Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 12 - Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The Exorcist and the Demon

“—Oh…how can this be?!”

“—How could something like this happen…?!”

“—I’m begging you…! Please…please save her…!”

The adults of the village were clinging to a single man.

Dressed in stiff, black garments, the man, whose name was Henrik, stood there resolutely. Physically, he was somewhat slim, and in age, he was in his mid-twenties.

The young exorcist smiled gently at the villagers.

“Leave it to me,” he told them. “Without fail…I will save her.”

He was the only one who could save the girl.

“Ah…ohhh…”

The girl, tied to a chair, looked up at Henrik with hollow eyes, empty of all light. She wasn’t even speaking proper words; the sounds that spilled from her mouth from time to time were just eerie, uncanny groans.

There was none of the girl’s consciousness there.

She was possessed by a demon.

“Unh…ohhh…”

The girl glared at Henrik.

Perhaps the demon recognized that the young man standing before it was an exorcist who had come to the village in order to expel it. There was an intimidating look in the girl’s eyes, which were filled with rage and hatred.

“……”

A chill ran up the young man’s spine.

Every year, when the spring came, the demons came out in this village.

It had all started about four years earlier.

One spring day, much like the present day, Henrik’s predecessor, a senior exorcist, visited the village for the first time. He had received word that one of the village’s young girls was possessed by a demon. And then every year after that, at around the same time of year, several of the village’s young girls and boys would be possessed by demons. The senior exorcist had gone there every year to drive them out.

This year, it was Henrik’s turn to take on that role.

“…………”

He had received one bit of advice from the senior exorcist regarding the demons that appeared every year.

“The demons of this village are different from other demons. Be careful.”

Henrik remembered very well how the senior exorcist had been wounded all over his body when he came back from the village each year.

So he looked down at the girl in front of him—

“Wh-what wicked eyes you have…!”

—and a shiver ran up his spine.

As the girl glared at the young man, her eyes overflowed with more malice than he had ever felt from any of the demons he had faced off against before. It was truly an aura of danger. It was almost as if, before she had even been possessed by the demon, she had been nurturing something infernal in the bottom of her heart.

He couldn’t afford to lose focus even for a moment.

“What is this girl’s name?” Henrik asked the villagers.

The lamenting villagers around him looked at each other in silence, then gazed at the girl tied to the chair with looks of pity.

She had beautiful ash-gray hair. And lapis-blue eyes. She was still groaning and moaning in the chair, looking up at the man. Clad in a dress with a flared skirt, if she had only shut her mouth, she would have looked like a refined young woman. Or maybe a doll.

However, she was possessed by a demon, and her demeanor was bedraggled. Both her pretty face and her adorable springtime outfit were utterly ruined.

“Ahh…uhhh!”

By the way, just who do you think that poor, pitiful girl could be?

One of the villagers answered Henrik.

“She’s called Elaina.”

“Elaina, is it? I see.”

So then, just who could this Elaina character be?

I don’t have to tell you, do I?

That’s right, it’s me.

The place I visited that day was a small village in the mountains.

Apparently, bandits hardly ever appeared in the area, so the village had a peaceful atmosphere.

There was no fence separating the village from the outside world. As I walked down the street overgrown with trees, a collection of several wooden houses standing amid the beautiful green foliage spread out before me. When I directed my gaze upward, I could see a row of majestic mountains covered in a thin dusting of snow.

I inhaled, taking in the pleasant spring air.

Spread out beneath the cloudless sky, this was a wonderful place.

“What lovely scenery…”

According to the rumors, this place was a normal village but also a place that many tourists visited every year, especially during this season of early spring, which I’d been told was the most popular time to come.

And considering how beautiful the scenery was, I had no choice but to agree.

I alighted from my broom when I reached the entrance to the village and began walking, enchanted by the beautiful sight of abundant nature all around me.

The village seemed to be mostly composed of small single-story houses. The buildings lining the road, which was nothing more than a roughly paved path where the weeds had been pulled, were all modest private homes.

Since they were just humble homes, it should have been easy enough to get a glimpse of the lives of the inhabitants if I looked in the windows as I walked past, but—

“……?”

—but it was the strangest thing.

There weren’t any people in any of the houses lining the street.

In fact, there’s no one on the road either. I don’t think it’s possible that no one lives here, but—could they have gone out somewhere? The whole village?

I walked on, looking up and down the road and gazing into windows.

If someone else had seen me, I’m sure I would have looked fairly suspicious, but since there was no one there to see me in the first place, I figured I could be forgiven a little bit of indiscretion.

The first thing I had intended to do after arriving at the village was to find an inn, but since there was no one around I could ask about lodgings, I was at a loss.

