Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 2 - Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

The People Who Hunt the Lazy

It was a peaceful day.

I had some time to kill and had chosen to amuse myself in the outdoor seating area of a coffee shop that faced the main avenue of the totally ordinary city where I was staying.

“…Sigh.” I took a sip of my café au lait and set down the cup.

I wasn’t dressed like a witch today. I was taking a break from my travels—and a break from being a witch. Dressed in a relatively plain outfit of a navy blue sweater and white flared skirt, I blended into the cityscape.

“……” I opened up the newspaper.

Somehow, this particular country seemed especially peaceful.

GRANDFATHER LOSES DENTURES

WATCH OUT FOR A PERVERT WITH WOMEN’S UNDERWEAR ON HIS HEAD!

YOUTH AVOIDANCE OF JOBS INTENSIFIES

IN NEED OF METHOD FOR SOLVING TRUANCY!

These were the sorts of things that made the headlines, after all. There were no wars that needed to be won and no news of any importance that needed to be conveyed to the public.

Well, to put it simply, it was so peaceful, it was boring. You could say it was perfect for a vacation. I reached for my cup again.

“…Huh?” However, just as I did, the cup and the table with it disappeared from my sight.

Or perhaps I should say, they blew away.

Something came flying out of the shop with a terrible noise, swept them up, and disappeared.

“…Ahhh.” When I turned to run after my café au lait, I found that the contents had been dramatically dashed all over some bloody young man. He was collapsed on top of the tables and chairs that had piled up like debris.

Oh, my café au lait. I can’t believe you would die on me.

“You’ve got some nerve skipping work to fool around with women! Take your job more seriously!” The vulgar man appeared out of the shop, yanking up the guy by the collar and shaking him violently.

Still bleeding, the young man begged, “P-please…! Let me go! It was a date with my girlfriend to celebrate our one-month anniversary!”

“No way. I won’t forgive you. It’s an established rule in this country that we shall pass judgment on anyone who neglects his work—without exception.”

Then the man started walking.

“Eeeeeek! S-stop, please…”

Dragging the wailing youth with him, he left the seating area and headed for the main avenue.

“……”

Hey. I didn’t hear any apology for the untimely death of my café au lait.

I wasn’t planning to do anything witchy or traveler-esque today, but the man in question was totally calm after ruining a drink that I paid for, so I didn’t feel like letting him off the hook.

First, I folded the newspaper and stood up.

Then I picked up a stone lying nearby and chucked it with all my might. “Hyah!” The palm-size stone soared through the air, heading straight for the back of the vulgar man’s head.

It landed a magnificent direct hit.

“Ow!” The man stumbled dramatically, then turned around with a demonic expression. “Hey, which one of you bastards hit me with a rock just now?!”

Who could it have been?

“It was me,” I responded.

He barreled toward me, still dragging the battered young man. “Oh? You’ve got some nerve trying to pick a fight with me—hmm?”

But he lost his momentum halfway through and came to a stop.

“……?” I tilted my head in confusion at his incomprehensible behavior.

The man stayed rooted to the spot and stared at me. The wind blew between us, and someone shrieked upon witnessing the disastrous scene around the café; only then did the man seem to regain his senses.

“…Huh. Crap, I blacked out.” I must have hit him in the wrong place, because the man was shaking slightly.

“You. Don’t get carried away just because you’re kind of cute, okay? Do you know who I am? Hey.”

“I have no clue. Who are you?”

“……”

“Who are you?” I asked him again.

He cleared his throat forcefully. “…I am Loegred, of the Truancy Inspection Bureau. Disturbing my work is a major crime.”

“Is that so? It’s kind of you to explain that… By the way, you wasted my café au lait. Do you have any idea of the severity of that crime?”

“Your café au lait?”

“Yes.” Anyway, what’s the Truancy Inspection Bureau? Color me curious. “My café au lait is now all soaked by that young man’s clothes because you ravaged the place. Please take some responsibility.”

