Love Hina - Volume 2 - Chapter 1.1

PART I: MECHANICAL PERVERT

CHAPTER I: THE FORBIDDEN PLAY 
Warns wild outbreaks stopped completely in December. The reason was simple. 
“Naru, please help me again!” Shinobu, arms laden with study tools, wobbled into Narus room. 

“Well study some more today, Shinobu,” Naru said and smiled, just like she had done when Keitaro was there. 
Shinobu was preparing to take the high school entrance exam, so Naru, the Todai student, was tutoring her. Once she took over what used to be Keitaros task, she stopped going crazy. 
But the Hinata House was still full of troubles, and it was not the greatest place to study. 
Shinobu was not made for studying hard. 
 
She hoped to get into the prefectures top-ranked public school, M High, and that was really tough to do. So the extra-hard questions and problems caused her to bump into an emotional wall, making her teary-eyed. She whimpered, “I can’t do this at all!” almost every day. 

“Yes, you can,” Naru would say, consoling her. “Even that doofus Keitaro made it into Todai.” 

Naru tried to comfort her, but instead, the tears grew larger and Shinobu bawled, “Urashima!” 

Instead of being comforted, the mention of Shinobus favorite tutor caused her to cry even more. This scene would repeat day in and day out, so Naru had a hard time tutoring. 

At the same time, another of the Hinata House girls was also busy studying. Motoko was preparing for the college entrance exams, and that added to Naru’s headache. 

In Motokos case, she didn’t rely on Naru much and would study on her own, but upon closer inspection, she spent most of her time almost in a trance, scribbling strange kanji characters in her notebook. These strange characters were actually ancient symbols used for her family’s shin mei ryu spiritual practices, but because at best they were protoJapanese pictographs, they weren’t exactly helpful. 

Eventually, Motoko would come to. Then she would run outside, strip off her clothes, grab a bucket of water from the well and splash it on her head. This would repeat day in and day out, so of course her studies didn’t progress much. 

“Motoko, aren’t you bathing more often than you actually study?” Naru would ask. But whenever she said that, Motoko would be shocked, grab a dagger, and yell, “Sorry!” Then she would try to commit ritual suicide. 

“Don’t do it!” Nam would cry. 

Where else in the world does a building manager so often have to prevent a residents ritual suicide? But with no time to think of things like that, Naru just did her best to stop Motoko. She rarely had a chance to rest. 

Kitsune and Mutsumi were definitely not people Naru could count on, either. Both of them were set in their own ways, and inevitably interrupted the others’ study time, which was yet another cause for Nams seemingly permanent headache. 

Kitsune would guzzle alcohol during the day, fluctuate between hope and despair during horse races, and take midday naps under the sun. And any time she ran out of money, she’d take a part-time job, living at her own pace. 

“Study hard, Motoko and Shinobu,” she would say cheerily. “I’m rooting for you guys!” 

She probably meant that, but seeing as how those words came from the “queen of freeloaders,” Motoko and Shinobu would, instead of getting motivated, do exactly the opposite. 

If slacking off was a competition, initially Mutsumi tied with Kitsune. What was so strange was that Mutsumi was a Todai student, just like Keitaro and Naru, so Shinobu and Motoko really looked up to her. But when asked how she studied to get into college, Mutsumi replied, “Our family’s traditional pencil rolling technique of finding answers,” or, “turtle shell fortunetelling,” so Shinobu and Motoko lost their will to study after hearing such nonsense. 

Once, Naru cautioned, “No, Mutsumi. Don’t say stuff like that. It’s upsetting.” 

Mutsumi simply replied, “Oh my, I didn’t notice that. By the way...” 
Naru looked at her quizzically.

Mutsumi smiled. “Did you know that when you avoid the dark stripes of the watermelon when you slice it, you can’t see the seeds?” 

Naru just frowned. The inside of Mutsumi’s head was harder to navigate than the Bermuda Triangle, and these and other perplexing statements stuck in Naru’s brain, which caused even more headaches. 