I suppose it must have been several minutes later when—

“Oh!”

I stopped in my tracks.

I was standing in front of an old house. Next to the house was a tree covered in red fruits, as if it was nestled up against it.

When I glanced inside through a window, I saw some adults discussing something with serious looks on their faces.

Apparently, the villagers are all gathered here.

“……”

And then, several seconds after I began my rude peeping—

—a troubled-looking man with hunched shoulders standing across from the window happened to turn his head toward me.

“……”

In short, my peeping was promptly discovered.

The moment he made eye contact with me, the man hurriedly disappeared from the window.

Or so I thought, but he immediately reappeared at the back door.

“Are you by any chance a traveler?”

His breath came out heavy along with his words.

“Ah, I, uh… I am, but…”

I was planning to continue by asking, “Excuse me, but do you know where I can find an inn?” My plan was to take the conversation in a direction that didn’t really touch on the reason why the villagers were all gathered in one house.

But the man beat me to the punch.

“Great, then come in here for a minute! Come on, hurry!”

And he was pushy about it, too.

It was easy to see that the mood in the place was not normal.

It was obvious that something unexpected had taken place in that house, and they must have been in a situation where they wanted any kind of help they could get, even if it came from a stranger.

“Sigh…”

Even though I didn’t really know what the circumstances were, I entered the house under the man’s invitation, with nothing more than speculations swirling around in my head.

Without knowing about the hellish spectacle taking place beyond that door.

Inside the house, a large number of adults were gathered around a single young girl.

According to the villagers, she was the daughter of the household, a girl who had always been cheerful, energetic, and very kind.

“Uuunhhh…aaahhh…!”

Now she was tied to a chair, groaning and swinging her long blond hair around—but apparently she was usually a very good kid.

Her parents were holding each other’s hands, talking about the girl in voices filled with despair.

“She’s such a good girl, she always cleans her plate…”

“Uahhh…” Their daughter let bits of fruit offered by the villagers fall out of her mouth.

“She’s so kind to the elderly people of the village…”

“Peh!” Their daughter spit at the elders standing right behind her parents.

“But today, she’s been acting a little strangely, ever since this morning—”

“Uaaagh—!” Their daughter scowled at everyone who approached her.

“I see, I see.”

This is very aggressive for a rebellious phase.

I nodded noncommittally. It seemed like the people of the village had heard all the uproar and had gathered here and worked themselves into a panic.

But no matter how many people had gathered, they hadn’t been able to quiet the girl, who had started lashing out as if her whole personality had suddenly changed. Ultimately, the only thing they could think of doing was to tie her to a chair.

And then a traveling witch had looked in from outside the window, so they had invited her in.

“Can’t you do anything?” the head of the household pleaded with me.

“I’m not sure how to answer that…”

I looked down at the girl. She was swinging her head back and forth, groaning and moaning, and when our eyes met, she spit at me, aiming for my face.

“Whoop!”

I avoided it nimbly.

“No doubt about it. This is a demon’s doing…,” said an old man with a very village-headman-like look to him and a know-it-all expression on his face. It was a truly serious expression. Though he was covered in spit. It must have hit him because I dodged it. My bad.

“…Has something like this happened before?”

If you’re certain enough to assert that it’s a demon’s doing, there must be some basis for that belief.

“Mm. Sure has.” The headman wiped the spit off his forehead. “In our village, every year around this time, demons possess the bodies of certain villagers. Last year and the year before that, and even before that, the villagers possessed by demons have acted quite violently.”

“Hmm.”

“And because of that, in our village, every year when people start getting possessed by demons, we know that spring has come…”

“Oh really…?”

I could only guess that the people of the village would prefer not to mark the coming of spring with such an event.

“How could such a thing happen…?!” the head of the household lamented.

Even so, his grief alone was not enough to make the demon that had possessed his daughter disappear. She was still swinging her head around, groaning and moaning, her vacant eyes wandering around the room.

By the way, whenever someone approached her or made eye contact with her, it seemed she immediately spit at them. She had spit at me earlier.

“……”

Then our eyes met again.

“Peh!” she spit.

“Whoop!” I dodged.

“……” The village headman wordlessly wiped away the spit. “Anyway, we’re really at a loss here…”

“Sounds that way…”

Something like this happening during tourist season definitely endangers the future of this village. I’m sure they don’t want people to stop coming to this village, which is surrounded by beautiful scenery, do they?

“Peh!”

“Whoop!”

And I’m sure they don’t want this to turn into a village where people calmly spit at sightseers, do they?

In which case—

“If you like, perhaps I could resolve this for you?”

As a traveler, and a witch, I made a proposal. “You’d like it if I returned her to normal, right?”