“……” Loegred—or whatever his name was—looked back and forth between the young man and me several times. “That’s got nothing to do with me. Get this guy to pay you back.” He spit as he spoke. Disgusting.

“No. This would’ve never happened if you hadn’t ransacked the café.”

“Blame the guy who made me act that way—”

“It’s your fault. You were the one thrashing around.”

“……”

“With that in mind, please take proper responsibility for your actions.” I glared at him.

The man smiled slightly. “…Well, okay then. I’ll pay up. This is my third year working for the Truancy Inspection Bureau, so I’ve got a pretty penny. I’ve got more than enough money to treat you.”

It was a mystery to me why he suddenly started bragging, but unfortunately, his proposal was a little different from what I had in mind.

I shook my head and refused his offer. “No, I’m not saying that I want your money.”

Then I made a totally different offer.

“Would you tell me a little bit about that Truancy Inspection Bureau, or whatever it’s called? If you do that, we can call it even.”

“…?”

I could see several emotions making their way across the man’s face, proving he couldn’t wrap his mind around my request.

“You don’t mind, do you?” I made my follow-up attack, and the man nodded in confusion.

We’d reached a consensus.

Before I knew it, my wonderfully boring vacation was nowhere to be found.

After helping to put the coffee shop back in order, and taking the opportunity to order another café au lait, the two of us sat at the tables outside.

Facing me was Mr. Loegred of the Truancy Inspection Bureau.

The young man whom he had been dragging around earlier had been taken away by another Bureau member.

But just how massive of an organization is this Truancy Inspection Bureau, or whatever?

“I see. So you’re a traveler? In that case, it’s not that surprising that you’ve never heard of us. By the way, may I ask your name?”

“It’s Elaina.”

“Elaina, huh? Nice name. And are you free right now, Elaina?” He addressed me very casually—no title, no “Miss,” no nothing.

“I am, but…”

“How about tomorrow?”

“Probably free, but…”

“I see. So you’re free… And you want to know about my job, right? In that case, why don’t you come shadow me?”

“Eh, that’s all right.” I think I’ll be satisfied just to hear you talk about it.

“Come on, now, don’t say that. If you want to know about what we do, I think you’ll understand best by working alongside me. After all, it’s a pretty complex job.”

“……”

Even though I felt like he was pulling my leg, there was a part of me that thought he was being certainly reasonable. And it seemed sort of interesting.

…Hmm.

“I guess that would be fine, but…before that, please tell me precisely what the job entails.”

“All right! Sure thing!”

After pumping his fist up in the air, the man went on and on about the Truancy Inspection Bureau.

As the name suggested, the Truancy Inspection Bureau conducted research regarding truancy and was an agency unique to that country. Its objective was to manage the attendance of every worker registered at a business, and the Bureau investigated any suspicious people and censured them.

Those who have been censured, without exception, were severely punished by their place of employment.

Apparently, the adults had decided that this method was bound to curb truancy among young people. Certainly, the newspaper had also run an article regarding absenteeism, calling it “Youth Avoidance of Jobs Intensifies,” and it was plain to see that the people of this country were no slouches when it came to work.

Maybe it’s because they’ve got nothing else to worry about?

“Well, in short, we’re making great efforts, and as a result, there are fewer and fewer jerks who ditch work.”

“Huh. In other words, you’re special operatives sent in by the government to correct people’s attitudes toward their jobs.”

“Simply put, yes.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And since we’re backed by the government, no one gets angry with us, even if our methods get…extreme. I’ve never lost a fight in all my life, so this job is my calling—because no matter what I do, I’m always in the right.”

I want to know why you suddenly started bragging about yourself.

Totally ignoring my annoyance, Mr. Loegred drained the rest of his café au lait.

“Shall we get going?”

“Where to?”

He flashed a smile, looking quite pleased with himself. “To have you come watch me at work, of course.”

It would have been a pain to turn him down, so for the moment, I just brought my warm café au lait to my lips and said nothing.

That afternoon, I shadowed him as he did his job.

The first place on our tour was a furniture shop.