Even so, the troubles caused by these girls weren’t that bad. The biggest troublemakers by far were Suu and Sara. The playful pair would barge into the room and cause direct damage to everyone in their path. Sometimes the ruckus involved heavy machinery. 

Today was a quiet afternoon at the Hinata House. 

Kitsune jumped around, happy to have won some cash on her bets, and Mutsumi was at classes. Shinobu was doing unusually well, studying at a good pace. But after an hour had passed, an ominous vibration ran through the room.
 
“An earthquake?!” Naru asked in a serious tone.
 
Shinobu clung to her and whimpered, “Oh, help ...” 

Her words were cut off by the appearance of a humanoid robot, which suddenly broke up through the floor. 

“Th-thats—!” 

Shinobu recognized the face on the robot—specifically ihe three-eyed design and lips. It had the same face of the machine previously used for Shinobu’s first kiss practice, and the one that also stole Motoko’s first kiss (though she never counted it as one), the “Kiss Practice Machine KRISHNA.” 

Of course, the original KRISHNA’S bottom half was a tank, but this robot was different. Layered around a NASAgrade titanium frame were artificial muscles made of silicon, which were capable of conducting electric current, making it similar in form to a humans lower body. It was nuclear battery-powered, and its sensors categorized what it saw. This killer machine, programmed to regard all moving objects as the enemy, was called “INDRA” after the Hindu god of war. 

There was only one person in the Hinata House who could make such a heinous creation. Well, one person in the world, really. 

“Let’s do it!” Suu jumped into the room, armed with a huge gun. 

Sara, right behind her, was also heavily armed. “Show time!”
 
Narus room turned into a war zone. 

Heavy machine gun fire, laser beams, and grenades flew about. Naru and Shinobu feared for their lives as they dove to avoid the shrapnel. 
 
Suu and Sara didn’t so much as blink as they gleefully continued the battle. 
“Aw! Senpai!” Shinobu cried, quivering. “Someone do something!” 

A saving grace arrived: Mo toko, unable to take the noise, came rushing in with a sword. “Die!” 

She swung downward with her aura-filled blade, and with one slice INDRA split into two pieces and fell apart. 

Suu blinked. “Drat, its busted!" 

Sara was irked and yelled, “Why’d you do that, Motoko?!” 

£ Tm studying!" Motoko bellowed, then composed herself. “Could you keep it down, please?" 

“Motoko is right," Naru said angrily. “If you want to play, do it outside!”
 
“Naru, why are you so pissed?” Suu asked. 

“Just go play outside!” Naru stamped her foot. 

Scolded, Suu and Sara picked up the smoldering remnants of the destroyed INDRA and slunk out of the room. 
 
“This is boring,” Suu complained as she munched on her favorite snack-—bananas. 

“Totally.” Sara sulked. 

The two girls were a little restless. Up until recently, they could both yell “Keitaro, lets play!” and crash into his room to pull all sorts of mischievous stunts. Punches and kicks were the norm, but experimenting on him with various machines and clobbering him with newly unearthed artifacts was fun, as well. 

But those good times were over, now that Keitaro was studying abroad. 

“Its that idiots fault for going overseas,” Sara muttered. 

Suu gobbled her banana and nodded. Suddenly, a bright idea flashed through her mind. “Hey! If Keitaro isn’t here, then why don’t we just make our own Keitaro?” 

“That’s the dumbest idea I ever heard ” Suu said morosely as she looked at the remnants of INDRA. Then she smiled slyly. 

A few days passed. 
 
For a while, it was quite peaceful—one might say suspiciously so. Naru noticed that Suu and Sara in particular seemed unusually quiet. 

Maybe I scolded them too harshly, she thought, so she decided to discuss it with Kitsune and Mutsumi in the Hinata House lobby. 

“What do you think?” 

“No way, that ain’t possible,” Kitsune said. “Suu and Sara wont crawl into a shell and hide after a scolding or two, you know.” 

Tama, who was hiding behind Naru’s legs, thought they were talking about him, so he asked, ‘Myu?” 

Mutsumi replied, “Not you.” 

“Myu myu?” 

“Yes. It’s about Suu and Sara.” 

