Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 3 - Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Object Lessons: The Clever Master and the Cheeky Pupil

I’m Elaina! Apprentice Witch Elaina!

Right now, I’m training to become a witch, and I live with my teacher, Miss Fran!

My teacher is known as the Stardust Witch, and she’s apparently a really big deal! She has long hair that’s black as night and shines beautifully when it catches the light. She has kind eyes, and she’s gracious as well! Most people with great personalities are incompetent and useless, but that’s not the case for Miss Fran. She’s totally flawless, beyond excellent, and an impeccable, perfect human being!

Of course, since I’m studying under such a wonderful teacher, I must be a perfect student as well…truly!

I’m kidding, by the way.

Mostly regarding the description of my teacher.

“……”

Well then, allow me to move on and tell you the truth.

The woman I call my teacher is always slacking off and messing around. Today, she surprised me by saying something like, “Elaina, what are you doing? Oh? Working on a new spell? Wow. Amazing. You really study hard!” Just when I thought she was going to give me a word of advice, she said, “Well, do your best!” and started reading a book.

When I first began my training, I was confused by her carefree attitude and got all fired up, thinking, Oh, is she doing what I think she is? She’s testing my independence, isn’t she? All right then, I’ ll do my best! The truth was, though, that she had agreed to teach me only as a favor to my parents.

So knowing this, how should I describe my dear teacher?

Well, for every time she says, “Elaina, let me help you with your training,” there’s another when she comes to show me a new spell like a normal teacher and then… “Elaina. Let me—oh, a butterfly…oh-ho-ho…” …she just disappears to parts unknown.

She often irritates me by saying things like, “Elaina, I’m hungry.”

In short, the person I call my teacher is, to put it nicely, the embodiment of the words wild and free. To put it not so nicely, she’s a total ditz.

“By the way, what kind of potion are you making?”

She’s also terribly fickle.

All of a sudden, Miss Fran poked her head out from beside me and stared at the various ingredients sitting on the table and the small flask containing a blue potion.

“……”

I always, always found myself on the receiving end of her flights of fancy. “This is a breathe-life-into-objects potion. I just whipped it up for fun.”

“Breathe-life-into-objects…? What kind of effect does it have?”

“When you apply the liquid in this flask to an object, it gains the ability to talk to you. Actually, I’ve already finished the proof of concept.”

For example, if you put it on a pen, the pen will cry out, “Thanks for always gripping me so tightly! Oh-ho-ho!” If you put it on a dust cloth, you might be surprised when it says something like, “Now, this is just between you and me, but I’m not a dust cloth, I’m a towel! Oh, I’m so dirty…”

By the way, when I applied it to a scrub brush, it whispered, “Brushie is so dirty…”

Oh my.

I had successfully created an amazing potion that would allow people to communicate with everyday objects. It was an accidental invention but one that seemed surprisingly monetizable.

“…That’s wonderful!” My teacher was quiet for a moment, then she said something strange. “By the way, Elaina, actually, I’ve heard of a village in this area that’s having some trouble that might be solved if the people there could talk to objects.”

“Oh?”

What an oddly specific problem. Exactly what kind of trouble are they having that could be solved by talking to objects? I’ d certainly like to meet these people and ask them a few questions.

“Incidentally, I’ve heard that the villagers will bake delicious bread for whoever helps them out.”

“Wow…”

That’s got to be the most blatant lie I’ve ever heard.

“So, Elaina, won’t you lend me that potion for a day?”

“What are you going to do if I lend it to you?”

“Isn’t that obvious? I’ll get you as much exquisite bread as you could desire!”

“……”

Her statement reeked of falsehood, and I frowned. “Well then, tell me the location of that village. I’ll go and get the bread myself.”

“I can’t do that. The people of that village don’t trust anyone but me.”

“Huh? You mean someone besides me is foolish enough to trust you?”

“That’s mean.”

It’s not mean at all.

It’s been almost a year since I joined you, so I think I sort of understand what you’re planning. I bet you intend to head over to a nearby village and sell my potion for a high price. You’ ll make a killing and use some of the money to buy me lots of bread.

What a clever plan.

“Come on, Elaina, you can trust me. If I go, we can get lots of tasty bread!”

“……”

Despite how well I knew the depths of Miss Fran’s mind, I didn’t feel like challenging her. Neither could I muster up the energy to bluntly reject her suggestion. It would just have been a pain to try, and besides, no matter the situation, it didn’t change the fact that Miss Fran was going to take a special trip to a nearby village to buy bread for me.

This was extremely rare behavior for the kind of freewheeling, fickle person who I’ve painted a picture of so far.

“…Go ahead.”

I surrendered the small flask and the magical blue liquid sloshing about inside to my teacher.

So.

That evening.

“I’m back, Elaina!”

Miss Fran returned.

“Oh, welcome…back…?”

What’s going on here? Miss Fran was holding only a single loaf of bread. And it was plain white bread. And it had gone cold. It looked awful.

She got me all excited by saying she would bring back loads of tasty bread, so what’s the meaning of this?

“Oh, I’m sorry, Elaina. For various reasons, I could only get this. By the way, I used up most of your potion.”

Apparently.

“……Huh?”

I took the flask back from Miss Fran. Sure enough, it was nearly empty. Only enough remained to tint the base of the flask.

I found her words awfully suspicious. Looking carefully, I could see breadcrumbs stuck all around her mouth. Her whole body smelled like bread. I was ready to drop the hammer and pronounce her guilty.

“Oh, Elaina? Don’t tell me you doubt me… I’m not lying! Really, really, this is all the bread I got.”

“And why is that?”

“Well, I can’t tell you, for various reasons.”

“Why did you use up most of my potion?”

“There are various reasons for that, too.”

How are the words various reasons so highly convenient?

Well, liars are easy to sniff out. And my teacher and I were apparently very similar people.

Our methods of lying bear a striking resemblance.

Maybe because we’ve spent a lot of time together?

“……”

Well, in any case, it had become clear that Miss Fran was very similar to me in the moment she handed me the flask.

And I’m not so foolish that I wouldn’t have thought up a counterplan against this obvious development.

So I sprung the trap that I had laid.

Slowly swirling the small flask that I was holding, I asked, “Little flask, little flask, what did Miss Fran get up to while I wasn’t looking?”

The flask answered, “Oh, miss, this witch, she exchanged the potion that was inside me for a large quantity of bread in a nearby village. Then, on the way home, she somehow ate ten whole loaves, saying, ‘It should be fine if I eat just one…,’ again and again.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. She’s really unbelievable!”

I nodded.

Flasks are objects, too.

If you put the potion in them, they can talk. That’s how it works.

So then…

“Well, miss? Do you have anything to say to me?”

But Miss Fran just darted her eyes around awkwardly as sweat beaded on her forehead, and she didn’t respond. She was just like an inanimate object.

I wonder if she’ ll talk if I pour some potion on her…