Chapter I: A Spot of Matchmaking
“So, what’s up?”
“Oh, uh... not much... It’s good to see you, by the way. Have a drink and then we’ll talk...”
“...Did you hit your head or something?”
Ende was acting a little more docile than usual, which made the whole situation feel weird. We were at the tavern by the guild, meeting up for the first time in quite a while.
I’d recently returned from my honeymoon, so I’d spent the last week and change catching up with affairs I’d missed and taking care of general government busywork. Just when I thought I finally had some free time on my hands, Ende called me up. He should’ve acted more considerate, given that I was still a newlywed man!
Still, I recognized it was important for guys to bond every now and then. Plus, I hadn’t seen Ende in a while, and something about him seemed a little... glum? That was why I decided to hear him out.
“How’s uh...? How’s your marriage going, man?”
“...You definitely hit your head on something, didn’t you.”
I wasn’t exactly sure why he was so interested in my relationships all of a sudden. Frankly, his out-of-character behavior was a little concerning. Had Uncle Takeru beaten his brains to mush or something? I must’ve had a strange expression on my face, since Ende suddenly let out a little sigh and began to speak.
“I’m sure you know by now, but marriage as a concept exists in various forms across different cultures. It could be a ceremony to decide your life partner, a contractual agreement to have children, some religious decree, or any other social construct.”
“Uh, okay?”
“We Travelers are a transient species, Touya. Few of my kind ever actually get married. Because if we fall in love with something that isn’t a fellow Traveler, our journey will end. Those that bind themselves to one world and no longer traverse the boundaries can’t well call themselves Travelers, now can they? Though, I suppose there have been members of my kind who resume their travels after outliving their spouses...”
“Where are you going with this?”
You’re spewing a whole bunch of word vomit, dude. Get to the point already!
Ende glanced away from me and took a long gulp of his booze, downing the whole thing in one go. He even drank the ice.
“I’m... gonna... y’know... get hitched too...”
“Huh? Wait... what?!”
Ende’s words almost made me drop my glass.
What the hell am I supposed to say to that?! Is this because of the bouquet toss at my wedding?! Or does Karen have something to do with it?!
“Uh... h-hold on a sec... Just to be clear, you mean Melle, right?”
“Obviously. I’m not a playboy like you, Touya.”
Tsk... Don’t make me leave, asshole! But seriously... Ende? Married? I can’t picture it! This is nuts...
“Melle got interested in it after seeing your wedding. There’s no such thing as marriage on Phrasia, after all.”
“Huh wait, so... how do the Phrase, y’know... couple up?”
The Dominant Constructs had male and female forms. If they didn’t group up in the traditional way, then what was the point?
“Dominant Phrase can reproduce asexually semi-regularly.”
“Asexually?”
“Yeah. They can spawn their own offspring. And they don’t look like babies or anything, either. They’re usually born as little cores that grow their own bodies over time.”
I asked for some more details, and Ende explained that there was functionally no such thing as a childhood for the Phrase species. They were born as single cores, then evolved rapidly into individual organisms. By the time they became conscious of themselves, they were already fully-grown, living creatures.
A fully grown Phrase sacrifices its own life energies to create a new core. The more of their lifeforce they use, the more cores they can create. In a sense, the offspring served as replacements for the parent, which would likely eventually die after creating too many.
“Dominant constructs work a bit differently. They can produce cores without sacrificing their life energies, but it ends up creating a degraded copy of the parent, effectively. It’s not something they enjoy doing.”
“...So then, do they only reproduce asexually? Or can they have children like... together? I dunno.”
I wasn’t really sure how to phrase my question... Not that I was super interested in the answer to it or anything...
“Well, sort of. Two Phrase lifeforms can fuse their cores to create new life. That’s similar enough to human reproduction, right?”
He was sort of right, but not... exactly... It was definitely a fusion of sorts, anyway.
“The Phrase have no concept of marriage. If the intelligent ones want to have kids, they simply use the core of a fellow Phrase they’re interested in. But they don’t have to be a couple for that to happen. They don’t even have to live near each other. There are some Phrase that live in pairs, but they’re few and far between. Most Dominant Constructs don’t know both of their parents, so even if they have siblings, they’ll likely never know that.”
That’s... interesting. But I guess it makes sense, given the way their species work and all... I get why Melle would be interested in such an alien concept as marriage ceremonies.
“You know what marriage means, right?”
“I know what it is, Touya. It’s when two people love each other very much. They support each other, live together, and maybe even raise kids together...”
That was a fairly basic explanation, but he just about got the gist of it... Stuff like arranged or political marriages also existed, but there was no point bringing that up.
“Could you even have a kid with Melle?”
