Love Hina - Volume 1 - Chapter 1.3

CHAPTER 3: NARU AND KEITARO, ALONE 

That night, I checked my body from head to toe. I didn’t believe Kitsune completely, but since we still couldn’t reach Grandma Hinata, we had to pursue all possibilities. 
I’d never checked out my body so closely before. Weird creases and curly hairs stuck out in my mind. I ended up finding absolutely zip. I checked every crack and crevice, but there was no tattoo, no moles, no odd blotches, nothing on my skin. I decided I’d tell everyone the news at breakfast, and so I just went to sleep. 
But the next morning, I startled awake when someone entered my room. I looked up. Haitani and Shirai, my former schoolmates, stood over me. 
 
“What the hell are you doing here? And so early?” 
“No biggie,” Haitani said, peeking closer at my legs. 
I quickly tucked them up under my blankets and narrowed my eyes. 
“Were your friends, right?” Shirai said, grinning like a cat about to catch a canary. “Its been a while since we hung out with you, Urashima.” 
“Yes, a while,” Haitani agreed, snuggling closer to me. 
“We just went to the beach together, remember?” I said. 
“Oh, really?” Shirai asked and faked a laugh. 
“No way.” Haitani looked me up and down. 
I sighed. “There’s no treasure map!” 
They both laughed. “What are you talking about?” 
I just stared at them until Shirai broke down and confessed, “Well, yesterday we bumped into Sara downtown. She mentioned there might be a clue on your body.” 
Man, Shirai and Sara were both blabbermouths. 
“We didn’t take that story seriously,” Haitani rushed to explain. 
“Uh huh.” 
 
About three seconds later, both of them pounced on me and pinned my arms and legs down. “Help!” I cried. “Someone, help!” 
Kitsune poked her face in the room and smiled. It was really unusual for her to be awake this early in the morning. She took one look at my classmates and glared suspiciously. 

Haitani and Shirai let go of me immediately and exclaimed, “Hi, Kitsune!” 
“Whats going on?” she asked. 
“Oh, we thought you could help us with something . . .” Shirai started. 
“. . . So please make us your slaves,” Haitani finished. 
But Kitsune wasn’t exactly impressed. She turned her head and called out, “Suu? Sara? Do it!” 
Like ninjas, the two girls jumped silently into the room. Almost faster than the eye could see, they tied beanie hats with little turbo-powered propellers to Haitani’s and Shirai’s heads. The propellers spun furiously and the two guys floated up to the ceiling, drifted out of the window, and flew away. 

We ignored their screams. I was sure they’d be fine. 

Kitsune sat down with a serious expression on her face. “If those two heard about it,” she said, “then a lot of tourists visiting the hot springs will probably want to come looking for the Hinata House treasure too.” 

“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault,” Sara said sorrowfully. 

“It’s in the past,” Kitsune reassured her. “We need to think about how to deal with the here and now.” 

Seeing how serious these girls were about finding the treasure, I started to feel a bit guilty. Sure, it was fun having them chase after me. Of course, all the man-handling and having to constantly get naked was annoying, but part of me enjoyed the attention. But it was time to end this, once and for all. 
“I checked my own body out last night. Didn’t find a thing.” 
 
Kitsune frowned. “This calls for emergency action.” 
 
Everyone except Naru had gathered in the cafeteria. According to Shinobu, when Naru heard about the emergency meeting, she just sat at her desk and continued to study. 
I took a deep breath. “Even if lots of people have heard about the treasure, Em sure most of them don’t think it’s real. In order to rule out whether Grandma had anything important hidden away or not, please, I need someone to check my body out one last time.” 
Everyone traded concerned looks. Aunt Haruka raised her hand. “Ah, Keitaro ... It would be pretty sick if all of us took your clothes off and checked you out together” 

