Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o! - Volume 10 - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

Praise for This Martial Princess! 

1 

The next morning. Iris and I were seeing everyone off in front of the inn. 

“’Kay, then, Kazuma, we’ll see you later. I’m gonna win today; I can feel it. When I had my tea, there was a stalk floating upright in it, and that’s good luck!” 

“I saw you, Aqua. You just kept pouring cups for yourself until you got a lucky stalk in one of them.” 

Aqua was headed to the casino. Megumin was going off on her own; she said there was a place she wanted to find. 

“Kazuma, I’m trusting you with Lady Iris. Much as it irks me, the prince explicitly told me to stay away, so I guess I have to. I’m going to look around town and see if I can find something we can use as leverage.” 

With that, Darkness also headed into town. And then— 

“We will be going as well, then. I swear we’ll get that support money!” 

Iris and I were going to the castle first thing in the morning to make good on yesterday’s promise. 

Darkness beckoned me over. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this, Kazuma. Normally, this sort of thing would be my job, but…” 

“Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it. I told you, I won’t let anyone make Iris unhappy.” 

Darkness nodded seriously at me. 

“I’ll be at the casino, kids. If I hit the jackpot, I’ll buy you a souvenir, Kazuma!” 

Aqua’s remark was like a signal that sent us in our different directions. 

The prince had a little surprise in store for us when we got to the castle. 

“I’m sorry, but what do you mean, ‘en garde’ …?” 

We had been ushered onto a training ground. 

“Why so shocked? As far as I’m concerned, our negotiations ended yesterday. You insist on continuing them, but I don’t see the point.” Then he gestured toward the knights in the training area. “I do, however, love a good melee. If you can beat all my minions here, I’ll hear you out. Fair?” 

“I accept!” Iris said immediately. Then she drew her sword as if it was the most natural thing in the world and stood in front of the prince with a big smile on her face. 

I was supposed to be the bodyguard around here, but apparently, Iris meant to handle this herself. The knights, not expecting this slip of a girl to take up the prince’s challenge, looked startled for just a second, then… 

“Prince Levy, please let me handle this!” 

“No, let me! I’ll teach this smart-mouthed little girl some respect.” 

“Hold on. I’m the weakest member of this brigade. It only makes sense that I should be her first opponent…” 

The knights, miffed by what they saw as mockery from us outsiders, stumbled over themselves to get in the ring. 

The prince smiled indulgently. “Hold your horses, guys… Say, you sure you’re going to be okay? Not going to have your big brother handle this?” He smirked at Iris. 

Iris casually lowered her blade and said, “Don’t worry about me. Elder Brother need not dirty his hands with this affair; I will be more than enough to handle it. Well, everyone? Come at me!” 

That was beyond what the knights could take. She had said “everyone.” And so… 

“Not even one-on-one? I know Belzerg is famous for fighting strength, but I think you underestimate us, Princess.” A man who looked like the knights’ captain spoke to Iris, practically oozing killing intent. 

“I certainly don’t mean to insult you, but… Well, I will take on any number of you at once, and I am prepared to do so at any time.” 

The guy took the bait, and without even waiting for a signal to start, he raised his sword— 

“ Exterion !” 

Iris’s almost casual swipe knocked it clean out of his hands. 

“…Buh?” 

Gee, who said that? 

The laughing, raging knights were stone-still now; you could have heard a pin drop on the training grounds. 

“Iris,” I said, “if you ruin all their swords, this place won’t be much good for training, will it? Here, there’s a dull training blade over there. Use that one.” 

“Oh! You’re absolutely right; I’m so sorry… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to destroy your sword.” She looked genuinely apologetic. 

“What?!” said the guy whose sword she had cut in half. “N-no, uh… Please, don’t bother your royal self about it…?” 

He still didn’t seem to know quite what had happened. 

Everyone watched, troubled, as Iris pattered over to the wall and grabbed the blunt sword. 

“Very well, everyone, you may commence!” 

Her smile covered her whole face. 

“Um… C-could we speak to you now…?” 

“Yes. By all means.” 

The training area was strewn with battered knights. In the middle of it all sat the prince, as meek as a kitten. 

Iris, who didn’t have a drop of sweat on her brow despite the immense violence she had just inflicted, drove the training sword into the dust of the floor and smiled at the prince. “Thank you very much! In that case…” 

“Wait! I’ve told you I’ll hear what you have to say, but I’m not promising support! Don’t get ahead of yourself!” 

Sure. Like a kid who loses a game of rock, paper, scissors and then says it’s best of three. 

“Hey, Iris, all his knights are knocked out at the moment. No witnesses. I think this would be a great time to bury this little brat and go home.” 

“Hrk?!” 

“N-no, Elder Brother, we mustn’t! Then we wouldn’t get the money!” 

Iris objected, not on moral grounds but because we wouldn’t get paid. My sweet little sister was growing up. 

“…One-tenth,” the prince said, almost in a groan. 

“Wha—?” Iris asked, looking at him. 

“One-tenth! For starters. A-ahem, you’re not wrong that having the defense funds suddenly dry up entirely would be problematic. We’ll continue providing one-tenth of the previous amount!” 

“G-good heavens! With that little, we would hardly be able to…” 

Iris was clearly distressed; the prince finally got a chance to wear a triumphant grin. “Well, you did put on a pretty good show for me…for a country bumpkin. Think of this as my way of thanking you! You want more cash? Then show me another good time!” 

“Very well! Please bring in the next group of knights, then!” 

The prince hadn’t expected this and was quick to walk it back. “Okay, no. You’re not gonna just keep beating up my soldiers! I said show me a good time!” 