I told them I thought I could do it.

“Can you really…?!”

They hadn’t asked me, but I made the proposal anyway.

The villagers made a stir, beginning with the head of the household.

Then the village headman asked me, wide-eyed, “That would be wonderful…! Is there anything I can do to help?”

Something you can do, huh?

Looking at the village headman’s forehead, I said, “For now, I recommend wiping away all that spit.”

There are many varieties of demon. They certainly are not a monolithic species. I’d encountered creatures that could be called demons before. And apparently, there is also a variety of demon that can possess human bodies.

And generally, we call people whose occupation is driving out troublesome demons that have possessed bodies exorcists.

I’m not all that well versed in the profession of exorcism, but I’ve heard that when they face off against a demon that is possessing someone’s body, they generally go through the following procedure:

First, they stand in front of the victim, who has been tied to a chair, and shout, “Get out of this person’s body!” The irritated demon uses the victim’s body to shout back at the exorcist, and so begins the battle between the two. They enter a verbal sparring match. “Get out of there at once!” shouts the exorcist. “Shut up! I’ll kill you!” spits the demon. Their relationship is like one between a landlord demanding an eviction and a resident barricading themselves inside.

Once the exorcist senses that the demon will not be driven out with words alone, they start to harass the demon. If the demon doesn’t come out when asked to leave, the idea is to make it feel like the body is an uncomfortable place to be.

The exorcist uses every possible method to drive out the demon.

For example, splashing water in the person’s face or slapping their cheeks with all their might. Or making the demon listen to them drone on and on about some boring topic. Also, as they execute such plainly awful tactics, the exorcist threatens, “If you don’t get out of there, I’ll continue this harassment forever,” and most of the time, the demon comes out.

That was the explanation I had gotten regarding techniques for exorcizing a demon from the exorcists whom I had met previously.

Of course, I’d never seen an actual exorcism, so I didn’t have a clue about how it really happened or what they did in other places.

Well now, after reviewing the job of the exorcist, let’s take a look at how I did with the girl before me.

“Glug-glug-glug-glug!”

She drank water.

She drank it all down.

“Yes, yes, that’s right! Keep on drinking! Drink more!”

I crammed a bottle into her mouth, and the girl kept gulping down the water. I had her lying with her head in my lap, and I praised her as I stroked her hair. “That’s a good girl.”

Looking at this spectacle, the village headman seemed truly perplexed.

“Lady Witch, what on earth…?”

“I’m letting her drink to her heart’s content.”

As you can plainly see.

“That doesn’t seem to be a method of exorcism we know…”

“Well, what did you do up until last year?”

“We kept on shouting endlessly at the demon, for as long as it took…”

Ah, the most typical method of exorcism, huh?

“Well, for this girl, I think this will be more effective than those ordinary methods of exorcism.”

“Uh…”

The headman drew back.

“Glug-glug-glug-glug!” The girl kept right on chugging as we talked.

Then, after she had kept on drinking until the large bottle was empty—

“Hah… What on earth did I…?!”

—she returned to her senses. Her eyes snapped open, and she had none of the dangerous aura that had surrounded her until a moment earlier.

She groaned quietly and looked around. She seemed bewildered by the astonished appearance of the villagers. And she didn’t spit or glare at anyone.

The village headman told her what had happened, and the girl’s eyes went wide.

“Huh…? A demon…? I was possessed by a demon…?”

She didn’t seem to have any memory of how she had been behaving until just a moment earlier. The girl was simply perplexed.

Well, at any rate—

“Looks like I solved it, huh?”

I threw out my chest with a sense of accomplishment for having finished the difficult task.

“Just what kind of magic did you use, Lady Witch?”

The headman could not hide his confusion. The solution had been far too simple, compared to the last year and the year before that, so his reaction was hardly surprising.

I leaned against the window and gazed outside as I said, “First of all, that girl was not possessed by a demon at all.”

In the garden stood a single tree covered in countless red fruits.

I had traveled through all sorts of lands on my journey and had seen a great many strange things that stuck in my memory. The tree in the garden was something I had laid eyes on before.

“In other lands, that tree is known as a demon tree, you know.”

According to the stories, in springtime, the red fruits growing on the tree seem incredibly sweet and delicious, but for some reason, growing among them is a single poisonous fruit.

In appearance, this poisonous fruit looks exactly like all the others. If you eat it, you suddenly lose the ability to speak in anything other than moans and groans, and you begin to try to spit at everyone who approaches you.

This demon tree tempts people with its sweet, delicious fruits, slipping the dangerous one in among them.

It’s just like a sweet trap laid by a demon.

