A Drunk Mizuki
After departing from the royal capital of Metel in the Kingdom of Astel, Reiji and the others crossed the national border and arrived in the Nelferian Empire. Upon reaching the imperial lands, they immediately chose an inn. Short Mizuki and Luka, the other four members of the group gathered for a meal. Titania sat next to Reiji at the table, clinging to his arm. When the opportunity presented itself, he spoke to her in a somewhat troubled voice.
“Hey, Tia… I feel like you’ve been kind of close for a while now. Look, there are even people staring, so could you maybe give me a little more space?”
“I-Isn’t it fine? We are fellow comrades on a journey; it’s important to build up our intimacy. Moreover, a little physical contact never hurt anyone…”
“A little? It feels like this happens all the time though…”
Seeing that she had no intention of letting go even though she was blushing, Reiji let out a bewildered sigh.
“I want to get along well with you, Reiji-sama. And if I’m to be perfectly honest, I would like to be in a more intimate relationship with you than anybody else.”
“But you’re already a precious friend of mine, Tia.”
It was clear Reiji had missed her meaning, and Titania shook her head emphatically.
“Th-That is not what I mean! It is more, um, how do I put it…?”
“U-Uh… Gregory-san, would you mind saying something?”
Reiji made a request of the most reliable senior knight in the group. Gregory cleared his throat, but then gave an answer Reiji wasn’t expecting.
“It is a wonderful thing for the hero and Her Royal Highness to be on good terms.”
“Hahh…”
Was he not going to help? Gregory just kept nodding repeatedly. Perhaps it was because Titania was by far his social superior. Maybe he felt like he wasn’t in a position to remonstrate her. But now that the most reliable person in their party had let him down, Reiji then looked over to Roffrey.
“I’m envious, Reiji-sama. So much so that if you wanted to fall in the next demon attack, I’d be happy to take your place.”
With green eyes, Roffrey quietly muttered the exact kind of thing Suimei would have said. He looked like he might even cry. But it was around that time that Mizuki and Luka came down the stairs from the second floor where the guest rooms were.
“Heehee, whoopsies!”
“M-Mizuki-dono, keep it together! Please be careful!”
What was going on? Mizuki was in a giddy mood while Luka seemed to be supporting her with all her might. Mizuki’s happy voice said she was perfectly fine, but her unsteady footsteps said something was quite wrong.
“Wh-What’s wrong with you, Mizuki…?”
“Dere’s nothin’ wrong ats all! I’m feelin’ a suuuuuper good now!”
She was completely inarticulate. Seeing her like this, Titania called out to her.
“Mizuki, are you perhaps drunk?”
“I’m naw dronk! I’m naw dronk at all!”
“Just how are you not drunk? Mizuki, you’re completely smashed, aren’t you…?”
Seeing Mizuki’s unbecoming behavior, Reiji put his head in his hands. She was spouting lines just like a drunk in a TV sitcom would, and it made his head hurt more and more. The next person to speak up was Gregory.
“Luka, what is going on here? Why is Mizuki-dono intoxicated?”
“I honestly do not know myself. It’s not like she had any beverages with spirits in them or anything… And as for food, about the only thing she’s eaten was the medohava she received from the innkeep just earlier…”
“Medohava?”
“Yes, but…”
Gregory asked for clarification with a stern face, and when Luka affirmed her statement, his face became even sterner.
“Tia, what’s medohava?”
“Medohava is a popular sweet made by taking honey that was left in the sun, mixing it with wheat flour, and baking it, but?I have heard of this before, I think—when someone who has a low tolerance for wines and spirits eats medohava, they say they may fall into an intoxicated state some hours later.”
“Is that true?! I was not aware of that…”
Luka showed a great deal of surprise upon hearing Titania’s story, and immediately looked over to Mizuki apologetically. Now that he thought about it, Reiji had heard something similar before too. Stories of people getting drunk without imbibing any alcohol. Apparently, they would get drunk when the enzymes in their stomachs got lively, functioning like a mini brewery. In extreme cases, it could even ferment rice that they ate, leading to intoxication. It was a curious claim, but it seemed plausible enough. Perhaps this sweet known as medohava was fermenting within her stomach. Mizuki had a normal constitution, but maybe she didn’t have much of a tolerance for alcohol.
“Glug, glug, glug… Pwaaah!”
“Mizuki, have you calmed down yet?”
After Mizuki gulped down some water and looked completely refreshed, Reiji tried checking to see if she felt better. But for some reason, she just puffed out her cheeks.
“Hmph!”
“Wh-What is the matter?”
Now Titania was concerned too, but Mizuki thrust her finger out at her in return.
“Now, just why are you clinging so close to Reiji-kun, I wonder?”
“N-No particular reason. I just thought that I would get a little closer with Reiji-sama today.”
“Hmph…”
“Wh-What is it…?”
“Nooothing. I just think it’s probably pointless; that’s all.”
“Wh-Why is that?”
“Reiji-kun isn’t into girls who are so pushy-pushy. And if you push him too hard, he may just pull away, you know?”
“I-Is that true, Reiji-sama?!”
“Huh? No, even if we’re talking about me, I have no clue what’s going on…”
“Besides, Reiji-kun is from Planet Boobs, so he won’t really be happy with that modest offering rubbing up against him like that…”
“Dear me… So it’s true after all, Reiji-sama…”
“Y-You’re wrong! Mizuki, what kind of nonsense are you telling her?!”
Reiji denied the accusations loudly, but Mizuki replied with an objection of her own.
“Reiji-kun’s a liar! My friend S.Y.-kun testified to it personally!”
“Es… why-kun…?”
Hearing him referred to by his initials, Titania couldn’t tell who she was talking about. But as for this friend’s identity…
“Aah, what the hell have you been saying, Suimeiiiii?! You idiot!”
As Reiji cursed S.Y.—Suimei Yakagi—who wasn’t present, Mizuki redirected her spearhead at a new target.
“Don’t you think so too, Roffrey-san? That Reiji-kun’s clearly a tits guy.”
“No, I do not particularly think such a?”
“You think so too, don’t you, Roffrey-san?!”
As Mizuki repeated herself in a threatening manner, Roffrey’s attitude completely changed.
“Y-You’re right. It’s just as Mizuki-sama says. It seems to me that Reiji-sama has been looking at nothing but the breasts of woman lately.”
“Hey, Roffrey, what are you saying?! Just now, you were just going to say…”
“Sorry, Reiji-sama. I have been taught that a knight should always be an ally to women.”
With Roffrey’s support, Mizuki suddenly grew more energetic.
“Tits, tits, titties! Do you really like sacks of fat on the chest that much?!”
“Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-You’re wrong! I don’t really!”
“Well then, Reiji-kun, between big boobs and small boobs, which are better?!”
“Th-That’s…”
“You can’t answer, can you?! Reiji-kun, you dummy!”
“B-B-But, I mean, there’s no way I can answer that, right?!”
There was no way he would expose his personal fetishes in front of everyone. But then, Mizuki suddenly reached for the collar of her shirt.
“Whatever! I’m stripping!”
“WH-WHAT?!”
How did it come to this? Paying no heed to Reiji’s surprised shout, Mizuki began taking off her clothes.
“Wait a minute, Mizuki! Stop this at once! Where do you think this is?!”
“Who cares?! I’m gonna show off my charm to that super high-level blockhead right here!”
As Mizuki began wailing and flailing about, Titania and the others tried to stop her from going any further.
“Someone, do something…”
Reiji was at a complete loss. Why was it that the guy who would normally do something in situations like this wasn’t here?
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