“Melle crossed through dimensions to be with me, and her body’s constantly evolving. Right now she’s quite biologically distinct from the Phrase she once was. She’s kind of a new species, but one similar to me... As far as our compatibility goes... I think we might be able to try, at least. It’s just, well...” Ende looked a little down as he spoke. I was almost afraid to ask what was wrong with him.
“It’s not just Melle... Ney and Lycee would be involved too, so...”
“WHAAAT?!”
What the hell?! You just said you’re not a playboy like me, right?! Then you come out at me like that?! Harem protagonist-looking ass!
Ende must have seen the fire in my eyes. He quickly waved his arms as if to calm me down.
“Wait, wait. Not me, you idiot. They’d marry Melle. Both of them told me they want to.”
“Uhhh...”
The blow to my brain from his words ended up making me speak like an idiot for a half-second. What did he mean?
“Melle wasn’t the only one interested in your ceremony, Touya. Ney and Lycee both told me afterward that they want to marry her.”
...So Melle’s the harem protagonist in this situation? Wild.
“Aren’t they girls?”
“So? Why would that matter? Girls on Phrasia can still have children with other girls. It’s not as common, since the offspring can’t be male in that case, which decreases sexual diversity, but that wouldn’t matter much in Melle’s case anyway.”
Huh, the more you know... Is that really fine, though? Wait, what am I saying! It doesn’t really matter whether someone’s a boy, girl, or anything else. Love’s love, so marriage is fine. Hell, there are plenty of people fighting for that idea to be validated back on Earth, too.
Polygamy was normal in this world, so as long as you had the resources to support your family, you could marry as many people as you wanted. I’d even heard about some duchess someplace with three husbands, actually.
I hadn’t exactly heard of any cases of bisexual marriage, but I was sure there was someone out there engaged in it.
“So what did they say about Melle?”
“That they’d be comfortable with all four of us as a family unit. But if Melle said no, then they’d give up.”
Hmm... I think Melle will probably say yes. She’ll probably see the marriage as solidifying the family she already has. I know she definitely loves Ende, but at the same time... it’s not like they have to get married to seal that deal, right?
“How would you feel about those two marrying Melle?”
“Uhhh... I’m fine with it, I guess? I’ve been traveling with Lycee for a while, so I know her well. And living with Ney has made me grow to appreciate her. I’d maybe feel a little jealous, but...” Ende trailed off as he flashed a weak smile.
Hmm...
Ney probably wanted to get married out of her perceived rivalry with Ende, while Lycee was just going with the flow.
“So you’d be fine with the two of them, then?”
“Yeah, I would. I might have a couple concerns, but luckily, I can see you’re doing just fine in your own marriage. By the way... take care of Elze, yeah? She’s not the kind of girl to be upfront with her feelings, but it’s easy to tell when she’s down.”
What the...? When’d you become her big brother figure, huh?! Sure, you’re fellow pupils, but did you guys get that close already?!
“Before you got married, she was really stressed. I basically got used as a punching bag because of how riled up she was! Shouldn’t she have been beating on you instead, man?”
“A-Aha... Whoops...”
I didn’t think Elze had been relieving her stress like that. She was the kind of girl who easily showed when she was worried, so I thought I’d been on the ball with her problems... Apparently not. Well, either way, Ende was in the same position as Elze once was. He’d be a member of an extended marriage with one spouse in the middle, essentially.
“So, uh... when we get married, we’ll probably want to have a similar ceremony to yours. In style, rather than size. That means similar food, of course...”
“Oh...”
Now I get it.
Melle and her fellow Phrase girls were quite fond of the food in this world. They’d certainly chowed down at my wedding. The three of them ate enough for thirty. Hell, they could put away more between them than Yae, of all people. And that was no small feat! I didn’t want to think about the kind of bills Ende must have been footing.
Melle and the girls worked part-time here and there, but Ende was a fully-fledged adventurer. He was probably pulling in better pay than me, all things considered.
“I don’t mind helping out with food, but brides don’t traditionally pig out at the ceremony... You don’t think this whole wedding thing could just be an excuse, do you?”
“Yeah... To be honest, I’m a little suspicious myself. They might just want an excuse to eat really well for a day.”
“That’s not the case. It’s a conclusion we all came to after giving the situation proper thought. Please don’t cast aspersions upon the girls, Endymion. Neither should you cast aspersions upon me.”
I turned around and saw Melle standing there with her hands on her hips. She was pouting a little... Apparently, she’d been eavesdropping for a while.
Her ice-blue eyes, which were the same color as her dazzling hair, were narrowed toward Ende’s face. They glowed with an ephemeral light.
“M-Melle?! What’re you here for?!”
“I’ve come to take you home. Are you done with your friend?”
“Oh uh, yeah... Touya said he’ll sort the food out for us.”
At Ende’s apprehensive words, Melle’s face lit up like a lamp. She was positively beaming.
