Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (LN) - Volume 16 - Chapter 22

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White 2

About halfway through my battle with Black, the advantage was beginning to shift to one side.

Nearly half of the world Black created had been overtaken by white spiders.

At that point, it was only a matter of time before the tide turned in my favor.

Black was weaker than I expected, to be honest.

Or I guess I should say he was weakened.

He seems to have used up a lot of energy before the battle even started.

I’m guessing he shoved all of it into the system.

Which means while I was whining about how scary and impossible and stressful this fight was, he was practically running on fumes the whole time.

Yikes, talk about embarrassing!

Sure, Black is a more powerful god than I am, but obviously I can still beat him if he’s got barely any energy left in the tank!

In fact, he must not have been taking me very seriously if he thought he could fight me in that condition, huh?

Bwa-ha-ha! You’ll pay for that insult with your LIFE!

But just as I was getting all excited by my imminent victory, I noticed some changes back on the ground.

See, before I got tossed into this parallel dimension, I left myself a bit of a backup plan.

Namely, the clone I used to teleport Yamada to the love nest (LOL).

I stuck that little spider to Yamada so I could eavesdrop and sneak peeks on everything he heard and saw.

And what do you know, things got real weird real fast.

First of all, Yamada somehow escaped the love nest (LMAO) lickety-split.

I mean, using a familiar contract connection to teleport to someone? That’s not a thing.

Why was the old geezer able to pull off something so insane?

Is that weird or what?

Seriously, it’s just plain wrong.

And then Yamada starts in on this stupid, melodramatic “I’ll never give up!” nonsense?

I mean, sure, good for you?

Like, yeah, go right ahead! Whatever!

Then he marches right into the Word of God church and meets with the pontiff, and somehow gets some of the ancient dragons on his side.

Um, why?

Then they start wandering around with no real plan in mind, only to conveniently bump into Ms. Oka and the crew, and then you get this whole “The evil god was really D all along!” “Say whaaat?!”

Seriously, whaaat…?

Look, I’m just as surprised as you are.

So that’s when I decided to propose a truce with Black.

And so on and so forth.

I’m not a great speaker, you know!

Seriously, it took a long time just to get him to understand that I was saying we should stop fighting!

And then it took even longer to explain WHY!

In the meantime, Yamada and pals had a whole telepathic conference, met up in the Great Elroe Labyrinth, went to the system core, and managed to make their way to D!

Slow down! This is happening too fast!

Have a little consideration for my total inability to explain myself, please!

Especially when I have to do it in the middle of a big epic battle?!

This is waaay too hard!

Are you trying to make me cry?

Not to mention, you realize I put a ton of work into preparing for this fight, right?

Do you have any idea how it feels to have to drop all that and announce a truce when I barely even know what’s going on?

For real, do you want me to cry?

Especially when I was all pumped up ’cause I was just about to win?

I could cry! You wanna see me cry? ’Cause I’m gonna cry!

Which is why I’m gonna take all of that rage out on D now.

Seems like justified retaliation to me.

So yeah, hello again, time to die!

I teleport right in front of D’s face and hit her with the giant scythe, BAM!

Oh, I managed to summon my scythe right before I came here.

If I’d gotten it a little sooner, that would’ve made my fight with Black a whole lot easier…

But I guess we’ll call it even, since I was able to summon it in time to lay the smackdown on D.

I would’ve liked to wait for the perfect moment to show up all cool-like and save everybody’s butt at the last second, except it kinda looked like the Demon Lord was gonna use Humility if I waited any longer.

So I’m just gonna use my super-speed to go BING, BANG, BOOM!

Sorry, Ms. D, you don’t even get to talk anymore.

Your body regenerates super fast?

Then I’ll just have to keep going BAM! until you can’t regenerate anymore, period!

Hiyah! The BAM! won’t stop till I see you cry! Got it?!

This scythe is my ultimate weapon, you know!

A single hit would probably be enough to deal some serious damage even to Black, and I’m smacking her with it over and over like it’s nothing at all!

Hell, even I would probably die without being able to regenerate or anything under this onslaught, but I’m not letting up.

I doubt it’ll be enough to finish off that darn D!

So I’m gonna keep it up anyway just in case it works, camping her body and destroying it again every time she tries to regenerate!

Mwa-ha-ha!

Hope you like getting spawnkilled, ’cause I’m keeping this up until the end of the world!

“I’d really rather you didn’t take it that far, hmm?”

A voice speaks up behind me.

Okay, let’s put a hold on the BAM! for now!

D’s body somehow disappeared while I was repeatedly turning her into mincemeat.

Dammit, she’s good…

Well, I guess this is D’s dimension, right?

It’s probably not hard to teleport herself around in it.

It’s still kinda crazy that she pulled it off without me even noticing, though.

Also, is she casually reading my mind again or what?

“Oh, honestly. I wasn’t expecting you to make it all the way here. This place is technically quite far away from that world, you know.”

