Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 11 - Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Just a Story About People Who Want to Eat Some Tasty Meat

“Good day. I am a merchant.”

A lone merchant arrived before the gate of a certain city.

The gate guard looked the merchant over and greeted her after a perfunctory bow. “Ah, welcome to the Land of Greenery and Harmony.” But his eyes looked a little suspicious of her.

The young woman who had introduced herself as a merchant was dressed in a black robe and a black pointed hat. She was obviously a mage and wore a star-shaped brooch upon her breast. In short, she was a witch.

As far as the guard could remember, it was the first time someone who was a witch and also a merchant had visited the city. Thinking it was a strange turn of events, the guard started the usual immigration procedures.

“What is the purpose of your visit today?”

“Transporting a package, of course. I am a merchant, after all.” The witch patted the parcel that was tied to the end of her broom, insisting again for some reason that she was a merchant.

“I see, a package… What’s inside?”

“Some freshly harvested vegetables. They’re fresh.”

“Oh really, vegetables? That’s wonderful! What kind?”

“Huh? Um…just a minute, please.” The witch pulled a slip of paper out from her breast pocket. “Uh, it’s lettuce.”

“Lettuce, is it?! I have heard the flavor of fresh lettuce from one of the neighboring lands has quite the reputation!” The guard’s voice grew lively as soon as the talk turned to vegetables.

“Apparently so.”

“So then, may I be allowed to inspect the package?” Then the gate guard took one step toward the merchant.

But she stubbornly refused this request.

“It will reduce their freshness, so please do not,” she said somewhat stiffly while looking at the slip of paper.

She was extremely suspicious.

“I see! I suppose that’s true. Excuse me for asking. Please pass on through.”

But the guard was struck with a sense of duty to allow the fresh heads of lettuce to be delivered quickly and let her pass as she was. That guard’s shortcoming was being extremely lax in judgment when it came to vegetables.

Ultimately, the witch-turned-merchant made it into the city without any issue.

“Oh, by the way, Miss Merchant?”

Just as she was passing through the gate, the guard called out to her.

She jumped, startled, and turned around, obviously on her guard. “Huh? Wh-wh-wh-what is it?” she asked in a shrill voice. By that time, it was clear that she was feeling guilty about something, but the guard did not seem to notice how she was acting.

“Sorry. I forgot to ask your name,” he said.

Ah, right, of course.

By the way, who on earth could that merchant have been?

“Elaina.”

That’s right, it’s me.

How do you do? My name is Algram. I live in the Land of Greenery and Harmony. Actually, there’s a request I would like to make of an honest merchant like yourself, and I wonder if you would be kind enough to hear me out?

When you are a witch wandering from place to place, sometimes you are asked to transport packages. In fact, just the other day, as I was transporting a slime, I accepted a merchant’s request for me to transport a number of other packages.

At the moment, I was handling one of those jobs.

Apparently, it was a bit of an unusual job, because the merchant and the customer had corresponded several times by letter.

Now I had those numerous letters in hand.

The more I looked at them, the stranger the request seemed.

I want to have you secretly smuggle meat into my city.

And it seemed to be quite a strange place.

At present, eating meat is prohibited in the Land of Greenery and Harmony. Previously, though the price was high, there were ways to acquire meat, but recently the regulations have gotten stricter, and even the sale of meat is now prohibited here. I have no means of acquiring meat anymore.

I had gotten a sense of the situation in the Land of Greenery and Harmony from the exchanges in the letters, but sure enough, when I really walked around and had a look, I didn’t see any restaurants on the streets that looked like they served meat. Filling my field of vision to capacity were slogans I didn’t really understand, like EATING VEGETABLES IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH and EAT VEGETABLES AND HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE as well as words like ORGANIC and HEALTHY.

What has happened to my homeland?!

In his letters, Algram was indignant.

When I was young, we could eat meat freely. But in today’s world, people look at you with disgust if you so much as request it. Undoubtedly, the children who are raised being taught that meat is evil will only make meat harder to find here. It’s so sad…

There was a torrent of eloquent writing, but in short, he wanted to eat meat, so he wanted me to smuggle it in.

When you first enter the city, there will likely be an inspection of belongings. But if you tell them you are transporting fresh lettuce, they may let you pass. In the event that the guard asks you to show them what’s inside the package, you shouldn’t have any trouble as long as you say, “It will reduce their freshness, so please do not!”

According to the letter, there were many people there who loved vegetables to an excessive degree, and for the most part as long as I said something along those lines, I would be able to get in without any issues. And I had. I was developing a bit of a headache.

