THE DEVIL KING IS OUT OF THE OFFICE (1)
“I…I can’t believe it.”
“Well, I mean…”
Chiho awkwardly turned her face away, unable to bear the strain of such cold, accusatory eyes upon her. But Kaori Shoji, her classmate, kyudo archery partner, and close friend, simply leaned closer.
“Hey, can you say that again? ’Cause I sure didn’t believe it the first time.”
“Well, that is…”
“What’s up with your work shift?”
“Ahh…”
Chiho was now leaning back in her seat. Kaori gave her no quarter.
“Christmas Eve! What’s up with your work shift that day?!”
“Umm,” Chiho replied, noticing her friend’s flared nostrils. “So Maou’s working, Yusa’s working, and I’m spending it at home with my family.”
“Come onnnnnn, Sasachi!”
“Aggghhh…”
Still looming over the poor girl, Kaori now had her by the collar of her shirt, shaking her around.
“So what about the day of?” she asked, all but mounting the desk that separated them. “What about the twenty-fifth?!”
“L-let me go! I can’t breathe!”
Chiho tried to shake Kaori off. Kaori just glared back. No mercy would be offered until she had her answer—and that’s what made it so hard to give. She was gonna be so mad.
“All three of us are working that day…”
“Until when?!”
“………………………………Ten PM for me, until closing for them.”
“Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, Sasachi!”
The scream rose in a crescendo, as Chiho desperately tried to push Kaori back before she vaulted the desk entirely and fell on the floor.
“What am I supposed to do about it? I’m too young to work past ten!”
“That’s not the problem!” Kaori shouted, spraying a big wad of spittle from the corner of her mouth. “What made you ever agree to that shift in the first place?! What are you even thinking?! I mean, I can’t even explain to you how much of a shock this is! Last time was nothing compared to this!” She hung her head in her hands, groaning. “Well, fine. Fine. Go ahead! Celebrate Christmas with your family! A lot of people do that, and I am, too! But this time… This time, like, this, of all years, that’s totally the wrong thing to do!”
“You think…? But we’re gonna be short-staffed between Christmas and New Year’s…”
“Look, I don’t care if people think teens these days are all lazy and stuff; I’m never gonna take a job where I have to work around New Year’s! It’s stupid MgRonald’s fault for bothering to be open!”
Chiho, no doubt spoiled a bit by the serene comfort of Japan’s modern culture of convenience, felt like arguing against this. She fought back the impulse.
“Look, Sasachi, listen to me for a moment.”
“Um, yes?”
“You told me a while back that you wanted Maou to give you an answer, right?”
“Huh? Ah, um, yeah.”
Having this topic broached out of nowhere made Chiho scope out her classroom surroundings. Kaori’s acrobatics were over now, so everyone around them had stopped paying attention. But given how her classmates were just the right age to latch on to topics like this, Chiho didn’t want anyone eavesdropping on them. Kaori knew that full well, of course, but apparently she just had to ask right now.
“Come on, Sasachi. We’re teenage girls, right? Teenage girls. It’s right about the time we want a little more drama in our lives, like grown-ups have.”
“I—I guess…”
In terms of drama, Chiho was confident that, in the past year, she had had more of that and change than most Hollywood celebrities, hands down. She was fine with her current portion, thank you very much, but she gave a meek nod anyway.
“So what’s with this act of yours, huh? The one day you get a better shot at that drama than any other day of the year, and you’re going to leave your main rival alone with the guy you love so you can entertain at home with your parents? You really think you’re in that good of a position here?”
“Yusa’s not my ‘main rival’ or anything…”
“Oh, hush! Anyone but you can see she totally is!” She pointed an accusatory finger like a lecturing sister-in-law. “I’m assuming you haven’t drummed up the guts to ask for a reply yet. Wouldn’t you normally try to settle things with him on Christmas Eve, then? The one day you got for it?”
Chiho could tell what Kaori meant. The thought hadn’t completely escaped her mind. But…
“But I mean, December’s schedule was already set up since last month, when we talked about it, so…”
“Nooooo, this won’t work! It won’t, it won’t! It won’t work at all! You got no chance whatsoever, Sasachi. You could wait five hundred years and not get an answer! Just give up! Give up.”
“But—but that’s…”
Kaori’s head was back in her hands.
Chiho hadn’t been totally oblivious. As the sights and sounds of town began to take on a holiday theme, she had dreamed about going on a nice Christmas date with Maou somewhere. She had dreamed about it, but this was the Lord of All Demons, and as far as she knew, this would be his second Christmas in Japan. She didn’t know how the last one went for him, but chances were he was working—and this year, yes, he had picked up a full MgRonald shift on the twenty-fourth and the twenty-fifth.
She had actually realized she might be missing the chance of a lifetime back at the end of November. The shifts were long set in stone; asking Maou or Ms. Kisaki for a shift change around the holiday was unthinkable.
Things had been pretty chaotic between September and November for both Chiho and everyone involved with Ente Isla, with Emi and Ashiya being captured, Maou sallying forth to rescue them, Urushihara having a stint in the hospital, and Emi’s mother appearing out of nowhere. It had been particularly rough for Emi, being reunited with a mom whom she hardly remembered but who had laid such a heavy burden upon both her and the entire world.
Both Laila—archangel and Emi’s mother—and Sadao Maou, the Demon Lord who Chiho loved, had clearly taken great pains to lighten Emi’s heart during all this, despite the fact that Laila and Maou could hardly be said to get along. It was a gesture Chiho, who cared about both sides of that equation deeply, should have been glad for—but, as she now realized, seeing Maou treat Emi with kindness made her terribly jealous.
For better or for worse, his attitude toward Chiho hadn’t changed since summer, when she first confessed her love. If he and Emi were to accept the “big job” Laila brought to their attention, they would go very, very far away from Chiho. She had no idea how to grasp the relationship between herself and this guy from another world—so she had asked her friend Kaori Shoji for advice, leaving out the extraneous Ente Isla–related details.
That had happened at the end of November, and even by then, there was no way she could do anything as bold as ask for a Christmas date. But something else now disturbed her just as much: Rika Suzuki, friend to Emi and another acquaintance who knew the truth behind their little social circle, had confessed her own interests to Shirou Ashiya, the Great Demon General Alciel. She had opened her heart to him—but it hadn’t been enough.
To Chiho, Rika seemed like a superstar: falling in love with an Ente Islan, not letting that truth faze her, and actually saying her feelings instead of running away from them. She was just that—a great, shining star—and it scared Chiho. The mere thought of Maou turning her down after all this made her legs shake. She could imagine a million reasons why Maou might say no, but—for now at least—not a single reason for him to say yes.
Rika hadn’t given up after Ashiya’s refusal. She had cried about it, but she never gave up. However, imagining herself in that same situation, Chiho didn’t know how she’d ever manage to recover if Maou refused her. Maybe throughout the last few weeks, she had been unconsciously trying to avoid thinking about Christmas at all.
Whatever Maou’s choice was, it would have to be directly linked with his other future decisions. That future involved far more than her—it could mean that Chiho lost not just Maou but Emi, Ashiya, Urushihara, Suzuno, and all her other Ente Islan friends. That puppylike drive to not be away from the one she loved for a single moment froze her, preventing any action.
But at the same time, Chiho had another voice running through her mind: If there is something to say, just say it fast or else lots of regrets.
These were the words of Acieth Alla, a girl separated from her own companions for eons longer than a seventeen-year-old girl could ever imagine—but Chiho still understood the portent behind them.
She knew Kaori, and she knew Acieth, too. And that was what made Chiho’s own heart freeze in place, descended upon by thick clouds and preventing any movement.
Such were Chiho’s mid-December days.
“Don’t just say ‘but—but’! I can’t believe you let Christmas just slip through your fingers like that!”
Kaori couldn’t be blamed for seeing all this as Chiho just screwing up a chance at having a hot guy in her life. But to Chiho, the things she was letting “slip through” made something as inconsequential as a romantic Christmas impossible to think about.
“Can you do anything else at this point?” Kaori asked. “We’ve got a little time until Christmas. Could you find someone to cover your shifts?”
“Ooh, I dunno…”
It was the obvious question to pose, in a way, and Chiho had thought about it. But while she could maybe jump off a shift she was assigned to, getting someone else to take one for her sake was another matter. And there was no way Chiho could ask Maou, of all people, to take off Christmas Eve so they could take care of some business.
