his throat. He’s call her name as long as he had to.

Merry inhaled. Up until now, all she had done was spew the liquid substance.

She started coughing. “Ha...ru?”

Through a great deal of coughing, he was certain he heard Merry say that.

Then she managed, “Haru. It was you, Haru?”

What was Merry thinking had been Haruhiro? Haruhiro didn’t know. But it didn’t matter.

“Yeah! It’s me, Merry. Haruhiro. You know me. You can hear me, right? Merry. You came back. Merry! Merry...!”

Merry nodded. It looked like her coughs were subsiding. Her breathing was still extremely ragged. Regardless, Merry had demonstrated her consciousness. Clearly, in a way that couldn’t be misunderstood. Merry had called Haruhiro’s name. She understood what Haruhiro was saying.

Which meant...?

This is unbelievable.

No, I can believe it.

What words can possibly express this feeling? “We did it”? “Thank goodness”? Should I say, “Welcome back”? “I’ve been waiting”? “Thank you for coming back to us”? “I missed you”? They’re all true, but even if I said them all, it wouldn’t be enough. But if Merry’s with us, that’s more than enough.

Awooooooo! Awoo! Awoo! Awoooooo! Awoooo!

“Haruhiro!” Kuzaku shouted. “It’s those vooloo things!”

“Vooloos,” Merry said clearly. She tried to get up.

Haruhiro immediately tried to hold her down. “Merry, not yet—”

“Now isn’t the time to say that.”

She was absolutely right. Now wasn’t the time to be telling her she wasn’t ready yet. Haruhiro helped Merry to her feet.

Merry tried to walk, then stumbled. Her head staff was leaned up against the nearby bars.

Merry took it in hand. “For equipment,” she murmured, then let out a low groan and shook her head. “It would help to have a shield. A bow and arrows, too. They should still be in the storehouse...”

“Merry...?”

“We need to hurry.”

Merry crouched down, searching through Jessie’s body, which was not so much a corpse as a cast-off shell. What exactly was she doing? Before he had time to ask, Merry stood up.

“I’ll show you to the storehouse. It’s really close. Come on.”

“Er... Uh, okay.”

Haruhiro had some doubts, but he cast them aside. Now wasn’t the time to talk about them.

Setora and Kiichi were by the entrance, as well as Yume and Shihoru.

Kuzaku was outside. He was a little ways away, his large katana shining with white light. He must have cast the light magic spell Saber on it.

Awoooooooo! Awooo! Awoo! Awooooooo!

They were close. The howls of the vooloos.

“That’s huge!” Kuzaku cried out.

Was he talking about a vooloo? Where were they? Haruhiro couldn’t see them yet.

“O Light, may Lumiaris’s divine protection be upon you. Protection.”

Merry used light magic. A shining hexagram appeared on Haruhiro and everyone else’s left wrists.

“Hahhhhh!” Kuzaku swung his large katana. There was a flash of white light, and...

It was just a glimpse, but I think I saw one. A vooloo. Is that it? But seriously, isn’t it kind of huge...?

“Kuza—” he began.

“Whoa...?!”

The shadow of the apparent vooloo swallowed Kuzaku. No, had it jumped on him and pushed him down? Haruhiro couldn’t even take a step. Yume, Shihoru, and Setora were the same.

It was only Merry. Leaving behind Haruhiro and the others, Merry rushed in.

“O Light, may Lumiaris’s divine protection be upon you...” Merry unleashed a blinding light towards the vooloo that was on top of Kuzaku. “Blame!”

It let out a yelp, its entire body shuddering, and, though it was only for an instant, this time they got a clear look at it.

It was covered in fur, and probably blackish in color. Blackish brown, blackish gray, or something like that. It was a carrion-eating wolf.

A wolf? Haruhiro thought incredulously. How is that a wolf? What part of it? Wolves aren’t that big, right? They’re more lean, aren’t they? Isn’t that thing too solid? But I feel like the shape of its head was dog-like. It was like a wolf. But taken as a whole, it gave off a very different impression. Rather than a wolf, that thing was like a bear.

The moment the word “bear” came to mind, he remembered. Jessie had been talking about them.

“East of the Kuaron Mountains, there are vooloos that are bigger than the mist panthers in Thousand Valley. They’re the size of bears,” he’d said.

Bears.

That was it. He’d said bears!

“Gwahhryahh!” Kuzaku pushed the vooloo away, getting out from beneath it. At almost exactly the same time, maybe immediately before, maybe right after, Merry wound up and slammed her head staff into the vooloos face. It looked like that gave the vooloo pause.

