Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion - Volume 4 - Chapter 10

10. Those Who Remain and Those Who Are Left Behind

“Oh, man...” Haruhiro groaned, rolling over in bed. Just changing his position was enough to cause unbearable pain all over his body. “I’m gonna die...”

After mumbling those words, No, no, no! he rejected them. I shouldn’t use that expression so lightly. But, still, it really hurts.

“...You’re a real ogre, Barbara-sensei,” he moaned. “Not that I didn’t already know that...”

There was a skill called Assault. It was one of the thief fighting skills. The name made it sound strong, but as for the kind of skill it was, well, it was a desperate attack.

You accepted being hit by any counterattack in return for landing a combo on the enemy. You didn’t even consider defense or evasion. You just attacked, attacked, and attacked some more.

It wasn’t just a matter of swinging wildly, though. You used weapons efficiently, creating as little of a gap between attacks as possible. Instead of taking defensive or evasive actions, you reduced the risk of a counterattack by keeping up a relentless assault.

If there was a counterattack, there was nothing left that you could do. You’d have to graciously accept death. You had to kill before being killed. It was a manly skill.

Haruhiro was resting his exhausted and hurt body in the top bunk of his bed back in a dimly lit room at the volunteer soldier lodging house. The new equipment he had bought, a new, good quality dagger and a bludgeoning weapon called a sap, were lying at his side.

The sap was a short club made of a flexible material, about 30 centimeters long, with the end of it being heavier. The whole thing was wrapped in leather cord, the end of which would wrap around the user’s hand.

Haruhiro had prepared the new dagger and sap to use while learning Assault. In other words, to power himself up, Haruhiro had chosen to learn Assault and adopt a dual wielding style.

Haruhiro was, of course, not ambidextrous. He was right-handed. It wasn’t simple to use a weapon in his left hand. When you factored in that he would be using a weapon in both hands, it became even more difficult.

Barbara-sensei had told him to just get used to it. It should be natural for you to hold your weapons the entire time you’re awake, and I want you holding them while you’re asleep, too, she had said.

Haruhiro held his dagger and sap. Holding his weapons around the clock was too much, but he tried to touch them like this whenever he had time.

The six days he had spent learning Assault had been as punishing as they always were. For the first two days, he had just spent a lot of time experiencing Barbara-sensei’s Assault first hand. For the two days after that, he had practiced the patterns for Assault basically without sleep or rest. For the last two days, he had sparred with Barbara-sensei—ultimately, Haruhiro had never successfully hit Barbara-sensei with Assault, but she’d hit him with her wooden swords more times than he could count. He had fainted several times and had to be healed by a priest that Barbara-sensei called in.

So, technically, I’m unharmed, Haruhiro thought. Or, rather, I’ve healed. My body still hurts all over, though. That, and it feels heavy. This goes way beyond just feeling sluggish.

“Ranta’s not back...” he murmured.

Shihoru and Yume aren’t at the lodging house, either. They had both left to learn new magic and skills. Is that what Ranta’s doing, too?

Haruhiro suspected Ranta was off goofing around, but apparently he wasn’t.

Haruhiro had plans to go to the thieves’ guild again tomorrow to learn another skill, but with his body in this state, was he going to be able to do it?

I’m not convinced, he started to think...

“...but that’s not something I can afford to be saying, huh,” he finished aloud.

My body feels horribly sluggish, but I’m hungry. I should eat something before I go to sleep.

Haruhiro willed himself to get up, sheathing his dagger and fastening his sap to his belt.

As soon as he got down from the bed, he quickly drew his dagger and sap and fell into a combat stance.

“...Too slow,” he said.

This isn’t good enough, he thought. He put away his dagger and sap once more, then drew them. He tried it several times, but it just wasn’t feeling right.

“Aww... Well, I guess it’s fine. No use rushing it...”

You don’t have enough spirit, Barbara-sensei had scolded him many times.

Vigor. Spirit. Backbone.

I know that, though, Haruhiro thought. Even if I want to change, even if I try to change, it’s not that easy. I want to, though. To be more... positive? Always bright and energetic. The kind of guy who can drag everyone along with him. But to still be cautious, and be able to get going when the going gets tough, that’s the kind of leader I want to be.