“Oh, wait! Maybe I could tell my mom that we’re short-staffed and go in on the twenty-fourth, too…”
“Sasachi, why is that what you’re coming up with at this point?”
“Huh? What’s wrong with it?”
“What’s wrong? Everything! You go to work that day, and it’ll be just another shift, from start to finish! Plus, you’ll still have to go home before he does, right? Are you even serious about this, Sasachi?”
“S-serious?”
“You’re the one who was all like, Ooh, I don’t wanna drift away from them! Well, guess what? You’re already, like, half faded out from the picture!”
“Well, yeah, I guess I know that, but…”
If Maou and friends accepted Laila’s plea to save the people of Ente Isla, it’d be just like when Maou set off to rescue Emi before. Chiho, in other words, wouldn’t be along for the ride—or couldn’t be, really. The reason was simple: If things erupted into war, she’d be a drag on Maou and Emi, like she always was. They were fighting against a total unknown, in a number of ways. Bringing the totally defenseless Chiho into that war zone would force Maou’s side to devote too many resources to protecting her. It wouldn’t be like before, when she used the Yesod to take advantage of Laila’s force for a while. Laila had made herself known to them all, and now that she had, there was no good reason for Chiho to fight alongside Maou.
But somewhere in her heart, Chiho couldn’t deny that Kaori was right. She did have a little time, and she had ample reason to believe Maou wouldn’t return to Ente Isla that easily. That was because, on a wholly different dimension from what Laila had offered him, he had another huge job offer potentially in the works.
“…But if the shifts are all set up, no changing them now, huh? Well, are you at least thinking about stuff you could do for the thirty-first or New Year’s?”
“Oh, I think my mom or dad were saying something about going back to my grandparents’ place, so…um…Kao?”
Chiho was so occupied thinking about Maou’s current situation that she hardly noticed how Kaori was staring at her like a cobra ready to strike. Demons struck her with less terror than what she now felt.
“Sasachi…”
“Y-yes?”
“I’m seriously angry now.”
She had been seriously angry enough before, but Chiho was too cowed to offer any complaint about the torrent of sass and lecturing that followed.
It was already dark by the time archery practice was over.
Chiho wasn’t working today, so she was on her way home when she received a text from her mother, directing her into the crowds at the 100 Trees Shopping Arcade. The whole outdoor mall was set up in holiday colors, although some of the shops had already taken down the red bows and replaced them with New Year’s décor—the specialty food, fish, and noodle shops in particular.
“Oh, Chiho Sasaki?”
She was reading over the impromptu shopping list her mother had texted her when she heard a wholly unexpected voice in the crowd. It almost made her drop her phone. “Huh… Whaaa?!”
She turned around and received another shock. It wasn’t just her ears playing tricks on her.
“U-Urushihara?! Since when did you get out?”
He winced at this appraisal, not that he had much to defend himself with. “Dude, don’t make it sound like I’m a violent felon just outta prison.”
“Yeah, but I mean, I couldn’t even imagine you released to the general public on your own recognizance like this…”
“Look, do you guys think I’m some kinda wild animal or zombie or something? Maybe you didn’t notice, but I’ve been going out alone a lot lately, and I even picked up a job or two back at the apartment.”
“Wow, really? Um, I’m sorry…” Chiho bowed. Maybe “released” was going a little too far.
Thinking about it, though, this was the first time she had seen the former angel outside without Maou or Ashiya accompanying him since back in the spring, right when she had learned the truth about all of them. It wasn’t pure laziness, she recalled, that kept him from leaving the apartment.
“But, um, are you sure you’re okay going around alone?”
“Meaning, like, should I be worried about the cops arresting me for what I did before you met us?” he asked.
“Huh? Oh, yeah…I guess…” Chiho raised an eyebrow. His tone sounded odd to her. He clicked his tongue.
“Yeah, like, Bell said that basically if I go out alone, I’d be screwed and maybe I wouldn’t even make it back to the apartment in one piece, so…”
“Yes…”
“Hey, don’t just agree with that.”
“S-sorry…”
It was easy for her to imagine Suzuno saying something like that if she knew Urushihara was out wandering the town alone.
“Yeah, so anyway, if you’re asking whether it’s okay or not, then it’s still not really that okay, I don’t think.”
“Oh?”
Chiho froze at the breezy confession. A big reason why Urushihara was largely housebound was that, in the period between traveling to Japan and settling down in Villa Rosa Sasazuka, he had essentially gone on a spree of serial robberies. Chiho didn’t know everything he had done, but judging by how Maou and Ashiya reacted, chances were good he had committed at least one crime near a surveillance camera. There was a nonzero chance he was still on the police’s radar.
“But in terms of what you’re probably worried about, I bet I’m fine.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. Like, thanks to Maou, we got enough demonic force that I have pretty much free rein to use it. A buncha cops don’t scare me.” He grinned.
“Whoa, don’t say that!”
There was something devilish about Urushihara’s smile that made Chiho, daughter of a police officer, panic.
“Hee-hee-hee! I’m not planning to rub out Japan’s police force or anything, dude. But if things get real hairy, I’m just sayin’, I got that on my side and a lot of other things going besides that. I feel really good right now, y’know? Gettin’ to tackle all this new stuff.”
“A lot of other things”? “All this new stuff”? Chiho was too scared to ask for specifics, but given the demons’ activities over the past few months, she could make a few assumptions. And although Urushihara didn’t mean to, his remarks gave Chiho a hint about something that had been on her mind for a while now.
“So that means you have demonic force again, too, Urushihara?”
“What d’you mean ‘too’?” he asked, the grin still on his face.
Chiho responded with a confident smirk of her own, as she revealed a couple of facts she knew.
“Well, Ashiya is walking around with his own, yeah? Enough to go back into demon form whenever he wants.”
“Oh, you knew that? Like, what happened the day he bought the phone?”
“…More or less, yeah.” Chiho was more than a bit interested in Urushihara’s take on that day’s events.
“But… Huh,” he muttered. “How d’you know about that, though? ’Cause Bell sure doesn’t seem to know.”
“That’s because I didn’t say anything about it.”
“Oh? ’Cause, I mean, dude, I know you. If you knew we were keeping demonic force hidden from Emilia and stuff, I figured you’d be so freaked out you’d run over to her for advice.”
Chiho grimaced. “You don’t have to act like I’m a double agent or something. I know full well Ashiya isn’t the type of person who’d go around like that for no reason.”
There were other reasons why she had never told Emi and Suzuno, but being treated like a tattletale irked her a little.
“Huh. So maybe Emilia doesn’t know, either? Hmm.”
Urushihara nodded, not letting on whether this meant something to him or if he was just stringing the conversation along. He raised a hand into the air. Chiho had been too amazed by Urushihara’s mere presence to notice, but it was holding a plastic shopping bag filled with snacks, dinner items, and more.
“I mean, I figured Emilia woulda known once Ashiya decided to transform in front of Rika Suzuki, but… Ah, it doesn’t really matter if she knows anyway. Like you said, we ain’t doing this for no reason, and it also connects to this shopping run I’m on.”
“…What do you mean?”
“Mmm…”
Urushihara carefully looked around at his surroundings. Finding a nearby café, he pointed it out to Chiho.
“I’ll tell you if you buy me something hot to drink. I’m cold.”
“…”
Chiho raised her eyebrows up in a really? look before grudgingly nodding. In the end, it turned out this really was the same shameless Urushihara as always.
“It’s really nothing big,” the fallen angel began, sipping from the most expensive seasonal coffee special on the menu. “It’s just that Maou, Ashiya, and I don’t fully trust Laila yet.”
“Don’t fully trust her?” Chiho asked as she dumped a generous portion of milk into a cup of the cheapest house blend on offer. “What’s that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like, my dudette. She’s been on the run from heaven for ages now, right? But she’s leaving herself super wide-open in all this. She’s making both Maou and Emilia worry about her.”
“Yeah, she is.” Chiho immediately nodded. Even she could tell that Laila was doing herself no favors.
“Just because Gabriel and our landlord said that heaven closed off all Gate access to and from itself doesn’t mean we know that for sure. It being closed doesn’t guarantee our enemy’s stuck there. Maybe it’s more of a one-way thing, where they can keep sending people on down from above. We’re not willing to believe that Laila’s keeping everything perfectly balanced for herself here. You remember how me and Ashiya didn’t join you guys when you went to Laila’s place?”