“Thank goodness! Oh Touya, thank you so very much! I’d like extra helpings of the meat and dessert dishes, please!”
“Oh, okay... I’ll be sure to remember that...”
I had a feeling that her measure for extra helpings was probably a lot more than mine. The number of guests would definitely be smaller, but if all three brides planned on dining, we’d need more food than we’d had at my wedding. I made a mental note to ask Lu to come up with a meal that wouldn’t stain any wedding dresses.
“I’ll take him from here, Touya. Keep an eye out for the wedding invitation! Come along, Endymion.“
“Oh, uh, yup. Sorry, Touya. Can’t keep the lady waiting, right? Let’s get a drink again some other time.”
“Uh, sure... why not.”
Ende left the tavern with Melle... Though honestly, it looked more like she was dragging him. As I looked over the food and drink he’d left behind, I heaved a small sigh.
Ende’s getting married, huh? Can’t say I saw that coming.
Part of me wondered if Karen had been abusing her powers as the love goddess again.
Let me think... The people that caught the bouquets at our wedding... There was Ende, the kid-king from Palouf, Lanz from the knight order... and I think Will? Was he working with Belfast’s knights? Oh, and Prince Robert, too, the pumpkin pants guy.
Perhaps Karen had used her powers to ensure those guys got the bouquets... But Robert and the prince of Palouf were already engaged, so that seemed pointless.
“Hum? Touya? Drinking alone, are we?”
“Oh, it’s you...”
I turned toward the familiar voice. Just as I’d expected, it was a red-haired girl with a little red Gollem toddling behind her.
She was the leader of the Red Cats, a group of phantom thieves. It was none other than Nia and her companion, Rouge.
Her deputy leader, Est, walked over as well. I looked again and noticed a whole entourage of Red Cats members with them. Euni and Euri were there, even. They all had dirty, ragged clothing, but that was countered by the bright smiles on their faces.
“Hey, barkeep! Bring out enough booze and dragonsteak for the lot of us! Tonight, we feast!”
“Hah. Someone’s feeling luxurious. Got a little extra cash today?”
Dragon meat was quite rare, so it came at a similarly high price. And obviously the meals made from that meat were even more expensive. That said, this tavern was directly owned and operated by the guild, so the prices were cheaper than in other places. I was also their meat supplier, and I let them have it in bulk.
However, that still didn’t make the food cheap, especially not for so many people.
“We found more treasure on those dungeon islands. Two chests that were completely untouched! They were filled to the brim with spellstones and gold! It’s a good feeling when you hit paydirt like that,” the ponytailed girl, Euni, beamed with pride as she spoke. I was impressed.
Most of the treasures on the dungeon islands were long-lost remnants of the mages who created the place, but some of the treasures were also stuff left behind by ill-equipped adventurers who went in and died.
The monsters of the dungeons would strip the belongings from the adventurers, then store them in places like treasure chests. Some would even sort the items into categories, like by weapon or armor, or by shininess.
Sometimes you could find rare or unusual stuff like enchanted items or unique blades, but every now and then, you bumped into a chest some monster had designated for “shiny things,” which was filled to the brim with glittering treasure.
“...I guess if you think about it, you guys are kind of like graverobbers, huh?”
“Don’t be a dumbass. We’re a band of thieves! Chivalrous phantom thieves! This is simply another way for us to make money. If you see any corrupt merchants, politicians, or nobles... let me know! We’ll gladly fill our coffers with their life savings!” Nia chuckled with all her might as she spoke. I just decided to ignore what she said, given that I was the ruler of our country.
She promised she wouldn’t have her thieves running any operations within Brunhild, but that didn’t rule out other countries... And frankly, that concerned me.
Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I noticed a person walking over toward us from the entrance to the tavern.
“Oh my... is that little Nia? And my precious Tou... Goodness, are we having a party?”
“Beep.”
It was a woman in a traditional-looking purple dress, wearing glasses with purple frames. Standing by her side was another little Gollem that bore a striking resemblance to Rouge.
The woman was Luna Trieste, the former Frenzied Mistress. And the little Gollem was the purple crown, Fanatic Viola.
“Ugh. Purple. What’re you doing here? Buzz off, already!”
“So mean... I worked late today, so I came here for dinner, you silly little dear. The food’s cheap, and the drink is delectable. Where else would I go?”
Nia scowled over at Luna, attempting to shoo her away in a manner one might apply to a pesky animal. Luna, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care. She took a seat opposite me, in the spot Ende had just been. Viola took the seat next to her.
...Wait, why’d you sit at my table?
“What’s she doing free, anyway? It’s not too late to put her in a jail cell, Touya. Or, you know... a grave?”
“So cruel, little Nia! I’ll have you know that Tou gave me a very naughty punishment... No, I suppose it might even be considered a reward... Hehehehe...”