“...But I’m just an Old Cat, after all.”

Choco’s trade name was Cheeky Cat.

When Haruhiro suddenly recalled that, he felt like he had to sit down.

What good is sitting down going to do? he wondered bitterly. Choco’s gone. We might have been able to become close, but any hope of that is completely cut off now. Dwelling on it won’t do me any good, but I can’t help but think about it occasionally.

“I need to stop...” Haruhiro put away his dagger and sap.

Food. It’s time for food. I should eat. If he got something good to eat, he was sure that would cheer him up.

The moment before he stepped out of the room, he sensed a presence.

There was something out in the corridor.

Ranta? No, if it was Ranta, he’d come in. Shihoru or Yume? If it was them, they’d at least call out. Merry would do the same, so who is it, then? This is creepy. There’s no such thing as being too careful. It could be a thief. Not likely, though.

He used Sneaking to kill his footsteps as he approached the door. Now what?

He decided in an instant. He drew his dagger in his right hand and opened the door with his left. The guy was standing right on the other side of the door. He was pretty tall. Haruhiro jabbed his elbow into the guy’s solar plexus.

“Gah...!”

Without missing a beat, Haruhiro circled around behind him, and was about to stab the man in the neck, when—Wait, I know this guy.

“...Huh? You’re alive?” Haruhiro asked.

“Ow...” The man was holding his belly with one hand and grimacing, but there was no doubt about who it was.

It’s Mr. Tall, Haruhiro thought. From Choco’s party. A ghost...?

No, that’s not it. It can’t be. I thought he died at Deadhead Watching Keep. I was sure Choco’s entire party were wiped out. Was I wrong?

“...Well, sorry for being alive,” the tall guy muttered.

“No—it’s nothing to apologize for... but... uhh, what about the others...?”

“There’s no one but me left,” Mr. Tall said, taking a deep breath. “And I was sure I was going to get killed just now.”

“W-Well, that’s what happens when you just stand there like that,” Haruhiro said. “You can’t blame me for thinking you were suspicious.”

“Is that how it works?” the guy asked.

“That’s how it works.”

“I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“That’d be a good idea,” Haruhiro said. “Well, anyway, I’ve gotta get going.”

“Ah.”

“Huh?” Haruhiro responded.

“...Wait, I wanted to talk.”

“To me?” Haruhiro asked.

“Well, like, you and I are the only ones here, pal.”

“Well, yeah, but—huh? What? What’d you want to talk to me about?”

“Well... I wonder,” Mr. Tall scratched his head. “Uh... can I ask for advice?”

“Huh?”

“Can’t I?” the guy asked.

“Well, I mean—”

Sure, I’m his senior and all, but we’ve never really talked before, Haruhiro thought. I don’t feel like starting now, either. I mean, I do feel sorry for the guy, but still.

Choco’s party had had six people in it. Mr. Tall had lost five comrades all at once, and he’d been left all alone. What had happened to him after that? Haruhiro didn’t know, but if the guy was coming to him for help, he probably wasn’t having a grand old time with a new group of comrades.

“...We can talk a bit while we eat, if that’s fine,” said Haruhiro.

“That’ll do.”

“Okay,” Haruhiro said. “It’ll be my treat.”

I have to question why I’m trying to play the good senior here, but a little sympathy for the guy probably won’t hurt me, he thought. I mean, I know what he must be going through.

The food stall village near the craftsmen’s town was close to the lodging house, so they decided to look for something there. For the moment, soruzo was off the menu for Haruhiro. He might never eat it again.

They went to a stall with every variety of fried meat and vegetable skewer imaginable and ate a bunch of them. Mr. Tall just ate the hot skewers Haruhiro offered him, not trying to say anything.

“Well, that’s fine,” Haruhiro said. “Wait, no, it’s not. Didn’t you have something to ask me about?”

“Ohhh,” the tall guy said. “Yeah, I guess.”

Haruhiro might not be one to talk, but he thought Mr. Tall was awfully brusque. He seemed intensely indifferent and cynical. He stood over 170 centimeters tall, but his posture was awful.

“But, you know, I’ve got something to ask,” the tall guy said awkwardly.

“Sure.”

“A favor, you could say.”