“Oh, right, you didn’t.”
Laila had opened up her apartment in the Nerima district to them, in an attempt to gain their trust. Ashiya and Urushihara declined to tag along, and given that Rika’s utter failure at a love confession took place just the day before, Chiho had been reluctant to ask why at the time.
“Yeah. And I mean, personally, I really don’t care about Laila’s place. But that was all Maou’s idea.”
“Maou’s idea?”
“Yeah, like, you stay behind in case something happens. Like, if worse comes to worst and the enemy takes advantage of a distracted Maou and Emilia to attack MgRonald or Rika Suzuki, or hell, even your house or whatever, we could instantly respond to it that way.”
“…Oh.”
“Plus, all that woe-is-me crap from Laila might’ve just been her trying to pull on Maou’s and Emilia’s heartstrings. So it might be more than just Raguel and Camael we have to deal with.”
“Huh?”
Chiho had trouble understanding Urushihara’s point. He responded with a disdainful snort.
“Like, my dudette, why are we assuming Laila’s one of the good guys just because she’s Emilia’s mom? None of that seems weird to you? I mean, not that I’m one to talk, but are any of the angels you know good guys so far, Chiho Sasaki?”
“No.”
Sadly, she could instantly reply to that.
“Right, see? And I’m totally not one to talk, but I kinda got a perspective on angelic assholery that Maou and Ashiya don’t have. What if all that airheaded screwing around on her part’s just an act? What if she tries to use your family or the MgRonald manager or Rika Suzuki or someone else important to Maou or Emilia as hostages, so those two’ll do what she wants them to? ’Cause the chance of that is a lot higher than none, y’know?”
This sounded like the kind of four-dimensional subterfuge Laila didn’t exactly seem capable of engineering, but Urushihara’s point made sense.
“Well, what do you think, Urushihara? About her?”
“What do I think?” he quickly countered, not giving away the slightest hint of his impression. It forced Chiho to be more specific.
“I mean, Laila and Gabriel… They want Maou and everyone to, uh, kill her, right, umm…”
“Oh, right, you heard about my parents, huh?”
“…………Heard about them, yeah.”
His addressing it straight like that threw her a little.
“So you gonna treat me with a little more respect now?”
“Uh, what?”
Chiho was floored at this sudden change of subject. How did that connect to anything?
“I mean, look at this crazy pedigree I got! My mom’s literally a god. Head of the second generation of angels. If she was human, she’d be so high up, you’d be afraid to even look at her.”
It was hard to tell how serious he was being. Chiho felt the need to address him honestly anyway. “Can you stop being ridiculous and answer my question?”
“Dude, you’re even pickier about that stuff than Emilia is, huh? Well, all right. I give up. I mean, really, you guys can do whatever you want. If Maou believes Laila’s really being sincere about this and says yes, then I’m not gonna try and stop them.”
“Are you sure?! Because, I mean…”
“Yeah, I know, I know. They’re trying to kill my mother in heaven, right? Laila, and Gabriel, and somebody else for all we know.” Urushihara’s voice was just as flat and monotone as his facial expression. “Or what, you think I’m suddenly gonna start loving my mom and tearfully plead for her life? Or like, suddenly change myself entirely at this point to bring her on to our side?”
“No, I’m not thinking the second thing at all, but it’s odd to hear you be so disinterested in her.”
“Man, you guys think you can just say whatever you want about me, huh? Well, come over to the apartment sometime, dudette. I think you’re gonna be surprised.” Urushihara winced again. “Ughh… I mean, I’m not lying or whatever when I say this, but I really don’t remember my parents much at all. I know as a fact that Ignora, ruler of the heavens, is my mother, and I kind of have these vague memories of her, but if you’re asking me whether she has any impact on my life as it stands, the answer’s a big fat no.”
“Oh…”
It was hard to believe for someone with as healthy a family life as Chiho’s. But Urushihara didn’t seem to be acting.
“I mean, I don’t live in this dimension where we have feelings for each other for no reason, just because she’s my mom and I’m her son or whatever. In the demon realms, if your dad or your brother gets in your way, you kill him. It’s that simple. If Laila’s telling the honest truth right now, then all I can say is, Hey, thanks for taking responsibility for all the crap my mom did.”
Ignora, who had taken on the role of God among the angels in heaven, was Urushihara’s mother. Gabriel was the first to reveal that to Chiho and the other visitors at Laila’s Nerima apartment on that day. He also reminded them of the assorted nefarious deeds she did to the Sephirah children, as well as what she was doing to Ente Isla right now—but to Chiho the noncombatant, the first thought on her mind was how Urushihara was taking all this. Seeing him respond so nonchalantly to it all was, in its own way, even worse than if he took more drastic action.
“But if you want me to comment on all this as her son or whatever…hmm…”
Chiho perked up, hoping for something more substantial from him.
“…I guess I kinda resent her tossing me into the demon realms by myself? That, and not bothering to search for me afterward. But it’s been fun with the demons, so… Like, I think it was a much better life then I woulda had up in heaven, where most people ain’t much better than living zombies. It’s not like I hate her so much I wanna act on it or whatever. I mean, it was a zillion years ago, so I seriously don’t remember most of it.”
“You don’t even remember her at all?”
“Well, c’mon, do you remember every conversation you had with your friends or your mom in kindergarten or first grade or whatever?”
“No, but…”
“’Cause maybe I don’t look it, but I’ve lived at least a few times longer than Maou has. And really, living in the demon realms has kinda kept me busy for most of that time. It’s been superfun. So no, I’m not gonna remember my ancient history too much. To me, maybe Ignora’s my mother by blood, but to put it in a way you’d get, it’d be like finding out your archnemesis is, like, your great-great-great-great-great-grandmother from three hundred years ago. It’s all so way, way in the past, and we really oughta be thinking about now instead.”
That wasn’t something she really wanted to hear from Urushihara, whose life now mainly consisted of holing up in the closet and leeching off Maou’s hard work, but it was clear that Urushihara had no sentimentality for Ignora.
“The past is the past, dude. Sometimes people get motivated by it, and sometimes they don’t. In this case, I’m the leader of the side that doesn’t, and Laila’s the leader of the side that does.”
“That kind of thing, huh?”
“Yeah. I dunno how much Laila and Gabriel told you, but judging by that look on your face, I guess a lot, right? The Cataclysm of the Devil Overlord and everything Ignora did and all that.”
“Um… Pretty much.”
It wasn’t the kind of conversation one normally had over French fries at the MozzBurger in front of the rail station, but she did hear a lot.
“So yeah, it’s really none of my business, and that means it’s even less the business of someone like Ashiya or Maou, who wasn’t even born yet. Maybe it’s different for Emilia—I dunno if she’s immortal now or not, but whatever. But honestly, I don’t really see Maou saying yes to Laila. I mean, that’s the whole reason why me and Ashiya are going around with demonic force in our pockets. Y’know, just in case Laila does something stupid in an attempt to drive Maou into action.”
“Really…?”
Chiho understood what Urushihara meant, but it was difficult for her to swallow. Why, though, she couldn’t say.
“Plus,” he added, picking up on this, “wouldn’t that be better for you?”
“Huh?”
“You don’t want him and Emilia to say yes, do you?”
“W-well, I………………………………… No. You’re right, I don’t.”
Several images projected themselves upon her brain during that pause. If she could believe everything Laila said, her desire to keep Maou and Emi on Earth was essentially the same thing as telling Ente Isla and everyone who lived on it to take a hike. The “good” Chiho inside her kept shouting about how she wouldn’t allow that, but there was no point lying about her current feelings to Urushihara. Not being truthful right now, when he was being oddly frank with her for a change, would keep her from getting the answers she sought.
“I mean, all I really want is to keep Maou and everyone from leaving. Why would they even be willing to just abandon their lives and get involved with all that? That’s kind of how I think about it.”
“Yeah. I’m not exactly a fan, either. Like, why do we have to throw away this totally chill and stable environment just so we can go risk our lives somewhere far away?”
Chiho noted that Urushihara’s stable lifestyle was being supported by the difficult sacrifices of many, many people around him. But now, of all moments, wasn’t the time to sass back at him.
“I know that it’s super-selfish of me,” she said. “If that’s what Maou and Yusa decide to do, I have no right to make them give that up. But Laila and Gabriel are just being way too arbitrary here.”
“I totally agree. They’re the ones who made this mess. They oughta clean it up.”
