Side Story
The Advice Service
“...AN ADVICE SERVICE?”
“Yes! I mean, I’m rather knowledgeable about a lot of things, if I do say so myself.”
“I guess so? Er, well, I mean, you do have a lot of logic-defying knowledge…” Reina chose her words carefully in order to avoid directly refuting Mile’s claim.
“I was thinking that this knowledge shouldn’t go to waste. So, on days when we aren’t doing hunter work, like when we’re taking breaks or just have some time to kill, I might like to run an advice service. It’s the perfect way to help people, socialize with other hunters, and pass the time in an entertaining way.”
“Something tells me that last one is the thing that most interests you…” Reina sighed.
“If it’ll make us some money, then I’m all for it, Mile!” Naturally, the prospect of profit was enough to entice Pauline. However…
“Pauline, if Mile makes money doing something by herself on our off days, then that money belongs to Mile. Or are you offering to contribute the proceeds from that for-profit healing you do to the party’s shared coffers?”
“Gah!” Pauline collapsed to the floor.
“Wow, Mavis’s congeniality attack strikes again!”
“Hold on, I don’t think Pauline is acting! There’s actually blood coming out of her mouth! Just how effective was that?”
“Oh wow, she’s twitching…”
“N-no seriously! Mile, heal her! Heal her right away!!!”
***
That was how the Crimson Vow decided to open an advice service together. Pauline avidly insisted that if all four of them were involved in running it, and not simply Mile alone, then the profits would belong to all of them. And since Mile was not particularly concerned about adding to her own purse, she readily accepted this. Though Mavis and Reina did have their objections…
The only reason Mile had even considered charging a fee was to prevent window shoppers or stave off customers who should have just gone to a fortune teller.
Fortune-telling, incidentally, was a legitimate business. It was a specialized profession, requiring a high level of expertise and utilizing a wide variety of knowledge. Fortune tellers needed well-honed insight, conversational aptitude, and psychological sensitivity. It was a real skill to put into words the worries and doubts of the person one was talking to and gently guide them toward the answer they were subconsciously seeking. So, Mile had no intention of getting in the way of that.
Besides, it was much more fun to hang out with the others than it would be to sit alone, twiddling her thumbs and waiting for customers to arrive. In fact, she was elated when Pauline suggested they should all go into business together. She felt that she shouldn’t take advantage of her friends on their days off, but she couldn’t resist the promise of their company.
Fortunately, the Crimson Vow’s main line of work did not wear them out all that much. Unlike some other hunters, they didn’t sustain frequent injuries or lose a great deal of gear. Even if that did happen, Mile or Pauline could heal their wounds, and Mile could repair their equipment, which meant that they never had too much to do on their days off anyway.
Well, no. Taking breaks was still important in avoiding burnout, but this specific proposal of Mile’s sounded as though it would be quite relaxing and a fun change of pace. At the end of the day, it wasn’t much different from what they usually did on their rest days—i.e. lay around and gossip at the inn.
“All right! We are now open for business!”
The Crimson Vow’s advice service was operating out of a corner of the guildhall, where they had set up a nook near the guild’s dining area, positioning two chairs facing a small table.
This was, quite literally, an advice corner.
They had been granted permission to set up this area free of charge, after gently imploring (read: bullying) the guild master. As far as the guild was concerned, currying the favor of the Crimson Vow was good for business. All the more so if the young hunters could help solve problems that their fellow hunters were having. It was the hunters who were seeking their advice who would pay the consultation fee, so the guild would not have to front a single copper. For all this, they would gladly offer up a space that took up not even two square meters, and which no one was using in the first place.
Mile sat in one of the two chairs that faced the little table, the other sitting empty in anticipation of customers. The rest of the party sat at a nearby table in the dining corner, watching (and enjoying some snacks and drinks).
After a short while, some of the other hunters finally took notice of Mile, who was, after all, a well-known local figure. They began to gather, asking each other what she could possibly be up to now. As they drew closer, they saw a sign beside her table, which read:
ADVICE SERVICE
Whatever’s on your mind, we’re here to listen!
FEE: Pay What You Want. The level of advice will be determined by your offer.
EXAMPLE: Concerning coercion by ruffians.
1 COPPER: Keep up the good fight! Don’t lose heart!
1 SILVER: We will accompany you to speak with them and help you resolve the issue.
1 GOLD: Please wait a day. In just one night, we will crush the lot of them.
PLEASE BE ADVISED: This is only a fictitious example. If one day some criminal organization were to suddenly be vanquished overnight, it will have nothing to do with our business.
The hunters who looked upon this fell silent. And then…
“WHAT THE HELL IS THAAAT?!?!?!”
The citizens of this new continent had sadly yet to build up a resistance to the Crimson Vow’s shenanigans.
***
“Could I…ask a question?”
About twenty minutes after Mile sat down, their first customer arrived.
“Please, go ahead!” Mile sat at attention.
When she had first stepped up, those in the vicinity had eyed the table with interest, but everyone seemed hesitant to actually approach. Finally, a sacrifice—er, hero—had appeared! Whenever a new, uninsured product launched, there were always those brave souls who were the first to purchase it, regardless of the fact that they might find it to be bogus. Without these brave warriors, society would never progress!
“So then, what would you like to ask us about?” Mile prompted.