I nodded. “Agreed. You girls should do a drawing. That way only one girl, picked at random, will check me.” 
They all frowned. “Why?” Suu asked. 
Suu and Sara were the only ones who opposed my idea. Suu explained that she had made a new invention that could scan my entire body. But, since it was nuclear-powered and there was a high probability it would explode (like so many of her inventions) we quickly rejected that option. 
“Lets stop wasting time. Just knock him unconscious,” Sara suggested, lunging at me. But she accidentally tripped over Tama, who flew up and bounced around, landing on Motoko’s neck. 
“The turtle! The turtle!” Motoko whispered, horrified. “Get it off!” 
Motoko hated turtles. She swung her katana around like a crazy person. 
Kitsune and Haruka just poured themselves some sake and sat back to watch the show. Shinobu ran around, trying to calm Motoko down, while Suu and Sara just giggled. 
I rested my chin on my hand and smiled. No stopping the party now. 
The drawing took place that afternoon. 
Haruka and Motoko had both gone to bed early, and Kitsune was so drunk she couldn’t see straight, so the remaining three girls drew straws. 
“Oh dear, it’s me!” Shinobu said, looking a little queasy. 
Suu and Sara laughed at her and dubbed her “Keitaro Urashima’s Official Body Checker-Outer.” 
I sighed. I was a tad worried about such a young, innocent girl staring at my naked body, but what else could be done? I led her to my room with mixed feelings. 
 
“Can you see anything?” Sara whispered from behind the room’s partition. 
“Hee hee, Shinobu and Keitaro look like they’re going on a pre-arranged date.” 
I opened the door, but they both hopped on one of Suu’s inventions and bolted away. I glanced back at Shinobu, who looked seasick. 
“Shinobu, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 
“No, I’ll do it,” she said, trying to be brave. “Please let me do it.” 

I nodded and sat down beside her. We stared at each other for almost ten minutes in excruciating silence. Every time I noticed someone behind the partition, I shooed them away. 
Shinobu’s face alternated between blushing red and going stark white. I sympathized, and tried to change her mind, but Shinobu just kept repeating, “I’ll do it.” 
Finally she looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked, “You don’t want me to do it, Keitaro?” 
What could I do? 
  
I finally understood why Naru tried to check me out, yet seemed disgusted by the very idea. She was trying to spare the other girls from having to look at me. 
“I see,” I murmured. I stood up to go. 
Shinobu hastily tugged on the hem of my pants, and since my belt was loose, my pants slipped down to my ankles just like that. Shinobu was so shocked, she fell face-first onto the tatami mat. “Ow!” 
“Are you all right, Shinobu?” 
“Yes. But where are you going, Keitaro?” 
Normally, I wouldn’t leave a damsel in distress behind, but I had to get out of there. I’ll be the first to admit it—I’m a wimp. “I’m such a fool. I can’t do this with just anyone. I’m sorry.” 
 
Somehow, I ended up going to Naru’s room. She didn’t even look up when I entered. I sat on the other side of her desk, wondering how to strike up a conversation. 
Naru looked like she could care less if I stayed, or curled up and died on the floor. She simply continued to write furiously in her notebook. The only sound in the room was the scratching of her pencil. 
“Well,” I began. “I really don’t get girls.” 
Naru remained silent, scratching away. 
I continued, “Why were you mad about Kitsune? And why was Motoko mad about you and I. . . ? Maybe the reason was . . .” 
Underneath the desk, my leg accidentally brushed against Naru’s—it felt soft and silky and I got so distracted that I stopped in mid-sentence. I thought she’d give me a Naru Kick or a Naru Punch, but she didn’t do a thing. 
Maybe she just didn’t notice we were touching. 
But her pencil stilled. Her hands didn’t move. We both sat there, frozen. 
Finally she pulled her legs back and said, “What?” 
“What what?’ ” I asked, confused. 
 
“Maybe the reason was what?” 
Oh, she was asking me to finish my sentence. I don’t even really remember what I was talking about. I just didn’t have the right words to ask why the Hinata House girls seemed to hate me, but acted a little jealous over me. I figured I’d skip it and just jump to the point. 
“Can you look?” 
“At what?” she asked. 
“The treasure map.” 
Naru threw her pencil at my head. “What a dope!” 
I sighed. “Yep. I’m a dope.” 
“You didn’t want me to do it when I tried!” 
“I know. I still don’t want you to,” I said. 
She shrugged. “So just quit the whole thing.” 
I cleared my throat. “I don’t want to show my body to anyone, not even you.” 
Naru looked hurt. She bit her lip. 