Again, Urushihara was one to talk, but he was right. They couldn’t clean up their own mess, so instead they were going on about the end of the world in an attempt to get Maou and Emi to do it. Chiho couldn’t accept that. Hearing Gabriel talk about “the boss of us parasites” at MozzBurger the other day cleared the air on a lot of previously opaque mysteries, but that was all still just history. It didn’t change what he and Laila wanted the demons to do for them.
Chiho hadn’t seen Laila or Gabriel since that day, but looking at how Emi closed the gap between herself and Laila a little, it seemed like they were a step or two past the stalemate from before. Maou still hadn’t made his intentions clear, though, and for Chiho, this December remained a month fraught with unease.
“Plus, you probably know more about this than I do, but Maou’s gonna be pretty busy soon, yeah?”
“Oh, yeah, you’re right.”
Just as she recalled during Kaori’s conversation, Chiho had a strong hunch about something that would keep Maou from accepting Laila’s terms. Something that, if you knew Maou as intimately as she did, would be the first thing to cross your mind.
“And if he’s busy, that’s gonna affect Emilia substantially, and I haven’t heard anything about Laila and her reconciling yet… By the standards of your life span, hey, no big rush, right?”
Hearing that said by Urushihara, who had lived several times as long as the centuries-old Maou, Chiho was oddly convinced. Certainly, if the Devil King made the choice Chiho and Urushihara assumed he would, it seemed like things on Earth could go along as usual for at least another two or three years. By that time, Chiho would be in college, enjoying far more freedom of choice and a better idea of where her emotions lay in all this.
“Like, this thing’s exactly what Maou’s been gunning for this whole time, right? I seriously doubt he’s gonna throw it all in the garbage so he can skip out on this whole planet.”
“I…I don’t think so, either. And Yusa probably thinks the same thing.”
Chiho took a notebook out of her bag and examined the MgRonald shift schedule written inside. Maou’s shifts for today and the next several days had been crossed out and rewritten in a few spots.
“Yeah, he’s been working at this for so long,” she lovingly observed as her finger traced over what she wrote in the old shifts’ place. The handwritten note read:
“Maou full-time training!!”
Just as Chiho and Urushihara were chatting, Emi Yusa, rapidly approaching the seven PM end of her shift, raised a curious eyebrow at the figure walking through the automatic doors, likely the final customer of her workday.
“Hello! Come up to the counter when you’re ready.”
The customer needed no instruction, recognizing Emi the moment he went inside. He headed straight up to her.
“One Teriyaki Burger meal with large fries and a large hot coffee.”
“All right.”
She punched the order into the register, stated the price, accepted the customer’s thousand-yen bill, and provided the change. A few more moments and his order was arranged on a tray and in his hands. Without another word, he took a seat, not even stealing a glance at her.
“That’s uncommon.”
Here was Shirou Ashiya, going to MgRonald during the dinner hour and eating a full meal. For him, this was highly unusual—eating out alone and upsizing his meal to boot. Plus, he was sitting on a barstool fiddling with his smartphone the entire time. It was so unlike the Ashiya she knew, she began to wonder if this was a nefarious angel posing as him.
“Saemi, aren’t you going off?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah.”
It was Akiko Ohki, one of the veteran part-timers, calling at her from behind. Emi looked up at the clock that was just a bit past seven now, removed her visor, and gave a sidelong glance at Ashiya as he continued pecking away at his phone.
“Hey, once I clock out, can I order dinner from you guys?”
“Oh, you want me to put it in as a crewmember meal now?”
“Sure thing. Umm, I’ll get a Bacon Pepper Burger Set with a side salad and orange juice.”
“Got it. Go ahead and get changed, and I’ll have it waiting for ya.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Emi gave a light bow to Akiko and then went back to the staff break room. As she changed, she thought about Ashiya’s potential motivations.
“He ought to know that the Devil King and Chiho aren’t working today…but I guess he didn’t have any business with me?”
Their eyes definitely met just now…but maybe it’s because Emi just happened to be the only cashier on duty at the time. Either way, Ashiya couldn’t have just come to MgRonald for dinner on a whim. He had a reason, and Emi didn’t know what it could be.
Once back on the dining floor, Emi found Akiko waving at her. Paying for the crewmember meal—a 30 percent discount, essentially—she picked up the tray, pretended to search for a seat for a few moments, and then sat directly in front of Ashiya. The barstool seating at MgRonald featured a partition that ran across the long table, making sure that customers facing one another didn’t have to deal with awkward stares, but he still had to know Emi was right there. But Ashiya, faintly visible through a gap between two partition panels, kept staring at his phone, slowly working through his fries. Emi, for her part, popped open the plastic case on her salad and began spearing the red leaf lettuce with her fork.
“What do you want?”
Ashiya spoke first. The restaurant was relatively empty, and it was only Emi and Ashiya at the bar seating, so they could hear each other well enough.
“What do you want?” she countered. She couldn’t see Ashiya’s expression through the panel, but then he couldn’t see her. “Why are you at the Mag this time of night? Don’t you have dinner to cook?”
“We are all eating separately tonight.”
“Huh. Don’t see that every day.”
In fact, it was beyond shocking.
For Maou, at least, Emi could imagine him eating dinner out today easily enough. The schedule provided last month had him on shift right now, but following subsequent plans, he was away from the store today, along with manager Mayumi Kisaki. Takefumi Kawata and Akiko Ohki, the next most senior crewmembers after Maou, were both handling manager duties in his place—but there was no way Ashiya wouldn’t be aware of his roommate’s whereabouts.
“You’re letting Lucifer do whatever?”
“I do not see how that involves you.”
He had a point, but as someone who understood the financial situation at Devil’s Castle, Emi was honestly worried. Plus, it simply wasn’t like Ashiya to leave Urushihara unleashed like this.
“If someone I know starts acting totally uncharacteristic like this, I’m going to be worried about that, all right?”
“Oh-ho! So you think you have an iron grasp on everything involved in our lives?”
“Not everything but probably ninety percent, yeah. Enough that I know how weird this is for you.”
“Do not interfere with customer privacy. You are on staff, are you not?”
“You know, whenever you try turning society’s rules against me like that, for better or for worse, it’s usually because you’re doing something you don’t want me or Bell to know about.”
“…” Ashiya fell silent, seeming a little peeved behind the partition.
“Well, whatever.” Emi stopped pushing him. “I dunno what’s up with you, but yes, that was rude to you as a customer. I’m sorry.”
“Mm…”
“Take your time. I’m leaving once I finish dinner.”
“…”
The sounds of Emi finishing her meal continued but not for long. In a few minutes, she stood up and began to take her tray to the garbage.
“Yusa.”
Ashiya’s sudden voice stopped her.
“Have you seen Ms. Suzuki recently?”
“—!”
Emi gasped and turned around. Ashiya was still sitting on his barstool, back turned to her.
“…I haven’t seen her in about two weeks. She did…text, but…”
“Ah. Good, then.”
“What about her?”
Was there something too sharp in her voice? Emi regretted the question almost immediately. It totally revealed that she knew all about what was going on between them. Rika had asked her for advice the day before she had approached him; that smartphone of his was Rika’s personal recommendation even—and Emi knew how it all turned out in the end.
What Emi didn’t know was the whole process in between. All she knew was that she hadn’t seen her in two weeks, and the text Riku had sent simply read, “It didn’t work out. Thanks anyway for your help.” Their lack of communication since was starting to create a cloud of anxiety for her—and now Ashiya was treating her question with silence. Should she take it to mean he was done with her?
All kinds of emotions were starting to form a voice in her mind. What happened to Rika? What did he do to her or say to her? If Emi could, she wanted to drag him out of the restaurant and make him lay out all of yesterday’s events to her right this minute. But after a few short moments, Emi bottled it all up, turned her eyes away, and left.
“Oh, right, you’re off now, Yusa?” Kawata asked at the exit, fresh from a delivery run. “Take care on the way home.”
“Yeah. You, too.”
She gave him a quick nod, not bothering to look back toward the demon at the counter.
Leaving the restaurant’s heat, she was greeted by a cheek-tingling cold, the sun a lost memory today. It drove her forward, down the Koshu-Kaido road alone, so she could stop by Suzuno’s place and pick up Alas Ramus.
The frigid air cooled her head enough to make her think that leaving without demanding a response from Ashiya was the right thing after all. She knew Rika had a thing for Ashiya—really, Ashiya was the only one who didn’t know. Having Rika say “It didn’t work out” must have meant just one thing.
