Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (LN) - Volume 6 - Chapter 1.5

THE SERVANT’S HESITATION 

I can hear the young miss’s quiet, steady breathing as she lies on the bed. 

Though she may be a nocturnal vampire, no doubt the journey thus far has tired her greatly. 

Now that she can finally sleep in a proper bed again, falling into a deep slumber is only natural. 

This comes as no surprise to me. 

As a reincarnation, the young miss has a mind that’s older than she seems, but her body is still that of a young babe. 

Truth be told, she should not be able to endure the journey we find ourselves on. 

At her age, she should be under the care of her parents, sleeping safe and sound like this every day. 

How did it come to this…? 

Merely thinking about her late parents devastates me, though I do not shed tears. 

I take a deep breath, trying to bring out the hellish depths of my despair and rein in my feelings. 

No amount of mourning will bring them back to life. 

Instead of growing despondent over the past, I should be thinking of the young miss’s future. 

Although that depends on her wishes, of course. 

No matter what choices she might make, I will simply continue protecting her with everything I have. 

That was my lord and lady’s final request to me, after all. 

Since they are gone, I must look after the young miss in their stead. 

And yet, in order to do so, there is a certain obstacle I must surmount. 

Quietly, I withdraw from the young miss’s side. 

When I step out of the bedroom, I find Lady Ariel relaxing in a chair in the living room. 

“Is little Sophia asleep?” 

“Yes. Given how much time has passed since she last slept in a proper bed, it is only natural for her to be sleeping soundly.” 

“That’s good. So you’re going back out now, right?” 

It takes me a moment to realize the meaning implicit behind her casual remark. 

“Huh? Wait, you’re not? Don’t you need blood?” 

At that, I freeze in place. 

I can sense that my face has tensed up. 

Lady Ariel is telling me to go acquire blood. 

In other words, she is telling me to attack humans. 

“I mean, it’s no skin off my back if you don’t go, but won’t that be a problem for you? Since Sophia’s a Progenitor, she doesn’t need to drink blood, but I’m pretty sure you do, don’t you? If you don’t get some soon, you’re gonna be in trouble.” 

No words are forthcoming as she prods at my painful secret. 

I became a vampire when the young miss drank my blood. 

I have no regrets about that. 

That was the only way the young miss and I could have survived that situation. 

However, while I do not harbor any regrets, I do have concerns and certain difficulties. 

Namely, the weaknesses of vampires. 

Now that I am a vampire, my body cannot survive without consuming blood. 

Not only that, but my skin burns when exposed to the sun, among other weaknesses. 

As a Progenitor, the young miss does not suffer from any of these. 

But I, her servant, do not possess the same level of resistance. 

On the journey thus far, I have avoided the light of day by donning the robe Lady White made for me, and I have subsisted on the blood of any monsters Lady White hunted. 

However, monster blood does little more than delay the inevitable. 

What my body truly craves can be found only in humans. 

Monster blood can likely sustain my life, but it will not give me the strength I need in the event of a crisis. 

As it stands, my body is already becoming heavier and my senses are growing weaker with each passing day. 

Becoming a vampire has increased my stats greatly, but if I do not partake soon, I will likely become as weak as my human self, if not even more so. 

I cannot protect the young miss like this. 

I know this, but I cannot help shrinking back from the idea of attacking someone and drinking their blood. 

The terrible conflict between my sense of duty to protect the young miss and my revulsion toward what I must do to fulfill my duty has left me at a standstill. 

“If you’re not gonna go, I dunno why we stayed in this town to begin with…” 

Lady Ariel’s grumbling strikes my ears painfully. 

I had already suspected that she brought us to this town so that I could supply myself with blood. 

Even the goods and supplies I purchased were a detour, since this has always been the main objective. 

It certainly did strike me as strange. 

Both Lady Ariel and Lady White can acquire food on their own, and given our situation, there was no need to risk entering a town. 

But Lady Ariel insisted on it, and it was really for my sake. 

“But to attack an innocent person…” 

Even knowing that she has done all this for me, I still cannot be decisive. 

“Hmm. I guess I kinda get how you feel, but you gotta grit your teeth and get down to it or it’s only gonna get worse, y’know? The more you put it off, the harder it’s gonna be in the long run, right? Better to just get it over with.” 

Lady Ariel is right, of course. 

If I keep dragging my feet, I will never be able to move forward. 

I am not human anymore. 

I am a vampire, and I must live as one from now on. 

Lady Ariel has been kind enough to guide me out of genuine concern for my well-being. 

But the conscience I carried with me as a human being rejects a vampire’s way of life. 

This stubborn feeling that I cannot quite dispel is refusing the generous guidance of Lady Ariel. 

If I open my mouth, I fear I shall say something I do not mean. Instead, I flee into the night, my mind still in turmoil. 

I wander aimlessly through the dark village. 

How pathetic I am. 

Despite my resolution to watch over the young miss, I have been preoccupied with my own misgivings all this time. 

I am in no state to protect anyone now. 

Not only that, but both the young miss and I are now being kept safe by Lady Ariel and Lady White. 

I have sworn to protect her, and yet it is I who needs to be cared for. 

And that burden has not fallen on only our two companions. 

Even the young miss herself has protected me. 

Not becoming a vampire would have meant dying that day. 

I cannot have any regrets about that. 

To do that would be tantamount to being ungrateful for staying alive. 

Besides, if I reject myself for being a vampire, then I would be rejecting the young miss as well. 