“As soon as I saw that tree in your garden, I figured there was probably something like this going on.”

When someone eats the poisonous fruit, they can neutralize the poison by drinking a great deal of water. It dilutes the poison in the body.

But even if you simply leave the person alone, they return to normal once the poison is excreted from the body.

In short, if the exorcist faced off against the “demon” for a long time, and carried on and on with enough abuse, the victim would naturally recover their senses.

“So then, does that mean the demons don’t exist…?”

“Yep.”

Although the people who have a custom of calling that tree in your garden a demon tree would not agree with that statement.

“What the…?!”

The village headman fell to his knees.

“So that’s the true identity of your demons.”

I’d often heard stories of ghosts that turned out to be dried pampas grass or something, so I knew jumping to conclusions could make things complicated.

Here in this village as well, too many people jumped to conclusions, and as a result, they mistook simple poison from a fruit for demonic activity. They wasted a lot of effort fighting the demons, which likely postponed the victims’ recoveries.

“Unbelievable…”

The village headman, when confronted with the truth about the events of the past few years, simply hung his head.

“But we’ve already made arrangements for an exorcist…”

Oh, that guy?

You were awfully quick to call him, weren’t you?

“If he comes now, we’ll get charged a cancellation fee…”

You’re awfully hung up on that, aren’t you?

I frowned. This was a puzzling response. I felt like the mood of the villagers was beginning to gradually trend in a strange direction.

Noisily, the villagers looked down at the little girl I’d cured, and all spoke at once.

“Hey, what do we do now…?”

“This is bad…”

“So it wasn’t demons?”

“What do we do…?”

“But I’ve already done all sorts of preparations…”

“Me too…”

A kind of disquieting mood began to fill the air.

What’s going on? For some reason, the atmosphere here seems like I did something wrong, doesn’t it?

“Miss Witch, uh…” The girl’s father seemed to be having a very difficult time getting the words out as he asked me, “Um, there’s no chance that the demon is actually still inside my daughter, is there…?”

Huh…?

“No, I don’t think there is…”

“So the exorcist…”

“I don’t think you need one…”

Wow, this is a really weird atmosphere.

“What?! So I’m not getting exorcized by that handsome exorcist?! Come on!”

Even the daughter, who, as you know, had just recovered, jumped into the adults’ conversation. She seemed very put out.

I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on, but I was getting a very bad feeling about whatever this was.

“Lady Witch.” The village headman spoke to me in my bewilderment. He sounded really regretful. “To tell the truth, in our village, well, the exorcism of the demons by an exorcist has become something of an event…”

“What?”

He told me—

This village had always had scant options for entertainment, and the exorcisms had been rare occurrences. Recently, however, they had become annual events, and so as soon as the villagers had decided that the girl was possessed by a demon, they had sent for an exorcist from another land.

“And on top of that, the exorcist handling things this year is quite handsome, so all the girls in the village were looking forward to seeing him. To the point where, if you can believe it, the child who was possessed was considered quite lucky.”

“Uh…”

I don’t know what to do…with this information…at this point…

“Moreover, in recent years, this exorcism event has become a major source of revenue for the village, so…”

“Meaning that the reason why you have a lot of tourists in the spring is—”

“—To see the exorcisms.”

“What?”

I was at a loss for words when confronted with these shocking facts.

It seemed that calling the exorcist had big implications for this little village. Understandably, their problem wasn’t one they wanted a passing witch to solve.

“I never thought she’d actually be able to fix it…”

“What are we gonna do…? We’ve already done so much work preparing for the exorcism event…”

“This is terrible…”

Consequently, the adults of the village were sorely vexed.

They had thought they were showing the demon-possessed child to a simple tourist who had arrived slightly early. They had never considered that their demon problem might be solved for them.

“Lady Witch, can’t you use your magic to do something?” the village headman asked me.

“Like what?”

“Can’t you cast a spell to make it seem like she’s possessed again or something?”

“Are you a demon yourself?”

“But we’ve got quite a lot of money riding on this event, so…”

Panic began to spread through the crowd. There was also the sense that I had somehow done something wrong.

Usually, when the mood starts to turn that way, especially when nobody is thinking straight, people start offering incomprehensible ideas, and—

“I’ve got it! We can get the witch to pretend like she’s possessed by a demon!”

See, someone will say something like that without batting an eye.

The little girl who had been spitting at everyone who approached her until just a few minutes ago made this nonsensical proposal with a sparkle in her eye.

And usually, once one person throws out what they’re thinking, one after another, like an avalanche, everyone else will endorse the same nonsensical idea.

“Oh…!”

“I see, that’s one way to play it!”

“A witch possessed by a demon… It could work…”

“I think we can expect to attract quite a few customers with that.”