The middle-aged man there talked to us as he assembled shelves. The inside of the shop was saturated with the smell of wood.

“That’s right. I’m really at a loss, Mr. Inspector. This week, his younger sister apparently passed away.”

According to the man at the furniture shop, a young man who was newly apprenticed under him for the past three months had stopped coming to work.

“This week? Have there been previous incidents?” I interjected.

I wasn’t an inspector, but this caught my interest.

The man nodded. “Yeah. Last week, it was his father who died.”

“Oh.”

“And the week before that, his mother passed away.”

“……”

“And the week before the week before that, it was his grandfather.”

“……”

“And the week before the week before the week before that—”

“Okay, that’s enough.”

I had no idea how long that was going to continue.

Right away, I understood that this was an extremely suspicious situation.

After that, Mr. Loegred collected some additional information from the shopkeeper, and then we left the shop.

“Well, this really got interesting, huh? Do you suppose that young apprentice is cursed to have a family member die each week?”

“That’s exactly why we’re keeping an eye on him. At any rate, we’ve got to investigate whether it’s true—though I’m almost positive he’s playing hooky.”

“Seems like it.”

After that, we headed for the young man’s house and found him absentmindedly gazing at the wild birds in his neighborhood. Mr. Loegred immediately apprehended him.

From what I overheard of their conversation, not a single member of his family had passed away. His parents and grandparents were still very much alive. On top of that, he was an only child. That meant his younger sister had never existed in the first place. I suppose that was how badly he didn’t want to work.

“Youth Avoidance of Jobs Intensifies,” indeed…

After that, I spent several days observing Mr. Loegred on the job.

The excuses offered by the ditchers were really pathetic. It was really too miserable to watch. Just what compels them to go to such lengths?

On this day, one of the first people on our schedule was a young man who worked at the library. They hadn’t heard from him for about a week, so we paid him a visit.

“About a week ago? Oh, it was raining that day, so I took it off,” the young man calmly explained. “Since then, I’ve been taking days off for one reason or another.”

Growing visibly vexed at the young man’s attitude, Mr. Loegred pressed closer to him. “Well then, I suppose you’ll be able to go today, huh?”

“Yeah, sure thing… Ah, sorry. You know, the wind is pretty strong today, so I’ll pass.”

“Hey!”

Naturally, he was dragged away.

The next person we encountered was a young woman who worked at an inn. Her employer had not been able to get in contact with her for three days.

“You’ve got it all wrong. I haven’t been playing hooky for three days. I’ve been saving lives for that time, so I haven’t been able to work, even though I really wanted to.”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re absent today, though.”

“Oh, it’s because I was planning to find someone who needs a little saving.”

“……”

Don’t you think you should be helping people at your place of employment?

The third person on our schedule was an older boy who worked at a grocery store. He had been occasionally absent for several months, but this time, at last, he had failed to show up for a full week.

This was what he had to say for himself.

“I didn’t want to do my job, so I stayed home.”

“……”

“……”

Why not just quit?

And that seemed to be the extent of it.

That was how jobs cropped up for the inspectors of the Truancy Inspection Bureau.

I spent a little more time observing Mr. Loegred’s work, which did seem quite difficult, but I eventually gave it up when he suggested setting up surveillance on a teacher who had recently gone rogue.

That’s enough of that, I had thought. Who knows how long I might have gotten tied up if I hadn’t put a stop to it? And honestly, I had simply lost interest in being dragged around on my vacation.

It happened several days after that.

Somehow, I had ended up with too much free time and was amusing myself in an outdoor seating area of a coffee shop that faced the main avenue. I was reading one of the three books I had purchased in a bookstore in a certain country. Blowing on and sipping a steaming café au lait.

However, my peaceful solitude soon came to an end.

“Hey. So this is where you’ve been hiding.” Mr. Loegred took it upon himself to sit across from me.

“Hello.”

Even after I had stopped observing his work, he had repeatedly come to invite me back. He was kind of persistent.

“You won’t be joining me today?”