That is the one thing I will never do. 

No matter what anyone else says, I must always support the young miss. 

That is part of my duty if I am to watch over her as her parents asked of me. 

I must protect not only her body but her heart and mind as well. 

There is no path forward besides accepting that I am a vampire and living accordingly from now on. 

Even if that means committing blatantly criminal acts like assaulting someone and stealing their lifeblood. 

Right as I harden my resolve, a woman passes by before my eyes. 

She is young. 

Even as she walks in the dead of night, there is no fear in her stride, only confidence. 

At her waist is a sword that, at a glance, seems to be well used. 

Judging by her garb, she must be an adventurer. 

And she has the air of an experienced fighter, far removed from a mere novice. 

She walks unhurriedly down an empty alleyway. 

Without even thinking, I follow behind her. 

My throat swallows, catching me by surprise. 

Whether I like it or not, I am already thinking of her as my prey. 

The realization shocks me, but I do not stop. 

My instincts are telling me that this young woman’s blood is of the highest quality. 

The sight of her healthy neck, tanned by the sun, makes me want to sink in my fangs and drink deeply. 

The impulse is overpowering. 

But my sense of reason fights against those urges. 

That would be criminal, it tells me. 

However, a separate, calmer part of me is whispering over all that. 

It says that my conscience is nothing but a remnant from when I was human. 

If I am to commit to living as a vampire, I must not let human morals hold me back. 

“Excuse me.” 

Pushing down what little conflict remains inside me, I speak to the girl. 

“What is it?” She turns around calmly, evidently aware that she was being followed. 

Though her attitude is casual, her hand is ready to draw her sword at any moment. 

…How foolish can I be? 

To choose an obviously seasoned fighter as my first prey goes beyond recklessness. 

I seem to have gotten ahead of myself. 

However, I cannot turn back now. 

If I do, I doubt I will ever be able to attack another human. 

I look her squarely in the face and activate Magic Eye. 

Magic Eye is one of a vampire’s powers that applies a hypnotic effect; anyone who makes eye contact when this is activated will temporarily do whatever the user says. 

“What the—?! You’ve got some nerve, attacking me out of nowhere like that!” 

Unfortunately, the woman quickly looks away, shaking off the effect of Magic Eye. 

Not only that, but she draws her sword and slashes at me. 

I quickly dodge to the side, but my body moves faster and farther than I expected, sending me crashing into a wall. 

Damn it all! 

I’m still trying to move as I did when I was a human! 

Now that I am a vampire, my stats are far higher than they once were. If I jump with all my strength, as I might have when I was a human, of course it would end up like this. 

“Guh?!” 

As I panic, the sword pierces my shoulder, effectively pinning me to the wall. 

“What’s up with you? Your movements are all over the place—but for some reason, my gut is telling me you’re big trouble. I don’t get it.” 

She twists the sword in my shoulder. 

Pain assails my senses, but I don’t take as much damage as I expected. 

But of course. 

I am a vampire. 

I can regenerate far faster than humans. 

“Huh?!” the young woman cries in surprise. 

Still pierced by the sword, I take a step forward to reach for her neck. 

She likely thought me trapped, but of course she did not expect me to come at her if it meant pushing the sword farther into my own body. 

She quickly lets go of the sword and tries to back away, but my hand reaches her neck first. 

Grabbing hold of her, I whirl around. 

Now I am the one holding her against the wall. 

Seizing the opportunity, I look into her anguished eyes. 

“Wh…ah?!” 

I use Magic Eye at full force, at the same time tightening my hold on her neck. 

The girl tries to resist, but the pain of being strangled combined with the hypnotic power of Magic Eye is too much for her to fight. 

The light of reason vanishes from her eyes. 

Upon seeing that, I sink my fangs into her neck without a moment’s hesitation. 

“Welcome back.” 

Lady Ariel greets me, but I have not the willpower to respond. 

The most I can manage is a silent nod as I keep walking. 

“Good work out there,” she murmurs as I walk by her. 

I cannot answer that, either. Instead, I flee silently into the bedroom. 

The young miss is still sleeping peacefully on the bed. 

As soon as I see her, all the strength drains from my body, and I slump to the floor. 

Without rising, I clasp my trembling hands as if in prayer. 

My lord, my lady, Goddess. 

Please watch over the young miss. 

And please forgive me for the sins I must commit to protect her. 

My first taste of human blood was intoxicatingly sweet. 

I was nearly overwhelmed by the urge to drink every last drop. 

When I pierced my fangs into that woman, I felt the dark thrill of having total power over her. 

I managed to control myself, but I shudder to think what might have happened if I had given in to my instincts. 

I am afraid of myself. 

While the young woman was still in a daze from having her blood taken, I used Magic Eye to induce her to forget what happened tonight, but I did not stay to find out whether that worked. 

All I could think of was getting away from that place as quickly as possible. 

If I had stayed, I might have succumbed to the urge to drink her dry. 

My hands are shaking. No, the trembling is coming from my entire body. 

This is how a vampire is meant to live. 

Attacking humans, drinking their blood. 

I have no choice but to live that way from now on. 

Am I really capable of that? 

I have no regrets about becoming a vampire. 

Not a single one. 

I must force myself to have none. 

Otherwise, I cannot save the young miss. 

No one else can keep the young miss safe. 

I must be the one to protect her. 

I will never break that vow, no matter what. 

However…just for this one night, please forgive me for showing weakness. 

As my body trembles, I continue to pray.