Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 14.2 - Chapter 1.05

5. Top Secret

Once, there was a man. Okay, yes, there are men everywhere, but don’t bring that up now. This is just a preface to the story. Or rather, a preface to the preface.

Anyway, there was a man. The man was once a volunteer soldier. Now, this is an all-too-common story, but together with his comrades the man fought, and fought, and fought; day after day he fought, and though sometimes he rested, he mostly fought, and earned money. He fought a ton. After all the fighting, the end came suddenly.

“Hey, Takakage! Takakage?! Takakage?! Pull yourself together...!”

“U-Usuradani... I-It’s no good, I can’t...”

“Don’t say that, Takakage! Don’t give up! If you give up, that’s game over! So don’t give up, you idiot!”

“D-Don’t call me an idiot... The people who call people idiots are the real idi... ots...”

“That’s what you’re gonna get mad over?! Hey?! In this situation, that’s really what you’re going to get mad over?! I mean, this clearly isn’t the time!”

“I... I’m not... mad...”

“You so are! I can tell! You’re totally mad!”

“...I’m not... mad...”

“Takakage?! Takakage?! Takakageeeeeeeeeeee?!”

“Ru... zo...”

“What?! What did you say?! What?! If you’ve got something to say—”

“So... ru... zo...”

“Soruzo...?”

“Hey! Usuradani!” One of their other comrades grabbed Usuradani by the arm and pulled.

“We need to run! The way this is going, the rest of us will go down, too...!”

“How can we leave Takakage...?!”

“Fine, you stay! The rest of us are going!”

“The hell?! I’m going, too! Of course I am! So, there you have it, Takakage! I won’t say good-bye! Just, so long...!”

*This is a reconstruction based on interpretation of hearsay and rumors. It may vary slightly from the actual events. Please understand.

After the loss of Takakage, Usuradani began to feel he had reached the limits of life as a volunteer soldier, and he quit.

However, though he could resign from being a volunteer soldier, he could not resign from being human. Actually, the only way to stop being human, generally, was to die, and he had quit being a volunteer soldier because he didn’t want to die, so he had to live, and to do that, he needed to make a living—so, after much consideration, he chose to enter the food and drinks business.

“I do like to eat, after all. If I’ve gotta eat, I want it to be tasty. I mean, eating bad food makes me mad. This is pretty obvious, but you only get to eat a limited number of times in your life, right? Well, when you eat something disgusting, you’ve wasted one of those chances, and that pisses me off. I get the impression there are plenty of people, male and female, who want to eat good food, so maybe a restaurant could work? I’ve got some savings, so why not try? Let’s do this. Yeah! I’m gonna do it...!”

*This may be slightly different from the actual events. Please understand.

Usuradani had been in a six-person party. With the loss of Takakage, there were five. Once Usuradani left, four. Four people? Four’s not enough for this, was the thinking that led to two of those four joining Usuradani, and they started a food and drinks business as partners.

“Taking a little from each of our names—Usuradani, Tsumozuka, and Yanku—how about we call it Usutsumoya?!”

“Hold up, Usuradani. Why’s your name first?”

“Yeah, yeah. We can go with Yantsu’u instead.”

“Hey, wait, Yanku. That only gives me one letter. That’s not right.”

“Shut up, Usuradani. Your original suggestion gave you guys two syllables to my one. I only got the Ya.”

“Stuff it, Yanku. I mean, what kind of name is Yanku anyway? I’ve been wondering all this time. The hell is Yanku supposed to be?”

“Wha—Usuradani, that’s what you thought...?”

“Sorry, Yanku. I’ve been thinking that, too.”

“Et tu, Tsumozuka?! Whatever! I can’t deal with you guys anymore! See ya!”

“Oh, yeah? See ya.”

“Stop me! You’re supposed to stop me! At least once!”

“Nah, forget it. You’re too much of a pain.”

“Damn it! You better not forget this, Usuradani! You neither, Tsumozuka! I swear I’ll make you regret this!”

This may have varied slightly from actual events, but, well, that’s more or less how Yanku left after quarreling with the rest of the group.

Usuradani and Tsumozuka put off naming the business for the time being, and spent all night talking about what kind of food and drinks business they wanted to run—over drinks.

“...Yeah, I want a woman.”

“Huh? What’re you talking about, Tsumozuka... The food, man. The food. This is a restaurant we’re gonna be running here...”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Usuradani? What’s the one appetite that’s equal to our desire for food...? Our desire for sex, obviously!”

“Yeah, and?! Are you screwing with me here?! I’ll beat the hell out of you!”

“Bring it, grey-hair...!”

“H-Hey, I’m sensitive about that! Tsumozuka, man, I can’t let that one slide!”