“Right. I don’t feel the need.”

“Uuuh,” he groaned, wrinkling his brow in discontent. “…All right, Elaina, are you available right now?” he asked.

“I am, but…”

“I see; so you’re free.”

“Yes.”

“You’re free, huh?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

I don’t have anything going on, so I’m reading a book. And since I’m busy reading, I have no intention of getting wrapped up in some other matter.

If he had come to ask me on a date, I was intending to turn him down flatly, but…

“Well, in that case, would you like to go have some fun with m—?”

…His words were interrupted partway through. They were drowned out by a thunderous roar. When I looked up from my book in surprise, he was nowhere to be seen.

Everything—including the table—had disappeared from my sight.

Or perhaps I should say, they had blown away.

I looked around, only to find the bloodied figure of Mr. Loegred atop the tables and chairs that had piled up like rubble.

And overturned on top of it all, my café au lait.

Oh, my café au lait. I can’t believe you would die on me again.

“Youuuu! You’ve got some nerve skipping out on work to fool around with women! You’re a member of the Truancy Inspection Bureau, for crying out loud! And didn’t you say you were taking the day off because of a fever?! Hey!” jeered someone at Mr. Loegred from behind me, as I mourned the loss of another innocent thing.

“Y-you’re wrong! I was planning to go to the hospital just now! I wasn’t playing hooky!”

Oh? I think I’ve heard this conversation before.

“Don’t lie to me, you brat! There’s not a man in this world who would enjoy lunch at a café with his girlfriend and then go on a little date to the hospital!”

“Uh, I’m not his girlfriend.”

There’s been a misunderstanding.

“…After enjoying lunch with a friend who’s not his girlfriend—”

“I’m not his friend, either.”

“……”

“We’re just acquaintances.”

“Show me a man who would have lunch with an acquaintance at a café before going to a hospital.”

Then the big man grabbed the nape of Mr. Loegred’s neck. “What I’m saying is that you’re coming with me. Got it?”

He dragged Mr. Loegred away slowly.

“C-crap…! Let me go! Let gooo!”

He heaved him from the terrace, out toward the main avenue.

“……”

Hey. I didn’t hear any apology for the second passing of my café au lait.

I stuck a bookmark between two pages, closed my book, and stood up.

Then I picked up a stone lying nearby and threw it. “Hyah!” The palm-size stone soared through the air, heading straight for the back of the enormous man’s head.

It landed a magnificent direct hit.

“Ow!” The large man stumbled dramatically, then turned around with a demonic expression. “Hey, which one of you bastards hit me with a rock just now?!”

Who else?

“It was me,” I responded.

The large man stomped toward me, still dragging Mr. Loegred. “Oh? You’ve got some nerve trying to pick a fight with me—Hmm?”

But he lost his momentum halfway through and came to a stop. The man stood rooted to the spot and stared at me.

The wind blew between us, and someone shrieked “Not again!” at the disastrous scene around the café; only then did the man seem to regain his senses.

It took a slightly different course than the time with Mr. Loegred.

Well, maybe it wasn’t all that different.

“What the—? Well, aren’t you a cutie…?”

The Truancy Investigation Bureau had been established by the state in order to curb absenteeism in the youth, but the organization was forced to temporarily halt operations around the time I left the country.

What on earth happened to it? According to what I heard, for some reason, the inspectors (mostly men) started skipping out on work one after the other, and it got out of control.

It was a disaster, like if a conman got conned. It caused quite an uproar among the people there. The news didn’t have much else to report, so the entire Truancy Investigation Bureau was subject to harsh criticism.

And what of all those male inspectors who were severely punished for neglecting their posts, you ask? Apparently, they all gave the same strange testimony regarding the incident, stating, “A cute girl tricked us. We regret nothing.”

Oh, is beauty a crime now?

Anyway, they’d better come up with a smarter way of solving the truancy issue. While the Bureau has halted operations, I only hope that calm conversations can be had among adults.

If not, they might be tempted by some big bad witch.