Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 16 - Chapter 5

5. Between the Front, and the Back, and the Shadows, and the Sky

The sun was about to rise. He hated the way morning came every day. There were plenty of other things he hated, too. More than he could ever count.

The grassy hill was littered with white stones. Under the dim predawn sky, they seemed to glow faintly, almost like some sort of mushrooms.

He’d hated this scene ever since the first time he witnessed it. It was creepy. Sickening. He just couldn’t stand it.

He came to a stop in front of one white stone. It bore a crescent moon emblem and the name of the deceased.

As he looked down at it, a smile crossed his face.

It was not voluntary. Rarely did he want to smile. Yet, still, he was able to. You could almost call it a talent of his.

He kicked the ground with his heel.

Again and again.

He sighed.

He looked up at the sky, scattered with clouds.

At first glance, they seemed still. But they were moving. They never stopped. Their shapes changed, too.

He was smiling, the same as ever.

“This is real,” he mumbled, then lowered his eyes to the white stone once more.

He read the name.

Spoke it out loud.

Over and over.

His smile never broke.

He put his right foot on the stone. Braced his left leg. Pressed hard against the marker. The gravestone was large enough you could wrap your arms around it. It was just a big rock, but it didn’t budge in the slightest.

He moved his right foot.

There was a footprint on the tombstone.

He could look at it with a smile. Not that it was funny. He could smile regardless. Even if he wasn’t happy, even if he wasn’t enjoying himself, he could smile anytime, anywhere.

“Yeah, I don’t really feel anything.”

He cocked his head to the side slightly.

He felt nothing.

Was that truly the right way to put it?

“This isn’t real.”

He nodded, then started walking.

He strolled along leisurely, checking the names on each of the gravestones.

“Ahh, so this is where you were.”

He came to a stop.

He pronounced the name on the grave marker as clearly as he could.

He crouched, touching the stone with his hand.

He traced the name carved into it with his fingertip.

He was smiling.

“Hey, what do you think? The sky feels so real, but my feelings are removed from reality, you know? Have things gradually become less real? Or was it like this all along? I don’t remember anymore. What was it like, I wonder?”

He wasn’t expecting an answer.

Dead men do not speak. They do not feel. Do not think. Besides, it was dubious whether the owner of the name carved into the tombstone had ever existed at all.

If he were to smash this grave until nothing was left, to erase it completely, the last trace of the dead would be lost.

Some people might say that their memory would remain. However, that “memory” was frail and transient. If something major happened, people would soon forget it. There was no more to it than that.

Obviously, they might recall it again at any time, by chance. But by that point, some memories would be different from what they were before.

Memories were mutable, ever-changing things. They were altered by one’s mood, self-centered interpretation, and what happened around them, being recomposed all the time.

They were like bubbles.

Beautiful bubbles, with a rainbow sheen.

They burst when touched, so it was best not to.

Someone was approaching. He’d long since noticed them. He could have drawn his sword, Beheader. It was a smallish longsword at first glance, but he could bury it in stone with all his might and the blade wouldn’t break. It was a genuine relic. But he didn’t even put a hand on the hilt.

Someone was coming. But who?

They walked with creeping steps, but they hadn’t managed to fully erase their presence. Because of that, he had some idea who it was. That’s why he let her be. She was standing behind him.

“Boo!” she cried, hugging him from behind.

He had the same smile as before on his face, looking at the gravestone, not her.

“...Hmph. Booooring. You’re not surprised at allll.”

“If you want to surprise me, you’ll need to come up with more of a twist.”

“Like thiiiis?”

There was a loud smacking sound as she kissed him on the cheek.

He wasn’t flustered. He didn’t really feel anything from it.

“That didn’t surprise me, but when you put your weight on me like that, it’s a nuisance. Get off, Hiyo.”

“Whuh?! You’re calling me heavyyyy? How can you say that to a young maiden?”

“I’ll kill you,” he told her plainly. He probably wouldn’t actually do it, but he wouldn’t have minded.

“...Scaaaaryyyy. Ooookay then!” Hiyo reluctantly got off him.

He stood up, and started turning to face Hiyo. Midway, another figure entered his vision. Now that caught him by surprise.

He had more or less anticipated that Hiyo would show herself. He’d made a point of stopping by this hill rather than returning straight to Riverside Iron Fortress. Hiyo would come. He’d predicted that. In fact, he’d done it to offer her an invitation.

The tall, thin man was standing five or six meters away from Hiyo and him.

He wore a towering, wide-brimmed hat, making him look even taller than he actually was. But even accounting for that, the man might have been close to two meters tall.

Despite his height, his shoulders were oddly slim, with an extreme slope to them. The cloak he wore was dark, with a hue that was hard to place as red, or blue, or green. Though he carried a white staff, it didn’t seem as if he required a walking stick.

Because he wore his hat low over his eyes, and also had a long, curly beard, it was hard to make out the shape of his face. He was probably human. But he might have been some other race instead. Maybe he wasn’t a living being at all.

The man did not move much. It was unclear if he was even breathing. From here, there was no evidence of any life functions.

“Oh, my.”

He gave the man a slight bow. He never took his eyes off him as he did.

“Sir Unchain. I hadn’t expected you to come out of the Forbidden Tower yourself.”

Sir Unchain’s beard shook, as if trembling. Had he let out a silent laugh?