“Goodness, we certainly can!”

So yeah, that’s basically how it goes.

Goodness, what a pickle.

“Wait, um, but I don’t want to? I’m not doing that.”

That’s a firm refusal. I can do without all the hassle. Well, maybe it’s my fault it became a hassle, but a no is a no.

“But, Miss Witch, look!” the girl urged me. “The exorcist this time is this guy! He’s quite handsome, isn’t he?”

In her hand, she was holding a photograph.

“This doesn’t really have anything to do with who he is—,” I started to say.

I was still not particularly interested, but I lowered my gaze to the photo and immediately stopped talking.

I was looking at an exorcist who did indeed have quite a well-featured face.

Why, how splendid.

“See? Isn’t he handsome?”

“…He certainly is.”

I nodded in approval.

But it’s not like I was interested, though.

“If you’ll pretend to be possessed by a demon, Miss Witch, I’ll support you as your helper!”

“What kind of support, specifically?”

“Well, I’ll chat pleasantly with the exorcist.”

“Isn’t that just because you want to get close to the person doing the exorcism?”

“No, not at all.”

“Oh really?”

“It’s only because there are no hot guys in our village, so I’m starved for them, you see.”

“You’re devoted to your appetites, huh?”

“If things go well, I might even get his contact information.”

“You’re really devoted to your appetites, huh?”

“And then eventually, I plan to get him to introduce me to some hot guys in the capital!”

“So you’re using the exorcist as a stepping stone?”

“If I’m going to get a boyfriend, I want someone handsome, who’s tall, and makes a lot of money, and has a good education, and who only has eyes for me…”

“That plan sounds awfully devilish, you know.”

Is it possible she actually is possessed by a demon?

“Oh, and, Lady Witch, I forgot to say this, but…,” the village headman cut in between me and the girl, “in our village, we have a legend that anyone who is possessed by a demon is actually quite lucky.”

“Actually quite lucky?”

Just what does that mean?

“Getting possessed by a demon is, in itself, an unfortunate event, but since we can rely on the exorcisms to fix it, if you look at the whole thing overall, it’s actually rather fortunate.”

“…Uh-huh.”

Come to think of it, when I work as a fortune-teller, if someone’s future looks too terrible, I present them with a lucky charm as a relief measure. This must be the same sort of thing.

“On top of that, in our village, the exorcisms performed by the exorcist are a major source of income, so we give the person who gets possessed by the demon quite a bit of money as a reward.”

“A reward, you say?”

I see, so you intend to tempt me with money?

That’s quite a dirty tactic you’re using, isn’t it? But I am also a traveler. I came to this village to sightsee. No matter how much money you’re offering, I’d like to refrain from meddling in matters that are none of my business.

“How much?”

Well, I suppose I’m willing to hear what you have to say, for my own edification.

Though I don’t plan to accept your offer, okay? I intend to turn you down, you hear? But you’ve got my curiosity up, and I want to see how much money you could provision, if I forced the issue.

Then the village headman showed me a slip of paper.

“About this much—”

Oh-hoh, well now!

“I’ll do it.”

Before I knew it, I was exchanging a firm handshake with the village headman.

Even if the exorcist came, I doubted he would be able to completely drive away the filthy demon, or rather, the dirty money-grubber that was always lurking in the depths of my heart.

“So then, when is this exorcist supposed to arrive?” I asked.

The villagers looked at each other, and someone in the crowd answered that he usually showed up the following evening.

Which I suppose means there’s a delay of about a day and a half?

“Well then, please let me act at my own discretion until midday tomorrow. There are some preparations I need to take care of before I can pretend to get exorcized by an exorcist.”

“Mm-hmm.” The village headman nodded. “In that case, is there anything we can do?”

Something you can do, huh?

“Let me see… Well, could you introduce me to a tasty restaurant and a good inn in this village?”

“Is that necessary for the exorcism?”

No, no.

“I simply want to enjoy everything your village has to offer, that’s all.”

I originally came to this village as a tourist.

So surely there’s nothing wrong with fully enjoying my time here.

And so, the next day…

“—Oh…how can this be?!”

“—How could something like this happen…?!”

“—I’m begging you…! Please…please save her…!”

The villagers gave an enthusiastic performance. They clung to the young exorcist, bemoaning that there was no hope for me. I was there, too, tied to a chair.

The young man, who had black hair and was dressed in stiff black garments, was named Henrik. Physically, he was fairly slim, and he was about in his mid-twenties.

He had been brought to me immediately after arriving at the village, but he didn’t seem agitated at all. With an extremely calm demeanor, he smiled at the villagers.

“Leave it to me,” he told them. “Without fail…I will save her.”