Emi didn’t feel it presumptuous to assume that, if Ashiya had pulled a Maou and asked for time (or even said yes to her), Rika would be right at her door again seeking advice. Besides, by the time Rika approached her, she had already drummed up enough drive to maybe confess her love to him and was just de facto asking Emi for permission. But Ashiya simply refused it all—and now that he had, there was nothing Emi could do or even should do.
“What…did I even want for her?”
She didn’t want to see Rika hurt. But she doubted Ashiya could have ever made her happy or had any real desire to.
“Haaah…”
The white breath she sighed out, from a heart unable to come to terms with itself, seemed to draw an image of Chiho in her mind.
“This is so selfish of me…”
Was Emi fine with Chiho and Maou being an item but not Rika and Ashiya? She began to suspect that she knew all along Rika had no chance, and it sickened her. Maou was being ridiculously indecisive, and as Laila, Suzuno, and Ashiya all pointed out yesterday, he didn’t have it in him to act totally heartless toward the girl who admired him. Meanwhile, Ashiya had shed a fair bit of his callousness toward the human race in general, but during his whole time on Earth, he had always stuck to his guns. He was a demon, and someday he would return to Ente Isla and help conquer it again.
If he had turned Rika down a little while ago, maybe Emi, despite their friendship, would’ve seen it as merely one less obstacle to taking that demon down. But now she had seen him, and Maou, and Urushihara as individual people. She was different now. The remaining traces of her old Hero’s soul was asking what she was hung up about, but right now Emi Yusa knew this person named Ashiya had hurt Rika’s feelings, and it enraged her.
“It’s so selfish…”
It was. It was extremely selfish. This rage of hers wasn’t appropriate, for someone who had gone on for so long about killing them and hoping they’d die soon. But the truth was two of her most valuable friends were in love with people from different worlds, different species.
Wincing at the disorganized noise that prevailed in her heart, Emi came across someone familiar at the intersection up ahead. “…In this cold?” she couldn’t help but blurt out—a voice mixed with annoyance, resignation, and a slight tinge of happiness that not even she picked up on. Not joy exactly—nothing that lofty. Just pure, childlike happiness.
“Oh, um, hello, Emilia. Back from work?”
It was Laila. How long had she been standing here, shopping bag hanging from her wrist? Ever since that apartment visit, they had crossed paths here a few times, Laila choosing this spot on the way home to ambush her. Her motives were obvious. The gap was ever so slightly narrower between them now, and she wanted to close it further. But the clumsiness of the move, coupled with the outright hatred Emi felt for her not long ago, made the situation seem almost comedic.
She didn’t take this path home every day. Sometimes she had a quick bite elsewhere with the crewmates she had become decent friends with. Sometimes she stopped by the store to shop for Alas Ramus or Suzuno or Nord, her father. If Laila wanted to see Emi, she could always just wait at Room 101 in Villa Rosa Sasazuka. She knew that.
“How many hours have you been standing here?”
“Huh? Oh, um, no, I was going to your father’s place today, and I was just done shopping along the way, so…”
“Your nose. It’s bright red. And that bag’s from the supermarket across from Sasazuka Station.”
“Oh…!” Laila instinctively brought a hand to her nose.
“You know you can just stay at Father’s place if you’re cold.”
“N-no, but then I wouldn’t be able to talk alone with you…”
Laila’s motives made sense. She was a long-lost mother, struggling to find the right distance to take in this relationship. But the logic she chose made her sound like a stalker.
“…I’ll take that.”
“Huh? Ah!”
With a small sigh, Emi took Laila’s shopping bag.
“That—that’s pretty heavy, Emilia…”
“With as many shopping trips as I’ve done with Bell and Alciel, this is nothing.”
Without waiting for a reply, Emi began walking home. Laila froze for a second but snapped out of it and began to give chase, walking side by side a slight distance away. Emi, sensing that Laila was trying to find something to say and failing, finally spoke up.
“So what? You didn’t get your apartment all messy again, did you?”
“Huh?! N-no, no, it’s totally clean! Um, still!”
“Oh, come on.”
Emi smiled a little, then went back to her usual scowl. She couldn’t give Laila an honest smile yet.
Previously, when she visited Laila’s apartment to find out what kind of life she was living in Japan, she found the place so astoundingly cluttered and unkempt that a robot vacuum would take one look and trundle right out the door and off the walkway to its death. Emi had dived in first to start cleaning it up, and really just the cleanup took the entire day. The only talking the whole time was done by Laila and Nord. Emi and Laila, with no idea what to talk about, said almost nothing apart from when they bickered over what pile of strewn clutter should go where. Even this, however, was clear progress from how things were before—and now the gap was narrow enough that they were actually walking down the street together.
“Is work keeping you busy?”
“Well, every company’s short-staffed during the holiday season. But unlike you, I’m not working against the clock to save millions or anything, so it’s all good.”
“Um… Oh. Well, good.”
Emi didn’t know what was “good” about that—it wasn’t like she had said she wasn’t busy—but this, at least, was an actual conversation. It continued along in fits and starts as they walked. When they reached Sasazuka Station, Emi suddenly stopped, looking at the intersection ahead and the Shuto Expressway overpass that hung above it.
“Emilia?”
She could recall Urushihara attacking this overpass, Chiho almost getting crushed under it, Maou and Ashiya transforming into demons, her fighting against her supposed friend Olba, and then Chiho’s face at the end, still smiling despite knowing everything that had just happened.
“No, um, just a…”
I wasn’t expecting any of this.
How many times in the past year-ish had she had that thought? If only she or Maou had just got on with it and erased Chiho’s memory, neither of them would be standing here right now. But after defeating Urushihara, Maou had showed no sign of doing it. So Emi, recalling this as she stood there with Laila, decided to bet on a possibility that nobody who knew the Devil King Satan would dare imagine. It wasn’t a bet she had ever discussed with Emeralda or Albert. Really, it was just something she had half-jokingly suggested to Maou before even making friends with Chiho. She didn’t expect him to say yes, and he didn’t, of course, but now Maou had everything he needed to make it happen. That’s just how it seemed to her.
If Ashiya said no, what about Maou?
“Hey, Laila?”
“Yeees?”
“Why did you get married to Father?”
“Huhh?!” Laila practically jumped off the ground. “Wh-why? Where did that come from?! I just… I mean, if you love someone, you marry them, don’t you?”
“…”
Something Emi had thought back when she asked her father how they came to know each other was that the way a husband or wife describes their partner had a far deeper, more profound impact on their children than either could ever imagine. Now that feeling was coming back.
Sariel had succeeded mainly in making himself angry, but given his status as a full-time SFC manager, his words held some weight. Still, as the Devil King’s right-hand man, Ashiya couldn’t take this sitting down.
“A word of advice. No matter how you slice it, His Demonic Highness and Ms. Kisaki are not engaged in the kind of liaison you are imagining.”
“And how would you know?!” the archangel countered, shooting the Great Demon General down. “We’re talking about a man and a woman! You can never predict what kind of infinitesimally small seed could sprout the seedlings of love! The Devil King is Ms. Kisaki’s most trusted of employees, someone trustworthy enough to reveal her own career dreams to! Someone she has worked with on the front lines over thick and thin! Nothing could possibly make me more anxious!”
“You—you truly believe so?” Ashiya was a little surprised. Sariel seemed to be worried for far more realistic reasons than he had surmised. Based on what everyone from Maou himself to Chiho, Emi, and Suzuno had let on about, he figured the archangel would have some different, more insane concern.
“I had wanted to ask you, actually…”
“What?!” Sariel snapped back.
“What kind of relationship do you even want to build with Ms. Kisaki?”
“Hmm.” Something changed in Sariel’s eyes. “A thorny question.”
“Oh?”
“Considering both of our lives, it would likely be best for both of us if I took on the Kisaki name, rather than the other way around.”
“…Oh?”
“Plus, I may be a fool in love, but I am not optimistic enough to believe Ms. Kisaki sees me as marriage material right now. Currently, the issue is not whether she would be my wife but rather whether she’s interested in me being her husband.”
“………Um. One moment.”
“What?”
“You are working on insane assumptions.”
“What’s so insane about that? I wouldn’t act like that around her if I didn’t have marriage in my sights.”
“You have marriage in your sights, and yet you act like this?!”