“I want to have storage that can hold tons of stuff, too! I want it so bad I could cry, but I don’t have that ability, so I can’t make very much money. Please do something!”
“Sir, our shop offers only discussions. We aren’t taking job requests… But, seeing as you are our first customer, I’ll do you a special favor. How much capacity are you after? And also, how much are you planning to pay for our advice?”
As the sign suggested, the level of service depended on the payment.
The customer was rather astonished. He’d thought his request an impossible one, but Mile seemed to actually be considering solutions. Was she going to teach him how to use storage magic? No, that was an incredibly difficult magic to master. In that case, maybe this child—who, everyone knew, did have storage magic—would come along with him on his hunts? No, or wait, perhaps she would lend him the legendary magical tool known as a Bag of Storage, which could hold many more times than it looked like it should?
No way. That would never happen!
But wait, the customer thought. The most important aspect of storage magic was capacity. Perhaps he could specify a large amount for a low fee… After all, it was Mile who had offered to do him a solid as their first ever customer. So maybe…
“I want six cubic meters. And I’ll pay one silver!”
Several impressed oohs and ahs echoed through the room. How scandalous! How shocking! A request truly fitting of the title of “hero”… How was this little girl going to respond to this reckless hunter’s request?!
“You’ll receive the storage you seek from the carpenter over on Third Street.”
Is she talking about a storage room?!?!?! all the hunters screamed internally.
“You should be able to store tons of luggage and any prey that you bring back home from your travels in there!”
In all fairness, the hunter who came to Mile had never specified storage magic. Furthermore, a single silver was only roughly equivalent to one thousand Japanese yen.
If he had specified an even smaller capacity, she might have just directed him to a broom closet… thought one hunter.
If he wanted something crazy, he should have offered the money to match… thought another.
Behind him, other hunters, began to wonder if perhaps she might give them storage magic if they offered enough. Suddenly, quite a few took out their coin purses and began counting coins. Sadly, before they could even finish, Mile pasted a new piece of paper onto her sign:
TODAY’S FORBIDDEN TOPIC: STORAGE
“Noo! No, waaait!”
“It’s all that idiot’s fault!”
“Gods dammit!!!”
Soon, the next customer arrived. This time, it was not someone seeking anything outrageous but, rather, a person with a normal problem.
This particular customer was a female hunter in her early twenties. “Um,” she said, “I’m pretty sure my party leader, who I’m dating, is cheating on me.”
Mile immediately and enthusiastically spouted number 53 on her “list of phrases I’ve always wanted to say.”
“It’s time to kick him to the curb, girlfriend!”
She huffed through her nose, feeling immensely accomplished, when suddenly… Smack! She was struck soundly across the back of the head by a rolled-up tube of paper.
“Quit acting ridiculous. This woman trusted you with a difficult fact of her actual life!” Reina was furious. She had intended to be there only as an observer, but she could not let this one go.
After the female hunter came a mage who was worried they had plateaued in strengthening their magical power—as everyone knew, “skill” could be improved via training, in terms of incantation speed or accuracy, but there were times when even training had no effect on actual “power.” For this mage, Mile was able to offer a few training techniques. Without divulging the existence of nanomachines, she gave them a handful of tips and tricks to help them level up in their abilities.
And so it continued.
With the exception of the individuals who brought up subjects on which Mile was useless (read: inexperienced)—such as romance and other difficult human relationships—most of her customers left the table relatively satisfied.
At the times when Mile was lacking, Mavis, Reina, or Pauline stepped in to help. Reina was worldly, and Mavis, as a noble’s daughter, was skilled in explaining things. She had been trained to help resolve the complaints of landholders and other officials. And Pauline was able to impart techniques to crush one’s opponents and utterly break their spirits with a smile. When she spoke, she positively glowed…with a dark, menacing aura.
Finally, a certain customer made an appearance—and what an ominous appearance it was.
“Say, Mile, if I wanted to date you, how would I go about that?”
“Come again?”
“I’ll pay a whole gold! That’ll definitely be enough for you to solve my problem, right?”
“Wh-what?”
The man pointed to the words written on the sign:
1 Gold: Please wait a day. In just one night…
“So, tonight…”
“Wh-wh-wh…huuuh?!” Mile howled, going red in the face.
And then…
Crunch! Crunch!
Two hands gripped the man’s shoulders—one each belonging to a menacing Reina and Mavis…
Pauline’s radiant smile never faded when there was anyone other than her party members around. “My, my, my! Would you like to go on a date with us?” Her smile remained…but it was a bleak one.
“Eek!”
The man looked as though he had seen a ghost.
“Why don’t you come cool your head a bit?” asked Reina, even as she muttered an incantation for a fire spell. Before the customer could do anything of the sort, ice ran through the veins of everyone in the guildhall.
“Waaaaah! Oh, gods! H-help me! Help!”
Drag, draaag…
“M-Mile! Please help me! S-someone h—glrk!”
Draaaaaag…
Mile thought that she heard a sound of cloth being stuffed into someone’s mouth, but it was probably just her imagination…or so she forcibly convinced herself.
Best to forget the things she did not wish to think about.
“Welcome to our advice corner!” she proclaimed. “Whatever’s on your mind, we’re here to listen!”
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