“If you’re not gonna let it slide, then what?!”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Did you just say you’d kill me?! Kill me?! Ohhh, you did, didn’t you?! You said the one thing you shouldn’t have, didn’t you?!”

“Oh, shut up!”

“You hit me?! Even my own father never hit me!”

“Yeah, maybe your father never did, but you’ve been hit so much you seem used to it!”

“Well, sorry! Who’re you to tell me what I can be into?!”

“You’re into getting hit?! We’ve known each other a pretty long time, and I never knew that. I never realized. Wow, that’s gross! You’re a creep!”

“I don’t want to hear that from you, grey-hair!”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Greeeey-haaaaiiiir.”

“You sang it?! You went and sang it?! With vibrato?! With a unique groove?! And you sound weirdly good?! Oh, enough of this! I can’t deal with you anymore. Bye-bye!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to work with you, either! See ya, grey-hair! I mean, Usuradani! See ya...!”

“Usuradani and grey-hair don’t sound similar! The number of syllables doesn’t even match...!”

Even if the details here vary slightly from the facts, Tsumozuka left more or less under those circumstances, and Usuradani ended up managing the restaurant business alone.

Usuradani thought and thought, and after a process of trial and error he settled on a stall that would offer noodles made with flour. Noodles made by kneading flour with a small amount of salt and water were already widespread in Alterna. Usuradani initially meant to compete in that market segment, too, but the more he thought about it, the more he started to feel he didn’t stand a chance. If he was doing the same thing as other people, the sales wouldn’t be there.

Usuradani went around eating at restaurants that served noodles. He pressed on with indomitable spirit as he looked for something different that would sell.

As a result, he was able to find one hope.

If I’m making a noodle dish, my focus should really be on the noodles.

With a certain adjustment, he succeeded in creating a unique noodle that was like nothing anyone else had, and yet it made him think, This, this, this is it... It felt awfully familiar for some reason.

Then, considering cost and a number of other factors, Usuradani narrowed down the menu of his restaurant to just one dish. He would stake everything on that one dish. It was sink or swim. If he failed, he would cross that bridge when he came to it. He took a sip of the soup from his all-or-nothing dish, and slurped some of the yellow noodles. Then, with a single nod, Usuradani whispered to himself.

“You are soruzo. The last, mysterious word that Takakage, the man who gave me the impetus to go on this journey, left me with—Soruzo. I name you soruzo...!”

The details vary slightly from the facts, but the above is the secret legend surrounding the origin of soruzo.

Ranta stood before a man with salt and pepper hair—Usuradani, the owner of the soruzo stall—performing a brilliant kowtow.

“Please...! Bestow upon me the secret art of making soruzo! Why am I speaking like that?! I dunno, but, seriously, soruzo is the best, so, please, please, I’m begging you...!”

Usuradani crossed his arms, closing his eyes in contemplation.

Then, suddenly... his eyes snapped open, and he glared at Ranta.

“No.”

“Gabyoon!”

Ranta flipped over, still in his kowtowing pose.

“Gabyoon! Gaaaabyoon! Gabyobyoon...! No way, seriously?! You looked like you were going to say yes! Or was I just misunderstanding?!”

“You were misunderstanding. Why would I teach a young pup like you, who I’ve got no ties or obligation to, the secrets of my business?”

“B-Because! I’m taking part in a cooking battle! In order to win, I’ve got to make just the right dish! I know soruzo’s the thing! Aren’t you honored?! You are, right?! Of all the dishes in Alterna, I chose soruzo! Okay?!”

“You think I care about your stupid contest? It has nothing to do with me.”

“It may have nothing to do with you, but I’m performing a kowtow and asking you, aren’t I?! Look! I’m begging you! Come on, come on, come on!”

Ranta flipped himself back over, and performed a number of high-speed kowtows.

“With all the times I’ve begged you, you could just teach me, you cheapskate!”

“Cheapskaaaate?!”

“Whoa, whoa. I’m sowwie. My true feelings just slipped out! No, no, my tongue just slipped a bit!”

The way things were going, a knife was bound to come flying in his direction. Left with no choice, Ranta stood up and began brushing the dirt off his knees.

“Fiiiine. I get it. I won’t ask again.”

“Good choice. I wouldn’t teach you, even if you did.”

“In exchange...”

“How are you so arrogant about every little thing...?”

“I’ll learn by watching! All you have to do is show me how you work! That should be fine, right?! You aren’t gonna complain, are you?!”

“...You really don’t listen to what anyone is saying, huh?” Usuradani let out a sigh, then he spat out, “Well, whatever. Do as you please. But if you get in my way, I’m running you out of here.”

“Got it! I won’t make you regret this!”

“I already kind of do...”

“Hahahaha! You’re just imagining it! That’s all!”