Ah, that makes sense. It was kinda hard to teleport here.

But I was able to use the little clone I stuck on Yamada as a guide to make my way here anyway.

At least you’re good for something, Yamada.

I’m still mad at you for messing up my big once-in-a-lifetime battle, though.

Hey, how was that geezer able to teleport all the way to this dimension anyway?

“Why, I made it easier to get here from the system core, of course.”

So you ARE reading my mind?!

“Oh well. I suppose this means you’ve cleared the bonus stage. I received the minimum amount of damage required, after all. And I didn’t specify who had to defeat me, so even an intruder like you gets the right to win the bonus. Congratulations.”

Looking less than amused, D produces a chair from out of nowhere and sits down.

Wait a minute, that’s a gaming chair…

“Umm…what? Okaaaay…”

The Demon Lord is standing there awkwardly, like someone whose target disappeared while her fist was still raised in the air.

I guess that is basically what happened.

But look, you were totally dead set on dying if I didn’t show up, weren’t you?

I can’t be having that, missy.

Be a good girl and live out the rest of your life span, thank you very much.

Look, your daughters are even hanging off your legs like “please don’t die, mom”…wait, HELLO?!

Ael, Sael, Riel, Fiel! Where the hell are your outer shells, huh?!

You girls are way too old to be out and about in your birthday suits! Have you no shame?!

I swear, I take my eyes off you people for one second, and suddenly everything gets weird…

“Could you not act like the sane one here when you’re the weirdest of all?”

…Is it just me, or are you being a little extra tetchy today, Ms. D?

Are you a little mad, by any chance?

“I’m not mad.”

Oh, she’s totally mad.

“I said I’m not mad.”

Okay, I get it. U mad. U mad, bro. OUGH?!

“That’s enough of that, thank you.”

What the hell was that?! Something just hit me and I don’t even know what it was?!

“Erm…”

While I’m doubled over in agony, someone quietly addresses D.

It’s Black.

Yep, he teleported here along with me.

Although he apparently transformed into a scarecrow in the process, since he was just standing there being useless while I laid the beatdown on D.

“Could someone explain what’s happening here?”

“What, that thing didn’t tell you?”

Great. Now I’m a thing.

“Only bits and pieces. This one refuses to speak to me normally…”

What, so you only got “bits and pieces” out of my desperate attempt to get through to you? I’m hurt, dude.

“Let me explain from the beginning, then.”

D proceeds to explain how she was planning to destroy half of humanity, how she offered to save the world if we could defeat her as a bonus for making it all the way here, and so on.

Gotta say, I think saving the world as a “bonus” is a pretty major sign that your priorities are waaay out of whack.

We’ve all been struggling like crazy to find a way to set the world straight somehow, and D just casually drops that she can fix everything if she feels like it, y’know?

See?! Even Black is staring at her like she’s got three heads!

“Well, I suppose I am fairly satisfied, even if I’m not thrilled with how sloppy things got at the end.”

Makes sense. It sure seems like she got her kicks, judging by how beat-up Vampy, Mr. Oni, and the others all look.

I mean, Yamada’s practically on the verge of death.

It must be that damned Divine Protection of his that made things go so smoothly in such a strange direction, right?

I bet it nudged everything to go along with his stupid “I’m not giving up!” move.

Otherwise it never would’ve all worked out in such a convenient way.

…I guess I was right to be wary of Yamada.

“Well then, I will set the goddess Sariel free. As for the system, I’ll pump energy into it until it reaches its natural end. Everyone’s skills and stats should fade away gradually on their own. That ought to keep the negative effects of losing them to a minimum, I’m sure.”

“Thank you.”

Black bows so deeply, his forehead practically hits the ground.

“Officially, I’ll still be in charge of that world, but from this point on I will participate very little. Güliedistodiez, you will take the lead from this point on. I assume you’re all right with that?”

“Yes.”

“And please don’t come crying to me if anything else happens. I got what I wanted out of that world, so I’ve lost interest. You’ll have to protect it on your own.”

“…Very well.”

“Of course, one single god does not a world make. The creatures that live there also have the power to make it better, or worse. Make sure you don’t forget that.”

The representatives of humanity nod at this statement from D.

Wait a sec, are the pontiff and Natsume gonna be okay? They’re totally soaked in blood…

“All right, this means you’ve completed the world quest.”

Looks like she sent out an announcement from the Divine Voice (temp).

What’s more, this will probably be the last time the Divine Voice is ever heard in that world.

“With that, the time has come to say good-bye. I doubt we’ll ever meet again, but do take care of yourselves, one and all.”

When D finishes speaking, teleportation runes appear beneath everyone’s feet but mine.

Hmm? Wait, why don’t I get one?

Oh well, that’s fine.

I’ll just teleport back myself, like so.

“And where do you think you’re going? You work for me now.”

Come again?