Chapter 653
A quiet courtyard, a quiet person . In the quiet chest, there was a similar pain . Minister Fan looked at his silent son, who had his head bent down, with a trace of tenderness and gentleness . After a moment of silence, he quietly asked, "Putting aside Chen Pingping, I'm just asking you . From the moment you decided to personally step into Ten Family Village, presumably you already knew about the matter many years ago . How are you going to deal with it?"
Fan Xian didn't answer . Instead, he asked in response, "When did you realize?"
"Probably after the Jingdou rebellion," Fan Jian said in an even voice with a calm expression . "Even if I thought of it before, I didn't want to think in that direction . After all, the Emperor is the Emperor, and I am his subject . "
"I have been thinking in this direction for a long time," Fan Xian said bitterly . "At that time, I had already guessed my past, but I didn't have a shred of affection for the Emperor . Thinking in that direction, I could accept it emotionally . But…"
He took a great sigh and said in a slightly scratchy voice, "Later, the Emperor was nicer and nicer to me . I was more and more unwilling to think in that direction . Although, I clearly knew, from a long time ago, that, other than him, no one would be able to remove Ye Qingmei from this world . "
"I didn't want to delve in that direction . " Fan Xian's brows were furrowed tightly . "I felt confused for the first time . I had told you that I would not allow anyone to control me and that my determination was powerful enough that I would never be disturbed by external forces . In this matter, I was truly confused . "
He raised his head and glanced at his father helplessly . He then asked for advice, "If you were in my position, what would you do?"
Fan Xian had actually thought about it this problem on the banks of Liujing River and by the large graves . His father should have the authority to speak on this subject . His words should have their own strengths . That was why Fan Xian had come to Ten Family village, come to the Fish Guts of the Qing Kingdom, to calmly listen to his father's advice .
Fan Jian was silent for a long time . He then then looked at him and asked, "You have to ask yourself, how exactly do you regard the Emperor?"
"That depends on how he regards me," Fan Xian replied quickly, presumably he had asked himself this countless times in countless nights .
"And, how does he regard you?" Fan Jian smiled gently . "You don't have to worry about what I think . After all, I grew up with him . Although I feel disappointment and resentment toward him, speaking truthfully, I cannot summon much hatred for him . "
Fan Xian smiled helplessly and sank deep into thought . He had thought a great deal about this matter . Before the Jingdou rebellion, the Emperor probably felt three parts remorse, three parts high regard, and four parts exploitation . After so many people died in the Palace, the Emperor's temperament had changed a great deal .
When he had entered the capital in the spring of the fourth year of the Qing calendar, Fan Xian had to admit that perhaps the Emperor was a harsh and merciless man . But, there was a difference in how he treated him . Even when he was made use of, it was to an acceptable level . If the Emperor still had an iota of affection of the people of this world, then that one iota had landed on Fan Xian's head .
The Emperor treated Fan Xian better than he treated the Crown Prince and Second Prince . And, it goes without saying, better than the poor woman who had sacrificed her youth and reputation for him .
Calmly listening to Fan Xian's words, Fan Jian gently stroked his beard and said with a sigh, "Territory changes easily, but one's nature is difficult to change . The Emperor's nature has become much gentler . In the end, he is a ruler who thinks of the world as his own . We come back to the same words . If how you regard the Emperor depends on how he regards you, but is it not also how the Emperor regards you depends on how you regard him?"
He looked at his young son and said with some worry, "The Emperor treats you differently to everyone else because ever since you entered the capital, you have shown him unswerving loyalty . This is also something I admire about you . Despite your young age, you understand how to hide the things you have guessed and the conflicts in your heart to the point that you have even fooled the Emperor… Once the Emperor suspects that you are not just an official, once he truly begins to doubt your loyalty, there will be a fundamental change in his attitude toward you . "
"Rulers are heartless," Fan Jian reminded him . "Especially since you have so much power in your hands as to be a faint threat to the stability of the Qing Kingdom's throne . If he finds that you have other thoughts, he will certainly use the absolute power in your hands to kill you . "
Fan Xian was silent . He knew what his father said was right . The biggest problem with his plans was that he has still not made up his mind . Regardless of whether he was getting revenge for Ye Qingmei or trying to wipe away what happened in the past and be an honest, fearful, and powerful official by the side of the throne, he had to make up his mind . His uncertainty and hesitation to choose truly appeared wretched .
"This is a difficult problem for anyone to resolve," he said with a bitter smile . He thought that in his previous life, he would probably only find such a dramatic clash and internal conflict in a Shakespeare play . How could he have expected that the drama of the father killing the mother and the son being caught in the middle would actually play out on him?
Fan Jian calmly watched him with a strange gaze . He said, a moment later, "Actually, after Chen Pingping confirmed the matter and I guessed it, he and I considered your problem . We truly did not think that this was a difficult problem to resolve . "
Fan Xian did not quite understand these words .
Fan Jian looked at him . His eyes grew gentler and gentler . He sighed and said, "An Zhi, you are truly a unique individual . Since you had never seen your mother and grew up under the Emperor's care, and the Emperor treated you so well, I had thought that you wouldn't have any deep affection for Xiao Ye . Considering the affection the Emperor has shown to you, even if you knew of the tragic matter, you would probably be unable to summon any hatred toward the Emperor on behalf of your mother . "
Fan Jian couldn't help but shake his head and said, "Sometimes, I really cannot understand you . "
Fan Xian had never seen Ye Qingmei and had not grown up healthily under her care . And, the Emperor had been very good to him .
"The hatred for matricide makes for irreconcilable enemies?" Fan Xian asked quietly in a self-mocking tone . "Of course, you know I did not make a decision because of that reason . "
It was because the aura of Ye Qingmei in this world felt so familiar, close, and intimate to Fan Xian . Perhaps it had nothing to do with their relationship as mother and son . It was just that two similar souls had suddenly come close in this expansive, lively, and strange world .
For Fan Xian, Ye Qingmei was a precedent, another him who had come and left .
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