He alone was capable of saving the pitiful girl (and outright liar) before him.

“Ah…ohhh…”

Of course, wearing the robes of a witch would have made the exorcist suspicious, so I was in my street clothes. A group of girls from the village had tied me to a chair. I was completely restrained, and all I could say was “ah” or “oh.”

Well, for a witch, acting like I’d been possessed by a demon was a piece of cake.

“Unh…ohhh…”

I knew that the people who ate the red fruit from the garden started to spit at everyone who approached them, so the demons that appeared in previous years must have spit at the exorcist a great deal. But I didn’t want to perform such a vulgar act. Least of all when I was in my right mind.

Consequently, I limited myself to glaring at the exorcist.

“……”

But even just my glaring had a tremendous effect.

The exorcist stepped back and said, trembling, “Wh-what wicked eyes you have…!”

…………

He announced that incredibly rude observation.

Then, after asking the villagers for my name, he showered me with all manner of verbal abuse. In this country, the average exorcism by an exorcist started with a verbal assault.

That is to say, the exorcism began just like every other year.

“Y-you filthy demon!” came the scathing words of the exorcist.

“Unhhh.” For the time being, I answered in single syllables.

“Get out of her body! You nasty demon!”

“Ohhh.”

“Ha-ha-ha! What’s wrong? Are you so scared of an exorcist that you can’t even form words?”

“Unhhh.”

“How about trying to speak some proper words, you scum?!”

“Ahh.”

“Tch… What’s going on here…?! I’m getting no traction at all…!”

I got a little nervous. I was worried that my act might have been discovered, but I just kept repeating my wordless groaning.

“So the normal method is having no effect, huh…? Well, there’s no helping it, then.”

By the way, they say that exorcists who face off against many demons carry around a variety of tools at all times for fighting demons.

The exorcist Henrik left me briefly and came back holding a big bag.

It seemed to hold his many secret weapons.

“Heh-heh-heh. Look, demon. Can you see this?”

Henrik produced a small vial from inside his bag. It had an ornate and expensive-looking label affixed to it, and the water inside seemed to be a special kind of water produced by the organization he worked for. I’d heard it could cause great offense to demons when splashed onto the body of a possessed person.

I quickly signaled one of the village girls with my eyes. It was the girl who had named herself my “helper,” the one who selfishly hoped to become acquainted with a handsome guy and get him to introduce her to many more handsome guys.

Without a moment’s delay, she wedged her way in between us and whispered into the exorcist’s ear.

“Huh? I can’t get her wet? All right, then…”

I don’t like to get my clothes wet, so please use a different method.

“Okay, how do you like this?!”

The next thing he pulled out of the bag, as he shouted loudly, was an iron rod. According to Henrik, it was a tool for driving the demon from the body. It was used to whack the body of the possessed person, which caused the demon pain.

I immediately signaled the village girl.

“Huh? I can’t hurt her either? All right, then…”

Please use a different method.

“Okay, well then how about some incense with a unique smell?”

Apparently, a certain type of special incense is best for harassing demons. However, it is a double-edged sword that also causes discomfort in ordinary humans. And I am an ordinary human, so naturally, I signaled the village girl, and—

“Huh? I can’t use stinky smells…?”

Again, I’d like to ask that you use a different method, so…

“Um, I’d like to ask you something if I could… How can I go about this…?”

As one might expect, after being denied three times, the exorcist was growing suspicious.

“Well, what other methods do you have?” the village girl asked coolly.

There wasn’t a single trace of the fact that she had been spitting all over the place the day before. Neither was there a single trace of joy at getting to converse with a handsome guy either. Maybe she was trying to match the mood in the room, because she had adopted an extremely dry demeanor.

“Um…” Henrik the exorcist looked baffled as he rummaged through his bag. “I could make her listen to me read a boring book or something…”

“I see.” The girl glanced over at me. “How about that?”

“Unhhh.” I shook my head.

“Seems like that’s a no-go.”

“What…?”

“Verbal abuse only, please.”

“What…?”

The exorcist was perplexed.

I was in quite enough agony just from being tied up and forced to sit in the chair, so having any further strange things done to me would push my stress level to the limit.

I would be grateful if we could get through this with as little fuss as possible.

“All right, I’ll give it a try with only verbal abuse…”

Looking exhausted, the young exorcist Henrik stood up and faced me again.

He got close enough that he could have touched me if he had reached out his hand, and then he shouted, “You filthy demon!”

“Ah…ohhh…”

He was a little too loud, but I just maintained the blank look on my face and let out some sounds that weren’t quite words.

I got a little nervous, worried that my act might have been discovered, and just kept repeating my indifferent interjections.