“You disgust me.”
Luna smiled, her body shuddering ever-so-slightly with what resembled residual pleasure. Nia just ignored it, so I did the same thing.
“My life’s purpose is to help guide the next generation... I love working with children. I can’t live without helping people out too... It’s like I’m addicted. That’s why I often work so late, you know? I can’t stop doing good deeds...”
“...That’s gotta be a lie, purple,” Nia scowled over at Luna, who seemed positively in a daze, as she said that. Contrary to her words, though, I felt that Luna was telling the truth... Probably.
I’d cursed her to derive pleasure from the appreciation of others, instead of the twisted pleasure she used to get from suffering. She couldn’t even hurt or kill others anymore. She wasn’t exactly harmless, but she was... better than before at least. Viola was also unable to tap into its crown abilities.
“Touuu... Are you drinking alone? Oh my... Oh goodness... Did they kick you out of the castle? Are you getting a divorce? Do you need Mommy Luna to—”
“I don’t need anything like that!”
Leave me alone, lady! I just got married! Don’t say weird stuff like that, especially not in the middle of a tavern!
“Pfft. Purple might have a point. Did you do something that annoyed your wives? Hassle some of the maids, maybe? Or maybe you walked in on someone changing, like when—”
“That’s enough! Stop talking!”
I hurriedly shut Nia up before she got carried away and said something stupid. It was true that I once accidentally used [Teleport] and ended up peeping on Nia getting changed, but that was an honest mistake!
Ugh... If she tells the whole story here, there’s no doubt all these gruff Red Cat guys’ll pile on me and try to kick my ass! Ghhh... I just wanted to enjoy a nice, relaxing evening!
Dammit, this place is getting way too rowdy! I’m out!
I quickly asked the barkeep to hand me my bill.
Wait, this isn’t... Shit! Ende, you asshole! You left without paying your share!
I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose. It had been one hell of a day.
? ?
A few days after I learned about Ende’s upcoming marriage, I was called upon by a certain someone. Who, might you ask? Well...
“...I’m sorry to turn to you for help so suddenly, but without you, we may well be doomed.”
The person in front of me was none other than the first princess of Refreese, Reliel Rehm Refreese herself. We’d received a message from her via the gate mirror in the castle, and once I’d finished reading it, I decided we’d better go to Refreese castle immediately.
I brought Yumina and Linze with me, since the two of them were the closest to Princess Reliel out of all my wives.
“What exactly happened, Rili? You look scarily pale...”
Belfast and Refreese had been allies for a great many years, so it was only natural for Yumina to be worried about the state of Reliel. They’d been friends since childhood. And Yumina was right, Reliel looked pale as a ghost. I wondered what was wrong. I also wondered whether she’d object to me casting [Recovery] and [Refresh] on her.
“It’s been taken...”
“Hm? What has?”
“My smartphone!”
Huh?! Someone stole her phone?!
Doc Babylon had mass-produced rudimentary smartphones using mine as a base, and I’d passed them out to friends and members of foreign royalty. Naturally, I’d given one to Princess Reliel as well, but it seemed like it’d been stolen. I wasn’t entirely surprised to learn that, in all honesty. Word had gotten out about the smartphones, and they were regarded as extremely rare magical artifacts. The fact that I hadn’t seen the princess in any of our group chats for a while made a lot more sense after learning that.
“Th-That’s okay, Princess. Even if your phone’s been stolen, Touya can just summon it back. We can get it back in no time! Isn’t that right, Touya?”
“R-Really?” Linze’s words prompted Reliel’s pale visage to perk up a bit.
She was right, of course. I had a failsafe in place on all the mass-produced smartphones. Through a combination of [Teleport] and [Apport], they’d all been enchanted so that I could recall them to me at any time.
“Yep. Really. I’ll summon it right off,” I said as I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my notes. Each mass-produced smartphone had its own unique serial ID. I could specify the ID of the phone I wanted to summon, and it’d return to my hand. If the phone was destroyed, it wouldn’t work, but we were operating on the assumption that it was a thief who’d stolen it for its value.
Let’s see... Reliel’s serial code... Hmm...
“Oh, thank goodness... When Father took my phone, I was so worried. I thought I’d—”
“...Hold up. Your dad took it?” I asked as I glanced up from my phone and raised a brow.
“That’s right! I was playing around with it during an important ceremony, and he took it away from me! I was booored, so it’s not my fault that I had to tune out their droning, is it?”
“...Isn’t that just you getting what you deserved, then? I shouldn’t take it back from him...”
“Wh-Whaaat?!”
Gimme a break... It wasn’t stolen, so I can’t just warp it back from your dad on a whim! You can’t call on me for your selfish needs willy-nilly! What was that crap about us all being doomed, huh?! Only one doomed here is you!