I’d like you to be precise about the date when you deliver the meat to me. There are things I must prepare to align with the timing of your delivery.

Together with these instructions in the final letter was enclosed a map leading to Algram’s house.

It was currently the appointed date and time, according to the merchant who had entrusted this job to me, which probably meant this Algram person was waiting eagerly at home for his meat to show up.

And so, carefully examining the map, I set off to deliver the fresh meat to his place.

Well then, I look forward to the arrival of my esteemed courier, concluded the letter.

By the way…

I had made it to what appeared to be the location of Algram’s house on the map, but…

“…………”

I stood motionless before the front gate.

It looked like a reasonably nice two-story house. It probably belonged to a family that wasn’t quite wealthy but still led a fairly comfortable lifestyle. The entire lawn was covered in grass and was spacious enough that the people who lived there could enjoy, for example, barbecues on the weekend. It was pretty.

“Here we go, Clery! Grilling meat slowly is the most delicious way. If we get the heat level wrong, our meat will turn into charcoal in an instant.”

Actually, that’s what they were doing right at that moment.

I could see two people standing around a barbecue grill in the yard. It looked like they had already started their barbecue, for smoke was rising up from the grill grate.

The one who had just been speaking looked to be a man in his twenties. His hair was red. He was tall and had an average build, but his voice alone had a very bombastic tone to it. Somehow, that man seemed likely to be Algram.

“But, big brother…”

Across from the man I was assuming was Algram, looking up at him timidly, was Clery—the boy who had been called by that name. He looked to be about ten years old. Clery had red hair just like the man who appeared to be Algram. He had a slim build and pale skin and somehow gave off the impression of being frail.

I could tell from their conversation that the two of them were brothers.

Looking up questioningly at his older brother, then staring at the smoke rising from the grill, Clery grumbled, “That is just an ordinary tree branch, though…?”

Right after he said that, flames rose above the grill grate.

“That’s right, it’s a tree branch!” Algram said enthusiastically, gazing at the flames that danced above the grate. “Are you ready, Clery? We’re going to grill some meat. But I wonder how it’ll go? Don’t you think we ought to do a practice run with everything?”

“I don’t think a tree branch counts as practice…”

“Sure it does! This counts! Close your eyes now, Clery!”

“…? Okay.”

“…Can’t you just see the meat dancing on top of the grill?”

“…………”

“How is it?”

“Smoky.”

“It’s not smoky!”

They’re visualizing it…

I have to wonder why they started their barbecue when their meat hadn’t even been delivered yet. But now I see that they are grilling a tree branch on top of the grate for practice.

…………

I wasn’t really sure why, but a tear came to my eye.

Must be the smoke.

“We’ve been waiting for you, my esteemed merchant! My name is Algram. The seeker of the meat!”

It was the red-haired older brother who offered this strange self-introduction the moment I knocked at the gate. Apparently, he was Algram, just as I had surmised.

“And this is Clery! My darling brother!”

Clery, who had been called Algram’s “darling brother,” looked up at me as he clung to his older brother and nodded once in greeting. “H-hello…”

He seemed skittish for some reason.

“Yes, hello.”

So I returned his greeting with the best smile I could muster, but—

“…………”

Clery hid himself timidly behind his big brother.

“Ha-ha-ha! Sorry about him. My brother is a little shy around strangers.” Algram placed a hand down on his little brother’s head. “Anyway, Miss Merchant, have you brought the you-know-what?”

The man with the bombastic way of talking held his hands out toward me.

You’ve misunderstood one thing.

“I’m not a merchant. I’m a traveling witch. The merchant asked me to transport this in his stead.” I placed the package full of meat in Algram’s hands as I corrected him. “Here are the items you ordered.”

The heavy parcel was taken from my hands.

“Oh…ohhhhhh!” Algram was extraordinarily excited. He lifted the package of meat into the air. “I’ve been waiting for you! I’ve waited so long for this moment!” He was very excited. Maybe a little too excited…

“If I remember correctly, you said you can’t buy meat in this city, right?”

That’s what you wrote in your letters, after all.

“Right! Recently, the vegetarians have been throwing their weight around here. Now people like me have been driven into a corner and oppressed, and every day is miserable.”

“…………”

I looked at my surroundings.

A detached house. A spacious yard. A smoking barbecue grill. Two brothers dressed in fairly high-quality clothes.

…Looks to me like you’re living a pretty rich life, though.

“What do your parents do?”