Well, then.

By the way.

As one might expect, working only with verbal abuse, his repertoire of words soon dwindled. It was possible that the villagers and visitors surrounding us might start to suspect something.

And so—

“You can use a little more extreme language. It’s all right,” I whispered to him so that no one else could hear.

“Really? Okay, got it.” The young man before me whispered and nodded.

I got a little nervous. I was worried that Henrick’s act might have been discovered, but I just kept repeating my wordless groaning.

This story began several weeks earlier.

“Ah, what to do…what to do…?”

Clad in black garments, a man carrying a large bag staggered along the streets of a certain city, staring at the ground beneath his feet.

“What on earth am I supposed to do…?”

There was no energy in the young man’s gait. It was almost like he was possessed by a demon or something. The sighs that escaped his lips from time to time were so deep and heavy that it seemed like wisps of his soul were escaping along with them.

My, my.

“You seem troubled.”

Suddenly, a lone witch obstructed his path.

A pair of lifeless eyes peered at me.

“…Who are you?”

I deliberately cleared my throat and announced myself as “A passing fortune-teller.”

During my travels, I would occasionally spend a few days making money by doing some honest work as a fortune-teller.

“If you like, I could read your fortune?”

I happened to meet the exorcist during one of those rare times when I was doing serious business as a fortune-teller.

“Well, what kind of things should I predict?” I asked, facing the man across the folding table I had set up on the side of the road.

In low spirits, he told me the problem.

“…The truth is, I work as an exorcist, but…soon I have to do a really awful job…”

“Uh-huh.”

According to him, several years earlier, very troublesome demons had begun appearing every year in a nearby village. He had no doubt that this year as well, a request for help would soon be coming from that village.

And this year, he was the one who had to go there.

“Up until last year, the senior exorcist had been going, but…the timing is bad, because right now, the senior exorcist is on childcare leave and isn’t around…”

“I see.”

Sounds like a good workplace with substantial benefits.

“So this year, the responsibility falls to me, but… I’ve only ever heard bad rumors about this particular village—”

According to the stories he had heard from the senior exorcist, the demons that appeared in the village never responded, no matter what kind of words he threw at them or what kind of forceful methods he used.

“Instead, all they do is moan and groan.”

Apparently, the senior exorcist, who had been responsible for that village until the previous year, had returned from every visit completely exhausted. Remembering that, the young man was getting terribly nervous about his trip.

I can see how that would be a problem.

“It sounds like they’ll give me an unbelievable amount of money as a reward, but…on the other hand, it sounds like I’m going to be so tired…”

So to sum it up, you don’t want to go to the village, is that right?

“Honestly, the best possible outcome would be if I could just take the money and leave after doing a halfhearted job,” he continued.

“Is that so? That’s too honest, okay?”

“Heh-heh-heh… My heart must be growing hard, dealing with demons day in and day out…” The exorcist chuckled weakly.

I tilted my head to one side. “So what is it you want me to predict?”

“Let me see… For now, I wonder if I could get you to look at my fortune for the week after next…?”

“Got it.”

I nodded in understanding, then flipped over several cards. It was card-based fortune-telling, you see.

“Ummm…” The result came out pretty quickly. “Your fortune for two weeks from now is terrible. The worst of the worst, beyond all hope of salvation.”

“The worst of the worst…”

The expression on the exorcist’s face was truly apocalyptic. “I guess there’s no helping it, then… If a request comes from the village in question, I’ll have to run away…”

“Huh? Is it all right for you to run?”

“Ha-ha-ha! Of course it’s not all right!”

“……”

“But it’s probably better than doing that awful job!”

The young man was already halfway on the offensive.

Poor guy…

“Um…well, don’t feel so down, please. I have certain relief measures prepared for when the fortunes are too dire.”

“Relief measures…?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, if you can, I’d like to somehow claim the reward without having to go to the village.”

“I don’t have any relief measures that are quite so handy.”

“What sort of things do you have?”

“Just ordinary lucky charms.”

“Lucky charms…?” The exorcist was a little disappointed.

“All right, let’s take a look at what kind of lucky charm will relieve your misfortunes two weeks from now, shall we? As long as you hold on to the charm, you’re less likely to meet with misfortune, and—”

Then I flipped over another card.

And the result was—

“Your lucky charm is a demon.”

“A…demon?”

“Apparently, if you carry around a demon, you won’t meet with any misfortune.”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“……”

I’m not sure how to answer you.

You’ll meet with misfortune if you don’t have a demon by your side, and—

“I think it means you won’t have a good time if you run away from your job…”

And so on.