“I know of no other way.”
Ashiya could no longer hide his dumbfounded shock. “Er… No, um, that is to say, your approach is not the issue, perhaps. More to the point, you see a human being as a potential marriage partner?”
“What’s so strange about that?”
When it came to Sariel, it had to be said, pretty much everything. But there was no point dwelling on that.
“You angels live hundreds of times longer than any human ever could.”
“Yes. And? Do you think we could never be happy because of our life spans? Is that what you are insinuating?” He shrugged. “What I’m trying to say,” he continued before waiting for an answer, “is that it’s up to me to decide whether I’m happy or not, do you see? Could love truly be called love if a few passing words from someone else was enough to make it waver?”
“Or could you call it love if it is as completely one-sided as it is with you?”
Even with having this pointed out, Sariel just stared at Ashiya and chuckled. “I heard you were a strategic genius on the battlefield. Who knew you found it difficult to grasp concepts as simple as this?”
“What?”
“I’m the only one who decides whether living with Ms. Kisaki is a happy thing for me or not.”
“Wh-what?”
“But would Ms. Kisaki be happy living with me? I could spend my whole life never knowing the answer to that.”
“W-wait, what are you…?”
“I’m saying, only you have the ability to feel whether you’re happy. Happiness, of course, requires effort on your partner’s part as well—but would my partner see my efforts as a happy thing? The answer to that lies strictly within the heart of Ms. Kisaki. I am not her, you see, so even with my eternal angelic life, I could never truly feel her inherent happiness the way she feels it.”
This caught Ashiya completely off guard. He lost his voice for a moment. In one way, Sariel’s statement could be construed to mean “all that matters is me and screw what anyone else feels,” but examine the actual words, and he meant the exact opposite.
“You’ve been alive for, what, a thousand years? Hardly a short life. But have you ever exhibited such absolute happiness that nobody would ever doubt for all time that you were happy? With all my experience in life, I can confirm to you that you haven’t. Thus, to me, happiness is making a continual effort toward that absolute happiness, something I can hardly say exists for me. Right now, though, I am closer to that kind of happiness than I’ve ever been before in my life. Physically speaking, no less!”
He defiantly pointed back at the MgRonald, still visible in the distance.
“And fortunately for me, I have an example right here.”
“An example? You mean…”
Sariel nodded. “Exactly! Emilia’s mere existence is proof positive of a happiness forged across races, across worlds! When word of her went around the heavens—oh, heads rolled, believe you me! And now I firmly believe that furor was a shot to my heart, a clarion call to shed the malaise of ten thousand years and finally seize the initiative with the goddess I have encountered here!”
Both arms were now raised high as Sariel kept shouting, pedestrians keeping their distance as they walked past. Ashiya remained still, as if strapped to the ground.
“And I believe you have heard too, no, Alciel? About Gabriel’s plan?”
“…You…”
“Because I certainly didn’t—not until fairly recently. If I had known, I would have banished him and Raguel from the heavens centuries ago! That was well before I was aware fate had implanted a goddess into the living world by the name of Mayumi Kisaki, after all. I believed the guidance of the beautiful Ignora was what we needed to keep heaven alive…but no longer.”
Sariel finally lowered his arms, running a hand down his long hair.
“If you have the earth under you, the sky above, the sea ahead, and your own freedom to enjoy, you can go anywhere. Now I’ve finally realized that the only thing stopping me is myself. Ignora, you see, tilts at utopias. If she ever caught sight of Earth or Japan, she would call it a confused, immature jumble of a world. But compared to life in a spotless, oppressive, white-walled room, I’ll take this jumble any day, for it has so many colors to show that I’ve never seen! …Although I’ll take a hospital nurse in a prim white uniform, too.”
If it weren’t for that final sentence, it would have been a fairly intelligent statement to make. But no. Just Sariel being Sariel.
“Why are you getting involved with other people here?”
And the unluckiness of having Mayumi Kisaki in business attire walk right up to him at this moment was also, well, pretty Sariel-like. He swiveled his head toward her, resulting in a fairly awkward body position to be frozen in.
“Oh…um, well, hello, Ms. Kisaki.”
She was carrying a shoulder bag so full of documents that she couldn’t close it all the way, a bag Ashiya recalled seeing before. The stylish peacoat framed her as an elite businesswoman, and it added even more force to her eyes as they shot a gaze at Sariel.
“Why are you revealing your nurse fetishes in the middle of the sidewalk?”
“N-no, um, we were having a philosophical conversation about what happiness truly means for a man…”
“Um, not exactly, you see, er…”
Sariel’s quivering knees made Ashiya worry he could collapse at any moment. He wasn’t lying, but even Ashiya was nervously stammering, not wanting to raise the ire of Maou’s boss.
“Ah, hello again, Mr. Ashiya. I’m sorry you have to deal with the menace of our shopping center.”
“Oh, no, um, I really was speaking with Mr. Sarue, so…”
“There’s no need to defend him. Has this man been bothering you? I’ll be happy to contact the mall administrator or the police if need be.”
“No, it’s fine! Nothing happened! Um, but weren’t you working with Maou today, ma’am?!”
“Oh? Ah. You here to pick him up?” Kisaki accepted Ashiya’s brute-force change of subject, still casting a suspicious eye on Sariel. “Well, sorry to disappoint, but we just split up at the rail station. I think he’s headed home now. Oh, and I forgot to mention it to him, but could you tell him to buy a new pen case? ’Cause he’s got this cheap plastic one with a hole in it, and he’s gotta leave a better impression than that during training.”
“C-certainly. I will tell him.”
“Thank you… So, Sarue, can I borrow you for a sec? There’s something else I want to ask you.”
“Of course! Anything you like!”
Sariel, frozen in time until a moment ago, immediately brightened up like a dog wagging its tail, even though he had to recognize the bed of thorns awaiting him.
“Excuse me, then…”
Seeing that Kisaki’s attention was on the errant angel, Ashiya took the opportunity to bow and walk briskly away. Sariel’s shout stopped him.
“Oh! Ashiya! Tell your roommates that our promise from the other day’s still active, so choose whatever life you want for yourselves!”
“Huh? …Ah. Uhh…”
He raised an eyebrow, unable to respond to this in front of Kisaki.
“And you stop giving people life advice! The one you’re leading’s gonna go straight to the gutter!”
Kisaki gave Sariel a whap to the back of the head. He looked almost elated about it.
Ashiya had planned to stay at MgRonald until closing time if he needed to, but with this new information, there was no need to stick around. Really, he was here mainly to keep watch over Maou’s regular haunts—this MgRonald location in particular—just in case some foe, whether they existed or not, decided to target it.
“If His Demonic Highness was coming home,” he muttered to himself once Kisaki and Sariel were too far away to hear, “he could have at least texted me so I could prepare dinner for him… Oh.”
He was stopped by the display on his smartphone. One message was waiting.
“…”
It had arrived fifteen minutes ago, a simple message from Maou stating that he’d be home soon. It made Ashiya lower his eyebrows.
“Great. I must not have noticed the vibration with all of Sariel’s carrying on. I think there was a way to change the vibration pattern on this…?”
He stopped on the sidewalk, staring at the screen for a while.
“…”
Then, as he stood there with a look of utter confusion on his face, the screen turned off and went back to lock mode.
“And a way to extend the standby time as well…”
But he didn’t act on his needs, simply putting the phone back in his pocket. Somewhere, in that dark screen, he felt like he could see the bright-eyed face of that woman again.
“What am I even thinking…?”
Rika Suzuki had made no contact with him since that evening. But her phone book entry was still top among the dozen or so he had on this phone, and every time he saw the name, he could sense feelings lurking in his heart like none he had felt before.
“…I must hurry. My liege is already home.”
Stuffing his numb hands in his pockets, Ashiya began loping on home. But the whole time it was an anxious walk back. Somehow, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Sariel’s words were looming right behind him.
It was a few weeks ago, that day when Emi and Laila had grown just that little smidgen closer. The day Gabriel’s question had been lobbed at Chiho and the others, just after they had left the archangel’s dismal apartment:
“Have you guys ever heard of Nauru?”
Back then, his question had been just a little hard to appraise.
Nobody thought they had, although since this was Gabriel asking, Chiho assumed it was something to do with heaven or Ente Isla.
“Chiho Sasaki, maybe? Have you?”
For some reason, he was targeting the only Earthling in the crowd.