“Noooooo! You can’t just abandon me like that! There’s a draft for my next book on there. If Father sees it, it’ll be the end of me!”
“Uh... Don’t you have a lock on your phone?”
“Sure, but it’s just a number lock! He could figure it out!”
Hrmm... I guess... I don’t know if the emperor of Refreese is the kind of man to peek at his daughter’s phone, but there’s also a chance he might snoop if he’s wondering why she was on her phone during a ceremonial event.
“What book were you working on...?”
“It was the next one in the Order of the Rose series. It’s a more hardcore volume this time around, with two brusque knight captains reprimanding and punishing the newest recruit...”
“I’ve heard enough. I didn’t think you were still writing that series, though...”
It was a huge secret, but the first princess of Refreese was actually an acclaimed writer. For the most part, she wrote about... well... love... A certain kind of love, specifically. Rough love. Between men. Her novels were very popular among a certain audience. Linze happened to be a huge fan, in fact.
“If my father reads my drafts, he’ll definitely send me away to a convent... They’ll demand I purify my thoughts by praying to the spirits day in and day out! What a horrible life...”
“...Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if your thoughts got a little purified.”
Might even be a net positive... Her content’s pretty extreme. Ugh... I’m the ruler of all the spirits, too... She’s contaminating my purity just by sticking around me.
There was the option to remotely wipe all the data from the phone, like an emergency killswitch. However, when I brought that up with her, she glared daggers right into me.
“No waaay! Do you know how many months of work went into writing that stuff?! I don’t even have it printed yet! If I lost everything, I’d just about die!”
“Oh, uh... sorry.”
I shrunk back a little when she started yelling at me. Reliel was pretty scary... Not exactly the picture you’d associate with a princess, honestly. Unfortunately, this world didn’t have desktop PCs, so it was impossible to save backups of digital data. The only way to save your stuff was to use the printers that I’d handed out to various countries.
For the most part, it was impossible to accidentally lose your data, but you could easily hold the back key too long and erase too much text by mistake. I’d done that a couple of times, myself. For a writer, losing your writing just before completion was probably the worst thing imaginable. Though, I had a feeling Doc Babylon could probably recover data that had been erased at least semi-recently.
“Why not apologize to your father and ask him to return it before he has the chance to look?”
“Well... I could... He already said he’d give it back. There’s just one condition...”
Yumina’s comment made Reliel frown. She glanced off to the side with a little sigh.
What? He was gonna give it back the whole time? Then why even call us?
“Yumina, you know how you got married? After the wedding, Father kept saying that he wants to see some grandchildren... He’s decided it’s time I got married, you see...”
“Huh? But didn’t you have a fiance already? Or did I just hear wrong? That’s what the emperor said a while back, at least...”
As I casually spoke, Yumina suddenly turned toward me with a mortified look on her face. Had I said something wrong?
“...I did have a fiance, yes, but he fell in love with someone else and eloped with her,” Princess Reliel spoke quietly, a sobering tone overwhelming her voice.
Oh... Crap...
Part of me respected the idea that he’d left a princess for the sake of love, but... seeing the victim of a decision like that up close gave me some seriously mixed feelings. Apparently he was the son of a Belfastian marquis, and he got into a lot of trouble for what he did. Seemed like he was all out of options, though. With it being a political marriage, he could hardly opt out without getting his family’s consent. It sounded pretty rough.
It was bad for the guy, bad for his family, and bad for the royals... so he ended up fleeing the country with the girl and was apparently never seen again.
“Pssh. It’s no big deal! I didn’t really like him that much, and getting married would’ve been a waste of time! It’s no problem at all!” Princess Reliel laughed heartily, but her eyes didn’t reflect her tone. She looked immensely sad, as if the incident had left a lasting impression on her. I wondered if she took her writing so seriously as a form of escapism, or something.
Princess Reliel, who’d apparently begun muttering something quietly, turned to Linze and Yumina with a somber expression.
“Is it good, being married? It’s not that great, right? You can’t be that happy...”
“We’re extremely happy!” replied both girls in unison.
“Grrrr!” Reliel growled, then threw a little fit upon seeing the immediate, cheery response from the duo.
G-Geez... You love it that much, huh? I-I’m glad they’re feeling confident and all, but I still have a lot of newlywed jitters.
“What kind of person’s the best match for you, anyway...? Do you need to pair up with a noble or a royal?”
“Uhm, I don’t think my father would mind if I married an adventurer or a merchant, so long as he had a secure future. But it’s hard to say for sure, really. When politics come into play, it’s never easy to judge intentions. I suppose I could get married to a nobleman from Belfast or Lihnea... Oh, what about your brother, Yumina?”
“No. Not Yamato.”