Merry cried, “Haru!” as she took off running. Was she heading for the storehouse, or whatever it was?

“We’re moving!” Haruhiro said, then immediately it occurred to him, This is bad. I’m not making decisions myself. I’m just going with the flow. What’s the point in me even existing? No, my reason for existing isn’t important here.

“Ahh, damn it!” Kuzaku cried. “Thanks, Merry-san! I’m glad you’re okay! Zahhhhhh!” He struck the vooloo with his large katana, then turned and ran.

“Go, everyone! Go!” Haruhiro swung his arms around, urging them on.

Setora and Kiichi, Yume, Shihoru, and finally Kuzaku followed after Merry. Haruhiro followed behind Kuzaku.

The vooloos were coming.

Awoooooooo! Awoo! Awoooooo! Awooo! Awoooo!

There were vooloos howling here and there. How many of them were there? There were many. How could there be several of those bear-like things? No, before he worried about the other vooloos, he had to worry about the one from before.

Fweh, hah, hoh, hah, hah, hahh, hah, hahh.

He could hear its breath as it closed in. The vooloo from before was making a frenzied charge. It would catch them. It was coming to attack.

“Ru...!”

Haruhiro let out an odd exclamation as he jumped to the side, rolled, and got back up.

That was close! Its claws, or something, grazed him!

The vooloo let out a dissatisfied growl, crouching back its large body, like it was preparing for something. Was it?

Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap!

Haruhiro ran. He ran as fast as he could. But he felt like he couldn’t hope to beat it in speed.

Look. See? The vooloo’s already this close.

It was dark, so he couldn’t see it that well, though. Its eyes were shining.

It’s close. It’s too fast, way too fast. It’s gonna get me.

“Eagh...!”

He tried to get away somehow. Did he not make it in time? The next thing he knew, he was being crushed. There was an intense animal smell. He couldn’t breathe. Was he going to get eaten? Devoured?

“Take thiiiis...!” Kuzaku yelled.

Was Kuzaku turning back to make a strike on the vooloo that was trying to eat Haruhiro?

The vooloo yelped, but it didn’t let Haruhiro go.

Kuzaku shouted, “Hey, you!” and slashed the vooloo again. “What do you think you’re doing to Haruhiro? Get off! I’ll kill you! Die, you damn bear!” He repeatedly hit it with his large katana.

No, I don’t think this thing’s a bear, Haruhiro reflected. Or is it a bear? Does it matter?

Finally, the vooloo got off Haruhiro.

Immediately, Kuzaku pulled him to his feet. “Haruhiro, are you okay?!”

“Yeah, somehow...”

“This is bad news. I can’t cut that thing. Its fur’s kind of—Oh...?!”

Kuzaku was knocked back. The vooloo had charged in again. Kuzaku, however, instinctively defended himself with his large katana. He managed to dig in and not to get knocked over somehow.

Awooooooooooooo! The vooloo was about to pounce on Kuzaku.

Haruhiro drew his stiletto. He hadn’t even had a weapon ready before now.

What the hell am I even doing?

He grabbed onto the vooloo that was about to charge Kuzaku again, wrestling with it and stabbing his stiletto into it. He stabbed and stabbed. He was definitely stabbing it like he meant to, and the vooloo was twisting around because it didn’t like it, but—this wasn’t working, was it?

The fur. This oily, tough fur was the culprit. The matted fur itself wasn’t that hard, but it was dense and layered, forming something like a cushion. With something as short as his stiletto, Haruhiro could stab it in to the hilt, and the best it might manage was to pierce that fur cushion.

This was even more trouble than the guorella’s shell-like skin. If he was going to do this by the book, would he have to target the eyes, or something like that?

The vooloo let out a howl as it raised its upper body. It was standing on its hind legs.

“Oh?!” Haruhiro yelped.

Is this thing really not a wolf, and actually a bear? I mean, when this things stands, it’s really huge!

“Whoa?! Ohhhh?!” Kuzaku looked surprised.

Haruhiro desperately clung to the vooloo’s back. But the vooloo bayed and shook its body violently, so he couldn’t take it.

This is bad.

I can’t do this.

I don’t have the strength.

He was shaken off, went flying, and instead of the ground, he struck the wall of a building. The wall wasn’t able to stop Haruhiro, so he broke right through it.

“Ungh... Guh...”

Huh?

It’s... bright?

“Yikes!” That was... Yume’s voice?