“Huh? Um, me?”
“Yeah. Or y’know, if anybody here would, it’d be you, mm-kay?”
“Oh, is this someone on Earth, maaaybe?”
Gabriel nodded at Emeralda.
“And not the paaarasite found in lakes and marshes in the northeastern section of the Northern Islaaand? The one where if a cow drinks from infested waaaters, it’ll grow and proliferate so much that it’ll literally eat the poor beast from the insiiide?”
Gabriel groaned at the woman. “Eww, no! Nothing that scary! What’s wrong with you?!”
But as the rest of the table wondered whether such a creature actually existed or not, he revealed the answer:
“Anyway, Nauru’s the name of an Earth nation. It’s on an island in the Pacific Ocean near the equator, the third-smallest country in the world after Vatican City and Monaco. It’s considered to be part of Micronesia, but it’s, like, way the hell out from the rest of those islands. There aren’t a lot of folks on it, either, so it relies on Australia for defense and currency and stuff. Japan had an airbase on it during World War II even.”
The more he spoke, the more it sounded like somewhere on Earth after all. Chiho still had no idea about it, but based on what Gabriel hinted at, it was easy enough to imagine a nice little tropical getaway. But what did Nauru have to do with heaven?
“At one point in the twentieth century,” Gabriel continued as Chiho sat with her own questions, “you could’ve called this place a literal heaven on earth. For one, nobody on the island paid any taxes.”
“Oh?” Chiho blurted out, Suzuno and Emeralda looking just as surprised.
“In fact, every native Nauruan was given a basic income to live off of. Every man, woman, and child on the island received enough of a stipend from the government to handle all their basic needs. I’m not just talking about pensions Japan pays out to its old people—like, you’d make more money just going on welfare instead, mm-kay? I’m talking about everyone from age one to one hundred getting enough cash that they could eat out three times a day, replace their car with a new one each year, and still have enough left to screw around with. All that, without even working. And like I said, none of it was taxed.”
“Wow, really?”
It was a life beyond anything Chiho could comprehend, but Gabriel gave her an emphatic nod. “Yeah! And anyone would react like that, huh? But it’s true, mm-kay? Not a lot of people have Nauruan citizenship, but back in the day, the per capita income over there was way past Japan or the U.S. It was the highest in the world. I mean, nobody was throwing bags of money around or whatever, but in terms of world standards, everybody on that island was filthy rich.”
Chiho just sat there, mouth open, as if hearing about an alien landscape. She couldn’t say why Gabriel, an angel from another world, cared so much about a nation that was pretty minor by Japanese standards, but the initial shock far outweighed that concern.
“They…were?”
“Yeah.”
“…What about now?”
Gabriel beamed, waiting for just this moment. “The unemployment rate’s over ninety percent. One of the poorest nations in the world. They’re managin’ to keep it together mostly with international support.”
“Uh, how’d that happen?”
Someone with a grasp of economics and politics as weak as Chiho’s couldn’t imagine what led to this. But someone with an understanding as strong as Emeralda’s could.
“Did that nation have some kind of natural reeesource the rest of the world waaanted? And it’s all been miiined now, so there you go?”
“Exactly. In particular, they had a lot of this mineral called phosphate.”
Phosphate is an indispensable raw material in the industrial and agricultural fields. Since it is, it’s in demand across the world. And Nauru had some of the world’s best phosphate deposits formed by the droppings of birds accumulated over tens of thousands of years. The world’s superpowers pushed into the island in the early twentieth century, seeking this phosphate, and the ruling government changed in and out, depending on who among them was on the rise. But after the war, when it joined the Commonwealth and became independent, the most striking thing was how the paradise Gabriel described was basically nonexistent by the nineties.
“So in just over ten years, it went from a paradise to this nation deep in poverty. It used to have some of the world’s most valuable natural resources, but”—he snapped his fingers—“ten years. Which, hell, that’s what you get for takin’ something built over millennia and running through it in less than a century. Humans are a scary bunch, yeah?”
He was grabbing for another fry as he said this, only to be met with the empty bottom of the bag he was holding. He rolled his eyes.
“But there wasn’t much they could do to avoid it. Once the phosphate was gone, all the international companies and laborers were bound to go with it. Nauru got poorer and poorer, and naturally they couldn’t keep that basic income thing going. No money, no way to buy food. Now, Chiho Sasaki, what would you do if you were there?”
Chiho thought Gabriel was starting to sound like a history teacher, but she tried to use her unpolished intellect to cobble together an answer.
“Well, I’d look for work, but… I guess there wouldn’t be any, huh? Like in the Great Depression. So I guess I’d try to farm or fish what I needed or go find a job in another country…”
Chiho’s mind flashed back to the black-and-white photos of breadlines in her textbooks.
“Very good! If it was a certain freeloader I know, he’d probably just give up and starve to death right there.”
Nobody needed to ask who Gabriel meant.
“That’s the proper way to think about it. Nobody wants to starve. If you’re starting to look short on cash, you search for work or try not to spend as much, right? That’s normal.” He flashed a self-effacing smile. “But guess what? Most Nauruans didn’t do a thing.”
“Huh?”
“It’s not that they couldn’t do anything. They chose to do nothing. Unless their families had already been living off the land for generations, most of them just sat there and watched their nation’s industry and economy collapse.”
“They didn’t do anything? But that’s just…”
“You gotta work if you wanna eat, as they say, mm-kay? And we only have that little adage because the people who lived before y’all really did work to eat.”
This attracted the attention of Amane, who had spent the dinner mostly picking on Acieth and Erone, even as she worried about how quickly they were vacuuming up the contents of her wallet.
“The people of Nauru went too long without having to work,” she explained. “During the phosphate glory days, most of the mining work was done by foreign labor, and before that, the locals either fished or traded or used what little arable land there was to farm. There wasn’t even a currency-based economy in place. No matter which generation you look at, there was never this custom of laboring for money.”
And even that fishing was just on a subsistence level. None of it was large-scale enough to develop into an industry. And the phosphate mining had plugged the island so full of holes right up to people’s backyards that they couldn’t even keep themselves fed any longer. But despite that, the people of Nauru, which had spent generations living without working, never really accepted the premise of labor for money.
This, of course, doesn’t apply to every islander. Even now, Nauru is home to trade and communication and industry and everything else. It has the feature set needed to become a tourist destination if it wanted to, and there are even efforts to find new veins of phosphate to prop up that dying business. Some foreign-educated politicians are even trying to use real estate and finance to revitalize the economy. With Nauru being a generally laid-back place, the collapse of the economy brought about no rioting or other major unrest; the already-small population didn’t suddenly shrink.
The people’s determined disinterest in working, however, remains a tough nut to crack. A combination of their eating habits during the good old days and a Pacific Islander tendency to equate extra weight with wealth has led to some of the world’s highest rates of obesity and diabetes. Most economic policies so far have failed, not stopping the decline and even accelerating it at times. Eventually it got to the point where it accepted war refugees in exchange for aid, and even the refugees turned their backs to them, saying they “couldn’t be here.” The century-long dream of paradise was over, and it would take an incomprehensibly long time to go back to a more traditional, tranquil South Sea Island nation.
Chiho couldn’t hide her surprise over such a nation actually existing. But she still didn’t see how any of this connected to heaven.
“Now, y’know, it’s not like I went over there to see it for myself. This was just some of the stuff I found online back when I was holed up in that Internet café, right?”
This didn’t quite answer it. Chiho didn’t think Gabriel brought this up just so he could talk about this cool site on the Net he found. But then Gabriel’s face took an unexpected turn for the serious.
“So, um, how to put it? I guess you could say heaven right now’s kinda where Nauru was just before it started declining, ’kay? Most of the angels don’t want for a single thing up there, but me, Ignora, the guardian angels… All right, the ‘upper class,’ if you insist on me putting it that way… We all know that we can’t expect the dream to go on forever, y’know? But nobody’s tryin’ to change anything, and nobody’s even thinking about it.”
He shifted his eyes from Chiho to Suzuno.
“Lemme ask ya. What’s, like, the ultimate goal of you guys over in the Church? When you pray to God ’n’ stuff, what are you expecting back?”
“Divine salvation and guidance to an eternal paradise, free of pain,” replied Suzuno, who still acknowledged herself as a Church cleric. “That is the brunt of it. This assumes, of course, that this world exists and is reachable if you try hard enough. The paradise our scripture describes is one that can only be realized through the joint efforts of us all—such is the current mainstream interpretation in Sankt Ignoreido.”