“A good time… V-very well, erm, you may borrow my treasured bamboo dragonfly for one day…” 

“Are you makin’ fun of me?! That’s just a kids’ toy; that’s not what I’m talking about!” The prince growled at Iris, thoroughly worked up. “Tomorrow! Come back here tomorrow. I’ll have an opponent ready for you who’ll knock your socks off. If you win again, then I might see my way to a little more cash for you. Got it?” 

Then he took his leave. 

We left the castle and headed back to rejoin the others. 

Iris, looking glumly at the ground, mumbled, “Elder Brother, I was only able to recover one-tenth of our support…” 

We had come here originally hoping to not only continue to get money for defense but to ask them for something extra for an attack. It was understandably depressing to have our budget slashed instead. 

“Don’t worry about it. One day, one tenth. Just keep going back every day, and in twenty days of threatening—er, talking with him, we’ll have twice what we started with. That’d be a big success, don’t you think?” 

I was trying to cheer her up, and it worked: Iris looked at me, a smile blooming on her face. “I can’t help thinking it’s not going to be that easy, but I do feel better. Elder Brother, I hope I can count on you for tomorrow.” 

“You sure can. Just so you know, I plan to actually do something tomorrow.” 

That was how our days of negotiating began… 

2 

“ Exterion !” 

“Y-y-y-you’re kidding, right?!” The shout echoed around the training room. It came, of course, from the prince. 

“Heh! Looks like you misjudged my little sister’s power. Believe me, no griffin is a match for Iris.” 

“Y-you’re the one who got all upset, saying a caged griffin was cruel and unusual and against the rules!” 

Lying before us at that moment was the body of the griffin, cut clean in half by a single blow. 

A griffin. A monster the size of a house, who had wings and could fly and sometimes even made off with horses or cattle: body of a lion, head of an eagle. It was no dragon, sure, but it was still the sort of dangerous enemy that instilled fear in the hearts of most adventurers. 

“Elder Brother, I did it!” 

“Y-you sure did. That’s my little sister… Nice work.” 

Iris wandered over to me with a big smile on her face, and I answered with only a little hesitation. 

“Um, Prince Levy. So now you’ll…” 

“Y-yeah, yeah, fine! I’ll give you more money, so put your sword away! Don’t point that thing at me!” 

He was nearly in tears. Iris let out a sigh of relief. Her smile disappeared, though, at what the prince said next. 

“But not much more. Between yesterday and today, I’m willing to give you fifteen percent of the support money. All right, now show yourselves out…” 

“Impossible! At least make it twenty percent!” 

“I s-said not to point that thing at me… Yikes, stay back! Your sword is touching my cheek! A-are you trying to threaten me?!” 

I couldn’t blame Iris for unwittingly stalking closer to him with her sword. 

“Threaten you? No, no, I’m only negotiating…” 

“Then put the sword away !” the prince wailed, but in spite of this display, he was enough of a ruler that the “threat” didn’t work on him. I’d assumed he was a nasty little twerp, but maybe he actually had some guts. 

Still, he constantly looked down on us as bumpkins. In that case… 

“How about a contest with me, then?” 

We had to wound his pride—that’s it. 

“Wh-why would I want to have anything to do with you?” 

“Now, now, don’t get the wrong idea, okay? I’ve done in a laundry list of the Demon King’s generals. And seeing as your knights and your griffin couldn’t even beat my little sister… Heh, I guess maybe if you brought in a dragon…” 

Having had his bluff called, the prince gulped audibly, but Iris, who knew exactly how strong I was (or wasn’t), was looking at me like I was crazy. 

Please stop gawking at me like that. My heart can’t take it. 

“What I’m proposing is: Let’s play a game. You run a whole country of casinos. So you must be a betting man—am I right?” 

Last night, after I got back to the inn, Darkness had told me everything she’d learned about the prince that day. According to her, this kid adored gambling and games of chance. It only made sense. Elroad was built on casinos, after all. 

“You want to challenge me in a game? And I suppose if you win, you plan to ask for more money?” 

“Yeah, pretty much. You know about doubling down, right? Going double on the stakes after you win a bet? That’s what I’m suggesting for you and me.” 

I’ll give the prince a bit more credit. He was quick. He picked up on what I was doing right away. 

Darkness’s information said he hated to lose. She might not be much use in battle, but for little daily tasks like this, she was surprisingly useful. 

Incidentally, as for the other two, one of them had wasted all her allowance at the casino, while the other went back to the Duxion farm and used some cash Darkness lent her to hunt the remaining monsters. She was pretty pleased about it. 

I didn’t expect either of them to be much use in the immediate future, so I let it ride. 

The prince thought for only a moment before he nodded. “All right, if I lose, I’ll boost you up to twenty percent. And if you lose, what will you give me?” 

Crap, I hadn’t thought about my bet. If an entire nation was asking for money, it wasn’t going to be pocket change. I had to come up with something just as valuable… 

“Okay, I’ve got it. If you win, my little sister will give you a shoulder rub.” 

“I’ll do my best, Elder Brother!” 

“How stupid are you?! No one would want that! Money talks, ‘Elder Brother’! Pony up some cash or at least offer me something valuable!” 

I didn’t have cash; that was why I was resorting to this. 

Iris hesitantly took something out of her pocket. “Um, in that case, if we should lose, I would lend you my flying spinner for three days…” 

“I told you, I don’t care about some dumb toy!” 

That looked like the flying spinner I’d given her ages ago. I guess it still meant a lot to her. 