Haruhiro was on his back. He’d hit his head hard on his way through the wall, apparently. Because of that, he was a bit shaken up.

Looking around, he eventually found Yume. Shihoru, too. And Setora, and Kiichi.

Oh, so that was it. The storehouse. This was the storehouse. That made sense. That was why the lights were on. That was Yume was here, Shihoru was here, Setora was here, Kiichi was here, and, of course, Merry was, too.

“...Huh?”

How bizarre.

For some reason, it looked like Merry wasn’t wearing any clothes.

What was this? An illusion? It had to be. After all, there was no reason she would be getting naked here.

“Haru...!”

Merry flew over to him. Not literally, of course. That was a given. Merry couldn’t fly. But she was fast.

When a naked Merry hugged him, Haruhiro thought maybe this might be heaven. Nah, probably not. There was no heaven, right? But in that case, was this reality...?

“Hey, you!” Setora threw a greenish coat at Merry. “Put that on, at least!”

“Ah...!” With Haruhiro’s head still in her lap, Merry took that green coat-like garment and covered her breasts. “Th-This is, um, my clothes were soaked, so I was getting changed...”

“O-Oh.” Haruhiro shut his eyes tight. “...Yeah. I won’t look. No matter what.”

“Meow! Kuzakkun’s in trouble!” Yume shouted.

“We’ve gotta support him!” Shihoru yelled.

Yume and Shihoru are making a fuss for some reason. No, not for some reason. Kuzaku’s taking on a vooloo on his own. Me, meanwhile? What is this? Is it okay for me to be using Merry’s lap as a pillow, shutting my eyes tight while she changes? It isn’t, right?

“Er, um... Haru, I’ve got the upper half on, so...”

“Oh, ohh...”

Haruhiro opened his eyes and hurriedly sat up. He peeked at Merry.

Merry was in the middle of standing up. She had the green coat on, like she ought to. Only her legs were bare. She said she’d covered her top. What about her bottom...?

He shook his head. Even if she was naked down below, what did it matter? Besides, if she had a change of clothes, yeah, she was going to want to change. Her previous outfit was a total mess at this point. Honestly, Haruhiro wanted to get changed himself.

Yume was carrying a bow, and had a quiver full of arrows slung over her shoulder. Setora had a spear in hand. She was carrying a square shield, too.

Shihoru was carrying a shield as well, but not for herself, so she probably meant to pass it to Kuzaku.

Looking at it again, small though it was, this building was most definitely a storehouse. The racks were lined with swords and spears, and a number of shields were leaned up against the walls.

There were bows. There were arrows. There was a shelf with cloth and pieces of clothing on it. It wasn’t clear what was inside them, but there were jars. It wasn’t just lamps hanging from the rafters. There were some other things he couldn’t readily identify there, too.

Haruhiro looked in Merry’s direction despite himself. He immediately averted his eyes. Merry was crouched down, fumbling around inside her coat. She was probably putting clothes on.

“Nuwah! Zwah! Seahhhh!” Kuzaku was fighting the vooloo by himself.

“R-Right!” Haruhiro returned to his senses, but before he could give any orders...

“The shield!” Setora shouted, rushing Shihoru.

“Right...!” Shihoru responded well, heading out through the hole Haruhiro had busted in the wall. Yume followed after her.

Haruhiro slapped his left cheek with his left hand. Get it together, he told himself. He followed after Yume. Setora brought Kiichi and went with him.

When he looked, Shihoru had just finished shouting, “Kuzaku-kun...!” and throwing the shield. The shield rolled to Kuzaku’s feet. Kuzaku glanced down at it, but that was all. It looked like he didn’t have the leeway to pick it up.

Kuzaku closed in on the vooloo, shouting and swinging his large katana. The large katana struck the vooloo’s left shoulder, but he couldn’t cut it, after all.

Kuzaku pulled back his large katana. “Keeahh...!”

He swung it down. The vooloo took a blow to the top of the head, but it just stumbled and backed away. The cushioning from its fur was a thing to be feared. What were they even supposed to do about it?

“You dolt, don’t slash! Thrust!” Setora shouted.

She didn’t just shout that. She raced towards the vooloo. Her spear outstretched, she rammed it into its throat. Incredibly, it stabbed in properly.

Setora let the spear go without hesitation, jumping back. “Get in there, you idiot!”

“Rarrrghhhh!”

Kuzaku charged at the vooloo. When Kuzaku went on the attack, unleashing his combat instincts all at once, he was violent to the point of being a little scary. And that was how it was now.