“…………”

He answered my question with silence.

He slowly lowered his hands and the meat cradled within them. Then he hung his head and replied in a subdued voice, “…This city started changing in a major way eight years ago. One of the policies set forth by Galan, our current leader, was a plan to turn everyone vegetarian. A dreadful plan to slowly, over a long period of time, deprive all the citizens of meat by the end of this year.”

According to Algram, there had always been a lot of people who loved vegetables, so there were many voices that praised the policy set out by that Galan person. On the other hand, the voices of people like Algram, who liked meat, were silenced. And before they knew it, they had been backed into a corner.

“My mother used to be a sensible woman who worked for the city. She was more opposed than anyone to Galan’s overbearing policy.” His voice started to tremble. “…But now our mother is…”

I knew I had asked about something that I probably shouldn’t have.

“And our father left when we were small. I’m the only one around who can feed Clery meat.”

If the ban on meat had been enacted eight years earlier, then surely Clery had never properly eaten meat.

“…Meat.”

Clery was standing there with his gaze fixed on the parcel.

“Come on, Clery! The time has come to make use of the skills you learned in training! Let’s grill some meat! As slowly as you can, now!” Algram proclaimed loudly. “Thank you, Lady Witch!”

Then he bowed once to me, turned suddenly, and walked toward his smoking barbecue.

But is this really all right?

If Algram’s story is true, then it seems like it might not be so good to eat meat around here.

Won’t it cause offense if he grills meat openly in his yard like this, despite the law?

Though I feel like at least the neighbors already know about the fact that Algram and his brother eat meat…

I was watching Algram’s and Clery’s backs, my head cocked to the side in slight skepticism, when it happened.

“You bastaaards! What do you think you’re doing, in a place like this?!”

Sure enough, almost as if it was planned—

There were many soldiers near their house.

…………

Totally busted.

Since I was the person responsible for getting the meat to the brothers, I couldn’t just run away with a flippant, “All right then, I’ll be going now!” Ultimately, I also ended up face-to-face with lots of soldiers, right alongside them.

The soldiers pointed their spears at all of us and chattered loudly.

“Gah…! What’s that stench?!”

“It’s meat! These people were about to eat meat!”

“Imagine, eating the flesh of a living creature! Unbelievable!”

“Isn’t it kind of smoky?”

I see, so I guess the story about meat being banned here was true.

Before we knew it, not only the soldiers but the neighbors, too, were watching us from a distance, whispering to one another.

One of the soldiers, probably the one responsible for the area—for convenience sake, let’s call him the head soldier—glared at Algram, who was holding the package of meat, and raised his voice.

“How dare you! What are you thinking, starting a barbecue like this in the middle of the day?! Extinguish it at once!”

But Algram immediately refused.

“Not a chance! If you want to know the reason why, it’s because I’ve got meat here, and my dear brother who wants it!”

He completely missed the point of what they were saying. He wasn’t even close.

“B-big brother…” Clery, who had panicked when they were suddenly surrounded, was clinging to his brother even more tightly than before.

“There’s nothing to worry about, Clery. We haven’t done a single thing wrong. We are just exercising our rights as living creatures.”

“It is our duty to protect the rights of animals.” The head soldier took one step toward Algram. “We became vegetarians in order to give freedom to animals, who live as livestock and are killed for food. Hand over that package!”

“No!”

“Don’t you people feel bad for the animals that were killed?!”

“Oh, so I suppose you all went around asking the livestock how they felt? Did they tell you it felt futile to live and die as livestock? And did you ask the vegetables? Did they tell you they don’t mind having their roots harvested and their fruits plucked off? That it’s no problem for them to die miserable deaths? Did you beg their forgiveness?”

“Vegetables don’t feel pain!”

“I don’t want to hear about rights from someone who won’t even try to hear the voices of the voiceless!”

Are we still talking about meat…?

I immediately backed away from the two men and their impassioned argument. It seemed likely that the meat I had taken so much trouble to transport would be damaged if things continued as they were. I had nothing better to do, so for the time being, I quickly recovered the parcel of meat from Algram’s hands.

Then I took out my wand and cast a spell, causing cool and chilly air to pour out over the meat.

“Whoa, amazing!”

Maybe the enthusiasm of his older brother, who was arguing back and forth with the soldier, was catching on. Following the cool air, Clery was drawn to my wand and trotted over to me.

“Isn’t it? Isn’t it amazing?” I hit Clery with the chilly air.

“It’s cold…” Clery’s soft hair fluttered, and a smile formed on his young face. “Miss, are you a mage?”