“How about this: When you do lose, you get zero support money. Not a little less or whatever, just nothing. I’m only entertaining you here because you supposedly came to negotiate, so surely you can agree to that. I assume you’ll be coming back every day, so fine: No matter how much money you pry out of me, if you lose even once, it’s all gone. Still up to the task?” He smirked tauntingly at us. 

Ah… So if we lost even one time, he would take all our money away. 

Pretty good move on his part. 

Or it would have been, if his opponents hadn’t been Iris and me. 

“Okay, sounds good to me,” I said. “I’ll set the terms of the contest, then.” 

The prince looked totally startled; maybe he hadn’t expected me to accept so quickly. As he watched, I took a single coin from my purse. I put both hands behind my back, then presented the prince with my two closed fists. 

“The game couldn’t be simpler. Guess where the hundred eris coin is.” 

“…You’re betting everything on the most straightforward gamble in the world? Seriously, are you an idiot? You know you can’t take this back, right?” 

He looked at me with outright pity, but this time Iris spoke up. “I get it, Elder Brother! You have incredibly good Luck! So we might just…!” 

“…What?” That brought a bead of sweat to the prince’s forehead. But, recognizing that he couldn’t back out now, he stared at my fists for a long moment, and then…! 

“This one… No, this one! It’s in this hand!” he said, pointing to my right fist. 

Iris brought her hands together as if she was praying. 

The prince’s eyes widened when he saw the smirk on my face. 

“Buzz! Too bad!” 

“Daaaammmiiiiittt!” 

I made a show of opening my hand to reveal nothing inside. 

“Well done, Elder Brother! Now we get twenty percent! Twenty!” 

Iris was so innocently happy. But the prince, to our surprise, smiled as if he wasn’t bothered. “Don’t get too pleased over one little victory, okay? Unlike you two, I only have to win one single time. Brace yourselves for tomorrow!” 

3 

“ Sacred Lightning Flare !!” 

A bolt of bright lightning slammed down in the center of the training field. It dispersed in a blinding flash, kicking up a violent wind. 

““Yeeeeek?!”” the prince and I exclaimed, covering our heads. 

When the roaring stopped, there was a pile of rubble there. This was the sort of spell the Hero would use against the last boss. 

“Elder Brother, I did it!” 

The perpetrator of this terrifying phenomenon approached me with a broad smile on her face. 

This time, Iris had been facing a crowd of golems. The prince, having decided that even the biggest, baddest opponent he could find would be helpless one-on-one, had switched to mob tactics, but… 

“Great work! That’s my little sister. What do you think, Your Majesty? How about you stop all this nonsense and go back to helping us?” 

“I saw you—you were covering your head and screaming just like I was. But in any event, if you want my support money, you’ll have to keep beating me. Right now, you’re up to twenty-five percent. What do you say? Got the guts to challenge me for another day?” 

The prince kept smirking, but I wordlessly showed him a coin. 

“Huh, some nerve! I don’t know how good your Luck is, but I’m the prince of a country that makes all its money from casinos. How long do you think you can keep beating the house?” 

I didn’t say anything, just flipped the coin in the air. I snatched it as it came down and put my hands behind my back… 

“…So long story short, we’re up to thirty percent. At this rate, we’ll have the funding back to normal by the end of the week.” 

“…Geez, I don’t know whether to be impressed or what. Who knew that outrageous Luck of yours would save the world one day?” 

Back from another victorious encounter with the prince, we were discussing the situation over dinner. 

“Kazuma, Kazuma. Wanna go out with me tomorrow? We could hit the casino. I’ll call you ‘Lord Kazuma’ all day!” 

“Pass. Didn’t you use up all your money yesterday anyway? The heck were you doing all day today?” 

Aqua had burned through the allowance Darkness had given her almost immediately after arriving in town. But now she proudly showed me a bulging purse. “I was at the Adventurers Guild today. You remember how Iris killed all those monsters on the way here? Being as smart as I am, I collected the valuable bits and pieces from them.” 

“So you sold the parts from the monsters she killed? Hand it over. I won’t insist on all of it, but give us at least half. I’ll make sure it goes to Iris.” 

I reached for the purse, but Aqua grabbed it instead, curling around it defensively. 

“Um, Elder Brother. I’m not an adventurer, so I’m not eligible to sell monster parts. It’s not that big a deal to me…” 

“Sorry, Iris. If you give this lady an inch, she’ll take a mile.” 

Aqua had apparently decided we were going to come after her, because she jumped up and got in a fighting stance. As she and I squared off, Megumin finished her meal, wiped her mouth, and said, “I will go along to babysit Aqua tomorrow. Otherwise, I’m sure she would run up a huge debt at the casino.” 

Hmm, well, at least Megumin didn’t seem as likely as Aqua to develop a horrific gambling addiction. 

“Me, I’m done investigating, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do tomorrow.” 

Aqua perked up at that, slithering over to Darkness. “Say, Darkness, in that case, why don’t you come with us tomorrow? As a much more experienced casino-goer, I’ll give you all sorts of tips.” 

“…You’re not planning to beg me for more cash as soon as you run out of money, are you?” 

It looked like that was exactly what she was planning. Nonetheless, I ignored Aqua’s puffed-out, angry cheeks and said, “You guys do whatever. Let us handle the support funding. We’ll squeeze every last eris out of that punk prince.” 

And so… 

“Too bad! You lose again!” 

“But hoooowwww?!” 

It had been a week since Iris and I had started coming to the castle to “negotiate.” Iris didn’t have to fight anymore. They had run out of opponents. So that left me to battle for our budget. 

The prince and I would have two bets each day. He just had to find the coin, nice and simple, and the very simplicity of it seemed to inflame his refusal to back down from the challenge. 