Kuzaku slammed his whole body straight into the vooloo. His large katana stabbed deep into its chest. Surprisingly, by that point Setora had already turned back to head for the storehouse.

“Haru!” When he heard his name and turned, a spear was flying his way.

Why? he questioned, but Haruhiro instinctively caught it.

“You, too, hunter!” Setora threw Yume a spear as well, and took one for herself. “Come on!”

Even as Haruhiro thought, I’m a moron, indecisive, incompetent, useless, and beyond all help, he put away his stiletto and readied the spear.

He’d probably never used a spear before. But so what?

Kuzaku shouted, “Get back for now!” as Setora and Yume rushed in, each trying to get there first.

The one thrust Kuzaku had gotten in had been especially effective. The vooloo was completely on the back foot.

Saying that Haruhiro’s, Setora’s and Yume’s spears were going to skewer it was a bit of an exaggeration, but all three of their spears stabbed into it wonderfully. The vooloo bent backwards in pain, but twisted its body just before it would have ended up on its back, so it fell on its side. It might have wanted to get on all-fours, but it looked like the four spears and Kuzaku’s large katana, which were jammed in its throat, chest, and other places, were getting in the way.

“Out of the way!” Kuzaku, who had temporarily fallen back, jumped on the vooloo in a frenzy. He tore his large katana free, and immediately stabbed. He pierced through it.

The mouth. Kuzaku rammed his large katana in the vooloo’s mouth. That wasn’t all.

“Nuwohhhhh!” He twisted his large katana with brute force, pulling it up. The large katana bisected the vooloo’s head from inside. No matter how tough of a beast it was, that had to be a lethal blow.

Haruhiro was relieved. Then, as if to tell him off for being too naive, Setora gave the gray nyaa some order. “Kiichi!”

He really was being naive. So naive, he had to wonder what had gotten into him. There were still vooloos howling all over the place, weren’t there? This was hardly over. They hadn’t overcome them yet. If they hadn’t gotten out of this yet, what was he acting relieved for?

Merry left the storehouse, her head staff in one hand, a lamp in the other. That green coat which didn’t look priestly in the slightest was a fresh new look for her, and Haruhiro couldn’t take his eyes off her.

He could only be exasperated with himself for that. There was something seriously wrong with him. He wasn’t managing to do anything a leader should. Wasn’t Setora acting far more like a leader? Was he in a slump or something? Was that it?

No, how could he call this a slump? He hadn’t been cut out to be a leader to begin with. He’d never once been a good leader. Still, he’d had no choice but to do it, so he’d done what he could to the best of his ability, hadn’t he?

If he was going to call this a slump, he was in a perpetual slump. It was normal for him to be in a slump, and he’d never be able to get out of it for the rest of his life.

He was dull, but he had to think.

Setora had given Kiichi some sort of order. It looked like Kiichi had gone off somewhere. Setora probably meant to have Kiichi look for an escape route for them.

Merry was carrying a lamp. Was that okay? The light seemed like it would stand out. But vooloos were nocturnal, right? They could see in the dark. If the party couldn’t see, they were at a disadvantage in the darkness. It was better to have the light.

Anyway, for now they had to run. To get away from here.

He was an uninspiring leader, and there were far more things he didn’t know or couldn’t do than otherwise, but he couldn’t whine about that, and since he couldn’t get out of this alone, yeah, he’d have to borrow everyone else’s strength.

“Setora! Which way should we go?!” he shouted.

“Wait.” Setora made a sharp noise with the gap between her teeth. She closed her eyes, turning her head around.

It was faint, but there was a slight, Nyaa.

Which direction had it come from? Haruhiro couldn’t decide. It seemed Setora had heard it. She opened her eyes, pointing to the left.

“This way, for now. I can’t guarantee it’s safe, but—”

“Good enough. Kuzaku, take point!”

“’Kay!” Kuzaku picked up the shield and nodded.

“Setora, stay by my side and give directions.”

“Okay, understood.”

“Yume, stay in the back.”

“Meow!”

“Merry, you...” He came close to muddling his words. He felt like he might cry. What good would that do? He just had to do as usual. To think, he was still able to tell Merry the usual. “You protect Shihoru, and stay in front of Yume!”

Without missing a beat, Merry replied, “Yeah!”

“Shihoru, conserve your magic,” Haruhiro added. “We don’t know what’s out there.”

His voice was halfway to tears.

“Okay!” Shihoru replied quickly, her voice was tearful, too.

“Okay, let’s go!”

Haruhiro and the party took off running.