“Oh, o-okay then...” Reliel just about froze up and backed up out of fear in response to Yumina’s glare. She was smiling, but there was nothing friendly about her gaze. Frankly, I could understand why. There was a twenty-year age gap, for one... so it wasn’t like Yamato would have any say in it... But if Prince Yamato were to grow up and fall for her on his own, that’d be another matter entirely. Though, that would make her related to me through my marriage to Yumina... Didn’t exactly know how to feel about that.
“Well, I’m sure Father will hold some kind of formal ball and have the children of relevant nobles attend... I’ll be in attendance, of course... With my smartphone being held hostage, there’s little else I can do!” Reliel let out a heavy sigh, slumping down in a nearby chair. She sure didn’t seem all that pleased.
“B-But maybe you’ll meet someone there? You never know.”
“Hrmm... I doubt it. I don’t think it’ll work out well. Besides, I can’t just trust anyone with my secret. What if they find out?”
The princess formed a small pout, grumbling softly to herself. I didn’t really know what to say. Still, she had no choice in the matter. She had to attend the matchmaking party or she wouldn’t get her phone back.
“Wait, why don’t you talk to my father? You could explain that I’m sorry and ask him to return my phone.”
“Hrmm... I don’t feel good about lying, though.”
“It wouldn’t be a lie! I am sorry! Kinda.”
You are not. That “kinda” speaks for itself. Well, whatever... Maybe I can just ask him...
“Goodness me... What a precarious situation. Did my daughter put you up to this, Touya?”
“No, of course not... Hahahah...”
Shit. Busted already.
I came to speak with the emperor on Reliel’s behalf, but he saw right through me. Apparently, he hadn’t looked through her phone yet, as he suspected his daughter of sending text messages to someone during the ceremony.
I’d left Yumina and Linze behind with Reliel. I felt that was fine, since there was no harm in them talking. Plus, Reliel had asked me for ideas for her new book, so I figured getting out of there was the safest decision.
“I fear for my daughter, Touya. If she doesn’t decide on a husband soon, she’ll become a spinster before long...”
Isn’t she only like twenty or something? If you said that back on Earth, people would laugh at you.
The emperor held Reliel’s smartphone in his hand, looking it over.
“You’ll have to forgive me, but I really can’t return this to her. If she keeps getting distracted by this thing, she won’t ever find herself a suitable partner. And if that happens, she may well be all alone once Redis gets married.”
The emperor leaned back into the couch and let out a soft sigh. Redis was the crown prince, which made him next in line to be emperor. His full name was Redis Reek Refreese, and he was around thirteen. Unlike his sister, Redis was already engaged. His fiancee was princess Thea Frau Mismede, who was around twelve.
Apparently, Refreese was more progressive than I had realized. Not a single noble had rejected the idea of a beastman marrying into their royal line.
Refreese was mostly bordered by water, so it was a maritime nation that prospered on trade. It wasn’t quite as old as Belfast, but it still had a storied history. Naturally, they’d dealt with many different ethnicities along the course of this history. And it seemed the royal family had the blood of many races flowing through it, so culturally speaking, they didn’t see it as strange or impure for a beastman to join their ranks.
If anything, there’d have been more of an issue if she was a commoner, but she was a princess, so all was well. The marriage was deemed advantageous for both the established nation of Refreese and the blossoming nation of Mismede, so it was a mutually beneficial arrangement.
Honestly, Refreese might have actually been one of the most diverse nations in the world... The people living there certainly seemed happy enough. Plus, it had a special kind of cheer to it. I could definitely see that merry spirit reflected in the emperor himself. But I think that idea, that so long as you were having fun, everything was okay, might have manifested a little too intensely in the princess. And from what I’d heard, her brother was the complete opposite. He was supposedly a quiet, studious boy.
“When is your son getting married to Princess Thea?”
“Ah... Three years from now at the latest, I imagine. I’ll abdicate when he’s around twenty, I think. The king of Belfast just had a son, so he won’t be ready for retirement by then, but I’ll be able to live up my old age with Emperor Regulus.”
...Really? Old age? You’re like forty, aren’t you? Isn’t that more middle age?
“At any rate... I need to put together some kind of marriage arrangement for my daughter. I was thinking of a party, but maybe a one-on-one would do... Do you know any eligible young men?”
“Hrmm... I’m not sure...”
Suddenly, a flash of inspiration came to mind.
“Wait. Does it have to be a noble or a royal?”
“I don’t personally care about his origin, so long as he can make her happy and takes proper care of her. That said, her marriage is still an important card to play for the interests of the nation. Our noble families likely wouldn’t allow her to marry someone who doesn’t have anything to offer Refreese.”