“You did it, Elder Brother! Our defense budget is back to normal! Now we have to do something about what we originally came here for: the money for an offensive against the Demon King’s army…” 

“Wh-whoa, hold on! I can’t give you money for that. Funding defense is one thing, but giving you money to attack the Demon King would cause all kinds of problems.” 

I’d assumed the prince would be game for another round of betting, but he was surprisingly adamant about this. 

“Oh, so you’re okay losing to me? You’re okay with everybody knowing that the high-and-mighty ruler of the country of casinos got owned by some no-name outsider?” 

But no matter how mercilessly I teased him, the prince only snorted. “You think you can get me with such obvious entrapment? The only reason I kept taking your bets was that the worst that could happen to me was that things would go on just like they always have—and if I won, I would have an official excuse to cut off your funding. But our nation doesn’t want to antagonize the Demon King. There’s no way I can give you money to attack him.” 

I was starting to think this prince was sharper than I had been giving him credit for. No choice. It was time to show my hand. 

“You sure about that? You might win the next one, eh?” 

“Nonsense. I’ve lost every single one of our bets so far; I have no reason to think I would start winning now. What do you take me for? I’m the prince of the Kingdom of…Casinos…?” His mouth fell open as if in slow motion. His eyes were locked on my right hand, which I held out, open, in front of him. 

A few minutes ago, he had bet on my left hand and lost. 

“Elder Brother, is it possible that the coin isn’t in either of your hands and never has been?” Iris asked, surprised, though not as surprised as the prince. 

“You got it. You’re a smart girl, Iris. I’ll bet you remember what I said when I made that first bet, right?” 

“What you said? Um… I think it was ‘The game couldn’t be simpler. Guess where the hundred eris coin is,’ right? …Oh!” 

“Argh!” The prince seemed to get it at the same time Iris did. 

“Yep: I said ‘where,’ not ‘which hand.’ I was asking about the location of the coin. And I put it in my back pocket every single time!” 

“Wow! You’re so shrewd, Elder Brother! Nobody is as good at dirty tricks as you are!” Iris said, her eyes shining. 

“That’s a compliment, right?” 

“Yes, I think so.” Iris giggled, leaving me with the distinct impression that she wasn’t complimenting me at all. 

“You lowborn—filthy—son of a—! How dare you pull such a cheap prank on me! Don’t you consider your actions a blemish on the name of royalty?!” 

“Not at all.” 

Seeing as I wasn’t a royal. 

One hissing, furious breath escaped the prince when he saw my reaction. “…Grrr, this is why nobody likes country rats! Well, forget it. Shame on me for not seeing through your little ploy. I’m the one who’s supposed to be the ruler of a country of casinos. I’ll let you keep the money.” He never did rise to our bait. “I won’t be moved, no matter how much you mock me. The money for defense will continue as before but nothing more. That’s absolutely the end of it… Though, to be fair, it was Lugkraft who said we needed to end your funding. Me, I just didn’t want to get hitched to some girl from the sticks, so I went along with it. I regret that I never beat you, but hey, that was fun.” He sounded so casual. “Right, see you later, then. I’ll be praying you can beat the Demon King.” 

I was still trying to process something I had never thought he would say when the prince ushered us out of the room. 

“—And that’s the story. I have half a mind to smack that kid around a little bit.” 

“Good. Well said, Kazuma. To think, a country like Elroad, whose only redeeming feature is its ability to bring in money, making light of a nation like our Belzerg! And to have dragged Lady Iris through this— I’ll kill that little brat myself!” 

Back at the inn, I was having a secret meeting with Darkness and the others. Iris had gone to her room by herself, clearly depressed. 

“I do not have any objection, of course. I would be happy to assault a castle or whatever you wish. My minion she may be, but she is still my comrade, and I shall not stand to see her made fun of. No Crimson Magic Clan member would remain calm in light of this.” 

“I don’t know what you’re planning, but I got those monster parts from Iris. I’ll help out, as long as it’s not anything scary, okay?” 

I discovered I had two very eager friends and one sort of eager, maybe, I wasn’t sure friend. 

“I’ll make that little sod regret underestimating me…!” 

For quite a while now, I’d been nursing a plan we could use on the off chance we didn’t get the defense money. Now it was time to fill everyone in… 

4 

Ah, morning. The sun poured in through the window, filling the dim room with gentle light. It was a beautiful day. A gorgeous way to wake up…but my mood had hit rock bottom. 

“Let me out of here! What charge? I demand to know what charge you’re holding me on! This is unwarranted detention!” 

Aqua was shouting and banging on the bars despite the fact that it was the crack of dawn. 

That’s right: We were in jail. Unbelievably, my perfect, flawless plan hadn’t worked. The local authorities had detained all of us and relieved us of our weapons and equipment. 

The police building was made of stone, but considering the season, it was surprisingly warm. The jail itself was stone, too, with iron bars on the cells. Inside each cell were only two things: chains for subduing violent prisoners and a really crappy toilet (pun intended). 

Darkness was seriously bugging me: For some reason, she was just sitting there, not moving a muscle, staring at those chains and blushing faintly. 

A jail guard who was outside filling out some paperwork frowned at Aqua’s commotion. “Ch-charges…? I didn’t think you’d be dumb enough to ask, but… You lot were sneaking around town in the middle of the night, then you used a huge magic spell that made a loud boom , and you thought no one was going to be upset?” 

Megumin grabbed the bars of the cell. “In the city I live in, the police just let me off with a warning: ‘We don’t want the local terrain to change too much, so maybe you could pick a more distant spot.’ And this is the very first time I’ve let off magic anywhere near this town. You people are awfully intolerant.” 