He could hear the howling of vooloos. He sensed them moving around, but just how many vooloos were there, and where were they? He had no grasp on that whatsoever.

Setora frequently said, “This way!” and “That way!” giving directions. Haruhiro just followed them, and even though he felt like his whole body was being torn up by a sense of powerlessness. While he couldn’t shake it off just by accepting it had always been this way, he was able to endure it.

Looking back, it wasn’t like there had been absolutely no times when things seemed to be going well. It only happened occasionally, though. Most of the time, it didn’t go so well.

Even if he got results, he never got a perfect score of one hundred out of one hundred points. It was always, I should have done this,  or, I should have done it this way, but I just can’t. He would think he needed to fix his shortcomings, but he’d also think it was a pain to, and wouldn’t commit to it.

The score he gave himself was always below fifty points. Forty-seven or forty-eight points, maybe.

“It looks like we can get out!” Setora shouted.

This is when I really need to get my act together, thought Haruhiro.

“Man, do you have any fun living like that?” He thought he heard that idiot Ranta’s voice, and it made him sick.

If you’re asking if it’s fun or not, it’s not like it’s ridiculously fun or anything, he retorted silently. But you’d be surprised; it’s actually a little fun. Not that you’d understand that, Ranta. When you live like me, there are no intense ups and downs. Instead you get pretty happy or sad over the little things. I’m fine if someone wants to call it a boring way of life. I can’t help that. This is who I am. I can only live as myself.

It looked like he’d gotten back to his usual self. Because of what had happened with Merry, he’d uncharacteristically lost his composure. Despite that, Merry had come back somehow, and Kuzaku, Yume, Shihoru, Setora and Kiichi were all fine, too. He should probably consider this lucky.

Because Haruhiro, who was the leader despite all his faults, had been useless. Given that, it wouldn’t have been strange if this had turned into an even bigger disaster.

He was fine with a score of fifty out of one hundred. Even a score in the forties wasn’t bad. Looking for a sixty was asking too much. He’d do his best to avoid scoring lower than forty. He himself was around a fifty, but he wanted to make it so everyone to be able to score a sixty, maybe even a seventy.

Somehow, he wanted to make this party a sixty or better. He’d contribute what he could to make that happen. That was Haruhiro’s job as a leader.

Know your place. Don’t overextend yourself. If you lose your balance because of doing so, it defeats the purpose. Just calm down for now. Look. Listen. Feel. Use everything you can. Especially your head. Even if it’s repetitive and there’s no progress, don’t lose interest. Keep doing it without getting tired of it. There is something more important than you moving forward, step by step, yourself. Move your comrades forward. I think it would be fine to have larger ambitions, like “I want to do something big,” or “I want people to think I’m incredible,” but in the end, I have hardly anything like that. Wishes like “I want to see new sights,” or “I want to rise up and look out into the distance” have nothing to do with me.

But for my comrades, I can try reasonably hard.

I don’t hate that about me. I do my best for my comrades. That’s my core. If I lose sight of it, I can’t keep walking. No, I can’t even stay standing.

They got out of the village, joining back up with Kiichi as soon as they entered the fields.

Awooo! Awoo! Awoooo! Awooooo!

The howling of the vooloos was coming from behind them... or at least that was what Haruhiro thought, but he couldn’t be sure. If it was true, they could run away like this. He really hoped that was the case.

“Kiichi!” Setora sent the nyaa out again.

Kiichi ran ahead of Haruhiro and the party. If there were vooloos up ahead, he would alert them.

“I can still kill another one or two!” Kuzaku was winded, but he sounded reliable.

“Merry, put out the lamp!” Haruhiro shouted.

“Got it!” Merry called and put it out.

The vooloos had good night vision. That said, having a bright lamp lit out in the middle of the field was like telling them their prey was right here.

There were a lot of clouds, and no moon. There were few stars. It was a suffocating sort of darkness. Even so, once his eyes adjusted, Haruhiro could just barely make out the outlines of his comrades beside him.

The howls of the vooloos were not close. They’d gotten further away—or so he thought.

“They are carrion eaters, after all...” Setora muttered.

She had to be talking about the vooloos. The vooloos weren’t that interested in living prey like the party to begin with, so they might not be that fixated on them. Ideally, that would be the case. That said, that was only his hope, so they couldn’t let their guards down.

“Yume, she’s thinkin’ there aren’t no more of them around here!”

If Yume felt that way, it might be true. But no, no, they couldn’t relax.

Stay cautious. To the point of being cowardly, if anything.