Haruhiro was startled. “From me? A favor? Huh? What...?”

“It’s really hard to say this,” the tall guy said uncomfortably.

“Dragging it out won’t help...”

“Guess not.”

“It may be rude to say it,” Haruhiro said, “but you’re kind of a pain, you know that?”

“Kuzaku,” the guy said.

“Your name?” Haruhiro asked.

“Yeah. My name. You’re Haruhiro-kun, yeah?”

“Well... yeah, I am,” Haruhiro said.

He’s talking to me casually now? Well, it’s fine. I really don’t care.

Haruhiro was definitely Mr. Tall, or Kuzaku’s, senior, but it wasn’t like he’d had a year or two more experience than him as a volunteer soldier, and of the two of them, Haruhiro probably looked younger. Besides, he didn’t like being overly formal.

“You can drop the -kun,” said Haruhiro. “So, what’s this request?”

“It’s about the party,” said Kuzaku.

“Okay. Whose?”

“Yours, Haruhiro-kun... no, Haruhiro.”

“Mine?” Haruhiro asked.

“I mean, I’m alone now.”

“I see.”

“I’ve been thinking I need to join up with some group,” explained Kuzaku. “Gotta keep myself fed and all.”

“You’re not going to get anywhere without an income, yeah,” agreed Haruhiro.

“But, I dunno... Somehow, it feels wrong.”

“What does?” Haruhiro asked.

“Isn’t it a little tough?” the guy asked. “I just lost five comrades and was left all alone. It’s like, can I get along with people who’ve never experienced that?”

“You think they wouldn’t understand how you feel?” Haruhiro asked.

“Hmm... Yeah. Ahh. Not quite. But, it’s the same, I guess. Ah...” Kuzaku held his jaw and let his tongue hang out of his mouth. “My jaw’s exhausted. Haven’t talked this long in a while.”

Like that’s my problem, Haruhiro thought. This isn’t going to work. I can’t see myself getting along with Kuzaku. Why? Something’s bugging me. —That’s it.

Back then, Kuzaku had been fighting an orc, his back to the wall as he’d tried to protect Choco. But he hadn’t been able to protect her. Kuzaku had been taken down by the orc, and then Choco had been killed.

Haruhiro sympathized with Kuzaku’s situation. But, buddy, you failed to protect Choco, you know? And despite that, you’re still alive while Choco’s dead. What’s with that?

It wasn’t that Haruhiro thought that in any clear way. Still, there was something that rubbed him the wrong way. That was probably it. Choco was dead, but Kuzaku was alive.

Kuzaku may well have done his best. Kuzaku might have been more miserable than any of them about what happened. There might not have been anything Kuzaku could have done, but Haruhiro couldn’t deny that he felt some antipathy towards him.

“What have you been doing?” Haruhiro asked. “Since then.”

“Learning skills, that sort of thing,” said the tall man. “I had some money. My inheritance, you could say.” Kuzaku pulled on his earlobe, a slight, forced smile on his face. “Other than that, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,”

“And so, you want to join my party?” Haruhiro asked.

“Yeah. Basically.”

“Are you a warrior?” Haruhiro asked.

“No, a paladin.”

“My party’s lost Moguzo, our tank, so you’re thinking you’ll take his place?” Haruhiro asked.

“I’m not thinking that.” Kuzaku looked offended. “I don’t think I could, either. You guys are my seniors. You’re on a different level. In terms of experience, and stuff.”

“We do want a tank, though,” Haruhiro admitted. “Honestly—”

When he’d been at the thieves’ guild being put through the wringer by Barbara-sensei, that was the one thing he’d kept thinking during his rare breaks. That, really, they were going to need a tank, after all. That there might be no choice but to find a warrior or paladin to join the party.

Haruhiro shook his head and sighed. “But... This is just my thoughts on the matter, but it’s too soon. We haven’t come to terms with it yet. Besides, it’s not something I can decide on my own. I can’t give you the response you want. Sorry.”

“I see.” Kuzaku bowed his head a little. “I’m sorry, too.”

It’s not that it doesn’t pain me to do this, Haruhiro thought. But, honestly, I never want to see Kuzaku again.

Moguzo’s gone.

What a serious, serious blow that is.