“Idiot! That makes your police the weird ones!” (Well, he wasn’t wrong.) “The townspeople here all jumped out of bed thinking a battle was starting! The prosecutor will be here soon. Save your excuses for her. Just waking people up with some magic isn’t likely to get you in that much trouble. My guess is they’ll let you off with a fine. Pipe down until then.” 

The night before, we had waited until everyone was asleep, then sneaked out of town, being careful to avoid the guards. 

Initially, I’d asked everyone to make a little noise just outside town, thinking that all we needed was a bit of a commotion at the castle. But Megumin started going on about how if there was a medium-size hill nearby, she could make her Explosion reach all the way to the castle; it was okay; she was used to it… I didn’t really know what she was talking about, but we went with that. 

So we set off the blast, and in the ensuing chaos, I sneaked into the castle. I worked my way to the prince’s bedroom, where I left a knife and a note by his pillow. 

The note read: Foolish human, did you think that a simple declaration of neutrality would save you? When we have brought low vile Belzerg, you will be next! 

…See? We make him think the Demon King’s army wasn’t interested in respecting any neutrals and scare him into joining our side. It was my specialty: cause a problem myself, then be the hero by solving it. This would put the fear of God, or at least of the Demon King, into him and might get him to cooperate… 

That was the plan, but… 

Come dawn, just as we could hear people waking up and starting their days, the woman appeared. 

She was impeccably dressed, with a face that screamed competence, her red hair tied back in a ponytail and her piercing gaze fixed on us. 

She reminded me of Sena, the prosecutor I’d met back in Axel. Sena had been as equally sharp-looking and scary. I wondered if she was doing well. A rumor I’d heard suggested she had solved a certain case and been welcomed back to the capital with open arms. 

This prosecutor hung her jacket on the wall, poured herself some tea or something, glanced at us in the cell, and then turned a wordless look on the guard. Who are these bums? she seemed to ask. 

“Late last night, we rushed to investigate the use of explosion magic outside of town, and we found this lot running around, pursued by a gathering swarm of undead. We didn’t believe anyone would deliberately leave town to hunt undead at that hour, so we brought them in. The report is over there, ma’am.” He pointed at a table and the paper on top of it. 

Outside our cell, the jail was carpeted, and besides the table there was even a sofa and some chairs. I had to say, this didn’t feel much like a place for holding or interrogating criminals. 

The prosecutor must have read something in my look, because she took a sip of her tea and said, “You’re in Elroad: a country that has prospered by running casinos. It’s not a place that violent criminals usually visit. More typically, this building holds drunken tourists or people who’ve gambled away so much money, they can’t even pay for an inn. It gives them somewhere to spend the night without freezing… Now, I’d like to speak to you each one by one.” There was a cold flash in her eyes. 

It looked like the interrogations were to be conducted right in front of the rest of us, maybe on purpose. We wouldn’t be escorted to some cramped side room; she would ask her questions at the table in the carpeted area. The guard would stand behind the subject of her interrogation, watching for any false moves. 

She apparently intended to speak to each of us individually, but I thought the whole point of interrogating suspects one by one was so they couldn’t share their story with everyone else and you might be able to catch them in a contradiction. 

The prosecutor had that covered, though. She pulled out a little item that was all too familiar to me. 

“All right, I’ve got a few questions for you… Incidentally, this is a magic item that jingles whenever someone tells a lie. Thus, I’m afraid, any attempt to coordinate your stories is doomed to fail.” She set the little bell on the table. Then she wove her fingers together, turning her stare on the person across from her. 

“…Ahem, I may not look like much, but I am a Crusader. On the name of my patron goddess, Eris, I swear that I shall tell the truth and nothing but the truth.” 

…Yes, there was Darkness, beet red, her eyes weirdly eager. 

The prosecutor let out a soft whisper of “Very good.” With her eyes still fixed on the paper in front of her, she started talking. “Your class is Crusader. Your faith, the Eris sect… Please begin by stating your name.” 

“I refuse,” Darkness said flatly. 

“…Excuse me?” The prosecutor looked up in surprise, casting a dubious gaze at her. 

“I said, I refuse. If you want to know my name, pry it out of me with interrogation or torture! But by the proud name of the Dustiness household, I shall never speak without a fight!” 

“Miss Dustiness, is it? …Don’t worry—we have no intention of interrogation or torture or any such thing. Magic provides us far more accurate access to truth than those outdated practices. You can relax… But the Dustiness household? Do you mean the Dustiness household? …I almost can’t believe it… But the bell didn’t ring…” She looked questioningly at the magic bell, muttering to herself. 

…Maybe it would be best if she just talked to me and let me do all the explaining. I could see what was about to happen to this prosecutor, and I felt downright sorry for her. 

“Very well, Miss Dustiness. Could you tell me why you unleashed magic in the place that you did?” 

“I refuse. If you want me to talk, you’ll have to wring every word from my battered, broken body.” 

Darkness was still playing at resisting the questioning. What a lot of trouble she was. 

“…You understand your refusal to answer could be taken as an admission of wrongdoing, yes? I told you already, we don’t rely on outdated practices, but we aren’t without some equipment here. I promise you: I don’t want to use it. You needn’t worry; you’re not going to be punished too harshly. So don’t make this any harder than it has to be. Just tell me what happened. I am authorized to use torture if, in my judgment, a suspect is hiding something germane to the case at hand. I advise you not to be rash about—” 

“Yes, torture me! Do your worst! Please!” Darkness shouted, leaning across the table. The prosecutor slid back a little. Then she looked at the bell. 

…Of course it didn’t ring. 