“I sure am!” boasted the witch to the ten-year-old child.

That’s me.

“Amazing!”

The innocent young boy’s round, cute eyes glistened and sparkled.

So shiny…

I had plenty of time on my hands, plus I felt flattered by my young admirer, so I said, “I can do stuff like this, too,” and I left the package of meat behind and waved my wand. I performed tricks like conjuring a little snowman and tying the boy’s hair up with grass. I also formed pillars of ice around the package of meat.

It turned out to be an effective way to kill some time.

“Hand it over!”

“I refuse!”

“Give it here!”

“No, I said!”

But the head soldier and Algram were just getting overheated, and the situation didn’t seem likely to resolve itself.

“…Has your older brother always been like this?” I whispered the question to Clery while we were playing.

Clery nodded. “He becomes like a different person when meat is involved…”

“Hmm? Does that mean you didn’t actually want to eat it?”

But I thought he was trying his best for the sake of his younger brother, who wanted to eat meat.

“I don’t really care either way.”

“I see.”

You’re incredibly practical, in your own way.

It seems like these brothers are kind of complete opposites when it comes to personality…

“I want to eat meat! Why can’t you understand that?!”

The older brother is the one who seems to be an extremely passionate person, though. Huh, I wonder just what kind of household they were raised in, to produce such a funny pair of brothers?

“Oh dear, what are all these people doing gathered here at this time of day?”

At just about that time, a single woman appeared from the two brothers’ house. She was a tall and slender adult woman with an air of composure about her. She looked to be in her thirties or forties.

Oh, who’s this?

“Mother!” Algram called out to the woman.

……Huh?

“She’s alive?”

“I never said anything about her being dead.”

“Well, it sort of came off that way, so…”

And here I was sure that your mother had passed away, your father had left you long ago, and you were the noble older brother, living life while protecting your young sibling.

“The mother we once had is no more…”

Algram suddenly turned serious. But beside him, his mother was tugging at his sleeve, asking her son, “Did something happen? Hey, talk to me,” and it kind of spoiled the mood.

“She used to be a wonderful woman who ate meat frequently, but now the only thing lining her table is vegetables… And to make matters worse, she recently started using terms I don’t understand, like pesticide-free and organic…”

“Today’s lunch is pesticide-free cabbage rolls!” his mother interjected at once from beside him with one of those difficult new terms.

“I want you to go back to being the plump woman I used to know… I…”

“By the way, the cabbage rolls are filled with more cabbage!”

So…you just made stewed cabbage?

But if this guy likes plump women…

“So to make a long story short, you like thick women?”

“Yes. Bigger, even. Ideally, my future partner would be around twice my weight.”

“You’d be better off looking somewhere else, then.”

“I knew it.”

“By the way, where did your father go off to?”

“He’s just on a business trip.”

“…………”

So they’re a completely normal family…

“Oh-hoh-hoh. By the way, what on earth is going on with these soldiers?”

Apparently, the story about Algram’s mother working for the government was true.

Their mother walked over to the soldiers and exchanged a few words with them. “I’ll tell my son,” she said before simply sending the soldiers on their way.

Then she turned around abruptly.

“Take it easy with the fooling around, okay?”

She bonked Algram on the forehead with her fist.

“All right then, I’m off to buy some cabbage!”

As soon as their mother had skillfully settled the disturbance, she headed off immediately to do her early afternoon shopping.

“My mother really ought to want meat, too…” Algram’s head drooped as he watched his mother depart. “Eight years ago, when Galan won the election against my mother, he imposed a strict ban on meat throughout the land. My mother opposed it to the last, but at that time, public opinion was already with Galan. My mother had no choice but to surrender.”

“I see…”

So that’s what happened…

“In order to clear away my mother’s regrets, I must grill meat.”

“Wait, I don’t really understand that logic…”

I don’t get what you mean…

Then, with extremely theatrical movements, he whirled around to face us and said, “All right, Clery! Let’s grill some meat! Our long-awaited meat is finally here!”

“But, big brother… If we eat meat, we won’t have room for the cabbage rolls…”

“Clery! What are you saying?!” Algram grabbed his little brother by the shoulders. “There’s always room for meat!”

“Uhhh…”

“Now, repeat after me! There’s always room for meat!”

“Th-there’s always room for…”

“Louder! There’s always room for meat!”

“There’s always room for meat!”

“Good!”

Wait, surely there isn’t always room for meat.