It had been almost exactly two weeks since I’d taken a stab at telling his fortune, but goodness me, my predictions were pretty much right on the money, weren’t they?

“But, Miss Witch, look! The exorcist this time is this guy! He’s quite handsome, isn’t he?”

The village girl who had a thing for the exorcist had a photograph.

The photograph showed a handsome young exorcist, and I was very surprised.

It was the same exorcist who had gotten me to read his fortune.

In which case, this should be a piece of cake.

It was the evening of the second day since I had arrived in the village.

“Ah, what to do…what to do…?”

A young man was walking alone along the road leading to a small village in the mountains. He was clad in black garments, and he carried a large bag. He trudged toward the village with heavy footsteps.

My, my.

“You seem troubled.”

From out of the shadows, a lone young woman suddenly revealed herself to the worried young man.

“…! You’re…!”

The young man’s eyes opened wide with shock.

Standing before him was a witch with long, sleek ash-gray hair, dressed in a black robe and wearing a pointed hat.

Who on earth could it be?

Smiling impishly, she greeted him.

“Hello. I am a demon.”

In conclusion—

I’d caught up with Henrik before he made it to the village, and in addition to explaining the whole situation in detail, I had told him everything he needed to know to get the trick to work.

“So to sum it all up, if we do that, I’ll be able to take the money and go home after doing a halfhearted job…?”

He had readily consented.

Since the exorcism had come to be such a major event in the village, Henrik kept on verbally abusing me until night fell, and I continued moaning and groaning in response.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! You’re a demon, and yet you enter a skinny little body like that?! I guess you must like little gir—”

“What?”

“Sorry.”

Even though we got off track from time to time, Henrik’s exorcism reached enough of a crescendo to seem like an overall success. Finally, it came to an end.

My body made it through entirely unscathed.

Of course, it had never been hijacked by a demon in the first place.

“Wow, thank you so much, Lady Witch…” Once everything was over, the village headman hurried over to me and handed me my reward. “It was truly a wonderful performance. I think you really fooled the exorcist.”

“Well, in my hands, it was an easy piece of work.”

Heh-heh-heh, I, the dirty-dealing witch, chuckled as I tucked the money into my pocket.

I don’t remember selling my soul to a demon, but I think I might be possessed by the spirit of greed.

In any case, my body was ostensibly back to normal, and Henrik, who had finished his duties, had immediately started preparing to go home. He was the type of exorcist who liked to leave at once as soon as he received his payment.

“Oh, leaving already?” The village headman walked unsteadily over from me toward Henrik. “If you like, please stay a few nights. Our village owes its salvation to you.”

Particularly in terms of revenue.

“Oh, no, I didn’t do anything much—”

I mean, you mostly just put on a performance with me.

“How can you say that?! If you weren’t here, the village would have been done for this year!” By the way, I digress, but since I had told Henrik the exorcist about the situation in detail, he of course knew this village had in recent years been turning a profit on the exorcisms. “We really look forward to your help again next year, Master Exorcist!”

“Oh, next year, too?”

In the headman’s mind, it seemed to already be a settled matter that they would hold an exorcism again the following year. There was a glint in his eye that betrayed his grubby heart. He would certainly never let go of such a good moneymaking scheme.

All they had to do to get the tourists to show up was to tie up someone who could only moan and groan because of the poison in a fruit and then call an exorcist and have them perform an exorcism. For the village, nothing could be simpler.

But to put it another way, it was a really easy choice for Henrik. All he had to do was put on an act. He could claim plenty of reward money.

Consequently—

“That’s not a bad idea…”

“Hoh-hoh-hoh, not bad at all, is it?”

Even as Henrik and the village headman amicably exchanged words, I couldn’t help but feel like there was sort of a rank atmosphere hanging in the air between them.

Watching the two of them converse, the girl who had taken responsibility for being my helper during the middle of the exorcism let out a sigh.

“Sigh…”

She let out a very, very deep sigh.

My, my.

“You don’t want to ask him for his contact information?” I asked. Then I whispered like a demon in her ear, “This is your chance to get a hot guy to introduce you to hot guys…!”

But she shook her head slowly. “It turns out he’s not actually all that handsome, so I’m good…,” she said with a look of realization on her face.

While she was at it, she added, “I feel like he looked a little cooler when I saw him in the photograph…” and dismissed him with a distant look in her eye.

I suppose she had expected too much and been disappointed.

Or maybe she had come back to her senses once she learned that even the handsome exorcist was still a human who was moved by greed.

As she stared at Henrik, her eyes were as cold as a snowy field in the dead of winter.

So I put my hand on her shoulder and responded, “Well…the real thing sometimes disappoints.”

Just like how the demon turned out to be a simple piece of fruit.