Her frown deepened. “I… I believe I’ve heard enough from you… Next suspect!” 

“How could this happen…? I might never have another chance in my life to be subjected to interrogation and torture. And it’s over just like that…” 

“You need to stop making people’s lives harder because of your own deviance.” 

A deeply disappointed Darkness had come back to the cell in exchange for Megumin, who was next on the questioning list. The prosecutor already looked so tired, it was almost painful to see. She collected herself when Megumin sat down, though, fixing her with a fittingly stern glare and putting her hands on the table. “…Now then, you’re the one who actually let off the spell, correct? Your class is Arch-wizard, I assume. Please begin by stating your name.” 

“My name is Megumin.” 

The prosecutor didn’t move and didn’t soften her expression. “…I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

“I said, Megumin.” 

The prosecutor waited for the bell to ring. 

…Which, of course, it didn’t. 

At that, Megumin said, “Hey, if you have something to say about my name, then I shall hear it.” 

“N-no! I’m sorry—that was rude of me,” the prosecutor said, startled. “Ahem. If I may ask, why did you use such a noisy spell in the middle of the night?” 

“I make it my business to let off one explosion each and every day. Back in Axel Town, I sometimes used the spell in the middle of downtown as a fireworks display.” 

The prosecutor froze. But when she looked at the bell—still no ringing. 

Megumin hadn’t exactly answered her question, but the prosecutor seemed more interested in this idea of one explosion per day. “…So what happens to you if you don’t perform this daily explosion?” 

“I am loath even to think about it. I could all too easily picture myself simply going pop .” 

I wondered what it meant to go pop . 

The prosecutor seemed to have the same question; she looked at the silent bell and muttered to herself. Why didn’t that bell ring? Maybe Megumin really would go pop ? 

“Let’s try a different question. The very act of using explosion magic in the middle of the night. What do you think about it? Do you not feel it’s rather bad behavior?” 

“I do not. The reason is that I was, in my previous life, none other than the goddess of destruction. Thus, I view destructive activity as right and good.” 

As Megumin babbled, the prosecutor glanced at the bell again. No ring. 

…Maybe it was broken? 

“Hey, Aqua, you’re looking so great today, a guy could fall head over heels for you.” 

“Ooh, what’s this all of a sudden? What’s gotten into you, Kazuma? Maybe you really are feeling a little jealous about me getting chatted up by those guys the other—” 

Diiing. 

Before Aqua could finish, the bell on the table jingled. 

“…Please don’t interfere with the questioning.” 

“Sorry, I was just making sure the bell wasn’t broken… Whoa! Hey, stop that! What are you doing?! How dare you try to strangle me after I complimented you! Besides, you did the same thing when you thought the bell was broken!” 

I had to peel Aqua off me as she tried to wring my neck, but at least the prosecutor looked relieved to know that the bell was obviously in good working order. 

“All right, I’ll ask you again,” she said. “Why did you set off an explosion in the middle of the night?” It almost sounded like she had softened toward Megumin a little bit. 

“Because that is the way I live my life.” 

The prosecutor toughened right back up. She gave the bell a long, hard look, but… 

“………Erm, next, please…,” she said, drained, her shoulders slumping at the silent bell. 

“My name? Aqua. I’m sort of the babysitter for these three—the overseer, you might even say.” 

The three of us looked at her, shocked. Then we looked at the lie-detecting bell on the table. 

“Miss Aqua… Ahem. That’s the same name as the goddess of water,” the prosecutor said, but for some reason, the bell didn’t ring. 

…Huh? 

“Hey, that thing’s not ringing…” 

“It doesn’t ring so long as the speaker believes what she’s saying,” Darkness said. “Remember how it didn’t ring even though Megumin was talking total nonsense?” 

“Hey, I shall have you tell me just what total nonsense you are referring to.” 

If that was true, then did Aqua really think of herself as our guardian? I would have to knock the notion out of her later. 

“All right, let’s begin. Why in the world were you where you were at the time you were there?” 

“We were keeping our friend, that perpetually horny guy Kazuma over there, clear of the town because we were afraid he might go sneaking into people’s houses in the night.” 

Grrr! She must have thought she was getting payback on me for that stuff I said earlier to make the bell ring. I assumed that this, like the pronouncement about being our babysitter earlier, was just something she had convinced herself of in her broken mind, but… 

The prosecutor and I both looked at the bell, but it didn’t ring. 

The prosecutor looked at me, contempt creeping into her gaze. 

It… It’s not true. 

Seriously, did that bell even work? 

“Erm, all right… And why did you use explosion magic in the middle of the night…?” 

“To protect this city from an encroaching horde of monsters. You heard me: Those three and I saved the day, even though it was the middle of the night!” 

Now Aqua was absolutely lying through her teeth, but still the bell didn’t ring. 

The prosecutor was wilting in the face of the silent bell. “…You’re…not lying, it would seem. Incredible… You saved this city…?” She looked directly at Aqua, suddenly abjectly apologetic. She sat up straighter. “Allow me to thank you on behalf of this city. Miss Aqua, wasn’t it? And your class is Arch-priest?” 

Suddenly, Aqua stood up from her chair. And then…! 

“Heh-heh, Arch-priest is merely my disguise! I have nothing to hide: I am myself the very goddess of water! Yes! The goddess Aqua stands before you!” 

We, the prosecutor, and even the guard all immediately looked at the bell. 

…Which didn’t ring. 

Finally the prosecutor sighed and murmured, “Pfah. It’s just broken…” 

“Why doesn’t anyone be lieve me?!” 

A few minutes later, Aqua rejoined us in the cell after the guard had subdued her. 