Well, anyway, a lot of things have happened in a short amount of time, but I did finish my job, so it’s about time for me to go.

Algram’s been going on and on about meat, and it’s made me want to eat some, too.

Maybe I’ll have some meat for dinner tonight.

“Ah, well then, I’ll just be…”

I was in a hurry to get out of there, so I went to hand over the package of meat to Algram again. I was about to pick up the package that I had just been blasting with cold air a few moments earlier, but…

“…………”

What’s this?

What in the world is going on?

There were pillars of ice standing desolately in the place where I had set the meat down, but there was no sign of the package itself.

“The meat is…”

It had vanished, as if in a puff of smoke.

“Unbelievable! Where on earth did my meat go?!”

Algram realized what had happened a moment after I did. But no matter how many times the two of us combed the area, the package of meat was nowhere to be found.

Just what is going on here?

As I was puzzling over the mysterious phenomenon, Clery tugged at the sleeve of my robe.

“Miss, do you think…?”

He pointed.

I saw footprints in the unseasonable snow, leading all the way to the gate. Apparently, someone had walked through the snow I had conjured, out through the gate, but—

“…Ah!”

Then I understood.

Apparently, while Clery and I had been amusing ourselves, the soldiers must have snuck away with the meat. The meat probably would have been safe if I hadn’t taken my eyes off it.

…………

Huh?

So that means, when you get right down to it…

The fact that the meat is gone might possibly be…

“…My fault?”

Even I felt some responsibility for this turn of events.

I wasn’t corrupt enough to hurry home, not when the meat I had transported had been mercilessly confiscated by soldiers due to my negligence. These two brothers were so devoted to their barbecue that they had risked danger to smuggle meat into a city where it had been banned for eight years.

And so—

“We must take action to recover the meat!”

—I figured there was nothing to do but totally go along with Algram’s suggestion.

“We’ll go to city hall now and recover the meat ourselves! There’s nothing else we can do if we’re going to eat meat!”

…………

Wait, that sounds like a pain.

“Shall I go buy you some new meat?”

“No, Madam Witch! I appreciate it, but I must decline your offer!”

“…Why?”

“Because we want to eat it now!”

“Right. I knew that.”

So anyway, we headed straight for city hall to get them to give the meat back.

But do you think we could just walk into the office, tell them to give the meat back, and expect them to obediently hand it over? No, no, of course not.

So we headed to city hall with a plan of sorts. According to Algram, he actually had three secret plans.

“I’d like to get your cooperation on the third plan. Would that be all right?”

“Sure, I don’t really mind, but…just curious, what kind of support can I give you?”

“Well, about that…” He mumbled out the details of his third secret plan.

“Uh…”

I hate it so much…

Nevertheless, in my position, I couldn’t go against him, so I decided to follow his lead. As I was hoping that, if I was lucky, we would never make it to the third secret plan, we arrived at city hall.

So then, let’s see these secret plans for whatever Algram has devised, in order.

First, plan number one.

“You city hall bastards! Give my meat back!”

Algram walked into the office, carrying himself in a theatrical way, and began shouting loudly in a sing-song voice, twirling around in a strange dance.

Ultimately, tactic number one was just to try asking.

And as for the end result…

“Who the hell are you?!”

“That’s the barbecue man from earlier!”

“We legally confiscated that meat! We’re not giving it back!”

…they surrounded us, of course.

“B-big brother…” Clery was frightened again.

“Never fear, Clery. This is how I expected it to go.” Algram plopped his hand down on his younger brother’s head, took one step toward the soldiers, and thrust his hand into the bag he had brought with him.

I guess this is his second secret plan.

“You bastards! Do you know what this is?”

In his hands were a kitchen knife and several vegetables. “If you come any closer, these vegetables are gonna get it… Understand?”

Algram smacked the knife against the vegetables.

He taunted them, as if to say, “You got that? Make one wrong move, and I’ll cut up these vegetables! See?”

In short, to Algram, the vegetables in his hand were just like human hostages.

…………

I was watching him from behind, thinking there was no way this was going to end well.

“B-big brother…” Even Clery, who had been clinging to Algram’s side, put some distance between them. “My big brother is acting weird…,” he remarked tersely.

“I think he’s dead serious…”

Well then, let’s take a look at the soldiers’ reactions, shall we?

Faced with Algram’s erratic and slightly crazy offense, the soldiers looked at one another and started making a fuss.

“Th-that guy’s—! What is he planning to do with those veggies?!”

“Stop it! Those babies are innocent!”

“Calm down, Barbecue Man! We can work this out!”