“Shihoru?! You’re not tired, are you?!” Haruhiro couldn’t see her very well when he turned back to ask.

“I’m still okay!” Shihoru replied.

Immediately, Merry added, “It’s okay!”

If Shihoru was pushing herself beyond her limit, Merry would have stopped her rather than say it was okay.

Setora let out a snorting laugh. “You people...” she started to say, then closed her mouth.

“Huh? What?”

“No,” Setora said, and shook her head.

Kuzaku’s steps were heavy. It looked like he was having a pretty hard time. It was a bit late to be noticing, but Kuzaku must have been struggling all along. Haruhiro wanted to let him rest, but not yet. Even if he was going to let him rest eventually, now wasn’t the time. Though, that said, it would be a problem if he collapsed on them.

“Let’s drop our pace,” Haruhiro said.

“’Kay!” Kuzaku stopped running, and started to walk with long strides.

The howling of the vooloos was a good distance away now. Could they make it?

Whew. Haruhiro let out a deep sigh. Whenever there was an opening, he tried to loosen up. That frailty was his greatest enemy.

He was his own greatest enemy. It was ironic that when his own, weak self was the enemy, he was actually pretty frightening.

He came close to thinking about Ranta, but banished the thought. Why would he think about that guy? They weren’t comrades anymore. But...

Maybe I don’t think that? I don’t believe he completely betrayed us.

Forget about it. I can say, at the very least, that thinking about him isn’t going to do any good right now.

I want to relax. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I just want to take it easy and relax. To eat something good, then to sleep soundly. For just one day, no, even half a day, I want to spend my time like that. It’s an incredible luxury. I know that. I have to put aside even dreaming about it for now.

“Kuzaku,” he said.

“Hey.”

“Setora.”

“Yeah.”

“Shihoru.”

“...Right.”

“Merry.”

“Yes.”

“Yume.”

“Mew.”

“Okay,” Haruhiro said with relief.

Am I tired?

There’s no point putting up a strong front. I’m tired. It’s best to be aware of these things. But I can keep going.

How long do we have to keep walking? Until it’s bright out? Will I last until then?

I should calculate, predict, and plan things out. It’s difficult to make precise predictions. Even so, just flying by the seat of my pants is the worst thing I can do.

“Are we heading east, more or less...?” Haruhiro asked.

Yume told him, “Headin’ northeast. Maybe a little more east than north, though?”

Whatever the case, we’ll eventually end up setting foot in the mountains. It would be best to rest at least once before then. The odds are good that there are no vooloos around here. Let’s rest. Should I say that now, in advance? It would be bad if we lost focus, so maybe I shouldn’t say it until the time comes.

Unaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooo!

There was a sudden cry that seemed to come from Kiichi, and Setora took off running.

It seemed some unforeseen situation had arisen.

Haruhiro reflexively shouted, “Setora, wait!” to stop her.

Setora didn’t stop. She was already out of sight. He couldn’t leave her be.

“Don’t rush! Get ready, then move forward!”

Haruhiro drew his stiletto, passed Kuzaku, and chased after Setora. He soon realized there was something up ahead. He didn’t so much see it as feel it. Initially, he thought there was a swell in the ground. Like it might be a small hill.

Gyaa! Gyaa! Gyaaaaaaa!

Kiichi was yowling. It was a frightening voice, like cats used when they were fighting.

The hill moved—or he got the sense that it had.

“Kiichi, get back!” Setora shouted.

“Haruhiro?! What is it?” Kuzaku caught up with him.

Haruhiro had come to a stop at some point. “I don’t know, but—”

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

A low, heavy sound like the earth rumbling was closing in on them. He had no idea what it was, but there was no doubt about it. Without any logic at all, he could say one thing with complete certainty. This thing was bad news.

“Whew! Ohhhh!” Yume had good eyes, so she might be able to see something surprising, unlike Haruhiro.

“Ma...!” was all Shihoru could get out. Had she been trying to say something about magic?

“This is—”

There was something deep about the way Merry was speechless. Why did Haruhiro feel that was the case?

“I don’t really know what it was,” Kuzaku muttered. “But whatever world I came from before, there’s no way it was like this. Seriously, Grimgar is such a—”

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

It was here. What was coming? Haruhiro didn’t know. How was he supposed to deal with it if he didn’t know? He had no way of knowing that. But he had to do something about it. It was awful. He might not feel as strongly as Kuzaku, but he was sick of the way Grimgar did things like this to him. Sick of it or not, though, Haruhiro and the others were alive. They were living here. In Grimgar. The image of Merry, with her eyes closed, unmoving, flashed through his mind. It was enough to tear his heart to pieces. He never wanted to go through that again.