Having dealt with my three companions, the prosecutor told the guard to take the tinkling magical item to the back, then rubbed her eyes in exhaustion. 

…I sort of felt bad for her. My pity for the prosecutor moved me to whisper to Aqua as she came back, “Hey, why didn’t the bell ring for you? Did you use some clever spell?” 

“That bell detects the ill spirit that emanates from a person when they tell a lie,” Aqua said. “But I’m a goddess, remember? A little white lie here or there isn’t enough to make evil emanate from me. And even if it did, my intense holy aura would wipe it out immediately. To make that bell jingle, I would have had to tell one hell of a whopper.” 

She sounded completely nonchalant. Sometimes she was capable of sort of…remembering she was a goddess and making use of her powers. I wasn’t going to decide whether that was good or bad. 

“…Huh? So it has to be a really big, really serious lie to make the bell ring? But back at our mansion, you made one of those bells go off when you praised me. That would mean…” 

“All right, the last of you… Over here, please.” 

I was about to subject Aqua to an interrogation of my own when the cell door opened again and I was taken over to meet the poor prosecutor, her voice tremendously tired. 

“I am so, so sorry! I had no idea I was dealing with someone related to both the Dustiness and Sinfonia households!” 

The prosecutor had sure changed her tune in a hurry. 

It was those pendants that Darkness and Claire had given me. The moment she saw them, the woman just about threw herself on the ground apologizing. 

“Er, yeah, well, it’s true that we set off an explosion in the middle of the night. But…y’know. We had a good reason for it. We just can’t tell you what it is. Look, your country and ours are allies, right? Nobody’s supposed to know we’re here right now, so we’d like to keep this quiet…” 

“Yes, of course. I understand! This could be a diplomatic incident if not handled delicately! You can spare me the details!” 

Wow. Shows what noble privilege gets you. These items I’d obtained were so powerful, they could even silence a prosecutor. 

“Okay, so can we go home now?” I asked. 

The prosecutor smiled, practically relieved by the question. She made a point of seeing us to the door of the police station. 

And then it happened. 

“Ma’am, you said this bell was broken, but I’m afraid I can’t find any evidence of malfunction. For the time being, I’ll have it exchanged for good measure… Heeey, put this thing in the storage area; we’ll get a new one!” 

That was the guard from earlier, calling out to someone else. 

At that, the prosecutor looked concerned. Probably trying to reconcile that with Aqua’s claim that she was a goddess… 

Then she glanced at me. “…If I may. The thing that blue-haired woman said earlier. Something about you running amok in the town at night on account of your overweening sexual desire…” 

“That’s a lie! All completely untrue!” I insisted, but the prosecutor took a step away from me all the same. 

“I—I see. In any event, I won’t say anything, so…” 

Darkness patted my shoulder. “Look, uh… We believe you anyway. You aren’t the kind of guy who would do anything to us, even if we were alone with you and completely defenseless. So that’s great.” 

Diiing. 

The room was filled with ringing when Darkness spoke. 

The prosecutor took another step back. 

“No one believes that Kazuma is the kind of man who would do such a thing. I certainly do not ever sleep with one eye open when it’s his turn to tend the campfire.” 

Diiing. 

…Wordlessly, the prosecutor took another step away from us. 

Then our most obtuse party member clenched her fist and…! 

No, this one I wasn’t worried about. I knew it had to be a really big lie before the evil aura would do anything. 

“Me, I trust you, too! You aren’t the least bit horny, Kazuma, and you’ve definitely never tried to sneak into Darkness’s bed, and I know that if anything, you’re actually too kind and caring! Everything I said earlier was a complete and total lie!” 

Ding, ding, ding, diiiiiiing… 

“ Ding this, ding that, stop with the ringing already! Is that how you see me, you bunch of lousy—?! But I am slightly realistic about myself, so I’ll change. Just stop saying that stuff; I’m sorry!” 

5 

Iris was waiting for us, tears in her eyes, when we got back to the inn. 

“Elder Brother, thank goodness you’re safe! When I heard you had all been arrested, I was afraid I would have to break you out even if I started a war in the process…” 

“All right, calm down. I’m fine, everything’s fine, nothing happened to us!” 

It took a little while, but my militant martial princess finally got herself under control. 

“But why in the world did you get arrested at all, Elder Brother? An employee here at the inn informed me that you had been taken in, but they didn’t know any more than that…” 

We had pursued our plan in secret, but Iris was too smart and too sharp not to figure it out sooner or later. When we explained what had happened, she looked at the floor, motionless. Darkness reached out a hand placatingly. “L-Lady Iris…? Um, I apologize for undertaking this action with Kazuma without consulting you. But I assure you, I thought it was for the best…” 

“…ful…,” Iris murmured instead of answering. 

“Lady Iris?” Darkness asked again. 

“…Shameful,” Iris repeated, perfectly loud enough for us to hear this time. 

At that, Darkness, with no trace of her usual stupidity and nonsense, bowed down in front of Iris. “I give you my most heartfelt apology, Lady Iris. Our indiscretion in this matter was entirely my own doing. I beg you to—” 

But Iris silenced her with an upraised hand. “It was myself I was calling ‘shameful.’ I was hardly able to get anything from our negotiations and had to let my elder brother do most of the work… And then when I was unable to achieve my original mission of getting additional funds, I simply shut myself in my room, downhearted. Even though I had hardly even tried anything.” 

No, Iris, you tried really hard. If you hadn’t been so strong, none of those contests would have taken place. 

Despite my feelings, though, Iris shook her head. “While I was in here sulking, you and Lalatina put yourselves on the line, Elder Brother. That should have been my job.” 