…………

“Now the soldiers are acting weird…”

“I think they were probably weird to begin with.”

Clery and I seemed to be the only ones in the room who were left out. The soldiers all panicked, and some of them had already begun to lay down their weapons and put their hands up.

What’s this, now?

Could this mean there’s no longer any need for me to take part?

Nothing would make me happier, but…

“What’s all this fuss?”

Just then, one soldier showed up late.

It was the head soldier, who had passionately debated the rights of animals with Algram earlier. When he saw Algram’s face, he glared at him with a stern expression.

“You…! You’re the Barbecue Man!”

I’ve been wondering about this this whole time, but what’s with this “Barbecue Man” nickname?

“Indeed! I am the Barbecue Man!”

And Algram himself doesn’t seem unhappy with it, huh? I see.

“What brings you to a place like this? Don’t tell me you’ve come to take the meat back…”

“Indeed I have!”

Algram puffed his chest out and glared seriously at the head soldier. “Now where did you put my meat?!”

“I just delivered it to Mister Galan.”

Mister Galan—the most distinguished person in the city, if I remember correctly.

“I went to tell him I’m going to investigate where that meat was brought in from and crack down even more strictly on its importation.”

“Wh-what did you say…?!” The moment he heard the name Galan, Algram’s hands started shaking.

His shaking seemed to indicate that it was a matter of great importance to him.

Seeing through to the true nature of Algram’s trembling, the lead soldier’s mouth spread into a nasty smile. “Heh-heh-heh…right about now, that bundle is being stripped of its layers, and every inch of it is being thoroughly explored…”

By which you mean…the package of meat is being opened?

“Gah…! How despicable!”

Sounds pretty normal to me, though.

“Let’s give up on that meat already. It’s a waste of time. Let’s go back home and eat cabbage rolls,” Clery said.

“How can we do that?!” Algram had arrived full of determination. He couldn’t back down at that stage. “I…I can’t leave until I get the meat back…! Outta my way! I’m going to Galan!”

“We refuse.”

“In that case, with my own hands, these vegetables—”

He placed the knife against the vegetables, but—

“Humph…can you really do such a thing?”

“…………!”

Algram was shaking, just a little. And the head soldier did not fail to notice that slight opening.

“Can you do it? Are you capable of wasting vegetables that were lovingly brought up under a farmer’s care…?”

“…………!”

The knife clattered to the floor, and Algram collapsed.

“I…can’t do it! I couldn’t do such a thing!”

…………

What did I just watch?

I guess we can consider the second secret plan, or whatever that was, a failure due to Algram’s own convictions.

Which means…

“Lady Witch! It’s time!”

Time for secret plan number three, huh? Well, I knew it was coming.

“…Are we seriously doing that?”

“Please.” Strong determination dwelled deep within him.

I can’t back out at this point.

So fine, I guess.

“…I’m not responsible for whatever happens, got it?”

After first issuing that warning, I took my wand in hand and channeled magical energy into it.

And what I cast was a spell to imbue objects with life.

As soon as I did…

…life flowed into the vegetables in Algram’s hands.

You already know where this is going.

Algram’s third secret plan was, to put it simply, to make the people hear the vegetables’ cries of agony firsthand.

By the way, Algram was, at that moment, holding a cucumber and a tomato.

“Madam…luring me, a cucumber, to a place like this while your husband is away… Do you understand what that means?”

“W-wait…I’m not ready yet…”

“Heh-heh-heh…you may say that, but just look at how ripe you are inside…”

“D-don’t say that…”

Wait, these aren’t cries of agony…

…………

“Miss, I can’t hear.”

Considering the content of the vegetables’ conversation, I had covered Clery’s ears. I couldn’t very well let him hear all that.

“You can hear the rest when you’re a little more grown up, okay?”

“But, miss…”

“Yes?”

“Most of the adults aren’t listening, either.”

When the cucumber and tomato interrupted the men’s nonsensical conversation, there was pandemonium as far as the eye could see. Soldiers were holding their heads and screaming, “Waaaah!” Some of them lost their fighting spirit: “I can never eat a tomato again…” while others fell into a daze: “So cucumbers are male…?” Someone even discovered a new attraction: “Getting with someone else’s tomato, huh…? Sounds fun…” There were a great variety of reactions, and they all made me worry for the future of the city.

Off to the side of this spectacle, Algram was holding the cucumber and tomato, and he seemed—

“From this angle, you do look pretty plump…”

He was gazing at the tomato with some kind of suggestive look in his eye. He was ready to explore new territory.