“Hiyo was a bit surprised too, you know?” Hiyo said with a shrug. “Master said he wanted to talk with you himself, Shinocchi.”

“It’s an honor.” He looked at Hiyo. “But don’t call me that silly name. Not that it upsets me, but it does make me want to shut you up in the fastest way possible.”

“Th-There’s no need to get so aaaangry, is theeere? We’re pals, aren’t we, Shinocchi? Ohh! Sowwie! That was a joke. Just a little friendly kidding around! Shi-Shinohara! Shinohara-san, Shinohara-sama! Are we good now? Geez, you just can’t take a joke...!”

“Because your jokes aren’t even worth cracking a smile over.”

“No, no, Shinocchi, you’re smiling right now, you know...? Oof! Time out! That one was an accidental mistake! Shi-no-ha-ra!”

“Hiyo.” Sir Unchain spoke in a low, husky voice.

“Yesh?!”

Hiyo seemed ready to jump up into the air as she turned to face Sir Unchain, her back ramrod straight.

Sir Unchain swung his right hand, the one he did not hold the staff with, from left to right just once.

“Begone.”

“Yessir!” Hiyo made a gesture that looked like a salute, then turned on her heel and dashed away. For a while, she headed towards Alterna, then made a panicked change of course and headed up the hill.

“I can’t understand why you use her,” Shinohara accidentally let his true feelings slip.

“Heh...” Sir Unchain let out an indistinct utterance.

He shifted his staff up and down slightly. That staff made of animal, or perhaps human, bone was almost certainly a relic.

“Is that not what people are like, in the end?”

Shinohara stared at Sir Unchain.

To think that this man — this monster that Shinohara wasn’t even certain breathed — could create a human.

“Ainrand Leslie.”

When Shinohara spoke his name once more, the monster slowly raised his chin. What looked like eyes peered out from beneath the brim of his hat.

Were those eyes? There was no white, nor were there pupils. Just holes. Shinohara looked again. Those weren’t holes. They weren’t eyeballs. Were there some black objects stuck in his eye sockets? They couldn’t be mere glass eyes. Those had to be relics.

“Shinohara.”

“...Yes. What is it?”

“You are one of a select few — a valued comrade.”

Shinohara was not so credulous that he could take the monster’s words at face value. In all the time since he awoke here in Grimgar, he never had been.

“Thank you,” Shinohara smiled.

He was no comrade. He was a tool. A hound, at best.

However, the monster had deemed Shinohara useful. That much was certain.

“I view you as my savior. If I hadn’t met you, I would be no different than a roaming ghost with no goal. But now I have purpose. Thanks to you.”

“If only there were more like you.”

“You tried to bring them in, and failed. Did Hiyo mess up?”

“Something went wrong, or perhaps... some unknown element has brought on an unexpected situation.”

“An unknown element,” Shinohara repeated the words.

He’s talking about her, huh?

“You erased their memories with a relic. Like you’ve always done to us.”

“That is correct.”

“It’s more convenient not to know, not to remember. Or perhaps I should say there are a lot of inconveniences that come with being able to remember.”

“Yes. However...”

“She did not forget.”

Merry.

He couldn’t imagine the woman was anything special.

She lost a comrade. That trauma had manifested as a personality disorder. As a priest, she became difficult to use. That changed for the better when she met a group of simple youths.

It was an all too common story.

There had to be a number of other volunteer soldiers who shared a similar experience.

“...Why just her?”

“That is completely unclear,” the monster said.

Was the wind starting to pick up?

No, that wasn’t it.

That sound was the monster’s breathing, or perhaps a groan.

“We must watch her.”

“You’re asking me to?”

“Who else could I ask?”

“Got it. I’ll pay attention to her.”

“The commander of the Expeditionary Force, or whatever they call it...”

“I met him. Jin Mogis. It sounds like he wants to be king of the frontier.”

“To be king.”

“He’s more than sly. The man never misses a trick. That’s for certain. He’s audacious, and he’s cold.”

“Should he be removed?”

“I wonder. He’s fundamentally lacking something.”

“What is that?”

“Power.”

“He is not deserving of our fear, then?”

“I’m sure there are uses for him.”

“How would you use him?”

“Depending on how things develop, even if it becomes difficult to control the Volunteer Soldier Corps, he can be used as a check on them.”

“The Volunteer Soldier Corps.”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t expect they would be too much for you to handle.”

“Soma, Akira, and Rock have yet to return from the depths of the Wonder Hole. But even without them, the Corps managed to take Riverside Iron Fortress with ease.”

“If Soma returns...”

“I can’t control him. If he doesn’t come back, I won’t have to worry about it, but it’s dangerous to be too optimistic. He’ll return eventually. If Soma and Akira work together, they may produce a result you don’t want.”

“Jin Mogis. We should use him... you think?”

“I doubt you need my advice, but it’s an option.”

“You are one of us. Your opinion is always worth hearing.”

“You could manipulate the Expeditionary Force. Just like the late Margrave.”

The monster nodded.

He turned his back to Shinohara and walked away. His legs were like sticks, without a shred of flexibility in how they moved as he walked. Yet his head and shoulders barely moved up and down. There wasn’t even the sound of his clothes rustling with each step. If the monster hadn’t cast a shadow, you would have had to conclude he was some sort of ghost.

Shinohara suddenly felt compelled to look down at his own feet.

He had a shadow, like he should.

“I... Do I want to go back? Really...?”