Uh, no, actually, a princess shouldn’t be doing stuff like that. 

But I didn’t think that blunt comeback was the best thing for Iris right now. 

Then Iris picked up the sword leaning against the wall nearby and turned to Darkness, who was still kneeling. “Lalatina Ford Dustiness. I shall now attend the castle. Accompany me.” 

“L-Lady Iris?” Darkness looked up, surprised to suddenly be called by her full name. When she saw Iris’s face, her cheeks flushed, and she gave a bow of her head befitting an actual knight. 

“I am going to ask that Prince Levy provide us the additional funds. Indeed…” This was not the Iris I had first met. And it wasn’t the one I’d come to know, with her easy laughter, quick anger, and curiosity about everything. “On the very name of Belzerg, by the blood I have inherited from the Hero of old. Whatsoever I need do, I shall have that money, even if I must force the matter!” 

“Truly, you are a woman of resolve, Lady Iris! I, Lalatina, stand ready to defend you, come what may!” 

The Iris I saw now was without question the descendant of an old hero. She stood with her blue eyes blazing, a warrior queen on the cusp of battle. 

On the huge main street leading to the castle. Iris moved like a gale, a force of nature passersby instinctively gave a wide berth. 

“Kazuma, get a load of Lady Iris today! Ahhh, to see my mistress walking so proud and so tall… As a noble charged with protecting my nation, I’ve never been happier!” 

Darkness, sounding a lot like the Iris-obsessed, white-suited Claire, walked a half step behind the princess. Even she looked different than usual. 

“Gotta admit, Iris is looking awfully cool, but your typical absurdity kind of offsets it. You’re not much of a squire, but you’re all she’s got, so straighten up a little.” 

That struck a nerve; Darkness bit her lip, but at least she was self-aware enough to wipe the grin off her face. 

I continued: “So, what, does Iris have some sort of plan? She said she would do whatever she had to and force the issue if necessary, so…? You guys gonna storm the treasury or something?” 

“You impudent fool! I can’t believe you think Lady Iris would ever stoop to such a thing! …But if she plans to do whatever she has to, then I assume she’s got some options in mind. I’ve heard of something Belzerg used to do back when it was first founded and had no money…” 

Well, if there’s such a great plan around, freakin’ tell me about it already. 

But it happened before I could get out the words. 

“Is something the matter, Princess Iris? I’m afraid the prince has specifically ordered us that neither you nor any of your associates are to be admitted to the castle, so I beg your forgiveness, but—” 

“ Exterion !” 

No sooner had we arrived than a guard tried to stop us—a guard Iris summarily ignored as she sliced open the great castle gate. 

The huge, seemingly impenetrable door collapsed in a single blow, falling to the ground with a dull thud . 

“Princess Iris?! Wh-what in the world…?!” 

Iris continued to ignore the confounded soldier as she strode boldly through the now-open gate. The guard, realizing he wasn’t up to handling this alone, grabbed a whistle hanging around his neck. 

Fweeee! 

The high-pitched sound echoed all over the castle grounds. 

The path to the audience chamber was shin-deep with toppled knights and soldiers. Struck with the flat of Iris’s blade, they grunted and groaned. 

“Y-you kn-kn-know what this m-means, don’t you?!” stammered the prince. He stood in front of Iris, desperately trying to keep his cool as he faced her unsheathed sword. 

I whispered to Darkness beside me. “Hey, I know I said this before, but are you sure we’re really necessary here?” 

“H-hush! Be quiet! We’ve got him right where we want him!” she said, but the flush in her cheeks hinted that she got what I was saying. 

Aqua, sticking close behind me, was put off by Iris’s display of violence. “Hey, Kazuma, I’m starting to get worried about Emperor Zel. I want to go home and check on him. I’m sure he’s crying his fuzzy little eyes out over how much he misses me.” 

“I’m pretty sure he forgets everything about three seconds after he learns it, so I wouldn’t worry about him.” I took a firm hold of Aqua’s feather mantle to keep her from fleeing the scene. 

Things seemed to be heating up with the prince in the meantime. “Now, you listen to me, you despicable curs! You know this amounts to a declaration of war! And I’m sure the other countries that support you won’t stand idly by, either! This is going to be a major diplomatic—!” 

“Prince Levy.” Iris silenced the overexcited ruler with nothing but his name. Behind the boy, the prime minister was backing away uneasily. “I only wished to speak with you. I apologize for the more uncouth among my actions, but then, as you say, my people are but barbarians. Could I not urge you to overlook what I’ve done as the indiscretion of a simple rube?” 

The prince nearly lost his head with rage. “Wha…?! That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever…!” 

“If such excuses will not prevail—” 

Another voice now spoke quietly—not Iris but someone behind me. 

Megumin took a big step forward, her eyes bright red, her staff upraised. “Then, my explosion magic and Iris’s blade together shall bring this country to ruin…” 

“Wh-wh-what did you say?!” 

“Megumin, my friend, I must beg you not to be so hasty! I have no intention of doing any such thing!” Iris shoved Megumin back, out of the spotlight, but now her momentum was gone and she blushed a little. 

“And what exactly do you intend to ask for? I assume you’re after more money, but no amount of threatening will squeeze more cash out of me…!” Even cornered, the prince was still a royal; he didn’t give a single inch. 

“This is something my nation, Belzerg, used to do often, back when we were a new country and without money…” Iris drove her sword into the floor of the audience chamber. “Tell me: What is the largest, most dangerous, most destructive monster in this country?” 

She was looking straight at the prince. 

“I, Iris Stylish-Sword Belzerg, shall slay it, I vow.” 

Then she grinned.