I’m Sorry For Being Born In This World! - Chapter 59

Chapter 59. A Blazing Heart and a Frigid Head

When a person suffers from immense stress and possesses a power to regenerate at an inhuman speed, a certain irregularity forms. A cell gets created when one rejects death and continues to live for an extended time.

Cancer.

The cells that had forgotten its original purpose had eaten away at the saint’s body for five years. The Ouroboros bracelet must’ve been there to stop the cancer cells from acting out. I sent the hired team of doctors to their original world using Heart of Gold as I looked down at the saint. She was pale, her breath seemed irregular and weak.

Her death was soon, and it was certain–.

It was too late to try to cure it. An attempt to extend her life would only manage to bring her more pain. The cancer cells on her body was the result of her using salvation one too many times.

This power that required the user to take on the pain and suffering of others while allowing them to have high health and regeneration had been taking its toll on her from since a long time ago.

She must’ve saved many, many people.

She probably never stopped to look at her body once. She probably just followed her heart to help those in need constantly. Just so that she could help one more person. Just so that she could make the world a little bit better.

But–.

This was how she ended. The one who is the most important in this world should be her, so why didn’t she live a more self-fulfilling life?

…I couldn’t understand it.

“Why do you have to help other people?”

When I asked the question a long time ago, the saint responded as if she had never thought about the question before.

“What? Mm… I wonder? Because you have to help other people?”

You had to help other people because you had to help other people. An answer befitting the saint perfectly.

“That’s my question, idiot saint.”
“Do you need a reason to help other people?”

What a naive question—-.

“I suppose I can call this a side effect of cramming. ‘Humans need to be good. For they are human.’ An illogical answer.”
“Pft! Mr. Murderer, you always say that ‘humans shouldn’t be looked down upon’, but you actually look down on them quite a bit, don’t you? Humans aren’t as thoughtless as you think you know?”
“Then what? Do humans do good because it profits everyone in the end?”

The saint gave me a thumbs up.

“Geez, you really are brainless. Helping someone you don’t even know for no apparent reason… It’s a loss, no matter how I see it. Not to mention that it’s illogical as well.”
“It’s not good to think about profits when it comes to saving other people. Don’t you think it would be good to help other people in your spare time? They might even repay you in the future.”
“Aha. So it’s like taking care of any future debts? Almost like an investment?”

The saint gripped onto her head in frustration.

“Ugh… No. No! That’s not it! It’s not supposed to be because of something that could be calculated, but rather…”

The saint clapped her hands after a bit of thought.

“Right!”

She even smiled confidently when it came through her head.

“The reason why people help each other is…! Because they have the capacity to relate with others. They feel other people’s pain. Because of this, they help others to help people out of their pain. In order to create a better world for everyone, like you said!”

A better world…
This dream of hers was quite similar to what the young me had strived to create.

A world where everyone benefits.
A world where everyone is happy.

But…

Why is it that I can’t imagine you in this ideal world? The one who worked the hardest for it was you. The one who deserve to be the happiest is you.

Why do people have to be good?

I still didn’t know the answer to this question. The answer that I had reached myself a long time ago turned out to be a wrong one.

[——]

“…Is that so? Alright.”

I turned off telepathy. Necro had managed to revive on the ground. He messaged me that he would get on the Sky Island at the next point. This would take him at least two days. I had to take care of the saint until then.

She seemed to be cured on the outside…

Was it because of the shock? I wonder how long it would take her to recover from her mental shock? The doctor told me that she needed to rest. The only thing I could do, therefore, was just watch over her.

It felt like a waste of time, but I couldn’t afford to leave. I had no idea what the saint would do after waking up.

It would’ve been so much better if she just ran away…

The Warrior.
The Thief.
The Summoner.
And even the saint.

If they all just ran away…

“The Hero won’t run you know?”

That bright voice of hers simply refused to leave my brain. Despite the fact that the saint herself was laying down in front of me like a corpse.

“The Hero’s the one who fights for everyone’s sake after all. You might not be the real thing, but you are a hero too Mr. Murderer! Why don’t you try getting a change of heart and live like a kind person from now on? Doesn’t this feel like a second chance for you?”

The past we shared crawled out of its grave to repaint the present. At the time, I had answered this question of hers with this.

“A hero… It’s highly abnormal to have a society rely entirely on one person.”
“Why do you think so coldly, Mr. Murderer? You really should try being more positive sometimes.”
“…Seeing the majority rely solely on a talented minority of people reminds me of a democratic society.”

The saint, who was sitting down next to a fountain at the time, had a confused expression on her face.

“Is that a positive line of thought?”
“No way. This is a violence of the majority. Something that’s only possible because the world is filled with idiots and evil. Heroes must exist because the majority didn’t want to take up arms to do the hard work themselves.”

The saint raised her head and looked down on me with an arrogant smile.

“Ants and sand count as the majority as well, you know?”
“‘Normally’ this is the case.”
“Even if that was the case, your theory of the majority of the population being idiots and evil is wrong!”

She strongly rejected my opinion. Seeing this, I couldn’t help but ask a question.

“What about it is wrong?”
“Just look. I’m not trying to look down on you or anything, but if you look at the population as a whole statistically, there are very few idiots. There are very few you can call geniuses as well. Just like how there are very few truly good people, there are very few truly bad people as well. The majority would actually be normal citizens. The people who aren’t that stupid or smart. A normal person, just like me.”
“How interesting.”

To think she’d call herself a normal citizen… If one put the world on a spectrum, the saint was surely the most beautiful shade of white.

“They say that both good and evil exist in a person’s heart. They can be kind sometimes but at the same time, they can be evil as well. They can make stupid moves and wise choices at times. Humans are a complicated mess of things. Perhaps the only reason why the world seems to be full of idiots and evil is because they’re far too bright? You only notice them a lot more because they stand out.”

Right. She had to be right. In this world, both idiots and evil were a small minority. Most were normal people, neither good nor evil, smart nor stupid, worrying about their daily lives.

Perhaps the real idiot here was me.

The sky darkened as the night closed in. The sun rose into the sky and fell back down again. I continued to sit in my chair, waiting for the saint to open her eyes.

Four days later.

The saint managed to open her eyes. She told me this once she found me.

“You’re arrogant, deceiving, and you never even try to understand others. I dislike you for that.”

I completely agree. There was probably no one in this entire world who could give a heart to a heartless monster like me.

No, this probably was the case for any world that might be out there…

The saint who had regained her memory was far quieter than before. Her eyes were void of light, and she refused to eat any food.

And soon,

The time to end this journey of ours had come.

—

A blazing heart and a frigid head.
Heißes Herz und kühler Kopf.

Epilogue end.

Once autumn ends and winter passes, spring arrives.
Beginning the [Reality Modification] arc.