“…………”

I was at a total loss, while beside me, Clery looked somewhat dismayed as he repeated the line he had already used who knows how many times that day.

“B-big brother…”

That was how we got through to that Galan guy in order to recover the meat.

“In heeeeeeeeeeeere!”

The door opened along with Algram’s shout.

On the top floor of the city hall building, in the room at the very end of the hall, was where Galan had his office. In the middle of the spacious room, one middle-aged man sat at a desk with a cross look on his face.

“…What is it? What do you want?”

He had a knife and fork in his hands.

He was in the middle of a meal.

“Humph, what an easygoing guy you are, eating at a time like this!” Algram stormed up to him wildly, furious. “We came to take back our freedom! I think we’ll start by having you give us back our meat!”

“Meat…?” Galan looked up at Algram. He opened his eyes wide in shock. “You…! You’re the Barbecue Man, the one who was having a barbecue this afternoon!”

“Indeed!”

“I see.”

As he spoke, Galan set his knife and fork down on the desk and stood up.

He was a little bit taller than Algram, and his chiseled physique was discernible even through his clothes.

Galan looked down at him and said, “You can’t have it! There’s no way I would return something that defies our laws! I’ll be disposing of the meat myself!”

“I went to a lot of trouble to get that meat for my dearest brother!”

“Regardless of your intentions, I cannot allow it!”

“Why? Why is it banned?! What is so bad about meat?!”

“How can you not understand this?! We are dedicated to protecting animals, even if it means resisting our appetites!”

“Everyone else is putting up with it, so I have to bear it, too? There’s no meaning to a life in which you’re constantly stifling your own desires!”

“Why don’t you try to bear it just like everyone else?!”

“Don’t force it on me! Ideas like that aren’t things you force, they’re things you share!”

I felt as if they must have been exchanging some fairly heated words, but I couldn’t forget the fact that this whole argument was over some meat, or that Algram had been giving a tomato amorous looks just a moment earlier.

“Tch…seems like I won’t get anywhere by talking to you…,” Algram spit in a hoarse voice.

Then for some reason, he began taking his shirt off, right then and there.

What’s the matter? Are you hot?

“Looks like there’s nothing to do but talk it out with our fists…”

…………

Why?

“Heh…just like old times. I was like that when I was young, too.”

Indifferent to me, standing there dumbfounded, and to Clery, who was calling out for his brother in confusion, Galan also began taking off his shirt, right then and there. In order to protect the young boy’s naïveté, I covered Clery’s eyes.

“Miss, I can’t see.”

“You can see the rest when you’re a little more grown up, okay?”

Right in front of us, as we exchanged these peaceful words, the men had already tossed their shirts aside and were glaring at each other half-naked.

The mature Galan, who had a sturdy, muscular body despite his years, taunted, “All right, come on then, boy.”

And Algram, who was slim but well-built, answered, “I’m no boy.”

Then he stepped forward and raised his voice.

“My name is Barbecue Man!” he declared.

Then the two men clashed.

Neither man held back; they simply unleashed their clenched fists along with beastly roars. Algram’s punch caved in Galan’s right cheek as Galan’s fist caved in Algram’s left cheek. That was how their furious fistfight began.

Fierce sounds reverberated through the office.

“Miss, what’s that sound?”

“That’s the sound of meat hitting meat.”

“Are they throwing meat around? Is it a meat party?”

“No, it’s a vision of hell.”

Judging from appearances, Galan seemed to have the upper hand in their fight, if only slightly. He was probably pretty well trained. No matter how many times Algram’s fists hit him, he didn’t budge. It was like his body was plated with steel.

Algram, on the other hand—

“Ga-hah!”

He got hit.

“Gu-wah!”

And he got kicked.

“Go-haaaaaah!”

And he took an openhanded smack, then collapsed beside me.

…………

“What’s wrong? Is that all you got?”

After just a few exchanges of blows, Algram was already wounded all over. Galan looked down at him and shrugged, as if he was already bored.

“It-it’s not over yet…!”

But Barbecue Man, or rather, Algram, stood up. He wouldn’t permit himself to retreat until he had the meat in his hands.

By the way, I feel like we might get mixed up in this if we stay here.

“How about we move back a little?”

Still covering Clery’s eyes, I moved hurriedly past the two men exchanging blows. I guided Clery, who was being dragged away without a clue, toward the desk in the office.

Well, at least over here, Algram won’t hit us if he gets sent flying.

“Oh, something smells good.”