Naru sighed. “What do you think, Mutsumi?” 

“Oh my, fm sorry. I wasn’t paying attention,” Mutsumi replied. “But those two should be fine. In fact, I saw both of them having fun today . . .” 

According to Mutsumis eyewitness account, Suu and Sara had sported big smiles on their faces as they shopped at the Hinata Do It Yourself store. “When I said hi to them, they asked weird questions,” Mutsumi continued, nodding to herself. 

“Weird questions?” Naru asked. 

“They wanted me to talk about my memories with Urashima.” 

“They asked me that, too,” Kitsune broke in, and added that Shinobu and Motoko were also asked to recount their memories with Keitaro. “They bugged me about it so much that I told them about all the stuff I did with Keitaro.” 

“Maybe they also felt lonely with him gone?” Naru wondered. 

“Also? What do you mean by ‘also , 5 Naru?” Kitsune looked offended. “Is there someone else who feels lonely without that idiot in our lives?” 

“Ah . . .” Naru blushed. She had inadvertently let her feelings out. “W-well . . . like, Shinobu . . 

Kitsune grinned viciously. “You sure? Naru, you’re red as a tomato.” 

Flustered, she tried to change subjects by asking Mutsumi, “What were Suu and Sara shopping for?” 

“Electronic parts, concrete, cement, all kinds of stuff.” 
 
She shrugged. “I was there to buy my special watermelon knife.” Mutsumi suddenly whipped out a yard-long knife and pointed it at their faces. 

Naru flinched. 

Kitsune broke out in a cold sweat and stammered, “Thi liat sword looks like something an ancient Chinese warrior would use!” 

“Its not a sword, its a cutting knife that you use like . . . this!” Mutsumi swung the large knife above her head, but suddenly froze in place and started to waver. 

“What’s wrong?!” asked Naru. 

Sweat broke out on Mutsumi’s smiling face. “Well, it was I ine on the way up, but . . It appeared that her body locked up because she couldn’t handle the weight of the huge knife. “What shall I do, Naru?” 

“Don’t come this way with that dangerous thing!” 

“I-I’m sorry! I’m trying not to come this way but. . . my body isn’t listening . . .” 

“Hey! Don’t come here!” Kitsune commanded. 
 
Naru and Kitsune broke away from each other, as Mutsumi teetered left and right with the huge knife above her head. To an outsider, it looked like she was doing it on purpose or something. Eventually, Mutsumi’s arms quivered so badly she pleaded, “Please, I can’t hold it anymore . . and the knife swung down inches from Naru and Kitsune. Both of them shivered in fear. 

In a life-or-death moment, a persons true personality shows. Kitsune grabbed Naru and used her as a human shield to protect herself. 

The large, lethal-looking knife hovered centimeters over Naru’s head, looming closer. 

“Help!” Naru cried. 

The big knife barely missed her by a hair as it sank deep into to the floor of the lobby. 

Naru’s entire body was frozen, rooted to the spot. Her cheek twitched. Severed strands of her hair wisped down to the floor. 

“Oh my, that was close!” Kitsune said. “Naru, are you all right?” 

Naru just stared, quivering. 

“Naru, snap out of it!” 

Suddenly Narus ashen face flushed with anger. “IVe had it with both of you!” she cried. 

“Uh-oh, she’s pissed!” Kitsune said to Mutsumi. “Time to run!” 

Kitsune and Mutsumi scrambled away from the scene, fortunately for them, Naru couldn’t chase after them—right when she started to run, a hairline tear in her clothes split apart. 

“Huh?” She gasped. 

Naru, now in her underwear, shrieked. She immediately rlenched her fist and said, “You pervert!” Then she threw out a powerful punch.
 
But of course Keitaro wasn’t there, so her punch met only air. 

“Ah . . Narus eyes filled with tears, her eyelashes buttered, and then she fainted. Minutes later, she came to, just like always. 

Mutsumi and Kitsune were hiding behind a column, watching with great interest. 

“Just like Pavlovs dog,” Kitsune snickered. 