“Retreat!” Haruhiro backed away as he raised his voice. “Don’t split up!”

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

What was it? Something was coming. That much was clear. What was coming? If he only had some clue...

“Dark...!” Shihoru summoned Dark the elemental.

Yume took a sharp breath, and fired an arrow. Did it hit? Or not?

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

Merry said something in a pained voice. It was probably “Sekaishu...” or something like that.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSekaishu.

Was that a name? But why would Merry know its name? That didn’t matter.

Haruhiro jumped back. He felt like something had touched the tips of his toes. No, he didn’t just feel like it. Something had definitely touched him.

“It’s coming from below!” Haruhiro shouted to warn the others.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Damn, I can’t see. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN What is that? NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN But it keeps pressing in closer, that I can tell. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I can feel it, keenly. NNNNNNNNNNNNNIt’s a thing, but at the same time not a thing. NNNNNNNNNNN... I feel like it’s invading my heart. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN... No, don’t be led astray.

He felt something brush the tip of his toes again. Haruhiro didn’t jump back. He stomped it instead of running away. It wasn’t hard. It wasn’t soft, either. He could stomp it, but his foot sank in deep, and he felt like he might get pulled in.

In the end, Haruhiro tore his foot free and jumped back. Was that dangerous, just now? If he’d left his foot there, who knew what would have happened.

That said, it was a thing. No matter how crazy of a thing it was, he could touch it. It had an actual physical form.

It touched the tips of his toes again. Haruhiro kicked it away.

“Don’t be afraid! It’s just—just some weird monster...!”

“Ahahaha!” Kuzaku laughed. “O Light, O Lumiaris, bestow the light of protection on my blade!”

He drew the sign of the hexagram with the point of his large katana and it began to emit light. When Kuzaku swung his large katana, some black lumps were sent flying. They were like massive caterpillars.

“They’re just caterpillars!” Haruhiro said, correcting himself from earlier. But he said it mostly to himself.

They were caterpillars. Mere caterpillars. They were caterpillars, so they were creepy. They might be poisonous, so he had to be careful, but there was no need to be unduly frightened.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

This NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN... What was it? It bothered him, but he wouldn’t be able to figure it out even if he dwelt on it, so it was best not to worry about it. Haruhiro kicked the caterpillars that got close to him. Backing away a little at a time, he kicked, and kicked, and kicked away the caterpillars which gave him an unpleasant sensation when he did.

Kuzaku didn’t back away much. “Ooorahhhhh!” He made a big swing with his large katana to sweep away the caterpillars.

Yume was using her katana, too, it looked like.

Was Merry swinging around her head staff? What were Setora and Kiichi doing? He couldn’t check.

Shihoru cried, “Go, Dark!” She was apparently sending out Dark.

It was questionable if the elemental had any effect.

Either way, this NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN was irritating. It was like deep inside his ears, inside his head, a metal orb was vibrating. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN It was a unique, low rumbling noise.

Right after he kicked the caterpillars for the umpteenth time, Haruhiro realized he had a nosebleed.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN What could it be? Behind his eyes it felt hot, painful even. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN “Guweh!” Kuzaku suddenly threw something up, his sword flashing as he nearly fell to his knees, cutting up more caterpillars. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN There were tears, no, these weren’t tears. NNNNNNNNNNNNN Blood, there was blood coming out, from his eyes. NNNNNNNNNNNNN Haruhiro coughed. NNNNNNNNNN He was dizzy. NNNNNNNN He was caught. NNNNNNNN His right leg. NNNN By the caterpillars. NNNNNN Haruhiro fell on his backside. NNNNNNN This NNNNNN was bad. NNNNN It felt awfully cold. NNNNN Like he’d lost NNNNNNN his right foot. NNNNNNN What was NNNNNN a Sekaishu? NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN No, this was no good, no good, no good. NNNNN He kicked the caterpillars with his left foot, kicked, and kicked them away from his right foot, then crawled away and fled. He had to get away. It was going to swallow him up.

“Dark!” Shihoru called.

Dark let out a bizarre vwoooooong sound as he shrunk down as he flew, and Haruhiro could see the arc of where he was going. Dark was going to slam into the main body of the caterpillars, or primary mass of them, the thing that was like a small hill made of caterpillars.