Hrmm... That complicates things... Wait, I just realized... aren’t I gonna have eight or more daughters? Am I gonna have to worry about this kinda thing too? What if one of my daughters wants to marry a commoner or an adventurer... Is that gonna be a problem? Nah, I don’t think so. Noble, adventurer, doesn’t matter to me. So long as he’s a good person, it’s fine. If he has ill intent, I won’t forgive him... If he’s not good enough for her, I’ll kick his ass... Whoa... Holy shit. Is that how the overlord of Xenoahs feels about Sakura? Hm... Wait, that reminds me. The first prince of Xenoahs is single, right? He’s Sakura’s half-brother... so that might be fine? Wait, I think he’s a bit of a meathead, though... There’s also Zanbelt from the Lassei Kingdom... I remember he got his ass kicked by Uncle Takeru. Wait. That guy’s a meathead, too... Are they the only guys left?
“You don’t have any brothers, do you, Touya?”
“Uhhh... I don’t think so...?”
“You don’t think so? I won’t pry any further...”
The emperor stared at me with a raised brow, but he said nothing else. He probably assumed my dad slept around a lot or something. I didn’t bother to correct him, either way. I wasn’t sure if I’d get any more gods coming down, or any pretending to be my brothers... so I couldn’t say for sure.
“I have no other choice, then. I’ll just have to host some kind of blind date. But I’m not entirely sure where to start... Maybe all the eligible partners are already taken...”
“Well... the Reverse Worl—Er, the western continent might have some bachelors available. You’re connected to one of their countries by the land now, right?”
“Quite right you are! Perhaps Panaches can lend us a hand.”
Refreese and Panaches (the pumpkin-pants-prince’s country) were joined by a land bridge when the two worlds merged. I’d helped smooth along discussions between the two, establish borders, that kind of stuff. The king of Panaches was a very friendly guy, so I had no doubt he’d be willing to lend his aid.
“If the prince of Panaches didn’t have a fiancee, I’d have proposed Reliel take that role... What a shame... Alas, that’s how these things go sometimes.”
...Really? Now that’s an... interesting pairing. Might have even worked out, considering how weird the two of them are. Shame Prince Robert’s engaged, honestly. Though his fiancee is a nice girl... Frankly, I think she’s too good for him, but I’m not gonna judge if they’re happy. Oh, maybe I can speak to the Strain royalty about this, actually... They might know some guys.
“Hmm... Yes, I quite like the idea of an east-west marriage party. I think every participating nation could get something out of it.”
“Yeah, I just hope people treat it with a focus on the bachelors and bachelorettes, instead of an average political event.”
If the matchmaking becomes secondary to international networking, I won’t be happy... The focus should be on finding partners that mesh well, rather than worrying about stuff like international relations.
“Then...” chimed Karen, “Why don’t we make it a masquerade, you know? I think it’ll be more interesting and authentic if they all wear masks, you know?!”
“Oh, I see! Yes! Then it won’t matter who the person is on the other side, because they won’t be recognizable.”
“Alright, a masquerade... That’s definitely a great idea. I’ll be able to prepare the masks for it, so that’s fine. Oh, Emperor Refreese, as for the venue... Wait, hold on. Karen, when did you get here?”
I slowly craned my head to the left and saw that my idiotic sister was inexplicably sitting next to me. She was also sipping my tea.
“If something interesting is afoot, it’s my time to shine! That’s what Mochizuki Karen’s all about, you know?”
“You dumbass!”
Don’t just wink at me, asshole! Explain yourself! You’re supposed to be in Brunhild, so what’re you doing warping into a foreign nation’s castle?! That’s not a good look from an international relations standpoint!
I groaned before turning and bowing to the emperor.
“I’m really sorry... Please forgive my sister for just barging in here!”
“No, I... It’s fine... If anything, I’m just a bit confused as to how she actually got here. The castle’s supposed to be warded against teleportation techniques... Are my court mages perhaps lacking?”
Shoot, I hope we didn’t just get someone fired. I’m sure the wards are enough to block all kinds of regular magic, but people like Karen and Moroha aren’t exactly using those spells... Their divine existence allows them to use their own special ability to get around... It’s not rooted in magic, so it bypasses stuff like wards...
“I’ll make sure this never happens again, honest! It’s just a quirk of hers!”
“You sure seem apologetic, you know? Everything okay, Touya?”
“Obviously not! Who do you think I’m apologizing for?!”
Stop chowing down on cookies while I’m apologizing for potentially causing an international incident!
“W-Well, she is your sister, so... I’m sure it’s fine... Now, back to the matter at hand. How many people do you think we might be able to gather for this ball?”
“If we use Touya’s connections, we can probably gather quite a few people from both continents, you know? Then, we can have the kids get to know each other at the ball. If two of them hit it off, we’ll make a little system where pictures of their real faces can be exchanged and they can come together for a follow-up date, you know?”
...My connections? What connections? I only really know the world leaders, so I guess I can start there, but it’s not like I immediately know eligible folks...