Clery’s sense of smell seemed to be a little bit sharper with his vision obscured. He sniffed at the aroma and turned toward me with a smile on his face, “Miss, what’s this smell?”

“…? Um…”

Probably whatever Galan was eating earlier.

I looked at the desk.

“…………”

And I fell silent.

Sitting there was a rather unexpected sight.

This was the Land of Greenery and Harmony. It was a vegetarian land; a place where meat was banned. If someone wanted to, for instance, let their younger brother eat meat, he would have to take the risk of ordering it from a foreign land. That was how staunchly meat was avoided here, and those who preferred it were utterly persecuted.

And yet…

“…There’s a hamburg steak here.”

A half-eaten hamburg steak was sitting on Galan’s desk. Hamburg steak. A dish that normally required meat, yet there it was.

My goodness! What could be the meaning of this?

“Hey…! N-no! You’ve got the wrong idea!”

It was, obviously, a rather inappropriate thing for the leader to be eating. When Galan turned around, he really started panicking. While he was looking toward us, he started making excuses. “That’s not a normal hamburg steak!” he insisted. “It’s a tofu burger!”

And then, unfortunately, he made his only mistake, which was letting us distract his attention while he made his excuses.

“Don’t look away during a fight!”

Algram put all his energy into one blow and landed a direct hit to Galan’s chin during the moment he left himself open.

“F-failure…!”

Galan’s steely body hung for a moment in the air, then crashed into the office floor as he collapsed.

I think we can consider that a decisive defeat.

“Victory is ours!”

Algram raised his fist in the air.

I think it’s no exaggeration to say that both victory and meat are in his grasp.

But I wanted to set Clery’s eyes free before too long, so all I could think was that I wanted Algram to hurry up and put on his clothes.

“Miss.” Clery tugged at my sleeve. “What happened?”

He turned his face toward me, but I was still covering his eyes. I looked back and forth between Algram and Clery for a minute.

“Looks like you’ll be able to have your barbecue now,” was all I answered.

Smoke was rising from the fairly spacious lawn, along with a delicious smell.

The recaptured meat was slowly cooking atop the barbecue grill. The two brothers stood restlessly in front of the grill, waiting for the meat to be ready to eat.

“Listen up, Clery! Meat is tastiest when you grill it slowly. If we get the heat level wrong, our meat could turn to charcoal in an instant.”

“G-got it!”

It was a very charming scene.

Reasoning that they didn’t want to spoil their dinner and that they wanted to save some meat for their mother to eat, they had only placed three pieces of meat on the grill. The brothers didn’t scramble for the meat but rather waited patiently for it to cook.

Ultimately, we did end up hosting our barbecue.

“But that was really quite unexpected,” I said as I pondered the sequence of events that had led us back to their house. “I never thought you would actually get permission.”

Algram had just barely secured victory in his fistfight against Galan, but Galan had returned the meat to him with surprisingly little trouble when it was over.

Moreover…

“I lost… Do whatever you want.”

He had even given the brothers permission to host a barbecue in their yard that afternoon.

“The loser yields to the winner… That’s how things go in the world of men, Lady Witch,” Algram said as he turned the meat over.

I couldn’t be sure just what kind of change of heart Galan had gone through. He was the person who had banned the sale of meat in the first place. But I thought maybe it was—

“Perhaps he wasn’t a vegetarian to begin with, either?”

Since I was a traveler, I wasn’t all that knowledgeable about how things worked around there, but piecing together everything I had heard, I’d figured out that Galan must have previously faced off against Algram’s mother in an election.

If, for instance, there had always been a lot of vegetarians, then in order to beat her in the election—in order to sway public opinion—it might have been very rational for him to align himself with the vegetarians.

But Galan had been eating a hamburg steak made of tofu, so it seemed unlikely that he was a big fan of vegetables.

“Good grief. So banning meat was a terrible idea from the start…”

Just as we had been about to leave city hall—

—Galan had let out a huge sigh as he tossed a bite of cold tofu hamburger into his mouth.

There’s no meaning to a life in which you’re constantly stifling your own desires… Now, who was it who said that?

“If only this incident could serve as an opportunity for the restrictions on eating meat to be relaxed,” Algram muttered as he stared at the meat while it cooked.

“Well, don’t you suppose things might change slowly from now on?” I said, looking at him.

You seem to be good at waiting?

Gazing vacantly at the barbecue grill, he muttered, “Slowly, huh…?”

Yes, that’s right.

“Just like grilling meat, slow and steady.”