But all that happened was that the NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN noise grew stronger, and there was no other effect.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!” Kuzaku was doing a good job fighting on his own, swinging his large katana this way and that, five or six meters ahead of Haruhiro, but he was in the process of being taken in by the caterpillars.

“No! We can’t let this go on!” Merry was practically screaming. “Run! With everything you have! Get some distance from it! I’ll...!”

What was Merry going to do? Why Merry? Casting aside his doubts, Haruhiro turned to go.

Kuzaku. Kuzaku was making no attempt to move. Had he not heard Merry’s voice?

To Merry, Yume, Setora, anybody, he yelled, “Watch Shihoru!”

Protect her! I’m counting on you! Haruhiro thought as he rushed towards Kuzaku. He stepped on and over the caterpillars, brushing them away, opening a path.

“Kuzaku! Get back, Kuzaku!” he yelled.

Kuzaku turned towards him. “Ah! Sorry!”

“Hurry!”

“’Kay!”

Haruhiro ran as the caterpillars, a great number of them—no, was it better to say a great volume of them—rushed in from all over.

Kuzaku ran hard, too. If the caterpillars wrapped around him, that part of his body would go cold.

The NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN sound was getting stronger, too.

Haruhiro somehow beat the caterpillars off, shook them away, and ran for his life. The caterpillars were not advancing particularly quickly. That was his one salvation. That was why, though he didn’t think for a moment that he could handle this situation, he felt like maybe he might be able to shake them off.

There was someone, probably Yume, who took his hand. Shihoru was probably beside them. Was Setora holding Kiichi? Also, Merry.

Merry.

Merry was...

“Delm, hel, en, saras, trem, rig, arve!”

“Oof?!”

“Doh?!”

The oof was probably Haruhiro, and the doh came from Kuzaku. Haruhiro and Kuzaku pitched forward at almost the same time as an intense blast of hot wind struck them from behind.

It was crazy hot. Rather than hot wind, it might be more appropriate to call it a blast wave. Haruhiro narrowly managed to roll forward, but when he looked back before getting up properly, it burned his face. “Augh!”

No, it might not have burned him, but the heat felt painful enough to make him think he had maybe gotten a little singed. It was far too large to call it a pillar of flame. There was a wall, no, a cliff of flame rising before him.

Magic.

This had to be Arve Magic.

But it wasn’t Shihoru’s magic. Shihoru only used Dark these days. Besides, Shihoru hadn’t acquired a single Arve Magic spell.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!” Kuzaku cried as he crawled forward at an impressive speed.

Haruhiro stood up. Hot. There were sparks flying off the cliff of flames. It was more than just hot.

Haruhiro sheathed his stiletto, covered his face with his hands, and stumbled towards his comrades.

Shihoru was cowering as she stared at the cliff of flames. She seemed a little out of it.

A few words slipped from Shihoru’s mouth. “Blaze Cliff.”

That had to be the name of a spell. But Shihoru wasn’t the one who’d used that Arve Magic.

Yume looked at Merry who was beside her. She immediately averted her gaze.

“I...” Merry looked down, pressing her left hand to her forehead. “I... Sekaishu. Removal. With just this. I can’t. So I. Magic. I... used magic. While I still can. I—”

Setora was holding Kiichi. Crouching down, she set the gray nyaa down on the ground. “Priest. What is Sekaishu?”

“Sekai...shu.” Merry mumbled. “I...”

I don’t know, she continued in a mumble that trailed off and vanish.

Haruhiro stood there dumbfounded. There was practically nothing he could do.

I don’t know. That’s what Merry had said.

Sekaishu. Even after she had clearly spoken that unfamiliar word, Merry had used magic. Using Blaze Cliff. Arve Magic. This was likely the second time they’d seen that spell used. The first time had been in the village, with Jessie.

Merry didn’t know it. Light magic was one thing, but a priest like Merry couldn’t use Arve Magic.

“We have to run, while we still can.” Haruhiro made every effort to make sure his voice didn’t quiver. Then, walking over to Merry, he extended his right hand to her.

Do I have the resolve? he wondered. I will recognize it all. I’ll take it in, and accept it.

“Let’s go, Merry.”

Merry raised her face. He didn’t intend to wait for her to nod. Haruhiro took Merry’s hand.

Yeah, of course. I have the resolve.

Haruhiro took Merry’s hand and started walking. First, they had to get away from the Blaze Cliff. He didn’t know what Sekaishu, or whatever it was, was, but they’d run away from that nonsensical monster. Then they’d head east.

If they went east, they should come to the sea.

If they could reach the sea, they’d manage somehow.