“But,” I quickly said, “if I had to show it to someone, you are the only person that comes to mind, Narusegawa. I can only imagine it would be you. No one else.” 
Naru stood up and yelled, enraged, “What do you mean, ‘imagine it would be me?’ You’re telling me you fantasize about me checking you out? Pervert!” 
“That’s n-n-not what I meant!” I stammered. 
“Oh really?” She stomped her foot. 
I just shook my head and sat there, looking stupid. I’m no good with words, and when talking to Naru, it always turns into a disaster. 
She stared down at me coldly, then sighed and threw up her hands in exasperation. “Strip! Let’s just get this ridiculous thing over with so I can get back to my studies!” 
I’d actually pictured Naru taking my clothes off, but I knew better than to say that out loud. I didn’t have a death wish. 
This was weird. 
I’d been checked over by Kitsune twice, and Suu and Sara that one time in my sleep. Naru did all the same things they’d done. But unlike Kitsune’s sexually aggressive style, or Suu and Saras painful explorations, Naru stayed extremely calm and gentle. Her feather-light touches titillated me, and I struggled to contain my excitement. 

I stripped and lay down on the table. Naru checked me over inch by inch. My whole body tingled. The fact that I was naked and she wasn’t kinda sparked the situation even more. Several times I had to resist the urge to embrace her. 
Naru was strictly professional about the whole thing. I’d hoped she didn’t want the other girls to see my body because she secretly felt possessive of me. But the more objectively Naru conducted her search, the more I realized that was just a hopeless fantasy. 
Maybe she’s really just after the treasure. Maybe she just wants itfor herself and was mad at the other girls looking at me because she didn’t want to share! 
It didn’t really matter to me. I was in heaven with her so close to me, and the pleasurable sensations of her touch dulled any anger or shock I might have had. If anyone was going to discover the treasure, I’d want it to be Naru. 

I didn’t get girls. I don’t think I ever will. But if treasure would make Naru happy, then I’d be happy too. 

“There. Isn’t this it?” Naru asked. She pointed at something between my shoulder blades. I couldn’t quite reach it. 

“There are a few bumps here,” she said. “It looks like the layout of the Hinata House complex.” 

“Really?” 

“Here’s the south building, here’s the north one . . . and this large bump between those two—isn’t it the old annex?” 

I pictured the Hinata House grounds in my mind. Naru was talking about the small additional building that was situated in the gap that was shaped like a “V.” The annex had been boarded up ever since I was a child. 
“There? But it’s dangerous. Grandma said never to enter it. The floors are probably rotten . . .” 
BAM! BOOM! 
 
A dull pain bloomed at the back of my head and then I passed out. 
 
I don’t know how long I was unconscious, and I didn’t bother looking at my watch. I ran out of Naru’s room, cut through the inner lawn, and raced past the pond and to the old annex. 
The wooden panels that normally covered the entrance had been peeled off, and the dusty foyer'had footprints leading inside. I fainted again. 
Shinobu eventually shook me awake. “Naru is gone,” she said. 
I felt a large, gnarly bump on the back of my head. Naru must have whacked me with one of her big, thick schoolbooks. 
 
“I wonder if Narusegawa wanted the treasure badly enough to kill me?” I joked, rubbing my aching head. I never thought Naru would actually knock me out. 
I told Shinobu my story and she reluctantly looked at my back (her cheeks blazing all the while, of course.) 
She tilted her head. “Keitaro, I think this is just a heat rash.” 
“Huh?” 
She handed me her compact mirror. I twisted around and peeked—sure enough, there were a bunch of little hives just under my shoulder blades. But. . . Naru had said the bumps looked like the layout of the Hinata House ... I guess that’s just what she wanted to see. 
Besides, Grandma could do a lot of irritating things to me, but she couldn’t give me a permanent heat rash. 
Nevertheless, Naru must have thought she’d found the true map. 
The sun started to set. There wasn’t any more timeN for idle speculation. If I didn’t get to Naru soon, she’d be stuck in that dangerous building, lost with no lights. 
I started toward the annex when Shinobu said, “I’m going too.” 
 
“Oh, no you’re not,” I insisted. “If I don’t come out soon, you have to go get help.” 
Shinobu looked disappointed, but nodded. 
As I expected, the annex smelled like earth and wet, nasty mold. The hallway was dark and eerie, practically buried in dirt. 
“Naru? Hey, Narusegawa!” I called out. “Are you there? It’s really dangerous in here!” There was no answer. 
I searched every room on the first floor. They were all built Western-style and it reminded me of an old European hotel. 
I didn’t see hide nor hair of Naru. 
“Narusegawa!” I hollered as loud as I could. 
SHOOM! SMASH! 
The chandelier came crashing down, slightly grazing my side. I squinted up at the ceiling. The fastenings must have rusted over time and just couldn’t support its weight. 
 