“Is there a dog around here?” Mutsumi said, looking around. “Where is it?” 
 
Kitsune rolled her eyes. “Duh, I meant that it was a learned behavior—-a Pavlovian response.” 

“ ‘Learned, behavior’ ?” 

“You should know about this, since you’re a Todai student. It’s Doctor Pavlovs famous experiment .” 

“Yes, 1 know,” Mutsumi said, somewhat defensively. “You ring a bell every time you feed a dog, so eventually the dog only has to hear the bell ring and the person gets the urge to feed the dog. That experiment, right?” 

Kitsune looked at Mutsumi like she was nuts. “Yeah, close enough, I guess.”
 
They both knew that anytime Naru was a victim of a perverted incident, she automatically assumed that Keitaro was the culprit and reacted with violence. It appeared that her body was now conditioned to do that. 

“So, even if her brain doesn’t think about him, her body remembers Keitaro,” Kitsune said. 

“Wow, that sounds a little kinky.” 

Naru just stood there. She couldn’t forget Keitaro, after all, and she was dumbstruck by that realization. 

That night, Naru had trouble going to sleep. 
 
She thought that she had. calmed down, but she was still in shock, and she missed Keitaro more than ever. 

“Naru, are you still up?” Suu entered the room just as Naru got out of her futon. 

“What brings you here this late?” Naru asked. 

“I wanted to ask you something,” Suu said, in an unusually well-behaved way. Naru thought that Suu really missed Keitaro too, so she was prepared to recount her memories of the young man with nostalgia. 

“You want to ask about Keitaro, right?” 

“Yeah! Gee, Naru, howd you know?” Suu asked, her eyes wide with surprise.
 
Naru took a deep breath and began to talk. 

SIte and Keitaro had first met two years eariler in autumn. Technically speaking, it was October 19, 1998—after two years of failing the Todai entrance exams and studying for the s bird attempt, Keitaro was kicked out of his parents’ house nnd moved to his grandmothers inn on that very day. 

But his grandmother was on a trip around the world. 

On top of that, the lodge had turned into an all-girl dorm . . . But he hadn’t known about any of the that. He first encountered Naru in the hot springs—when they were both buck-naked—and then Keitaro ran into Kitsune and the other girls, and he was accused of being an exhibitionist and a pervert. It was a chaotic scene. 

After that, Keitaro was mistaken for being a Todai student (of course, the fact that he didn’t deny it only added to the problem) so they allowed him to stay at Hinata House as an exception to the girls-only rule. But of course, Keitaro’s lie didn’t last very long. 

And so Keitaro was not only forced out of the Hinata House, but also banished from the town. Before he left, he tried to take a photo of himself in a photo booth, but Naru jumped in the picture as a joke. Fate played an even bigger trick that day, however. 

His grandmother had sent a fax transferring all rights to the Hinata House to Keitaro, so instead of leaving, he became the dorm manager and lived under the same roof with Naru and the girls. 

Suu smiled as she heard this part of the story. 

“That’s right,” she said. “Keitaro was an exhibitionist and a pervert at first. I totally forgot about that! I need to input that later.” 

“Input?” 

“Oh nothing,” Suu said, quickly changing the subject. “So, what next?” she asked, but Naru was stuck. So many (hings had happened since then . . . but amid all the day-today commotion, Keitaro and Naru had become close. 

They hadn’t said they liked each other yet. There was still a bit of doubt. They even tried to kiss each other, but they were both so clumsy and had such bat! timing that it never worked out. . . But Naru couldn’t possibly admit that. 

“It’s really late, so we should continue this later,” Naru said. 

“Roger! See ya,” Suu answered, without having any sort of fit at all as she left the room. 

After talking about Keitaro, Naru had calmed down a bit, so she crawled back into her futon and started drifting off to sleep. 

Just then, the door slid open slightly, and someone peered in. Naru, half-asleep, looked at the face and mumbled, “Who’s there . . . ?” 
 
No one answered, and Nam drifted off again. Then the shadow in the doorway shifted slightly, its face illuminated by the light from the hall. 
It was Keitaro, smiling.