That Warm, Soggy, Cloudy Something With Shana Reiji
“A hot spring! It’s a hot spring, Reiji-kun!”
“Well, I’ll be monkey’s uncle… It really is…”
One day after Reiji’s troupe had left Camellia and was crossing the mountains a couple dozen kilometers away from the city walls, they discovered a hot spring.
As the first one to find it, Mizuki’s eyes were sparkling. She was ecstatic. But that was understandable. The Kingdom of Astel didn’t have much of a bathing culture, and ever since coming to this world, she hadn’t had a proper bath. Japanese through and through, she yearned for this kind of opportunity. There was nothing better than a natural hot spring.
“I’m going in! I want a bath! I’m definitely going in!”
Just for this moment, she was being obstinate. Mizuki raised hell and absolutely would not yield. Watching this scene unfold, Titania spoke up as she skeptically eyed the steaming water.
“M-Mizuki, are you saying you intend to enter that? This hot water that looks so soggy and cloudy?”
“Pfft!”
Hearing the sense of peril in Titania’s voice, Reiji unintentionally laughed a little. She meant well, sure, but hearing her say “soggy” and “cloudy” just got to him. And while Reiji was trying to hold it in, Mizuki stared at Titania in puzzlement.
“That’s right. Is there a problem?”
“A problem? Well, um, you see…”
Just what was Titania thinking as she started mumbling to herself?
Ah…
Seeing the way she was reacting, something occurred to Reiji. It wasn’t that the people of the Kingdom of Astel didn’t know about bathing. It was just a custom that had ground to a near complete halt after a wave of widespread disease in the past. Thanks to that, the association of bathing and filth had been ingrained into their cultural imagination. And Titania was no exception. Someone else in their party, however, seemed to realize the same thing.
“I am sure that Her Highness the Princess feels no small amount of resistance to entering such hot water surging out of nowhere.”
As support in their quest to subjugate the Demon Lord, Reiji and the girls had a select group of knights with them. Among them was Gregory, the oldest and most experienced of the lot. While scratching his chin, he tried to articulate the princess’s hesitation to the others. Seeing Titania shudder at the unknown, Mizuki held up a clenched fist and shouted to the sky.
“It’s too far behind… This world is too far behind!”
“I-I do at least know of bathing. It is a custom in Noshias. However, it is said that bathing is terrible for your health…”
“It’s alright. It’s been proven in our world that bathing is actually good for you.”
“Ah, if I’m not mistaken, civilization in Hero-dono’s world is quite developed, is it not?”
That was when Roffrey, the youngest among the knights accompanying them, spoke up too.
“Be that as it may…”
But Titania was still unconvinced. At times like this, Reiji found it truly frustrating not to be able to explain with the language of science.
“But… I suppose Mizuki is getting in nonetheless?”
“I sure am!”
In complete contrast to Mizuki’s energetic reply, Titania’s expression only became grimmer.
“Actually, I’m thinking of maybe taking a dip myself.”
“You too, Reiji-sama?! Are you saying that you also intend to yield your body to this suspicious, hot, muddy liquid?!”
“Like I’ve been saying, Tia…”
Why was she so opposed to it? The water didn’t even look muddy. Reiji didn’t really care all that much that she was exaggerating, but he thought she could do a better job choosing her words.
“…Understood…”
As if steeling herself, Titania’s grim expression stiffened. Seeing her so terror-stricken, Mizuki called out to her in concern.
“Tia, you don’t have to force yourself to go in, you know? You should only do it if you want to.”
“No! This is a trial that has been presented to me. I must surmount it.”
“Just what kind of trial is this, exactly…?”
It seemed that she was being urged on by something inexplicable. She then suddenly approached Reiji while blushing furiously.
“R-Reiji-sama, um… could you perhaps teach me the ways of bathing?”
In response to her pleading voice, Reiji was left completely dumbstruck for a spell. So was Mizuki. After several long moments, the first one to come back to her senses was Mizuki, and she drew nearer to Titania, who had made the offending statement.
“Wait! What are you saying, Tia?! Do you plan on going in together?!”
“There’s no other way, Mizuki. I have never once taken a bath before. As such, I truly do not know of the proper etiquette. In that case, it would be quickest to hear? No, to have Reiji-sama teach it to me firsthand. There’s no other way.”
“No, um, about that…”
Seeing Reiji panic, Titania dealt the final blow with upturned eyes.
“It’s fine, is it not?! Reiji-sama!”
“Can’t Mizuki do it?!”
“I want you to teach me, Reiji-sama!”
“That’s, um… Is that right?”
The short of it was that Titania had to get in the bath with someone. Reiji naturally looked to Mizuki, but she looked incensed and was trying to convey her anger with an intimidating stare right back at him.
“G-Gregory-san, won’t you say something?”
“If Her Highness wishes it, I cannot do anything to stop her.”
“Exactly, that’s what I… WAIT, WHAT?!”
Being abandoned by the senior-most member of their group, Reiji couldn’t help shouting. Desperate for a lifeline, Reiji then turned to the knight who was easiest to talk to.
“Th-Then, Roffrey…?”
“Huh? Me? To me, um… For a man and woman to go in together is…”
Just as he was about to give his opinion, Titania glared cold, piercing daggers at him.
“…It’s fine! Perfectly fine! Glory to the hero Reiji!”
“Weren’t you just about to say it was a bad idea?! You were, weren’t you?! Why did you change your tune?!”
It seemed the male knights couldn’t be relied on. Reiji then turned to a female knight named Luka.
“L-Luka-san! What about you?!”
“Hmm? Hero-dono, what is the matter?”
As for Luka, she had already begun taking off her armor and clothes. Nothing inappropriate was revealed, but without her gear on, her splendid proportions were quite obvious.
“Oh man… Wait, Luka-san, why are you stripping?!”
“I thought that I would also like to take a bath.”
“But we still haven’t decided on who’s going in when!”
“Can’t everyone just go in at once?”
“You want mixed bathing?!”
“Is there some sort of problem with that?”
As they carried on, Luka continued to disrobe. Then, without warning…
Boooing!
“?!”
Looking straight at Luka’s breasts as they spilled out, Reiji was immediately overcome.
“R-Reiji-kun! Don’t look!”
“L-L-L-L-Luka! Put away those dangerous goods at once!”
Mizuki covered Reiji’s eyes with both her hands, and Titania barked out a panicked order. Poor Luka, however, airhead that she was, had no clue what Titania was referring to.
“Dangerous goods? But I just disarmed myself. I don’t have anything else like that on me…”
“You do! You definitely do! Two sweet fruits like dangerous, tempting monsters, right there on your chest!”
In the end, thanks to all the commotion, no one ended up getting in the hot spring before that evening.
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