“All righty. So if an eternal paradise free of pain really did exist, what do you think people would do?”
“…Hmm.”
Suzuno brought a hand to her chin, thinking about it for a moment, but the question seemed to give her little trouble.
“Then we would all descend into sin, or our emotional and ethical standards would tumble downward. Either way, human society as we know it would be toppled.”
“Correct!” Gabriel gave this his very best golf clap, as Amane nodded her agreement. “Well, Ignora went and actually built that paradise. And she’s still ruling over it now.”
“Whatever do you mean by thaaat?” Emeralda asked.
“Humans,” he replied, making an uncharacteristically serious effort in his word choice, “cease being human when they can’t die. Or at least can’t die unless they really, really try to. They just turn into this living…thing.”
He used his right hand to make a throat-slitting gesture over his neck.
“Angels are basically immortal, but all that means is you don’t die naturally, mm-kay? If your head explodes or you lose more blood than your body can replenish itself with, then you’ll die all the same. But y’know, even if your heart gets all smashed up, as long as you got enough holy force to heal the wound, it’s possible to revive you. That’s one of the core tenets of holy magic, am I right? And yeah, maybe you’ll have some aftereffects or whatever, but we all got a really good chance of surviving something that’d kill a normal human. And the amount of holy force we got connects directly to our immune system. I dunno the, like, science behind it, but we pretty much never get sick. Not even a sniffle.”
“Ah, yes, I’ve heard about that.”
Chiho recalled the impromptu magic seminar Suzuno had given her in the bathhouse before learning how to send an Idea Link. They nodded at each other.
“Yeah. Now, if you look at it the other way, with all the holy force we got, the passage of time can’t do a damn thing to kill us. We can swear off food and water for thousands of years, but nothing related to metabolism or growth or illness will do us in. And what’s what heaven is right now—a totally safe shelter, not a care in the world for humans, to be in a place where they can’t die unless someone actively tries to kill them.”
Not having to lift a finger to keep on living. In a way, just like Nauru of the day, where simply existing granted you enough money to live as long as you wanted.
“So thanks to that, the people in my homeland… Well, they kinda fell apart, you get me? It used to be a real community, full of real, mortal people—lots of different families and stuff—just like anyplace you’d see on Earth or Ente Isla. But thanks to a lot of coincidence and tragedy, plus all of Ignora’s power, we got to be called angels. We weren’t people any longer. After all, why would we be? We had no active goals left in life. We became immortal, and then too much time passed where we didn’t have to do anything…and now we’ve forgotten what it means to have a goal.”
In other words, the heavens, or the people of Gabriel’s homeland, were like the Nauruans—sent money for free across multiple generations.
“Lemme remind you guys—how many angels have appeared before you so far?”
“Ummm…” Chiho glanced at Suzuno again as she counted on her fingers. “Sariel, Gabriel, Laila…”
“Raguel, Camael, the Heavenly Regiment… Would Emilia and Lucifer count, too?”
“Not too many, huh? We’re supposed to be these crazy intelligent aliens steering the history of Ente Isla from behind the scenes, and we got, like, no one practically. Try to think about how many working demons there were when the Devil King invaded Ente Isla by comparison for me.”
“When we carried out our sweep up of the Central Continent,” Suzuno articulated slowly as she looked at Maou from the side, “we estimated their force to be at least fifty thousand.”
Maou didn’t offer any special reaction to this, but he didn’t deny it, so it had to be a close estimation. It meant that probably several times that number of demons were slain by the Ente Islans, but while Maou took responsibility for that, Suzuno knew he didn’t fault the enemy for it.
But now that everyone knew that statistic, Gabriel offered an even more surprising one of his own.
“Well, you know, the entire population of heaven is, maybe, a little over five thousand, you feel me? And over nine out of ten don’t do jack with their lives. They just exist. They don’t even try to do anything else.”
“Just…five thousand?” Chiho croaked.
For the population of an entire species that had its own fully constructed society, that sounded outlandishly low. Gabriel nodded at her.
“My planet’s a lot more scientifically advanced than Earth, and it’s more magically advanced than Ente Isla, too. But the whole reason we’re going around as angels on Ente Isla is ’cause the whole dang planet was ruined.”
Gabriel casually tossing out the word ruined made Chiho, Suzuno, and Emeralda freeze. After all, it was Laila who was asking Maou and Emi to help with the crisis on Ente Isla.
“It’s really the result of one tragedy on top of another.” Gabriel sighed as he rested his head on a hand. “Right when the star at the center of our system was having a lull in its solar activity, there was this huge supernova in the next galaxy over. That itself wasn’t a huge biggie; it was kind of like going without phone service for a day or two. That wasn’t the issue. You can call it, like, a change in the airflow of space—the pressure from the supernova just hit our entire planet dead-on from out of nowhere, and it brought a lot of harmful crap along with it. By Earth standards, I guess our star was in a pretty inactive period for, what, thirty years? So you didn’t see any solar winds going around the stars that protected our planet, and then all of a sudden, this supernova sends a shock wave that carries all the crap in the local space right over to us. And then, just when our star gets active again, it started sending all that harmful matter back across the whole system. I tell you, it went from bad to worse to even worse. Of course, Ignora’s scientists didn’t figure all this out until long after it was too late.”
“Weren’t you one of those scientists, Gabe?”
Gabriel shook his head at Amane. “Nah,” he replied as he gave another airy grin, “I was hardly into science, or medicine, or astronomy, or whatever back then, sweets. When I was living on my home planet, I was chief of security at the research lab Ignora headed. The pay was, well, not exactly what the researchers got, but we all got along pretty well. I even knew a lot of the higher-ups… Man, I don’t even remember the last time I talked about that place. Here I thought I’d forgotten most of it…”
He looked out at the window, a nostalgic tinge to his eyes as he watched passersby make their way across Nerima Station.
“But anyway, thanks to that wave of harmful particles, the whole planet got caught up in this huge, lethal pandemic. A few of the less powerful nations died out entirely. Ignora’s lab was set up by top scientists from around the world to find an effective solution against this disease. It was actually set up in one of our moon colonies—we already had a long history in space, so it was to the point where, man, we were sending people to live on all kindsa planets around our local system. So here you had this Institute set up to protect mankind from this harmful matter and the pandemic—all its medicine, its astronomy, its holy magic, its climate, its geology, its civic policy, its architecture, its genetic engineering, and all the laws and economic policy and logistics that harnessed all that stuff. But then…”
Gabriel turned toward Acieth and Erone, currently fighting over Maou for control of his wallet so they could make another food order.
“Then well, we failed. We couldn’t save the planet or anyone on it. In the space of less than twenty years, the pandemic wiped out every piece of our civilization. Our homeland. Someplace way more advanced than Earth, and I’m sorry, but way, way more advanced than Ente Isla. And that happened after war broke out worldwide over the immortality formula Ignora came up with. It’s not even funny, is it? I couldn’t believe how stupid we all were. It really freaked me out back then.”
“In the midst of seeking paradise, you lost sight of your own standards?”
“Y’know, Crestia Bell, I’d like to say it was as noble as all that, but I’d be very much lying.” Gabriel laughed at the question. “People were just too impatient, y’know? All they wanted was some magic that could sweep away this disaster as quickly as it appeared. Like, normally, you’d have to spend decades developing an antibody for the disease, or build secret underground shelter cities worldwide to evacuate to, or—hell—spend a century or so making this force field or whatever that blocked out the harmful radiation. But Ignora’s talents refused to let her settle for that. She zoomed right past all that boring antibody junk and just found a magic formula for immortality instead. Everyone swarmed on it, of course. Like, who gives a flip about anything else? I’m lookin’ out for numero uno, so gimme that body and I’ll never have to worry about disease again! That’s what I thought, y’know, and so did everyone else in the world. It wasn’t a breakdown in standards—we all just exploded ’cause we couldn’t hold out anymore, you get me?”
“So can I ask you something?”
“What is it, Amane?”
“How did you achieve immortality anyway?”
Her voice was stern, deep, as if she already knew the answer. Picking up on this, Gabriel turned his eyes toward Acieth, who had successfully relieved Maou of his wallet and was already racing for the cash registers.
“Ignora managed to find the last remaining traces of the Tree of Life on our planet. She found the Sephirah children who blundered their way into the human world.”
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