This place was honestly dangerous. I quickly dashed back to the foyer. Then I noticed an obscure set of stairs behind a thick column. It had to have been the back steps for employees. 
As I climbed the staircase, I heard a faint giggle. It totally creeped me out. This place was an ideal horror movie set, I swear. 
“Na-Narusegawa?” I tried to sound manly, but it came out in an embarrassing squeak. 
The giggling suddenly stopped. 
Then I heard Naru. “Keitaro, you are such a dope!” 
I ran up the stairs. Naru was in the room on the right. She looked down at the floor, where dozens of papers were strewn and scattered around her feet. 
She laughed so hard, she looked possessed. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I’d never seen her giggle so much. 
“A real dope,” she said, pointing at me. 
“Ah, yeah ... I guess I’m not all that smart, but. 
“Keitaro Urashima!” Naru said happily, her voice echoing strangely. “Third grade, second quarter, science test score—twenty-three points!” 
 
“What? What’s that?” I asked, stepping forward. 
Naru ignored me and picked up another sheet of paper. “Third grade, first quarter, math test score—thirty points.” 
She picked up another. “Second grade, second quarter, literature—twenty-five points!” 
I picked up one of the stray papers. At the top was my childish handwriting: Keitaro Urashima. There were about a bazillion red marks and a devastatingly low score emblazoned on the bottom. 
Naru cupped her cheek and tried to stop laughing. “These are all your old test forms. You sure had terrible grades, even as early as elementary school!” 
“Not all of them,” I protested. “I just hid the really bad ones . . . But what are they all doing here—ah ha!” 

I remembered. During my elementary school years, I had a bunch of bad grades I didn’t want my parents to see. I used to hide them in my desk drawer, but I was afraid my folks would find them. So one winter when I visited Grandma, I showed them to her, and asked her to keep them secret. 

Grandma had smiled and said she’d hide my precious things in a safe place. 
I never expected that she’d put them here , though. 
“So, this was the treasure?” Naru asked. “ ‘Keitaro’s secret, important thing?’ ” 
I nodded. “When Grandma called, it was probably about these. She probably wanted Aunt Haruka to get them out of the rubble, since this place is falling apart.” 
It still didn’t make sense though—Naru figured out coming here just by looking at my totally random heat rash. It was like . . . fate. 
“Maybe it was just dumb luck,” Naru suggested. 
“Lucky or not, we finally found the treasure.” 
Naru chuckled as she picked up all the papers. 
I was relieved, but a little disappointed. It was like finding out Moby Dick was really a goldfish or something. All that hype for nothing. “Maybe we shouldn’t show these to Kitsune. She’ll probably flip her lid.” 
I imagined I’d have to wait on her hand and foot until she forgave me. 
 
“Or Shinobu,” Naru said. “She’ll be crushed if she learns you were such a bad student.” 
I could just see Shinobu struggling to hold back her tears when she heard. 
“What should I do with these?” Naru teased, holding the papers just out of reach. “Think I should just show all the girls?” 
“Give them back,” I demanded, reaching for them. 
“No way,” Naru said playfully, snatching them away. She hid them behind her back. “I found them. If you want them back, you’ll have to pay. Or else, every time you do something perverted, I’ll show everyone one of these!” 
“I won’t do anything perverted!” 
“You peep at us in the bathtub.” 
I blanched. “Not much . . .” 
“You’ve actually jumped in the women’s bath!” 
“That wasn’t my fault!” I insisted. 
 
“If something like that happens again, I’ll post one of these tests up at the front entrance!” 
I looked closely at Naru. She was smiling, but I could tell she was kinda upset that this whole mess had been over something so silly. It wouldn’t take much to make her vengeful, I figured. 
“Please, give them back,” I pleaded. 
“Not on your life! Stay back!” She sidled away, scooping up bunches of papers. 
“They belonged to me!” 
“They’re mine now!” 
“Give them back!” I lunged forward to grab my tests, but I accidentally grabbed Naru’s breast instead ... It felt like I was squeezing a soft marshmallow. 
Naru’s face turned fire-engine red. 
“Pervert!” she bellowed. 
Just as she was about to attack me, the floor beneath us cracked and split. Naru fell flat on her rear. She pulled me down with her, and I landed with my hands full of primo-Naru-booby. 
“Narusegawa, are you hurt?” 
She groaned. “I twisted my ankle . .. Hey! How much longer are you gonna grope me?” 
 