“Hmm... I’m not quite as well-connected as Touya here, but I should be able to ask a few fellow monarchs for their aid. I shall draw up the invitations at once... I suppose I’ll be quite busy for a while,” Emperor Refreese smiled warmly as he said that, perhaps because he felt his daughter’s problems were about to be solved at last.
We finished up, and apparently Reliel was allowed to have her phone back on the condition that she attended the ball. I was honestly a little worried about her prospects... She was a special kind of eccentric, so she needed to find an equally unique guy.
In the meantime, I decided to focus on figuring out attendees. Fortunately, I knew a few folks in Brunhild who’d be interested in the idea. We didn’t have nobles in my country, but I didn’t see the harm in inviting a few knights and other interesting commonfolk to the party.
Hmm... Maybe this masquerade won’t be so bad after all. It’s not like I’ll be forcing anyone to attend, at least.
? ?
“And that’s that...” I said as I finished stacking up the last mask and disengaged my [Modeling] spell. There were lots of different masks to choose from, but in the end, I went with the typical domino style, which covered half your face. It was the kind you either associated with phantom thieves or dominatrixes, depending on the situation.
Apparently, the name of the game of dominoes was actually derived from these masks, but that wasn’t exactly an important detail or anything.
I’d used my phone to look up various designs, then set to work making some different ones. There were animal-style ones that resembled cats or birds, some were decorated with feathered plumes, some of them were simple monochrome designs, and some were unnecessarily flashy.
They weren’t just regular masks, either. Each and every one of them came with specialized functions to anonymize the wearer. After all, it would be easy enough to identify someone by their voice even if you couldn’t see their face... That was why I made sure they all had voice-modifying functions enabled by default.
I also decided to make fake animal ears and tails for the venue, to make it impossible to know whether you were talking to an authentic beastman or not. It was all shaping up to be a real anonymous masquerade.
I tossed all the masks into [Storage] and headed out into the prep area. When I got there, I found several tailors from Fashion King Zanac making their final adjustments to the tuxedos and formalwear to be used for the party.
“Ah, Your Highness. I’ve finished drilling some manners into the men. Taught them some basic etiquette and whatnot, so they should get by well enough,” Vice-Commander Nikola said that as he approached me. He was part of one of the biggest mercantile families in all of Mismede, so this kind of event wasn’t too unfamiliar for him. It was his first time at an actual masquerade, though. He looked pretty good in his black tux, and his foxy ears looked just a bit more well-groomed than usual.
It was a bit rough figuring out Brunhild’s attendees, since so many people wanted in on it. That was why I’d asked Nikola to participate in the ball to keep everyone unified. I couldn’t exactly participate in this one personally like I did during the knight recruitment exam, after all.
Nikola was tough, though. He was treating this like any other combat excursion. In a way, maybe I was wrong to deploy such a fearsome force of politeness and propriety...
“Maybe you’ll find yourself a partner tomorrow, huh?”
“Ah... I’m really trying my best not to think about anything like that... I’ll mostly be keeping my attention on ensuring that Brunhild isn’t made an international disgrace.”
Nikola was quite popular among the maids who worked in the castle. That wasn’t too surprising, given his capable skills and his well-established position in our military. He was a little bit too serious, though... He never quite smiled too often, but apparently that just added to his charm and mystique. I swear, women were hard to understand.
“How’re the girls doing?”
“Fairly fine, I’m sure. Take a look at the picture Nore just sent me,” Nikola said as he held out his smartphone and showed me an image on the screen. What I saw was a picture of Commander Lain in a beautiful white dress. The image had a translucent black bar covering it with the text, “Look at how cute Lain is!” on it. She was the very picture of a white bunny.
“I’m a little concerned, honestly... Hopefully nobody messes anything up at the party.”
“It’ll be fine, Nikola... Just keep a close eye on Nore and Lain, especially. If you can recognize them, at least...”
The masks inhibited facial recognition, but if you knew what a person was wearing beforehand, you’d at least be able to track them based on that. At the very least, attendees from the same country would probably know who their fellow nationals were.
The female participants from Brunhild were Lain, Nore, head guardswoman Rebecca, our intel trio (Homura, Shizuku, Nagi), and Lakshy the Alraune demonkin. Tsubaki was invited, but she’d declined. Said she didn’t want to stand out.
I hoped that everyone would have a good time, romantic prospects aside. Though, that actually worried me, a little... What if someone important ended up falling for someone at the party? They’d have to leave Brunhild! Although, if it was a second or third child of a smaller noble family, they could probably drag him over here...
It’d be sad to see anyone go, but if they really fell for someone, I’d see them off with a smile. Better they live a happy life elsewhere than one pining for what-ifs in Brunhild.
The event itself was rapidly approaching... All I had to do was sit back and hope that nothing would go disastrously wrong!
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