I realized I was still fondling her breasts. Normally, I would have let go and headed for the hills, but I didn’t want to today. I wanted to stay close like this for a little longer, touch her some more . . . 
“Na-Narusegawa . . . I’m sorry,” I whispered. I still didn’t let go. 
“So shove off already!” she demanded, pushing me away. 
We sat up. I blushed. “I meant, I’m sorry that this wasn’t the treasure you were hoping for.” 
Naru looked at me like she was really peeved. “Did you really think I was just after some stupid treasure?” 
I fidgeted. “Ah, well . . .” She had checked me over so seriously—and even bonked me on the head to knock me out, just to get to the treasure. 
“You think I’m that kind of girl? You’d think I’d strip you naked just for a fortune?” She glared at me. “I’m glad the only thing here are these stupid papers! That way, you can’t leave!” 

I blinked, totally confused. “I was going somewhere?” 

“I heard you talking with Kitsune in the bathroom. If you guys had found a fortune, you were going to run away together, remember?” 

“Naru,” I countered, “a man being smothered by giant breasts is liable to agree to any crazy scheme!” 

Naru looked furious. “Maybe you were just playing around, but the only reason you’re staying at the Hinata House is because you’re broke, right, Keitaro?” 
I shrugged. “Yeah.” 
“So, it stands to reason that if you found a large amount of money, you could live anywhere else you wanted, right?” 
“Uh, sure, but...” I was totally flummoxed. 
“Ah! Who cares?! Stay here or not, no great loss!” She threw the papers high up in the air. They fell to the floor like little white clouds. “But it would be really tough on us girls without a manager, and Suu and Shinobu would actually miss you, and . . .” 
 

I was such a dope. This whole time, I’d had no clue. Naru wanted me to stay. 
“Narusegawa. The reason I stay here isn’t because I’m poor. It’s because . . .” 
“Yeah?” 
My heart pounded in my ears. I moved closer to her. Her lips were slighdy parted, and her eyes sparkled, and she smelled like cherry blossoms. If you could forget the dark, wet, moldy surroundings, the mood was pretty romantic. 
Naru’s eyelashes fluttered. Swallowing I moved closer. “I stay because of y—” 
Just then, the ceiling crashed in around us. Of course. 
Sara whooped as the Mecha Tama (Suu’s flying turtle machine) broke through the roof and crash-landed into the second-story floor. Motoko, Suu, Shinobu, and Sara all rode on its giant metallic back. 

“Hey, you guys, get out of the way, will ya?” Suu shouted. 
But it was too late. The mechanical turtle pulled Naru and I along as it crashed through two floors and finally burrowed deep into the basement. 
The machine wheezed and then finally broke. We were all trapped inside the hole it had created when it landed. We couldn’t budge the machine an inch, and if we moved around, the walls could crumble down around us at any moment. 
“Thanks,” Naru murmured. “What the hell were you doing?” 
“Motoko said we had to hurry,” Kitsune explained. “So we may have been a little careless.” 
“I said ‘hurry.’ I didn’t say to barge in on the back of a giant turtle!” Motoko insisted. 
“Oh dear,” Shinobu said. “Look. The sun is already down.” 
I looked up. It was going to be a very long, dark, hot summer night. 
Most people would probably consider this a crisis. But this is just normal for the Hinata House. I usually would, have panicked, but I was too preoccupied. 
Naru was pressed up against me. We both squeezed together in the small space, our limbs entangled. I noticed that Naru pointedly hid my test papers behind her back, so the other girls wouldn’t see. 
Why is Naru keeping my secret? I wondered. 
If I believed what she’d said, then Naru probably wanted to find the treasure before I did and hide it to prevent me from leaving. She’d threatened to use the test papers against me, but now she was keeping them safe. 
In my whole life, I’d never had a girl care about me, or do something nice for me. It was hard for me to trust Naru. After all, I didn’t get girls. This was probably just another one of my dumb fantasies. 
But I kinda wanted to believe it. If it were true, if Naru really did care for me, then, I’d be really happy. 
I don’t get girls. But I still keep hoping . . .